Showing posts with label Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Show all posts

Saturday, February 19, 2022

Are You A Stranger Angel?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
February 19, 2022

Part three of The Lost Son, Stranger Angels
2022 began with a new mission for Chris and his friends. In the process of writing a new book, Chris wanted to address the traumas that happened when some of his friends were young to give hope to others living with abusive parents and bullies. He also had to find closure for the abuse he survived in LA.

Dreams were haunting him and grew stronger. He kept his promise to go into therapy for PTSD and finally had to admit the thing he had been hiding all along.

From Stranger Angels

“Remember, we didn’t want to talk about anything outside the house. Anyway, once they got her into bed, we were sitting in the kitchen and they were talking about how they rationalized it by things that happened to them. How they just forced themselves to get over.” Bill saw the shocked look on the others. “Don’t look at me like that. All of you did the same thing. You thought just like I did, that you’d just get over it and you waited.”

Chris said, “I know I did and it just got worse. I have to tell you that if I knew how many others had PTSD just from living, and not just from combat, I would have gone into therapy a long time ago. I had no way to know it was too often part of surviving. I’m just wondering why your Dad didn’t connect what happened to Brenda to what happened in Vietnam?”

“Don’t get me wrong but, the only way I can explain it is, since he understood so little about it, it was almost like a contest in his mind. He got over it the first time, the second time and the third time. He couldn’t just get over it the fourth time. It was too much. God must have agreed because after he got wounded, the docs discharged him and sent him home. The thing is, he said his wounds weren’t bad enough to be discharged. He just knew somehow, they knew he needed to get out.” 
“So he thought Brenda should get over it too?”

“Pretty much.” Bill took a swig of beer. “See the thing is, no one they knew talked about any of this either. When we went to Afghanistan and Iraq, that was all anyone was talking about back home, but we didn’t talk to each other about it. I didn’t talk to David and he sure as hell wasn’t gonna tell me since he was the strongest and bravest of all of us.” He looked at David and he was nodding his head agreeing. “Folks back home pretended that PTSD and suicides only happened to our generation and only because of war. Everyone else was being ignored, like veterans like my Dad. Even he didn’t connect Vietnam to PTSD until I was diagnosed and I was explaining it to him.” 
“I know I tried to pass it off too. Like I’d just get over it. I saw what you and David went through and that you guys had it a lot worse than I did. Now I get it. I turned it into a contest too.”

David agreed, “It’s easy to do. I did it too but it was a contest I didn’t want to win. Maybe that’s why I was fighting a losing battle until I met Mandy. I don’t know but I do know, she didn’t just save my life, she gave me a reason to live.”

Greer nodded her head, “So did I. I was a tough Black MP. Admitting I needed help was the last thing I was ready to do. The stupid thing was, I had no problem asking for backup when I needed it doing my job. I had no problem trusting the other MPs with watching my back but I had a huge problem trusting them with what was going on with me. The crazy thing was, until a few months ago when we got all that publicity, I had no idea how many others I served with were going through the same thing and thinking the same way I did. Like, we could trust them with our lives but couldn’t bring ourselves to trust them with our thoughts and struggles.”
The purpose of this series is to let you know you are not stuck suffering with PTSD and give you a way to fuller, happier life.

Studies show that suicide risk is higher in persons with PTSD. Some studies link suicide risk in those with PTSD to distressing trauma memories, anger, and poor control of impulses. Further, suicide risk is higher for those with PTSD who have certain styles of coping with stress, such as not expressing feelings. (PTSD VA)

The other thing I hope you take away from these books is the fact that you are human and while it may seem as if no one will understand what you're going through, ask the other 15 million people in the country joining the PTSD club every year that no one wants to be a member of. They may not understand what combat did to you, but they sure as hell understand what living and surviving did to them.

If you don't try to fight PTSD alone, then you learn how vital it is to have help to heal. You also find the need to help others heal too and you become a Stranger Angel!

Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.
Hebrews 13:2

Sunday, January 30, 2022

Beyond the battlefield

Beyond the battlefield: Author shines light on PTSD that occurs outside a war zone

The Rochester Voice
Harrison Thorp
January 30, 2022
ROCHESTER - Kathie Costos of Rochester has devoted much of her life to the study of PTSD, including its far-less diagnosed forms that follow traumatic episodes outside the battlefield.

During a ribbon cutting for her two new books on Thursday Costos explained that her first brush with PTSD occurred at the age of 5 when she was seriously hurt in an accident, but was sent home by medical professionals who told her to just "get some sleep" when she had actually suffered a fractured skull and concussion.
read more here


A couple of lessons to take away from this. The first one is, never give up. It took me 40 years to get support like I've been getting here in Rochester New Hampshire. We moved here 4 months before COVID hit.

The other thing is, I hope readers of these books discover that they have nothing to be ashamed of if they, or someone they love, has PTSD, no matter what caused it. The truth is, surviving the cause, makes us survivors!

If someone thinks they should be ashamed but struggle with knowing they need help, see someone else ask for it and then get treated badly, they won't ask for help. If they see someone breaking the silence and receive help to heal and be happier, they are encouraged to dream about being able to do the same thing.

You can find these books and the rest here on Amazon. I am currently editing the third part of this series. Not bad for five months of work!

Friday, January 28, 2022

Rochester Chamber expanded my support system and felt more like family

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 28, 2022 


The Rochester Chamber of Commerce, Tanya and Laura, made me feel welcome and gave me the support I needed. In other words, the Chamber expanded my support system and felt more like family. Yesterday, they went above and beyond, hosting a ribbon cutting to help me celebrate the two books I wrote in just a couple of months. I am honored and blessed to be a member of such a wonderful organization! Thank you to everyone who came out to share this wonderful day with me!

The Chamber was pleased to hold a ribbon cutting ceremony today for author Kathie Costos of PTSD Patrol, who has recently written and published two books, The Lost Son and Alive Again. The books, which are about the many causes of post traumatic stress disorder, feature a main character who was a reporter covering the wars and are based in Salem, MA and the fictional town of Gabriel, NH. Both books are available for purchase at the Chamber office, or contact Kathie: (407) 754-7526 or email moralmortal.llc@aol.com. Present in the photo in no particular order are: Kathie Costos with family and friends, Chamber Board Members: Lauren Jerr, R.W. Creteau Regional Tech Center at Spaulding High, Mark Farrell, Laars Heating Systems Company, Dave Stevens, Hourihane, Cormier and Associates, and also Harrison Thorp of The Rochester Voice and Rochester Police Chief Gary Boudreau.

If you have been wondering why I haven't been posting lately, I am editing the third part of The Lost Son. This one was started in December and is already done. Check back soon for details and as always, thank you for your support too!

Wednesday, January 12, 2022

Veterans with PTSD on trial

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 12, 2022


My head is exploding right now. Can any reporter explain to me why they manage to always report on a veteran with PTSD committing crimes, use it in the headline, yet do not notice they do not report on everyone else committing crimes when they have PTSD too?

Apparently veterans with PTSD are on trial but reporters fail to see we all are!


This is the headline the headline that caused a massive headache!

"Veteran with PTSD pleads guilty to killing 2 men in SC in 2017, lawyers say" and is on Stars and Stripes.
Family members for King and McNair spoke on Friday before Melton's sentencing "about the tragedy and loss of their sons," Campbell said.
Mental illness and drugs

Melton served in the military and was stationed in Iraq in 2004, developing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of that experience, said his defense lawyer, Justin Kata of the Giese Law Firm in Columbia.

Kata said Melton was later diagnosed by a psychiatrist.

At the time of the killings, "he had PTSD symptoms and he was self-medicating," Kata said.
According to the National Center for PTSD, there are 15 million Americans joining the PTSD club every year but reporters will only cover veterans committing sucide and crimes.
Facts about How Common PTSD Is
The following statistics are based on the U.S. population: About 6 out of every 100 people (or 6% of the population) will have PTSD at some point in their lives. About 15 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma. About 8 of every 100 women (or 8%) develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with about 4 of every 100 men (or 4%). Learn more about women, trauma and PTSD

Let's look at the results of this. 

Veterans have a hard time finding jobs because employers remember reading about a veteran like this one. Because reporters do not cover all the other survivors with PTSD, they have no idea that PTSD does not make people dangerous or even get them to contemplate the simple fact that they have probably already hired a lot of good employees with PTSD unknowingly.

Veterans getting all the attention is a billion dollar industry because people care about veterans. While that is a good thing, we should consider why there are no massive fundraisers for everyone else with PTSD not getting the help we all need.

People in law enforcement, fire departments, emergency responders, medical, you name the occupation, are ignored. No one seems to care.

I was guilty of this too. I spent decades focused on veterans when few others were. I thought that since there were so many other people, they'd have enough help but I did not know no one in the media was putting it all together. It never even dawned on me that after surviving over 10 events, I had a rare form of it. It also didn't dawn on two therapists I saw over the years.

Do we take care of veterans properly? NO!

Do we take care of anyone in need to mental health care properly? NO!

Until we get reporters to cover all of us so that we know how many of us there are after surviving, we will not be able to focus on what is helpful to others, that can help us too. We will not be able to inspire hope to others suffering from something only we can understand. While we may not be able to fully understand the causes if we did not experience it, we can understand what it is doing to them, and they can understand what it has done to us.



Kathie Costos on Amazon

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Thursday, January 6, 2022

with reporters like this...PTSD survivors are doomed

'In simple terms, I feel great:' WRAL Investigates new treatment to help veterans with PTSD

Posted January 3, 2022


    THAT WAS THE HEADLINE BUT IT IS NOT NEW....


First post was 2008 and if it worked....they would be doing it for everyone. After all, PTSD does not just hit veterans. It hits survivors!

Back to the so called news....
By Cullen Browder, WRAL anchor/reporter
More U.S. service members have died by suicide since the War on Terror began than those who died fighting in it.

Now, a pain treatment that’s been around for almost 100 years is revolutionizing the treatment of veterans dealing with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

For years, the WRAL Investigates team has reported on the struggles of service members and veterans dealing with the emotional scars of military duty and their fight for mental health services.
and then came the head spinning moment....
In our latest chapter, we looked into a promising new treatment that’s actually been around for years. The treatment actually attacks trauma through a cluster of nerves in the neck.

Why bother talking about facts? Why bother to mention that over 15 million American survivors from other events end up joining the club every year, searching for help, treatment and hope but cannot find it because reporters would rather close their eyes instead of actually helping.


This is from The National Center for PTSD


 

Sunday, January 2, 2022

Reporters talk about PTSD year after attack on Capitol

One year later, reporters are still processing what happened on Jan. 6

CNN Business
By Ramishah Maruf
January 2, 2022
Some journalists have been candid about post traumatic stress disorder following the insurrection. Walker said one hallmark of PTSD is to have eerily clear flashbacks -- something he has experienced when reflecting on Jan. 6.
One of the defining stories of this year was the Jan. 6 insurrection, and its significance is only growing from here, CNN's chief media correspondent Brian Stelter said on "Reliable Sources" Sunday.

Approaching the one year anniversary, journalists are continuing to report on the attack and its aftermath, and many are still reeling from their own experiences covering the insurrection on the ground.

"We're all kind of feeling the same thing right now, this sort of disbelief that already a year has gone by and here we are," Grace Segers, a staff writer at the New Republic, said.

Hunter Walker, author of the newsletter "The Uprising" and a contributor to Rolling Stone, said that many Americans are still not truly aware of the extent of what happened that day, and not just due to active attempts to deny the seriousness of the event. Many journalists were working from home due to Covid, and jammed cell signals delayed the release of videos from the Capitol.

"There's a bit of an informal network of reporters who've been through it that day, and are still coping with that, who are leaning on each other and talking to each other," Walker said.
read more here

Wednesday, December 15, 2021

When the church has no room for you

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 15, 2021

Almost 40 years ago, I started researching PTSD and in all these years, 90% of the people I helped, do not attend church. They felt as if there was no church that had a place for them. They just never fit in with what the leader preached, but did not practice. They didn't fit in with what the parishioners claimed when they saw how they actually acted. More had other reasons. Some were raised in a certain faith, but it was not practiced at home. Others were not raised to worship in a place, but raised to be "good people" with compassion and kindness, the same way Jesus taught.
Some knew that God still had room for them, even if they simply lived their lives worshiping Him the same way Jesus did. He did not attend "church" but prayed outside most of the time. He was actually against what was being done in the name of God, while it always involved money.
Jesus at the Temple
12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’[e] but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’[f]”

14 The blind and the lame came to him at the temple, and he healed them. 15 But when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple courts, “Hosanna to the Son of David,” they were indignant.

They charged money for everything and if you didn't have any, you got nothing from them. Jesus never charged anyone for anything but paid for everything people needed from God with His Own Life!

Early Christians did not attend church, but prayed at home, or in small groups among their friends. They passed on hope, healing, God's mercy and love for them freely!

Not all houses of worship are like the robbers, and that is wonderful. Not all religious leaders are saying, "Praise God but write the check to them." Not all of them are living in mansions while people go homeless and hungry. Not all of them are involved with seeking political power over prayer. Not all of the people attending church are showing up just to be seen and then doing what they want the rest of the week.

No need to wonder why so many have left organized religion and prefer to be called spiritual instead of religious.


What's your religion? In US, a common reply now is "None"
Associated Press
By LUIS ANDRES HENAO, KWASI GYAMFI ASIEDU and DAVID CRARY
December 14, 2021
Through high school and college, he "drifted away" from Christian beliefs and in his 30s began a serious, long-lasting journey into spirituality while in rehab to curb his alcoholism.

"Spirituality is a soul-based journey into the heart, surrendering one's ego will to a higher will." he said. "We're looking for our own answers, beyond the programming we received growing up."

'I want to inspire people': Woman dedicates 10 years to copy the entire Bible by hand His path has been rough at times – the death of his wife from a fast-moving cancer, financial troubles leading to the loss of his house – but he says his spiritual practice has replaced his anxieties with a "gentle joy" and a desire to help others.

He previously worked as a landscape designer and real estate appraiser, and now runs a school teaching qigong, a practice that evolved from China combining slow, relaxed movement with breathing exercises and meditation.

"As a kid, I used to think of God up on a throne, with a white beard, passing judgment, but that has totally changed," Marston said. "My higher power is the universe... It's always there for me, if I can get out of my ego's way."

This is why I wrote The Lost Son series on Amazon. 

We live in a time of growing traumas and survivors need help to begin to heal. Experts have proven the need for mind-body-spiritual approaches to healing. How can they turn to spiritual healing when they feel there is no place for them?

Most people focus on veterans when they hear the term PTSD and then dismiss others suffering after surviving other events. They turn it into a contest to see who has the worst story of survival instead of listening to those who have the best stories of inspiration. It is almost as if having a happy, successful life afterwards is something we made up. I've heard it said time and time again, if a person is happy, then they made up the suffering.

I refuse to be ashamed of surviving over 10 events and still having a strong relationship with God, even though I have become a churchless child of His. I refuse to get into a contest with churchgoers because they are satisfied with their house to worship in when I prefer my own house.

There is a place for all of us with God. It is up to us how we live our lives and how we choose our own beliefs to live by. The Lost Son is about healing through faith and the actions of others to deliver the miracles out of God's Hands into our lives.


If you are still unsure of how God does understand trauma, all you need to wonder is, "Did Jesus Experience Trauma?" Experts Say ‘Yes’
Under the weight of the sins of the world, Jesus' body began to show signs of acute stress and trauma even before the physical torment leading to the crucifixion, and the crucifixion itself took place. In a moment of overwhelming love for us, dedication to his Father’s will, and desperation to be released from the agony to come, Jesus suffered in his mind, body, and spirit as he knelt in the garden. And then, he surrendered himself to the men who would torture, humiliate, and murder him.

“From a neurobiological perspective, we know that Jesus experienced pain so intense and overwhelming that by any human standards would likely mean he became traumatized,” says author and therapist Aundi Kolber.

So yes, He does. He doesn't send all the bad  stuff into our lives. People do. The weather does. Fires do. Wars do. Evil people doing evil things do. If you believe in God then you need to admit that the other guy is just as real. We've all seen what he does but he gets most of the attention making headline across the world. The Lost Son is an attempt to get people to see it is time to give credit where credit is due and give God as much publicity as Satan gets. 

Wednesday, December 8, 2021

It is time for the other survivors to find comfort too

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 8, 2021

If you have PTSD, it can be very hard to believe in miracles. Surviving the cause of it, didn't feel like a miracle, especially if you are suffering afterwards. The thing is, it won't change as long as you only focus on the event and misery that came with it.


Having survived over 10 of them, I can tell you that I felt lucky to still be alive at first. Then came the unanswerable questions filling up my mind. Some were caused by strangers. Some were caused by people I knew. Some were caused by doctors. Some were caused by my own body. Each and every time, there were miracles following the horror shows.

If you learn nothing else from me, learn how to see things in a different way.

The first miracle was, I survived. 

Once I stopped asking why it happened to me, I started to wonder why strangers would show up to help me. That was the second miracle I needed to see. All the people dropping what they were doing and helping me, in whatever way they could, helped me heal.

The third miracle was when I started to cry and released all the bad emotions that came with the event. That allowed good emotions to be fed and hope returned to my soul.

The forth miracle was when I used what I learned to help others along the way. I think that is the best miracle of all because it did not stop with me. It spread out. People I helped, helped others. They helped even more and it just kept going.

Survivors are proof that miracles do still happen. The thing you need to decide is, do you want to have your life defined by what tried to kill you, or do you want it defined by the miracles you pass on? Each time I helped someone, I was strengthened. There are no limits on what you can do, just as there are no limits on what God still does.

I hope you find what you're looking for in THE LOST SON because that is what it is all about. Each character in the book survived, regretted it and then, miracles walked into their lives. They became the answer to the miracles others were praying for.

While there are veterans in it, there are other main characters from other events as well. It is time for the other survivors to find comfort too, because there are 15 million Americans fighting PTSD every year and joining this group seeking happiness.

Tuesday, December 7, 2021

being denied mental health care and compensation is mashugana!

I continue to be stunned by the fact no nation takes care of their service members or veterans with PTSD. As bad as that is, it is even more a sickening they fail to see the rest of the people in their country feel the sting of the stigma inflicted upon them as survivors of the traumas they face too.

Getting PTSD because you serve your nation, was job related. Getting it because Israel requires service of everyone, then being denied mental health care and compensation is mashugana!

Disabled IDF veteran denied PTSD treatment commits suicide

The Jersualem Post
By ELIAV BREUER
Published: DECEMBER 5, 2021
47-year-old Itzik Chen, who was injured in Lebanon in the early 90s, committed suicide while fighting for recognition of his post-trauma.
A protest by disabled IDF veterans in Tel Aviv, April 18, 2021
(photo credit: AVSHALOM SASSONI/MAARIV)
Itzik Chen, who served as a paratrooper in Lebanon and Nablus, committed suicide on Sunday morning, Israeli media reported. Chen, 47, was recognized by the Defense Ministry as a disabled veteran but had been fighting for additional recognition of mental illnesses stemming from his service.
The Defense Ministry’s Rehabilitation Department has long been criticized for being excessively reticent in recognizing veterans’ claims of injury during military service. Until a veteran’s condition is recognized – a process that can take years in some cases – they are not eligible for assistance.

“We are hurting and stunned by the suicide of the disabled veteran Itzhik Chen,” the IDF Disabled Veterans Association said on Sunday. “This is exactly the cry that we have been raising the whole time. There are disabled IDF veterans who have been waiting for recognition for years, falling through the cracks over time and not receiving proper treatment.”
read more here

Saturday, December 4, 2021

Post-trauma days of living different lives as survivors,

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 4, 2021




If you listen to any news program, the chances are, you have no idea what is going on when it comes to PTSD. Until we do, finally, understand that while the causes of PTSD are different, what comes after in the Post-trauma days of living different lives as survivors, will remain the silent suffering of millions around the world.

Survivors had been suffering in silence long before I came along into this life. The issue that grieves me most of all, is the simple fact that none of it had to happen.

None of it will change until we actually manage to change the conversation we're having, and what we settle for the press continuing to ignore.

I read, what are considered to be, strange things all the time. It makes sense to me because as a survivor, I am strange to others, and I'm OK with that. What give me more comfort is the fact that when I read strange things, I find how much we as humans surviving life, are all linked together.

Reading "Front-line healthcare workers at risk of suffering from PTSD", on The Morning Star covered what is happening with healthcare workers facing the continued battle against the pandemic. They are expecting over 200,000 new cases of survivors dealing with PTSD. It shows what most experts know.
Professor Neil Greenberg, a PTSD specialist at the college, said: “It’s a common misunderstanding that only people in the armed forces can develop PTSD — anyone exposed to a traumatic event is at risk.
“However, clearly there are jobs, including working in many healthcare settings, where experiencing traumatic events is more common so the risk of developing PTSD is unfortunately much higher.”
“Early and effective support can reduce the likelihood of PTSD and those affected should be able to access evidence-based treatment in a timely manner,” Prof Greenberg added.
Yes, you read that right. It isn't just about people in the military. PTSD strikes survivors, no matter what they survived. The problem with the article is that it also strikes people going about their daily lives when something happened to them without warning, leaving them to wonder if it was such a good thing they survived it or not.

PTSD from occupations also hit all over the world. Keep in mind that these people are still facing life as the rest of us, and then their jobs are piled onto their shoulders taking care of the rest of us, and all too often, each other as well.

Here in the US, our healtcare providers are dealing with the same linked traumas. For providers with PTSD, the trauma of COVID-19 isn’t over by the Association of American Medical Colleges
Even before the pandemic, 16% of emergency physicians self-reported symptoms of PTSD. Recent data, including an unpublished survey conducted in the fall of 2020 and presented at the American Psychiatric Association’s annual meeting in May, suggest that as many as 36% of front-line physicians suffer from the condition. And that statistic omits those who don’t meet strict diagnostic criteria but have still experienced powerful psychological effects. “Health care workers had to worry about not having enough beds, not having enough ventilators. They had to move into fields they didn’t know,” says Jessica Gold, MD, a psychiatrist at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis who treats physicians. “They saw their colleagues die or had to intubate their co-workers, and they had to worry about ending up that way themselves. Those are huge traumas.”
The article points out many differnt, important points, however, this one applies to everyone suffering as survivors of the causes of our traumas.
For providers suffering from PTSD and the hospitals that rely on them, what lies ahead is unclear. Once a person develops PTSD, it can last for years. More than a decade after the 9/11 World Trade Center attacks, 27% of police responders were still suffering symptoms, for example. But certain treatments, including anti-anxiety medication and cognitive behavioral therapy, have been shown to help. Bankhead-Kendall certainly finds her therapy useful. For one, she’s learned to cry more. “My counselor told me I needed to not keep things bottled up, and to grieve, so when I’m feeling really sad, I find an appropriate place and I cry,” she says. “It seems really simple, kind of silly, but it helps.”
It doesn't seem silly to me, or any of the other people out there getting the right kind of information about healing. We have to let out the pain before we can heal hope.

If you have PTSD, get  help to heal and then pass it on. If you read something in your favorite news source and they get something wrong, let them know what the truth is. If they get it right, praise them so they continue to be beneficial to other survivors.

Reach out to anyone, no matter what caused their PTSD and understand it is not a contest between who is suffering more, but is a quest to help them gain strength from your experiences. Be the miracle for others the way you had someone start yours!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD.

Monday, November 29, 2021

I MARRIED THE WAR

My mother married the Korean War. My mother-in-law married WWII. I married the Vietnam War. They fought the battles in combat, but we fought the battles they brought back with them. Chances are, if your reading this site, you did too. Maybe the one coming home was your wife, son, daughter or friend. You know what it's like when things are going fine, as much as you know what things are like when they are not so great.

When I got into all of this, no one was talking about what it was like. My parents kept it all a secret and so did my husband's parents. It was almost as if they felt they should be ashamed of something. I had to learn what it was all by myself and eventually, wrote For The Love Of Jack, His War/My Battle.

Today I received an email about a fabulous documentary, I Married The War, and happy to share this. The thing is, their service is a part of them. Combat is a part of them. When we marry them, that is included in the deal. When I watched some of the videos, I thought, wow, this is for the rest of us who fight their battles back home.

Official Trailer for I Married the War

We are thrilled to release our new Official Trailer for I Married the War. Created by our stellar Director of Photography, Bill Krumm, it offers an introduction to all eleven women, and clear insight into what the film is all about.

We couldn’t be more grateful to these women for their honest and candid interviews about their experience as wives of combat veterans. Even though less than 1% of our country’s population currently serves in the Armed Forces, we still have 5.5 million military caregivers living with veterans from WWII, the Korean War. the Vietnam War, Desert Storm, and OEF/OIF (the Middle East Wars).

It is our goal that I MARRIED THE WAR will help foster the national dialogue about supporting our veterans when they return home forever changed, and their families who are not prepared for that change when the war comes home with their loved ones.

Saturday, November 27, 2021

PTSD Overgrown Harvest

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 27, 2021


When will people ever learn? When will the truth become unhidden? Until that day comes, millions around the country will continue to suffer in silence.

When people hear PTSD, they assume it is related to military service. After all, that is all they hear about.
The number of Veterans with PTSD varies by service era
Operations Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and Enduring Freedom (OEF): About 11-20 out of every 100 Veterans (or between 11-20%) who served in OIF or OEF have PTSD in a given year.
Gulf War (Desert Storm): About 12 out of every 100 Gulf War Veterans (or 12%) have PTSD in a given year.
Vietnam War: About 15 out of every 100 Vietnam Veterans (or 15%) were currently diagnosed with PTSD at the time of the most recent study in the late 1980s, the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study (NVVRS). It is estimated that about 30 out of every 100 (or 30%) of Vietnam Veterans have had PTSD in their lifetime.
When they hear about female veterans, they assume it has to be related to sexual trauma. After all, that is all they hear about.
Among Veterans who use VA health care, about:
23 out of 100 women (or 23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
55 out of 100 women (or 55%) and 38 out of 100 men (or 38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.
Facts about How Common PTSD Is
The following statistics are based on the U.S. population:
About 6 out of every 100 people (or 6% of the population) will have PTSD at some point in their lives.
About 15 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma.
About 8 of every 100 women (or 8%) develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with about 4 of every 100 men (or 4%).

Firefighters end up with PTSD too, but too few hear about them.

As the Florian's Knights full patch motorcycle club, the freedom felt on two wheels inspires North American firefighters to speak truth against the stigma of first responder mental health and outlaw biker culture.

Police officers, emergency responders, and every other human surviving the thing that caused PTSD, pay a price, but too few even know what we're dealing with. PTSD is not limited by age, or occupation. It only knows something terrible happened to survivors of whatever caused it to enter their lives.

The truth is, most groups are only helping veterans with PTSD. Some are doing a great job for the right reasons and have a team in place to take care of the needs of the veterans seeking them out. They are not the ones getting the most attention. The ones with the money to bankroll advertising get the attention. The good groups do the best they can with what support they receive.

When so many are suffering with PTSD, instead of healing as survivors of the cause of it, this harvest field is overgrown because there are not enough workers to tend to all of them.

The Workers Are Few
35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38 Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” Matthew 9:35-37

And the field keeps growing far beyond what our eyes can see.
The front lines of mental health start in a person’s mind and body. Depending on the day, external stressors, resources or medication, that landscape gets smoother or rockier to navigate.

But it doesn’t end there.

The front lines shift and intersect in many environments: It can be a classroom or office, a hospital or church, a jail or shelter. Ultimately what begins as a personal experience ripples through a whole community, affecting not just the person experiencing mental health issues but their families, friends and neighbors.


And while we all have mental health (just like we have physical health), some live with mental illness, a wide range of conditions spanning mood disorders, addiction, PTSD and more. (The Seattle Times)
They can't keep up withthe need it Colorado.
DENVER (KDVR) — Mental health providers are noticing an increase in demand for services, far beyond what they experienced at the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic.

A recent survey from the National Council for Mental Wellbeing found 78% of behavioral health organizations reported seeing an increase in demand over the past three months. A majority said their waitlists are growing and nearly all respondents said they’re having trouble recruiting employees.

“We’re trying to see as many people as we can, but I don’t see it slowing down,” said Dr. Liz Chamberlain, a licensed psychologist at the CU Anschutz Health and Wellness Center.

Look up what is happening in your own state and see how overloaded the mental health system is in your own location.

Nothing will change until we change the conversation to include all humans trying to heal as survivors. We need to change the conversation we have with them, as much as we need to change the conversation we have with the lawmakers and reporters, or nothing will change. 

Thursday, November 25, 2021

Thankful God Had Plan B

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 25, 2021
When I was five years old, I had a fractured skull, concussion and head trauma. Aside from everything else, it caused a speech problem. Kids being kids, I was made fun of and limited what I said out loud. When I got older, it was easier to write instead of speak. My pen was my voice.

In my senior year of high school, my English teacher said I was a natural born writer. I wrote a speech for a national competition and it won first place. The thing was, I had to have one of my classmates read it because when I got nervous, words didn't come out right. My typewriter was my voice.

In 1982 I was introduced to the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I fell in love with a Vietnam veteran. I had no way of knowing it at the time, but I had it too. My ex-husband tried to kill me and then stalked me for years. It helped me to understand what war did to my veteran. The more I learned, the more convinced I was that people needed to know about this. Writing was still my voice and I wrote to local newspapers.

In 1993, I got online and started to write about it on as many places as I could. My computer was my voice.

When I got older, a friend told me I missed my calling and should have become a preacher. The problem with that was, as a Greek Orthodox woman, that wasn't possible. I did not want to renounce my faith to join another church where my preaching would be welcomed. My computer was still my voice.

In 2002, I finished writing my first book on PTSD. For The Love Of Jack told our story and I wrote about the importance of our souls aiding in healing, I had to republish it in 2012.




My computer is still the voice I use most of all, but in today's world, it also because my way of speaking through videos.














One of the first videos I did was back in 2006. Coming Out Of The Dark. My video camera was my voice.
Why be afraid if you're not alone? Life is never easy, the rest is unknown. The song is by Gloria Estefan and the first time I heard it, all I could think about were the Vietnam veterans I spent so much time with including my husband. You are not alone fighting to heal PTSD just as you were not alone during combat.


All these later, almost forty of them, healing PTSD has used everything God planned for me as well as the pain others caused me.

This past summer, I was at a crossroad and not in a good way. After all these years, I had nothing new to say. I did the writing, research, created over 700 videos and had three books. I was depressed reading reports on PTSD and constantly seeing failure after failure, topped off with reporters never telling the whole story of the lives of survivors.

My faith in God was stronger than ever, but my faith in myself was at the lowest point in my life. I did what I usually do. I turned to God and prayed for a way to express what He taught me all these years. I wanted to give knowledge as much as I wanted to give hope.

God answered that prayer with The Lost Son.

Before I was done with this one, God delivered a second one to begin. Alive Again

Both book are like the Parable of The Lost Son because the main character was supposed to be a priest, but became a reporter. He walked away from God because he believed God walked away from him first. As with the lost son in the Bible, he went back to his Father and God rejoiced. He used Chris's talents and all the gifts he had to deliver messaged to the world that God still hears prayers and answers them through other people.

The stories involve veterans dealing with PTSD, but also everyone else trying to come to terms with being a survivor. I hope you find understanding and, above all else, hope that your life story is one that you determine and define. We are limited in what we can do but there are no limits on what God can do for us, and through us!

On this Thanksgiving Day, I am grateful for God's plan B for me! God gave me back my voice.

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Perpetuating the stigma of PTSD on veterans, is insulting

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 23, 2021

How can anyone learn something from an article that omits the most glaring fact of all? Considering that millions of people in the US are hit by PTSD every year as civilians, then add in those who end up with it from their jobs, these are the facts.
Facts about How Common PTSD Is from the National Center For PTSD
The following statistics are based on the U.S. population:
About 6 out of every 100 people (or 6% of the population) will have PTSD at some point in their lives.
About 15 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma.
About 8 of every 100 women (or 8%) develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with about 4 of every 100 men (or 4%).
Learn more about women, trauma and PTSD.

There is a nice way of putting this, but frankly, this article does not deserve it!

OK, employers have no idea how many of their own employees they have with PTSD and I doubt that fact bothers any of them considering they have probably been doing great jobs and made friends. Considering how many American have it every year, that is inescapable. 

The next thing that stands out about this article is the "expert" never mentions that police officers and firefighters also get PTSD from their jobs and that includes folks who did not serve in the military. Head smack moments of the day continue on this one. The worst thing of all is this if on Employee Benefit News but apparently, they prefer to perpetuate the stigma of PTSD on veterans, while leaving the rest of the population out of it. 

As it is, I'm tired of some people thinking that we have anything to be ashamed of by the labels they want us to live with. We're survivors and that is the only label we should ever allow on our shoulders. The only thing that limits us is people getting in the way of our healing...like the following article!

This is how employers can help support their veteran population suffering from PTSD

Employee Benefit News
By Paola Peralta
November 22, 2021

Veterans in the workplace are suffering — and employers may have the tools to help, if they know what to look for.

Of the 11-20% of veterans who have been diagnosed with PTSD, only 9% of veterans surveyed by digital therapeutic service Freespira say they have fully recovered from PTSD and no longer have symptoms. But it’s not from a lack of trying: veterans listed transportation challenges and finding nearby providers with PTSD experience as the main barriers to accessing healthcare services.

And with veterans making up 7% of the American workforce, their mental health — and the overwhelming burden of it — could be a problem many employers must learn to solve, says Dr. Robert Cuyler, a licensed chief clinical officer at Freespira.

“There are a lot of veterans who are now in one way or another in first responder roles,” Dr. Cuyler says. “So if you look at police departments, fire departments and EMTs, they have an awful lot of people who have military backgrounds who may have full-fledged PTSD or subclinical PTSD from being exposed to recurrent trauma.”
read more here

Wednesday, November 17, 2021

New Books To Help Churchless Children Of God Heal PTSD

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 17, 2021 

By the summer, it was getting more and more difficult to find anything new to say about #PTSD. After all, next year will be 40 years after I started. I was feeling pretty hopeless about helping anyone new, especially when the increase of people suffering showed no signs of going down. I mean, there is only so much a person can do. I needed a miracle to be able to say what needed to be said in a new way. 

The books I wrote are for other "churchless" children of God, like me. I don't go to church anymore, so I couldn't go into any kind of building, other than my own home. Considering that Jesus didn't have a church, early Christian prayed outside or in their own homes, I knew God could hear me no matter where I was, with them as examples. I prayed for a way to do it and put it into God's hands.

What came next was the story of The Lost Son based on the Parable.


The Parable of the Lost Son
11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
When we survive the events that cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, no matter what caused it, we often turn away from God. When you live your life trying to do the right thing, for the right reason, and end up subjected to what happened, it is human nature to wonder why it happened to you. I know I did, each and every time. There were ten of them for me. The thing that made surviving them different for me, was while I lost faith in myself, I didn't lose it when it came to God.

That faith helped heal me but it did not mean I was totally resilient. I had a rare form of it that was linked to my ex-husband. I suffered for decades until I found out he passed away and couldn't hurt me anymore. The only thing I had to fear was the dark side trying to pull me back in and stop me from walking in the light of God's love.

As I said, I prayed for a new way to say something that wasn't new. I thought I'd be writing one book but God had other plans for me too and gave me two books to write at the same time. 

Having faith in God and Jesus, does not mean we have to be perfect. The Lost Son and Alive Again are written in the language we all use as adults. In other words, there is swearing going on. They involved adult situations, including drinking alcohol and using drugs to stop feeling anything. The list of causes covers most of them. By the end of both books, God's love won!

The Lost Son begins on September 13, 2019 and ends in 2020. Alive Again begins on September 13, 2021. The events are in Salem, MA and fictional town of Gabriel, New Hampshire. The number 13 plays an important part of both books but you'll have to read them to discover why that is. 

Monday, November 15, 2021

God still answers prayers, and people deliver His miracles!

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 15, 2021

Two new books are up on Amazon! As hard as it was to write two at the same time, it is a lot harder for far too many people with #PTSD.  We all see to focus on just veterans when that is the subject, but that is only because reporters never focus on the survivors of the events they cover. I thought it was time for someone to tell the stories of the rest of us. I also thought it was time to let people know that they can put their darkest days behind them and start walking in the light of God's love. After all, He didn't send harm our way, people did. Other people do what He asks them to do and they come to help us heal.

Think about whatever caused your PTSD and then think about the people who came to help you survive it. That is how it works when you are trying to survive surviving itself. There are people out there who will help you heal and live a happier life. Most of the time, they only thing they want back from you, is for you to pass it on to someone else in need.

I hope with these two books, you'll see that God still answers prayers, and people deliver His miracles!

 THE LOST SON
The scars on his body were reminders of what he survived but the scars in his soul were reminders of why he didn’t want to anymore. The condo in LA with his office covered with awards, was no longer his and he was living in a studio apartment back in Salem Massachusetts. His marriage ended when his ex-wife tried to kill him and then stalked him. All his friends were out of his life except his favorite bartender at a local bar.
Chris thought everyone he knew burned down the bridges between them and him. He couldn’t see he was the one with all the matches and his friends were trying to find the firehose. He was right about one thing. Seven years was too long for him to be suffering instead of healing, but God had other plans for him. That night, Chris was sent on a mission to save himself and millions of others when he discovered a secretive society changing the world one soul at a time.
ALIVE AGAIN
Chris spent the last two years walking in the light and did not want to go back into the darkness he had been in for seven years. He learned to secret to healing PTSD was to see beyond the pain others caused, and finally see what miracles bring to survivors. God agreed Chris should stop suffering and start to change the world. As a reporter covering the worst that people do, he used his skills and experience to report on what people do after reporters move onto the next story. As a best selling author, he proved people want God to get as much attention as Satan does.

Monday, November 1, 2021

Looking for advice on PTSD book


I haven't been on my sites for a while because I am finishing up two books on PTSD. The Lost Son is done. The second one, Alive Again is almost done. If you think about the prodigal son, then you'll understand the premise.

Luke 15:31-32
“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”
About six months ago, I was praying to be able to write a book that could help people see God through different eyes and know that miracles do still happen, when people listen. God answered and the Lost Son was done faster than anything I had ever written before. The second one started while I was waiting for it to be edited, and I didn't even pray for this one. I had no plans to write a sequel, but it came out better than the first one,

One of my goals was to cover the causes of PTSD in everyone, not being talked about because everyone only seems interested in veterans. I wanted to include them because I've been working on PTSD since 1982 because of them. I also wanted to include people like me. I survived over ten events but I never see stories like mine in the news.

There's a lot we don't read in the news, so the main character is a reporter who didn't need to know what came after the headlines were written. He became a headline story but what came afterwards was not publicly known, until he told his own story.

The goal is to put both books out as paperback, Kindle and audio. I've been searching online for ways to do all three, but there are so many options, it is hard to decide what to do with these. I've been praying on it but, since I get confused and mess up, like with my first three books, I don't want to mess up on God this time since, He wrote most of these. If you don't know me, then you need to understand that I do have an ego, so for me to admit there is no way I could have come up with this on my own, it's really hard for me to admit that.

So, since most of you have been reading this site for years, what should I do with them? 

Should I find an agent? If so, then which one?
There are way too many online. It is fiction, spiritual, but written for people who do not go to church. In other words, with they way most of us talk. Its about suffering and miracles but is also a mystery/suspense.

Should I use a small publisher who is taking submission without agents? If so, which one?

Should I self publish on Amazon again?

Should I raise funds on Kickstarter, print and distribute them myself?

Any ideas are a blessing. Please give me some advice in the comment section and end this confusion for me!




Saturday, September 25, 2021

PTSD Ball Of Confusion

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 25, 2021

When you trust someone and discover they lied to you, it sucks! If they lied that time, you wonder how many other times did they lie to you. Then you wonder about everyone else you believed. While it is hard to get away from them and never have anything to do with them again, it is not impossible.

What if you lied to yourself? You tell yourself things all the time that are not true but you convince yourself otherwise. What do you do when you discover you should not have trusted you? You wonder what else you lied to yourself about. It isn't as if you can cut yourself out of your life. What do you do?

You forgive yourself by figuring out why you believed the lie in the first place. Most of us don't make things up in our own heads. We hear lies from someone else, who, very well may have been, told it and believed it as easily as you believed them.

Then you figure out if you only believed it because you wanted to. If it supports what you already thought, then it was something you wanted to hear.

We see that all the time when the topic is PTSD. When you hear someone has PTSD, maybe you think they are weak, and then believe the lie supporting that thought. What does that lie do to you when you survive something and discover you have PTSD?

The people who berate survivors the most are usually in denial about their own suffering. The truth is, someone told them that lie in the first place, and they wanted to believe it.

This is from The Department of Veterans Affairs
The number of Veterans with PTSD varies by service era:
Operations Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and Enduring Freedom (OEF): About 11-20 out of every 100 Veterans (or between 11-20%) who served in OIF or OEF have PTSD in a given year.
Gulf War (Desert Storm): About 12 out of every 100 Gulf War Veterans (or 12%) have PTSD in a given year.
Vietnam War: About 15 out of every 100 Vietnam Veterans (or 15%) were currently diagnosed with PTSD at the time of the most recent study in the late 1980s, the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study (NVVRS).
It is estimated that about 30 out of every 100 (or 30%) of Vietnam Veterans have had PTSD in their lifetime.
Other factors in a combat situation can add more stress to an already stressful situation. This may contribute to PTSD and other mental health problems. These factors include what you do in the war, the politics around the war, where the war is fought, and the type of enemy you face.
Another cause of PTSD in the military can be military sexual trauma (MST). This is any sexual harassment or sexual assault that occurs while you are in the military. MST can happen to both men and women and can occur during peacetime, training, or war.
Among Veterans who use VA health care, about:
23 out of 100 women (or 23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
55 out of 100 women (or 55%) and 38 out of 100 men (or 38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.
There are many more male Veterans than there are female Veterans. So, even though military sexual trauma is more common in women Veterans, over half of all Veterans with military sexual trauma are men.

Now think about all the people in the US with PTSD

  • About 15 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma.

Stop lying to yourself and start forgiving yourself for the lies you believed about yourself! People lied to you but it is not too late to tell yourself the simple truth. There is nothing weak about being a survivor. There is nothing holding you back from healing other than what you allow to hold power over you.

No one will understand what surviving did to you unless they survived something that could have killed them. Look at the people around you and then understand it is not easy for them to understand you, even though they love you and care about you. They don't understand what caused changes in you anymore than they can understand that you need help to heal. This is why support groups work! You get the support and information you need to heal and then have the confidence to explain it to people in your life.

The only way to get there from where you're at is, tell yourself the truth about what it is and then tell yourself the truth that you are not stuck suffering. The road to healing is waiting for you and has been cleared by all the others who decided to end the ball of confusion. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Temptations Ball Of Confusion

Thursday, September 16, 2021

Valor Clinic Gave Me Back Hope

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 16, 2021

Yesterday I had a lengthy conversation with Mark Baylis of Valor Clinic. It didn't end the way I expected it to and I ended up very hopeful.

If you are familiar with the way I feel about all the new groups popping up all over the country, the you know what frame of mind I was in when I called him. Truthfully, after reading his email, I could already feel my blood pressure go up as soon as I saw the words, "suicide awareness."

I asked him a few questions and he answered them. It was not that he knew what he was talking about that impressed me. It was his total sincerity about wanting to make a difference.
Founder and CEO
SGM Mark D. Baylis
VALOR Clinic Foundation

Sergeant Major Baylis was born in Morristown, NJ on 13 April 1961 and served over 26 years on active duty. SGM Baylis entered the service on 22 February 1981 as an 11C (Indirect Fire Infantryman). After Basic Training and AIT, he served with the 82nd Airborne Division at Fort Bragg, NC and the 2d Bn 75th RGR as a mortar Squad Leader prior to coming to Special Forces.
check out Valor Clinic for more.
He knew exactly what I was talking about and by the time we got off the phone, I knew he was one of the good guys. He is actually trying to make a difference and, that my friend, is very rare in this day and age when people are only after making a difference in their own lives and what they can gain from others in pain. Mark wants to make a difference in the lives of veterans and help them find the healing they need.

I hope to have many more conversations with Mark in the future and catch up on all the work he is doing. 

If you have not been in PTSD Patrol for a while, there is something I wrote the other day that may help you understand something else you need to know about healing.

From Grieving To Healing

PTSD Patrol
Mental Health / By Kathie Costos
September 13, 2021

When you have PTSD, you can feel as if God saved you. That’s a good way to look at it because it gives you a chance to see what was done for you, instead of what was done to you. The other way, is when you think it happened because God caused it. No matter how much faith you have, it is something most survivors of trauma struggle with.

Right now, veterans of Afghanistan are struggling because of the way their war ended. They are turning to the only other veterans who understand. Vietnam veterans have struggled for over 50 years and they know what that level of pain is like, but they also know what it is like to heal. To make peace with the service by looking at “their service” instead of the cause of them having to be there.

They served the nation and the nation sent them. They were risked their lives for one another and were willing to die for those they served with. As for the people of the nations they were sent to protect, they gave them a chance for a better life. That was all that was within their power. How it started, why it lasted as long as it did and how it ended was not in their power to decide.
read more here

You had the courage to serve...you have the courage to heal from your service too! You didn't fight alone then so why try to fight alone now?

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Firefighter was told after 9-11 stop watching videos of it

Nearly 2 decades after 9/11, a former firefighter sees the NYC memorial for the first time
Pennsylvania State Capital Bureau
Candy Woodall
September 7, 2021
He told a fire department counselor he was having trouble sleeping. When he did, he had nightmares about anger and fighting. He complained of irritability, of an inability to calm down or take pleasure in anything. He couldn't remember certain things he witnessed at Ground Zero.

Her advice, according to court records: Stop watching 9/11 videos. She did not refer him for further treatment; she also said that, after 9/11, the fire department counseling staff was overwhelmed with work and seeing hundreds of employees.

Michael Silvestri dipped his fingers into the flowing water and made the sign of the cross, from his forehead to his broken heart.

The waters here, in the South Pool of New York City's 9/11 Memorial, are like holy water, he said.

"It's sacred. It's their graves," Silvestri said.

His cross was also a silent prayer for the strength he needed to stand at this memorial for the first time.

Faith had helped Silvestri, now 59, get this far.

The former firefighter survived 9/11 two decades ago, but he's been fighting for his life ever since.

Silvestri moved to Lehigh County, Pennsylvania, more than a decade ago to get away from all the reminders on Staten Island. He was haunted by painful memories, undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder and the survivor's guilt that devoured him alive. It culminated in 10 seconds of rage 16 months after 9/11 that nearly cost him everything, followed by years of the slow path toward healing, the hard work of turning survival to rebirth.
read more here