Is your enemy within skin?

The things I survived were bad, but what was worse, was what I did to myself afterward. The things I heard in my head, made me beat myself up more than my ex-husband did. In other words, I did more damage to me long after I got away from him than he could ever do to me. #PTSD is what comes to those who survive and won't give up until we deliver the eviction notice in the form of compassion for ourselves.

This picture is Celia, the witch I think my bad voice in my head looks like. Her smug expression is when I give into whatever horrible thing she says I am as if she won something. The thing is, she may win for a time, and the tears come, but the "win" never lasts long. I refuse to surrender to the enemy within my skin.

This is a good article on what we do to ourselves after others did it first. If you take one thing away from this, I hope you realize that you do not have to surrender yourself to your Celia and have the power within you to heal the wounds created by others as much as you can heal the self-inflicted wounds you carry. 

Silencing Our Inner Critic After Attachment Trauma

How to overcome three common inner critic messages
Psychology Today
Annie Tanasugarn Ph.D., CCTSA
Posted January 28, 2023

KEY POINTS
One of the most common after-effects of childhood attachment trauma is the development of a harsh inner critic.
At the root of self-hate and self-neglect are conditioned beliefs that one isn't good enough to be loved or cared for.
Feelings of self-hate and self-neglect can generalize to self-sabotaging behavior where trauma enactment is likely.

One of the most common after-effects of childhood attachment trauma is the development of a harsh inner critic that replaces a person’s inner voice. By nature, we are hardwired to connect with others, which teaches us how to love and respect ourselves.

However, attachment trauma from abuse, neglect, abandonment, or invalidation forces a child to adapt to punitive environments where their sense of self becomes compromised. Instead of feeling connection and safety with those in their life, they learn survival mode. Instead of learning self-love and self-advocacy from a healthy upbringing, they forgo accepting themselves in exchange for compulsively trying to become what they believe their caregivers will want.

What Is Our Inner Critic?

Anyone can develop negative feelings towards their choices or behavior, especially in vulnerable moments. However, what separates negative feelings from a cruel inner critic is a sense of worthlessness at its core message. Negative feelings based on making a poor choice relate to guilt, whereas the messages connected to an inner critic relate to shame.

Thus, negative feelings associated with guilt may include a person saying, “I made a mistake,” whereas the message received from shame may include, “I am a mistake.”
read more here

Journalists vulnerable to trauma too!

If you are a reporter, this is why the main character of the Ministers Of The Mystery series was a reporter! This job you do is one of the lesser talked about causes of #PTSD and I thought it was time to remind people that reporters are only human too! The Scribe Of Salem is the first part and the eBook is free until the end of January. I hope you find some comfort in it! 

I covered murder-suicides, and learned how journalists were vulnerable to trauma

The Conversation
Norma Hilton
Global Journalism Fellow, University of Toronto
Published: January 25, 2023

The Canadian Journalism Forum on Violence and Trauma looked at the mental health of more than 1,200 journalists in late 2021. More than two-thirds suffered from anxiety, 46 per cent reported depression, and 15 per cent said they had experienced post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) over the past four years.

It never really dawned on me how vulnerable journalists were to trauma until I took a job as an investigative reporter. I spent most of 2021 and 2022 verifying, analyzing and writing stories about murder-suicides.

Every morning, I would make myself a cup of coffee in my New York City apartment, then sit down at my desk to pore over cases of murder-suicides — a total of 1,500 a year in the United States at the time.

I was consumed by my work. I was going through every news story about a specific murder-suicide, checking the accuracy of facts like the spelling of names, ages of the perpetrators and their victims and details of where the events occurred and how the murder-suicides were carried out. "" In one case, I spent a month working out the number of children killed by their parents in various parts of the country. When relatives I hadn’t seen in four years came to visit, I spent most of their trip elsewhere, interviewing with experts on gun and domestic violence.
read more here

Celebrities and veterans are not the only ones with #PTSD

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 10, 2023

This morning my inbox was filled with news that Prince Harry, Hailey Bieber, and veterans are suffering from PTSD. (I had to look up who Hailey Bieber was. How is it that there were at least 50 alerts on her?)

What I didn't see were alerts on what happens to survivors as humans living through something that could cause PTSD. Sometimes I feel as if I am the only one trying to get reporters to pay attention to all of us, since there are more average people of all ages struggling to heal and trying to get some hope they can do it.

Sorry but, that's all I can write on this right now. It's too frustrating to deal with today.

PTSD Demons On Film

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

January 8, 2023

If you have PTSD, then you know how to spot the demon someone else is struggling to get rid of. We can all see that all-too-familiar sadness in the eyes of someone else. Once our own eyes were opened by those that came before us, we begin to notice how it has been inflicting people since the beginning of time. You may wonder, as I do, why others never understand what is right in front of them.

If you look up famous movies about PTSD, you won't find the one playing in your dreams every night or in the flashbacks that come without warning. Sadly, if you look online for a list of movies with characters struggling with it, you won't find as many as there have been because the list makers do not seem to understand that is part of the script even if not overtly so.

Most of the lists I found were the same and I picked this one from Ranker to give you an idea.

"This list answers the questions, "What are the best post-traumatic stress disorder movies?" and "What is the greatest post-traumatic stress disorder movie of all time?"

1, The Deer Hunter

2, American Sniper

3, Fearless

4, Jacobs Ladder

5, Brothers

6, Perks Of Being A Wallflower

7, Ordinary People

8, Taxi Driver

9, The War At Home

10, First Blood

11, The Edge Of Love

12, Grand Toreno

13, Jackknife

14, Red Dragon

15, The Fisher King

My eyebrows are hurting because I kept waiting to see the ones we know. They aren't there. They do not call it PTSD when they show flashbacks, nightmares, mood swings, or emotional turmoil by characters unable to leave the past in the past. Yet, once you read this list, if you come across a movie you have seen, you'll never think of the movie the same way again when you go back and watch it.

The Best Years Of Our Lives

The Robe

The Messenger

Season Of The Witch

It's A Wonderful Life

Jimmy Stewart brought his demon with him into the role after WWII.

EXCLUSIVE: How Jimmy Stewart's agony in It's a Wonderful Life came from extreme PTSD he suffered after he lost 130 of his men as a fighter pilot in WWII

Actor Jimmy Stewart was haunted by his memories from his time in the Air Force and suffered from PTSD when he returned from World War II

Stewart wrestled with the guilt of killing civilians in bomb raids over France and Germany and felt responsible for the death of his comrades

Stewart never talked about his struggles and bottled up his emotions

But they came out when acting parts he chose when he returned to Hollywood

He tapped into his emotional distress during the filming of It's a Wonderful Life, where his character George Bailey unravels in front of his family

Stewart's anguish is laid bare for the first time in Mission: Jimmy Stewart and the fight for Europe by author Robert Matzen (read more here)

I bet there are even more you may be thinking about right now. Any movie with nightmares of things that have been or flashbacks will have a reason for that being in the script. Use your inner PTSD couch critic and let other people you know see what you see, so they will be able to recognize the demons in the eyes of others. Then maybe we can all decide that there is no reason to hide the battles we fight since they are all watching these movies as entertainment.

If you are involved with church people, then read the Psalms with fresh eyes and you'll find it there too!

Kathie Costos Author of Ministers Of The Mystery The Scribe Of Salem

Heroes of January 6, 2021 honored

To see what is happening in the US Capitol today, on this the second anniversary of when our democracy was being attacked, is sickening. That is true. At the same time, what else happened this day in Washington DC is hopeful because people who risked their lives to defend what so many simply take for granted were rightfully honored.

In the process of President Biden listing all the things they went through, he mentioned how #PTSD does not just happen to veterans. Members of the police force, members of the House and Senate, and workers serving the elected are battling PTSD because of what happened that horrible day. Along with them, election workers, simply doing the duty of counting and processing the votes were honored for the price they ended up having to pay because they were lied about and targeted by those who lost.

When you have PTSD, you know that terrors do not end because they come in many different events by many different people, but they do not have to defeat us because other events and other people do things to help us heal!

Among those honored was "Capitol Police Officer Howie Liebengood, who died by suicide after serving on the front lines during the January 6 insurrection at the US Capitol" and his widow fought to have the unseen price paid as a price paid in the line of duty.

Widow of fallen Capitol Police officer wants his death classified as ‘in the line of duty’

“That’s not what this is about,” Wexton said of the loss of access to the benefits. “This is more about the principle of their understanding that PTSD and the tragedy that went along with the events of January 6 is real. And that the stigma that follows police officers around after this, and then the reluctance to seek help, is also real.” read more of this here

President Biden awards 12 Citizens Medals on Jan. 6 anniversary

Michael Fanone and veterans uge House to condemn violence

Letters delivered by veterans urge House Republicans to condemn political violence

Los Angeles Times
BY GARY FIELDS
ASSOCIATED PRESS
JAN. 4, 2023

WASHINGTON — Dozens of military veterans on Wednesday hand-delivered letters to top Republicans in the U.S. House, calling on them to publicly condemn political violence as the second anniversary of the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol approaches.

Former Washington Metropolitan Police Officer Michael Fanone leaves Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s office at the Capitol on Wednesday after delivering a letter urging the Georgia Republican to publicly condemn political violence.(Jacquelyn Martin / Associated Press)

Former Metropolitan Police Officer Michael Fanone wrote the letter, which was signed by more than 1,000 military veterans, active duty members, law enforcement officers and military families. Fanone, who was beaten and shocked with stun guns during the attack on the Capitol, delivered a copy to Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s office. While the GOP leadership remains unsettled, the groups behind the effort consider the Georgia representative one of the de facto leaders of the new Republican majority in the House.

Veterans also delivered letters to GOP Reps. James Comer of Kentucky, Jim Jordan of Ohio, Steve Scalise of Louisiana, Elise Stefanik of New York and Kevin McCarthy of Bakersfield, who is trying to become House speaker.

read more here
video from NBC

Did you ever wonder why God allowed it to happen?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 3, 2023

Whatever caused you to have #PTSD, you probably needed to find an explanation as to why it happened to you.

There was real evil in Salem in 1692. It did not live in the accused but in the accusers. They broke most of the 10 Commandments. They murdered innocent people, put another God ahead of God, blamed God by Name for what they were doing, stole, lied, and used the power of faith to corrupt others into the service of the father of lies. They turned against the faith they claimed to have and turned to the lust for power over others. The survivors were left to wonder why it happened to them after they were falsely accused, tortured, and faced death. Then, after they were released to live among their accusers, imagine how they felt. The more I know about PTSD, the more I don't have to imagine what that is like. How many times did it happen to you when you were falsely accused by people you knew because they didn't know any better? If you take nothing else away from this post, imagine how the people at the time had no other explanation for any of it, yet we do. We know that as survivors, there is a reason for the cause of our suffering, just as much as there is a reason for our healing!

 

It did not just happen in Salem.

Beyond Salem: 6 Lesser-Known Witch Trials

Lancaster Castle, where all but two accused witches were put on trials. (Credit: Dave Moorhouse/Getty Images)

Pendle: England, 1612–1634

"Required to report anyone who refused to attend the English Church or take communion, the local Justice of the Peace, Roger Nowell, was also tasked with investigating claims of witchcraft." 

People all over the world suffered because of wars, illnesses, famine, and things they could not explain. They had to find someone to blame. Some said God let it all happen. Others said the devil did. They pointed their fingers at others. 200,000 dead. They died because people lied about them and called them witches. They died because some of them were poor. They died because some of them were rich. They died because some of them did the right thing and tried to stand up for them against the false accusations, and ended up being accused too. They died because of greed, power, and hatred. They died in the name of their religion.


Did you ever wonder why God allowed it to happen? He couldn't have been pleased to see His name used to cause all that happened. While we know eventually all the trials ended, we question why they were allowed to happen at all.

Whatever caused you to have #PTSD, you probably needed to find an explanation as to why it happened to you. No matter what it was, it caused you harm and made you fear for your life. When it was over, and your life was no longer the same as it was, either you were grateful you survived, or you took the event itself as a judgment from God.

I know because I did the same thing. I think it can be worse for those who do believe in God than for those who do not. After all, if you believe in God then you know nothing is impossible for Him. So why didn't He prevent it if He didn't cause it?

That is why I wrote the Ministers Of The Mystery Series.

In The Scribe Of Salem, Chris was born and raised in Salem. He always saw the love that conquered the evil done there because people did the right thing even though they had seen others pay the price for defending the innocent people accused and tortured as witches when they too became the accused.

In chapter 2, David was trying to get Chris to seek the help of the woman that healed him five years before. Chris survived all the times he went to Afghanistan and Iraq to report on the wars. He survived a bomb blast that left him covered with scars on the right side of his body. He survived his ex-wife trying to kill him. The night before this conversation, Chris also survived the threat he was to himself as he held a gun to his own head.

“What did all that do to you?”

“You know, with the wars I covered and getting blown up didn’t do as much damage to me as she did. I had nightmares and flashbacks, mood swings off the charts and so filled with anger, I had to go to the gym just to beat up a bag.”

“How did you manage to get the divorce if she didn’t want it to end?”

“I told her I kept the knife with her fingerprints and my blood on it and I’d turn her in for attempted murder if she didn’t agree to it. Then the day of the divorce, she told me I’d never be done with her and I’d always be looking over my shoulder. The thing is, she was right. I left her in LA and came back here, and was still looking over my shoulder, having a panic attack whenever I saw a red Mustang.”

“How long did that last?”

“Strange thing is, until last night when I found out she died. It was the first good night of sleep I’d had. On the way here, there was a red Mustang on the road and it didn’t bother me at all, other than the fact I was shocked I didn’t care.”

“I think you may want to take a trip to Gabriel and see if you can talk to Mandy.”

“No, I’m not a veteran.”

“She helps anyone God sends her. Trauma doesn’t just hit veterans.”

“I don’t have any extra money and besides, I wouldn’t know how to find her.”

“If you’re supposed to find her, trust that and you will.”

Chris shook his head. “You have no idea how strange that sounds to me right now. Up until you guys walked into the bar at 7:00, I would have told you what I thought about God,” he looked down, “that He’s a vindictive son of a bitch playing around with people’s lives and making us suffer for fun. Now I don’t know what to think.”

“You suffered for seven years, so ya, I get how you would feel that way. I did too for a while. The thing is, the explosion happened at 7:00 too, so maybe this time, He’s moving things around so you open your eyes to how wrong you were. Come on Bill is still waiting for us.”

It took his friends and strangers coming into his life to open his eyes so he would see that God did not do anything to him, but tried to prevent it from happening. When He couldn't, He saved Chris.

Chris thought it would have been easier to have not loved God in the first place, so it would have made it easier to walk away from Him. He had to be able to see what God did to try to prevent what happened to him. The same thing He does for all of us, but because we all have the free will to do as we are asked, or guided to do, we are free to dismiss it. Chris dismissed it and then blamed God for letting it all happen to him.

On a personal happier note, I finished therapy today and so glad I did it when I needed it.

If you are contemplating a field in mental health, God bless you

The clock is ticking at worldometers! 8 billion people as of January 2, 2023, at 8:15 on the east coast of the United States. As for the US, "DEC. 29, 2022 — As the nation prepares to ring in the new year, the U.S. Census Bureau today projected the U.S. population will be 334,233,854 on Jan. 1, 2023."

We know that PTSD does not just happen to veterans in the US. We know that it strikes human survivors. And now we know that most of the causes are because of what other humans do. The top five causes are all about other people doing something to cause the trauma.

(Check the link and see where the information came from.)

Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Statistics: 2022 Update
CFHA

Report Highlights
6% or 3 in every 50 American adults will have gone through PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder at some point in their lives [9].
The leading cause of PTSD is sexual violence at 33%, with 94% of rape victims developing symptoms of PTSD during the first two weeks after their traumatic experience [23] [28].
PTSD is most prevalent among American adults between the ages of 45 and 49 years old at 9.2% [12].
Women have a lifetime PTSD prevalence rate of 9.7%, compared to 3.6% in men [17].
Civilian women have a lifetime prevalence rate of 8%, compared to 13.4% among military women [24].
11% to 23% of veterans have experienced PTSD within a given year [2].
About 17.2 veterans die by suicide each day, with veterans being 1.5 times more likely to die by suicide than civilians [2].
3 in 10 or 30% of the first responders have PTSD [6].
6 weeks of cognitive behavioral therapy can help ease symptom severity by about 50% in 21% to 46% of patients with PTSD [7].
People with PTSD who use cannabis for their symptoms are 2.57 times more likely to recover from this condition [3].
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention defines post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) as an intense, uncontrollable emotional and physical reaction to a reminder of a traumatic event or distressing memories [4]. This abnormal response to triggers can last for days and even years after the harrowing incident or traumatic event.

Think about what that all means to people in the US, as well as around the world. For all we know about PTSD and the results of the causes, we will never know how many people have PTSD.  There are far too many that will not be diagnosed and never enough people to be able to diagnose and treat the survivors. As long as we keep doing a lousy job of letting people know what PTSD is, why they have it, and give them hope, as well as a way to heal, we will keep seeing the suffering that does not have to happen.

Take the information you just learned and try an experiment on your own. Ask a friend or family member what they know about PTSD. If the response you get is the same one I've gotten for the last 40 years, they will say it is something veterans get. While we know that is not true, we know that they are the only group reporters want to cover. Even fewer reporters want to cover those serving today as if that makes sense to them. Why bother to report on when the events take place?

The clock is ticking around the world on the population of the planet but it is also ticking on the time lost when people survive what others do to them, but they don't have someone doing something for them.

If you are contemplating a field in mental health, God bless you because the world needs more people like you!

Kathie Costos author of Ministers Of The Mystery series

PTSD: The trauma experienced by migrants is typically two-fold

Border crisis complicated by migrant PTSD: report

NY Post
By Jesse O’Neill
January 1, 2023

A Border Protection officer leading zip-tied migrants after they were taken into custody on January 1, 2023.James Keivom

The trauma experienced by migrants is typically two-fold: they are suffering from the memories they left behind while also carrying around mental anguish from their journeys, Byimana explained.

As a surge of asylum seekers overwhelm southern border cities, “most” of the migrants are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder from their harrowing trip into the US.

The migrants’ arduous ordeals are often marred with violence, kidnappings and sexual assaults, according to Dr. Brian Elmore, who volunteers for weekend shifts at a shelter in El Paso, Texas.

“Most of our patients have symptoms of PTSD. I want to initiate a screening for every patient,” said Elmore, an emergency medicine doctor at Clinica Hope.

In many cases, the grueling hardships had been exacerbated by the pandemic emergency measure Title 42, which has been used to expel more than 2.5 million migrants from the US since March 2020, according to the Saturday report by the Associated Press.
read more here

PTSD in Minnesota's Deputy worthy of death benefit

Appeals court rules spouses of officers who die by suicide are entitled to death benefit

KSTP
Eric Chaloux
Updated: December 21, 2022

“They see things regularly that if we saw one of those things in our life time, we’d be affected by it for the rest of our lives,” Cindy Lannon said.

The Minnesota Court of Appeals found that a surviving spouse of a public safety officer who dies by suicide is “entitled to the death benefit for survivors of officers ‘killed in the line of duty’ if the officers death resulted from post-traumatic stress disorder from the job”, according to the court’s opinion.

For more than 30 years, Jerry Lannon protected and served the community, including since 1999, as a Deputy Sheriff in Washington County.

“Jerry always loved his job, he loved going to work, in the last few months of his life, it completely turned, and he was dreading going to work,” said Cindy Lannon, Deputy Lannon’s wife.

58-year-old Deputy Lannon died by suicide in November 2018.
read more here

Hope responds there is no room for that demon in your life

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 22, 2022

PTSD demon tells you that there is no hope for you.

Hope responds there is no room for that demon in your life. You have healing to do.

PTSD demon tells you that you were meant to suffer.

Hope responds that you survived because you were not meant to die.

PTSD demon tells you that you should be ashamed of the voices in your head.

Hope responds that the only voice in your head that doesn't belong there is the demon!

Think about the person or event that caused you harm, and it is still trying to destroy you. Think about the fact that you survived it, and that makes you a survivor, no longer a victim of "it" and it doesn't get to determine the rest of your life.

From The Scribe Of Salem

David Mac Donald strolled into the bar. He was tall, and muscular, with fiery red flowing hair with a scraggly beard. He looked more like an ancient Scottish warrior than he did when he was in the Army with cropped hair. David’s family moved from Scotland when he was starting high school and he joined the Army as soon as he graduated. When he walked over to the group, they all got up out of their chairs and hugged, then he saw Chris. “Oh my God! Nanos!” He walked over to him. As soon as he got a closer look at his eyes, he could see an all too familiar pain the fake smile couldn’t cover up. He gave him a bear hug and whispered in his Scottish accent, “Your demon is in control for now. Time to take back your life as we did.”

David recognized the demon in Chris, because for a long time, he one too. It was clear on the darkest night of Chris's life, the conspiracy was working.

One of the conversations Chris had later was with Ed, his bartender and, as far as Chris knew, the only friend he had for the last three years, showed the plans were starting to work.

“I know I don’t want to live like this anymore. You just gave me a gift I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay.”

“Then pay it forward to someone else you come into contact with and use your gift as a writer to help them heal too. There are millions of people in this country right now suffering instead of healing because they don’t know what to do to defeat the demons they face. You can help them with that after you heal and get stronger.”

“Do you think that’s what He wants me to do? Why me? People are gonna know what a screwup I am. What qualifies me to write about all these, saintly people doing good all over the place?”

“Because the saints in the Bible were all screw-ups too. We all are. Every single one of them messed up. People forget that part instead of seeing that if God could use people like them to make miracles happen, He could do it with anyone. You have the choice to turn to what is dark in you sent by Satan, or hang on to what is light in you from God, just like they did.”

“So you’re saying people turn to darkness by choice?”

“Yes, but mostly because they think that’s the only road they can take. They can’t pray to God for themselves at the same time they turn away from Him. That’s when other people pray for them because they can’t. Isn’t that what He just laid out in front of you?”

Isn't that what was just laid in front of you too?

Are you the scribe you need?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 20, 2022

The Scribe of Salem is about having PTSD because the people in it survived, questioned God, blamed God, and Chris, he thought God was a vindictive son-of-a-bitch playing around with the lives of people for fun. That is until he realized God was playing but was preparing.

From a few people that read The Scribe of Salem, there have been many questions. The 12 women on the beach, are the Master Ministers of the Mystery. Some think that women cannot be ministers, but the Bible clearly states that they were among those serving God with Jesus.

We know there were 12 chosen, and accepted to serve God alongside Jesus.

Peter; James; John; Andrew; Philip; Judas; Matthew; Thomas; James, Bartholomew; Judas Iscariot and Simon

But they were not the only ones sent out.

Luke 10:1 After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. 2 He told them, “The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few.

And even they were not the only ones.

Acts 1:14 These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren. 15 And in those days Peter stood up in the midst of the disciples, and said, (the number of names together were about an hundred and twenty,)

KJV

15 In those days Peter stood up among the believers (a group numbering about a hundred and twenty) 16 and said, “Brothers and sisters, the Scripture had to be fulfilled in which the Holy Spirit spoke long ago through David concerning Judas, who served as guide for those who arrested Jesus. 17 He was one of our number and shared in our ministry.”

And we know why they were brought together. There had to be 12 chosen as leaders.

24 And they prayed, and said, Thou, Lord, which knowest the hearts of all men, shew whether of these two thou hast chosen,

25 That he may take part of this ministry and apostleship, from which Judas by transgression fell, that he might go to his own place.

26 And they gave forth their lots; and the lot fell upon Matthias; and he was numbered with the eleven apostles.

We know that the gifts of the spirit were not limited to them. We also know that "sons and daughters" were to receive gifts.

Act 2:17 And it shall come to pass in the last days, saith God, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams:

What are the gifts?

1 Corinthians Now concerning spiritual gifts, brethren, I would not have you ignorant.

2 Ye know that ye were Gentiles, carried away unto these dumb idols, even as ye were led.

3 Wherefore I give you to understand, that no man speaking by the Spirit of God calleth Jesus accursed: and that no man can say that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.

4 Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.

5 And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.

6 And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.

7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal

8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;

9 To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;

10 To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:

And we know what those gifts were supposed to be used for. 

1 Corinthians 13
13 Suppose I speak in the languages of human beings or of angels. If I don’t have love, I am only a loud gong or a noisy cymbal. 2 Suppose I have the gift of prophecy. Suppose I can understand all the secret things of God and know everything about him. And suppose I have enough faith to move mountains. If I don’t have love, I am nothing at all. 3 Suppose I give everything I have to poor people. And suppose I give myself over to a difficult life so I can brag. If I don’t have love, I get nothing at all.

4 Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not want what belongs to others. It does not brag. It is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor other people. It does not look out for its own interests. It does not easily become angry. It does not keep track of other people’s wrongs. 6 Love is not happy with evil. But it is full of joy when the truth is spoken. 7 It always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It never gives up.

8 Love never fails. But prophecy will pass away. Speaking in languages that had not been known before will end. And knowledge will pass away. 9 What we know now is not complete. What we prophesy now is not perfect. 10 But when what is complete comes, the things that are not complete will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child. I thought like a child. I had the understanding of a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 Now we see only a dim likeness of things. It is as if we were seeing them in a foggy mirror. But someday we will see clearly. We will see face to face. What I know now is not complete. But someday I will know completely, just as God knows me completely. 13 The three most important things to have are faith, hope and love. But the greatest of them is love.

Chris was given an amulet by Mandy. It is a dove with wings of fire. Some accounts of the Holy Spirit are of a dove and others have it as fire. So yes, it very well could be a Christian amulet, much like the Cross I wear.

Chris begins to see Reverend George Burroughs in a painting of the Salem Witch Trials behind the bar. Why Reverend Burroughs? Listen to this podcast after all the chitchat in the beginning and get caught up in the story of this man.

Also of interest is Witch Trot Road in Maine where Burroughs was taken from Maine to Salem Village...almost a decade after he left Salem! According to New England Folklore, the connection lies in a Puritan minister named George Burroughs. He was recruited to be a minister in Salem, Massachusetts in 1680 but after a falling out with the community, Burroughs moved to Wells, Maine. Years later, the Salem Witch Trials began to send shockwaves throughout New England. Many people, including those in law enforcement at the time, believed the cause of widespread witchcraft in Salem was an afflicted minister. That minister was George Burroughs.

So, there you have scripture supporting this work, and most of it you didn't hear in church. History of people being accused of trying to take down the church when all they wanted to do was serve God as God decided they should. You have spiritual gifts being used to help people. And you see what can happen when human will replaces what God wants.

Maybe you'll see how God tried to prevent all that happened, but people would not listen. Maybe you'll see how God tried to prevent what happened to you too. At least, I hope you see that what you choose to become now, is in your hands. Listen to God's voice and let Him restore hope to your soul. Stop listening to the demon sent to destroy you. 

Sure the series is fictional but the truth is, the power to heal is in you. So, are you the scribe you need for yourself? One last thought on this post is, You are loved and you are not alone!

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

PTSD: 15 million Ukrainians now need mental-health care

No end in sight to war for overwhelmed Ukraine psychologists dealing with the mental health fallout

Toronto Star
By Katharine Lake Berz Special to the Star
Dec. 17, 2022

Beyond dealing with the physical horrors, a mixture of panic attacks, insomnia, flashbacks, anxiety and depression affect majority of patients doctors see suffering from PTSD

IVANO-FRANKIVSK, Ukraine — Susanna Anhelova’s heart aches as she looks out at the 70 somber souls waiting to start the support program for women she is leading in western Ukraine. Anhelova has worked for 25 years with victims of trauma but says this is the hardest work she has ever faced.

One of the women in the room, barely past her teens, stares despondently at her phone. Another bows her head as her child whines. All are looking to Anhelova to help them recover. All have survived unimaginable abuse and torture as Russian prisoners of war.

Anhelova prays the electricity will stay on long enough for her to offer words of comfort and tries not to think of her own children near the shelling at their home in Kyiv.

“I must help these women learn to live again, so we can win this war,” she says.

The war in Ukraine has brought pain and hardship to millions of civilians since Russia invaded on Feb. 24. The European Union estimates that 20,000 Ukrainian civilians have been killed, with many more injured and millions left homeless. An estimated 15 million Ukrainians now need mental-health care, according to the Ukraine ministry of health.

“The devastation of the war is like the rings of a stone thrown in the water,” she says. “Larger and larger circles ripple forever.”

When Anhelova’s waves of memories threaten to overwhelm her, she reminds herself that her work is important.

“This is my front line, my struggle. This is what I can do for our victory.”
read more here

A decade after Sandy Hook, grief remains but hope grows

Raised with trauma, Sandy Hook survivors send hope to Uvalde “I think what happened changed my entire life.”

Associated Press
By DAVE COLLINS and PAT EATON-ROBB
September 7, 2022

NEWTOWN, Conn. (AP) — The survivors who were able to walk out of Sandy Hook Elementary School nearly a decade ago want to share a message of hope with the children of Uvalde, Texas: You will learn how to live with your trauma, pain and grief. And it will get better.

They know what’s ahead. There’s shock, followed by numbness. There are struggles with post-traumatic stress disorder. Anxiety. Survivor’s guilt. Anger that these shootings continue to happen in America. Reliving their trauma every time there’s another mass shooting.

They know it will be hard to say they are from Uvalde. That well-meaning adults will sometimes make the wrong decisions to protect you. That grief can be unpredictable, and different for everyone.

Children who survived the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting have grown up reliving their trauma with each new mass shooting in the U.S. Emotions well up especially when the shooting involves another elementary school like in Uvalde, Texas. (Sept. 7) (AP Video: Joseph B. Frederick, Julia Nikhinson)

read more here

But it wasn't just what happened at Sandy Hook that day. It was what came afterward that added to the agony.

Alex Jones trial: Sandy Hook parents have PTSD, live in terror, psychiatrist testifies

Austin American Statesman
Chuck Lindell
August 1, 2022

Criticized by conspiracy theorist Alex Jones and confronted by some of his followers, the parents of 6-year-old Sandy Hook victim Jesse Lewis have developed post-traumatic stress disorder and live in constant anxiety and terror, a psychiatrist testified Monday.

Forensic psychiatrist Roy Lubit, a specialist in emotional trauma, said the parents' troubles were not caused by their son's violent death in the 2012 school shooting but by Jones' repeated portrayals of the attack as staged or faked on his InfoWars program.

"It's more than just interfering with healing, it has pushed them back ... into some of their earlier pain," Lubit said in a downtown Austin courtroom.

Later this week, a jury will be asked to determine how much Jones should pay to Jesse's parents, Scarlett Lewis and Neil Heslin, for defamation and emotional distress after repeatedly portraying the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, which killed 20 students and six educators, as a hoax meant to justify a government crackdown on gun rights,

Heslin has had bullets fired at his home and car, and people who deny that the Sandy Hook attack took place have made threatening phone calls and sent harassing emails to both parents, Lubit testified.
read more here

But they will not let that defeat the hope that they will heal enough to make a difference in this world to others. That as they still grieve, they do something to make sure others do not grieve alone.

A decade after Sandy Hook, grief remains but hope grows

Associated Press
By DAVE COLLINS
December 13, 2022

NEWTOWN, Conn. (AP) — They would have been 16 or 17 this year. High school juniors.

The children killed at the Sandy Hook Elementary School on Dec. 14, 2012 should have spent this year thinking about college, taking their SATs and getting their driver’s licenses. Maybe attending their first prom.

Instead, the families of the 20 students and six educators slain in the mass shooting will mark a decade without them Wednesday.

December is a difficult month for many in Newtown, the Connecticut suburb where holiday season joy is tempered by heartbreak around the anniversary of the nation’s worst grade school shooting.

For former Sandy Hook students who survived the massacre, guilt and anxiety can intensify. For the parents, it can mean renewed grief, even as they continue to fight on their lost children’s behalf.

In February, Sandy Hook families reached a $73 million settlement with the gunmaker Remington, which made the shooter’s rifle. Juries in Connecticut and Texas ordered the conspiracy theorist Alex Jones to pay $1.4 billion for promoting lies that the massacre was a hoax.
read more here

PTSD in Salem "It’s hard to make that diagnosis 300 years in the past."

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 12, 2022

If you listen to people talking about PTSD, you'll often hear the word "demon" used. It is almost as if the person has been invaded by something evil and what is good within them is battling it on a daily basis.

an evil spirit or devil, especially one thought to possess a person or act as a tormentor in hell.
a cruel, evil, or destructive person or thing.
reckless mischief; devilry.
a forceful, fierce, or skillful performer of a specified activity. (Oxford)

Since trauma has existed since the beginning of time, while the term PTSD is relatively new, what survivors dealt with afterward, is far from new. Considering what the people survived in the time of witchcraft trials, here, as well as in other parts of the world, it is easier to understand how they would not be able to grasp psychological reasoning, and jumped straight into possession and Satan,

A Storm of Witchcraft: The Salem Trials and the American Experience (Pivotal Moments in American History)

Historians have speculated on a web of possible causes for the witchcraft that stated in Salem and spread across the region-religious crisis, ergot poisoning, an encephalitis outbreak, frontier war hysteria--but most agree that there was no single factor. Rather, as Emerson Baker illustrates in this seminal new work, Salem was "a perfect storm": a unique convergence of conditions and events that produced something extraordinary throughout New England in 1692 and the following years, and which has haunted us ever since.

 

The theory that may explain what was tormenting the afflicted in Salem’s witch trials
Boston.com

Baker says it’s possible that a few of the accusers were purposefully faking their symptoms. However, he says that his ultimate conclusion after years of studying the events is that they were actually suffering from psychological ailments.

Foremost among them is something called mass conversion disorder, a psychogenic disorder that — ironically — made a suspected return to the Salem area more than 300 years later.

“People are in such mental anguish, for a variety of reasons, that literally their minds convert their anxieties to physical symptoms,” Baker told Boston.com.

“They’re not faking it,” he said. “They don’t know what’s going on. If it happens to people, they’re terrified that it’s even happening.”

From there, the “step from affliction to accusation was a short one,” Baker writes in his book about the trials, A Storm of Witchcraft. While societal scapegoats have evolved over time, he writes that “in 1692 the omnipresent threat was witchcraft.” And those identified in Salem were either marginalized members of the community or enemies of the powerful families leading the witch hunt.

Baker acknowledged that the conversion disorder — a term introduced by Sigmund Freud and otherwise known as mass hysteria — is “still kind of a controversial diagnosis today.”

“It’s hard to make that diagnosis 300 years in the past without the person right in front of you,” he said, adding that it’s possible that a combination of psychological elements played into the girls’ odd behavior.

When you think about what life was like back then, it is easy to think that the Puritans would have little knowledge of what trauma did to them, or what they were doing to others.

PTSD in the Massachusetts Bay Colony
Historic Ipswich
by Gordon Harris

From the founding of the colony, the Puritans were highly selective of who they allowed to live with them. In the first year of its settlement, the Freemen of the Ipswich established “for our own peace and comfort” the exclusive right to determine the privileges of citizenship in the new community, and gave formal notice that “no stranger coming among us” could have place or standing without their permission. Beginning in 1656, laws forbade any captain to land Quakers, and any individual of that sect was to be severely whipped on his or her entrance, and none were allowed to speak with them. Newcomers who were unable to support themselves and their families were “warned out.”

Think about what the survivors were dealing with.

In Salem Village in February 1692, two prepubescent girls Betty Parris (age nine) and her cousin Abigail Williams (age 11) began to have fits, complained of being pricked with pins and accused their neighbors of witchcraft. Some of the afflicted girls had been traumatized after losing one or both parents in King William’s War. The afflicted girls routinely described the Devil as a “dark man.”George Burroughs, the unpopular predecessor to Rev. Parris in Salem Village, had come from Maine, and returned there when the parish refused to pay him. Only five weeks before the accusations began, Indians had burned York Maine, 80 miles north of Salem, killing 48 people and taking 73 captives. When one of the accused confessed that the Devil had tempted her in Maine, Reverend Burroughs was arrested, charged with witchcraft and encouraging the Indians, and was hanged on Gallows Hill.

Think about what Reverend Burroughs went through. The arrest warrant was issued ten years after he left Salem Village and was in Maine. He lost everything, including his first wife, whom he couldn't afford to bury and had to borrow money. The villagers refused to pay his salary and he had to leave for the sake of his family. The hatred from the people of Salem Village was so powerful, they were out to get him no matter how long it took to do it.

The Witchcraft Trial of Reverend George Burroughs
History of Massachusetts
Burroughs encountered the same problems as his predecessor as well as hostility from Bayley’s friends and supporters, according to the book Salem Witchcraft by Charles W. Upham:

“Immediately upon calling to the village to reside, he encountered the hostility of those persons who, as the special friends of Mr. Bayley, allowed their prejudices to be concentrated upon his innocent successor. The unhappy animosities arising from this source entirely demoralized the Society, and, besides making it otherwise very uncomfortable to a minister, led to a neglect and derangement of all financial affairs. In September, 1681, Mr. Burrough’s wife died, and he had to run in debt for her funeral expenses. Rates were not collected, and his salary was in arrears.”

By now I hope you see that PTSD is not new. People accused others because they did not know what was causing everything they were dealing with.  Over the years, I've learned that those who claim PTSD is not real, have never survived something, or are under some delusion that they may also have it. I remember one veteran many years ago, attacking me for posting on PTSD and claiming that it was not real. It took him a while before I received an email apologizing and he admitted he had it but fought for years to bury what it was doing to him, instead of trying to recover and heal.

We cannot do anything to educate those who do not want to learn. We cannot do anything more than learn what we can so we can be happier in our own lives and then reach out to others fighting their own demons.

We live in a time when we know there are psychological as well as spiritual aspects to what makes us, us. No human is designed to endure trauma over and over again without paying some kind of price. We also know that the price does not have to take over our lives. It does not have to destroy us after we survived what caused it. We are survivors! Say that to yourself over and over again until you finally realize that and then, be empowered to heal so you can rejoice as one. 

Kathie Costos author of Ministers Of The Mystery Series.

Wake Up Call For Reporters With PTSD

They report on what causes PTSD in the rest of us. For us, all it takes to set off PTSD is the "one" time that was too many. Sometimes, that one time comes with the only time we survived. There is a growing number of reporters experiencing their "one too many" times and it is easy for us to understand that what they go through over and over again, can have a lasting impact. Stephanie Foo, Marcella Raymond, Colin Butler, Chris Cramer, and David Morris are just some joining the club no one wants to belong to.

I've talked to several reporters over the years and a few shared what they were going through. Now, they are not just reporting on the events that cause PTSD in the rest of us. They are talking about their own.

Alarming levels of stress among journalists a 'wake-up call'

Workers who keep Canadians up to date on the latest news of the day are suffering disturbingly high levels of work-related stress and injury.

Nearly seven in 10 (69 percent) of journalists and media workers are suffering from anxiety and 46 percent go through depression, according to the “Taking Care: a report on mental health, well-being, and trauma among Canadian media workers” report.

Another 15 percent have post-traumatic stress disorder, according to the report based on the survey of 1,251 news executives, desk editors, frontline reporters, and video journalists.

The Madness by Fergal Keane review – the BBC correspondent on conflict, fear, and PTSD
The Guardian
Emma Graham-Harrison
17 Nov 2022

For Keane, many of these memories are of Rwanda. Going to testify at the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda, which he saw as a moral duty, triggered another breakdown: “I dreamed vividly of the dead, horrible images that caused me to wake sweating, sometimes fighting in my sleep with arms flailing, knocking over my bedside lamp. I had experienced such symptoms immediately after the genocide but now they were accompanied by crippling anxiety. Panic attacks kept me in bed for days.”

Fergal Keane at the Ukrainian army frontline at Peski in Donbas, 2016. Photograph: Unknown/BBC/Fergal Keane A brutally honest exploration of the ethics and motivations of war reporters, and of Keane’s own demons

Journalists are unpopular, as a profession, but war correspondents get a rare pass. In films, books and the wider culture there is a dark glamour, a reckless heroism that attaches to people (mostly men) who head with laptop and camera towards battles that other civilians are fleeing.

Fergal Keane, one of the most celebrated faces of BBC news, embodied that myth. His new book The Madness, part memoir, part meditation, picks it apart. He explores with brutal honesty why he and many colleagues travel to conflict zones in the first place (it is different, of course, for journalists who have war break out on their doorstep), and keep going back when their mental health is fraying.

“Nobody forced me” begins his account of multiple journeys to see first hand the cruel things humans do to each other, from missile strikes to terror attacks and genocide by machete and club. He knew he was risking his mind amid the violence, as well as his life, but couldn’t stay away. That mixture of fear, vanity, inadequacy, driving ambition: this is as familiar to anyone who has spent time with a press pack in a war or at its margins as explosions, checkpoints and guns.

read more here

NYC Paramedic "I’ve Never Witnessed a Mental Health Crisis Like This One"

I’m an N.Y.C. Paramedic. I’ve Never Witnessed a Mental Health Crisis Like This One

New York Times
By Anthony Almojera
December 7, 2022

I’ve gone down the road of despair myself. The spring and fall of 2020 left me so empty, exhausted and sleepless that I thought about suicide, too. Our ambulances are simply the entrance to a broken pipeline. We have burned down the house of mental health in this city, and the people you see on the street are the survivors who staggered from the ashes.

Mr. Almojera is a lieutenant paramedic with the New York City Fire Department Bureau of Emergency Medical Services and the author of “Riding the Lightning: A Year in the Life of a New York City Paramedic.”

There are New Yorkers who rant on street corners and slump on sidewalks beside overloaded pushcarts. They can be friendly or angry or distrustful. To me and my colleagues, they’re patients.

I’m a lieutenant paramedic with the Fire Department’s Bureau of Emergency Medical Services, and it’s rare to go a day without a call to help a mentally ill New Yorker. Medical responders are often their first, or only, point of contact with the chain of health professionals who should be treating them. We know their names and their routines, their delusions, even their birthdays.

It is a sad, scattered community. And it has mushroomed. In nearly 20 years as a medical responder, I’ve never witnessed a mental health crisis like the one New York is currently experiencing. During the last week of November, 911 dispatchers received on average 425 calls a day for “emotionally disturbed persons,” or E.D.P.s. Even in the decade before the pandemic, those calls had almost doubled. E.D.P.s are people who have fallen through the cracks of a chronically underfunded mental health system, a house of cards built on sand that the Covid pandemic crushed.
read more here

What helped you heal?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 8, 2022 

Every day is hard for people with #PTSD. This time of year is usually harder. If you've healed, you remember what it was like to see people "celebrating" when you had a hard time just getting out of bed. It's hard to think of anything beyond living day to day as hope slips away that the next day will be any better. So what happened to you? What helped you heal? Was it a friend helping you find your way? Was it a family member taking the time to listen to you? Was it a stranger there to help you when you finally reached the point when you decided to seek help? Was it something someone wrote, or a video they put up to help you understand you weren't alone?

Being part of a miracle happening is saying "yes" to God. Standing in the way of it is saying "yes" to the darkness the miracle was supposed to defeat. It is that simple.

Christmas is coming and we're supposed to be celebrating the birth of Jesus. Set aside the debate as to when He was actually born and how all the celebrating we do was tied to the winter solstice. I focus on the life He lived, what He achieved, and the simple fact that He was not forced to do it. He had the chance to refuse to do what He was sent to do.

Mary had the chance to refuse to become His mother.  Joseph had the chance to refuse to take her as his wife and protect the mother and son. Mary and Joseph could have refused to travel to Egypt to save His life.

When He was grown and went to John the Baptist to be baptized, John had the choice to not believe what his soul was telling him about the man standing in front of him.

When Jesus was fasting for 40 days, He had the choice to allow Satan to corrupt Him.

When He returned to the villages, He asked fishermen to help Him. Each one of them could have refused to do it. The people they asked for help could have refused to help them, as well as refused to listen to what He had to say.

Imagine what would have happened if none of what happened, was able to happen because people said no to becoming part of a miracle.

How many times have you had the chance to be part of a miracle but refused to do it? 

How many times have you received a miracle but refused to acknowledge it?

If you live your life only caring about yourself, then you are saying "no" to God. If you live your life doing something for someone else, you are saying "yes" to God. Which way do you think will make you happier?

This Christmas, instead of debating what December 25th means, think about what His life was supposed to mean and do something for someone else. It doesn't have to cost you a dime but may cost you a little time you spend listening to someone, praying for them, or even giving someone clearly having a bad day a smile.

Witchcraft trials, Charles Dickens and PTSD?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 6, 2022

What do the Salem Witchcraft Trials have to do with PTSD? Oddly enough, a lot! When you consider the people at the time who thought they were fighting against evil, they must have also thought the people doing the accusing were on the side of what was good. They had no clue that those making the false accusations had other motives for doing so. Call me Polly Anna but, I have to believe there were good people who got caught up in the conspiracy must have been sick to their stomachs they believed the lies, and innocent people died.

Consider how long it took them to come to their senses and then try to give some justice to those they attacked.

Salem Witch Museum

This is when Wilmont Redd was hung,

On Thursday, September 22, 1692, Wilmot Redd was brought to the execution site at Proctor’s Ledge in Salem, along with Mary Easty, Martha Corey, Ann Pudeator, Margaret Scott, Alice Parker, Mary Parker, and Samuel Wardwell.

And this is when people tried to clear her name along with others.

In September of 1710, a committee was sent to Salem to look into how to make restitution to the victims of the trials after a number of the surviving accused had filed petitions with the court asking that their names be cleared. For reasons unknown, none of Wilmot Redd’s relatives filed a petition with the committee.

And this is when it finally happened.

On October 31, 2001, the Massachusetts legislature amended the 1957 bill and officially exonerated five victims not named in either the 1711 bill or in the 1957 bill: Wilmot Redd, Bridget Bishop, Alice Parker, Susannah Martin, and Margaret Scott.

On the 300th anniversary of the Salem Witch Trials in 1992, the Salem Witch Trials Memorial was built in Salem, Mass and a marker was established for Wilmot Redd.

In 1998, the town of Marblehead placed a cenotaph for Wilmot Redd next to her husband’s grave at Old Burial Hill.

After the site of the Salem Witch Trials, executions was discovered in 2016, the Proctor’s Ledge Memorial was built there the following year and a marker was established for Wilmot Redd.

People with PTSD were falsely accused too when no one knew what it was.

It is thought that many of the accusers during the witchcraft trials suffered from PTSD after they survived attacks from Native Americans.

Then, by the Civil War, the lingering ailments were finally seriously researched. This is from the National Center For PTSD.

Early Attempts at a Medical Diagnosis Accounts of psychological symptoms following military trauma date back to ancient times. The American Civil War (1861-1865) and the Franco-Prussian War (1870-1871) mark the start of formal medical attempts to address the problems of military Veterans exposed to combat. European descriptions of the psychological impact of railroad accidents also added to early understanding of trauma-related conditions.

Nostalgia, Soldier's Heart, and Railway Spine

Prior to U.S. military efforts, Austrian physician Josef Leopold (1761) wrote about "nostalgia" among soldiers. Among those who were exposed to military trauma, some reported missing home, feeling sad, sleep problems, and anxiety. This description of PTSD-like symptoms was a model of psychological injury that existed into the Civil War.

A second model of this condition suggested a physical injury as the cause of symptoms. "Soldier's heart" or "irritable heart" was marked by a rapid pulse, anxiety, and trouble breathing. U.S. doctor Jacob Mendez Da Costa studied Civil War soldiers with these "cardiac" symptoms and described it as overstimulation of the heart's nervous system, or "Da Costa's Syndrome." Soldiers were often returned to battle after receiving drugs to control symptoms.

And this, they also knew about non-veterans.

The thought that physical injury led to PTSD-like symptoms was supported by European reports of "railway spine." As rail travel became more common, so did railway accidents. Injured passengers who died had autopsies that suggested injury to the central nervous system. Of note, Charles Dickens was involved in a rail accident in 1865 and wrote about symptoms of sleeplessness and anxiety as a result of the trauma.

You can read more about Charles Dickens here. When you think about everything Dickens wrote, it isn't hard to see some of yourself in the characters created by parts of his own inner struggles. Now, imagine being around him and what he must have been acting like. It would have been very easy to make assumptions about him because no one had a clue back then.

Now, we know better, or, at least, are supposed to know better. The fact the general public has no clue what it is like is not so much a reflection of ambivalence, but more, due to the fact reporters won't look beyond what they see at the moment they see it. Events centered around veterans with PTSD bombard them and they go to cover those events. They remain blind to the fact most of the people involved in the events they cover otherwise, do not always "move on" from the story they focus on just long enough to write the article.

I asked a few reporters over the years why they don't cover what happens to the rest of us and they said no one is interested in it. Feeble excuse but it is what it is. It makes me think back to the witchcraft trials and how good people didn't give up on getting some sort of justice. We shouldn't either.

For us, be aware that while you know what PTSD is, too many do not. Try to open their eyes so they see what struggles they have are not new. After researching this article, I'm going to watch A Christmas Carol in a totally different way, because I never made that connection before.

This is the version I like best.

The pandemic turned the Golden Oldies years into the Golden Lonelies!

The pandemic turned the Golden Oldies years into the Golden Lonelies! The article on Spectrum news about seniors being hit by loneliness because of the pandemic hit me hard. For me, it was moving into a new state 4 months before the pandemic shut everything down. The new state was hard enough for an extrovert like me. I was planning on solving that problem by getting a part-time job since I was close to retirement age. Most of the friends I made over the years were with coworkers. The pandemic killed that idea. My husband and I are both high-risk, so, I decided to just wait it out and take early retirement.

Three years later, I haven't made any new friends. I thank God we have friends living not too far away that we've had for decades and our daughter is up here too, or I'd go completely insane. (Confession, I'm close enough to it now.)

During all this, I realized that some of the people I called "friends" turned out to be not interested in anything more than what politically motivated them. They refused to wear a mask or understand what COVID was doing to people. They refused to get vaccinated. Why? Because their political leaders were saying it was all a hoax. 

They were supposed to be "Christian" but apparently, anything that Jesus preached they should do, didn't matter anymore. Lying and hating was Okie Dokie with them. They turned against people they pretended to care about, leaving people like me, not just dealing with the pandemic, but dealing with the loss of trust in everyone.

I still wear a mask shopping because when too many people were not wearing them when there was a mask mandate, now I wonder what kind of germs they're running around with and not bothering to even cover their sneeze or mouth when they cough. Plus, I went for a checkup yesterday and they are still under mask mandates. 

I think all of this, caused me to see people in a way I don't like. I mean, not everyone is evil, selfish, despicable, or reprehensible, but there are a lot more than I ever thought there were. 

Now that my therapist got me passed grieving for the loss of my friend to COVID, we're working on getting me to want to be around people again. That will be great because it turns out, there are a lot more seniors like me not out there but are wanting to be. 

The thing that cracked me up a bit about the article was the woman they interviewed said she filled up her days with reading. I filled them up with writing books. If you have PTSD, there are lessons in this article for you too because part of PTSD is isolation. It's easy to lose trust in others when you have it and hard to gain it back but if you don't try, it will never come back to you. Your therapist can help with that. Last night we went out for dinner and I got to hug some people again!

Aging in Upstate: Film addresses isolation and loneliness in New York before pandemic hit

Spectrum
By Mark Goshgarian
Nov. 28, 2022

JAMESTOWN, N.Y. — "Reading. I did read," said Louise Wiggers, 77, of Findley Lake in Chautauqua County.

That's how she dealt with the isolation she felt during the pandemic. She even missed out on seeing her twin grandchildren in person for a year and a half.

"It was very difficult. And they changed a lot during that time, absolutely, they did. Yeah, it was hard. it was very, very difficult," said Louise.

Isolated, but not lonely, she lives with her husband of 55 years, Kent.

"So, we weren't seeing anyone, really. Even our neighbors because of our age and our being at risk," said Louise.

The two spent hours watching their favorite TV shows and movies on BritBox, not knowing day to day just how long they would have to stay cooped up.

"It was frustrating. And you know, I think I would say I was a little bit angry about all of that, too," said Louise.

Chautauqua County Office for the Aging recently hosted a screening at the Robert H. Jackson Center in Jamestown of the documentary "All the Lonely People," which chronicles a cross-section of adults sharing their experiences living in isolation.
read more here