How is your spiritual health with PTSD

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
February 9, 2025

Some things are too ridiculous to respond to. Others are too dangerous to ignore.

Today's topic is religion vs. spirituality. If you think what is happening today is unique, it is a good time to remind you of another time. After all, religion was used as a weapon against anyone who did not "believe" the same as those in power. It has been used to control the people. It has been used and abused throughout history. The word itself has often been defined differently.

Britannica definition of religion

religion, human beings’ relation to that which they regard as holy, sacred, absolute, spiritual, divine, or worthy of especial reverence.

If you noticed the word "especial," you may have considered it a typo. But it isn't.

directed toward a particular individual, group, or end
sent especial greetings to his son
took especial care to speak clearly
of special note or importance : unusually great or significant
a decision of especial relevance.

Oxford defines religion as

a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices

Merriam-Webster's definition of religion

a personal set or institutionalized system of religious attitudes, beliefs, and practices
the service and worship of God or the supernatural
commitment or devotion to religious faith or observance
the state of a religious
a nun in her 20th year of religion
a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith

Oxford defines religion as

the belief in and worship of a superhuman power or powers, especially a God or gods.
a particular system of faith and worship.
plural noun: religions
"the world's great religions"
a pursuit or interest to which someone ascribes supreme importance.

There are many different religions worldwide.

According to Learn Religions, there are over 4,000 different religions worldwide, and 85% of the population belongs to them.

The English word “religion” originates from the Latin term religio, which has a variety of definitions, including “to bind” and “awe or fear of a god or spirit.” Most, but not all, religions include belief in and worship of God, a god, gods, or spirits. Nearly all acknowledge a supernatural realm.

Nearly all acknowledge that a supernatural realm is far different from the "religion" they claim as their own. Being "religious" demands we submit to the rules of the group we choose to belong to. Being spiritual allows us to make choices based on our spirits, which are in direct contact with God, our creator, or our higher power.

Pew has a great article on spiritual people, with most adults in the United States considering themselves spiritual.

In recent decades, Americans have become less likely to identify with an organized religion. Yet a new Pew Research Center survey shows that belief in spirits or a spiritual realm beyond this world is widespread, even among those who don’t consider themselves religious. The survey finds that:
83% of all U.S. adults believe people have a soul or spirit in addition to their physical body.
81% say there is something spiritual beyond the natural world, even if we cannot see it.
74% say there are some things that science cannot possibly explain.
45% say they have had a sudden feeling of connection with something from beyond this world.
38% say they have had a strong feeling that someone who has passed away was communicating with them from beyond this world.
30% say they have personally encountered a spirit or unseen spiritual force.

Overall, 70% of U.S. adults can be considered “spiritual” in some way, because they think of themselves as spiritual people or say spirituality is very important in their lives.

As for church attendance, Gallop took a look at that last year.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As Americans observe Ramadan and prepare to celebrate Easter and Passover, the percentage of adults who report regularly attending religious services remains low. Three in 10 Americans say they attend religious services every week (21%) or almost every week (9%), while 11% report attending about once a month and 56% seldom (25%) or never (31%) attend.

Whichever one you choose to be, religion divides us, yet spirituality unifies us with others.

What Is Spirituality? on Taking Charge of Your Emotional Wellbeing has the following.

Experts’ definitions of spirituality

Christina Puchalski, MD, Director of the George Washington Institute for Spirituality and Health, contends that "spirituality is the aspect of humanity that refers to the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose and the way they experience their connectedness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, and to the significant or sacred."

According to Mario Beauregard and Denyse O’Leary, researchers and authors of The Spiritual Brain, “spirituality means any experience that is thought to bring the experiencer into contact with the divine (in other words, not just any experience that feels meaningful).”

Nurses Ruth Beckmann Murray and Judith Proctor Zenter write that “the spiritual dimension tries to be in harmony with the universe, and strives for answers about the infinite, and comes into focus when the person faces emotional stress, physical illness, or death.”

Spirituality is about us, all of us. It is not about "us" against "them." It is about contributing to others and not attempting to control them. It is not what the Puritans did in Salem Village (currently called Danvers) and Salem Town. It is not about false accusations spreading throughout Massachusetts. It is not about what they did to the twenty innocent people they murdered or those they tortured. It is not about any of the atrocities committed by those using their religion to accomplish such evil acts.

When the accusations started, maybe people thought the claims were too ridiculous to respond to. Most of us would have seen them for what they were. When they ignored what was happening, it became too dangerous to ignore. But it was too late. The accusers and judges attacked anyone challenging them.

The Devil was active in Massachusetts, but he was in control over the lying accusers and judges pushing to spread terror while using their religion to blame it on.

Imagine how many ended up with what we call #PTSD from all of that. Imagine how many could no longer enter the church doors after being subjected to what was allowed.

Even today, there are many of us no longer feel we belong to "religions" even though we believe in God, and most of us believe Jesus was/is the Son Of God. When you have PTSD, addressing your spiritual needs is just as important as seeking help for your mental and physical health.

The great news is that you don't need an appointment to receive spiritual help, and you don't need exercise equipment or a gym membership. You can do it whenever and wherever you want. There are no rules. There are no limits. All you have to do is pray or meditate on what you believe and grow it. No other person has control over your choice. There are no rules set down by elders or authorities. Best of all, no one will judge you other than yourself.

No matter what caused PTSD to invade your spirit, seek the ability to heal according to what you need, not what someone you know needs. There is nothing wrong with joining the religious group you want or not belonging to any of them. You have the power to choose as much as you have the power to heal. 

Michael Fanone, the modern day John Willard

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 22, 2025

Michael Fanone could be the modern-day John Willard.

Would the victims of the Salem Witch Trials have carried what we now call #PTSD? Absolutely! We know this because of what happened to Dorothy Good, who was forced to not only confess to witchcraft but accuse her mother, Sarah, of being a witch. She was only four when it happened and left the dungeon condemned to suffer for what was done to her.

There are modern-day victims of horrors who will never be the same. Never to be able to trust others in their own communities. Michael Fanone is one of them. What Mike Fanone Can’t Forget from TIME on August 5, 2021, tells his story.

Fanone—40, nearly broke, living with his mother, seeing ghosts, unable to return to duty in the only job he’d ever loved, possibly forever—had seen the footage a hundred times. But this was the first time he’d viewed it with other people, watched them witness what he lived through, see it through his eyes, feel his aggression, his valor, his abject terror. He sat there crying for a good 20 minutes. At some point he looked up and realized he was surrounded: everyone in the bar had come inside from the patio and gathered around him, watching the footage on the screen.

The months since Jan. 6 had not been easy for Fanone. Still recuperating from life-threatening injuries and posttraumatic stress disorder, he’d found himself increasingly isolated. Republicans didn’t want him to exist, and Democrats weren’t in the mood for hero cops. Even many of his colleagues didn’t see why he couldn’t just get over it. That very day, a GOP Congressman had testified that what had happened was more like a “tourist visit” than an “insurrection.” But no one could see this footage, Fanone thought, and deny what really happened that day. History would be forced to record it.

Michael Fanone files for protective orders against those who assaulted him on Jan. 6 NBC News

Michael Fanone, who was one of the law enforcement officers that responded to the Capitol riot on January 6, 2021, has filed for protective orders against five individuals who assaulted him that day. President Trump issued pardons for federal criminal defendants involved in the attack who are now being released.

Fact: The Capital was attacked on January 6 by citizens and defended by officers risking their lives to save those inside the building. In the process, many officers were injured. They were vilified by some and hailed as heroes by others.

Evidence has shown that the reason for the attack was based on lies that the 2020 election was "stolen." The evidence used to put the attackers on trial was based on video footage and confessions. 1,500 were convicted and recently released after receiving pardons.

The threats against people who speak out for justice for the officers risking their lives to defend the Capital have already begun. One of them is Michael Fanone.

Listening to Michael Fanone speak about seeking protective orders from individuals threatening him and his family, it became impossible to avoid finding parallels to what happened in 1692 to John Willard and his family, along with many others of like mind who found the courage to speak out. In Massachusetts, there were no cameras to record evidence. There were no laws at the time to prevent what was happening to innocent people. The only thing necessary to subject innocent people to the horrors of the Witchcraft Trials were accusations.

In 1692, John Willard was a Deputy Constable for Salem Village, responsible for serving warrants and transporting people, including those accused of witchcraft, to jail. Later testimony during his trial claimed he was heard to say, “Hang them! They are all witches!” According to historian Charles Upham in his 1867 work Salem Witchcraft, however, Willard refused to arrest any more people by the spring of 1692, after spending time with both accusers and accused. Said Upham, “All he heard and saw, his sympathies became excited on their behalf: and he expressed, in more or less unguarded terms, his disapprobation of the proceedings. He seems to have considered all hands concerned in the business—accusers, accused, magistrates, and people— as alike bewitched.”

He was right. The accusers and judges must have been bewitched, but not by non-existent witches. There were other forces behind their bewitchment: power and greed. In today's terms, we would have suggested that Satan had the accused by the balls. John Willard was just one more example of what would happen to anyone trying to stop the torment, torture, and murders. He refused to arrest more people, seeing the injustice committed by the townsfolk.

When John Willard was examined, the magistrates made it clear they believed the fact that he’d fled arrest was a sign of guilt. Said Willard, “… I was affrighted and I thought by my withdrawing it might be better, I fear not but the Lord in his due time will make me white as snow.” The afflicted in attendance, among them Ann Putnam Jr., Mercy Lewis, and Mary Warren, fell into fits at Willard’s gaze. But it was the accusations leveled against him by his wife’s family that carried the most weight. “In 1692, the Wilkins family turned with particular ferocity against this outsider…,” said Boyer and Nissenbaum. “The finger of witchcraft was pointed at him by no fewer than ten members of the family.” Not only was he blamed for the death of Daniel Wilkins and the illness of Bray Wilkins, but he was accused of spousal abuse by family and neighbors. “For all his natural affections he abused his wife much and broke sticks about her in beating of her,” said his brother-in-law, Benjamin Wilkins.

John wanted his wife Margaret to be called to testify as to the charges he beat her. She wasn't called.  If the claim of John Willard beating his wife was valid, would she have gone to such lengths to free him?

John Willard denied the charges, saying they were all lies, and asked that his wife be called to testify. Margaret was never questioned. In early August, John Willard was convicted and condemned to hang. Two days before his scheduled execution, Margaret made a final attempt to free her husband. According to Marilynne Roach in her book The Salem Witch Trials: A Day-By-Day Chronicle of a Community Under Siege, Margaret somehow obtained John’s temporary release from prison. Says Roach, “… the necessary papers had not yet reached Salem. So Goody Willard made her way from Boxford to Salem, hired a horse, and headed for Boston to see for herself about the delay, however, to no avail.” She was too late. John Willard, along with John Proctor, Reverend George Burroughs, George Jacobs Sr., and Martha Carrier, was hanged on Proctor’s Ledge at Gallows Hill on August 19.

The 400 people of Salem Village were not satisfied, accusing other members of the Village. Their targets spread throughout Massachusetts. Nineteen innocent people were hung, and Giles Corey was crushed to death after refusing to make a plea of guilt, which would have spared his life or declared his innocence. His wife Martha was among those hung.

When anyone dared to speak the truth, they were targeted by those in power. It didn't end with them. The accusers targeted their family members.

We should all wonder who will stand for the truth and defend the innocent. Had there been more brave people in Salem in 1692, would there have been so many caused to suffer because fear consumed what was good and fed a banquet of hatred to the powerful?

Understanding the PTSD painkiller is the start of healing

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 14, 2024

Change your brain's perception of the pain from PTSD.

When we have physical pain, doctors prescribe medication to block pain receptors in our brains. Cleveland Clinic explains how they work with this,

"...analgesics don’t turn off nerves, change the ability to sense your surroundings, or alter consciousness."

 What they do is this, 

"Analgesic opioids (also called narcotics) work by changing the brain’s perception of pain."

When you have #PTSD,  there is something that will not only change your brain's perception of pain, it will change your ability to alter your consciousness. It isn't magic, although some call it a miracle. It is waking up one day to discover suffering does not have to follow what you survived.

The only way for PTSD to strike is to survive something. The National Center for PTSD has a list of what can cause it. The first painkiller is understanding how many others are going through the same thing as you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Part of surviving is the tendency to become paranoid of others, especially when someone causes the trauma. You can have panic attacks and mood swings and experience the flight or fight response. 

That was the most significant result I had to deal with. My first husband tried to kill me and then stalked me. I moved over a thousand miles away from him, but the memory of what he did followed me. He drove a muscle car, and the sound sent me over the edge. Logically, I knew it wasn't him, but my memories overtook my awareness. I still find it strange this event took such a hold over me that I couldn't shake it off until I became aware he passed away. I survived over nine other events that left residual, but I was able to shake off enough to overcome the emotional rollercoaster ride from hell.

Anger is one of those pesky responses that can push people you care about away from you. Yep, been there too. It isn't fun.

Knowledge is also a painkiller you don't need a pill for. The pain of survival could have taken over my life, but I am stubborn. There was no way I would allow it to rip me apart from what I believed. While there are dangers in the world and things happen, we have no control over them. I knew we only control ourselves. I am also an inquisitive person. I needed to know what PTSD was because of my husband. He survived Vietnam. While most people believe PTSD only strikes veterans, it strikes a large percentage of survivors. 

Some of us need a psychologist—I did. Most of us need to know that there is hope of living a happier life because we're humans. Having someone willing to listen to us without trying to fix us is a painkiller.

Having someone share why they understand us because of their own experiences is a painkiller.

Knowing my family loved me and my friends cared about me was a painkiller. They had no way of knowing what I was going through because I didn't. I couldn't explain it to them until I learned what was causing my changes. The strange thing is, that was over 40 years ago when I was researching Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to understand my husband. I understood what surviving did to me, so I was able to understand what it did to veterans. What I didn't know was I had a rare case of PTSD tied to my first husband because of a lifetime of survival and my knowledge of PTSD. If it sounds screwed up to you, it was to me too.

Once you decide you're tired of being unhappy, read all you can, talk to someone you trust, share what you are going through, and let people know it isn't caused by them. Learn to lean on someone, and then you can offer a shoulder to someone else. Be willing to become their painkiller and hope maker.

Where witches existed beyond the boundaries of imagination

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 7, 2024

When was the last time some change in your life turned out to be a good one? I know I was apprehensive any time it did. When you survive the thing that caused #PTSD, it changes you into a survivor.  Some people love to remind us of that, but when we deal with the changes it causes, we become terrified the next time something changes.

The Scribe of Salem: "Ministers of the Mystery by Kathie Costos is an enthralling debut in a series that seamlessly blends fantasy, supernatural horror, and elements of spirituality."

His life sucked! Every change that happened to him over the last seven years was terrible. It was September 13, 2019, precisely seven years after he survived a bomb blast in Afghanistan. He wasn't sitting at the bar of the Bishop Hotel celebrating. He has been lamenting his losses since then. PTSD killed his career as a combat journalist. When he returned home, his wife wasn't grateful he survived. She tried to kill him. That wasn't enough for her. She stalked him. Drinking to numb himself left him jobless and homeless. He couldn't leave LA fast enough, so he let his wife have their condo.

He took his time returning to Salem, visiting churches along the way, searching for God, and trying to fill the spiritual void. He didn't find anything to fill it. He left his hometown as a successful reporter. He came back as a successful failure.

So, he sat at the bar while his only friend poured him drinks and listened to him between customers. After listening to him every night for three years, Ed knew almost everything about Chris. What he didn't know was just an hour before Chris walked into the bar, he tried to kill himself.

And then it happened. The change entered the door and set off a series of events that would send Chris into a world no reporter had ever encountered: a world of secret societies and conspiracies, a world where witches existed beyond the boundaries of imagination.

Are you tired of people saying the Bible is the written word of God while failing to see that God didn't make mistakes or edit its errors and omissions? God inspired it, but we all know human thoughts, emotions, and agendas get in the way. We also know that other books were left out of our Bibles. Want to learn how you have the power to reach out to God on your own without anyone getting in the way? Want to know about the passages members of the clergy won't give sermons on?

Suppose you believe in reincarnation, spirituality, and gifts within all of our spirits and are willing to witness the transformation of this successful failure. In that case, you can read the series at half off. 

Get caught up before the 1st Witch Of Salem is published next year.

Get The Scribe Of Salem at 50% off! You can also read The Visionary Of Salem and the 13th Minister Of Salem at this discounted price with the link to the Ministers Of The Mystery Series.

Now is your best chance to find my entire ebook collection for a promotional price at @Smashwords as part of their 2024 End of Year Sale! Find my books and many more at https://www.smashwords.com/shelves/promos/ through January 1! #SmashwordsEoYSale #Smashwords

Are dark empaths using your pain?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 22, 2024

Beware of dark empaths! They feed off your pain, grief, and fears!

Stay calm, but I've been working on the next book, the 1st Witch Of Salem. It won't be finished until 2025. I can't give the story away, but one of the significant themes addresses what makes us us. It is the spirit within us.

"Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” John 4:23-24

I no longer consider myself "religious," but I still believe in God and Jesus. This may seem confusing until you understand that churches have managed to divide people with their manmade rules and conditions. Jesus made no such demands. I find more comfort and power when speaking directly to God through my spirit. So yes, you can be one while not being the other.

Our spirits are immortal because they are created in His image. Our bodies are biological, but our spirits hold meaning to our lives. Everything that makes us who we are lives in our spirit and the spirit lives in our minds. Psychologists have been trying to figure out the magical components dwelling in our minds for centuries. Recently, they concluded that there are findings they cannot put into a box of what has become rational.

They have been studying empaths. Empaths can feel your pain, grief, and fears. They pay an emotional price while trying to help you. After trying to figure out what makes someone a sociopath, some began to focus on dark empaths. They can feel all that comes from your spirit; instead of paying a price to help you, they feed off it and use it to manipulate you.

Dark empaths are skilled at expressing empathy in a cognitive way rather than an emotional way, and the emotional distance they retain while operating equips them with a laser focus to achieve their ends through manipulation, gaslighting, or bullying.

I discovered this while researching the meaning of empaths. I have empathy, but there are different types of empaths. Discovering the meaning became vital because I met an empath, Jennifer of Lilac City Paranormal. I sought her out because I needed to understand how no one seems to agree on what happens to spirits after our bodies die.

Some, like me, believe in reincarnation. I also believe in heaven and hell. The belief in a spirit realm made it more complicated, and ghosts exist. How can all of it exist? Jennifer explained that it can. She willingly accepts the emotional pain she has to endure because she uses her spiritual gift to help others. I could feel that and see it in her eyes. When she spoke about how much pain they were in, I saw her grief. When she talked about the people she helped, I saw joy. No one can fake that.

Dark empaths find faking they want to help easy to do. Knowing people have emotional/spiritual needs, they pretend to have the ability to make us feel better. The only one they care about is themselves. We may walk away feeling empowered by anger toward others and hatred for anyone we can blame for our pain. Sure, that can take our minds off the cause of our pain, redirecting our negative energy to the forefront of our minds, but the pain lingers. Sooner or later, we regret having trusted someone with our deepest emotions. We already find it hard to trust someone when we live with #PTSD. Encountering a dark empath can get in the way of reaching out for help from anyone else. It's hard enough to find hope, but once they get their claws into us, we give up.

It makes it worse when they could be in any position they choose to do. Religious leaders, politicians, lawyers, doctors, coworkers, and bosses can all be dark empaths. They hide it well unless you understand what they do more than what they look like.

If you fall prey to a dark empath, there is something that can offer you comfort. Some don't want to live that way, and they even seek help to live a better life.

While dark empaths can change—especially with counseling—they must first acknowledge and show remorse for what they have done to you and be willing to change for the better.

Dark empaths are not the same as the dark triad.

The term “dark triad” was coined by researchers in 2002 to identify someone with personality traits that don’t meet the criteria for a formal diagnosis of associated personality disorders.

It consists of three personality traits: psychopathy, narcissism, and Machiavellianism.

A person with the personality traits of the dark triad may have signs of one or all these traits. They may exhibit:

lack of respect and empathy for others
arrogance
an unhealthy fascination with themselves
manipulation and lying
a need for attention and praise
an unhealthy preoccupation with gaining power
violent or aggressive behavior
lack of remorse or regret

Once you realize that even they can change, you begin to understand their spirits are trying to wake them up. Until they do, you are better off staying away from them when you can, or if not, realize they cannot be trusted with your emotions. It is one thing for someone to say they feel your pain but never intend to help you. It is miraculous for them to say they feel your pain and then do what they can to help you. The good news is there are more givers than the users.

(The cover design for the new book is done)

Just because the witch trials ended, the suffering never ended

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 18, 2024

There are some things no one can take away from you. No enemy on this earth can take away your free will. No one has the power to remove your thoughts. No one can control what you believe. No one can force you to surrender all hope. You are the only one in control of all of that.

What you think can only be changed by you. Do you realize how much power you have to change other people's thoughts? If you dare to speak to those you disagree with, and both of you are willing to listen, you can stop seeing one another as the enemy.

Many things divide us because people seem too focused on our differences. Contemplate how some people use their free religious choice in an attempt to control what you make the free will choice to believe. That isn't new. Nothing we see is new.

I find myself shaking my head so many times during the day I need IcyHot to ease the pain in my neck.

Writing the First Witch of Salem, the fourth book in the Ministers Of The Mystery Series, it became clear how people used fear to gain power. Once they figured that out, the added hatred provided someone to blame for their miseries. 

Harsh winter; blame a witch. Crops fail; blame a witch. If someone gets sick or dies, blame a witch. It worked out so well for those in charge; they put 300 people in prison and took their possessions. They had an enemy list. When they couldn't get someone to point fingers at their enemies, they tortured and threatened people until they received the testimony they sought.

What a master plan! It twisted and corrupted the Puritans' faith, coupled with fear of retribution to prevent anyone from speaking the truth, and it worked.

One wonders what would have happened if the people of Salem Village and the town of Salem had stood up against all of it when the witch accusations began.

It wasn't as if they had no example of how wrong it was to do what they were doing. Connecticut beat them to it. They hung Alse Young in 1647. It took them until 1669 to change their minds.

John Winthrop Jr. became Connecticut's governor and chief magistrate in 1657 and a few years thereafter was given the critically important assignment of attaining an official royal charter from King Charles II. This charter established Connecticut as an independent colony and amongst other privileges, granted Winthrop the right to pardon offenders. Winthrop was able to overturn the conviction of Elizabeth Seager of Hartford at her third witchcraft trial in 1666 and save Katherine Harrison from a death sentence in 1669. Harrison's trial was notable in that it changed the way evidence is used in Connecticut, including determining that there should be a plurality of witnesses, at least two for every event. Additionally, Winthrop lead the way in determining that the burden of proof should be on the accusers rather than the accused and he lobbied to dismiss the use of spectral evidence (evidence based on dreams or visions). Over time Winthrop used his alchemist background to challenge the ideas of "diabolical magic".

Some courageous people in Massachusetts were willing to speak the truth, but there were so few that retaliation with accusations against them silenced others. Rev. Francis Dane was a preacher from Andover. His bravery in opposing the witch trials caused members of his family to be charged, and two of them were executed. The people of Salem should have considered what he said, especially since he preached against it long before it happened in Salem.

The sad truth about what happened in Salem was that none of it had to happen. If the people practiced their Christian faith and believed what they claimed they did, they would or should have been willing to do whatever it took to defend those wrongfully charged.

Many aspects of what occurred in Massachusetts over 300 years ago can be associated with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. One that never seems to be noticed is the guilt they felt when the trials stopped, and those held in prison were again among them. They would have spoken about the terror they experienced while being tortured, including children as young as four years old being terrorized.

You may ask how guilt can cause #PTSD. Some only associate it with survivor guilt, but there is a difference. It is also a moral injury. Remorse over what was done to others is powerful.

There is a great deal of overlap between moral injury and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Both begin with an event that is often life threatening or harmful to self or others. Guilt and shame are core features of moral injury and are also symptoms of PTSD. The betrayal and loss of trust that could be experienced with moral injury are also common features of PTSD. For example, someone who was assaulted by a loved one may feel betrayed and have difficulty trusting others, whether or not they also suffered moral injury or PTSD.

Think about what they went through watching 19 women and men hanging from ropes on Proctor's Ledge. Think about what they went through when they heard what happened to those who were forgotten while held in four different prisons. Then, think about what it was like for the accusers to have to see those they accused walking freely again while knowing the lies they told came back to haunt them. 

While some remained guilt-free because they had no conscience, many would have felt it in their guilt deeply in their spirits. It was too late to change what they allowed to happen. They made a lame attempt to atone for it by having a day of prayer and repentance. Still, no one was held accountable for what they did to so many innocent people.  Just because the witch trials ended, the suffering never ended.

I am retraumatized remembering what happened to me

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 28, 2024

I have heard too many people talking about being pro-life and pro-choice. The truth of what is behind all of the talk has been silenced. Once a choice is taken away from someone, it is taken away from all of us.

My heart breaks for all the people who have suffered because they had to go through horrifying medical emergencies. No one asked them if they wanted what they were forced to endure. It didn't matter if they wanted to be pregnant or not. It didn't matter if they were Republican or Democrat, Independent, or refused to vote for the people running for election. All that mattered was a female was pregnant and needed medical intervention.

Read Dozens of pregnant women, some bleeding or in labor, are turned away from ERs despite federal law from Associated Press to understand what has me re-traumatized.

The Biden administration says hospitals must offer abortions when needed to save a woman’s life, despite state bans enacted after the Supreme Court overturned the constitutional right to an abortion more than two years ago. Texas is challenging that guidance and, earlier this summer, the Supreme Court declined to resolve the issue.

More than 100 pregnant women in medical distress who sought help from emergency rooms were turned away or negligently treated since 2022, an Associated Press analysis of federal hospital investigations found.

Some people live in states where they feel as if voting to codify the choice over what to do with their own bodies has made them safe from those horror stories. They failed to wonder what would happen if the people running for office had already stated they wanted to ban abortions across the nation. More perplexing is they do not seem to wonder what would happen to them should they need what they voted for and what they voted to take away from everyone.

I suppose I should consider myself lucky when a pregnancy went wrong and nearly killed me, but laws protect my life. It was in the early 80s when I was carrying twins. My husband and I were thrilled. He went to every doctor's appointment with me. That thrill turned into a deadly nightmare when I started to bleed. Our doctor told me to get to the emergency room. I was hemorrhaging in the wheelchair while the nurse was checking me in. As I was wheeled away, I left a trail of blood behind me, and the seat was soaked. One of the twins came out. The doctor had to abort the other one to save my life.

As bad as that was, my husband blamed himself because of Agent Orange from Vietnam. It didn't matter that our doctor explained that the egg had split wrong. His mild #PTSD became full-blown because he lost the ability to fight it. I had nightmares because when it all happened, I was in the maternity ward and had to listen to babies crying and people celebrating the joy of a new life in the world after I lost the two I hoped would come too.

There was no debate over if the doctor could be arrested for doing it. My doctor didn't have to wait for the hospital administrator to approve the procedure. There was no judge or politician to make us wait for their power to choose what happened to me. My life was saved without delay because the law protected me.

No one else had the power to get involved. No one claiming to be pro-life had the power to let my life end because what they decided was right for them gave them the ability to make decisions for me. All of this is playing out across the country, and I am retraumatized remembering what happened to me so long ago. I wonder if any of them have contemplated it happening to them.

I know I didn't think it could happen to me until it did.

I wonder if they ever thought that once this right is taken away from everyone because that is what they wanted, what is the next right they will see gone. I am pro-choice because of what happened to me, and I don't want the power to choose for someone else.

They got away with murder in Salem Village

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 15, 2024

They got away with murder in Salem Village just by saying they believed someone was a witch!

The accusers were responsible for the murder of 19 people found guilty of witchcraft and one crushed to death without a trial. Reading the list of those who accused innocent people may make you wonder if any of them were put on trial. The answer is no because there was no way to prove what they claimed to believe were nothing more than lies from their lips. Imagine the trauma inflicted on the colony of Massachusetts because the accused came from all over it. 

The accusations ran their course in Salem Village but not in Andover, where 48 were accused compared with 23 in Salem Village, says Burns. “A lot of people were against spectral evidence, so confessions were now the gold standard to find people guilty. The confessions that came before were from people with no agency whatsoever, like little Dorothy. But when they got to Andover, the magistrates were really good at interrogating people in private. By September, they could coerce people like clockwork. There, a lot who confessed were children as young as six.” National Endowment For The Humanities

There were many reasons for what happened there and what was behind it.

Evidence points to several factors that may have contributed to the mass hysteria: “An influx of refugees from King William’s War with French colonists, a recent smallpox epidemic, the threat of attack from Native Americans, a growing rivalry with the neighboring seaport of Salem Town, and the simmering tensions between leading families in the community created the perfect storm of suspicion and resentment.” Many historians believe the “witches” were also victims of scapegoating, personal vendettas, and social mores against outspoken, strong women.

But it didn't just happen in the colony of Massachusetts. The following is from New England Law.

The Salem Witch Trials occurred just as Europe’s “witchcraft craze’’ from the 14th to 17th centuries was winding down, where an estimated tens of thousands of European witches, mostly women, were executed.

The Puritans believed physical realities had spiritual causes. For example, if the crops failed, the Devil may have played a role. With this worldview, it was not a stretch for them to accept 'spectral evidence' of spirits and visions—which was the primary evidence used as proof of guilt during the Salem Witch Trials.

The thought of bad things happening as acts of God goes back to Biblical times. If people suffered, it was God judging them. If they prospered, then it was God's reward. This begs the question, if God was doing it to them, then how did they place blame on the Devil and witchcraft? How did they come full circle and again set their miseries on God and not the Devil? When the trials were over, they had a "Day of Atonement" to ask God to forgive them; that is precisely what they were led to believe instead of continuing to blame witches and the devil.

Whatever reason the accusers needed, it was provided. The list included torture, which made them very good at getting accusations "in private."

Aftermath of the Salem Trials
After the prisoners awaiting trial on charges of practicing witchcraft were granted amnesty (pardoned) in 1693, the accusers and judges showed hardly any remorse for executing twenty people and causing others to languish in jails. Instead, they placed the blame on the "trickery of Satan," thus freeing themselves from any sense of guilt. Jurors and townspeople also managed to maintain a clear conscience by claiming that, after all, many victims had confessed to their "crimes" and that the Salem, Massachusetts, community had been tricked by the devil. Yet families who had lost loved ones and property during the trials were expected to go on with their lives as if nothing had happened. Their attempts to regain social standing and receive financial compensation through formal legal channels took several years.

But we know the "clear conscience" they claimed wasn't real. Shame caused them to rename Salem Village. It became Danvers.

After the Witch Trials: Welcome to Danvers
By September of 1692, the peak of the witch hysteria was over and 25 innocent people were dead. 19 people were hanged. Five people had died in prison, and one elderly man was pressed to death. The vast majority of those executed came from rural areas, the majority from Salem Village.

After the trials, “in both Salem and Danvers, there was shame over what had happened here and a reluctance to deal with the trauma of the trials,” says Dan Lipcan, a library director and curator of the Peabody Essex Museum in Salem, Massachusetts.

Slowly, Salem Village—the epicenter of the hysteria—began to move on, building a new meeting house in 1701 and abandoning the bad memories of the former. In 1706, Ann Putnam made a public apology, stating, “As I was a chief instrument of accusing Goodwife Nurse and her two sisters, I desire to lie in the dust and to be humbled for it.”

Putnam made her confession simply to be admitted back into the church, the same faith that supported the lies that caused so much suffering. She didn't list all the other people she falsely accused. Could it be that she couldn't be bothered enough to remember all of their names? According to Dr. John Howard Smith, there were 300 accused.

During that one year, 20 people were executed as witches, which Smith suggested “indicates a certain degree of restraint, considering that nearly 300 people were accused.”

But we also know that it didn't just happen in Salem. It happened in Connecticut, too.

Between 1647 and 1697, about three dozen people (the exact number is disputed, as many court records have been lost) were charged with witchcraft in Connecticut. Eleven were executed, all by hanging. Nine of the 11 were women. The two men executed were hanged along with their wives. Of those who weren’t executed, some fled their community; others were banished.

Having PTSD, we don't need to guess what all of this did to the people involved as victims, nor do we have to imagine what it did to the rest of the people in the area. They knew it could happen to them at any moment. They also knew the truly guilty got away with it once, and nothing could stop them the next time. No one was held to account for anything, and they were "free" to move on from what they did. Those who suffered were never free to move on.

Imagine knowing the accusers were free to continue their lives as if nothing had happened, and there was no reason to feel guilty. Imagine knowing the judges were rewarded for their actions instead of held accountable. This is from the History of Massachusetts Blog.

According to Emerson W. Baker in his book, A Storm of Witchcraft, these nine judges were considered the elite of the Massachusetts Bay Colony:

“As a group, the judges represented the proverbial 1 percent – the merchant elite who were wealthy, intermarried, and exercised power in social, political, and military circles. In short, they were the superrich of Massachusetts. Simply calling them ‘merchants’ shortchanges them…Most had considerable political experience, having served as deputies and assistants in the General Court.”

Look at the site and see what happened to the judges like William Stoughton, Chief Magistrate.

From 1694 to 1699 and again from 1700 to 1701, Stoughton served as acting governor of Massachusetts after Governor William Phips was recalled to England. He also continued to serve as chief justice of the Massachusetts courts until his death on July 7, 1701.

In 1697, Samuel Sewall was the only one to apologize for his part in horrific events. The others simply signed a letter.

And then there was Judge John Hathorne, who "was one of the most vocal participants during the Salem witchcraft trials."

Hathorne’s great-great grandson was Nathaniel Hawthorne, whose works reveal Hawthorne’s guilt over the sins of his ancestor. It is speculated that Nathaniel Hawthorne added the “w” to the family name as a means of distancing himself from the wrongdoing of his great-great-grandfather. It is equally possible this change was merely the result of a fashion of the period, as many families were altering their names to reflect the original English spelling. It is interesting to note that Hawthorne did hold particular disdain for his ancestor, as Judge Hathorne appears as the antagonist Judge Pyncheon in Hawthorne’s 1851 novel The House of the Seven Gables.

When you consider what was done to those accused of witchcraft, imagine being afraid of being the next one to be wrongfully charged, imprisoned, tortured, and held in horrid conditions. At the same time, they not only took what you owned, but they made you pay money for what was done to you before they would release you. Then imagine living the rest of your life while discovering none of them were held accountable for what they did to you.

You don't have to use much energy imagining if you were the victim of a crime and they got away with it. You don't have to imagine it if you saw your day in court and the guilty got away with it because of a technicality. You don't have to if you suffered from medical malpractice, but lawyers said it would cost them too much money to pursue the evidence.

No matter what caused PTSD to strike you after you survived it, it should be easy enough to understand what the people of Salem Town and village, now called Danvers, had to endure. When you read what they went through before the accusations were made, you'll see what we now know as traumas that can produce PTSD.

We are not only aware of what PTSD does to us, we are aware of what our families go through while we suffer.

This research showed that Vietnam Veterans have more marital problems and family violence. Their partners have more distress. Their children have more behavior problems than do those of Veterans without PTSD. Veterans with the most severe symptoms had families with the worst functioning.

We also know that none of it had to happen. As for Vietnam veterans, the research was left out a detail. While it wasn't easy, my husband and I have been married for 40 years. He got help to heal, and so did I. We believed in God, but we also believed in science. Ironically, that's how the people of Salem stopped blaming God and each other when other bad things happened to them.

Kathie Costos author of The Scribe Of Salem, The Visionary Of Salem and 13th Minister Of Salem

Trauma was manufactured in Salem Village

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 6, 2024

In 1692, trauma was manufactured in Salem Village so successfully that it spread beyond the population of 500. Whatever you read or have been led to believe about the witch trials, understand one simple, basic fact. None of the people making accusations were telling the truth. What is worse is they knew it.

If you have PTSD, you survived something. That's the only way for it to inflict your thoughts. As bad as it is, imagine if you discovered the trauma you survived was manufactured by influential people. Then imagine strangers lying and accusing you so forcefully that even your neighbors supported their accusations.

Why would they be willing to do such a sinister thing? Fear it could happen to them if they didn't.

That was how the people of Massachusetts had to live in 1692. It wasn't bad enough that they had to struggle with harsh winters, poor crops, and fear of more attacks by Native American tribes trying to take back their land. They had to cope with far too many people searching for something or people to blame for their suffering.

That was fed by the household of Reverand Samual Parris. People paid taxes and were supposed to give him firewood, but he wasn't paid his salary, and the family often lived in a cold home. Precisely what caused the children to begin making false accusations remains a mystery. They were the spark that started the manufactured traumas. Thomas Putnam used the girls had as a means of revenge against neighbors. After all, he had God on his side since the Reverand was involved. 

Back then, they were easy targets if people did not attend church. Sarah Osborne was one of the first accused because Putnam grudged her. She was ill and didn't attend church, adding to notches against her. She was also the first to die because of the lies. She died in the Boston jail, and her family received a bill for her incarceration as well as the shackles to prevent her from flying away. 

Most people remember Tituba confessing, but she escaped being put to death after she confessed to witchcraft. It was claimed that those who confessed would be judged by God, but it would have been more plausible that she could name more names and be believed. Sarah Good was one of them, but she was pregnant at the time of her conviction. Her four-year-old daughter Dorothy was forced to accuse her mother and confess to witchcraft, as well as join her mother in prison. The townspeople learned the lesson that no one would be spared if they didn't play along, including their own children.

There is a correlation between the witch trials and PTSD. It was something no one got over. Between the guilt the accusers carried and the tormented survivors, no one ever escaped the horrors of that year. They did not believe in science. They believed in God's wrath and the devil. Anyone suffering from the infliction of agony was either in league with Satan or being judged by God. Once the trials ended, the people pushed for a Day of Atonement.

January 14, 1697- The Massachusetts General Court orders a day of public fasting and prayer in atonement for errors made by the colony, including the witchcraft trials. On this day, twelve of the jurors of the Court of Oyer and Terminer sign a statement of apology for their role in the witch trials. In addition, Samuel Sewall, who served as a magistrate in 1692, stands before his congregation while his minister reads a prepared statement aloud. In this declaration, Sewall acknowledges his feelings of shame for his role in the witchcraft trials and asks God to pardon his sins.

It may have occurred to you that you know exactly what they were going through since we go between God causing our traumas or Satan causing the possession of our lives. I know I did when surviving was just the beginning of the battle to survive being a survivor. 

PTSD can happen in our lifetime, no matter how old we are

Journalist Suffers PTSD from Covering War in Gaza, 'Hell on Earth': 'You Can’t Escape' (Exclusive)

PEOPLE
By Vanessa Etienne
September 30, 2024

“When you come back from a reporting assignment, and you're cleaning other people's blood off the bottom of your boots… you don't learn this in journalism school.” Trey Yingst

For Trey Yingst, the smell of barbecue triggers his PTSD. It reminds him of the burning bodies he witnessed in Gaza after war abruptly broke out in October 2023. The smells are eerily similar, he says, adding that his brain struggles to distinguish them.

“I try as much as possible to separate things in my mind, but that can be difficult,” he tells PEOPLE. “The mind will flash back very quickly.”

On Oct. 7, 2023, Hamas militants from Gaza launched a surprise terrorist attack on Israel, killing roughly 1,400 people and taking more than 200 others hostage — a day that later became known as “Black Saturday,” which is also the title of Yingst’s new book.

Yingst — Fox News chief foreign correspondent — spent nearly 200 days on the ground covering the war and calls it “one of the scariest assignments I’ve ever had.”

“We were in southern Israel on the morning of October 7 and witnessed the massacre firsthand. There were people that died in front of me and we saw the aftermath… bodies everywhere,” he recalls. “That was when I really started to realize the impact that being a war correspondent can have on your mind.”
read the rest here

It's true; you don't learn what war reporters end up covering in journalism school. You don't know what you'll face during a pandemic in nursing school, and people go from calling you a hero to blaming you for what "hardships" they had to go through because they couldn't do what they wanted when they wanted to. They don't train you to face a massacre at the police academy. They don't train you to face a sniper when you are being trained as a firefighter or to face loss after loss of fellow citizens, as well as colleagues taking their own lives. The truth is, no amount of training can prepare you for when the unthinkable happens.

Some professions come with known risks, and people are not blind to them. Then there are the risks that hit you when you never saw them coming. The only thing you can prepare for is the need to ask for help. Seems like a no-brainer, but it is often the hardest thing to do when you are one of the people helping others for a living.

How do you ask for help when you have it in your mind that you were trained to cope with everything you had to face on your job? By acknowledging they didn't train you for everything because they didn't have a crystal ball to foretell your future. No matter how often they told you they could, they couldn't train you for everything in the military. If they could, there would be no need to pay millions of dollars yearly to research how to find something that worked. Considering the number of suicides in the military and in the veteran community has not gone down, that's a huge clue right there.

But it isn't just a military problem. It is a problem that every trauma survivor has to figure out...how to become a survivor who survives surviving.

We can't talk to "normal" people because they won't understand. At least we don't think they will because we don't give them a chance. It's a lot easier to deny there's anything wrong with us, and we're coping just fine with whatever life did to us. We don't tell them that our way of coping is hiding the pain or numbing it by drinking or doing drugs.

The most prepared people to reach out to share are seniors like me because we know we're all going through our own struggles. We still know how to talk to our neighbors face-to-face or on the phone, just checking in. No one trained us to get old besides our parents, but they couldn't foresee everything our lives would become. We did, however, learn that when we open up, we discover we're not alone. No one would share their heartaches or struggles if they always pretended to be happy. No one trained us, and no one warned us that we could end up with PTSD in our senior years, either.

The other truth is that PTSD can happen in our lifetime, no matter how old we are. 

Will ever see a day when no survivor regrets surviving?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 19, 2024

1692 had many lessons for us to learn from, but we chose to repeat the same mistakes instead of learning those lessons.

I find myself getting more and more unable to control myself when I hear a lie, especially when in regards to #PTSD. It happened when I was shopping at Home Depot. I had a large witch broom in the shopping cart and was wearing a shirt with "1692, they missed one."

Maybe TMI, but I had it on because my great-niece wanted to see it, so I put on the hat, too. I thought you needed to know how strange I looked when I stopped to talk to a woman after overhearing her talk about 22 veterans a day committing suicide. Had it been the other way around, I don't think I'd be as polite to a stranger who looked like I did and wanted to talk to me. But she was courteous and willing to listen. After all, she was a member of the National Guards.

I corrected the rumor of what she thought to be accurate by pointing out that the number came from the VA in 2012 and clearly stated that the data came from just 21 states with limited data. The majority of veterans committing suicide were over the age of 50, but no one was talking about them. Hell, they still aren't.

And then I told her that if they understood that we, as civilians, battle PTSD after surviving just one event, they'd stop thinking they had anything to be ashamed of. We are discovering that surviving the unthinkable is not the end of our future. It is a new beginning. If we dare to reach out to others, we have the power to deliver someone from evil trying to take over their lives.

PTSD is like no other illness. It is an evil invader, trying to erode hope, making us feel unworthy of surviving what we did, and pushing people away while we need them to help us heal. What we fail to notice is that talking about people losing so much hope, they wanted to end their suffering the only way they knew how, isn't helpful. They need to know that others face the same darkness and discover how they can live happier lives if not perfect ones. It worsens when a veteran hears some people simply repeat a number that isn't real, as if it doesn't matter. They need to hear about the one person they can gain inspiration from because their life does matter to the person talking to them.

The lesson we must learn about the witch trials for this part is simple. Lies were deadly then. People weren't just executed. They were tortured. Family members were tortured. Every villager feared becoming the next accused if they dared to speak. Most people disapproved of what was happening but were too afraid to speak out. PTSD was alive and thriving in Salem Village, but no one knew what to call it other than an affliction. The "victims" needed people to stand up for them in mass and deliver the accused from the evil being committed against them. 

The same holds true now when others are "afflicted" by PTSD because we survived, and no one is talking about how we lose hope in higher numbers because there are more of us. We wait and watch to see how veterans are treated with meaningless slogans, as too many suffer, and we wonder if we will ever see a day when no survivor regrets surviving. 

I left Home Depot wondering why the woman I was talking to told me she knew about the research and still repeated the false number of 22 a day. It wasn't that she didn't care. I thought it may have been because it is what far too many people believed to be true.

Salem Witch Trials and the trauma no one got over

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 12, 2024

When you think about the Salem Witch Trials, you may focus on the 20 innocent people murdered after being accused of being witches. What you probably don't think about is what happened to those who suffered because they lived to tell the tales no one wanted to hear.

We enjoy movies and TV programs that portray witches. One of my favorites was a recent series on Netflix, A Discovery of Witches, which I binge-watched three times.

I was glad I sucked up the fact the protagonist, Diana Bishop, was supposed to be a descendant of Bridget Bishop, and she was a witch, but Bridget was not a witch. She was accused and the first to be hung. Once I could push that fact out of the way, I found A Discovery Of Witches fantastic.

When Matthew Clairmont, a vampire, had to prove he was haunted by those he killed or turned, it was clear he was haunted by what he had done. I never thought that a vampire could be traumatized or any monster. The scene was masterfully done.

Still, I have to wonder why Deborah Harkness, the author of the All Souls series the show was based on, had to include Bridget Bishop as a witch. I feel the same way about other shows I enjoy. If they mention any of the accused as witches, I have to block my ears.

Walk into any store, and you'll find bags filled with Halloween candy, creepy decorations, and costumes. Events are planned to handle the influx of tourists seeking to experience Salem's history as The Witch City. You'll find the Witch Dungeon. There, you can witness a reenactment of Sarah Good's trial. The problem is when the site opens with "Come raise the devil," it doesn't mention the fact the devil was in the accusers, but hell was what the accused had to endure. One of them was Sarah Good's four-year-old daughter Dorothy.

Dorothy Good said her mother, Sarah, was a witch. The problem was a four-year-old would have to be a genius to use the words she said.

During Good’s interrogation, her four-year-old daughter Dorothy “confessed” to witchcraft. Dorothy’s confession implicated Good for black magic, though some believe that Dorothy only “confessed” so that she could be reunited with her mother. Dorothy likewise alleged that her mother had gifted her a snake, or a “witches’ familiar.” Dorothy then showed the magistrates where the snake had sucked her blood, though some suspect that the wound was little more than a flea bite. Dorothy, who bit and pinched her interrogators, was, too, accused of witchcraft. Dorothy remained imprisoned for nine months at Salem Jail, an indefensible experience which left Dorothy mentally impaired.

Yet even the claim about Dorothy where she was held is disputed. Some notable sites say she was transferred to Boston because of overcrowding. Others say she was taken to Ipswitch after that. Salem "Jail" wasn't what we think a jail is. The dungeon was used for the most dangerous prisoners, such as murderers, pirates, and witches. It was dark and rat-infested, and the prisoners were shackled. The stench from human waste, filthy bodies covered with lice, and clothing turning into rags. And then there were the torture sessions. With 300 of the accused being provided room and board in four prisons, no one was released after being cleared of the charges until they paid for their "care," including paying for the use of the shackles. If they couldn't pay for food, they were given bread, water...and nothing more.

That horror was Dorothy Good's young life. It was also the lives of at least seven other children. It was how some spent their last days dying there. Lydia Dustin was one of them. She was held until her passing on March 10, 1693. No one was the same after those horrible months, but it was Dorothy Good's lifelong horror she would never recover from. She was forced to claim that her mother was a witch and that she was one as well. She watched Sarah give birth to her sister Mercy and then watched as Mercy died. She watched her mother being taken from her and never returned. And then spent months as a five-year-old in those horrible prisons.

They didn't know about the term PTSD back then, but they sure as hell knew what it was. 

Those are just some traumatic stories no one wants to remember when they enjoy a good show or are entertained. Most people still think they burned witches in Salem. That didn't happen in Salem, but in Scotland and England, only burned the bodies so they couldn't be buried. Instead of talking about hundreds, we're talking about thousands enduring the terror of being accused and punished for something they didn't do.

The other thing we don't talk about is how the people had the power to stop all of it if they joined forces. Taking a stand when those who did speak out were accused of witchcraft prevented others from trying. They never got over that, either.

Because I love to help

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
August 27, 2024

I have been hearing people say hateful things most of my life. However, I have never witnessed so many people spreading hatred as if it were something to be proud of. How does it make them feel about filling themselves up with it?  Do they notice it doesn't make their lives better? I don't need to wonder about those doing things out of love. I know it fills them with the knowledge they helped someone.

Over the years, people asked me why I do what I do to help people with #PTSD. The answer was simple. Because I can remember what it was like to feel lost and alone. I'll never forget the hope I was given when people started to help and guide me. I realize that was back before a lot of readers were born. After all, it was the late 80s, and practically no one had the internet. (Not that it would have helped since we didn't have computers either.) 

My generation knew more about PTSD because we learned the old-fashioned way. We talked face to face. Sharing what it was like was hard at first. Society told us that PTSD was something to be ashamed of because we were too weak to get over it. We told each other we understood what surviving did because it did it to us. 

Some people I helped were fixated on hating others because they were hurt by others. When they reached the point where they trusted me, I'd ask them if hating did anything to change their lives. No one said it did. Then, I asked them how it felt to help someone. They said it made them happier. Most said it made them more peaceful inside or gave them hope. It's a spiritual thing anyone can do...and should do.

What I did, the hours I spent helping, filled me with more than any time spent hating did. Every second I spent remembering people who hurt me in the past drained me. I decided to remove the power they held over me and refused to allow them to continue to hurt me. 

I had to realize that they had long forgotten me, and it is doubtful they lost any sleep over the harm they did. I lost too much sleep tossing and turning about getting revenge. I had to decide to push my memory of them out of my mind so that the memories of those who helped me could fill me. After all, I had more people doing what they could for me than those who did what they could to destroy me.

Do you spend time hating people? Do you hate people you don't even know? Do you notice none of that hatred makes your life better? You realize you don't want it in your life once you open your eyes to what hatred is doing to you. Push it out so love can move in.

PTSD: 'Cry together, laugh together'

If you take nothing else away from the article below, remember this part.

'Cry together, laugh together'

Immediately after the fires, the town's art gallery became a refuge for residents and tourists alike.

Left in devastation, with a long recovery process ahead, Mallacoota Arts Council president Ms Casement and fellow artists banded together to run art workshops to take people's minds off the horrific event and provide a safe space to gather.

I found that and the report extremely comforting. Knowing a community was coming together to help fellow residents heal instead of just focusing on veterans gave me great hope that people like me mattered as much as veterans. That's what all of us need to remember. #PTSD is about surviving something others will never know or understand. That's why it is so important for us to find support from others who will help us.

Art classes help Mallacoota residents process bushfire trauma and find connections

ABC News
By Jessica Schremmer
July 28, 2024

In the aftermath, many people struggled to find words, expressions and ways to deal with the disastrous experience and psychological stress.

Ms Casement says people are traumatised and still processing what happened.(ABC News: Jessica Schremmer)

When the catastrophic 2019 bushfire ripped through the small coastal town of Mallacoota in Victoria's far east, it changed the vibrant community's fabric forever.

For some residents, the fire turned everything they owned into ash.

Resident Lynn Casement's home was among the 123 houses the fire destroyed.

"I will be traumatised probably for the rest of my life," she said.

"So many people after the bushfires have suffered PTSD [post-traumatic stress disorder] and are traumatised by what they saw and what they felt."

Sarah Holt, who moved from Melbourne to her new home in Mallacoota in 2019, lost everything just months later in the bushfire emergency.
read more here

What is your comminty doing for your residents? Are they aware of how many of you are suffering after surviving? If not, then how about you do something to explain it to them? If they are, then how about you spread the word about what they are doing? Don't simply assume just because you know about it, others like you know as well.

It is my greatest hope that you will acknowledge knowing there is nothing to be ashamed of because of what being a survivor did to you, will help you open up to help others like you. Believe it or not, that is also healing for you. I know it has been for me.

Are you feeding the #PTSD posion trying to kill you?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
July 23, 2024

Are you telling yourself you're taking care of getting over what happened to you, or are you feeding the #PTSD posion trying to kill you?

I know I did that. It was after my first husband tried to kill me. My friends weren't willing to listen to me. Truthfully, I wasn't willing to talk most of the time. Their solution was to take me out every night to our favorite bar. They were trying to cheer me up. I was trying to get drunk enough to get some sleep. I figured if I passed out, the nightmares wouldn't wake me up as soon as I fell asleep. My poison was CC and Sprite. It should have been something to kill what came with PTSD instead of trying to get numb.

That was my solution back in 1981. People like me weren't talked about back then, and reporters didn't interview survivors of other traumas either. No one understood us but us. We didn't have the Internet or home computers. We had to deal with all of it on our own. What made it worse was that veterans had to deal with it on their own as well, which is ironic considering that researchers were studying what combat had done to them.

I used my own history as the basis for the protagonist of The Scribe Of Salem. Chris Papadopoulos is, in many ways, the male version of me. His pain and confusion regarding PTSD were what I went through. His struggles with God were the torment I went through many times. He self-medicated to kill the emotions he didn't want to feel since none of them were good ones.

I created friends for him because they were the friends I wished I had. Not that there was anything wrong with the real friends I had back then, but they didn't know what I was going through and were unable to help me. Chris was surrounded by survivors of other traumas. They remembered the pain but wanted to share the healing to restore hope within him.

It had to take place in Salem because it is an example of what can happen when faith turns against us. Faith was used as a weapon to control the people and cause them to fear everyone around them. They knew they could be the next ones to be accused of witchcraft. It didn't matter that people used the gifts in their spirits to help others. It didn't matter that most of those charged and murdered had no relationship to any type of witchcraft any more than the other 200 imprisoned were innocent. This hatred-inspired trauma caused another trauma of faith.

One of the biggest struggles I had was spiritually based, but I couldn't talk to anyone about it. I tried. My Priest had no understanding of what trauma did mentally or spiritually. It wasn't his fault he wasn't trained to understand it. After all, most therapists in the civilian world weren't trained either. Now, even the National Center For PTSD addresses the need for spiritual therapy. I helped people understand what PTSD was and then addressed their spiritual struggles. When they were ready, I made sure they sought mental health professionals.

The Scribe of Salem flips many popular beliefs around to change the conversation most of us wish we had heard. It flips what many hear in church to focus on what scripture tells us but they will not speak of. It flips what many think they know about Salem, including the fact that none of the accused were witches. After all, the judges supposedly thought witches possessed all sorts of powers. Did they really think the "witches" would just sit around waiting to be arrested? It flips from what too many think PTSD is into what it really is. It flips what people think about secret societies and conspiracies. 

I wrote it because I couldn't find anything like it. My poison of choice became something to kill the demon called PTSD. Isn't it about time someone flipped the conversation around and made it something that most of us need? 

Consider the truth a giant-size bug killer

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
July 17, 2024

Some people mellow with age. Some people don't. I am one of those. I've reached a point when things bug me so much that I've been binge-watching shows repeatedly. I prefer to watch made-up horror shows than watch the news. Current events are more terrifying to me.

When people believe lies because they are of popular beliefs, no matter how ridiculous the lies are, truth isn't popular in their circles. No truth can penetrate their closed-down minds. The rest of us wonder what is wrong with them, especially if we know them to be people with functioning brain cells.

Hell has gone wrong with them. It isn't as if we haven't seen all this before. It has happened throughout history and has had deadly results. For those of us with PTSD, the lies we hear are more popular than the truths we need to know. It bugs me that the buzzing lies also come with financial gain for those pretending to help us. Sure, we could be grateful we aren't their targets because, apparently, they only know about Veterans with PTSD. It's hard to be thankful when we have been forgotten in all the news reports and veteran charity groups getting all the attention while the rest of us are left alone.

It bugs me that I used to be guilty of being just as obvious about civilians suffering, even though I was one of them.

Years ago, someone left a comment regarding how civilians with PTSD were ignored. I thought about it and then concluded that veterans were different. As a nation, we owed them help to heal what combat did to them. All the researchers back then agreed veterans needed to be treated in their own groups and receive therapy from professionals with special training able to care for them. I wasn't a veteran and never had trouble finding a therapist to help me. Not that I had a clue I was dealing with PTSD at the time, and my therapists didn't see it either. I just needed to do talk therapy to work through a lot of things. One was what I was going through with my husband when the stress was changing me. I was feeling angry most of the time. That is not in my nature. I knew I needed help to let it go.

Now I know I was living with PTSD in me most of my life. I had no clue I was suffering from a rare form of it. It bugs me that with all the clinical books I read, the therapists I saw, and the professionals I knew because of my work, I never learned anything about people like me. 

It bugs me that after all these years, veterans are still hearing lies because they are more popular than the truth. It bugs me they don't know civilians end up with PTSD after surviving just one event. They could see what their surviving events did to them if they knew about us. 

It bugs me that we don't communicate with them, and they don't communicate with us. Donating to charities focusing on veterans is all we need to do for them. We have no clue that sharing our struggles with them would help them more, and they have no clue that sharing their stories with us would help us as well.

So, what can we do to change the conversation? The next time you hear a lie buzzing in your ear, slap it with some truth and stop it from moving in. Explain the truth to the one telling you the lie. Read anything online you know is a lie, confront them with the truth, or at least let people know that the writer doesn't know what they are talking about. This has to include professional people lying about it.

We have enough crap that bugs us in the world we live in. Consider the truth a giant-size bug killer.