Nurse took care of blind Vietnam veteran...and service dog Cupid for 21 days~

Not just another patient: A nurse cared for a blind veteran and his guide dog while they were locked down in the hospital

CNN
By Lauren Lee
May 13, 2020

"Barbara stepped up and said, 'You don't worry about that. I will take care of that for you,'" Tasby recalled. For nearly three weeks, Borbeck walked, fed and cared for Cupid. She even enlisted other hospital staff to help out on her days off.

Nurse Barbara Borbeck cared for Cupid during Tasby's 21-day stay at Southern Hills Hospital.

Joe Tasby stands with his guide dog Cupid.

(CNN)Joe Tasby walked into the emergency room along with his faithful guide dog, Cupid. It was mid-March, and he thought he'd be home in a matter of days. But his hospital stay ended up lasting weeks. And when the coronavirus pandemic hit, no one could come into the hospital to care for Cupid.

Leave it to nurse -- and dog lover -- Barbara Borbeck to save the day.
read it here

Miracles followed because 11 year old made a wish

11 year old made dying wish that reached around the world

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 15, 2020

Confession: When I decided to put up these miracles, it was because I needed something to change the mood I was in. So many stories on Wounded Times, that it is hard to remember all of them. For now, I am putting up the ones that stand out most in my mind. Then I'll go through the other 38,000 to find more. They will be posted on PTSD until I run out of them.

The one posted today is about an 11 year old boy dying from cancer. This little boy had great compassion for the homeless in his area, that his dying wish was to be able to help them. His Mom supported that and did what she could to honor his wish.

What followed was his wish being heard around the world. Within a month, his wish was granted and the little angel changed the lives of millions!

read his story here

A simple casket with an American flag for Vietnam Veteran Andrew Elmer Wright

Miracle for Marine serving in Iraq

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 14, 2020

There are many stories about homeless veterans, but the one that stands out the most in my mind, is the string of miracles that happened, because the story grabbed my heart.

Story from Wounded Times

Vietnam Vet Andrew Elmer Wright found a home as a homeless vet

March 25, 2010

A simple casket with an American flag for Vietnam Veteran Andrew Elmer Wright.

A simple bouquet of flowers was placed with a simple photo a church member snapped.

By all accounts, Andrew was a simple man with simple needs but what was evident today is that Andrew was anything but a "simple" man.

A few days ago I received an email from Chaplain Lyle Schmeiser, DAV Chapter 16, asking for people to attend a funeral for a homeless Vietnam veteran. After posting about funerals for the forgotten for many years across the country, I felt compelled to attend.

As I drove to the Carey Hand Colonial Funeral Home, I imagined an empty room knowing how few people would show up for a funeral like this. All the other homeless veteran stories flooded my thoughts and this, I thought, would be just one more of them.

When I arrived, I discovered the funeral home was paying for the funeral. Pastor Joel Reif, of First United Church of Christ asked them if they could help out to bury this veteran and they did. They put together a beautiful service with Honor Guard and a 21 gun salute by the VFW post.

I asked a man there what he knew about Andrew and his eyes filled. He smiled and then told me how Andrew wouldn't drink the water from the tap. He'd send this man for bottled water, always insisting on paying for it. When the water was on sale, he'd buy Andrew an extra case of water but Andrew was upset because the man didn't use the extra money for gas.

Then Pastor Joel filled in more of Andrew's life. Andrew got back from Vietnam, got married and had children. His wife passed away and Andrew remarried. For some reason the marriage didn't work out. Soon the state came to take his children away. Andrew did all he could to get his children back, but after years of trying, he gave up and lost hope.
Discover the string of miracles that happened here

Finding miracles in Wounded Times

Inspirational reminders of miracles

PTSD Patrol
Stories from Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 13, 2020

With all the bad news in this country because of COVID-19, it is easy to become depressed. Social media has been spreading the bad news, division along with outright lies. Hopelessness follows.

But within the pages of friends sharing thoughts, there are messages of hope, love, humor, inspiration and miracles. Hope is fueled.

I take more comfort knowing there are people out there trying to make our days better than they would have been, than those constantly focusing on the negative.

A couple of days ago, I started searching the web for stories on miracles for a book I was planning on writing. In all honesty, I was searching to help my own mood as well.

Then it dawned on me that out of over 32,000 posts on Wounded Times, there is a treasure trove of miracles intended to fuel hope.

I opted to drop the book idea and decided to put the posts up here until I run out of them. Judging by the ones already discovered, that should take a long time to happen.
read it here

Here is the first one that just went up on PTSD Patrol
For those I love I will sacrifice

PTSD Patrol
Story from Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 13, 2020

One of the first post I put up on my views of faith, was in September 2007. To lay down his life for the sake of his friends posted September 26, 2007. Almost 900 people read it and shared it, plus 1,200+ subscribers sent it along with 90 followers. 

Do you think God abandoned you still? Come on and admit that while you were in the center of the trauma, you either felt the hand of God on your shoulder, or more often, never felt further from Him. In natural disasters, we pray to God to protect us. Yet when it's over we wonder why He didn't make the hurricane hit someplace else or why the tornadoes came and destroyed what we had while leaving the neighbors house untouched. We wonder why He heals some people while the people we love suffer. It is human nature to wonder, search for answers and try to understand.

In times of combat, it is very hard to feel anything Godly. Humans are trying to kill other humans and the horrors of wars become an evil act. The absence of God becomes overwhelming. We wonder how a loving God who blessed us with Jesus, would allow the carnage of war. We wonder how He could possibly forgive us for being a part of it. For soldiers, this is often the hardest personal crisis they face.

They are raised to love God and to be told how much God loves them. For Christians, they are reminded of the gift of Jesus, yet in moments of crisis they forget most of what Jesus went through.

Here are a few lessons and you don't even have to go to church to hear them.


And you can find the miracle that came afterwards....

April 18, 2008 I wrote the post PTSD Is Not God's Judgement to go along with the video. The video was put back up in 2015.

There is suddenly a lot of talk about "moral injury" and combat PTSD. It is survivor's guilt adding to what is known as PTSD but unlike other causes of PTSD, this one is harder to heal from. The good news is, you were not judged by God but He has put what you need to heal already in your soul. It is our job to connect you to it again. Contact Point Man International Ministries to show you the way.

Veteran dying of COVID-19, unable to speak, sang God Bless America before he died!

Veteran's last words hold special meaning to family

WCVB News
May 9, 2020

Tom McDermott was pretty amazing — he survived polio, nearly became a priest and even worked on nuclear submarines while he was in the military.

McDermott's family said goodbye to the 84-year-old who battled Alzheimer's and coronavirus in his final days, but it was his last words that left them all in awe.

"He was on comfort measures and there was no expectation he was communicating," said Vin McDermott, Tom's son.

Doctors said Tom McDermott's lungs were overwhelmed by the virus and he never spoke again. Instead, he sang.

While Tom McDermott's family was at mass, a call came from the hospital: his last words were a song: "God Bless America."

"I don't know where the memory to sing or the energy to sing came from," Vin McDermott said.
read it here

Devon Levesque prepares to bear crawl NY Marathon to save veterans...and thanks the Lord he can

Trainer prepares to 'bear crawl' entire New York City Marathon

Fox News
By Frank Miles
May 8, 2020

“When I found out about FitOps and how they were working with these heroic veterans who have made it through war but were struggling back at home, I made it my mission to get involved. My goal in bear crawling a marathon is to raise enough money to sponsor veterans and put them through FitOps camp and help them reach their goals,” the 27-year-old said.

Devon Lévesque Thank the Lord Every Day ✞

Amid the coronavirus pandemic, it’s still up in the air if New York City Marathon will happen in November.

One of Manhattan’s top fitness trainers, however, is gearing up for all of its 26.2 miles in a very unique way.

Devon Levesque, a partner in the high-end training facility Performix House in New York City, is training to do the marathon in a bear crawl where he will run on his hands and feet.

He told Fox News: “Bear crawl is a full body exercise where you walk on your hands and feet. It takes a lot of core, quad, and shoulder strength since all of your weight is on your hands, and your toes and back are parallel to the ground.”

He’s like "Fight Club," in 2020, without the anarchy.
read it here

From the New York Post

Song of comfort in Times Like These

Times Like These

Lyrics

I, I'm a one way motorway

I'm the one that drives away

Then follows you back home

I, I'm a street light shining

I'm a wild light blinding bright

Burning off alone

It's times like these you learn to live again

It's times like these you give and give again

It's times like these you learn to love again

It's times like these time and time again

I, I'm a new day rising

I'm a brand new sky

To hang the stars upon tonight

I am a little divided

Do I stay or run away

And leave it all behind?

It's times like these you learn to live again

It's times like these you give and give again

It's times like these you learn to love again

It's times like these time and time again

Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Nate Mendel / Dave Grohl / Taylor Hawkins / Chris Shiflett
Times Like These lyrics © Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., Universal Music Publishing Group, BMG Rights Management

"Story about hope and kindness, not fear and despair" retired Navy psychiatrist volunteer at hospice

In a Farmington hospice, a friendship bloomed among two veterans

Minneapolis Star-Tribune
By Reid Forgrave
MARCH 27, 2020

“I’ll have sadness when someone I care about is no longer around. That’s a hard thing about hospice. But there’s something that tempers that for me: the reality I’ve been able to help somebody in their last days of life.” Tim Magee

In these uncertain times, a visitor and a patient bond over rich life stories.

Tim Magee, left, must defer his visits to Dave Roberts for now. But he’s grateful for the friendship the two veterans have forged over the past year.

This is a story set in a place where people typically die — but it is a story about hope and kindness, not fear and despair. This is a story about small gestures of grace that have blossomed over the past several years at Trinity Care Center, an AseraCare hospice in Farmington, Minn.

Life and death are themes forever present at hospices, places where people are cared for and comforted through the final chapter of their lives as painlessly as possible.

But in these uncertain times, this is a story of light for all of us.
read it here
Linked from Philadelphia Enquirer

There is a passage out of darkness with PTSD and pandemic

Every dark passage

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
April 23, 2020

I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. John 12:46

Take comfort in knowing that every dark passage ends in light, otherwise it would be called a dead end instead of a passage. There is a way to get to the other side of whatever darkness surrounds you, but you will not reach it if you remain standing still.

You, Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. Psalm 18:28

Take comfort in knowing that this crisis will not last forever. As with all things, this time will pass and the stress will go away. Even though some of the memories may linger, you have the power over what you do with those dark memories, so you can make room to treasure the good ones.

Take comfort in knowing that you are not alone if you are dealing with PTSD on top of this pandemic. There are about 8 million other Americans with PTSD. In other words, 8 million other survivors learning how to live the rest of their lives after surviving whatever caused them to be hit by PTSD.

Being afraid to admit you are afraid leaves you stuck in the darkness. No one will know you need comforting, so they will not try to ease your fears. Human nature has most people programmed to respond to the needs of others. We see that today as more and more people are stepping up to, not just help save lives, but to help those who are on the front lines in need of help too!

The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day. Proverbs 4:18

Some will use a crisis for their own sake, but there are more trying to alleviate the burdens others carry. Right now, that is something that you can do just by being able to reach out for help, receive it and then, reach back out again to help others.

Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give. Matthew 10:8

You can change your life and help others find the light at the end of the passage. Imagine what their life will be like when you help them see they are not stuck in a dead end.

"More than a footnote" inspirational story of Martha Gellhorn

More than a footnote

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 20, 2020

My buddy Gunny likes to try to top me on discovering things I did not know. Well, he succeeded this morning. He told me about Martha Gellhorn. Funny thing is, he stumbled on her looking for something else.

As I listened to him tell me a little bit about her, I thought it would be a very inspirational story to share, especially while most of the country is under shelter at home restrictions. We all need something to inspire us, and yes, that includes me too.

It is very hard to even attempt to find something inspirational to share, when you do not even want to get out of PJs. Lately either I have been on Facebook sharing videos on cats, dogs or other animals from my sweet friends...or really sick jokes I am usually embarrassed by how hard I am laughing.

Anyway, before I get too carried away with that, back to Martha. She was married to Ernest Hemingway. Noteworthy as it is, they met while she was a war correspondent during the Spanish Civil War. She was on the beach on D-Day after being a stowaway and got her hands on a nurses uniform. The list of accomplishments in her life goes on and on, but the thing that got me was, for all she accomplished, she still felt like a footnote in Hemingway's life.

That is exactly how my buddy Gunny found her story...as a footnote.

The writer Martha Gellhorn, who reported on the Spanish Civil War for The New Yorker, and from the beaches of D Day in a nurse’s uniform. Photograph from AP / Shutterstock

Martha Gellhorn, Daring Writer, Dies at 89
Obituary

New York Times
By Rick Lyman
Feb. 17, 1998
Martha Ellis Gellhorn, who as one of the first female war correspondents covered a dozen major conflicts in a writing career spanning more than six decades, died on Sunday at her home in London. She was 89.

Ms. Gellhorn was a cocky, raspy-voiced maverick who saw herself as a champion of ordinary people trapped in conflicts created by the rich and powerful. That she was known to many largely because of her marriage to Ernest Hemingway, from 1940 to 1945, caused her unending irritation, especially when critics tried to find parallels between her lean writing style and that of her more celebrated husband.

''Why should I be a footnote to somebody else's life?'' she bitterly asked in an interview, pointing out that she had written two novels before meeting Hemingway and continued writing for almost a half-century after leaving him.

As a journalist, Ms. Gellhorn had no use for the notion of objectivity. The chief point of going to cover anything, she felt, was so you could tell what you saw, contradict the lies and let the bad guys have it.

"Nothing is better for self-esteem than survival."Martha Gellhorn

Right now, it is hard to get through all of this but that quote is something we should hang onto. "Nothing is better for self-esteem than survival." No matter how bad it is right now, when you think about all the things this woman went through, she survived all of it and lived to a good old age.

If it sucks for you right now...like it does for most of us, try to think back about other times when it sucked. When you didn't know how you would get passed it and then suddenly you did. We will get passed this too and there will be joy again. We will see our family and friends again. We'll be able to hug our kids and grandkids. We will get through this because right now there are angels moving all around us to make this world a better place in whatever way they can.

Enjoy the following about Martha and trust me, you jaw will go back into place when you are done with this.
read it here

Retired Mountie speaking out to change the PTSD conversation

A veteran Mountie shares his struggles with PTSD, hoping it will encourage others to seek help

Vancouver Sun
Lori Culbert
March 14, 2020

There were 25 documented RCMP suicides between January 2014 and December 2019, involving 15 active members and 10 retirees, Brien said. Postmedia has reported that between 2006 and 2014, there were 31 suicides by serving or retired Mounties.

It was a warm Sunday evening in April 1979 when John Buis, a 25-year-old Mountie with two years on the job, pulled over a dilapidated Lincoln Continental with Texas plates that had been speeding on Kingsway Avenue in Burnaby.

He radioed in the licence plate number, but it was 8:30 p.m. on a Sunday night and the computer system was slow, so no information was immediately available. Buis and his partner Jack Robinson called for backup before checking the identification of the seven people who spilled out of the messy, dirty car stopped near Imperial Avenue.

After Const. Merv Korolek responded to the scene, the three officers searched the car. They made some disturbing finds among the discarded food wrappers and other garbage: ammunition and a rifle scope in the back seat, and a sawed-off rifle in a plastic bag in the trunk.

He sought help at Vancouver’s Operational Stress Injury Clinic, which caters to police and soldiers, and from there attended a nine-week residential treatment program in Saanich.

He is speaking out today to encourage a larger conversation about mental health among first responders, who are often hesitant to ask for help.
read it here

Iraq veteran PTSD survivor proud to cry because it helped him heal

This Iraq War Vet Cheated Death 3 Times. He's Proud to Cry About It.

Men's Health
BY LAUREN LARSON
MAR 12, 2020

FitOps, which counts zero suicides among its alumni, cracked Somers open like that first grenade did. For most of his life, he had been motivated by men around him—his cartel-wealthy veteran uncle, or his hardcore first sergeant. In telling his story, and seeing how other people were affected and moved to tell theirs, Somers found his own strong sense of purpose.

Somers after joining FitOps, which helped him discover a new way to cope with PTSD and his harsh upbringing.
BENEDICT EVANS

FROM ABOVE, YOU WOULD have seen two battered Humvees streaking down a rutted freeway, one behind the other in the center lane, surrounded by miles of Iraq’s parched terrain. As they approached an overpass, one moved into the far-left lane and the other moved far right. Afterward, the trucks weaved back into the same lane.

It was July 2003, and trucks were getting blown up every day in Iraq—insurgents often dropped grenades from overpasses. Bobby Somers, a 23-year-old specialist in the U. S. Army, sat behind the wheel of the second beat-up Humvee, fondly code-named Bertha. Clad in tan fatigues, he had one hand on the wheel, the other on a machine gun pointed out the window. A tiny earbud snaked into his left ear, pumping 50 Cent’s Get Rich or Die Tryin’ album from a CD player tucked beneath his seat. Somers had driven thousands of miles like this without incident, and he felt invincible.

After both attacks, Somers was offered a medical discharge, but he stayed. “I remember when I got back into that truck, I was crying,” he says. “I didn’t want to drive out the gate. But I was more scared to let people know I was scared.”

Which brings us to another time Somers nearly died, years after he’d finished his tour, while at his home in Texas. He went into his bathroom, put a gun in his mouth, and almost pulled the trigger. Fate had intervened twice to save Somers’s life. Now he would need a different kind of help.
read it here

Women in Military Service for America Memorial

3 remarkable women warriors to honor

Connecting Vets
KAYLAH JACKSON
MARCH 09, 2020

        Rear Admiral Grace Hooper--- Corporal Jessica Ellis---Brigadier General Hazel Johnson-Brown

Women veterans are the fastest-growing segment of the veteran population and have been serving in the Armed Forces since the Civil War. This is why we think it's only right to recognize a few of the women who dedicated their lives to serving their country, some of them making the ultimate sacrifice.
Here are three notable women buried in Arlington Cemetery and whose information is stored in the Women in Military Service for America Memorial.
read it here

100 enthusiastic women veterans fix up shelter for homeless women

Female veterans refurbish D.C. facility for homeless women

The Washington Times
By Sophie Kaplan
March 5, 2020

The Mission Continues, an organization that matches former members of the U.S. armed services with leadership and service opportunities across the country, brought about 100 enthusiastic women veterans, including Ms. Edwards, to Calvary in Anacostia to refurbish the facility.

Veterans Jamicka Edwards (left) and Elis Salamone from The Mission Continues’ women’s leadership fellowship program repaint the outdoor space at Calvary Women’s Services on Thursday in the District. (Sophie Kaplan/The Washington Times)

Jamicka Edwards held back tears when she arrived Thursday to do a community service project at Calvary Women’s Services, a transitional housing provider for homeless women.

The 41-year-old Indiana native was once homeless herself.

“It is even more special to me that I am here being able to give back in this capacity because I know what it’s like for these women, Ms. Edwards said. “Some of their stories, I was there, I get it.”
read it here

Determined Combat Photographer Marine Did Not Give Up

Female Marine combat photographer paves the way

We Are The Mighty
Jessica Manfre
Mar. 04, 2020

The Marine Corps has the longest boot camp out of all of the armed forces and arguably the toughest to graduate from. In 2004 when she wanted to join, only 6% of enlisted Marines were female. Kirk-Cuomo did part of the physical fitness test right then and there in front of that recruiter.

Erin Kirk-Cuomo dreamed of being a combat photographer. She interviewed with multiple companies and publications within the civilian world, but none of them were willing to hire a female photographer for that position.

So, she decided to join the military.

She chose to go into the United States Marine Corps. When she opened the doors to the Armed Forces recruitment office in 2004, she was ready to raise her right hand and do just that. But Kirk-Cuomo was told she couldn't be a combat photographer, because she was female.
read it here

Columbus Vietnam Veteran got last wish to ride "on Sunday, a group of riders made his dream possible"

Motorcycle clubs come together to offer Vietnam vet one last ride

NBC 4 News
by: Danielle Avitable
Posted: Feb 23, 2020

COLUMBUS (WCMH) — A local Vietnam veteran had one last wish while in hospice care, and that was to ride a motorcycle one more time.

On Sunday, a group of riders made his dream possible.

Vietnam veteran Roger L. Smith was wheeled out of the house, surrounded by loved ones and riders. 

“I said I want to get on a bike at least one time before I die,” said Smith. And that’s what he got. “He requested a last ride and, for us, it’s veterans helping veterans,” said Steve Murray of Combat Veterans Motorcycle Club.

In addition to Combat Veteran, other groups taking part in the ride included Ohio Patriot Bikers and Punishers Law Enforcement Motorcycle Club. Smith’s health has been declining over the last three weeks. read it here

National Guard Soldier did not live to see his son born, but now all can see his love!

Soldier dad added to family pictures, overlooks infant son born after his death

KWTX News
February 21, 2020

PERHAM, Minn. (KVLY/Gray News) - Charles Nord never got to meet his infant son Jack, but in a new family photograph, the late Minnesota National Guard soldier is there overlooking his young family.

In pictures by photographer Sarah Jean, the chief warrant officer is superimposed, proudly looking over this wife Kaley’s shoulder at his newborn son, Jack Charles Nord, and his toddler daughter, Lydia.

Little Jack was born February 11, about two months after his father died in a Dec. 5 Black Hawk helicopter crash near St. Cloud.

The images of Charles Nord were added to a pair of pictures from a recent family photo shoot. Jean had done photo sessions with the family before.
read it here

Heroes Horizon helped repair more than a roof for elderly veteran

Nonprofit organization remodels house for veteran Army nurse

NBC 10 NEWS
by SAM READ
February 15th 2020

NARRAGANSETT, R.I. (WJAR) — A veteran Army nurse from Narragansett is getting a new roof over her head, literally.

Dozens of volunteers who heard she needed some home repairs stepped up to help her.

“Some of these guys have brand new babies at home, some of them came hundreds of miles to help out this weekend,” said Ken Gayles, the Project Manager for Heroes’ Horizons.

Heroes’ Horizons is a non-profit organization based out of Rhode Island that helps veterans.

“My son was a veteran, he came home he was not well and we lost him eventually,” said Gayles. “I started this because of him, if a veteran needing heating oil, electricity bill paid, had nothing in the refrigerator, we like to provide it for them that day if possible.”
read it here

Inspirational Amputee: "It's so life-altering, but it's not life-ending."

San Diego amputee war veteran on a path to inspire

ABC 10 News
By: Amanda Brandeis
Feb 06, 2020

Doc ultimately made US Naval and Marine Corps history after becoming the first amputee Corpsman assigned to an infantry unit.

SAN DIEGO (KGTV) - After losing his leg in Iraq, a San Diego veteran is accomplishing more at age 34 than most do in a lifetime.

"I love being active because of that inspiration it gives other people. I know a lot of people, especially new amputees, that I come across, they think that their time is up," said Doc Jacobs, a medically retired Navy Corpsman.

Doc was only 18 months into his service when his platoon endured an IED explosion.

He underwent 78 surgeries, losing his left leg (below the knee), three toes from his right foot, and three partial fingers from his left hand.

But he wasn't done serving his country.

"It's so life-altering, but it's not life-ending."

Doc ultimately made US Naval and Marine Corps history after becoming the first amputee Corpsman assigned to an infantry unit.

"I did another six-and-a-half years overall, from detonation to discharge."
read it here

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it

Does it offend you because you did not ask for it?

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 31, 2019

When someone offers to pay for something you need, do you allow your pride to reject the offer? Does it offend you because you did not ask for it?

Too many times we do not believe we deserve help, even though we know we need it. If we decide to go-it-alone, we remain where we are, suffering within the darkness we created. It suffocates hope.

The Word Became Flesh
1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
2 He was with God in the beginning.
3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.
4 In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind.
5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:1-5

We have been conditioned to believe that we need to get right with God in order for Him to hear us, see us suffering and then solve our problems. The truth is, God does hear you, see you and He also knows what you are going through.
read it here

The rest of this post is about how Jesus changed the life of someone who did not ask for it. That man was Saul of Tarsus. He could have rejected the offer, but he made the choice to accept the change he never knew he needed.

If you have been suffering, do not reject the hope that you need but may believe you do not deserve it. Saul did not deserve it, in the eyes of other humans...but Jesus saw more within him.