What do they need to hear?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 18, 2023

Sometimes it isn't what they want to hear. The thing is, it is always what they need to hear.

The Shock

When you transitioned from your normal life, into the victim, and onto survivor, those were massive changes to deal with.

First, there is the shock that it happened to you. One moment you were just like everyone else. Or was it just how you assumed everyone was? The reality is, everyone has a backstory that you didn't know. And now, most people won't know what your backstory is unless you tell them.

How do you do that? How do you explain to them how your life changed without warning and so did you? It may frighten them because suddenly they become aware their life can also change without warning too.

As you go through the changes of PTSD, the people in your life do as well.

The Denial

They want to deny it changed you almost as much as you do.

You left your house and the people in your life as they always knew you to be, but returned to them as a survivor. They are confused. They don't understand what it is like for you. Some may want to give you time to return to how you were. You may expect that too. Some will want to give you space and leave you alone to "deal" with it. That may be what you want too.

A time comes when they expect you to just "get over it" so everyone can go back to the way things were before. They get tired of hearing about it. You get tired of trying to explain to them something they will never fully understand unless it happens to them. It is worse when you don't understand it either.

How do you find the words to communicate what they need to hear? You start by finding the words you need to hear for yourself to understand. There are over 40 years of research online now and even more books you can find that were out there longer you can find. There are videos online to help you, not just understand, but to find comfort in the simple fact you are not alone.

Things change when you change the conversation you have with them.

In The Scribe Of Salem, that is how lives were changed for all the characters in the book.

Reviewed by Parul Sood for Readers' Favorite The Scribe of Salem: Ministers of the Mystery by Kathie Costos is an enthralling debut in a series that seamlessly blends fantasy, supernatural horror, and elements of spirituality. The story follows Chris, a former war journalist grappling with PTSD from his fieldwork and a turbulent marriage that subjected him to abuse. Struggling to find purpose and often drowning his sorrows in alcohol, Chris's life takes an unexpected turn when he reconnects with an old friend, sparking a newfound hope. As Chris engages in conversations and encounters that seem divinely guided, he begins to believe that a higher power is watching over him and urging him to seek out Mandy—a healer who has transformed his friend's life. Fueled by this belief, Chris embarks on a quest to find Mandy, not only to document her spiritual teachings in a book but also in the hope of transforming his own life.

In The Scribe of Salem, Kathie Costos skillfully weaves a narrative that delves into Chris's struggles and his journey toward healing and self-discovery. The author's exploration of spirituality goes beyond conventional religious boundaries, inviting readers to contemplate the profound power of faith in oneself and in the presence of something greater. Through Chris's meeting with Mandy, readers are taken on a captivating journey that merges supernatural horror with the themes of redemption, personal growth, and the transformative nature of spiritual experiences. The characters in The Scribe of Salem are vividly depicted and elicit empathy from readers. Chris's emotional journey resonates deeply as he confronts his past traumas and seeks solace and meaning in a world that often feels bleak. Costos's adept characterization brings authenticity and relatability to the story, allowing readers to connect with the protagonist on his quest for redemption.

Every single one of them had to find the courage to tell their backstory. They could offer hope because someone took the time to give it to them. It is a healing chain passed on from one to another, quietly, without seeking anything for themselves. The only thing they wanted was to pass on what was given to them.

So what is it people need to hear from you? They can't help you if they do not know what you need. They will only make assumptions about what you are going through, and most of the time, it comes out negatively. With understanding, help can come elevating needless turmoil and restoring hope. None of it can happen until you decide to say what you don't want to, so they can hear what they need to.

13th Minister Of Salem "accomplished paranormal chiller to devour."

There are many goals authors have when they write a book. By the time we're finished, we hope we achieved everything we intended to do. When the 13th Minister Of Salem was finished, I was satisfied with the results. I hoped someone else would feel the same way. After all, it's a big book with 328 pages.

I wanted to tell stories we all know differently to, not only change the conversation but to help people see how much power they have within themself to make a difference. That put the 13th Minister Of Salem into what publishers consider a genre-bender.

genre-bending (uncountable) The subversion of tropes associated with a particular artistic genre or the synthesis of multiple genres.

I always viewed myself as a heretic while my older brother called me a witch. There is an ongoing joke in my family centered on this including being given a baby broom in the crib. When our daughter was little and we were taking a trip to Salem, she said we were going to visit my relatives. I had to remind her that if they were mine, then they were hers too. 

Salem has always been close to my heart and so was my spiritual connection to God. I viewed the history of the witch accusations in a different way from the rest of my family. I couldn't just look at all the horror inflicted upon innocent people. I had to see past the suffering to consider what happened when people stood up against the mob rule and put the trials to an end. That was a goal I had to achieve.

I attended the church my family went to, but I reached out to God more often on my own. Yes, I am Christian, because I do believe Jesus was and is the Son Of God. I do not agree with the division of what He started with all the manmade rules. Churchgoers tend to see their chosen affiliation as the only right one. All that is fine because God gave all of us free will to make our own choices. 

In the process of all this, I read the Bible on my own and found it filled with love, power, and many things I never heard preached in church. Sharing what is there few have heard was another goal I wanted to accomplish.

There were several others along with wanting to expand the target audience, but not the reason you may be expecting. I wanted to reach more people to let them know something else that society has gotten wrong. The survivors of events causing PTSD are not what they think they are. They are not all veterans. They are not someone to feel sorry for. They don't have to feel helpless or hopeless. They are not weak. They are not defective or any other label they have been given especially the victim label. They, including me, are survivors!

Considering the review I received from Readers' Favorite, I achieved what I set out to do. I cried when I read it because I also achieved more than I hoped for!

Marketability: 5

Marketability refers to how effectively you wrote your book for your target audience. Authors may include content that is above or below the understanding of their target reader, or include concepts, opinions, or language that can accidentally confuse or alienate some readers. Although by its nature this rating is very subjective, a very low rating here and poor reviews may indicate an issue with your book in this area.

Overall Opinion: 5

The overall starred rating takes into account all these elements and describes the overall reading experience of your reviewer. This is the official Readers' Favorite review rating for your book.

Reviewed by K.C. Finn for Readers' Favorite 5-stars

"I recommend 13th Minister Of Salem to fans of the existing series as another accomplished paranormal chiller to devour."

Penned by Kathie Costos, 13th Minister Of Salem is a work in the supernatural horror, suspense, and gothic drama subgenres, forming the third installment in the Ministers Of The Mystery series. It is best suited to mature adult readers owing to its dark content and adult situations. In this profoundly intriguing continuation of the series, we find ourselves back with Chris as word of his achievements and talents has spread, but this only leads to more trouble for our hero. Trying to get married would be hard enough without the constant death threats from the cult of the now-defeated Haman Cain, let alone the Master’s warning that his end-time is drawing near.

Kathie Costos brings us back into the world of gothic suspense, deep drama, and a chilling thriller with a bang in this third installment in the series. 

I found myself deeply involved in Chris’s psychological storyline. We see the painfully realistic damage that his adventures, battles, and triumphs have left him with over the events of the first two novels. 

I felt his pain, isolation, and pressure deep in my soul; such is the efficacy of Costos’s intimate narrative, thought, and speech portrayal. 

The darkest elements of the work are also well-handled to avoid being gratuitous but remain chilling to the core. I recommend 13th Minister Of Salem to fans of the existing series as another accomplished paranormal chiller to devour.

Discover more here 

Have you lost hope that people can change?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 10, 2023

Michelangelo, conversione di saulo, 1542-45, 10,1.jpg

These are troubling times we live in. That is one thing most of us agree on. It is easy to lose hope that people can change and want to repair the rift instead of making it wider and deeper. The problem is not in the fact it happened but in our own desire to change what is.

Impossible Transformations: How Do People Change?

People’s Minds Are Often Not Led By Reason or Facts
Research shows that, despite public belief, people’s minds are often not led by reason or facts. Instead, forces like confirmation bias and group membership shape their judgment and belief systems. TedX

The article went on to add,

“Agreeing with the group stimulates the reward pathway; trying to defy the group stimulates many of the same brain regions that fire during drug withdrawal,” the article states. This stimulation explains why and how people can believe so strongly in anti-science beliefs that are supported by group membership rather than founded on fact or reason.

People can change and we've seen evidence of that in negative as well as positive ways.

In the same article, there was this video worth watching if you are seeking some proof.

Gerardo Lopez grew up in gang territory in Los Angeles, California, and was just 14 years old when he joined MS-13, the notorious Salvadorian gang. Why did he join and why did he leave? In this courageous talk, Gerardo reveals how we can help others get out and stay out of gangs. Gerardo "Clever" Lopez has worked in gang intervention for over two decades. Formerly of the notorious Los Angeles gang MS-13, Gerardo escaped gang life and now ensures that at-risk youth from making the same mistakes. He is the Executive Director of the Denver chapter of Homies Unidos, a nonprofit dedicated to ending violence and promoting peace through gang intervention and prevention. Gerardo is an avid baseball fan waiting for the Dodgers to win the World Series, and the subject of the award-winning, short documentary CLEVER. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.

If you want more, then a perfect example of this is Saul of Tarsus. Most people know him as Saint Paul. He went on the preach to and reach the Gentiles. None of what he accomplished would have been possible if God and Jesus gave up on him. They knew his soul and his intentions well enough to keep trying to get through to him.

He was hunting down followers of Jesus after He returned to heaven. He went with "group membership" and was regarded as heroic in his endeavors to eradicate the heretical believers. According to all accounts, he was filled with joy as they were being executed.

Saul Makes Trouble for the Church
At that time the church in Jerusalem suffered terribly. All of the Lord's followers, except the apostles, were scattered everywhere in Judea and Samaria. 3 Saul started making a lot of trouble for the church. He went from house to house, arresting men and women and putting them in jail.

He was convinced that the group of people he belonged to were right and it was all reinforced by his belief that he was serving God. After all, his friends admired him and his dedication to killing off the followers of Jesus. That is until he was made to understand how blind he was on the road to Damascus.

The Damascus Road: Saul Converted
9 Then Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, went to the high priest 2 and asked letters from him to the synagogues of Damascus, so that if he found any who were of the Way, whether men or women, he might bring them bound to Jerusalem.

3 As he journeyed he came near Damascus, and suddenly a light shone around him from heaven. 4 Then he fell to the ground, and heard a voice saying to him, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?”

5 And he said, “Who are You, Lord?”

Then the Lord said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads.”

6 So he, trembling and astonished, said, “Lord, what do You want me to do?”

Then the Lord said to him, “Arise and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

7 And the men who journeyed with him stood speechless, hearing a voice but seeing no one. 8 Then Saul arose from the ground, and when his eyes were opened he saw no one. But they led him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. 9 And he was three days without sight, and neither ate nor drank.

After he was able to see clearly, most of the people he knew turned against him as he turned closer to God and what he was supposed to do, and was forgiven for all he had done. Was he perfect afterward? No. God does not require perfection from anyone.

All this goes to show that human nature has not changed since the beginning of time. Our thoughts have changed. Our beliefs changed. Our view of the world changed. What has not changed is our ability to change ourselves.

No matter how rotten you see others, consider the simple fact that people doing bad things make the news no matter where you live. There are still more good people in the world and many of them, as you watched in the video above, changed their ways and then went on to help others find their way to change as well. It is all choices we make to do or ignore.

People, like Saul, were led to believe the lies and it was up to him to believe the truth or insist on following the mob rulers and make people suffer for the lies they spread.

What do you do when you need to choose between what you know is right, truthful, and honorable while everyone you know acts against what you know in your soul is wrong and terrible? Do you find the courage to stand up and walk away from them or do you stay with them while they continue to infect your soul? Are you avoiding allowing the miracle that is waiting for you to make you the best person you can be? 

"O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things?"

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

May 9, 2023

Let it be this if you take nothing else away from this post, remember this. James 2:14-17

14 What doth it profit, my brethren, though a man say he hath faith, and have not works? can faith save him?

15 If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,

16 And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?

17 Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

How often have you heard people offering "thoughts and prayers" when others are hurting? More people dying and being wounded, along with being tariffed because someone decided they wanted to kill as many strangers as possible, as fast as possible? 

I'm sure you're tired of hearing it as much as you are repulsed by the fact their thoughts do not prove they are thinking about solutions. It proves their prayers are not really for the lives but more so for what they want to protect. Guns and the expanded ability of anyone to get them, load them, and aim them at everyone in their path, matter more than people just trying to live their lives.

How often have you heard people claiming that the problem is mental illness and not guns used to kill others? For whatever reason, they turn around and, not only protect the guns but unconscionably expand the ability for more people to obtain them.

These same people refuse to fund mental health agencies to care for those with that illness. The result is, more people facing mental health challenges they would not have had had it not been for the mass murderers given the ability to traumatize them. We have an ever-increasing population of people with #PTSD and will keep claiming more lives because hope has been taken from them due to the lack of deeds.

All too often, these same people turn around and claim to be Christian leaders, yet show nothing Christlike in their deeds. Most people see them for what they truly are. They are usurpers of faith and what they view as power over the people they are supposed to be serving.

Some people will assume they are to be believed because they show up at church, or, just say the words they believe. Never once allowing the simple truth that people can claim to be/believe anything they want to say, and yet, scriptures point out that is not what we should pay attention to.

"34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things." 

Matthew 12:34-35

If they were speaking the truth, they would prove it in what they do. It is up to you to prove what it is you value more with your own deeds. Contact them since you pay for their offices, phone lines, computers, and staff to respond to you. If they do not change their ways, change their jobs by voting them out of office. Stop supporting those that use your true faith as a weapon of power for themselves.

Deep dive research-veteran suicides 44 a day!

Veterans' Healthcare and the Political Divide after a Mass Shooting

CNN's Kim Brunhuber speaks with professor and retired U.S. Air Force colonel, Mona Pearl Treyball, about veterans' mental health care in the wake of the mass shooting in Atlanta, where authorities say the shooter was a veteran. Watch the video here

Who is Mona Pearl Treyball? Why is what she said about the rate of suicides in veterans being closer to 44 a day important? Because too many just jumped on the headline of 22 a day and never once bothered to read the report from the VA back in 2012!

I did. I've been screaming about all this ever since but without the data, all I had was an educated guess. I thought it was over 70. Maybe I'm still right when you factor everything else in. The thing is, we know she has facts.

I just got vindicated because I was called a liar when I said it wasn't 22 a day. No matter who I talked to and pointed out the facts, I was called a liar. I was called a liar by strangers. What hurt the most was that I was also called a liar by friends that knew how seriously I took all this. All of it piled up and I stopped trying to help change the outcome for veterans. 

Sure I still do what I can but considering no one is talking about PTSD in the rest of us, I figured I'd be able to make a bigger difference without people deciding to make money off our suffering and get in the way of what works.