Do They Think About Price Paid Generations Before Them?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 7, 2015

I think it is wonderful that so many spouses are talking about what happens when veterans come home from war afflicted by PTSD however I think it is horrible they decided to not listen when we said it all before and very loudly.

Every generation came home from war with what has been known as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder since the late 70's. That's right the 70's. It was not until the 1980 that the Department of Veterans Affairs started to call it that. It happened because Vietnam veterans decided to fight for it and stop suffering in silence. They got loud!

They also knew that they were not just fighting for their own generation but for their Dads and Granddads as well as their own kids and Grandchildren.

If you are guessing I am sort of ticked off after reading yet another copy and paste of our lives, you're right but you may be off on the reason.

They seem to think that it only happened to them. They forget about us and what we tried to prepare them for. The term "new normal" came from our generation and what was seen as abnormal to the rest of the country. We didn't settle for "just get over it" and move on.

If you want to know why there are Crisis Intervention Teams and trauma specialist all around the world, it is because Vietnam veterans came back and fought for it. They changed the entire world so that survivors of trauma could be treated instead of shunned into silence.

Say it out loud
Army spouse tells her own story to help military couples work through reintegration and other stress
Stars and Stripes
By Terri Barnes
Published: June 6, 2015

“It was a new normal,” Corie said. “We had to start over in a new way. We had to repurpose and re-envision who we are as a couple. We both had changed. … It changed our marriage. We don’t regret that. We’re better for it, and we use our story in our marriage retreats to normalize and validate what other families go through."

In the most difficult days of her marriage, Corie Weathers practiced a principle she learned as a licensed professional counselor: Say out loud the things that are hard to say out loud.

Like many military couples, Corie and her husband, Matt, an Army chaplain, experienced their toughest trial after Matt’s first deployment. During that deployment, several of Matt’s fellow soldiers were killed, and many were injured.

“My husband came home definitely with combat stress, on the line between combat stress and (post-traumatic stress disorder),” Corie said. “There was a lot of his experience that I couldn’t relate to, because I wasn’t there, and I didn’t share those experiences with him.”

On the homefront during that deployment, Corie was using her own expertise, counseling and supporting the spouses of the killed and injured and others, as well as being the sole caregiver of the couple’s two young sons.

“I had my own experiences that [Matt] didn’t know how to process,” she said. “We now call them sacred moments. There’s no way for each of us to understand what the other went through; because we can’t understand it fully, we have to respect those spaces.”

Reaching that understanding required Corie and Matt to learn how to communicate their feelings to one another.

“There’s so much power in saying it out loud,” she said. “For me to verbalize how mad I was that I was so tired, and when my husband came home, I couldn’t just jump back into dual parenting immediately. That was a difficult transition.”
read more here

In 2003 For The Love of Jack, His War/My Battle was published.

18 years of a couple's life should not have been so hard. But they were. Kathie takes you through all the heartache of watching her husband suffer with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She opens her heart and shows her faith as she fights her husband to get help and fights the government to make sure he gets the help needed to heal. To Kathie it was a commitment to try her best to stay by his side when he wanted to escape. She showed that there is healing and help for people like her beloved Jack and hope for all.

It was republished in 2013.

"Although we communicated while we were living apart, we couldn’t actually have a conversation any more. It was small talk. It was as if he had forgotten how to give and take in a normal conversation. Most of the time it was as if he wasn’t there although he was in the same room. I could tell by looking at him that his mind was too far away to reach. I would end up yelling at him to snap him back into the moment."

"They need to know that they can have a normal life again and that society has finally come to terms with these illnesses instead of speaking about them with whispers."

Does this generation ever think of where all the resources they have came from? Do they think about the price paid by the generations before them? Do they ever once consider what it was like for our generation to step up after being betrayed by the entire nation? Or what it was like to fight for all generations after the older generations wanted nothing to do with us?

When they finally use that fabulous gadget called a cellphone in their hands and actually do some research on all of this, then maybe they'd be able to save more lives than are lost everyday. After all, everything our generation did was done before the Internet, Facebook and the only tweets we heard came from Looney Toons.

In The Living Years
Mike and the Mechanics
Every generation blames the one before.
And all of their frustrations come beating on your door.
I know that I'm a prisoner to all my father held so dear.
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years
Crumpled bits of paper
Filled with imperfect thought
Stilted conversations
I'm afraid that's all we've got
You say you just don't see it
He says it's perfect sense
You just can't get agreement
In this present tense
We all talk a different language
Talking in defense
Say it loud, say it clear
You can listen as well as you hear
It's too late when we die
To admit we don't see eye to eye

I just uploaded a video I made back in 2006 on living with PTSD.

Wounded Minds
Jun 7, 2015 In 2006 I created Wounded Minds video so that others could learn the easy way after my generation learned the hard way. We found what worked for us living with PTSD after combat. While so many seem to think PTSD is new, it isn't and that is what causes the most harm. None of this is new. Our generation is living proof that PTSD can be defeated even though it cannot be cured. If you think the term "Wounded Minds" is new, it isn't and it is time folks stopped taking work that belonged to someone else as their own. This video as up on YouTube in 2006.

Veterans deserve the truth about PTSD

Veterans deserve the truth about PTSD
Wounded Times Blog
Kathie Costos
June 6, 2013

A good place to start on this is attacking the news reports coming out insinuating there is anything new on PTSD. This is insulting to all veterans and advocates. They are angry because they have paid attention. They also earned the right to be treated properly. Given the fact that as reports come out, the truth has been covered up. They are dying needlessly because reporters ignore the history of efforts claiming to be addressing PTSD as well as suicides. Veterans deserve the truth.

This is PTSD Awareness Month but while it may sound like a new endeavor, it isn't. Wounded Times even has the link up on the sidebar. It is up there because far too many people still don't understand it. The veterans know what it is doing to them. Their families are starting to learn about it. But what if I told you raising awareness started for OEF and OIF veterans back in 2008?

Major General David Blackledge came out and talked about his own battle with PTSD.

"It's part of our profession ... nobody wants to admit that they've got a weakness in this area," Blackledge said of mental health problems among troops returning from America's two wars.

"I have dealt with it. I'm dealing with it now," said Blackledge, who came home with post-traumatic stress. "We need to be able to talk about it."

As the nation marks another Veterans Day, thousands of troops are returning from Iraq and Afghanistan with anxiety, depression and other emotional problems.

Up to 20 percent of the more than 1.7 million who've served in the wars are estimated to have symptoms. In a sign of how tough it may be to change attitudes, roughly half of those who need help aren't seeking it, studies have found.

Blackledge was followed by General Cater Ham talking openly about his battle with PTSD.

Now the commander of U.S. Army Europe, Ham, along with his wife, discussed his post-combat difficulties in an interview just before Christmas. It was the second interview the pair have given to a newspaper. Their willingness to speak publicly about the issue is rare in traditional military culture, but they appeared entirely comfortable. “Frankly, it’s a little weird to me that people are making a big deal about it,” Ham said of the response to his openness. “Like lots of soldiers I needed a little help, and I got a little help.”

By the end of 2008 Army Times reported that more than two thirds of Americans had no clue what PTSD was.

A month later, January of 2009 the DOD suicide prevention conference started to focus on PTSD and the stigma.

An Army staff sergeant who had lost Soldiers in the war zone was called a coward, a wimp and a wuss from a leader when he mentioned he might need psychological help.

It is this type of stigma from toxic leadership that can kill, and that is being examined by scientists, clinicians and specialists in an attempt to eliminate it, said Army Brig. Gen. (Dr.) Loree K. Sutton, who is the Army's highest ranking psychiatrist.

Dr. Sutton described the staff sergeant's real experience during her opening remarks of the 2009 Department of Defense/Veterans Affairs Annual Suicide Prevention Conference being held Jan. 12 through 15 in San Antonio. More than 750 people -- specialists from the military, VA, and civilian social workers, chaplains, researchers, and family members effected by suicide -- gathered with a common goal of finding ways to reduce suicide.

"The secretary of Defense and chairman of the joint chiefs have both emphasized, 'seeking help is a sign of profound courage and strength.

In March of 2009, The Department of Defense testified before Congress on A hearing meant to give Defense Department officials a chance to explain their plans for spending $900 million allocated for mental health care quickly turned into a debate on how that money should be spent.

As yet, military experts on post-traumatic stress disorder and traumatic brain injuries are still working out which studies should be funded, which treatment methods should be adopted and which pilot programs should be put in place.

“We keep getting studies,” Rep. John Murtha, D-Pa., chairman of the House defense appropriations panel, said at a hearing Tuesday. “That’s the problem with the Defense Department — they study it to death.”.

Studied to death was a proper choice of words considering that 2012 brought the highest number of attempted and successful suicides tied to military service after billions had been spent. Congress has been just as guilty of talking about it, funding bills and pushing programs that have not produced good results. What do they do? They fund more of the same and veterans, well, they get news reporters pretending that everything being done today is new.

Now that you have some idea, you need to know that efforts to raise awareness about PTSD had started many years before. FOR THE LOVE OF JACK, HIS WAR/MY BATTLE told the story of what was happening to Vietnam veterans and their families and was originally released in April of 2003.

Read THE WARRIOR SAW, SUICIDES AFTER WAR so that you will know who did what and when it was done. Billions spent funding the same programs that have a history of failure. Reporters ignoring the voices of psychiatrists and psychologists and advocates screaming about how the programs have made it worse and in fact prevented far too many from seeking help. History has proven we were right all along. How families suffered without knowing what they could do to help. If you think there is no need to fear what is coming, consider this last thought. The Department of Defense still has not released their comprehensive report on military suicides for 2012. It is almost the end of June. The data should have been released months ago. The report on Army, National Guards and Reservists for May have not been released yet. This all points to a very bleak outcome for all the campaigns to raise awareness and prevent needless suffering.

The Ripple Effects of PTSD

The Ripple Effects of PTSD
KALW
By Casey Miner
May 13, 2013

What veterans have seen at war doesn’t just affect them – it also affects the people around them. Journalist Mac McClelland has been reporting on how Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) affects families and how they cope when very little treatment is available. KALW’s Casey Miner interviews McClelland about her recent article in Mother Jones magazine titled, “Is PTSD contagious?”

The article opens with Brannan Vines’ story:

“Brannan Vines has never been to war, but she's got a warrior's skills: hyperawareness, hypervigilance, adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning for danger, for triggers. Super stimuli-sensitive. Skills on the battlefield, crazy-person behavior in a drug store, where she was recently standing behind a sweet old lady counting out change when she suddenly became so furious her ears literally started ringing. Being too cognizant of every sound – every coin dropping an echo – she explodes inwardly, fury flash-incinerating any normal tolerance for a fellow patron with a couple of dollars in quarters and dimes. Her nose starts running she's so pissed, and there she is standing in a CVS, snotty and deaf with rage, like some kind of maniac, because a tiny elderly woman needs an extra minute to pay for her dish soap or whatever.”

Brannan Vines’ husband, Caleb, did two tours in Iraq, where he suffered a traumatic brain injury, and developed severe PTSD. Since he returned from the war seven years ago, things have gotten worse – for Caleb, for Brannan, and for their daughter.

Listen to story
My comment

This is and always has been a huge issue for families. I know because in 1982 I fell in love with a Vietnam veteran. One of the groups I belong to is Point Man International Ministries and they started in 1984, not just helping veterans with Out Post, but helping families with Home Fronts. Families are the front lines and we suffer because they are suffering. We heal when they heal but what is lacking is the knowledge they need to know to cope with all of this. I've been married since 1984, so it is possible if families understand and find support.
read more here

In 2002 I finished my book FOR THE LOVE OF JACK HIS WAR MY BATTLE and republished it last year about finding peace living with combat PTSD. It can be done if families know what it is and what they can do to help veterans heal. We are on the front lines when they come home because we know them better than anyone else. We know what they were like before combat and what changed in them but all too often families have no clue what they seeing. They don't understand so they blame themselves. If they know then they do not take the veterans actions and reactions as personal.

I have worked with families that started out with no knowledge and going through hell because of it. Once they understood it, they moved mountains out of the way to help. I am a firm believer that if more families learned, we would see less suicides, less homelessness and a whole lot of healing going on.

Anyone know a good copyright lawyer?

I tried to fight Xlibris when copies of my book, FOR THE LOVE OF JACK, HIS WAR MY BATTLE were being sold and I was not being paid 8 years ago! I have no idea how the hell this has been going on this long or who is behind it but my book is still for sale under the original cover. It was published in 2002 but the date on the book under this ISBN 1401086918 has the date of 2003.

Basically someone stole my work and has been making money but I have no power to stop them or get the money from them they didn't earn.

If you see this blue cover, it is the illegal one.

This is the republished one on Amazon and I will be paid for this one.  Can't wait to find out what happens when I put this one up on Kindle along with my new book THE WARRIOR SAW, SUICIDES AFTER WAR.  Great lesson for average people with no money and no power.  If you don't have either one in this country, people will just step all over you if they can.

Writers will find readers and make more money going it alone

Off topic sort-of

I was just reading the article about self-publishing and took some comfort in it. Working on the self-imposed deadline of April 15, tax day, has been grueling but THE WARRIOR SAW, SUICIDES AFTER WAR is a labor of love and outrage. While some will think of it as just too damn sad to want to read, they will discover how we ended up with the highest military suicide year on record, all the money spent on trying to "prevent" suicides ended up increasing them and how experts have stated clearly these programs do not work.

If you've been reading Wounded Times over the last couple of months, I've posted some of the outrageous things done and they got away with it while reporters have failed to give this any attention other than repeating what they have been told along with publicizing the wrong data. Shocking! Reporters not doing their jobs! As if that should be anything new to us paying attention to all of this all along and cringing with the email links to crap.

When the last week of March rolled around and Wounded Times broke the million views mark that proved something to me. All the research done on behalf of veterans and families means something. Keep in mind, veterans are only 7% of the population, so while this was shocking to some, they are my base. They are the people this work is geared to and so are my books. Books? Yes, since THE WARRIOR SAW, SUICIDES AFTER WAR is the followup to the FOR THE LOVE OF JACK, HIS WAR/MY BATTLE originally self-published in 2002 and re-released last year on Amazon. It hasn't gone up on Kindle yet since I plan on releasing both on April 15th there.

"The battle to save the lives of combat veterans is not lost and it is not new. 18 veterans and more than one active duty service member take their own lives each day. More attempt it. Kathie Costos is not just a Chaplain helping veterans and their families, not just a researcher, she lives with it everyday. Combat came home with her Vietnam veteran husband and they have been married for 28 years. She remembers what it was like to feel lost and alone. Everything you read in the news today about PTSD is in this book originally published in 2002 to serve as a guide to healing as well as a warning of what was coming for Iraq and Afghanistan veterans."

Barnes and Noble, while they are offering the For the Love of Jack for a huge amount of money even though it has not been for sale for many years, (still trying to figure out how they pulled that one off) still has a couple of reviews from 2003.

PTSD is sadly too common
Kathie's book was amazing. I have PTSD myself and could identify with both her husband and Kathie since I know what my husband has gone through dealing with me and can look back at the worst times. A very insightful account of a family torn apart by PTSD. Help keep the shelter open since proceeds go to help Veterans who are badly in need of help.

His War Her Battle Our Story
In Kathie Costos's groundbreaking new work, 'For the Love of Jack' she documents the life that thousands of families live everyday: living with a Vietnam Veteran who has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In the book, Costos describes the disorder and its effects on family and life through her own experiences. Although PTSD is a disorder that varies from individual to individual, anyone who has seen even the slightest of hints of it can relate to this book. Through the chapters the reader comes to know and love Jack along with his family and ultimately can relate back to veterans of all wars and their struggle with this disorder. Never before have I read anything quite like this. Costos's unique and insightful perspective allows the reader to realize the after effects of war on an individual and on a family that are all to often overlooked. She reminds the reader that, along with the Vietnam Veterans, the families too share in the pain and suffering and describes them eloquently as, 'America's Secret.' I think that anyone who read this book would immediately understand that Vietnam isn¿t just a war or a country but a day to day struggle that all too many families and friends of Vietnam Veterans along with the Veterans themselves continue to battle to this very moment. The subtitle of this piece is His War My Battle. As the proud daughter of a Vietnam Veteran, USMC 1968-1970 I can tell you that its not only His War and Her Battle but Our Story.

That is why this article matters.

Hugh Howey: Self-publishing is the future — and great for writers
Books have changed forever, and that's good. Writers will find readers and make more money going it alone, like me
BY HUGH HOWEY

Contrary to recent reports, I am not the story of self-publishing.

The story of self-publishing is Jan Strnad, a 62-year-old educator hoping to retire in four years. To do so is going to require supplemental income, which he is currently earning from his self-published novels. In 2012, Jan made $11,406.31 from his work. That’s more than double what he made from the same book in the six months it was available from Kensington, a major publisher. He has since released a second work and now makes around $2,000 a month, even though you’ve never heard of him.

Rachel Schurig has sold 100,000 e-books and made six figures last year. She is the story of self-publishing. Rick Gualtieri cleared over $25,000 in 2012 from his writing. He says it’s like getting a Christmas bonus every month. Amanda Brice is an intellectual property attorney for the federal government. In her spare time, she writes teen mysteries and adult romantic comedies. She averages $750 a month with her work.

Like Schurig, Robert J. Crane is quickly moving from midlist to A-list. When Robert shared his earnings with me late last year, his monthly income had gone from $110.29 in June to $13,000+ in November. He was making more in a month than many debut authors are likely to receive as an advance from a major publisher. And he still owned his rights. His earnings have only gone up since.

Right now you are probably thinking that these anecdotes of self-publishing success are the result of my having cherry-picked the winners. In fact, these stories appear in this exact order in my private message inbox over at Kindle Boards. The only sampling bias is that these writers responded to a thread I started titled: “The Self Published Authors I Want to Hear From.” I wanted to know how many forum members were making $100 to $500 a month. My suspicion was that it was more than any of us realized. Every response I received started with a variation of: “I’m actually making a lot more than that.” (click link for more)

I don't do this to write a best seller, not that I could no matter how hard I tried. I am a researcher of PTSD plus live with it everyday and have been helping veterans and their families since 1982. (Yes, I am that old now) When I was a young wife I had no clue what was going on with my husband and that is what started off this over 30 year quest to defeat Combat PTSD.

THE WARRIOR SAW, SUICIDES AFTER WAR, would not have had to be written if what we learned over the last 40 years was perfected instead of seeing billions being spent on what was already proven to be failures.

I don't want to get rich off these books but it would be nice for my charity, Pointman of Winter Park, to not lose a couple of thousand a year when I work an average of ten hours a day seven days a week.

Wounded Times Year End Thank You

Wounded Times Year End Thank You
by Kathie Costos
Wounded Times Blog
December 31, 2012

It has been a crazy, busy, year. In May I finished Valencia College Digital Media Certification. Not bad, ended up with a 3.1 GPA.

The top post this year as well as last year was For Those I Love I will Sacrifice with a total of 35,038 views.

In November I re-released For the Love of Jack, His War/My Battle the book I self published in 2002 trying to warn families about what they were facing with combat and PTSD.

Last month I started a new book, The Warrior SAW, Suicides After War, because of requests from families needing help when someone they love committed suicide. I hope to have it finished next month.

I need your prayers while I get through this because it is emotionally draining.

Up until I was done with college, I didn't want to ask for donations because it just didn't seem right.

In August, I finally received my tax exempt from the State of Florida and was able to start getting donations. Up until then, all the work I did, the travel, equipment, food, phone and everything else was coming out of my husband's pocket. Usually it runs between $1,000 and $2,000 a month depending on how much traveling I have to do. While this is really low for a charity, what I do does not cost much at all, but when you are talking about taking the money out of your personal budget, it hurts!

Donations for 2012

August 24, 2012

Lenny $25.00

August 25, 2012

Rofkens $20.00

August 26, 2012

Fearless $10.00

Theresa $50.00

August 27, 2012

John $10.00

August 28, 2012

Ed and Sue $50.00

Veterans Multi-purpose Center $100.00

Thomas $25.00

September 4, 2012

Ivy $25.00

Aaron $50.00

September 18, 2012

VFW $1,000

October 13, 2012

Judith, $10.00

November 2, 2012

Richard $50.00

November 12, 2012

Kim $20.00

November 13, 2012

Steve $100.00

November 14, 2012

Michael and Patricia $200.00

November 27, 3012

Brian $20.00

December 6, 2012

Lenny $20.00

December 16, 2012

Nam Knights $200.00

This is what your money helped me do and I thank you very much for your support. You helped all of these groups get some attention for the work they are doing.

Videos filmed for veterans around Central Florida for 2012

January 22
Stunt Show Motorcycle Crash
Orlando Bikers Against Child Abuse
February 3
Memorial Service for John Michael Barrett
February 7
WWII Four Chaplains Service
February 12
WWII Montford Point Marine
February 22
Veterans Walk of Honor
March 8
Memorial Service for Daniel Hurley
March 10
DAV Dinner for Wounded Warriors
March 10
Nam Knights Bike Week Party
Dannis Bish
April 12
Three Wounded Veterans
April 15
Orlando Marines Come Home
April 18
Dannis Bish Memorial Service
April 19
MOMS
April 22
Vietnam Wall Escort
April 29
Guitarists Plays With One Hand
April 29
Veterans Reunion
May 7
Medal of Honor Sammy Davis
Combat? Talk About It
Nam Knights Homes For Our Troops Fundraiser
MOH Sammy Davis Shenandoah
May 27
Ocoee Memorial Day
May 28
Vietnam War Museum Memorial Day
May 31
Glen Haven Memorial Day
June 17
Orlando DAV Volunteers
DAV Convention Candy Man
Member of the Year Award I ended up filming myself getting the Auxiliary Award
June 23
Home Depot Helps DAV
June 28
VFW Military Awards
July 18
Orlando DAV New Officers
July 22
Rebel Rider Magazine Anniversary
July 28
Funeral for Capt. Bruce MacFarlane
August 7
Purple Heart Day
August 18
Lukas Nursery Butterfly Encounter about Spiritual Healing
August 29
DAV Van Dedication
September 15
Orlando Marines Fundraiser
Orlando US Navy Chief Petty Officers
September 23
Renewal of Vows Ambush
October 18
Nam Knights Memorial Dannis Bish
Nam Knights Memorial Eternal Chapter
November 11
Healing PTSD with Horse Power
November 18
Giving Thanks for Veterans
December 8
Coast Guard Fill the Boat
December 16
Coast Guard Fill the Boat Wrap Up
December 22
Brothers in Bras

Videos created for 2012


All of these videos from this year, as well as videos done going back to 2006, were all done for free! The donations above, while deeply appreciated, were not enough to cover the cost of going to these events during the year. The editing program to turn footage into videos is $2,500. Camera equipment along with everything else is very expensive. My car is getting old on top of everything else, so if you want to see more veterans events covered next year, I'm counting on you to carry me through!

Remember, your donations are tax deductible and also cover spiritual counseling I do with veterans and their families.

Wounded Times Book of Revelations on PTSD

Wounded Times Book of Revelations on PTSD
by Kathie Costos
Wounded Times Blog
December 27, 2012

This morning I read a comment from a member of Point Man Ministries about my blog on Facebook. I responded with this.

"Thank you very much! I appreciate your support. Sometimes it feels as if I am like John of Patmos, alone out here in the wilderness with much to say but few know."

I kept reading my emails when I read how the VA has admitted they have underreported the number of veterans being treated for PTSD.

VA UNDERCOUNTED AFGHANISTAN AND IRAQ WAR VETERAN PTSD CASES
Nextgov.com
By Bob Brewin
December 26, 2012

The Veterans Affairs Department has undercounted the number of Afghanistan and Iraq war veterans seeking care over the past decade for post-traumatic stress disorder by 10,299 cases or roughly 4 percent, the VA acknowledged in a revised June 2012 report. The department posted the revised report Dec. 12 on a public health website not linked to its main website.

The revised report said the department relied on an improperly constructed patient data file that omitted three months of data in the original report.

The new report shows 256,820 Afghanistan and Iraq veterans sought care for PTSD at VA hospitals and veterans centers from 2002 through 2012 based on an underlying, revised report of 834,467 Afghanistan and Iraq veterans who obtained health care from the VA for a variety of conditions over the past 10 years.

This puts the number of veterans of the Afghanistan and Iraq wars seeking care for PTSD at roughly 30 percent of the total number who sought health care. The overall, revised health care report shows 444,451 or 53.3 percent of the total sought mental health care, which includes treatment for PTSD, depression, psychoses, alcohol and drug abuse, over the past 10 years.
read more here

While that may seem like huge news to many people, it hasn't been to readers of Wounded Times Blog. I am sure the bloggers out there will end up just copying the article and posting on it. They do it all the time no matter if the report is a good one or not and this revelation will be treated as if it is shocking news. It is not to me.

Revelation 1 19 “Write, therefore, what you have seen, what is now and what will take place later.

I posted Battlemind should be surrendered on February 10, 2008 because I knew it would not work. It didn't. What followed this failure was Resilience Training, sold as a program to prevent PTSD. It tells service members they can "train their brains to be mentally tough" and in the process leaves the false impression they won't end up with PTSD unless they are mentally weak and didn't train right.

The number of suicides and attempted suicides increasing support my position. The number of veterans being diagnosed with PTSD support my position. The problem is, I've been screaming from Patmos and few heard my voice. Among the over 17,000 on this blog, there is this revelation.

Expect 800,000 PTSD veterans out of Iraq and Afghanistan
October 14, 2007

Iraq veterans deserve more than post-combat negligence
By Stacy Bannerman
Special to The Times

WHEN the appalling conditions at Walter Reed Army Medical Center were made public, accompanied by grim photos of moldy walls, crumbling ceilings and dirty, bug-infested rooms, it sparked a national outcry and immediate action. Unfortunately, it has been comparatively quiet about the nearly 300 Iraq war veterans who have committed suicide, and thousands more who have attempted it.

America cannot afford the price of failing to care for veterans with combat-related mental-health problems. The systemic breakdown in mental-health care is so profound that military families and veterans groups have filed lawsuits against the Department of Veterans Affairs. Veterans for Common Sense and Veterans United for Truth have filed a class-action suit on behalf of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans who are dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The suit claims there are as many as "800,000 Iraq and Afghanistan veterans said to suffer or risk developing PTSD." The groups charge the VA with collaborating with the Pentagon to avoid paying PTSD benefits.

Last year, it was about 400,000 we were worried about. The beginning of this year, it was 700,000 we were worried about. Now add in at least 100,000 more. Why? Are you shocked? You shouldn't be and the government shouldn't be either. After all it was already predicted in 1978 when the DAV commissioned a study showing Vietnam produced 500,000 diagnosed cases, as well as acknowledging the numbers would rise as more information came out and the symptoms of PTSD grew stronger. Even back then they knew PTSD did not always show up right away. So why is it no one was ready for what was to come now? They didn't care.

It needs to be pointed out as much as possible that when the Army did their own study finding the redeployments increased the risk of developing PTSD by 50%, this should have sounded a shrieking warning bell across the country and emergency measures should have been driven in overdrive, but no one did anything about it. As a matter of fact, the Bush administration cut back funding, along with Nicholson, in 2005, with two occupations producing more wounded minds daily. To have their lives still at risk after their tours have ended is sickening, is wrong, and there is absolutely no excuse for any of this appalling lack of preparedness. You would think that a nation able to fund hundreds of billions of dollars over and over again on emergency basis, would be able to place the same sense of urgency when it comes to saving their lives, their futures and their families, but they do not. You would think that knowing what the experts have been saying all along would hold more weight than rhetoric and slogans when it comes to the seriousness of this, but it didn't. The problem is they didn't think and they didn't care enough to think about any of our troops or what would happen to them when they became veterans or wounded veterans needing care.

But this was not the first warning I gave. There were many blogs and websites I had going back years. The strongest warning I gave came in 2002 when I published my book, For the Love of Jack, His War/My Battle. I wrote it before September 11, 2001 but could not find a publisher. After 9-11, I knew I had to do all I could to warn people what was coming as much as I needed to offer hope to the veterans and their families.

So when you read how shocking the news is on our veterans and PTSD, know that none of it had to happen if people with the power had known what I knew way back then.

Give healing PTSD as a Christmas Gift this year

Give healing PTSD as a Christmas Gift this year
by Kathie Costos
Wounded Times Blog
December 12, 2012

This morning I opened an email from a woman telling me of her life with her Vietnam Veteran father and what the family went through. Her Dad ended his own life committing suicide days after September 11, 2001. He became part of my greatest fears coming true. Her Dad was one of the reasons I self published my book For the Love of Jack, His War/My Battle because by then I knew what was coming for Vietnam Veterans and their families. The book was finished and I spent over a year trying to find a publisher, but PTSD was not big news and few cared about Vietnam veterans.

When was finished, I was not thinking about troops being sent into Afghanistan or Iraq because 9-11 hadn't happened yet. All I was thinking about was families like mine. They needed to know what I learned just as an average person trying to keep my husband alive and my family together living lives too many others suffered in silence with believing no one else could understand.

By 2002 the troops were in Afghanistan for several months yet the government had not prepared for what combat would do to those we sent or to warn their families ahead of time so they could prepare for homecomings all over the country. I revised the book to add in 9-11 and the troops in Afghanistan along with talk of sending them into Iraq.

A few years later I released it for free on my old website so that no one had to pay for it. Back then I had a paycheck from a job and was doing ok financially. Plus the goal of the book was not to make money but to make families heal. That is still my goal but since I have a non-profit few people offer financial support. That doesn't bother me as much as the fact I am contacted too many times by families after their veterans have committed suicide and face writing another book about something that didn't have to happen.

In 2007 I started this blog and tried to warn families of what was coming.
When war comes home, battle begins for spouse

"When they come home from combat with the horrors imbedded in them, it is often up to the wives or husbands to begin the fighting. We have to fight for them to get help at the same time we fight them to understand they need help. Denial is the first battle. The mood swings and detachment plant the idea it's our fault in the backs of our own minds as we try to understand what's happening. Short term memory loss and poor judgement skills turn us into parents having to watch every move they make. This is what happens when they come home with wounded minds. Can there be any wonder why so many of these marriages fall apart? Most of them crumble like burnt toast when the facts about PTSD are unknown to them. A lot of marriages with Vietnam veterans ended because of this and because so little was known when they came home.

As much as I love my own husband, as much as I learned about PTSD over the last 25 years, our marriage nearly fell apart more times than I can even remember. The frustration of it all becomes too much too often even now. Our marriage license is in half English and half Greek. I tell my husband the adoption orders are on the Greek side of it when I feel as if I am no longer a married woman but a parent to a child 8 years older than me. I was a single parent in all the years of taking control, making sure the government took care of their responsibility to my husband. This is our job.

We become caretakers, nursing their wounds, holding their shaking bodies, comforting their broken image of themselves and trying with all our might to reassure them they are still loved and needed. We adjust to daily prayers of healing as Jesus instantaneously healed the mad man; for patience; for restoration of compassion when self-needs get too strong; for the right words to use when logic is not enough to combat illogic; and above all for the ability to be reassured the person we love is still in there beneath the stranger we see with our eyes.

As spouses take control, we also face financial disasters while claims are "being processed" only to be turned down and appeals have to be filed within the deadlines we have to live with but the VA does not. Employment for these veterans is sporadic at best, but bills are constant. Then there is the astronomical cost of the self-medication they turn to with alcohol and drugs. We loose time at work when they were up all night with nightmares or to take them to the VA for appointments because they cannot bring themselves in the beginning. We loose time at work when we have to take them for hearings and to see the service organizations helping with the claims because they cannot manage to get themselves there without us.

All of this at the same time we have to try to keep hope alive in them, reassure them that truth will win and their claim will be approved so that we can at least keep our homes and pay our bills. We also loose income when their jobs are lost. The income they get from the VA, if and when their claims are finally honored, is a lot less than they would make, along with our own loss of income. We had to have several mortgage "forbearance" arrangements to keep our house, borrowed from family, at the same time I had to work more to keep the roof over our heads. This was a lot of fun when I had to worry about our daughter and my husband needing constant supervision. A tiny crisis left him unable to think often. One time a toilet was overflowing. He called me at work in a panic, not knowing what to do, instead of just shutting off the water flow to the tank and using a plunger, which he had done often before. It was just one of those days for him to face.

We are a huge Army of love, fighting for those who risked their lives but forgotten behind the battle lines. Each day is a new experience. I tell my husband there is never a dull moment in our marriage because I never know what to expect. Sometimes he even surprises himself. Most of the worst days are far behind us. We have adjusted to our own sense of what "normal" is and most days, they are good days. We still have times when my frustration reaches its limit and we have a huge argument, but over the years, they happen a lot less. I learned to deal with the fact he has to recheck the door I just locked and the repeated questions I've already answered twelve times before.

We had our 23 anniversary last month. Marriages do not have to end if the tools are available. That's why I've been working so hard all these years. I'm positive that if I didn't know what PTSD was, there is no way I would be able to cope with any of this. Life does not have to be about existing day to day, but living lives with tiny blessings. It can be about holding hands wherever we go because we held onto our hearts. Yes, we still hold hands!

(Honesty time; I get a little mean every now and then. His short term memory loss opens the door for a little mind game I play every now and then. I will remind him of a conversation we really did have and then toss in something we never talked about. We've gone out to eat a lot because I convince him he promised to take me out. While we're eating, I admit what I did. He laughs and then hands me the bill.)

If you are dealing with a combat veteran with PTSD, learn all you can about it and welcome to this Army of love. The war we fight for them now, will never end, but battles can be won and peace can be declared within our own homes."

In October of 2007 news came out that 148,000 Vietnam Vets sought help in last 18 months
Back then my PTSD videos were on Google and YouTube.

I started doing videos in February of 2006. Is this a coincidence? From the emails I get, it is part of it. It was the goal anyway.

When War Comes Home PTSD
views 2418


Veterans and PTSD version 1
All time views:14,283

Wounded Minds Veterans and PTSD version 2
1567

Wounded Minds PTSD and Veterans version 3
7777

PTSD After Trauma on Google
1709

End The Silence of PTSD on Youtube
Views: 2,919

Hero After War Combat Vets and PTSD on Google
3697
Views: 1,772 on Youtube

Coming Out of The Dark of PTSD on Google
889

Coming Out Of The Dark-PTSD and Veterans on Youtube
Views: 4,304

Death Because They Served PTSD Suicides
1442

These videos are all available on Great Americans at the above tab.

When I think of what was known so long ago emails make me cry because I know the pain all too well but I also know the joy of living with a healing veteran once the darkness of PTSD has been defeated. He is not cured but he is healing and we've been married 28 years. This month marks the 30th anniversary of my work on combat and PTSD. Over half my life has been dedicated to this cause.

If you know someone going through this, give them a Christmas gift that can help them heal. Let them know they are not alone. The price is only $10.00 so that people can afford to buy it.

Authors are now responsible to find their work was just taken?

Authors beware of this site.Docstoc.com

Stunned to find out that my book was on this site and I didn't know about it. I emailed them last week and told them to take it down. They sent me back a form letter but I was not about to read it since I was so angry. Low and behold it turned out the letter said I had to go to a link on their site and file a remove request.

I saw it still up today and was furious. This time I did to the online request but still was not satisfied so I searched for a phone number. The only number I could find was after I signed into the site and it was to customer service. I asked them what made them think they could just take someone else's book and put it up on their site. Then I was told something that shocked me.

They said they get submissions from members and have no control over what they upload. The woman said it was up to authors to ask for the work to be taken down and they were more than willing to do it.

The problem here is that authors would have to do what? Check obscure sites to make sure no one just decided they could do whatever they wanted with their work?

There are literally thousands of writers out there just like me without agents and lawyers to sue sites like this. We work just as hard as "real authors" with an army standing behind them but we don't have anyone to back us up.

I wrote the book 10 years ago to help families like mine when no one was talking about PTSD and families of veterans. I had it for free up on my old website but I guess someone decided they had the right to just take it and put it up on their own site.

Nice work and I hope God rewards them for doing something like this and then telling me it was my responsibility to find out they did it.

Finding Peace With Combat PTSD

In 2002 I self published For the Love of Jack so that families like mine would not have to learn the hard way how to find peace living with Combat PTSD. Everything I was afraid of happened.

Suicides and attempted suicides went up. Families fell apart. Older veterans realized they did not escape Vietnam as much as they thought they did. Newer veterans came home to the same issues all generations faced before them but as millions of dollars were spent every year, charity after charity collected more and more money, they went without the help they needed.

The book is no online again after being provided for free on my old website.

If you want an inside look at what was known so long ago, read my book and then you'll know that nothing is impossible. They can heal and so can their families if they are finally told what they needed to know.

You can also watch my videos on the above link to Great Americans to help you understand what it took 30 years for me to learn.

For the Love of Jack His War/My Battle: Finding Peace With Combat PTSD
Authored by Kathie Costos
List Price: $10.00
6" x 9" (15.24 x 22.86 cm)
Black & White on Cream paper
268 pages
ISBN-13: 978-1481082570 (CreateSpace-Assigned)
ISBN-10: 1481082574
BISAC: Biography and Autobiography / Military

The battle to save the lives of combat veterans is not lost and it is not new. 18 veterans and more than one active duty service member take their own lives each day. More attempt it.

Kathie Costos is not just a Chaplain helping veterans and their families, not just a researcher, she lives with it everyday. Combat came home with her Vietnam veteran husband and they have been married for 28 years.

She remembers what it was like to feel lost and alone.

Everything you read in the news today about PTSD is in this book originally published in 2002 to serve as a guide to healing as well as a warning of what was coming for Iraq and Afghanistan veterans.

If you see a link this book with a different cover, it is not a legal copy. It was pulled from the original publisher years ago.

Save Kathie Costos so she can save them

Save me so I can save them
by Chaplain Kathie
Wounded Times Blog
November 13, 2012

While you read the stories I track everyday, I read emails from veterans and families. I read emails from psychologists and social workers, groups and most of the time from families involved in stories you read here all the time.

What you don't read about are the lives I have saved, families able to stay together because they have finally been informed about what they really needed to know.

In 2002 I self published For the Love of Jack because I knew so many other families would go through the hell we survived. I wait 3 years hoping and praying for the money to come it to be able to do this work full time. I worked for a pay check and did this work when I could.

In 2005, I gave up waiting and put the book online for free. Here are just two of the first emails I received when I did that.

From a female Vietnam Veteran in July 2005

Dear Kathie,

Thank you for sharing your life and wisdom in For The Love of Jack. I must also thank you for sharing it through the internet.

I admit to you that I had not initially sought out this information. It was forwarded to me yesterday by my good friend Edward. I started the book last night, didn't sleep very well, too many thoughts on the matter at hand, woke up this morning, made a lighter and quicker breakfast fare than usual only so that I could get back to your story.

Being forty-eight years of age I do share most of your pre-Jack memories of Vietnam, especially the news reports at dinner time, it was a pretty horrific time in our lives. I'm ashamed to admit that Vietnam was a memory that I had set aside.

I had heard some talk of PTSD, it only came to light with 9/11. I had also heard of "shell shock" but again, it seemed like a distant memory of something that happened to people back in WWII. In my ignorance I thought that it was caused by a physical manifestation - like shrapnel or a head injury having been it's cause.

Your book enlightened me in more ways than you can imagine. I wish these living angels could sprout wings so that we would know them when we see them, so that we could revere and thank them and treat them with the fullest respect and dignity that they so deserve.

Then again, you should have sprouted a set of wings, too!

From a Vietnam Veteran December 2005

I came across a Web-site and I enjoyed what you had written there. I am a Veteran Vietnam 1967-69. I know what it is like to be married to a Vietnam Veteran. I have two ex.-wife's neither of whom can say I ever abused them. I think the word normal is something Vets don't have. My last two wife's still love me either can sleep in the same bed with me. So they now sleep in the bed of someone else. I have a knew wife of a year and she has moved to the couch.

She I think she is afraid, I might died during the night.

I do love her very, very much so I respect her need to sleep on the couch. I have got the works, heart problems, Sugar, PTSD a whole list. I go out and work everyday I can to take care of her and would not have it any other way. My problem I just don't no how mush longer I can hang in there.

I have been fighting with the Veterans Administration since 2001 to get help. Last Dec. I manage finally to get some help. I was homeless for three years after 2001. I would work and could only make enough money to eat and buy my smokes. I was refused care by four Veterans Hospitals during that time. So, I know what you have been through. I know in your heart your a good person. You not only tried, but you kept tiring. Most women just take the money and run!

Thank you Kathie for hanging in there with yourVet, heaven has a place for you waiting.

Hundreds of emails later and very little money in donations, I ended up having to give up my website because I couldn't afford it anymore. The fact is that more and more families have come to me for help and while I have saved lives, the people I help cannot afford to make a donation and to tell you the truth, I am not going to ask them when they are going through hell.

Imagine for a second what that has been like for me. I can't pay my own bills. Do you know what it is like to go to bed every night not knowing how you're going to make it one day to the next with the voices of families falling apart in your head?

I keep asking for help but few have thought what I do is worth even a small donation.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is not new but while the media is now talking about it and others are coming out all over the country, making millions a year doing very little, I work 7 days a week at least 10 hours a day. I can't afford publicity like some of the major groups out there even though what they are doing is less than I do everyday. They just have a great PR firm standing behind them. This is not about money. This is about doing the work that I am compelled to do.

I can't do it without your support! If you read Wounded Times and think it is of value, then please support it. If you cannot donate, then please pass it on to others you know. Subscribe to it so that when Google puts up ads I'll get paid more than a couple of dollars a day.

You can donate by clicking the link to PayPal and here's the info

POINTMAN INTERNATIONAL MINISTRIES
Pointman of Winter Park
IRS #90-0749457
FLORIDA CH36936


You can mail a check to
Pointman of Winter Park
PO Box 196992
Winter Springs FL 32719-6992


If you are not there for me, I can't be there for them!

I just discovered that the book in online for free from another site and requested it be removed. If people are reading it for free again, then no one will donate for it.

From Barnes and Noble reviews FOR THE LOVE OF JACK HIS WAR MY BATTLE

Anonymous
Posted September 3, 2003
PTSD is sadly too common
Kathie's book was amazing. I have PTSD myself and could identify with both her husband and Kathie since I know what my husband has gone through dealing with me and can look back at the worst times. A very insightful account of a family torn apart by PTSD. Help keep the shelter open since proceeds go to help Veterans who are badly in need of help.

Anonymous
Posted July 8, 2003
His War Her Battle Our Story
In Kathie Costos's groundbreaking new work, 'For the Love of Jack' she documents the life that thousands of families live everyday: living with a Vietnam Veteran who has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In the book, Costos describes the disorder and its effects on family and life through her own experiences. Although PTSD is a disorder that varies from individual to individual, anyone who has seen even the slightest of hints of it can relate to this book. Through the chapters the reader comes to know and love Jack along with his family and ultimately can relate back to veterans of all wars and their struggle with this disorder. Never before have I read anything quite like this. Costos's unique and insightful perspective allows the reader to realize the after effects of war on an individual and on a family that are all to often overlooked. She reminds the reader that, along with the Vietnam Veterans, the families too share in the pain and suffering and describes them eloquently as, 'America's Secret.' I think that anyone who read this book would immediately understand that Vietnam isn't just a war or a country but a day to day struggle that all too many families and friends of Vietnam Veterans along with the Veterans themselves continue to battle to this very moment. The subtitle of this piece is His War My Battle. As the proud daughter of a Vietnam Veteran, USMC 1968-1970 I can tell you that its not only His War and Her Battle but Our Story.

VETERANS MULTI-PURPOSE CENTER WISHES TO RECONIZE A WIFE OF A VIETNAM VETERAN

I am delighted that I will finally get to meet my friends on the 10th!

ON THIS VETERANS DAY 2012 THE VETERANS MULTI-PURPOSE CENTER WISHES TO RECONIZE A WIFE OF A VIETNAM VETERAN AND THE WOMAN BEHIND A TON OF WORK BEING DONE FOR VETERANS HERE IN FLORIDA. WE ARE PROUD TO ATTEST TO THE GREAT WORK OF OUR GOOD FRIEND KATHY COSTOS.

She is the creator of "The Wounded Times Blog" and the author of the book "For the Love of Jack" She is located here in Florida and her story is printed on her web site but, there is much more to this woman and her dedication to all veterans. At a time when our nations economy is suffering, we need to realize non-profit organizations suffer as well.

We must do what we can to strengthen these organizations who provide the much needed help. No, the Wounded Times Blog is not a large nationally known organization with expensive adds pleading for money on the television. No, this is one person behind the effort to help educate veterans and their families what PTSD is and how to live with it.

This is from someone who knows better than most, the anguish and despair this combat related disorder can cause. As a non-profit organization ourselves, we know all to well the struggle involved in funding the work we all do. However, we can't let this effort by Kathie Costos go un-noticed and un-funded.

Please go to the web site Wounded Times Blog We challenge all veterans and veterans organizations to MAKE A DONATION and let her know you support the work she is doing, WE HAVE!

Everything we're seeing on Combat PTSD is in this book

Everything we're seeing on Combat PTSD is in this book
by Chaplain Kathie
Wounded Times Blog
October 31, 2012

In 2002 I tried to warn veterans and their families about what they were getting into when they came home from combat. I was right. Everything we're seeing is in this book. Now you can know what was known way back then.

I need help to be able to help veterans and their families! I am stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. While I started working with veterans and their families long before most people, I am now last on the list for support.

I am taking care of families and out of my mind busy doing what I love but I am also flat broke. If I find a job to support what I do, I won't be able to do it as much as needed. If I don't find financial support, or a job, I won't be able to do any of this anymore.

After 30 years of working on PTSD and what it does to the veterans and their families, I am an expert. When it comes to raising funds to do it, consider me stupid. I stepped up when families needed me, now I need someone to step up and help me to continue doing it.

Will you help me by making a donation and passing on this plea for help?

Make a donation in any amount and get an ebook of FOR THE LOVE OF JACK, HIS WAR/MY BATTLE.

Point Man of Winter Park is a 501c3

Courage and Combat PTSD

Courage and Combat PTSD
by Chaplain Kathie
Wounded Times Blog
October 21, 2012


During and interview with Union Squared Studio for a promo on my book, FOR THE LOVE OF JACK HIS WAR/MY BATTLE we talked about one of the issues I have with the DOD. These young men and women are getting the wrong message on resiliency and what it actually is.

Being resilient comes after trauma and only comes with the right kind of help.


I have faced death in "normal" life as a civilian many times. For years as I tried to help veterans, I was also searching for that one thing that prevented me from ending up with PTSD. We all know that one event in our lifetime can alter everything, yet after many of them from the time I was 4 until well into my adult life, I made peace with each time.

The answer for making me resilient was talking about it as soon as it happened and not stopping until I was done talking. Stop dying a slow death and start living is the best message I can give and it can be done but first you have to understand "you" and all that comes with you.

I have never been in combat but for all these years of talking to veterans the simple fact that unites every human is the ability to understand yourself especially when abnormal things happen. Soldiers and Marines say that they didn't train right and then they blame themselves for PTSD thinking they were mentally weak. They didn't see how strong they actually were when even with all that pain inside of them, they pushed on, did their duty, risked their lives many more times, until they were all out of danger. That is when they allow themselves to "feel" it.

Listen to what I say in this video and then think about what it was like after the first time you faced something horrible during your deployment. Think about what it felt like during it. Think about how much pain you were in but then remind yourself that even if you wondered and worried about your own life, you worried about the men you were with.

That's one of the parts most of you forget about. PTSD didn't happen to you because you are "mentally weak" but because your courage and compassion made you care enough to act. That is not weakness. That, that comes from strength of character.

Stop dying a slow death, start healing

Stop dying a slow death, start healing
by Chapalain Kathie
Wounded Times Blog
October 18, 2012

TO COMBAT VETERANS
Have you ever had a cut that just wouldn't heal? You wait for it to get better. You may put a bandaid on it thinking it won't get worse as you go back to doing what you always do. Day after day, you change the bandaid. It isn't getting better. It is getting worse. Then you discover it is worse than you thought. It is infected. While you waited for it to get better, it got stronger and spread.

Well, that's PTSD when you leave it alone, hoping it will just go away. Bandaids like have a few drinks, or a lot of them, only numb the pain you refuse to face. Pushing people away from you makes it worse. Trying to make sense out of what you're doing to them ends up with you blaming them because you don't want to face the truth within yourself. You need help but you may not believe you deserve it more than you think you don't need it.

Trying to convince yourself you'll get over it isn't the worst part. That comes when you believe you'll never get over it. It is eating away at you. You may think there is an answer for you, so you search but each day you are left without finding what you need, hope is slipping away. Giving up on finding it is dying a slow death as PTSD takes over more and more of your life.

The worst part in all of this is that it is also hurting your family. The people you love don't know what to do to help you. They don't know what you need. They don't know what you are going through so they're looking for reasons and bandaids just as much as you are. You may be pulling away so much you actually get what you want and they walk away. Is that what you really want? Is that what you had in mind when you were heading home from Iraq or Afghanistan? Or from Kuwait? Or from Vietnam? Or any other country you were sent to?

No, you thought you'd just go home and get over it, pick up where you left off. That delusion was fed by bullshit. No veteran has ever come home from combat unchanged. Everyone changes by events no matter what they say. Some are changed more than others for one, simple reason. Their ability to feel things more deeply. If you can love more deeply, care more deeply, then you can hurt more deeply, so you just better face that fact so that you can stop the bullshit and get busy. Stop dying a slow death and start healing.

For the families out there, you better decide if you want to fight for them or let them go. Do you really want to walk away from them? Don't you want to live the rest of your life with them the way you did when you got married? They are still in there. Everything you loved about them is still there but there is a lot of pain hiding them from you.

This is what it looks like from the inside of a family living with combat PTSD. You're looking right at it. I wrote a book 10 years ago about living with it before all the reports about PTSD and suicides came out. None of this is new and none of this is impossible. You may never be "cured" but you can heal enough so that you start living again and stop just waiting to die or looking for a way to do it.

I don't want to have a conversation with your family when it is too late to save your life. I've had too many of them already and their biggest regret is, no one told them what they needed to hear. They blame themselves for it. Do you really want to put them through that?

FOR THE LOVE OF JACK, HIS WAR/MY BATTLE gives you an idea of what it is like for the veterans as much as it gives veterans a clue what it is like for their families. Time to learn what I tried 10 years to tell you about.


If you're not into reading, then go to the top of this blog and watch some of the videos. You should learn enough to at least stop blaming yourself for what is happening to you and start putting on antibiotic to heal.

Thank you for sharing your life and wisdom in For The Love of Jack

How did I go from this,

July 20, 2005

Dear Kathie,

Thank you for sharing your life and wisdom in For The Love of Jack. I must also thank you for sharing it through the internet.

I admit to you that I had not initially sought out this information. It was forwarded to me yesterday by my good friend Edward XXXXXX. I started the book last night, didn't sleep very well, too many thoughts on the matter at hand, woke up this morning, made a lighter and quicker breakfast fare than usual only so that I could get back to your story.

Being forty-eight years of age I do share most of your pre-Jack memories of Vietnam, especially the news reports at dinner time, it was a pretty horrific time in our lives. I'm ashamed to admit that Vietnam was a memory that I had set aside.

I had heard some talk of PTSD, it only came to light with 9/11. I had also heard of "shell shock" but again, it seemed like a distant memory of something that happened to people back in WWII. In my ignorance I thought that it was caused by a physical manifestation - like shrapnel or a head injury having been it's cause.

Your book enlightened me in more ways than you can imagine. I wish these living angels could sprout wings so that we would know them when we see them, so that we could revere and thank them and treat them with the fullest respect and dignity that they so deserve.

Then again, you should have sprouted a set of wings, too!

With love and continued healing and blessings to you and yours,
Elaine

August 4, 2005

Hello Kathy - I was just about to contact you. Late Tuesday afternoon, Bobby XXXX, our PTSD Unit Case Manager completed his review of the book (I've inserted his comment below) We just wanted to allow our internal case managers an opportunity to review before placing online. Now, in terms of formatting, how would you like the book to be placed on the website? In Adobe or some other format? We are now in the process of revising our website and over the next two weeks will have a lot of new information going online, at that time, we will also place your book online. Do we need to have any formal agreements from you in order to do this? Anything else you want to let me know about? Just let me know. Thanks again Kathy.

Here is Bob XXXX comment

Hi Stephen,I put a little more into Kathie's book.It'll be especially helpful to significant others or those affected by secondary ptsd,up close or from distances.She makes it easy for the readers who need to grasp closure as well as those who quietly need to know.

December 20, 2005
Dear Mrs., Costos

I came across a Web-site and I enjoyed what you had written there. I am a Veteran Vietnam 1967-69. I know what it is like to be married to a Vietnam Veteran. I have two ex.-wife's neither of whom can say I ever abused them. I think the work normal is something Vets don't have. My last two wife's still love me either can sleep in the same bed with me. So they now sleep in the bed of someone else. I have a knew wife of a year and she has moved to the couch.

She I think she is afraid, I might died during the night. I do love her very, very much so I respect her need to sleep on the couch. I have got the works, heart problems, Sugar, PTSD a whole list. I go out and work everyday I can to take care of her and would not have it any other way. My problem I just don't no how mush longer I can hang in there.

I have been fighting with the Veterans Administration since 2001 to get help. Last Dec. I manage finally to get some help. I was homeless for three years after 2001. I would work and could only make enough money to eat and buy my smokes. I was refused care by four Veterans Hospitals during that time. So, I know what you have been through. I know in your heart your a good person. You not only tried, but you kept tiring. Most women just take the money and run!

Thank you Kathie for hanging in there with yourVet, heaven has a place for you waiting.

Thank you again, To be kind is ever so wise !
Your Friend,
The Rose

to not being able to pay my bills?

What really gets to me now is that being right way back then has left me being last on support. Organizations spending most of their money on raising more funds have taken the spotlight away from people way ahead of them on the work, so they can turn around and claim they are now doing what has been done all along.

When I think of how many people I've reached over the years, my heart breaks because I could have reached so many more but was not given a chance because I didn't have financial support or even enough people passing on what I do. That was the whole point of doing this and will be the point of doing all of this tomorrow.

If you cannot find it in your heart to support what I do financially, can you send the link to my work to people you know? If you cannot do either one for me, then can you send a prayer that someone else will?

Tenth Anniversary of For the Love of Jack, His War/My Battle

Tenth Anniversary of For the Love of Jack, His War/My Battle

Ten years ago I self published For The Love Of Jack, His War/My Battle about living with Combat PTSD. I wanted to help other veterans and their families by talking about what was still a secret war going on when men and women came home from war.

It was finished and I was looking for a publisher when September 11th came. I rushed to have it self-publised. You can read more about this on the above link. To make a long story short, there is so much we knew back then that there are no excuses for what is not being done today. When you read it, you'll know what I mean.

I hope it helps you to understand a few things.

First, it is not hopeless and it does not have to win.
Families can stay together and help each other heal.
Older wives like me can help the younger generation learn what it took us 40 years to understand, in my case, 30 years.
That family members need just as much support living with Combat PTSD as the veteran does. Families are on the front line of this and it is up to us to fight for them when they come home.
Above all this, the need for spiritual healing since PTSD is a wound to the soul.

I don't just study PTSD and report it on my blog. I live with it everyday. I've seen the darkest days losing hope but I've also seen my wonderful husband come out on the other side of darkness. Sadly as you'll read in the book, his nephew did not make it and took his own life. His death was one of the reasons I decided to fight even harder to make sure there were more healing and less dying.

With the reports of 18 veterans suicides per day and an average of one military member committing suicide, it breaks my heart knowing none of this had to happen and I couldn't get anyone with the authority to do anything about it to listen.

For all the talk about June being PTSD Awareness Month, it seemed only right to release this work at the end of the month.

Thousands of soldiers return to long search for 'normal'

When I wrote my book For the Love of Jack self published in 2002, I wrote how our lives took on a "new normal" because living with PTSD is not part of the "normal" world most live in. Then again, most people are not combat veterans. What is "normal" for most people is not normal for veterans. How could it ever be? These men and women lived in a world few of others will ever know. Civilians do not know what it is like to have bombs blowing up, bullets being fired at them or what it is like to see a friend killed. We don't know what it is like even when we are married to a veteran but we know what all they went through does to them.
The fact PTSD is a normal reaction to the abnormal world of combat makes living with the aftermath normal for us. No matter if they return with full blown PTSD, mild PTSD or not, they come home changed. Every event in a person's life will change them to some degree. No one returns from combat unchanged.
Read the book and then see that while Iraq and Afghanistan are different from Vietnam, what the veterans and their families go through is not different. What is available is new and wonderful. The media reports open up a window to what was once a deep secret. As more and more veterans talk about the aftermath of combat, more and more will seek help to heal as well. As families like mine talk about successful marriages and what can be done to help, more will stay together and stop feeling hopeless. We celebrated our 26th anniversary last September. I can assure you that none of this is hopeless.

Thousands of soldiers return to long search for 'normal'
BACH upgrades staff, services for 101st Airborne
BY JAKE LOWARY • THE LEAF-CHRONICLE • JANUARY 30, 2011


For the last year, more than 15,000 soldiers of the 101st Airborne Division have been fighting hard on the front lines in Afghanistan.

Many have been involved in heavy combat, witnessing death and injury firsthand.

Soon they will come home, where life is relatively normal by the standards of American masses. They will be thrust back into the lives they left behind as fast as they were thrust into combat.

Kym Owens, a Fort Campbell spouse of more than eight years who now lives at Fort Hood, is well attuned to the reintegration process. Especially after the first time.

"I didn't honestly know what reintegration looked like," she said, and equated the distance she felt from her husband to the quality of their relationship.

"He wasn't ready to snuggle yet. ... I also took (his attitude and behavior) personal," she said.

Knowing that many soldiers and their families face similar struggles, Blanchfield Army Community Hospital has ramped up its services to prepare, and has given its new reintegration program a dry run with some 600 soldiers already back from Afghanistan. But it will be truly tested in the next few weeks as thousands more come home.

More services have been added, along with more people and a more comprehensive way to identify and track the soldiers who might be experiencing problems.
read more here
Thousands of soldiers return to long search for normal