Showing posts with label PTSD. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PTSD. Show all posts

Monday, February 5, 2024

“honey-do dude” of Waveland

US widower and veteran fights grief and PTSD by offering home repairs – for free 

The Guardian
Ramon Antonio Vargas
Sun 4 Feb 2024
“That’s when stuff comes back to you,” Chauvin remarked to CBS.
Danny Chauvin, 76, the ‘honey-do dude’ of Mississippi, fixes doors and unclogs drains to protect his mental health after his wife died.
A retired US military veteran is coping with grief from his wife’s death and post-traumatic stress from fighting in the Vietnam war by providing daily handyman services to people in his community – for free.

Danny Chauvin is the so-called “honey-do dude” of Waveland, Mississippi, according to a CBS Evening News profile of him published Friday. He told the news program that one of his favorite parts of his marriage to his wife had been the small, mostly repair and building tasks she would ask him to complete around the house, which Americans colloquially refer to as “honey-do” jobs.

Chauvin, 76, lost that part of his life when his wife of 53 years, Patricia, died in November 2022 after being sick with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and other health issues, Mississippi’s Sun Herald newspaper reported. In the subsequent quiet of his home, Chauvin realized he was not only struggling with his grief as a widower, he also was struggling to manage the depression and post-traumatic stress he had been treated for after serving with the US army in Vietnam.
read more here

Saturday, January 27, 2024

Who is testing you?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 27, 2024
Someone will tell you that God is testing you when you are suffering. No clue where they got that one from, but it must be connected to something they were told when they were suffering. It was not very comforting at all to me, so I doubt it would have comforted them. So why would they say something like that?

Another thing they say is, "God only gives us what we can handle." Is it because they think everything bad that happens to them comes from God? How does that work when we are supposed to pray to God to help us when we were just told He did it to us?

I've been going through an incredibly hard time since last year. I'm past anger. Past crying. I think I'm approaching numbness. It is understandable to the people who know me personally and they feel sorry for me. They want to help but don't know what to say. I wish they'd just say something like, "I'm here for you," instead of what I find troubling.

We all hear things people should not say to us when they want to help but don't know how. The thing is, too often we end up believing what they say especially when we hear it more than once from different people. Hell, they can't all be wrong. Actually, they can depending on how they understand the spiritual connection we have to God. Maybe they are thinking about what happened to Job and assume it is happening to others. But when you read his story, you realize from the start that it wasn't God doing the testing, but Satan was. God allowed it to prove a point. Honestly, that bothers me. 

Job had great faith in God and he was blessed. He thanked God for everything he had. As more and more were taken from him, he still trusted God. That is until he wondered why God would turn against him when he didn't do anything wrong.

People end up with #PTSD and we suffer mentally, physically, and spiritually. The worst part for me is when it is crushing my spirit and I hear something that disagrees with the faith I have. I used to just let it go until I understood that I needed to explain how unhelpful it was. If they were telling me that, then it must be what they believe. That's sad.

We all hear things based on what people believe. We hear it when they believe falsehoods about PTSD too. It is almost as if they've heard the rumors and believed them to be true. Have you heard you just weren't tough enough to take what happened to you? Unless they've lived through something you survived, they don't have a clue about how it would hit them. They'll judge you all the same because that was what they heard about it and accepted it. Maybe it is because they fear what their own life would become if it happened to them?

Job's friends tried to comfort him but ended up saying stupid things. There are some things I can assure you of that may comfort you simply because I know them to be true.

God didn't do it to you and is not testing you. If He was, there would be no point in praying to Him for help. He isn't punishing you after saving you from what happened to you. He's there to help you through it.

If people won't help you heal, it isn't because He's stopping them. He's sending them to help but they won't respond. He enabled all of us with free will. We are free to make our own choices and when they choose to not help you, that isn't God's fault. It is theirs. Maybe they want to help but don't know how to? It is up to us to let them know what we need and explain how they can help. If you need them to just listen to you, tell them. If they want to "fix" you, change their language into how they can "help" you instead. That allows them to be doing what you need and actually being helpful.

I can also assure you that you are not weak, even though too many people may think that way because of what they were told about what other people thought. Turn it around. Remind them of something they went through. Help them remember what it was like for them to recover from it if they ever did. Then ask them to think about what it would be like if the same thing never let go of them. That opens their minds to see a different view of you. You have to consider the fact you are the only one who can explain it to the people who care about you. Otherwise, they won't be able to understand. All too often they will think the way you are acting is about them and not what you're going through.

While it is true PTSD is not "curable" it is healable. Your life can become a lot better than it is. As with all wounds, you can heal. Sure you may have some scars left but you can deal with them when you get the help you need. Mental health help and physical help are huge parts of what you need but don't forget about the spiritual part of you. Misunderstanding the power of it can eat you up. Strengthening it will help you heal far beyond what could ever imagine.

I know that with all I've been through, and still going through, would be far worse if I didn't have a spiritual connection to God. I know I'm not alone. You aren't either.

Monday, January 1, 2024

Choices for 2024

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 1, 2024

Some people see the word "choice" and they think about politics because this is an election year. Sorry to disappoint you but it isn't. I don't have the time or the energy to get involved with that discussion. I have too many other things to deal with right now. Truth be told the way I feel right now, I am the last person that should be discussing what I think about all the nonsense people say. This is about choices we make for ourselves and the people we love, especially if you have #PTSD.
Why January 1 Starts the New Year
January 1 starts the New Year according to the Gregorian calendar, which is the calendar in use today. In 45 B.C., New Year’s Day was celebrated on January 1 for the first time in history when the Julian calendar took effect (thanks to Julius Caesar’s reforms). Today’s Gregorian calendar was introduced in 1582 by Pope Gregory XIII to correct some slight inaccuracies but continues to start the year in January.

The month of “January” is named for Janus, the ancient Roman god. Often depicted as having two faces—one looking forward and one looking back—Janus was the god of beginnings and endings, doors and gates, passageways and transitions.
Did you catch that? Two-faced Roman god with one face looking backward and the other looking forward. How many of us did the same today? I know I did. Last year sucked for me and my family. It drained me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It hit when I was supposed to celebrate publishing three books, but I could not get out for book signings or interviews. As the year went on, there was less and less of what I was able to do for others and less I had to give. I was drained. I still am. I have no regrets because of the choices I made to do what I could for someone I love and forget about what I wanted to do for myself. It was the right choices for the right reasons. It was an easy choice to make but hard at the same time.

We all make choices between what we want for ourselves and what we want for others. If the decision we make is based on what is loving, kind, and unselfish, then it is the right one and while it may be difficult, it is hardly ever followed by regrets. If we decide something based on what is selfish, hateful, or based on getting revenge, it is usually followed by regrets that cannot be undone.

If you have PTSD, you have the added component to all of what everyone else goes through. All too often we have the added turmoil of wanting to go back to the way things were before, even though we are smart enough to know none of us can go back to that time in our life. We've changed. The people in our life see the change but they don't understand it. We expect them to know us well enough to know we're in trouble and need help. What we have a hard time accepting is that they don't have a clue what we're going through because no one explained it to them. We sure as hell didn't because it is all foreign territory to us too. No one gave us an instruction manual on going from "normal" to survivor.

We either make the choice to pull them closer to us by opening up and letting them know we need help, or we push them away so they won't see our pain. We don't want them to feel sorry for us or worry them. As if that works. It doesn't. So we either hide our pain the best we can or we disconnect from them and walk away.

Sometimes, sadly, we reach the point where we think about what a burden we are to them. We see their confusion, anger, and frustration. The arguments we start cause them pain and their reaction causes us pain too because most of the time, we're going through the same emotional rollercoaster. We don't know what to do. Then we decide to not be a burden to them anymore. We decided to end the pain we're causing, one way or another. 

On the flip side, the two-faced god is looking forward, toward hope. So what if we decide to end feeling like a burden to the people we love by doing all we can to not just heal the wounds PTSD caused but help them heal too? The more you know about what's going on with you, and to you, the more you discover you have plenty of reasons to look ahead with hope. Finding a way to heal yourself, will make those you love a lot happier. Being able to explain it to them, helps them stop blaming themselves as well as stop blaming you.

Don't make the wrong decision because you think it is the only one you can make. Open your eyes and know you have options that can make life a whole lot happier!


What you do for love will make this year happier and a new begining.

Friday, December 15, 2023

Hero with PTSD wonders if he did enough

Army Veteran Who Disarmed the Club Q Mass Shooter Opens Up About PTSD: 'Did I Do Enough?'

PEOPLE
By Sean Neumann
Published on December 14, 2023
“There's a guilt,” Fierro explained to Hall, as the two discussed #PTSD and its impact on their lives. (Hall was wounded during the war in Ukraine while working for Fox News.)
Rich Fierro, the Army veteran who helped disarm a mass shooter who opened fire at a gay nightclub in Colorado last year, is speaking out about the post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms he’s been managing in the year since the shooting that killed five people and injured 17 others.

In a new interview with Fox News war reporter Benjamin Hall on his Searching for Heroes podcast, Fierro, 46, recounts the harrowing night of Nov. 19, 2022, when a gunman entered Club Q in Colorado Springs, Colo., and opened fire and how it has impacted both his and his family’s life.

The victims included his daughter’s longtime boyfriend Raymond Green Vance, who died in the attack, as well as bartenders Derrick Rump and Daniel Aston, as well as Kelly Loving and Ashley Paugh.

Fierro, who along with fellow patron Thomas James helped subdue the gunman and pinned him down for roughly six minutes until police arrived, has been regarded as a hero for his immediate response to the massacre. But Fierro has also spoken out over the past year, most recently on Hall’s podcast, about his lingering sense that despite his heroism, he didn't do enough.
read more here

Saturday, December 2, 2023

Are you following Christ or a church?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 2, 2023

When the leaders you follow are using your faith to control you, it is time to examine your own spiritual path and walk away from them.
The word to describe whatever faith you may belong to, sadly, all too often, is not what comes out of the leaders of it. Over 90% of the people I helped since 1982 were offended when I asked if they were religious. I had to use what they believed to help them heal spiritually, and it was an important question to ask them. The last thing I wanted was to convert anyone. After they explained how they used to go to church but felt betrayed, they said they still believed in God and Jesus. The problem was they didn't find either one within the walls of the building. 

They were spiritual but somehow ashamed to admit it. I told them some scriptures they hadn't heard during a sermon and they were empowered to release the shame and embrace how beautiful it was to be what they were.

The Christian faith is being used by far too many to manipulate what they want people to become aware of. They condemn those Jesus embraced and loved. Yes, He preached against committing sins but did not support judging them or hating them. The instructions He gave those who chose to follow Him were about love, compassion, forgiveness, and mercy. They were to live their lives the way He taught them to, not attempt to force anyone else to do anything. They were accountable for themselves and in control over no one else. After all, to preach otherwise would be a lie since God gave all souls free will to make their own choices. 

What we see today is no different than what happened throughout history. What happened in Salem happened in other parts of the world because leaders lied to the people they were supposed to lead.

I hear people scream about their religious freedom being taken away from them. The opposite is the truth. They want to control others and remove their freedom from them. That is not what this country or the Christian faith was built on. The founding fathers looked back at the history of the witchcraft trials and attempted to prevent one faith-based group from controlling others. If we lose that freedom, then all others are in jeopardy too.

I chose to not attend church services after decades of dedication. The reason is simple. I didn't find what I was looking for in them, but discovered far more than I imagined praying to God on my own. That is the power Jesus told us about when He was asked to teach the people how to pray. He began with the words, "Our Father." That gave us permission to pray directly to God.

Those manipulated by their religious leaders are no different than the others throughout history. They used it to do far more than simply control their followers. They used it to gain power and wealth, feeding off the "faithful" while preaching hatred of others. There was nothing hateful about anything Jesus preached. There was nothing hateful in His actions. Considering as the Son of God, He could have wiped out the Roman army but showed compassion to a Roman Centurion, mercy to a man possessed by demons, and healed people without judgment, hate was not in Him.

So how we've arrived in this time and place allowing it again. We are in a spiritual battle between powers. You do not have to be Sam and Dean Winchester hunting down demons or Nick Burkhardt fighting evil because they could see the others for what they were inside. So can you. You can see it in what they do, more than what they say. You can see it in how they treat others, not in how others treat them.

I am not saying that "religious" people are not spiritual as well. It is possible. Spiritual people do not need another human to hear their confessions. They go directly to God. Spiritual people do not need a prayer circle held by a church group but can be part of one no matter where they are. We do a lot for others and ask for nothing in return. Most of the time, we don't even tell people what we're doing. I give to charities all the time but do not seek a deduction on my taxes. I pray for people without telling them. That is how I choose to live my life.

What I've seen going on in far too many churches when they go against the faith they claim to have is all too familiar. They are preaching hatred, judgment, and lies, and liars are saying that what Christ said is nothing more than "liberal talking points" while at the same time they claim to be serving Him. They want to control the lives of others and then whine about not being able to rule over them. I guess it makes sense to them since they've already proven they only care about themselves. When you think about how low the percentage of people attending church is now, it is easy to see how a spiritual life is preferable for many of us.

If you want to know about the spiritual life, this is a good place to start to discover just how much power and beauty are within you.
What Is Spirituality?
Spirituality is a broad concept with room for many perspectives. In general, it includes a sense of connection to something bigger than ourselves, and it typically involves a search for meaning in life. As such, it is a universal human experience—something that touches us all. People may describe a spiritual experience as sacred or transcendent or simply a deep sense of aliveness and interconnectedness.

Some may find that their spiritual life is intricately linked to their association with a church, temple, mosque, or synagogue. Others may pray or find comfort in a personal relationship with God or a higher power. Still others seek meaning through their connections to nature or art. Like your sense of purpose, your personal definition of spirituality may change throughout your life, adapting to your own experiences and relationships.

I am a solitary spiritual person and a Christian. I want to live my life the way Christ taught, not the way the church has manipulated the beauty of His message. That means I must accept people as they are. If they need help, it isn't up to me to judge them. Only God knows what they really are inside, just as He will judge me for not helping when I can do it.  I know I can only control what I choose to do and they are free to make their own choices. 

All churches are not bad. I had a great priest growing up. I attended that church most of most of my life. One of my best friends is a pastor and a fabulous one. I worked with her for a couple of years and saw her spiritual power, especially when she sang. 

The thing is if you are struggling after surviving something that made you question God or your faith, you may be asking the wrong questions to the wrong people. Too many of us tried talking to a faith leader and left with less hope. Even more of us tried to talk to people we knew in church and ended up being judged by them as if what happened to us was our fault. They'd ask us questions wondering why we didn't do something or why we did what we did to cause it. Then the worst thing they'd say is telling us that God only gives us what we can handle. As if that was going to comfort us at all when they basically just said it was caused by God!

I found more comfort and support talking to other survivors after they were pulled out of the abyss. I found it astonishing when they wanted to help others the way they were helped. Such inspirational messages empowered so many others to do the same, including me. Had others not shared their stories of struggling to heal, I doubt I would have done what I did all these years.

Find what brings you comfort, support, and healing because #PTSD is a spiritual battle as well as a mental and physical one. Add spiritual healing to your to-do list and find a sense of peace that no one can take away. If you cannot find it in a religious building, remember you don't need to be in one. I think that is an overlooked message Christ gave. He preached most of the time outside and to Our Father. 

You can walk away from that building without having to walk away from God or the faith you have. Discover the power and beauty of the original messages. Examine scriptures fully to see the clues of what was in the beginning while discovering what were the contradictions within other scriptures. Acknowledge that humans wrote all of it, delivering the messages they were paid to deliver, and what they wanted known as much as they left out what they wanted hidden. The answers are there. The answers are also inside your soul. Well worth the time it takes to discover them. I know I was saved many times and helped by strangers. To me, they will always be spiritual beings sent to do what they could to help someone they did not know for no other reason than they cared. I want to live my life the same way.

Monday, November 20, 2023

PTSD is a spiritual wound

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 6, 2023




We live in a complicated world. That's something we've come to accept as reality. While we acknowledge the existence of goodness and evil within others. We do not understand both live inside of us. We know there are wars around the world. News from Israel and Gaza have replaced what Russia is doing in Ukraine. People suffer for what rulers do while no one knows what to do to save the people. So why don't we see a war of powers all around us?

When we want to know the answer to something or learn something new, we believe it's all within a search engine such as Google. Google collects billions of information. How they do it should be the first thing we learn, but we avoid that primary question. It is easier to trust it knows all than to come to the conclusion we live in a delusionary comfort zone.

Apparently, the world once again managed to create a trap for those searching for more than others know. Outcasts have been forced into hiding since the beginning of time out of fear those in power would lose their control over others. Examples of this are found within clues scribes wrote leaving trails into the mysteries of the unrecorded. Google won't find the answers for you because these answers have never been written.

History is written by humans and as such they do not always know if what they are recording is all there is to know. Even more to the point, we don't know if they write all they know or just what they want to be known by others. There are clues to this in one of the most-read books but few dare to wonder because it will lead them to question what they have been told about the faith they live by.

Begin with the fact that there are other gods besides the God. Shocking? Hardly. It has been known since Moses gave the Ten Commandments and Thou shall have no other gods before me was right at the top of the list. God acknowledged them. He did not command people to stop believing in them but wanted none to be held to a higher place of honor than His. Had that fact been valued, there would have been fewer wars when one group of religious zealots was trying to obliterate all others for worshiping what they deemed as false gods. He was the judge among the other gods. If your eyebrows just went up, you're not alone.

In some parts of the Bible, consulting the dead was condemned, yet churches not only venerate dead Saints, but they also support praying to them. Scriptures are written to condemn those who see the future or what we call fortune tellers, yet venerate others because they are called prophets. There were 12 of them. So how can gifts of the spirit be an abomination as well as holy? 

When you read the clues it is easy to see that when people used their spiritual gifts to harm someone it was an abomination against the Creator. When they were using their gifts to help someone, they were honored for the blessings within them.
This is a partial list of those gifts.
4 Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.
5 And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.
6 And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God who worketh all in all.
7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit thereby:
8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;
9 to another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;
10 to another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues.
11 But all of these that one and the selfsame Spirit worketh, apportioning to every man individually as He will.
The answer is while souls were given gifts to benefit others, some made the choice to benefit themselves. They surrendered to the war of powers within them. Titles were given to the wicked and all with the label were condemned. Consider the title of a witch. Anyone called a witch was hated even though most were using their gifts to help others. Jesus Himself was accused of having His powers come from a demon.
But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, “This fellow doth not cast out devils, except by Beelzebub, the prince of devils.”

Accusations spread to all those who were with Him. The thing is, not all those with Him were known. Two clues to this have been overlooked. While the 12 famous ones were known by their names,  there were many more with them. Luke 10:1-23 has the first clue when it was known that 72 were sent to serve God and perform miracles. No one knows their names, their stories, or what happened to them afterward. Still, there is another clue. There were 120 gathered to vote on a replacement for Judas and Peter called them "brothers and sisters." This implies while we've been led to believe there were only men serving God with Jesus, women were held with equal status.

Who were they? What did they do with their powers? Where did they go? Historians don't know the answers because no one wrote about them. Really odd considering how vital they were to the spread of Christianity. This interview on Biblegateway with Rev. Dr. John Teter sums it up.


What do you mean, “I would like every Christian to see themselves in the anonymity of the 72”?

Rev. Dr. John Teter: We know very little about the 72 that Jesus trained for mission. All we know is that Jesus communicated with them personally to join his mission team. And we know they obeyed. I think it’s intentional that Luke puts this mission event in the very next chapter after the 12 are sent for mission. We see the 12 go and think to ourselves, they are the apostles and they should do that. But then when the 72 do the exact same thing we’re internally challenged that this might be our calling as well. Luke gives no details about the 72. We don’t know their age, gender, race, socio-economics, education, marital status, spiritual gifts, or even their names. In keeping them completely anonymous, Luke is inviting us to see ourselves in the mission.
Therein lies the mystery of what we do not know. Or do we? We know Christianity spread around the world in loving ways, as well as horrible ones. Unfortunately, people used the power of the name Jesus to control others and blamed evil acts on "God's will," instead of their own. Nothing those horrible people did had any kind of connection to what Jesus taught. 

He told His followers how to treat others. He did not command any acts against others. As a matter of fact, when a Roman Centurion went to Him for help to heal his servant, Jesus did as he requested without demanding the Centurion did anything to deserve it. Why? Because the Centurion showed great love for his servant and proved he believed Jesus could and would deliver a miracle.
The Faith of the Centurion
5 When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. 6 “Lord,” he said, “my servant lies at home paralyzed, suffering terribly.”
7 Jesus said to him, “Shall I come and heal him?”
8 The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. 9 For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and that one, ‘Come,’ and he comes. I say to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”
10 When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. 11 I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12 But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
13 Then Jesus said to the centurion, “Go! Let it be done just as you believed it would.” And his servant was healed at that moment.
We have been led to believe things that are simply only part of the history of our faith but that isn't the only thing we have been misled about. Think about all the different faiths and how you now know there were many other gods since the beginning of time. Think about what you now know about the gifts of the spirit and how those gifts were used as intended by many more than the general public has been told about. Now think about how it was written that God is spirit and since we are made in His image, we are spirit, the spirit He created, sent equipped with gifts, and must pray to Him in spirit

What gifts were you sent with? What if you have them and don't know about them? What if you were sent for a purpose but suffer because you don't know what it is?

You may have heard that if you do not attend religious services, or attend the "wrong ones" you are not a believer. Now you know they are wrong. Jesus prayed outside. Some believe he did so because He was not welcomed in the temple. That may be part of the reason however, the reason is far more simple and loving. He preached and prayed outside with all the people that chose to listen to Him. He healed people without interrogation or demands they convert to follow Him. He became an enemy of the powerful because He told the people they should pray directly to His Father. That His Father was also their Father.

One of the biggest struggles people with #PTSD have is a spiritual battle. We wonder if God did it to us or saved us. Depending on our understanding, we either abandon our beliefs or draw closer to Him. Should we abandon what we believe, then God becomes an enemy, and angels protecting us are replaced with demons determined to destroy us. They feed off whatever negative emotions and thoughts we have to remove all hope our wounds can heal. Now you know the battle we fight is against spiritual forces. 

We also have to battle false beliefs other people have about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Some think that we are weak and can't handle what we survived. Others have the idea that our suffering came from God's judgment against us. They see the changes in us as evil taking over. Sometimes we may think that as well. Should we view our survival in a secondary place from the trauma itself, we can view the event as punishment. If people are telling us something like "God only gives us what we can handle," then they reinforce that thought. The truth is, God gives us what we need to handle it and everything we need to heal is within us. 

Just as the spiritual gifts are within you, so is your ability to heal what was done to you. You have the ability to defeat the negative emotions already there but you may not know you have them. PTSD is a mental, physical, and spiritual wound that enters you. 

Change came the second you survived whatever did it to you. You may think that only veterans fight PTSD, but the truth is, that survivors of all different events fight their own battles. Trying to fight them alone doesn't work since you are not just fighting what you believe, you are fighting what others believe because they do not know what they need to know. That's why it often feels as if we're beating our heads against the wall with no way out.

So what do we do? We learn all we can about what we need to know and then find others like us. We don't try to fight this battle alone. Try to use the way the members of the military fight enemies. They do not try to fight alone. When they are outnumbered, they call in reinforcements. They call for everything they can so they survive. They do not deny they need help. You need to do the same. We all do.

We try to explain it to others in our lives because they are just as confused as we are. They look for easy answers as to why we are not the way we used to be. We need to give them the right answers by letting them know we are struggling with the changes we went through from living our normal lives to surviving what we did. We can also give them hope that with help, we can change again from struggling into being a survivor of it as well as defeating PTSD itself.

While we cannot be "cured" we can heal the wounds we have and change again only this time for the better.

That is what I tried to answer in The Ministers Of The Mystery Series. The Scribe Of Salem, The Visionary Of Salem, and the 13 Minister Of Salem explores people sent to help heal the world and fight against those using their gifts for their own sake. Different causes of PTSD are included with victorious characters going on to help others because someone helped them heal. After all, that is what love does when we are shown the way. You can be assured that when you accept help and heal, you will seek to help others heal too because you know what it was like when you did. You know they're suffering and want to make sure they know your victory!

Tuesday, October 31, 2023

Peace "as far as it depends on you"

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 31, 2023

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

That is from Romans 12:18 and that is what the people of Israel and Gaza want to do, were trying to do but others wanted to destroy any sense of peace. The desire to live your life in peace should not cost you your life, but it does.

There have been wars since the beginning of time for many different reasons. It was never about "faith," but people used the idea of faith as fuel to cause people to fight wars. They accused others of trying to take away what they believed fed hatred and that hatred energized vengeance.

The suffering and deaths they caused did not matter as long as those in charge got what they wanted.

Right now it is Israel trying to defend itself after Hamas decided to slaughter citizens in Israel. Bombing buses didn't achieve what they wanted it to. Sending bombs didn't cause as much death and destruction as they hoped. The people of Gaza are paying for what that group did and in return, the people of Israel are paying the price as well. It would be wonderful if both sides decided to invest planning, time, and money, on discovering a way to live side by side but neither side seems to want to give in on what they want out of it. The problem is, that they don't see living in peace as their goal. They want destruction.

And now we've arrived at a deplorable response from far too many blaming the people who were attacked for just trying to live a normal life, including enjoying a music festival. Brutality of Hamas attack seen at Israel morgue on CNN is a reminder of what happened to them.
They are being blamed for the response from their government. It doesn't matter if the people support what their government is doing or not, they are being attacked no matter where they live. What is happening in Gaza is terrible because the people are paying the price for what Hamas did. It doesn't matter if the people support Hamas or not because Hamas hides among the people without the ability to fight them. Hamas is not interested in peace any more than they are interested in taking care of the people living there.

What is the answer? It is the desire to live in peace becoming stronger than anything else. No parent wants their children to suffer, live in fear, or die because of what others do. It is heartbreaking to see the suffering in Israel as well as Gaza, but blaming the people is deplorable. Both sides will be paying the price for the rest of their lives as well as generations to come.

Read the reports of #PTSD caused by all of this and understand that this battle is being fought by people around the world and then understand that everyone is paying the price because PTSD is not limited to the survivors but to their entire families and friends.
 
To witness hatred spread around the world and people being targeted because of their heritage is something we've seen throughout history. All that was achieved by it was more suffering until more people decided to try to stop it. Where are those heroes now? Where are the people with the ability to see clearly what is happening and stop hatred from spreading? 


Tuesday, October 24, 2023

"Our veterans and first responders need help, and they need to be heard" and so do we

Hundreds turnout to run for first responders, veterans and law enforcement officers

ABC Action News
By: JJ Burton
Oct 22, 2023
“Our veterans and first responders need help, and they need to be heard,” she said. “Seeing how much this event grows every year just shows how much noise is being made for a cause that needs more concern.”
Hundreds showed up at Madeira Beach for a very important race, the Legends Never Die 5K. For the people racing, winning wasn’t the goal. “We are here to raise awareness about PTSD and mental health for first responders and our military,” said Fire Chief Clint Belk.
MADEIRA BEACH, Fla. — Hundreds showed up at Madeira Beach for a very important race, the Legends Never Die 5K.

For the people racing, winning wasn’t the goal.

“We are here to raise awareness about PTSD and mental health for first responders and our military,” said Fire Chief Clint Belk.

The department started the race three years ago with just their firefighters. Now, it’s grown to more than 300 people running with them.

“It’s great,” Kaylee Turner said. “This event means so much to me and my family.”
read more here

This is a good thing to do. Not trying to take away from helping them at all. It just makes me wonder what if they do something for everyone with #PTSD to show that if civilians can get hit by PTSD by just one event, those subjecting themselves to events all the time, can learn just how human they are!

Saturday, October 21, 2023

"Countless veterans can experience delayed #PTSD" and so can everyone else

Countless veterans can experience delayed PTSD, showing signs months to years after traumatic incident 

KETV News
Rob McCartney Anchor/Reporter
October 20, 2023

"Trauma is not like wine. It doesn't age well," said Jason Kander.


OMAHA, Neb. —
There are countless veterans walking around with no idea their lives might change because of what they've seen.

They may have something called delayed post-traumatic stress disorder.

It can hit years after they go through an incident.

But they can get help from people who really know what they're going through.

Steve Kane is a financial expert, helping people and businesses.

Life was good until he started getting unwanted callbacks from his past.

"It was great until I walked out that door," Kane said.
That's when he was jumped by five guys and beaten badly. "I ended up having a broken vertebrae in my back, broken bone in my face," he said,

The attackers also tried to break him psychologically.

"Had me call my parents tell them that this was the last day that I was going to be on this earth, and they stuck a gun to my mouth and pretty heavy stuff," Kane said.

Afterwards he went to the doctor who told him he'd be fine.

"Just take it easy, you know, you'll heal up. You should be ok," Kane said.
read more here
I hope you paid attention to the last part of that. His traumatic event happened after a party. The headline directs the information to "veterans" but the truth is, the rest of the report shows that any survivor of events like his can, and all too often does, get hit by PTSD.

Most of us have received rotten advice at one point or, many after surviving. Hopefully after reading this site, you've discovered that there is a lot of great advice out there. Knowing you're not alone is a blessing but the greatest one is discovering no one is trapped with PTSD and you can heal. Remember, the causes of our traumas are different however, one thing unites us. WE'RE SURVIVORS!

Saturday, October 14, 2023

Israel and Gaza should be preparing for a tsunami of mental health crises

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 14, 2023

When responding to your citizens being slaughtered by terrorists is being protested, this world has gone insane.
Last week people in Israel were minding their own business when they were attacked, dragged out of their homes, gunned down at a music festival for peace, and children were decapitated. It has been reported that the terrorists were ordered to target schools to kill as many children as possible.

The people of Gaza did not order it but the terrorists running their country did. Israel responded by targeting places they knew were occupied by them and those places included being among civilians. Many of the innocent people have been killed in the process of killing the terrorists.

The people of Israel want to live in peace. The people of Gaza want to live in peace. Their leaders have to defend their people. So what is the answer when it is not an army against an army? No one knows.

Israeli people cannot allow what happened to them to be forgotten about because it was committed by terrorists. Yet the people of Gaza should not be punished for what the terrorists did. What's the answer?

No one knows what the right answer is unless it is finding a way for both to be able to live in peace but hatred has taken over too many. The terrorists are like well-armed bullies intimidating everyone else to the point where they fear standing up to them.  The terrorists are outnumbered but the citizens do not have the weapons to fight against them. What's the answer?

When you live in constant fear, can you heal from the terror you've already survived? How do you heal when the threat never ends? How do you heal when you've spent your entire life living with it? If you have #PTSD you don't have to wonder too hard because you know what the result can be like. For me, I was only able to heal from the worst that was done to me when the threat died. The only way for the people of Israel and Gaza to begin to heal is to have the threat to their lives die. The problem is hatred does not die. It spreads. It doesn't have to be allowed to spread unchallenged if people refuse to surrender to it. If they find enough hope for peace, they will refuse to give up on achieving it. Who can deliver it when both sides want vengeance?

This is happening in Ukraine too. We cannot forget about what they're going through. What happened here on September 11 only lasted a day but what if it kept on happening? We responded by starting a war in Afghanistan that lasted 20 years and another one in Iraq. Our military was responding with the rules of warfare while they were playing by their own rules. The terrorists did the act but the people of the nations paid the price. It was not military against the military but with terrorists living among the people. Our response did not work. How does the Israeli government think it will work in Gaza?

No matter how it ends, Israel and Gaza should be preparing for a tsunami of mental health crises that will vastly outnumber the number of wounded bodies.

UPDATE

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Columbus expert addresses changing #PTSD therapies

MENTAL HEALTH: Columbus expert addresses changing PTSD therapies

News 3
by: Olivia Yepez
Posted: Sep 25, 2023
“Post-traumatic stress disorder is my body’s physiological, emotional, mental reaction to a life-threatening event and doesn’t have to threaten my life,” said Waynick.
COLUMBUS, Ga. (WRBL) — Long misunderstood, the way people view and treat post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) has changed drastically over time. The disease is often associated with soldiers, however its current definition extends to traumatic events beyond warfare, such as rape and natural disasters.

Often linked with increased risk of suicide, experts now emphasize the importance of receiving treatment for what was once viewed as an untreatable condition. September marks National Suicide Prevention Month in the United States.

“We have record of PTSD going all the way back to the Greek and Roman wars,” said Pastoral Institute CEO Thomas Waynick, who will step down from the position at the end of October. Prior to joining the Pastoral Institute, Waynick was a U.S. Army chaplain for 35 years and director of the Family Life Training Center at Fort Moore.

National Geographic reported in a 2020 story accounts of symptoms aligning with PTSD were recorded as much as 3,000 years ago in Mesopotamian cuneiform tablets.

“Post-traumatic stress disorder is my body’s physiological, emotional, mental reaction to a life-threatening event and doesn’t have to threaten my life,” said Waynick.
read more here

Find some encouragement with the rest of this article...and hope too!

Friday, September 22, 2023

Spirituality and Trauma, what you believe may help you heal

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 22, 2023

After you survive "it" all too often you wonder if God did it to you or did He saved you. It's hard to make sense out of coming out of "it" alive. It's even harder when others do not.
I know I wondered after the over ten times in my life. Everyone I've helped over the last 40 years wondered. After probably thousands of news articles, none of the people in them were sure what the answer was right away. The other thing most of us have in common is that when we realize that God didn't do it to us, we're a lot happier and our healing is greater than anything we ever expected.

This isn't about "religion" but about our spiritual life. The beliefs we hold and, well, all too often keep private. Our spiritual life is the one that matters. I no longer attend church. I have never given up, nor will I ever want to spend a day without that part of me actively communicating with God. You may use the term "Higher Power" to define your connection. The bottom line is that none of that really matters. The thing that does matter is you are not here alone wondering if you did something wrong and the suffering coming after trauma was a punishment for something you did in a past life. Ok, honestly, I've used that before to explain to someone why I felt I was suffering, but it was more of a joke than reality.

When I was training as a Chaplain, we were reminded of stupid things people said when they didn't know what to say to someone suffering. The biggest stupidest thing was, "God only gives us what we can handle," and then they expect that to encourage someone to ask God for help. Oh, sure as if telling someone God did it to them would cause them to ask for anything from Him. Anyway, the proper thing to say because it is true is, that God is there to help you heal from it.

People do the crappy stuff and God has nothing to do with the evil things they do. If you know anything about all the things in the Bible you don't hear in church, it is packed full of people using their free will to do bad things. The awesome thing is, it is even more packed with people doing good because they can, someone did it for them and they want to pass it on.  It feeds your spirit to help someone else and expect nothing in return other than the priceless feeling you walk away with. 

Now, take that feeling and imagine how God feels when He helps us. After all, He created us and knows us better than anyone else. As for me, I take great comfort in knowing that no matter how much I can screw things up, how much I can get wrong, He hasn't given up on me and still loves me. 

I'm not alone on this as you'll see from the National Center for PTSD.  One of the things I had to do was to find out where people were spiritually before I could help them. Over 90% said they believed in God and most believed Jesus was and is the Son Of God but less than 20% of them said they attended church or any house of worship. That says a lot right there.

You can be religious and spiritual but spirituality does not separate us from others. It connects us to one another and we are able to heal with their help. Others are able to heal with ours and, we heal even more. That is the greatest blessing of all. There is nothing more powerful than that.

Spirituality and Trauma: Professionals Working Together

PTSD: National Center for PTSD

What Is Spirituality?
Spirituality is a personal experience with many definitions. Spirituality might be defined as "an inner belief system providing an individual with meaning and purpose in life, a sense of the sacredness of life, and a vision for the betterment of the world." Other definitions emphasize "a connection to that which transcends the self." The connection might be to God, a higher power, a universal energy, the sacred, or to nature. Researchers in the field of spirituality have suggested three useful dimensions for thinking about one's spirituality:
Beliefs
Spiritual practices
Spiritual experiences
Currently, in the US, opinion surveys consistently find that most people endorse a belief in God or a higher power. In a 2007 Gallup Poll, 86% of respondents indicated a belief in God, while only 6% stated they did not believe in God (4). Many of these individuals would describe religion or spirituality as the most important source of strength and direction for their lives. Because spirituality plays such a significant and central role in the lives of many people, it is likely to be affected by trauma, and in turn affect the survivor's reaction to the trauma.
Research suggests that for many trauma survivors, spirituality may be a resource that can be associated with resilience and recovery. However, for some, the circumstances of the trauma may lead to the questioning of important and previously sustaining beliefs. This can lead to spiritual struggle or even loss of faith. It is important for helping professionals to be comfortable asking about how spirituality has been affected by trauma, and to what role spirituality is playing within the recovery process following trauma.
Assess spiritual beliefs and needs
Depending on their beliefs, trauma survivors may benefit from adding a spiritual dimension to their recovery. A brief assessment of the impact of trauma on spirituality and the role spirituality might play in recovery has been suggested for use following disasters (16). These questions are likely a useful starting place for survivors of other types of trauma as well.

Are you affiliated with a religious or spiritual community?

Do you see yourself as a religious or spiritual person? If so, in what way?

Has the event affected your religiousness and if so, in what ways?

Has your religion or spirituality been involved in the way you have coped with this event? If so, in what way?

Providers interested in assessing these issues more systematically can use a brief questionnaire measure of multiple domains of religion and spirituality that was created by the NIH (6). learn more here

Sunday, September 17, 2023

How common is #PTSD? The answer may surprise you.

Let it be this if you take nothing else away from this article.
“Recovery and healing is certainly possible and this is important to name for trauma survivors,” explains Verhulst. “Within this recovery, initial symptoms can become much more manageable and individuals can go on to experience better qualities of life with significant improvement.”

PTSD Statistics And Facts: How Common Is It?

Forbes Health
By Rena Goldman
September 14, 2023 

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that can develop after someone experiences a traumatic event. While not everyone who goes through a traumatic event will experience PTSD, those who continue to deal with problems related to their social, physical and/or spiritual well-being after experiencing trauma may be dealing with PTSD. It’s also possible to experience higher levels of PTSD symptoms at different periods of time, such as during events like war, a pandemic or a natural disaster.
PTSD Statistics By Gender The type of traumatic event and the age at which it occurs can determine whether or not someone develops PTSD, and certain types of traumatic experiences put people at a higher risk. Women are more likely than men to develop PTSD, but that may be because women are more likely to experience sexual assault, a type of trauma that can cause PTSD.
About 8% of women and 4% of men get PTSD at some point in their lifetime.
Women are two to three times more at risk for developing PTSD when compared to men.
In women, about 10% to 12% develop PTSD during their lifetime.
In men, about 5% to 6% develop PTSD during their lifetime.
Women are also more likely than men to experience another mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression.
Men are more likely to experience trauma from physical violence, combat, accidents or disaster, while women are more likely to experience trauma from rape, sexual assault or childhood sexual abuse.
learn more here
Now you know that you are nowhere close to being alone even though you may not know someone like you.

The other good thing this article does is it breaks down how #PTSD strikes other people and not just veterans. Once we see that survivors are human first, we realize that we are all survivors of what could have killed us and need help to heal. It's a lot more powerful to have the reassurance others struggle too and we can all learn from one another and lean on them.

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

Miracles come without warning too!

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 12, 2023 

We woke up on September 12th with a reminder that normal no longer existed. That's the way all survivors of traumatic events wake up to what becomes a different normal to us.


It wasn't just the people running out of the buildings. It wasn't just the police officers and firefighters running into them. It wasn't just the people in the area, or across from it in New Jersey. People all over the world watched what happened in real-time.

Then searchers operated on pure adrenaline being fed by the hope they would find their friends alive. With each day, it was all being slowly drained away. They didn't see what all of that was doing to them. With each passing year, they didn't know that day would become a continuous danger to them.



U.S. Marines pray over a fallen comrade after he died from wounds suffered in fighting in Fallujah, Iraq, April 8, 2004. AP Photo/Murad Sezer, File
20 years post-invasion, many Iraq veterans haven’t found peace on the Harvard Gazette is a reminder that those we sent into combat in Afghanistan and Iraq didn't see it coming either. None of them saw #PTSD coming until it had already dug into them.

Miracles came to survivors on 9-11. Firefighters and survivors on Stairwell B and more stories came out. They happened but we didn't know about them until afterward. Miracles happened in Afghanistan and Iraq too. Can they happen to us too?

And now for the good news. None of us saw the people coming to help us, but they came. We don't see healing coming until it arrives proving hope still lives. Not just in us but in those taking the time to help us. Had they not had hope they could help, they wouldn't bother. Honestly, it can be damn draining to work with people after trauma but they do it and most of the time, it is because either someone helped them at some people in their own lives or they knew someone.

We don't see the day coming when we can actually feel the smile come over our faces. We don't see it coming when we suddenly pick up the guitar and play it again, or let our fingers caress the keys of a piano. We don't see it coming when we pick up the paintbrush, molding clay, or any of the other tools we use to create something out of love. We don't see it coming when we sit and write our thoughts, and visions, or attempt to allow inspiration to flow through us. That all can happen after hope returns to us and we don't see it until it arrives. Miracles come without warning too!

Sunday, September 10, 2023

#PTSD is the invader you don't see coming

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 10, 2023

After surviving the traumatic event, you may have felt lucky to remain alive. Figuring you are safe, you try to get on with your life, going back to whatever that life was like before it happened to you. The thing is, that event opened the door to the invader. It is a war you didn't start. #PTSD is the invader you don't see coming.

If you are prepared for this enemy, you start to fight it right away. You know you have 30 days to conquer it and begin to heal the wound it caused. Should you not be prepared, your choice is to surrender to it or fight with everything you've got. Unarmed, you don't have much to fight with.

Waiting to just get over it, pretending nothing has changed in you, allows it to feed off everything you are and suck out the life you once lived. Family and friends tell you that you're not acting the same way you did before. They try to get you to cheer up. When that doesn't work, frustration takes over and they tell you to just get over it. They have no clue this isn't a wound that time will heal. This is a wound that spreads like an infection. While everyone else is miserable, including you, PTSD is all too happy to claim more of you.

That's what the Ministers Of The Mystery Series is all about. The first book, The Scribe Of Salem, is about a war reporter. Chris Papadopoulos was nearly killed by a bomb blast in Afghanistan. His friends serving in the Army saw it happen. That event wouldn't leave them alone.

When he returned home to a hostile wife, he had to fight to heal his physical wounds. He didn't know his soul was wounded too. He had too many other things to fight, including his wife. The wounds to his body eventually healed but the other wound grew stronger until he lost everything he had, including his faith in God.

Returning to Salem as a failure, he relied on drinks being poured by his favorite bartender and only friend, Ed. On the 7th anniversary of the bomb blast, he didn't want to spend one more day suffering without any hope of anything getting better. God agreed.

If you want to see how this demon can be defeated by a broken man, you'll have to read The Scribe Of Salem. If you're guessing it has something to do with witches, you're right but the witch in this one is one. You may have never heard of witches like her but chances are, ones like her are waiting for you to turn to them too.

Thursday, September 7, 2023

How to be an ally to someone dealing with PTSD

How to be an ally to someone dealing with PTSD

Upworthy
Mark Shrayber
September 5, 2023

An estimated 8 percent of the population will experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in their lifetime.
Those living with #PTSD are already under a great deal of pressure. Suggesting therapy is helpful, but trying to make your loved one see "the good side of things" or "remember that this is all part of a bigger plan" is likely to create even more guilt and stress rather than prompt action. PTSD is painful and it's serious, but it's never a sign of weakness.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Up to 8% of the American population will experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in their lifetime, according to the National Center for PTSD.

As much as people might not want to discuss it, traumatic experiences are not rare. In fact, recent data suggests that 60% of men and 50% of women will experience at least one traumatic event in their lifetime.

For a long time, it was believed that only those who had served in the military could develop PTSD, but that's simply not true.

The reality is that, while it may be more prevalent among certain groups, PTSD can affect anyone who's experienced a traumatic event. It's important to be able to speak about it clearly and openly, without fear or condemnation, in order to promote understanding and healing.
learn how you can be an ally here

Friday, September 1, 2023

Worcester Police Officer-Disabled Veteran fired for what service did to him

Disabled Military Veteran Fired by Worcester Police

This Week In Worcester
By Tom Marino
August 20, 2023
Documentation from the VA indicates Condo told its staff that while in Afghanistan, he was assigned a tent near a Counter-Rocket, Artillery, Mortar (C-RAM) unit at a base that experienced significant attacks where soldiers were killed. Public records show an attack at Bagram Air Force Base led to five casualties there on July 8, 2014, while records show Condo was stationed there. Documentation from the VA indicates Condo told its staff that while in Afghanistan, he was assigned a tent near a Counter-Rocket, Artillery, Mortar (C-RAM) unit at a base that experienced significant attacks where soldiers were killed. Public records show an attack at Bagram Air Force Base led to five casualties there on July 8, 2014, while records show Condo was stationed there.
Jerry Condo served as a Worcester Police officer for 14 years and is a 23-year veteran of the U.S. Air Force National Guard with a combat tour in Afghanistan. During his time with the Worcester Police Department, he was never the subject of a citizen complaint. He was the subject of two investigations by the Bureau of Professional Services (BOPS), the internal affairs unit that investigates officer wrongdoing inside the Worcester Police Department, for alcohol-related incidents in 2017 and 2018. Both investigations were sustained. Termination was recommended.

Prior to Condo’s termination, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) designated Condo as a disabled veteran due to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) in connection with military service. Despite documentation from the VA that Condo was engaging in treatment for both PTSD and alcohol abuse consistently throughout 2018, then City Manager Ed Augustus signed a letter terminating the employment of this disabled veteran on Dec. 14, 2018.
read more here

HOLD ONTO YOUR TEMPER AS YOU READ THE REST OF THIS. They recognized what service does a couple of months later.

Wednesday, August 30, 2023

shortage of mental health providers just sent a sense of hopelessness up my spine

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
August 30, 2023

Most of us understand how it feels to be so frustrated all we want to do is SCREAM! That's the way I've been feeling for decades. Reading the news on the shortage of mental health providers just sent a sense of hopelessness up my spine. I screamed!


As the mental health crisis in children and teens worsens, the dire shortage of mental health providers is preventing young people from getting the help they need
Steven Berkowitz, Professor of Psychiatry, University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus
Sun, August 27, 2023
The situation is so grim that in October 2021, health care professionals declared a national emergency in child mental health. Since then, the crisis has not abated; it’s only gotten worse. But there are not enough mental health professionals to meet the need.
The hospital where I practice recently admitted a 14-year-old girl with post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, to our outpatient program. She was referred to us six months earlier, in October 2022, but at the time we were at capacity. Although we tried to refer her to several other hospitals, they too were full. During that six-month wait, she attempted suicide.

Unfortunately, this is an all-too-common story for young people with mental health issues. A 2021 survey of 88 children’s hospitals reported that they admit, on average, four teens per day to inpatient programs. At many of these hospitals, more children await help, but there are simply not enough services or psychiatric beds for them.

So these children languish, sometimes for days or even a week, in hospital emergency departments. This is not a good place for a young person coping with grave mental health issues and perhaps considering suicide. Waiting at home is not a good option either – the family is often unable or unwilling to deal with a child who is distraught or violent.

I am a professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the University of Colorado, where I founded and direct the Stress, Trauma, Adversity Research and Treatment Center. For 30 years, my practice has focused on youth stress and trauma.
read more here
First getting people to understand what #PTSD was seemed an impossible endeavor. Then the battle was to get the message across that no one had to suffer when they could heal as a survivor of what trauma did to them. That offered them hope they weren't stuck the way they were. The problem back then was there were not enough mental health professionals with specialized training in trauma. 

How could we expect anyone to seek help when it clearly wouldn't be there for them? Years passed and as word spread about the millions suffering, that field grew. The problem was, that they were focused on veterans while unwilling to understand that PTSD was a human wound caused by many different traumatic events. 

To see all of this end up right back to where I started 4 decades ago is heartbreaking, but all is not hopeless. To know that just being able to talk to someone begins the healing process and all of us can at least listen to them is something all of us can do until things change again. 

If you know you need help and believe you may have #PTSD, no matter what the cause was, go here and take the assessment from the National Center For PTSD to get an idea of what you may be experiencing. The best way to know for sure is to be evaluated by a mental health professional but until there are more of them, you can take steps now to begin to heal.

Learn what it is, and why you were hit by it, and try to explain it to the people in your life. Right now, just like you are assuming things about yourself they are making assumptions too. They don't know any better than you do. Put yourself in their place and understand you'd probably do the same thing if you didn't know what it was.

You do not have to go into details with them but if you trust them, then find what helps you understand it better and share it with them. Just begin the conversation by telling them you need help and for them to listen. 

If you don't have anyone you trust, then search online for groups that focus on the cause of your PTSD because they will understand what you survived better than other groups. If you cannot find one, then search for groups focusing on PTSD in general. Any support is better than no support at all because at least you'll understand you are not alone in what you are dealing with. Sit back, read, or listen to what they have to say, and then if you feel comfortable, try to open up. If not, then move on to another group until you find one you feel comfortable with.

Do not give up trying to find a mental health professional. If you have to wait months for an appointment, take it. There is only so much you can do without their help but at least you can begin to heal until you find one. Also, keep in mind there are online providers to help you too.

Sunday, August 27, 2023

Learn surviving the unexpected before you need to know what PTSD is

Residents Trained During First Wave of Pandemic Experienced Less PTSD

Apple Valley News
Lori Solomon
Aug 25, 2023
FRIDAY, Aug. 25, 2023 (HealthDay News) -- First-year residents training during the first wave of the COVID-19 pandemic were significantly less likely to screen positive for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) versus residents training before the pandemic, according to a study published online Aug. 22 in JAMA Network Open.

Michelle K. Ptak, from the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, and colleagues examined changes in PTSD symptoms among first-year residents training before and during the first pandemic wave (March to June 2020). The analysis included participants in the Intern Health Study (2018 to 2019 [prepandemic; 1,137 participants] and 2019 to 2020 [during the pandemic; 820 participants]).
read more here

Now that you've read that, understand that #PTSD can be prevented with knowledge before it happens, while trauma cannot be prevented, no matter how hard you try. After traumatic events, we understand what it is like to have our "normal" reality shattered. We enter into a new reality of life as a survivor of it. We have 30 days to fight the symptoms and begin the healing process. As soon as that happens the less residual changes we have to live with. After 30 days, if the symptoms are not gone or at least weaker, we may need professional help. The only way to know that is to find a mental health professional to evaluate us. (Good luck on that one when they are hard to find now.) The thing is, you do need to see one as soon as possible. It is what you do between now and when you can that can make all the difference in the world. You can begin to heal by learning what it is as soon as you figure out you've changed. Learn from others who have begun their journey into life as a survivor. The thing is, as soon as you realize you are not alone and there are many more out there just like you, it can prevent a lot of the bad stuff that can come if you know nothing about it.

One of the biggest things is anger. Considering how many thoughts crash into each other, the longer we face people judging us almost as much as we judge ourselves, anger feeds off anger. We think about the fact it happened to us and then we think about everyone we know judging us because they have no clue about what we don't even understand. How can we explain it or expect them to understand if we don't? Anger is fed when we get frustrated because waiting to get over it doesn't work, but in fact, lets it get worse claiming more and more of the person we used to be. It gets very uncomfortable having a stranger living in our heads when our bodies look the same. That's the stranger they don't understand. They get angry too because they want us to just get over it and go back to the way we were before. We want them to understand us, and at the same time, we know we'd probably react the same way they are. 

Is anger a real thing that is different from normal anger? Yep!

Anger, The Forgotten Emotion Unveiled: How Trauma Influences Problem Anger

Neuroscience News
August 26, 2023

While we know a lot about sadness and fear, anger still has an uncomfortable place in society. Most of us don’t know what anger is for, or the difference between healthy and problem anger. Summary: Anger remains a misunderstood emotion, often stigmatized and mishandled in society.
Researchers revealed a significant link between problem anger and trauma experiences, with anger serving as a common, yet overlooked symptom of PTSD. The study also highlights disparities in how men and women experience and express problem anger, particularly after trauma.


Understanding the nuances between healthy and problem anger could pave the way for better mental health interventions and societal attitudes toward this complex emotion.

Key Facts:
Problem anger is a common but poorly understood symptom following trauma, affecting up to 31% of trauma-impacted populations like veterans and first responders.
Healthy anger motivates action and should not be equated with aggression or violence, which are choices rather than emotional reflexes.
Social gender norms result in differing expressions of problem anger in men and women, making it more difficult for women to openly express their anger.
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So, the message here is simple. Get help to prevent more from happening to you. Even better is to learn all you can about surviving the unexpected before you need to know. 

Monday, August 21, 2023

PTSD and Grimm Reailty

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
August 21, 2023

Having to be home so much due to some personal things, I've been discovering series I never had the chance to watch. A couple of weeks ago, I found the Grimm series.

 Grimm
Portland detective, Nick Burkhardt, has seen some gruesome crime scenes, but nothing prepares him for the strange visions he begins seeing: seemingly regular people momentarily transforming into hideous monsters. A visit from his only living relative reveals the truth. Nick has inherited the ability to see supernatural creatures, and as a "Grimm," he is tasked with keeping the balance between mankind and the mythological. A reformed "Big Bad Wolf" becomes his greatest (and also reluctant) ally and confidant. It's not long before his work as a policeman leads Nick to the criminals he once thought were only found in fairy tales.—L. Hamre
I am a fan of horror as long as the good guys win in the end. What got me hooked was the horror of this series it was also about friends standing by your side to help you defeat the demons you have to fight. After all, that is how we heal #PTSD.

Over the weekend I was binge-watching the 3rd season when I saw The Red Menace. I wasn't ready for it to include Juliette's friend having to hide at her house because she was running away from a violent husband. Watching it, I had to take a lot of deep breaths. It brought back memories of when my first husband tried to kill me and then stalked me. To me, he was the demon I had to fight. That's how he became my ex-husband and how the marriage lasted less than two years. (I've been with my second husband since 1982.)

The thing is, we do heal from what we survive, no matter what it is. The grim reality is that we still have scars, and every once in a while, the memories leak out of those cracks and come alive. The more we heal, the less time they take away from our current reality. After that episode, I ended up watching a comedy for a break. Today, I went back to watching it and not fearing what I'd have resurrected.

Kathie Costos author of