Sunday, November 12, 2017

PTSD, "Heaven Knows It's Not The Way It Could Be"

What We Left Out of Veterans Days
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 12, 2017

Yesterday was Veterans Day, but for us, we knew that they are a veteran everyday of the year. As for us, we're fighting the battles after they fight for the country...and each other.

They get parades, we get mood swings. They get pins, we get canceled plans. They get coins, we get pay the bill 24-7. They get thanked for their service, we get to witness what that service did to them and wonder what we can do to ever make it up to them.

I wasn't planning on writing this early this morning. I was listening to an Oldies countdown when Donna Summer's "Heaven Knows" came on. I thought about watching the Orlando Veterans Day parade for the first time on TV, instead of being at it or in it.

My back isn't doing very well right now, so I opted to take it easy. It was also a choice made out of heartache. 

The theme of this year's parade was PTSD. For the 13 years I've lived in Florida, it has been one rejection after another. It didn't seem to matter much that I had invested over three decades in working on healing it. No one wants to hear from the old lady. They only want the younger ones. The worst thing is, they don't want to help the older veterans, even though 65% of the veterans committing suicide, are from my generation.

Yes, men and women just like the one I fell in love with so long ago. When we met I was young, like the generation everyone talks about helping. Back then I didn't have the luxury of easy answers in the palm of my hand. We didn't deal in what was easy for anyone. We dealt with what was working. We wanted to know how to save our families the painful choice of walking away.

I don't know about you, but once I understood what PTSD was, there was no way in hell I was about to let a man like him leave with that depth of love inside of him.

While you may be thinking it isn't the way you thought it would be, maybe you should be thinking about the way it could be. I can assure you, it can all be so much better.

It's not the way it should be
And heaven knows
It's not the way it could be
and don't you know
There's no need to leave
Heaven knows
I never wanna leave you
Heaven knows
I only wanna please you
Don't you know
Love is what I need

Take whatever you think you know from social media and all the folks running about the country screaming about a number that has been proven false, and forget about all of it. Safe bet it has done you absolutely no good at all. Pretty much, it seems to be doing more harm than helping any of our veterans stay here. Read the percentages from the VA suicide report. The numbers are wrong but it shows the percentage of the veterans they do know about.

Try something new, like investing the time to learn about what will help the ones we love. You won't regret it, especially when it is just the two of you to live still standing by their side.
Down inside (down inside)
Don't get caught with foolish pride
(Don't get caught with foolish pride)
Blow the other things aside (things aside)
It's only you and me
(You and me, you and)
Believe in us (believe in us)
We were always meant to be
(Always meant to be)
Me for you and you for me (you for me)
Till eternity ('til eternity)
Donna Summer 

If you really love him/her, then learn what is harming them. If you really know how rare their love is, then fight the stuff that is trying to turn them into someone you don't want to be around. Remind them why you loved them and that you know, under all the pain they try to hide, they are still in there. 

Stop wanting things to be better and do the work to make it good.

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