Which Way You Goin' Billy?

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

February 22, 2021

I was talking to a wife of a Vietnam veteran after she read my book, For The Love Of Jack and she said she wished she read it when it first came out in 2003. Her husband walked out of her life and she still loved him, but she had no idea what he was going through, or why everything went to hell.

This reminded me of when we had the worst of our years and how many times it seemed next to impossible to stay together. The thing is, even if you know what PTSD is, it is still a battle. But as with all battles, it is better if you fight them together.

That is why today the featured video is Which Way You Goin' Billy.

This story behind Which Way You Goin' Billy

Terry was a big Buddy Holly fan, and started writing the song in his pre-Poppy days with the working title "Which Way You Goin' Buddy?" He had the melody, but couldn't come up with a lyrical theme. A few years later, after he formed The Poppy Family, he hit on the idea. In our interview with Terry Jacks, he explained: "It was in 1969 and I had been reading about all these guys going to Vietnam and leaving their women behind in Seattle, and I knew somebody down there that was doing that. I thought, 'Wow, that must be awful.' These guys go and their wives or girlfriends wouldn't know whether they were coming back. That's quite a deal, going to war over there, and it was such a stupid war. So I said, 'That's what I'm going to write about: this woman that's left behind. Which way you going, Billy? Can I go, too?'"

read more here

If you want to just take my work...be ready to pay for it!

 

They used this without my permission. Pass the word so that if you see more of my work online, they have to account for it!

This took me days to do, plus I paid to go to college to learn how to do it. 

I paid for Photoshop to be able to do what I learned in college. 

I paid for the computer I did it on. 

I paid for the internet connection that I used to get it online. 

I paid for the website that put it up online.

This shows how far back this has been online....on my site!

and I don't get paid to do any of this!

heal for those you love

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 14, 2021

Cross posted from PTSD Patrol

Happy Valentine's Day! Since it is a day to celebrate love, this is a special one for those who serve and suffer for it. There is no greater love than to be willing to sacrifice for those you love. Suffering is not part of the deal and it doesn't have to be, if you consider the reason you are hurting.

The desire to serve was engrained in your soul. It comes from a place of courage and deep devotion. It is what drove you to endure the hardships that came with the job you were among the few willing to do. So why are you paying a price for it? Because the power that enabled you to do what you did, holds the same power to harm you. It is a strong emotional core that caused the desire and to feel the pain even more, but it also holds the power to help you heal PTSD.

If you were willing to die for those you love...be willing to heal for the same reason and LIVE FOR LOVE!

Read his story and learn more about this image that a lot of people thought was fake.

Never regret what you did out of love, no matter how others treated it or you. That is not your problem. It is theirs! Most of the time, they lack the ability to love as much as you do, care as much as you do, and they also lack the ability to feel all the good emotions as deeply as you do.

Use that same strength inside of you to heal for those you love and then, live a happier life because of what you did for love!

Remember...it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I Will Live For Love

Donna Summer

There's got to be a way that I can dream

Simply close my eyes and see

The worlds I've never known

What places that my soul has been 

Sometimes I need to run away and hide

And soar above the clouds and ride

I sail along so high

Till nothing's in my sky

Except the stars that fill my eyes 

And I will live for love

Where ever it may lead

It's written from the start

I know it's face by heart

I will live for love 

I'm searching for the one who holds the key

To all this crazy life I lead

Through galaxies in time

A solitary star that joins 

Sometimes I need to close my eyes and breathe

Inhale what life's been given me

A passion to ignite

A flaming heart a' flight

I close my eyes

I breathe

I'm free 

And I will live for love

Where ever it may lead

It's written from the start

I know it's face by heart

I will live for love 

The poet must have known

A lover of his own

"Cause that is when he wrote

Everything I felt for love 

And I will fight for love in life and life in love

And I will hold to things above

I'm strong enough to slay the dragon dead and there 

I will live for love 

I'm taller than the sky

This dream will never die

So only know that I

I will live for love 

The poet must have known

A lover of his own

That is when he wrote everything I felt for love

I will ever fight

I will live for life

I will live for love

Genius Lyrics

Strange Changes: Seniors and PTSD

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 8, 2021 

Cross Posted on Wounded Times

I am writing my 4th book and needed address something in the first chapter so that I could move onto the rest of the book, based on PTSD Patrol. The thing I needed to address was the "strange changes" I had gone through, from survivor, to advocate, to expert and all the way back to denial. I wasn't denying the reality of PTSD. I was denying I had it. You can read it on I didn't really escape surviving unscarred.

That is why today the featured video is, David Bowie, Changes. This is going up on PTSD and Wounded Times because most of the time when you have mild PTSD, you can stuff it, push it out of the way, ignore it by keeping busy, but it is still there. When you reach retirement age, it can hit you like a ton of bricks because while you convinced yourself that you were unscarred, it turns out you just let the scar fester.

It is OK to be surprised it happened, especially if no one told you it could. It is not OK to be ashamed of it, because there is nothing wrong with being a survivor. I'm OK with admitting it and you should be too.

So it is our turn to face the strange changes in us. To use all our knowledge to do what we always did without noticing...surviving this change too. We know that life comes with many changes and challenges. You don't get to reach retirement age without them. Let's face it. Just considering all the changes our bodies go through...this is just one more change.

The good news is, we have plenty of time to do something about it. Our kids are grown. We don't have to get up early and go to work and then come home exhausted after trying to keep up with younger workers and traffic jams. This is supposed to be our time to "enjoy the fruits of our labor" and not pay for having survived this long.

Spend time learning the rules of this road the same way you leaned how to drive your vehicle back in the early days. Remember what it was like to feel that sense of freedom when you were in the car for the first time by yourself? It was great...mixed with some nervousness. This is like that too but just as you became more confident in control of that vehicle...you'll be more confident in control of the vehicle you life on.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Changes

David Bowie

Oh, yeah

Mmm

Still don't know what I was waitin' for

And my time was runnin' wild

A million dead end streets and

Every time I thought I'd got it made

It seemed the taste was not so sweet

So I turned myself to face me

But I've never caught a glimpse

How the others must see the faker

I'm much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Don't want to be a richer man

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

There's gonna have to be a different man

Time may change me

But I can't trace time

Mmm, yeah

I watch the ripples change their size

But never leave the stream

Of warm impermanence

And so the days float through my eyes

But still the days seem the same

And these children that you spit on

As they try to change their worlds

Are immune to your consultations

They're quite aware of what they're goin' through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Don't tell them to grow up and out of it

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Where's your shame?

You've left us up to our necks in it

Time may change me

But you can't trace time

Strange fascinations fascinate me 

Ah, changes are taking

The pace I'm goin' through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Ooh, look out, you rock 'n' rollers

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

Turn and face the strange

Ch-ch-changes

Pretty soon now you're gonna get older

Time may change me

But I can't trace time

I said that time may change me

But I can't trace time

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: David Bowie

Changes lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, BMG Rights Management, DistroKid, Tintoretto Music 

Veterans "Continue To Serve" clean up after Washington Riot

DC veteran group works to clean up city after attack on Capitol, denounces insurrection
WUSA 9 News
Jess Arnold
January 9, 2021

Navy vet David Smith founded Continue to Serve after watching federal forces tear gas peaceful protesters. Now, his group is helping to clean after the Capitol riot.

WASHINGTON — Days after pro-Trump rioters stormed the Capitol, a group of veterans is working to clean the hate out of their beloved city.

Navy veteran David Smith is still grappling with the horrific images from Wednesday's insurrection.

“It almost brings you to tears," he said. "It’s terrible.”

He said it was especially disconcerting to hear some rioters claiming to be veterans as they broke into the citadel of democracy.

“They’re yelling 'I served!' as if somehow that gives them impunity and they can just storm the Capitol, which is not right," Smith said. "To support and defend the Constitution. That’s what we’re supposed to do, not a man, not a president, but the constitution.”

read more here

Birth in the manger and the crucifixion on the Cross

PTSD Patrol

Kathie Costos

December 25, 2020

Merry Christmas! While it seems there isn't much to be merry about this year, there is if you look for it.

Maybe you didn't get what you wanted, or you were not able to get what someone else wanted. Maybe you have so many worries that feeling as if you are supposed to be celebrating, seems like torture. How do you celebrate Christmas when it feels like just when you thought this year couldn't get any worse....it did?

HOPE! That is what Christmas is supposed to be all about. Listen to the Christmas songs we all grew up with. (Not the funny ones I've been putting up the last few days.) Did you notice that most of them are about hope?

Between the Birth in the manger and the crucifixion on the Cross, Jesus lived a life of awesomeness! We read all about His miracles, but we tend to forget how much He suffered.

He knew what it was like to be hungry.

He knew what it was like to be lonely.

He knew what it was like to feel abandoned.

He knew what it was like to be betrayed.

He knew what it was like to grieve so much He wept.

He knew what it was like to do the right things for the right reasons and be hated for them.

He knew what it was like to be called a liar.

Yet with even more evidence of His suffering, He lived His life serving others, preaching of God's love, performing miracles, giving hope to those who had forgotten what hope in their hearts felt like, and proving to them they were loved!

One of the greatest gifts He gave was teaching them the importance of forgiving.  It was not for the sake of those who hurt Him, or those who hurt you, but more about giving yourself a gift.

Jesus didn't let what others did to Him, stop Him from being true to what He knew was right. He didn't hate those He was willing to die for, even after they betrayed them. He asked His Father to forgive them, because they had no idea what they were doing.

If we hang onto those who hurt us, the wrong done to us, then we rob ourselves of all the good that could replace what is harmful to us. Forgive others and take away the power they retain in your heart. They do don't deserved to remain there. 

Understand that if you are doing the right thing, then it is their problem, not yours. If you did the wrong thing to them, apologize to them. If they accept it, then all is well. If they do not, then it is again their problem. 

If you are having a hard time forgiving, then pray for the strength to do it, because Jesus knows what it is like to be you!

Cross posted from PTSD Patrol

And if you are struggling with PTSD because you did the right thing...know that it is not God's judgement.

It is time to start believing you should be healing!

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

December 24, 2020

Suicide Awareness is designed for failure. The more veterans are aware of others taking their own lives, the more they believe it is hopeless to search for better days. Raise awareness that healing is a better way to live and then, more will live!

This proves that "suicide awareness" hasn't done you any good at all, but healing awareness gives you reason to hope to heal PTSD.

2020 National Veteran Suicide Prevention Annual Report
The Department of Veterans Affairs seems to imply this is good.

but the percentage went up,

and the population of veterans went down.

If you need any more evidence that "suicide awareness" has not worked, does not work and will not work, then you have no clue about much. These suicides are just from the ones they know about, but there are far more they will never count.

What is true is that therapy works and those who go to the VA are less likely to kill themselves.

 It is time to start believing you should be healing!

Retired Navy SEAL Veterans for Responsible Leadership

....Dan Barkhuff spent part of his plebe year at the U.S. Naval Academy learning the history of the Code of Conduct. “It’s something we all had drummed into our heads,” he told me recently. Barkhuff, a member of the class of 2001, had entered the Academy the way that all military members begin their service, by swearing an oath to the Constitution and vowing to protect it from enemies “foreign and domestic.” Plebes also internalized the Academy’s Honor Concept, which begins, “Midshipmen are persons of integrity: They stand for that which is right.”

During Plebe Summer—seven gruelling weeks of drills and instruction that precede the first academic year—Barkhuff and his classmates were drilled in P.O.W. case studies, particularly from the Vietnam War, the first major conflict since the creation of the Code of Conduct. They learned about James Stockdale, the Navy fighter pilot who became the highest-ranking naval officer in captivity. During his seven and a half years as a prisoner, Stockdale famously resisted. To avoid being co-opted for propaganda, he beat himself severely in the face, with a stool. Stockdale, having studied philosophy, believed that physical torture was nothing compared to what he cited Epictetus, a former slave, as calling the “greater harm” of “destroying the trustworthy, self-respecting, well-behaved man within you.”

The plebes learned about the tap code that Stockdale and the other P.O.W.s had used to secretly communicate. On the second or third day of Plebe Summer, the midshipmen were bused from the Naval Academy campus, in Annapolis, Maryland, to Washington, D.C., to tour the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. Barkhuff told me, “The message is clear: ‘This is what you are here to prevent; this is what you are now sworn to prevent.’ ”

When Trump took office, Barkhuff decided to give him a chance, hoping that the President “would rise to the level of the office.” But, Barkhuff told me, Trump was “worse than I thought he would be—and I thought he was going to be terrible.” Barkhuff often expressed his dismay on Facebook, where his posts were seen only by his relatives and Navy pals. When he discovered that other veterans shared his concerns, he created a page—Veterans for Responsible Leadership—where like-minded members could vent.

Service members are trained to remain apolitical when in uniform, but veterans are free to espouse their views. The V.F.R.L. members chatted online about diversity in the military (“transgender people should obviously be allowed to serve”), athletes kneeling during the national anthem to protest racial injustice (kneeling “is NOT disrespectful to our troops”), and the President’s divisiveness (“Trump wins only by creating controversy and firing up people. . . . It’s dictatorship 101”). Most of the members were Navy vets, yet V.F.R.L. hoped to recruit from all branches and ranks. Glenn Schatz, one of the V.F.R.L. leaders and a former nuclear-submarine officer, told me that the Trump Administration’s assault on established norms called veterans back to service. “Once you’re out of uniform it’s your obligation to speak up when you see the Constitution being violated,” he said. read more here