Fire Department Captain opens up about PTSD and being courageous

Local firefighter opens up about dark side of the job
By: MADELYN JANSSEN
Posted: Sep 27, 2018

Robinson wants other first responders to know it's not only ok, but good to talk about how the calls affect them. And he wants to be an example of how you can come out the other side, and find a path back to happiness. Society, friends and family can all play a part in breaking the stigma around asking for help. "Ask the tough questions if you think someone is struggling. You will never regret asking, you will regret not asking."

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. - "Suck it up buttercup." That's the stigma Kern County Fire Department Captain Derek Robinson is fighting to change. He's been with the department for more than 17 years. It was only last year that he himself dropped the act, and decided it was time to ask for help. In August he detailed that fight to overcome his emotional injuries, in a Facebook post. He's sharing that to help reach anyone else struggling with the same demons.

A study last year said first responders are more likely to die from suicide than in the line of duty. PTSD and depression rates among first responders are as much as five times higher than among civilians. Robinson didn't realize for years that he was among those suffering. But the Friday after Thanksgiving 2017 he was called to a scene that changed that. A family was ripped apart by a drunk driver. A mother and child killed in a crash along Highway 99. "You can't respond and not feel something, especially when you see the impact on the family. Here's a family on Thanksgiving day traveling and their lives were not just interrupted, but completely destroyed and they lost a mother and a child, you can't absorb that. You just can't." Robinson suffered from sleepless nights. He turned to self-medication at times. He lost relationships and lost his passion for the job. 

Years of repeated exposure to trauma had taken their toll. It was a month after that Thanksgiving crash that Robinson decided to seek help. That changed everything. "Where I am now is drastically different from where I am today by getting help. This is more of an injury and same as a physical injury it can be dealt with."
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“Heart of the LAPD Walk: We Stand Together"

'Nobody fights alone'
Angelus News
R.W. Dellinger
Sept. 20, 2018

At an LAPD event marking Suicide Prevention Month, new police chief Michel Moore opens up about the deadly threat facing officers away from the streets

LAPD Chief Michel Moore hugs Melissa Swailes, whose husband David committed suicide in 2016 after nearly 10 years on the force. (VICTOR ALEMÁN/ANGELUS)

“We pride ourselves at the Los Angeles Police Department in being a family, but sometimes we don’t take care of each other like a family,” Los Angeles Police Department Chief Michel Moore told fellow officers, civilian support staffers, and their families.

It was a little after 9 a.m., the cloudy haze almost burnt off on this September 9 Sunday morning at the department’s police academy in Elysian Park.

The city’s new chief of police and other speakers were on a raised black stage on the track ringing a grassy infield. And they were speaking before the start of “Heart of the LAPD Walk: We Stand Together,” a 5K walk in the name of suicide awareness and prevention.

“And yet we know we don’t. We train, act, and live as a team. No one fights alone. But yet why has it been in the last 20 years we’ve lost 16 officers in the line of duty but 36 to suicide?

“We have such an aversion at times asking for a backup because of what we just saw or something we’re experiencing here in the department or at home. We’ve got to talk about this as uncomfortable as some may feel. But we can do better. And I know we can,” he said.

Being a police officer in the U.S. is indeed a dangerous occupation. Last year, 129 died in the line of duty. Many more were seriously injured and disabled for life.
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Same message being delivered on this site and PTSD Patrol! 

Over half of the suicides worldwide are in America?

Well this is shocking!

Every year, almost 80,000 people across the world take their own lives. In the UK alone, more than 6,000 people commit suicide each year - an average of 18 per day. Today marks World Suicide Prevention Day, an annual event designed to raise awareness of suicide and reach out to those who are struggling to cope.

No, not because the number of known suicides is so high. 

It is shocking because according to the CDC, the US is more than half of them!

Suicide rates have been rising in nearly every state, according to the latest Vital Signs report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). In 2016, nearly 45,000 Americans age 10 or older died by suicide. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death and is one of just three leading causes that are on the rise.

And now that you know that, still willing to settle for "suicide awareness" instead of letting them know how they can heal and find hope again?

Military writer, 53, hanged herself beside love letter to her husband

Military writer, 53, hanged herself beside love letter to her husband as memory loss and ME began to stop her ability to pen articles
Daily Mail
By TERRI-ANN WILLIAMS FOR MAILONLINE
31 August 2018

Kate Perrett-Clarke's symptoms meant she was overwhelmed by fatigue
Mother of three compared getting around her home to 'running a marathon'
Writer was described as a 'joy and a whirlwind' by family and friends

A talented writer and mother of three hanged herself after she began losing her ability to pen magazine articles due to bouts of illness.

Kate Perrett-Clarke, 53, had forged a successful career in writing academic pieces for military publications but her medical conditions, which included memory loss and the chronic fatigue syndrome ME left her barely able to draw a clock face.

This inability to continue to pursue her passion led her to take her own life.

She was found by her husband Malcolm last March, next to her was a love letter she had previously penned to him before he had travelled to Scotland for six weeks.
read more here

Edmonton Firefighter Suffered in Silence

#BreakTheSilence
Marc Renaud took a job to save others as a firefighter. He was surrounded by others willing to die to do the same. 

So why didn't he think he was worth saving too?
#TakeBackYourLife

Edmonton firefighter’s death prompts discussion about PTSD, mental health
Global News
By Julia Wong
Digital Broadcast Journalist
September 1, 2018

Paul Semeniuk, president of Mental Rescue Society, said showing support is key to helping someone in distress.

“A lot of people… don’t want to say the wrong thing. They don’t know what to say to show comfort or show empathy. A lot of people will just step back. I think it’s important that we step forward and show we are supportive,” he said.

Hundreds of firefighters from the Edmonton area gathered Saturday at the funeral of one of their own, as the fire chief spoke openly about mental health and post traumatic stress disorder.

Marc Renaud, 29, died by suicide last weekend. Renaud, who was off-duty, had been with Edmonton Fire Rescue Services for approximately seven years.

In 2014, another firefighter in Edmonton died by suicide, according to the organization Heroes are Human.
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Montana suicide rate is getting worse but people are fighting back

Montana had the highest suicide rate in the country
NBC News
by Phil McCausland, Elizabeth Chuck and Annie Flanagan
Aug.28.2018 

Then budget cuts hit.

Suicide has been a persistent problem in Montana — and it’s getting worse. Now, some who have lost loved ones are mobilizing to stop the deaths.

“It’s one of those things, especially if you’re a male, not to ask for help,” Ranalli, 39, said. “People I served with, they don’t want to reach out and say ‘Hey, I’m having some problems, and I need to talk to somebody.’”

Ranalli spends an evening with his family. He plans to be open with his six children about his mental health so they feel comfortable discussing any struggles with him. Annie Flanagan / for NBC News

For Ranalli, the problems started in 2005 after several Army buddies in his unit were killed in Iraq, some by a bomb, others in a firefight. The same year, on his second deployment there, Ranalli was hit by a roadside bomb, ending his dream of a long Army career. He returned home with a traumatic brain injury, stuck in a cycle of nightmares, flashbacks, anger, depression and anxiety. The following year, two more friends died while fighting in Iraq. By 2012, Ranalli was overwhelmed by survivor’s guilt and frustration over his inability to rejoin the Army. One night, his wife found him in their garage, blackout drunk and attempting suicide.

But he fought back!

“I felt like a burden,” he said. “I’ve seen what [suicide] does to families, but at the time, you just don’t think about it.”

Ranalli’s wife convinced him to get help, but it eventually became clear that the treatment he needed wasn’t available in Helena. There was a traveling VA clinic that came through once a month, but nothing permanent, so he underwent months of treatment out of state, in San Diego.

After his health improved and he returned home, Ranalli decided to channel his frustration with Montana’s mental health care shortfalls into action. He worked on a letter-writing campaign for a permanent veterans mental health clinic in his hometown, and this spring, the Helena Vet Center held its grand opening. So far, it’s provided over 1,055 mental health visits to nearly 150 veterans and family members. Ranalli is one of them; he receives treatment there for post-traumatic stress disorder. click link to read more

KY Firefighter Shares His Battle Against PTSD

KY Firefighter Shares His Battle Against PTSD
Firehouse
August 24, 2018

Veteran Burlington firefighter Phil Hall opens up in this news segment about his struggle with PTSD after 18 years of witnessing difficult incidents.

Los Angeles County Fire Department Mourning Capt. Wayne Habell

Funeral Plans for Los Angeles County Fire Captain Include Santa Barbara Burial
Noozhawk
By Janene Scully, Noozhawk North County Editor
August 24, 2018

Memorial for Wayne Habell set for Saturday at Camarillo church; graveside service will be Monday at Santa Barbara Cemetery

Firefighters from the Montecito Fire Protection District salute as a motorcade bearing the body of Los Angeles County fire Capt. Wayne Habell is transported south to Camarillo on Thursday. Services will be Saturday in Camarillo and Monday at Santa Barbara Cemetery. (Peter Hartmann / Noozhawk photo)

Los Angeles County fire captain Wayne Habell will be buried at the Santa Barbara Cemetery on Monday afternoon following a funeral two days earlier at a Camarillo church.

Habell, 43, died earlier this month of a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

His body was found Aug. 18 in Hot Springs Canyon above Montecito after he had been missing for several days.

He was last seen Aug. 13 leaving his home in Newhall headed to a gym in Stevenson Ranch. On Aug. 17, his vehicle was found parked near the trailhead on East Mountain Drive.

Habell had served the agency for 13 years, according to the Los Angeles County Firefighters IAFF Local 1014.
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Original story
Missing Firefighter Captain Wayne Habell

108 firefighters took their lives last year, most go unreported

Fire Captains talk post-traumatic stress injury in firefighters
KUSI San Diego
Carlos Amezcua
August 20, 2018

Last year, 108 firefighters took their lives. It is estimated that 40% of suicides within the firefighter community go unreported due to the stigma placed on mental health issues.

Post-traumatic stress injuries are having a devastating impact on all of our first responders, including firefighters.

Carlos Amezcua sat down with Fire Captain Jeff Griffith and Jeff Dill from the National Firefighters Behavioral Health Alliance to talk about firefighter PTSI and suicide prevention.

Post-traumatic stress injury (PTSI) is a mental health injury and is the leading cause of death for first responders. PTSI occurs with repeated exposure to life altering events, such as being on the front lines of repeated disaster. Fires, homicides, mass shootings, and domestic violence are just a few of the traumatic events firefighters face on a regular basis.

These are life changing events, not only for the individual civilians involved, but also for the first responders who address these issues regularly in the line of duty. According to Jeff Dill, firefighter suicides out pace line of duty deaths by 50%, in other words, half of all deaths in the firefighting community are suicides.
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Topeka VA Employee found dead in office

Employee found dead inside Topeka VA Medical Center office
Topeka Capital Journal
Katie Moore
August 14, 2018

A Veterans Affairs employee died Tuesday morning inside an administrative office at Topeka’s Colmery O’Neil VA Medical Center.

Joe Burks, spokesman for the VA Eastern Kansas Health Care System, said the employee died of an apparent suicide.

“Today we suffered a great loss and our hearts are broken,” Burks said in a statement.

Officials are still working to understand the circumstances.
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Officer Stewart Beasley Lost Battle For His Own Life

Missing Baytown officer found dead Tuesday morning
KHOU
Author: David Gonzalez, Jamie Galvan
August 7, 2018

Sheriff Hawthorne said everyone is trying to understand how a local hero who seemed to have everything going for him would make the tragic decision to end his life.

Officer Stewart Beasley, a 23-year veteran, was last seen at his Chambers County home around 3:30 p.m. Thursday. His wife reported him missing that night.

CHAMBERS COUNTY, Texas — The search for a missing Baytown Police officer is over.

Chambers County Sheriff’s Office deputies, along with Texas Search and Rescue, discovered the body of Officer Stewart Beasley around 8:30 a.m. Tuesday.

Beasley’s body was found in a field less than a mile from his home.

Chambers County Sheriff Brian Hawthorne said Beasley died from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound.

“We’re cops. We’re supposed to stand in the face of evil, and so sometimes it’s hard for us to admit that we have a problem. It’s hard for us to admit we’re dealing with issues that we can’t cope with, because we’re supposed to be able to cope with anything.” 
Lt. Dorris read more here

Fire Captain Lost Battle With PTSD

Missing Orting firefighter who suffered from PTSD found dead
BY Q13 NEWS STAFF
JULY 22, 2018

ORTING, Wash. — A member of the Orting Fire Department who suffered from PTSD was found dead Sunday. Captain Art Vazquez had been missing since Saturday.

“It’s with a heavy heart that Orting Valley Fire and Rescue and the International Association of Firefighters Local 4459 announce the passing of one of our beloved members, Captain Art Vazquez,” Orting Valley Fire and Rescue said on Facebook.

The post went on to say Vazquez “took his own life as a result of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).”
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PTSD Patrol filling up with hopefulness

PTSD Patrol hope on a tank full
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos

July 1, 2018

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13 New International Version (NIV)

Yesterday out at the Orlando Nam Knights, Tony "NK Jeans" Johnson wanted to know why I was so against the "awareness" raisers. The answer is a simply one. It does not give hope to those searching for it.

 When people say "it is just a number" they show they did not take enough interest to know, the known number represents people and were not just a number that is easy to remember.

We need to change the conversation into what will stop them from being stuck with an empty tank of hopelessness and fill them up with hopefulness!

I explained the difference between what is actually known and what is just assumed. The point of this effort is to change from awareness that people are committing suicide into what will help them want to live! That begins with knowledge of what PTSD is, what being a survivor is, and the power behind the simple fact that they can heal if they work at it!
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Canada faces "epidemic" of suicides among people who have PTSD

Senate passes bill to create PTSD strategy, sponsor hopes it curbs suicides
CTV News Canada
Rachel Aiello, Ottawa News Bureau Online Producer
June 14, 2018

Under the bill, Federal Health Minister Ginette Petitpas Taylor has to call a conference between her federal defence, veterans affairs, and public safety counterparts, alongside other stakeholders, within a year of the bill becoming law. Six months from then, the health minister has to report to Parliament with the official plan.

Hundreds of police patrol Parliament Hill before protest

OTTAWA – In 18 months, Canada is set to have its first federal plan to address post-traumatic stress disorder, after a private member's bill passed the Senate Thursday.

Bill C-211, sponsored by Conservative B.C. MP Todd Doherty, aims to curb what he calls an "epidemic" of suicides among people who have PTSD.

The bill requires the federal government to work alongside the provinces and territories, and members of the medical community, to create a federal framework to fully address post-traumatic stress disorder, from recognizing symptoms to treatment.

While the framework will apply generally, Doherty's inspiration for the bill was the paramedics, police officers, nurses, firefighters, military members, corrections officers, and RCMP who deal with PTSD as a result of their jobs.

"It is bittersweet. Today is a good day, but there are a lot of men and women that have lost their lives, and today we send a message that we, collectively, we are going to fight for those who fight for us," Doherty said.

He said numerous lives have been lost since his bill was first introduced, but in the last week alone, he's aware of four first responders who died by suicide.
read more here

What CDC does not know about veteran suicides

Veterans overrepresented in report, underrepresented in reporting
Combat PTSD
Kathie Costos
June 8, 2018

CNN had the report from the CDC on suicides in America and within the report, there was this,

Veterans are also "overrepresented" in the report, she said.

"Veterans made up about 18% of adult suicides but represent about 8.5% of the US adult population," Schuchat said, noting that not all veterans who died by suicide were recent veterans. Still, the researchers found a 10% higher risk of suicide among people who had served in the military.

Middle-age adults had the highest increase.

"This is a very important population right now in terms of national statistics," Schuchat said, noting the high rates of drug overdose in this group as well as "deaths of despair" described in social science literature. 

What they do not know is, large groups of veterans were not considered "veteran" on their Death Certificates. 

California did not have it on Death Certificates until they passed legislation last year. Illinois was not tracking them.

If they did not have an "honorable" discharge, they would have been counted as a suicide, but not as a veteran.

If they live outside of the US, they do not appear to have even been considered as worthy of mentioning.

Last but not least is the simple fact that the "22" everyone keeps talking about was from limited data from just 21 states! But they got away with reducing the lives of veterans down to an easy number to remember.

Gee, and they make it seem like they really care. If they did not even care enough to read the reports, how much could they have cared about the veterans they love to talk about? After all, the largest group are over the age of 50 but they ignored them too! (Yes, that was in the report too.) Oh, almost forgot that military suicides are forgotten about too and they are a reported average of 500 a year.

First Responder suicide shows when press leaves, the event does not

Death by suicide of paramedic who rushed to Quebec City mosque attack shines light on trauma risks for first-responders
The Star
By ALLAN WOODS Quebec Bureau
June 1, 2018

“They try to push through it. They go back to work and they push through it and they push through it and they push through it, until they can’t push through it anymore. That can be months or years down the line.” Dr. Jonathan Douglas

MONTREAL—In Lucie Roy’s retelling, the chain of events that led to her daughter’s suicide began with the burst of gunshots that killed six men and injured five others in a Quebec City mosque in January 2017.

Andréanne Leblanc, 31, was a paramedic who responded to the deadly Quebec City mosque shooting in January 2017. Her mother said the experience contributed to her suicide in March 2018. (FACEBOOK)

Andréanne Leblanc was on shift that Sunday night. She was one of the first paramedics to arrive at the bloody scene that greatly traumatized Canadians.

She and her work partner transported one of the victims to hospital. In the fear and confusion of that frigid winter night, as police hunted the armed and fleeing killer, they were told to prepare in case there were other victims.

Leblanc, 31, didn’t talk to her family about what she had experienced.

That seems to have been part of her nature.

Her grieving mother wants to draw attention to the mental health problems faced by her daughter and other emergency workers who work in difficult or potentially distressing conditions.
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Daughter says Paramedic Dad had no one to help him

When my father needed help, no one was there
Sydney Morning Herald
By Cidney Jenkins
27 May 2018

Many of us assume that the most traumatic part of a paramedic’s job is what they find when they respond to an emergency call. What many of us failure to consider is what happens to paramedics once they leave a scene.

For many of us, an experience requiring an ambulance is often limited to a single unfortunate event. An event that will never be repeated or forgotten. For our paramedics, this is their daily life. My father, Tony Jenkins, was one of them.

As I sat at my laptop a few weeks ago, fumbling around with words for my father’s eulogy, I was left questioning how it had come to this.

How could a man, who preached about his good fortune, his loving family and his remarkably happy life, be driven to take his own life, without warning?

How could a husband, father and friend who had never spent a day in bed leave the world that he had so openly enjoyed and loved every single day?

But the final hours of my father’s life were spent behind closed doors with incompetent and insensitive managers, whose response to my father’s plea for help was to drive him back to his station, where he was left to walk off into the street, by himself. The next morning, police and ambulance workers came to our house, to tell us they had found his body.
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Firefighter Battles Own Mind with PTSD

Retired Firefighter Battles Own Mind with PTSD
FOX 16 News
By: Mitch McCoy
Updated: May 23, 2018

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. - In a game of chess, you have to find your intellectual self to not only predict the next move but to make that one move to win.

"There's no way to come back from that," says Britton Turner.

Retired Little Rock Firefighter Britton Turner knows the mind can also play tricks.

"You have this compartment in your head that is only so big and it can only carry so much," says Turner.

Decades of service to the Capital City means saving lives going call to call. "She's screaming," recalls Britton. "It triggered something in my head."

It changed the former Captain's life forever.

"It was actually a patient's mother because she reminded me so much of my mother and what my mother would be doing if I was in the same place," says Turner.
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Iraq Veteran shows suicide issue "too big to ignore"

Tulsa veteran creates mural to discuss suicide, an issue 'too big to ignore'
Tulsa World
By Reece Ristau
13 hrs ago

“I want people to know that these real heavy emotions are (OK),” Butts said Friday morning. “You can talk to people about it. You don’t have to be scared of it. When you take off your mask and I take off my mask, it’s, ‘Oh, you’ve got stuff, too.’ We all have stuff.”

As a chaplain’s assistant during the Iraq War, Josh Butts tended to the emotional health of his battalion members, some of whom have since died by suicide.

As a graphic designer in Tulsa, Butts is now using art to bring awareness to the scope of that public health issue.

On Friday, Butts used chalk to create an elaborate mural of an airliner. The mural, called “Too Big to Ignore,” comprises phrases used by those affected by suicide and images representing the pain of such loss. Drawn on the side of the Hardesty Arts Center (AHHA) in the Tulsa Arts District, the airplane represents the 123 people who die in the United States each day by suicide.
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Save a firefighter in your own house

Superior mayor announces cause of fire battalion chief's death
Duluth News Tribune
By Lisa Kaczke
Apr 24, 2018

A Superior Fire Department battalion chief who retired just a few weeks ago died on April 18 after "a long and brave struggle" with mental illness, Mayor Jim Paine said on Tuesday.

Erik Sutton, 46, who had served on the Superior Fire Department for 20 years, took his own life, Paine said. Sutton had sought and received care prior to his death. Paine said he has offered his condolences and support to the fire department leadership and Sutton's mother.

"We have all agreed that while the price of his service was too high, none of us will allow his death to pass in vain," Paine said in a statement. "We will put his memory to work for our bravest civil servants as diligently as he put his own life to work for all of us and commit ourselves to ensuring that every firefighter and police officer in our service not only has full access to the care that they need, but that they feel the support to seek care when necessary."
read more here

But he is not the first.

Local firefighter’s widow mission to save lives, numbers show firefighter suicide rising

On October 15, 2016, fallen Indian River County Fire Chief David Dangerfield said goodbye to his wife on the phone first, and then on Facebook.

After a 27-year career, Chief Dangerfield wrote in his suicide post that it was due to PTSD on the job. He posted on Facebook:

"PTSD for Firefights is real. If your loved one is experiencing signs get them help quickly. 27 years of death and babies dying in your hands is a memory that you will never get rid off. It haunted me daily until now. My love to my crews. Be safe, take care. I love you all."

This was released last month.
81 Percent of firefighters fear they will be seen as weak

The survey also found that 81 percent of firefighters fear they will be seen as weak or unfit for duty if they talk about the emotional toll of their job, and 87 percent said it keeps them from getting the help they need.

When it comes to saving lives, you need to begin in your own house to see who is in danger at the fire station.