Showing posts with label #TakeBackYourLife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #TakeBackYourLife. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

New gun covers enlisted in fight against suicide

"Cover Me Veterans" helps veterans thinking of suicide to think twice

Action 2 News
By Brittany Schmidt
May 20, 2019
Dr. Sigmund would often ask her clients to put a picture of someone or something they treasure close to their firearms when they are having dark thoughts. “It would be a prompt to look at that and think, 'Hey, I have a lot to live for. These people need me or I can count on them,'" said Dr. Sigmund.

GREEN BAY, Wis. (WBAY) - In the United States, we lose almost two dozen veterans a day to suicide, but one local woman is hoping her efforts will make veterans think twice before taking their own life.

“I think there could be no greater work than to devote time and effort giving back to the people who sign up, volunteer or answer the call to serve all of us,” said Dr. Heidi Sigmund, founder of the non-profit organization called Cover Me Veterans.

For the past 12 years, Preble High School and St. Norbert College graduate Heidi Sigmund has been helping veterans living with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

“We talk about 'suicidal ideation' a lot because unfortunately when someone is struggling with PTSD that is something that can come up,” said Dr. Sigmund.

When that happens, Dr. Sigmund asks her veterans to distance themselves from their firearms.

“It’s kind of a conundrum because we know that most veterans that choose to end their lives do so using firearms, but we are also working with people who really value their firearms, it’s a firearm culture,” said Dr. Sigmund.
Dr. Sigmund teamed up with GunSkins to create personalized vinyl skins to go on a veteran's firearms. In the kit, a veteran can upload a personal, meaningful photo to be printed and included in the order. Many pictures include children, spouses, pets and military logos.
read more here

Friday, May 17, 2019

I am ready to fight the enemy of PTSD.

Tomorrow Watch Fire starts burning hope

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 17, 2019

What started out as an opportunity to go and film this, plus the Watch Fire, ended up being much more than I planned on. Tomorrow I will be speaking at a ceremony to honor members of the Armed Forces. 

All week I have been trying to figure out what I should talk about. With 37 years crammed into my brain, there were too many topics to choose from.

I decided the one topic that does not get enough attention are military/veteran families.
Suicides keep increasing even though it is the hot topic of the decade. While it seems as if everyone is trying to change the outcome, the facts prove that they have gotten it wrong. 

I'll have to start out with the bad news. Suicide Awareness will not prevent them from happening. We have a decade of data to prove that.

Current military numbers are at a ten year high, including member of Special Forces. While the number of known veterans committing suicide have remained in the 20s since 1999, the percentage has gone up.
All this proves that raising awareness does not prevent them in the military community or in the civilian population.


Suicides are at the highest rate in decades, CDC report shows
According to a new report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 47,000 Americans died by suicide in 2017. Put another way, the suicide rate was 14 people in every 100,000 — up 33 percent from 10.5 people per 100,000 in 1999.

The suicide rate is at a 50-year peak, according to the AP. The new data shows that there were 2,000 more deaths from suicide last year than in 2016, the year when suicide became the second-leading cause of death for Americans between the ages of 10 and 34 and the fourth-leading cause for middle-aged Americans.
The thing is, it is also up in the veterans community, current military, law enforcement, firefighters and other first responders.

For civilians, most of them were dealing with some kind of mental health issue, and it was the same for those who respond to everyone else. The one thing that everyone had in common was, the simple fact they lost hope that one more day would make a difference in their life to make living worth it. They lost hope because we failed to give it back to them.

When you consider that PTSD plays a huge part in all of this, that should be the place where we begin to change the outcome.

As long as the people in charge of making the decisions and funding "efforts" keep asking the same questions to the same people, they will continue to support what has proven to have failed.

If we are going to change the outcome, we need to change what we put into it. The best place for that to begin is in our own homes.

Part of what I do is track news and government reports from around the country, as well as internationally. Over the last decade, it has gotten worse while raising awareness about numbers has prevented healing awareness from reaching those in need of hearing it.

Point Man understood this back in 1984 when they established Out Post for veterans and Home Fronts for families. We are on the front lines and that is where healing begins. So how did a Seattle Police Officer figure all this out way back then? Simple, he came back from Vietnam and knew what he needed, so it was an easy thing for him to understand other veterans. 

It was understood that veteran belong with veterans, in small groups, much like the units they served in to receive true peer support. 

Families needed it too!


We know them better than anyone else and that is why it grieves me so much to hear a family member say that they did not know how much pain someone they loved was feeling or what to do to help them.

We need to be made aware of the power families do have to change the outcome, especially for those who serve others.

The event tomorrow is in Tarpon Springs Florida. Thinking about what the topic should be, I was reminded of the Spartan women and what their job was. 

When the warriors were out fighting battles, it was the job of the Spartan women to take care of their families, crops and livestock. It was also their job to defend the homeland from invaders.

They were highly educated and trained to do battle with any enemy coming to their home front.

We need to be ready to fight this battle when they come home to us. Prepare our minds to get into gear while telling our emotions to take a nap when necessary. To know when to take something personally and when it is coming from a place of pain instead of anger.

We need to be able to wisely pick our battles with those we love, as well as when it is time to walk away and chill out.

We need to know when we need to just listen, and when it is time to communicate what they need to hear.

We need to see them though the eyes of our hearts that fell in love with them...and know that all the qualities they had, are all still there.

We need to prepare for battle the same way they prepared to fight the nations battles on other shores as well as within our communities as responders.

We need to be like minded but the only way to become ready to fight for those we love, is to stop listening to what failed long enough so we can start to hear what worked for other families.
I am Spartan
I am ready to fight the enemy of PTSD.
I will defend my home front from any and all invaders.
I will learn what I need to understand.
I will train for what I need to do.
I will ask for support as willingly as I offer it to others.
I am Spartan and my greatest power lives for those I love.
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife

There will be more of what needs to be heard but necessary if we really want to change the outcome, we have to change what we are putting into it!

If you want to know how you can learn the easier way what this battle is like and how to win it, you can read part of my life here.


Sunday, May 12, 2019

PTSD Patrol golf cart getaway

PTSD Patrol: Drive time toward divine


PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 12, 2019

First, I want to say, Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms out there. We know what it is like to feel joy when our children are happy, and what it is like to grieve when they are hurting.


Right now there is a battle going on all across the country, but you may have only heard about one side doing more harm than good. They may have had good intentions, but much like warning Jesus gave about "fruits of their deeds" facts have proven raising suicide awareness equals what the Pharisees were doing.

Yet, while their intentions may have begun from God speaking to them to act, they chose to seek the glory by publicity stunts, having fun and doing pushups, instead of lifting up the spirits of the wounded and waiting for hope.

Others, like members of Point Man International Ministries have been doing the work God called them to do since 1984, quietly and humbly. Much like the 72 others Jesus sent with his Disciples no one knows our names but those in need see the results of our work.

Yesterday at the Veterans Reunion in Wickham Park I was trying to find members of Point Man and walking around in 90 degrees of heat. Not good for someone like me and I was drained to the point where I wanted to just faint. I had a hard time finding the strength to more one more step.








As I was looking for their tent, I came across some friends of mine with a golf cart. My buddy Jonnie drove me around, but it became clear that I would not be able to find them.

We drove past a tent that caught my eye. I wanted to go and talk to the man in the tent. You know what it is like when you are tugged to do something you may not really understand why you need to, but I have learned to just surrender to that strong pull a long time ago.


Gareth Burkinshaw was speaking to another man, and I looked at the brochures on his table. As I was reading, I thought he was on the right road and passionate about providing the hope that is so desperately needed.  

I pretended to not listen to what he was saying to the man, until he took his hand to pray for him. Couldn't help it, I had a smile take hold of my face.

We talked for a bit and I was even more sure of the fact he was about doing the work of not just offering hope, but helping those in need find a way to heal. I asked Gareth if he wanted to do a video, and he agreed to meet a couple of hours later.
read more here

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Congress held another hearing on suicides without listening to different voices!

Why are they still asking why?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 9, 2019

I have been listening to these hearings for too many decades and find it disgraceful members of Congress are still asking "why" veterans are committing suicide.

When will they ever get to the point where they actually open their eyes and understand that the "two decades" they believe they have been doing something, with no progress at all. Actually, in the Veterans' Community, it is worse!

The answer is they keep asking the same questions, to the same experts and getting the same answer.

They will never actually hear us until they actually acknowledge we exist!

We hear their voices, hold their hands, and put our arms around their families when it is too late to reach them. They cannot find the help they need because Congress, the press and mega size veterans groups do not intend to seek our council.

After all, there is no money in hearing what works. They do not want to know the facts when they just swallow what the VA tells them about how many are killing themselves without having to explain how many they are not reporting on within the data that is available to anyone wishing to take the time to seek it.

They will not change a damn thing until they actually change the conversation with the people they have ignored for over 4 decades. Yes, the best experts were out there over 40 years ago when Vietnam veterans were pushing for the research.

Listen to their own words and know, they have been saying the same thing for far too many years! 

Veteran Suicide Prevention

Rep. Mark Takano said that his uncle, a Vietnam veteran, had committed suicide.
"The House Veterans' Affairs Committee held a hearing to examine ways to combat suicide among military veterans. Witnesses included officials from the National Institutes of Health, Veterans Affairs Department and the Suicide Prevention Branch of the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration."

Monday, May 6, 2019

Firefighter's last request, to not die in vain

Family stressing importance of mental health after death of Orange Twp. firefighter

ABC 6 News
by Haley Nelson
May 3rd 2019

ORANGE TWP, Ohio — The parents of a Central Ohio firefighter/paramedic are sharing a message about the importance of mental health for first responders, after his death.

Orange Township firefighter/paramedic Trever Murphy died by suicide on April 12th, after battling anxiety, PTSD and more this year. He was 28.

"We (saw) bits and pieces here and there," said mom Kathrine Murphy Hardin, "but, you could tell he was always the tough guy, 'I've got to hide this under this nice hard shell'."

His story is one of so many successes, say parents Kathrine and Gary.

"His motto was 'Go big, or go home'," said Murphy Hardin, "and that's what he did. He was top in his class in Columbus State, he excelled in high school."
read more here

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Widow sues British Army after husband lost battle to PTSD

Widow of war veteran who killed himself to sue British Army over his death


Birmingham Live
Sean Rayment and James Roger
May 5, 2019
“The Government, the NHS and the Ministry of Defence need to wake up to their responsibilities. These agencies can’t carry on as if veterans’ lives don’t matter." Jo Jukes
Jo with her late husband David in 2015

A war veteran's heartbroken widow is to sue the NHS, Ministry of Defence and police in a landmark case.

Jo Jukes is grieving her husband David's tragic death.

The 47-year-old says it could have been ­prevented.

David, a Staffordshire Regiment war veteran, killed himself.

The 49-year-old was a lance corporal in the Staffordshire Regiment, and served in nearly every major British deployment in the last 25 years.

These included Iraq, Afghanistan and Bosnia.

Since his death, a further 60 veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are believed to have killed themselves.

Jo wants better communication between the agencies responsible for his mental health.

The mum-of-two is believed to be the first widow to plan legal action following the suicide of a veteran with post-traumatic stress disorder.
read more here

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife

Friday, May 3, 2019

Marine veteran promotes cause through song

Victim's brother asks for help in preventing police suicides


WCPO News
May 03, 2019

So far this year, 73 police officers have committed suicide in the United States. Suicides are outpacing line of duty deaths for the fourth year in a row.

The brother of a local police officer who took his own life is asking for support for their families and for the cause of treating PTSD among police.

You can help by buying a T-shirt and listening to a song being released as a single on Friday.

The song is "Superman Falls" by John Preston. The song and the T-shirt honor Michael Preston, a local veteran and police officer who took his life in 2016.

WCPO introduced you to John Preston and his songs in 2017.

Michael Preston, a husband and father of four, was a Marine veteran who worked as a deputy for Boone County and then Newport Police.

Post-traumatic stress was not really dealt with during his years of service.
read more here

Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Sergeant Lori Rice Hopes Her Suicide Can Prevent Future Officer Suicides

Sister Of Chicago Police Sergeant Lori Rice Hopes Her Suicide Can Prevent Future Officer Suicides


CBS Chicago
By Dana Kozlov
April 29, 2019

CHICAGO (CBS) — Chicago Police Sergeant Lori Rice’s sister is still reeling, trying to make sense of her sister’s suicide, but she hopes to help other officers now.

Leann Starr says when it becomes OK for one officer to take his or her own life, it becomes OK for another.


She wants to help prevent that.

“I think I still have to be her voice,” Starr says.

It doesn’t really help Starr to talk about her sister’s suicide. The 82 days since the veteran Chicago police sergeant took her own life have been devastating.

“I make dinner, and I listen to my daughter’s news of the day. And so I think I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, but suicide leaves a hole no matter who it is,” she says. “And you’re never the same.”

But Starr is slowly making sense of Rice’s last days, weeks and months.

She just made a video for the Chicago Police Department. It’s an outreach to other officers who may be struggling.

“That there is help. That they reach out for the help. And I’m passionate about families recognizing that these superheroes by day are just regular people at night.”
read more here

Monday, April 29, 2019

Suicide Awareness spreading defeat too many lives at a time

We were prepared to win battle to save lives


Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
April 27, 2019


“Support for Suicide Prevention Coordinators Act” filed April 18, which is intended to ensure that those VA staff members “have the tools and resources they need to provide veterans with critical mental health resources.” Anthony Brindisi
That was on Connecting Vets Radio  the other day. Why is it that after over 40 years of talking about preventing suicides and healing veterans, it is worse than ever?

They went into battle without the proper weapons!

When you have enemy surrounding you, you need to hit them from all directions with everything you have. If you do not have enough, you get more!

I wrote PTSD Claims More Lives. Why? on my old site and there was a reply from a Mom who lost her son...Joshua Omvig. It is his loss that caused members of Congress to pass a bill in his name to prevent suicides. It was signed by President Bush...in 2007.

Also in 2007, older veterans were doing what they could to #BreakTheSilence and help others heal. One of them described it as "pulling a raw scab off my heart."

But of all the news from back then, this was from my heart because of service members like Joshua Omvig and all the others I was posting about...and still am.

TO LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR THE SAKE OF  HIS FRIENDS


Do you think God abandoned you still? Come on and admit that while you were in the center of the trauma, you either felt the hand of God on your shoulder, or more often, never felt further from Him. In natural disasters, we pray to God to protect us. Yet when it's over we wonder why He didn't make the hurricane hit someplace else or why the tornadoes came and destroyed what we had while leaving the neighbors house untouched. We wonder why He heals some people while the people we love suffer. It is human nature to wonder, search for answers and try to understand.
In times of combat, it is very hard to feel anything Godly. Humans are trying to kill other humans and the horrors of wars become an evil act. The absence of God becomes overwhelming. We wonder how a loving God who blessed us with Jesus, would allow the carnage of war. We wonder how He could possibly forgive us for being a part of it. For soldiers, this is often the hardest personal crisis they face.
They are raised to love God and to be told how much God loves them.

For Christians, they are reminded of the gift of Jesus, yet in moments of crisis they forget most of what Jesus went through.
Here are a few lessons and you don't even have to go to church to hear them.


Matthew 8:5-13)As he entered Caper'na-um, a centurion came forward to him, beseeching him and saying, "Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, in terrible distress." And he said to him, "I will come and heal him." But the centurion answered him, "Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to one, 'Go,' and he goes, and to another, 'Come,' and he comes, and to my slave, 'Do this,' and he does it." When Jesus heard him, he marveled, and said to those who followed him, "Truly, I say to you, not even in Israel have I found such faith. I tell you, many will come from east and west and sit at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, while the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness; there men will weep and gnash their teeth." And to the centurion Jesus said, "Go; be it done for you as you have believed." And the servant was healed at that very moment.

This sounds like a great act Jesus did. You think about the Roman Centurion, powerful, commanding, able to lead men into combat, perhaps Jesus even knew of the other men this Centurion has killed. Yet this same man, capable of killing, was also capable of great compassion for what some regarded as a piece of property, his slave. He showed he didn't trust the pagan gods the Romans prayed to but was willing to trust Jesus. 

Yet when you look deeper into this act, it proves that Jesus has compassion for the warriors. The life and death of Jesus were not surprises to Him. He knew from the very beginning how it would end. This is apparent throughout the Old Testament and the New Testament. He knew He would be betrayed, beaten, mocked, humiliated and nailed to the cross by the hands of Romans. Yet even knowing this would come, He had compassion for this Roman soldier.  
The Romans had tortured and killed the Jews since the beginning of their empire as well as other conquered people. The Roman soldiers believed in what they were doing, yet even with that, there was still documentation of them suffering for what they did.
Ancient historians documented the illness striking the Greeks, which is what we now call Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There is evidence this illness hit every generation of warriors. Jesus would be aware that saving the Centurion's slave, because of the faith and trust He placed in Jesus, would be reported from soldier to soldier. Jesus showed compassion even to the Romans. 

How can we think that He would not show compassion to today's soldiers? How can we think that He would look any differently on them than He did toward the soldiers who would nail Him to the Cross?
God didn't send you into combat. Another human did. God however created who you are inside. The ability to be willing to lay down your life for the sake of others was in you the day you were born.

While God allows freewill, for good and for evil, He also has a place in His heart for all of His children. We humans however let go of His hand at the time we need to hold onto it the most. 

When tragedy and trauma strike, we wonder where God was that He allowed it to happen. Then we blame ourselves. We do the "if" and " but" over and over again in our own minds thinking it was our fault and the trauma was a judgment from God. Yet we do not consider that God could very well be the reason we survived it all.
PTSD is a double edge cut to the person. The trauma strikes the emotions and the sense that God has abandoned us strikes at the soul. There is no greater sense of loss than to feel as if God has left you alone especially after surviving trauma and war. If you read the passage of Jesus and the Roman, you know that this would be impossible for God to do to you. Search your soul and you will find Him still there. 

For the last story on this we have none other than the Arch Angel Michael. The warrior angel. If God did not value the warrior for the sake of good, then why would He create a warrior angel and make him as mighty as he was?Michael has a sword in one hand and a scale in the other. God places things in balance for the warriors. 

And in John 15:12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

When it comes to waging war, issuing orders, God will judge the hearts and minds of those who sent you and He will also know your's. If you feel you need to be forgiven, then ask for it and you will be forgiven. Yet if you know in your heart the basis of your service was that of the willingness to lay down your life for your friends, then ask to be healed. Know this. That if Jesus had the compassion for a Roman how could He have any less compassion for you? 
Because the military is in enough trouble already trying to evangelize soldiers for a certain branch of Christianity, understand this is not part of that. It's one of the benefits of having I don't care what faith you have or which place of worship you attended. If you were a religious person at any level before combat, your soul is in need of healing as well. There is a tremendous gift when the psychological healing is combined with the spiritual healing. If you have a religious leader you can talk to, please seek them out.

Kathie Costos
We were not just prepared to wage war against the demon known as PTSD, we were prepared to kick the crap out of it!

Imagine what it is like to read the news reports, day in and day out, with too many easy assumptions and too few solutions.

While the number of "22" is not even close to reality, reporters still use it, assuming the VA has no reason to lie or manipulate data. Actually, they did not even try. It is just because reporters failed to read the data to discover how many were missing.

While the DOD and the VA heads keep saying suicide is a "top priority" to them, they never seem to be able to explain how, according to the VA, the number was 20 a day when there were over 5 million more veterans living at the time and no one out there pulling stunts...having fun while "raising awareness" it was happening.

Ya, that really made sense to millions of people writing checks and clicking the donate button. 

I feel even worse knowing that what the veterans need is simple and basic but the balderdash is brandished as if it was loaded like an Ontos with marshmallows instead of something that would actually work!

Right now I feel like Yoshio Yamakawa and Tsuzuki Nakauchi who did not know WWII ended and they lost.

We were prepared to win the battles for veterans when they came home, but everyone else was AWOL (Acting With Out Learning) what would actually save the lives on the line.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Australia: Afghanistan veteran found dead in hotel room on Anzac Day

Army veteran who struggled with 'demons' after returning from battle in Afghanistan is found dead in his hotel room on Anzac Day


Daily Mail
BRETT LACKEY FOR DAILY MAIL AUSTRALIA
27 April 2019

"Things got so bad, I got so desperate. At the end of the day the system doesn't know how to handle PTSD. The doctors, they just prescribe drugs because they don't know how to handle it."


'It's become an epidemic with our boys. It's tragic. Then to watch your own son (go through it). The demons in their heads is intense. It took a long time before anything happened. These boys are juggling drug abuse, alcoholism, but the biggest thing they are battling is their PTSD.'


An army veteran who struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder after returning from Afghanistan was found dead in his hotel room on Anzac Day.

Bradley Carr, 34, lived in Cairns but had been on the Gold Coast seeking mental health treatment when he was found in his hotel room bed at about 10am on Thursday, according to The Age.

The cause of death has yet to be determined, however, his mother, Glenda Weston, has spoken about her son's lengthy battle to readjust to life after war.
read more here

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife

Sunday, April 21, 2019

Do you know the worth of your vehicle?

Are you worthy?

Wounded Times and PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 21, 2019

(cross post today)

Today is Easter. The day of a life rising from the dead. A life given, so that others may live and be made worthy by faith in Jesus.

The night before, the people who heard the voice of Jesus must have been wondering why they thought He was telling the truth, when His life ended the way it did. They must have been crushed.

Yet the truth was known by a cave left empty and all He said was once again believed.

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."
Albert Einstein

He died for others, but He also lived for others. He did not just come to die and rise, but to lift us up and know, that we were loved. God knew we were here and in need of help, as much as we were in need of hope.

Jesus did what He was sent to do. Did you? So many times we think maybe we were wrong about what we were sent here to do. We appear to be failures to others, yet, no matter what others think, we rise and do it all over again.

If you are struggling between what other say you should do, and what you know you need to do, I have something that may help encourage you to stay true to what you were created for.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
Jeremiah 29:11-13 New International Version (NIV)
I made the choice to follow where I was being led. I knew it would not be easy, but I did not know it would be so damn hard.

When I was training to be a Chaplain with the IFOC, David Vorce said that Satan was busy when we run up into road blocks. I just never thought those road blocks would be laid by people who were supposed to be "friends" of mine.

While I left the IFOC, I have not left the mission that I was prepared to do. I focused on first responders and veterans. I still do. After 37 years, it is in my DNA, so there is no getting away from it.

A few years ago, someone I thought was a friend, stood up during a large gathering after one of the members had committed suicide. She made this announcement. "22 veterans a day are committing suicide and I'm gonna do something about it."

It was almost as if she just woke up one day and decided that she suddenly had the power to do what I had been doing for over 3 decades. You know, like I had done nothing. Sick to my stomach, I could not even listen to the rest of what she had to say.

What I did hear, was an impassioned plea from one of the other members. "Please stop talking about it. It hurts my heart." She was a friend of the member who took his own life.

Well that caused the woman to become enraged and she snapped back at the grieving friend.

I drove home in tears. I couldn't figure out why that "friend" had not just dismissed my work, but pretended I was not even worthy of her learning anything from me.

The next day, I called the President of Point Man, Dana Morgan, and told him what happened. My heart was being ripped out, my ego was so beaten down that I doubted all the work I had done, but the worst thing was, my soul was so crushed, I was not sure if I was supposed to keep doing it or not.

It was hard enough to fight this battle, mostly alone, but it had been one betrayal too many for me.

Dana said he would ask the other leaders of Point Man to pray that I find the answer.

The next morning I felt a little better but, still unsure, I asked my boss at work if she would have her prayer group help me find the answer.

As I was talking about my own pain, I cried. When she started to ask me questions about veterans, I stopped crying. When I explained to her how they can go from being willing to die for the sake of others, to not wanting to be here anymore, that soul crushing feeling started to lift.

By the time I got home, the weight was gone.

I called Dana and told him that I had my answer. Thinking about myself, caused me great emotional pain. Doubt caused by someone else left me believing I was wrong to even try. Doing what I had done for so many years, filled me with peace. I knew that whatever would come, would be OK, because as long as I knew what God wanted of me, I could deal with it.

"Therefore I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called." Ephesians 4:1
Dana asked me if I told my boss yet. I told him I would in the morning.

When she came in, I started to explain what happened, but she started laughing. The look of puzzlement must have been clear because she responded. "You don't get it. As soon as you started talking yesterday, I started praying."

I got my answer. No matter what comes, I know I am doing what I am supposed to do. While it would be so much easier to receive more help than I am getting, it does not stop me from doing it.

Maybe the lack of help I receive is so that I can share this extra burden with those who are going through the same type of thing.

It is really hard to see so many others beating their own chest and getting attention for a bunch or words that mean absolutely nothing.  They are all about themselves and not the cause they claim to be invested in.

When the end result is a worse situation for those they claim to want to help, it is then others figure out that they came to this "ministry" unarmed and their foolish ways were discovered.

Well, a few days after that encounter with the woman who almost made me give up, a younger veteran was struggling. He needed my help. I gave it and he started to heal.

Another veteran needed help. A wife of a veteran needed help. A wife of a firefighter needed help. More and more needed help and I was able to be there because people were praying for me and the mission I was put into position to do.

I am doing what I can with what help I have been given. Sure, I get upset knowing I could be doing so much more if I did receive help but that is not the reality I live with. 

We understand that it is hard to go without help, so we understand those seeking it from us. I know the worth of my vehicle even though others think it is a worn out antique.

We know what it is like to find the courage to ask for help, as well as, what it is like to not often find it for ourselves. We know what hardships and struggles are, what doubt feels like and above all, we know what would comfort us, what words would help us find relief.

That is the lesson I have a hard time remembering during times such as this, but I've been on this road to long now, that I can also remember what it was like when someone did show up to help me out, offer comforting words, or let me know I was there when they needed someone the most.

Know that whatever you do, you are doing if for the right reasons and the price you pay, helps you do it far better than if you had it all handed to you on a silver platter.



Any crown I've ever worn
I lay it down
Any praise I've ever gained
I give it all to You
For there's nothing in this world
That can compare
For You alone are worthy
You alone are worthy
You are near to all who call
Upon Your name
Ever giving, ever loving
You remain the same
For You open up Your hands
And satisfy
I give You all the glory
Give You all the glory
You are worthy oh Lord
Of all honor
You are worthy to receive
All praise
In Your presence I live
And with all I have to give
I will worship You
Honor You
Glorify Your holy name
I will worship You
Honor You
Glorify Your holy name
Songwriters: Darlene Joyce Zschech You Are Worthy lyrics © Music Services, Inc