It's running silent and angry and deep

When service turns into suffering

Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 26, 2019

Why do people decide that they are willing to take jobs that could cost them their lives? Did they just wake up one morning and think, "I'd die for that chance?"

Whenever it happened, whenever they went to begin training for the jobs dedicated to saving lives, or defending a nation, that is exactly what they decided was worth it.

Now, all of us can understand when what they try to save us from, changes everything for us. So why can't we understand what all the times they do it, does to them?

How oblivious are we? How self-centered are we when we ignore what those jobs are doing to them? We get PTSD from one traumatic event. They get PTSD from far too many of them. Then they have this twisted thought that they were supposed to be better, stronger, and beyond reach of the residual demon of destruction.

More to the point is, how oblivious are the leaders of the men and women suffering, that they do not see their jobs cause more deaths than doing the job itself?

More in the military die as a result of suicide than die doing their jobs.

More die in the National Guard and Reserves to suicide than die doing their jobs.

More Police Officers dies to suicide than dies doing their jobs.

More Firefighters die to suicide than die doing their jobs.

According to the CDC, suicides in America have continued to increase. While some want to suggest that since it has happened to everyone else, then, it is just the way things are. As pathetic as that thought is, what they do not acknowledge is fueling the loss of lives.

These men and women decided that saving lives was worth dying for...but their own life was not worth fighting for anymore.

Why? Who gave them that impression? Who allowed the thought to penetrate their brains that they were supposed to just suffer silently instead of turning to all the others they served with to help save their own lives?

Would they do whatever they could to save one of their own?

The pain is running silent, angry and deep. It is time to look in their eyes and tell them that it is time to #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife because this time, the life needing saving is yours!

Barry Manilow - Read 'em And Weep

Lyrics

I've been tryin for hour just to think of what exactly to say

I thought I leave you with a letter or a fiery speech

Like when an actor makes an exit at the end of a play

And I've been dying for hours trying to fill up all the holes with some sense

I like to know why you gave up and threw it away

I like to give you all the reasons and what everything meant

Well, I can tell you goodbye or maybe see you around

With just a touch of sarcastic thanks

We started out with a bang

And at the top of the world

Now the guns are exhausted

And the bullets are blanks

And everything's blank

If I could only find the words

Then I would write it all down

If I could only find the voice

I would speak

Oh its there in my eyes

Oh can't you see me tonight

Come on and look at me

And read 'em and weep

If I could only find the words

Then I would write it all down

If I could only find the voice

I would speak

Oh its there in my eyes

Oh can't you see me tonight

Come on and look at me

And read 'em and weep

I've been whispering softly

Trying to build a cry up to a scream

We let the past slip away

And put the future on hold

Now the present is nothing but a hollowed out dream

And I've been dreaming forever

Hoping something would eventually come

I saw your eyes in the dark

I felt your kiss on my lips

I traced your body in the air

'Til the bodies were numb

Well, I could tell you goodbye

Or maybe see you around

With just a touch of a sarcastic thanks

But now the rooms are all empty

The candles are dark

The guns are exhausted

And the bullets are blank

And everything is blank

Oh it's there in my eyes

And coming straight from my heart

It's running silent and angry and deep

Oh it's there in my eyes

And it's all I can say

Come on and look at me

And read 'em and weep

Songwriters: Jim Steinman

Read 'Em and Weep lyrics © Carlin America Inc

When will the VA explain death of Dale Farhner ?

update 

KC homicide detective investigating why veteran died after VA police confrontation

Kansas City Star 
BY ANDY MARSO 
JULY 10, 2019 

The Kansas City Police Department is investigating the death of a veteran who had a fatal brain hemorrhage after a confrontation with Veterans Affairs Police last year.

Department spokesman Jacob Becchina said the case of Dale Farhner has been assigned to Sgt. Richard Sharp, a longtime homicide detective. “The results of our investigation will ultimately be compiled and forwarded on to the prosecutor’s office for their decision as to what if any applicable charges may apply,” Becchina said. 

“There is little info that can be released at this point, as it is now an open death investigation on our end.” The VA has said the incident has already been investigated by federal law enforcement, and its officers have been cleared of wrongdoing. read it here

How did a veteran end up dead after a fight with police at Kansas City’s VA hospital?

Kansas City Star
Editorial Board
January 25, 2019

A man named Dale Farhner died in May after a confrontation with Kansas City VA Medical Center police. The VA has declined to provide any information about his death.

The U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and Kansas City’s VA Medical Center must fully disclose the facts surrounding the arrest and subsequent death of a veteran on their campus last May.

To date, unfortunately, the VA has stonewalled legitimate efforts to help the public understand what happened last spring. 

A veteran, 66-year old Dale Farhner, was detained by VA police after he apparently drove the wrong way down a driveway.

Farhner allegedly struggled with the officer and was injured or became ill. Later, the veteran was transferred to the University of Kansas Hospital, where he died.

read more here

EMS Support offers hope of healing

Special Report: Unseen and Unspoken

WAVY 10 News
By: Marielena Balouris
Posted: Jan 24, 2019

"The world got really dark. It was gray. There was no color, I felt no joy. I had absolutely no sense of the future. It dawned on my one day that I wasn't willing to fight to save my life." Lisa Crouch

PORTSMOUTH, Va. (WAVY) -- Imagine experiencing the worst moments of someone else's life -- every single day at work.

That's what many first responders do on a daily basis.

For Lisa Crouch, those traumatic experiences started to add up.

A career firefighter and paramedic, she dedicated her life to helping people in our community.

But what happened when everyone else's traumatic events started to affect her?

"You're afraid to go to sleep at night, because you know the nightmares are coming," Crouch said. "So you don't go to sleep, because you're fighting sleep because you're scared of the nightmares. But when you do fall asleep, you have the nightmares. And then you wake up the next day, and you're a mess."

Crouch spent 20 years working as a firefighter and paramedic in the Hampton Roads area. After decades of dealing with trauma, something shifted.

"The world got really dark. It was gray. There was no color, I felt no joy," said Crouch. I had absolutely no sense of the future. It dawned on my one day that I wasn't willing to fight to save my life."

Doctors found nothing physically wrong, but Crouch new something was off.

Then came her first suicide attempt.

"Die, be miserable for the rest of my life, or I can make something good out of this hell I went through," Crouch said.
read more here

What is the number of veteran suicides today?

How many veterans committed suicide?

Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 25, 2019

There seems to be a lot of assumptions on how many veterans committed suicide. If you think you know, it is unknown, therefore, you are just think you know. It is not a known number, but, in this case, it is actually worse than we can imagine.

The reports from the VA use limited data and are 2 years behind. In other words, they do not really know how many have committed suicide.

The DOD reports are behind by three months, therefore, their data is more reliable when determining if "efforts" have worked or failed.

This shows the percentages of known suicides from on of the latest VA reports.

Number of veterans living year to year decreased since 2005 and while the reported number stayed about the same, the percentage went up. Again, the data only goes up to 2016.

The Department of Defense report shows the same result. The average of Active Duty, National Guards and Reservists, has remained an average of 500 a year since 2012.

Department of Defense Suicide Prevention Office

Take a look for yourself. Add the "Active" with the total for "Reserve Component" together.

We will never know how many veterans are committing suicide today, or how many could have been saved. 

If we had actually stopped pretending to know what we did not know, then maybe we would have imagined how to change the outcome.

Largest employer of veterans....shutdown jobs and paychecks

Stress Over Shutdown Hits Veterans Who Work For The Federal Government Hard

St. Louis PBS
Chad Davis
January 23, 2019

The federal government is the largest employer of veterans in the U.S. One-third of the federal government is made up of veterans.

Donna Rogers hasn’t received a paycheck in weeks. An Army veteran who works at the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) office in St. Louis, she’s among the 800,000 federal employees around the nation working without pay or on furlough.

The lack of a paycheck is weighing on her. The partial government shutdown is now the longest running in U.S. history, with no end in sight. “Being a single mom, bills are still due, period,” Rogers said. “So whether you have kids or no kids, you have teenagers, grown folks, whatever; I mean, bills are still coming through.”

Now veterans and their advocates are worried how financial instability is affecting this group of federal workers’ mental health, especially since many veterans consider the federal government an employer of last resort.

“Being unstable financially can cause a whole lot of more issues for our veterans,” Rogers said. “Not only we came to where some of us couldn’t get jobs once we got out the military, we have to be trained because nobody was accepting the jobs we did.”
read more here

Amputee-Disabled veteran changed tire...for Gen. Colin Powell

Veteran who lost leg in Afghanistan helps his "idol" Colin Powell change tire on side of road

CBS News
BY CAITLIN O'KANE
JANUARY 24, 2019

A military veteran on his way to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on Wednesday saw someone having car trouble on the side of the road. Being the good Samaritan that he is, the veteran stopped to help — only to realize the man was his idol, Colin Powell.

"I'm not really starstruck that much. It was just a situation like, here's somebody on the side of the road who needs help, why not get out?" Anthony Maggert told CBS News. Since they were only about 5 miles away from Walter Reed, he knew the man likely didn't just look like Colin Powell — he was Colin Powell.

"The closer I got to the vehicle, I saw the face and I said, 'That has to be Colin Powell,'" Maggert said. When Powell got out of the car, Maggert realized he was face-to-face with the renowned general.
read more here

Unpaid Border Patrol Agent Saved Suicidal Man

Border Patrol agent working without pay helps suicidal man

THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Jan 24th 2019

NEWPORT, Mich. (AP) — A sheriff's deputy and a Border Patrol agent who's working without pay during the partial government shutdown are being hailed as heroes for saving a suicidal man from a Michigan bridge.

Border Patrol Agent Brian Maitland and Monroe County Deputy Brian Sroka helped save a 64-year-old man from the CN Railroad Bridge this month in Newport, The Detroit News reported.

The two were among the officers responding to a call that a man appeared to be preparing to jump from the bridge. They say that as Sroka spoke to the man, Maitland approached from behind and pulled the man from the edge of the bridge.
read more here

Virginia Navy Veteran needs help after house fire

Henrico veteran – living in tent – needs your help fixing his fire damaged home

WTVR 6 News
BY SHELBY BROWN
JANUARY 23, 2019

HENRICO COUNTY, Va. -- Fifty-six years ago Walter Flanagan was 17 years old and eager to start his stint in the U.S. Navy. The 73-year-old Henrico man has many stories to tell of his days in the military and working in the fishing industry.

He’s not nearly as comfortable talking about his current situation.

“Every morning I would get up and look at this mess and say oh, what’s going to happen?” Flanagan explained.

In mid-December, fire damaged his West End home.

Flanagan said the house used fuses.

Financial challenges kept him from being able to upgrade the electrical system. Because of that, the insurance company would not cover the home.
read more here

Iraq veteran wants the court to hear him now

Combat veteran files lawsuit for loss of hearing due to defective military ear plugs

KHOU 11 News
Author: Josh Marshall
January 22, 2019

The lawsuit, filed in the Western District of Texas, Waco Division says 3M received the exclusive contract to supply earplugs to the military between 2003 and 2012. The lawsuit alleges that 3M also failed to warn users of the defects and didn’t provide proper instructions for their use.

In 2018, the company agreed to pay $9.1 million to the U.S. Government after the government accused it of manufacturing earplugs that were too short for proper insertion into users’ ears.

HOUSTON — A Texas combat veteran wants damages for what he says a government contractor took from him: his hearing.

Retired Army Sergeant Scott Rowe deployed to Iraq from 2003 to 2004 as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom. During his deployment, Rowe says he was issued dual-ended Combat Arms™ earplugs by the U.S. military.

read more here

Triple Amputee wants to host Oscars

Local Army veteran hopes to host the Oscars

#AdamForTheOscars read story here