Instead of dismissing your own emotions, honor what you are feeling

Break Pads

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 14, 2019

When you are grieving, sometimes you need to apply the brakes...so that you can #BreakTheSilence of what you are going through. 

Most of the time people do not know what to expect from themselves. You may judge yourself, or expect more from your core.

Instead of dismissing your own emotions, honor what you are feeling so you can being the healing.

If you are angry, then honor it. I yelled at my Dad at the cemetery a few days after his funeral. I chewed out my brother at the funeral home before everyone else got there. I was angry because I wanted them to still be here.

If you are sad, then honor that. They were a part of your life and they still can be in your memories of them. There comes a time when those memories will stop being painful reminders they are gone. The memories become fond ones of times when they were here.

Do not judge yourself or let anyone else judge you for not grieving enough or too much, or taking too long to "get over it" because they did it another way.
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Clean gunk out of your engine

PTSD Patrol Clean gunk out of your engine

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 24, 2019

What is gunk in your engine? Well, if it is the engine is in the vehicle you drive, then it is usually oil. If it is in the engine that is in the "you" vehicle you live in, then it is anything negative that is clogging your way toward healing.

If you keep letting your past dictate all the reasons to not get up in the morning, then you are clogging up the imagination you need to fuel healing.

5 Symptoms of Oil Deposits
How Stuff Works
BY AKWELI PARKER
...We know that a sloppy diet and too little exercise cause sticky deposits called cholesterol to block our arteries. But what's the culprit behind oil gumming up our engine -- isn't oil one of the good guys when it comes to car engine health?

Well, yes, it is. But when oil is subjected to a high enough temperature, it can solidify and become baked onto the surface of whatever is close by, like for instance, a narrow engine oil passageway or critical engine parts themselves. It can also lose its viscosity and become a tar-like goop that makes life hard for your vehicle's engine.

When enough of these deposits collect, the possibility of a vehicle engine underperforming or even dying, go up dramatically. Thick or solid oil can have the reverse effect that clean, normal oil has. Instead of cleaning, lubricating and cooling your engine, it can pollute, hinder and contribute to overheating.

read more here 

PTSD Patrol: Antique vehicles wanted

PTSD Patrol Turbo charge your healing

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 2, 2019

It seems as if everyone is talking about younger veterans with PTSD...forgetting that the majority of veterans seeking help for PTSD are over the age of 50. Unfortunately, that age group are also the majority of the known suicides. What did you expect me to say when they are also the majority of veterans in our country?

OK, so, if you are driving an antique, you know it takes a lot more to keep it running than if you had a new car with all the techno crap you really don't need. 

When you figure out that there is something seriously wrong with your vehicle, you can keep it in the garage, but that does not solve the problem. You ask some buddies what they think could be wrong, but you won't get the right answer unless you are able to mimic the noise that is in the engine.

Often, you will search online, then discover what you think it may be. You may make an appointment with the mechanic (docs at the VA) and get a diagnosis.
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Plugging in!

PTSD Patrol: Participating in the journey

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 24, 2019

I have been unplugged for a few days to spend time with some very dear old friends of ours. Over the weekend we talked about old times and how our lives have changed since we were young.

My friend Ellen and I shared how much we have taken active places in the lives of our husbands and unwilling to settle for just being along for the ride. 

This morning I was wondering why so many younger family members are not taking an active part in the journey too. Then it occurred to me that maybe no one ever explained to them how much power they do have over everything.

Passenger Passive is just along for the ride and not paying attention to where they are going, or noticing how they got to where they were.

Passsenger: a person who is traveling in a vehicle but is not operating it or working as an employee in it.

Captain Cruel takes advantage of the vulnerability of the person they are with instead of helping them.

Navigator Knowing charts the way to get everyone to their destination as quickly and safely as possible.

Navigator :a person in a vehicle who decides on the direction in which the vehicle travels.

Point Man Partner acknowledges the needs of someone they care about and finds a way to make their journey a much happier trip.

So which one are you? If you are a family member, you are part of the journey and you can change the trip for everyone. 

Yes, without knowing it, you play a major role in all of this. You can make it worse for everyone or you can make it so much better.

While peer support is one of the best ways for recovering from PTSD, what Point Man International Ministries discovered is, family support works better than anything.

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What is your dash telling you?

It is the middle that matters

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 17, 2019

When you look at your dash, there are a lot of things it can tell you. In the center, you see how far you've traveled and how fast you are going at this very moment.

THE DASH by Linda Ellis is one of those poems that is usually delivered when it is too late for the person being remembered to benefit from. It is not so much for the person being buried, but for those gathered to be able to think about their own lives.

This is part of that poem.

"He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years."

While we have no control over when we arrive into this world, we do have control over what we do between the dates used to acknowledge we were here at all.

"FOR THAT DASH REPRESENTS ALL THE TIME THEY SPENT ALIVE ON EARTH AND NOW ONLY THOSE WHO LOVED THEM KNOW WHAT THAT LITTLE LINE IS WORTH."

Question; What is your line worth? Can you see it all or is it mostly a blur with symbols you cannot really understand?
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#BreakTheSilence, no one can help you because you will not give them the chance

You are not driving an empty bus

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 10, 2019

Last week on PTSD Patrol Change the Road You Are On I used a video of the road, filmed at 5:00 am, showing how lonely the road can be when there are only a few people on it.

That is the way it can seem when you have PTSD.  You can feel as if you are alone, but the truth is, everyone you know is tied to you in one way or another.

I used the road film because my ego took over. I have been in a lot of pain again because of my back. I didn't want anyone to see me in pain, so, I used that video. Ashamed of myself ever since. Not because of being in pain, but because I wanted to hide it from everyone.

Yes, imagine that! The one who is constantly preaching on letting people know you are hurting, did a lot of work to hide it. No one ever said I was the brightest bulb in the box.

So, yesterday, the pain is actually worse than last week. I apologized for my stupid decision, and then went on to talk about how if you do not #BreakTheSilence, no one can help you because you will not give them the chance.

If you think that deciding to leave the pain by committing suicide, you need to be aware of a so many things, it would take a year to post! 

The first thing is, picture yourself as a bus driver. They do not have empty busses for very long. More and more people travel where the driver takes them. That is the way your life is. 

More and more people are connected to you. Family, friends, people you work with, are all obvious connections, but there are many more. Add to the list of passengers your family members' friends. Your friends' families. Your coworkers' families and friends. See where I'm going with this?

read more here

The road you can choose is waiting

Change the road you are on 

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 3, 2019

Whatever happened to you that started PTSD was out of your control. That is the only way to get PTSD. It hits you! It is not something that started inside of you. It just ended up there.

The fact you have PTSD means you survived something that could have killed you. Isn't it time you started to live like a survivor?

You have the ability to determine your own destiny from this moment on. It is up to you to suffer in silence, more afraid to ask for help, than you were of what set off PTSD in the first place, or, take control of the rest of your life.

Just like learning how to drive your vehicle and control it, you can learn how to drive your life and heal it. Just spend as much time discovering a new way of living instead of spending so much time suffering.

It isn't easy and will take a lot of hard work. Then again, it has not been easy feeling as if all hope has vanished. I can assure you it has not. You just stopped looking for it.
read more here

Personal note: I am in a lot of pain right now with my back and did not want to show it on video. I just wanted to let you know that no matter how much you are hurting, there is always something positive to find if you look for it.

It is time to take another road!

Stay out of the wrong lane

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 20, 2019

This morning I was thinking about how people in the wrong lane of traffic can mess up everyones ride.

I go into work at 5 am, which is great most mornings. With only a few cars on the road, it is really a nice commute. That is, until I get behind someone without a clue where they are going, and blocking the passing lane.

That happened Friday. The driver in the right lane was obeying the speed limit. The driver traveling in the passing lane was doing a little under the speed limit. There was no safe way to pass either of them.

Soon there was a group of us trapped behind them.

That is the way it is in life too. You are having a nice trip until someone gets in your way and blocks the road ahead of you, making it take longer to get to where you need to go.

If you are hearing about how many veterans someone thinks committed suicide today, you need to wonder what their point is. Who does it help when they just guess? How serious is the subject them when they cannot answer any questions? 

The most obvious question they should have been finding the answer to, is, "What will change the outcome?"

read more here

Getting rid of the stigma of PTSD is like melting black ice.

PTSD Patrol Sunday Morning Empowerment Zone
Kathie Costos
January 13, 2019

Black ice looks like a puddle but it makes the driving conditions dangerous. The stigma attached to PTSD is like black ice in your life. Facts can melt it so you can heal it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife
Read it here and watch the video of my office back in order again.

PTSD Patrol Time for You Turn

Making A YouTurn

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 6, 2019

If you risked your life protecting and saving others, and you give up on yourself, what kind of message does that deliver to us?

Over 7 million Americans have PTSD because we survived something that could have killed us. It didn't because someone like you put your lives on the line to make sure that did not happen.

So now, when the life you need to save is your own, it is time to make a YouTurn and ask for help because if you don't, then we'll wonder how much we are supposed to feel ashamed you got PTSD because of us!
read more here

PTSD Patrol: It came on a pink scooter

Pink scooter fuel by love

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 30, 2018

Every once in a while, I am inspired beyond what words I can add to a topic. In one of those moods, where words just did not come, I searched some of my older videos. It came on a pink scooter. 

I was thinking about a lot of miracles that still happen and remembered the story of a homeless veteran. It is one of those stories that you think cannot be true. But it is. I know because I was at his funeral.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


Vietnam Vet Andrew Elmer Wright found a home as a homeless vet
A simple casket with an American flag for Vietnam Veteran Andrew Elmer Wright.

A simple bouquet of flowers was placed with a simple photo a church member snapped.

By all accounts, Andrew was a simple man with simple needs but what was evident today is that Andrew was anything but a "simple" man.

A few days ago I received an email from Chaplain Lyle Schmeiser, DAV Chapter 16, asking for people to attend a funeral for a homeless Vietnam veteran. After posting about funerals for the forgotten for many years across the country, I felt compelled to attend.

As I drove to the Carey Hand Colonial Funeral Home, I imagined an empty room knowing how few people would show up for a funeral like this. All the other homeless veteran stories flooded my thoughts and this, I thought, would be just one more of them.

When I arrived, I discovered the funeral home was paying for the funeral. Pastor Joel Reif, of First United Church of Christ asked them if they could help out to bury this veteran and they did. They put together a beautiful service with Honor Guard and a 21 gun salute by the VFW post.

I asked a man there what he knew about Andrew and his eyes filled. He smiled and then told me how Andrew wouldn't drink the water from the tap. He'd send this man for bottled water, always insisting on paying for it. When the water was on sale, he'd buy Andrew an extra case of water but Andrew was upset because the man didn't use the extra money for gas.

Then Pastor Joel filled in more of Andrew's life. Andrew got back from Vietnam, got married and had children. His wife passed away and Andrew remarried. For some reason the marriage didn't work out. Soon the state came to take his children away. Andrew did all he could to get his children back, but after years of trying, he gave up and lost hope.

read more here 

Christmas delivery unlike any other

Christmas Delivery

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 22, 2018

***Note to readers: I am unplugged until 12/27 to plug into my family for Christmas.***

This time of year it seems as if everyone is either doing the holiday or the Holy Day. Big difference when you think about it. The holiday is tied to buying stuff, eating stuff and having fun. The Holy Day is remembering why the day came to be in the first place.

The Christmas Delivery did not come on Christmas day but it is the day we celebrate the delivery arriving into the world.

The Christmas Delivery did not come on a jet, or in a grand way at all. This Delivery came on the back of a donkey, with Mary and Joseph. Oh, sure you know the rest of the story and the gifts that the Wisemen brought. But did you ever think of the rest of the story?

The birth of Jesus was not meant to be anything other than what it was. He came into this world to deliver a message, and then, deliver His life as payment for what sins He never committed, because we managed to do all of them.

There are so many other things to be said about what Jesus was, including, a homeless person depending on the kindness of strangers. But what He inspired, was clear even in war.
read more here

Did Spark of Hope plug into PTSD Patrol?

I am really glad that my words are helping another charity since this group started long after I posted Hope spark plug works! It was posted in April to go with the theme of PTSD Patrol. 

Spark of Hope Offers Free Mental Health Screenings to Veterans and First Responders

During the Holiday Season South Florida behavioral health treatment center is committed to improving the mental wellness of our service men and women

MARGATE, Fla., Dec. 20, 2018 /PRNewswire/ -- Spark of Hope, a Joint Commission Accredited behavioral health treatment center located in Margate, Florida, wants veterans and first responders to know they are not alone during the holidays. The Center, which recently launched its Veterans and First Responders in Recovery Program for substance abuse treatment and mental health counseling, is offering complimentary mental wellness screenings to all active duty or discharged veterans and first responders in the South Florida area. Each screening takes 45 minutes to an hour to conduct, and it consists of a bio-psychological assessment, suicide screening, mental health examination, depression inventory, and a comprehensive behavioral health assessment. For veterans and first responders dealing with acute symptoms of PTSD, depression and anxiety, Spark of Hope offers neuro-psychological testing, biofeedback, neuro-feedback and brain mapping on a case-by-case basis. To be eligible, a veteran or first responder must present proof of service such as an active duty or service member ID and DD-214 for discharged veterans. read the rest here

From Spark of Hope
After the success of our inaugural event, the Broward Mental Health Summit (BMHS) this past September, we couldn’t wait to get started on the planning of our next event, the 2019 Broward Mental Health Summit which will take place at the same Charles F. Dodge Center in Pembroke Pines on September 12, 2019.

"Little spark cuts through fog"

Spark out of the darkness

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 16, 2018

Yesterday I attended a Wreath Laying ceremony at All Faiths Memorial Park. A large crowd gathered together on a rainy morning to remember veterans.

They did not know most of veterans, but they took their wreath, read the names their so they
would be remembered.

They were not all famous like Robert Miller, who was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor for sacrificing his life to save others in Afghanistan. Some died many years after serving, yet each one mattered.
read more here

PTSD Patrol Hope TripTik

Finding hope to take the trip

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 9, 2018


No matter how many different ways you can discover how to get to where you want to be, you will not look for them, unless you have hope that place exists. The road to heal is real! #CombatPTSD and #TakeBackYourLife

When I was going on a road trip, first I had to have the will to go, then get directions on how to get there from where I was. 

Back then, we went to the gas stations to get a road map. Not easy to read and really too large to hold it while sitting in a vehicle. Trying to refold it was nearly impossible!

AAA came out with TripTik planners. We'd go, tell them where we wanted get to, and they would plan out the entire trip. We'd flip the pages until we arrived. To get back home, we'd just flip the pages backwards.

Now we have GPS directions in our cars and on our cell phones. Makes getting where we want to go easier to find.

Where do you want to go? Sometimes find out how to get someplace is not your biggest problem. Sometimes, having the desire even think about changing where you are is the hardest thing to find.

When I was new on the road, it did not make much sense to look both ways before taking a right turn, because I assumed no one would be coming the other way.

That is, until I almost hit someone trying to cross in front of me. Then I understood there could always be something I am not seeing, because I did not look for it.


It is the same way with answers. First you need hope there is an answer to find for whatever you want to know, or change. If there is no hope, you will not look.

Hope is what gets us moving each morning. It causes us to open our eyes, but it is the desire to seek something better, that begins the search for what we hope for.

If you know there is a better road to take, then you will look for it. If you know that other people have been there, and can show you the way, you are not traveling alone.
read more here

PTSD Patrol Ending Friction

Avoiding Engine Friction

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 2, 2018

When you neglect all the things that go into making your vehicle run properly, you get engine friction.

techflourish.com

Heat and Friction: Primary Enemies of Car Engines
Engines, Heat, and Friction
“Friction, according to its encyclopedia description, is the force that opposes the relative motion or tendency of such motion of two surfaces in contact. When it comes to engines and automobiles, the term holds a deeper relevance to car performance.“

Heat and friction results from the rubbing of the many parts of an internal combustion engine. (your mind)

A modern internal combustion engine is comprised of dozens of moving parts. Without proper oiling, these parts run against each other with tremendous speed, creating friction which then leads to heat. (anger) This heat can wear the mechanical parts of an engine and lead to bad performance under the hood.

Worn parts due to friction cause havoc with gas mileage and emissions since the engine is pushed to work harder. Wear on the engine’s vehicle is a primary known cause of less efficient burning of fuel.

When the engine that drives everything in you is neglected, you get more friction in your life too.

If you understand the basic fact of PTSD, it takes some friction away. That is the fact that PTSD hit you and happened because you survived what the event tried to do to you. So why let it win now?

Friction happens when you think it is your fault, or you were too weak to "get over it" but PTSD hits harder when you have a strong emotional core.  Just like when you feel good stuff really strongly, you feel bad stuff more. So why think there is anything wrong with you now that sadness hit if you do not feel wrong when love lives strongly?

Friction happens when you surround yourself with people who reenforce the negative actions you take, like drinking, doing drugs or taking risks. It happens when they add to the terrible thoughts you are already thinking.

Stay away from anything or anyone telling you about veterans committing suicide with their pushups, walks, stunts and events you are invited you to because they tell you what a good time you'll have.
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Changing the suicide talk to actual prevention

Realignment

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 25, 2018

I had to get new tires for my car. In the process, they put the car on a machine to do an alignment. 

WHAT IS TIRE ALIGNMENT?

Alignment refers to an adjustment of a vehicle’s suspension – the system that connects a vehicle to its wheels. It is not an adjustment of the tires or wheels themselves. The key to proper alignment is adjusting the angles of the tires which affects how they make contact with the road.

That got me thinking about how veterans can do an alignment of their lives. They can adjust the angles and make different contacts with other veterans on the road.

Right now the most powerful tool to prevent suicides if not being used. Too many have just jumped on the "suicide awareness" stunts while veterans are left wondering where hope is.

What is going on? We see so many groups talking about veterans killing themselves, but the outcome is more suffering and less healing.

Do these people really care? That is clear for most involved that they do. The problem is, they did not care enough to know what to do to change the outcome.

The answer was already inside of them. 
read more here

WHY IS FACEBOOK BLOCKING ADS TO HELP VETERANS?

Facebook needs to explain themselves to veterans!

Combat PTSD Wounded Times and PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 13, 2018

Facebook notified me that I should boost a post, and then turned it down. Why? Read what they sent.

This is my reply!

What was so offensive? UCF Restores and the program they have helping veterans heal PTSD!

Stunning when you consider they must be making a boat load of money off of the folks raising money to "raise awareness" they are talking about suicides. 

Read the post and then you decide if it had anything to do with politics! UCF Restores Hope

The good thing is that they did allow all of them after I protested. The question is, what are they going to do TO STOP DOING THIS?

I wanted to see the darkness turn to the light of day

Dawn of Veterans Day

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 11, 2108

Before dawn yesterday, I went out to Apopka to walk along the path of the Vietnam Memorial Traveling Wall. I wanted to see the darkness turn to the light of day.

Much like when you drive surrounded by darkness, you can light your way by turning on your headlights, you can do that with your life as well.

The darkness can feel overwhelming at times and it can be hard to see what is around you.
read more here

PTSD destroys hope, UCF Restoring It

UCF Restores Hope

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 8, 2018

With the news today about a shooting involving a veteran, people started to talk about it, and veterans, started to withdraw.

While it is rare for a veteran to be involved in something like this, the fact it was a veteran this time, has managed to be in almost every headline.

I felt there was a sense of urgency to put this up today instead of waiting for Sunday.

Yesterday I went out to UCF and interviewed Deborah C. Beidel of UCF Restores. They are doing fantastic work on helping veterans and first responders heal. Heal? Yes! 

PTSD is not something to be afraid of and it is not worth gaining power over your life.

If you understand what it is, why you have it, then you take away power from it. When you fight back, you take away more power from it and gain it for yourself.

Listen do what Dr. Beidel has to say and then, start to #CombatPTSD so you can #TakeBackYourLife.

"And one day, she discovered that she was fierce, ad strong, and full of fire. And that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears."

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