Here is proof why "you gotta make your own kind of music"

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 15, 2021

"The loneliest kind of lonely" is when there is no one else like you. I know that feeling because when I started working on PTSD, I didn't know anyone like me. It was lonely because we didn't have the internet and the only information I could find was at the library reading clinical books. Nothing strange about that since it was in 1982.

In 1993, I finally got a computer and then I found other people talking about PTSD. I started my first site on AOL, then it was on a website where I went by NamGuardianAngel. Back then, since I was unique, I had a lot of emails and phone calls. There were even more when I wrote my first book in 2002.

In 2006 I started making videos on PTSD on YouTube and in 2007, I started Wounded Times.

All that work was worth it even though it was never to make money. Sure I wanted to at least break even but the thing was, the work itself kept me going. Getting feed back and reading messages let me know, it mattered to the people I was trying to help.

In 2007 I posted a massive post about suicides hoping that someone with the power to do something would. Once all the groups started to pop up all over the internet and social media, the emails and messages started to go down. I was reading more and more about veterans suffering and very little being done to help them. The problem was, they were doing something about it by using them to make money.

I didn't give up and made more videos, posted more and tried to reach out as much as possible. It got lonelier and lonelier. In 2017 I started PTSD Patrol hoping that with PTSD in the title, I could gain control over the conversation again, and give veterans hope and families understanding.

Last year, it was too much for me, reading the reports of suicides going up in the veterans' community and within the military itself. My heart was breaking. I decided to stop focusing on them and started to open the work up to anyone with PTSD. PTSD Patrol passed 100,000 page views recently.

I do not follow anyone or take from anyone because I am too busy making my own "music" to march to! My work, has been stolen and copied for decades, but it doesn't bother me anymore. My mission hasn't changed because of them. The work was to offer hope and if others can reach more than I can...that's OK with me. I know that one day, they will get what they deserve for what they did with my work. I pray that those who go to their sites receive the help they were looking for and find the encouragement they need to #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD.

Wounded Times reached 5 million page views because people shared the work.

So, if you are doing anything for the right reasons, if you know that you have something to give the world, then give it freely. I am living proof that even if no one tells you that you matter, you do!

Make Your Own Kind of Music

The Mamas and the Papas

Nobody can tell you

There's only one song worth singing

They may try and sell you

Cause it hangs them up

To see someone like you

But you gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own special song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

You're gonna be nowhere

The loneliest kind of lonely

It may be rough going

Just to do your thing is the hardest thing to do

But you gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own special song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

So if you cannot take my hand

And if you must be going, I will understand

You gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own special song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

You gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own kind of song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

You gotta make your own kind of music

Sing your own kind of song

Make your own kind of music

Even if nobody else sings along

No no no no

Even if nobody else sings along

If nobody else sings along

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Barry Mann / Cynthia Weil

Make Your Own Kind of Music lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

The best way to heal is to open up

The best way to heal is to open up
Jesse had a difficult time adjusting to civilian life after deployment. He used drugs and alcohol to try to forget his experiences in Iraq. He eventually reached out for help at VA, where he received therapy and connected with other Veterans. Now Jesse’s a Peer Support Specialist and encourages fellow Veterans to reach out for help.

If you have not been in Make The Connection from the VA...you are missing a lot!

"And I could hear them,"

subject:Capitol Crimes

If a man walks naked down a city street, do police officers just let him go because he said he believed he had clothes on? No, they arrest him for committing a crime.

If someone comes to your house and demands you leave, because they said they believe they own your house, do you pack up and go? No, they get arrested for committing a crime.

Just because a President could not admit he lost the election, the US Capitol was attacked. All it took was for him to say he believed and he was believed. No proof, no facts, the courts and recounts proved the count to be valid and he did lose, but no matter what, all his supporters needed to hear was what he said he believed.

It does not matter what the criminals believed they were doing when they committed crimes against this country. It matters they did it because a man said he believed he was still the president. When the majority of the Senators voted for an investigation into what happened and who did it, but the minority said they didn't care, it says more about them, than the criminals who did it.
 

'I thought I was going to lose my life': Capitol Police officers share their harrowing January 6 stories for the first time

By Whitney Wild and Jeremy Herb, CNN
June 3, 2021

Washington (CNN)US Capitol Police Sgt. Aquilino Gonell was beaten with a flagpole. His hand was sliced open. He was hit with so much chemical spray that the liquid soaked through to his skin. During intense hand-to-hand combat with rioters on the west front of the US Capitol on January 6, there were moments where Gonell thought he might die.

"They called us traitors. They beat us. They dragged us," Gonell told CNN, in his first interview about the violence he experienced and witnessed on January 6. "And I could hear them, 'We're going to shoot you. We're going to kill you. You're choosing your paycheck over the country. You're a disgrace. You're a traitor.'"

Several hundred feet away that same day, US Capitol Police Officer Byron Evans was inside the locked Senate chamber with 100 senators and Vice President Mike Pence, hand on his weapon and mentally preparing for a life-or-death situation to come through the doors. read more here

The Capitol Police Officers still do their jobs for the same people who supported the criminals more than those who defended them with their own lives. They heard the criminal voices and saw what they did to the Capitol. They still hear their voices echoed in their nightmares and in the halls with their flashbacks. This goes far beyond what was done. The wounds are being cut deeper because some members of the House and Senate are defending criminals and the man who said he believed he won what he lost.

They have no idea when it will happen again. They are only sure it can happen because a fraction of the people still believe the criminals lying to them. The only way to provide any kind of justice is to investigate the facts. Finding every criminal trying to take over the country that horrible day is the only way to heal this nation.

There are members of the military and veterans who are being arrested and charged for participating in this. Some cannot understand how they could do such a thing after serving this country. The fact is, some of them should have never been allowed into the military. We tend to see all of them as honorable and joining for the right reasons. The truth is, a small number of them join to kill and blow things up. It is easier to understand how "Protecting and Defending the Constitution" had nothing to do with their service, when we look at the facts and hear what they say they believe.

1 in 10 defendants from US Capitol insurrection have military ties

(CNN) One in 10 people charged in the US Capitol insurrection are veterans or current servicemembers, according to a CNN review of court documents and Pentagon records.

At least 45 of the approximately 450 overall defendants have ties to the US military, according to the CNN review. The bulk of these 45 defendants are veterans, but a handful are still serving, including an active duty Marine Corps officer from Virginia who was arrested earlier this month.

A quarter of the defendants with military ties are also connected to right-wing extremist groups, like the Oath Keepers and Proud Boys. These groups had a big presence at the January 6 riot, and they've attracted significant attention from federal prosecutors investigating the attack and from Pentagon officials who are coming to grips with the problem of extremism in the military.

What does all of this say to the good members of the service who joined for the right reasons? What kind of message are they getting from their leaders?

What does this say to any veteran or current member of the military with PTSD? When so many members of the House and Senate want to give all the perpetrators protection leaving the other members of the House and Senate vulnerable to it happening again? When do they get to feel safe doing the jobs they were elected to do? When do the Capitol Police Officers get to feel as if their service and risking their lives actually matter to those they protect?

Those questions will only be answered when there is accountability and everyone involved are held accountable. Otherwise just saying you believe something is true makes everyone else suffer for the delusion.

Wounded Times Reached 5 Million!

STUNNING NEWS!

THANK YOU!

As long as I have faith that more of you can heal....there is plenty to do!

If I Ever Lose My Faith in You

Disturbed

You could say I lost my faith in science and progress

You could say I lost my belief in religion

And you could say I lost my sense of direction

You could say all of this and worse but

If I ever lose my faith in you (in you)

There'd be nothing left for me to do (to do)

Someone say I was a lost man in a lost world

You can say I lost my faith in the people on TV

You can say I'd lost my belief in our politicians

They all seemed like game show hosts to me, but

If I ever lose my faith in you (if I ever lose my faith)

There'd be nothing left for me to do

(If I ever lose my faith)

Lose my faith in you (in you)

I could be lost inside their lies without a trace (without a trace)

But every time I close my eyes, I see your face (face)

I never saw no miracle of science

That didn't go from a blessing to a curse (curse)

I never saw no military solution that didn't end up worse

If I ever lose my faith in you

If I ever lose my faith in you

(If I ever lose my faith in you)

There'd be nothing left for me to do

(There'd be nothing left for me to do)

If I ever lose my faith (lose my faith)

If I ever lose my faith (lose my faith)

If I ever lose my faith (lose my faith)

If I ever lose my faith (lose my faith)

If I ever lose my faith (lose my faith)

In you, in you

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Gordon Summer

God is closer than you think

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 3, 2021

This is going up on Wounded Times and PTSD Patrol. Wounded Times is close to hitting 5 million page views. It still gets a lot of traffic no matter if I post on it or not. That tells me that the need is still there. I am retiring from work, but not this work. I am no longer under constraints from non-profits and their rules, so from now on, I will be posting on what I feel needs to be said. Some people will like it, but others won't. While I hope you like it, if you don't, there are plenty of other sites for you. From now on, I'll be posting on both sites, as I feel the need to say something and as always, I hope what I say helps someone.

There are many times we have conversations with someone, and we never forget them. Every once in a while I'll read something or listen to someone, and instantly be reminded of "that" conversation. Today was one of those days.

Years ago I was confronted by an angry veteran. I was at an event, enjoying the music, when he came over to me, glaring at the Chaplain patch on my vest. Pure hatred shot out of his eyes. Once he started to speak it was easy to figure out he had way too much to drink. To this day, I am not sure why I had so much patience with him instead of telling him to go away.

He wanted to know why I was wasting my time on something that didn't exist. Yes, he meant that in his mind, God wasn't real. Like a lot of veterans who had seen way too much horror in the world, he said, "If there was a God, He wouldn't let all that happen. He wouldn't just sit back, let us destroy each other." At one point the thing that haunted him the most popped out. "Little kids starving and getting blown up while that so called God sits back and watches!"

I asked him why he joined the military. He said to serve his country. I asked him if he loved the country or hated it. Naturally he got ticked off then snapped, "I love it." I asked him if he still did and he said he did. I asked him why he still loved it. He responded with, "Because of what this country tries to be. They sent us to defend the people of Kuwait. We did."

I asked him if that was a good reason or a bad one. He said it was a good one.

When people see so much evil, it is hard to understand how a loving God could allow all of it to happen. They forget that He allows freewill from all humans, to make their own choices, to listen to what He says or not, to believe in Him or not and to follow where He leads, or walk away.

We also miss the fact that if they can still care, then God was there all along. It is easy to not be bothered by something if you do not have the heart to feel anything. It is not easy if your soul is being crushed by it. The very fact that veteran still cared about total strangers proved that. God was closer than he thought.

He was inside his soul. Goodness does not come out of evil. Caring about others does not come out of evil.

When we talked a little longer, I tried to get him to understand that. Over and over again he came back with blaming God. I told him that God was there, because people like him risked their lives to save others and would have dropped their weapons if the enemy dropped theirs. I told him that God was there because he was. He cried and walked away. I decided to not try to follow him because I knew he was drinking too much and I never saw him again.

When all you see is evil, that is all you think is there, but when you change what you focus on, you are able to see so much more. I remember the terrible things that happened to me, but I remember those who came to help me more. I remember feeling lost and alone, but I remember what it felt like when I was "found" and knew I wasn't alone in this world. So instead of only seeing what evil thing someone did to me, I focused on what others did for me because God was there.

Today the featured video is Bette Midler, From A Distance. God is watching us, but not from a distance. He lives in all of us and has an active part in all of our lives. When we listen, miracles happen.

If you have PTSD, I am always talking about taking care of your mind, body and spirit...your soul. I hope this fed your soul so that the next time God is trying to get through to you, you will listen.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

From a Distance

Bette Midler

From a distance the world looks blue and green

And the snow capped mountains white

From a distance the ocean meets the stream

And the eagle takes to flight

From a distance

There is harmony

And it echoes through the land

It's the voice of hope

It's the voice of peace

It's the voice of every man

From a distance

We all have enough

And no one is in need

And there are no guns, no bombs and no disease

No hungry mouths to feed

From a distance

We are instruments

Marching in a common band

Playing songs of hope

Playing songs of peace

They are the songs of every man

God is watching us

God is watching us

God is watching us

From a distance

From a distance

You look like my friend

Even though we are at war

From a distance

I just cannot comprehend

What all this fightings for

From a distance

There is harmony

And it echoes through the land

And it's the hope of hopes

It's the love of loves

It's the heart of every man

It's the hope of hopes

It's the love of loves

This is the song for every man

God is watching us

God is watching us

God is watching us

From a distance

Oh, God is watching us

God is watching

God is watching us

From a distance

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Julie Gold

From a Distance lyrics © Wing And Wheel Music, Julie Gold Music

Everytime you stand by someone else, do something for someone else out of love...God is there!
Northwell Health Nurse Choir: Gets the GOLDEN BUZZER with their EMOTIONAL Performance!

Firefighter killed by another firefighter

UPDATE

California fire crews attend graduation to support daughter of slain firefighter

read the story here

2 firefighters shot, 1 killed by off-duty colleague at LA County Fire Station 81; suspect dead
FOX 11 News
By Mary Stringini
June 1, 2021

Firefighter specialist Tory Carlon, 44, was killed in the shooting. He was a twenty-year veteran of the department, Osby said.

SANTA CLARITA, Calif. - An off-duty firefighter opened fire Tuesday at Los Angeles County Fire Dept. Station 81 in the Agua Dulce area, killing a fellow firefighter and injuring another. The suspect then fled to his home in nearby Acton, barricaded himself inside, and set the house on fire before he was believed to have been found dead.

"I never thought one of our firefighters would face danger at one of our own community fire stations," said Los Angeles County Fire Chief Daryl Osby.
read more here

Help me reach 5 million!

Wounded Times

Yesterday I took the day off for Memorial Day. It was also a day to think about this site and the work I've done for a long time. PTSD Patrol is for everyone trying to heal PTSD. This site is for those who serve this country. 

A year ago I was struggling with the fact that veterans and families in need were not coming to me anymore. There are too many other sites and groups out there, and my site ended up getting buried way behind them. The thing is, the page views keep coming no matter if I post or not. That told me the work I do is still wanted.  It is almost at 5 million page views.

While veterans always had my heart, I thought I had lost theirs. Now I know that wasn't true. It got really lonely, especially when no one was leaving comments, or letting me know it mattered to them. The day it hits the 5 million is the day I start posting here again everyday I can.

Remember the veterans who fought so you could heal #PTSD

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 30, 2021

Every Memorial Day, I cry more than most people. Almost everyone thinks about the lives lost during wars, but few think about all those who died because of the wars they fought. It also grieves me that most Americans fighting their own battles with PTSD, have no clue that the help they receive, was created because Vietnam Veterans came home and fought for all of it.

While I got involved almost forty years ago, the Afghanistan and Iraq veterans ended up getting all the attention because their generation was coming home, suffering, and committing suicide. The problem was, the majority of the veteran suicides known, were mostly over the age of fifty. In other words, pre-9 11 veterans, but few seemed to care.

In 2015 I did a video with Mike and the Mechanics song The Living Years. Vietnam Veterans Remembered was to let them know that someone was paying attention to what was still happening to them.

When I lived in Florida, I always recorded the escort of the Wall going into Wickham Park. I used that footage along with images from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan because of the lyrics of the song. Too many forget that war they fought and too many do not know they are still fighting it.

"So we open up a quarrel Between the present and the past"

No Vietnam veteran wants to take away from the newer generations. They took a vow to fight for all generations. The thing is, they don't want to be pushed aside. It should never be one generation being helped while sacrificing the other generations.

Once in a while I go back through some old emails. This is from 2006 about the book I wrote, For The Love Of Jack. I wrote it about our generation before 2001 and then self published it to help the newer generation that would follow them, and their families. That is something I learned from them...to fight for all generations.

Thank you so much for sharing your pain and story, You have helped me with my family and you dont even know it....As I read your story I was sitting there realising that you were talking about me in so many ways...the way I had become and the way I was headed. And Yes I am a combat Vet, from a long line of vets.......if I could just find out why there is no answers...........But I wanted to say thank you.......

Let the images sink in on this video because the pictures from Afghanistan and Iraq were the only ones people seemed to care about, but the older generations waited longer, suffered longer and still fought for the newer generation so that they would not end up like them.

The thing is, my generation is still fighting so that the newer generation does not have to suffer instead of healing the wounds they carried for far too long. We are retiring and dying off but doing all we can "in the living years."

When Vietnam veterans came home and fought for all the research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they were concentrating on what happens to those who fight the wars for this country. They had no clue that their efforts would end up helping everyone with PTSD. If you have PTSD and are getting help to heal, and you see a Vietnam veteran, say "thank you" to them because you have the hope of healing because of them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Living Years

Song by Mike + The Mechanics

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Oh, crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be okay

So say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

Because it's too late, it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So say it, say it, say it loud (say it loud)

Say it clear (come on say it clear)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: B.A. Robertson / Mike Rutherford (gb)

The Living Years lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC