Will you remember them?

Will you remember them?
by
Chaplain Kathie

To the parents

You raised your sons and daughters. You saw them develop into adults. From the time you taught them how to walk and stand on their own two feet, you watched them become their own person. You knew what they liked and what they had no tolerance for. You knew what made them laugh as well as what made them cry. You knew how much they cared about you and the rest of the family as well as how much they cared about their friends. You knew what kind of students they were and how much they tried their best. What came easy for them and what they had to work hard for was all known to you. So how is it when this son of your's or daughter of your's comes back from being deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan is now a stranger to you?

To the spouse
How many years did you spend with your husband or wife? How many conversations did you have with them indicating what they thought and how they felt? It was enough to base wanting to spend the rest of your life with them. You wanted to build a future with them because they were special to you. You knew what made them laugh, what got them angry and what made them cry. You trusted them enough with your heart to make the commitment to be by their side even though you knew the military could send them away into another nation. You loved them enough to be willing to endure the possibility of being a single parent while they were deployed just as much as you were willing to face transfers to different bases in different states, maybe even different countries. You were willing to accept the risk to their lives knowing each deployment could be their last. With all you had to worry about, how is it that when they came home acting differently, you just assumed they were suddenly someone totally different instead of the same person you loved but now in need of help?

To the clergy
You saw them during services, watched them with their families and children. They were faithful to attend, usually they volunteered to help and you had many conversations with them. When they were deployed, you asked your congregation to pray for them so that God's angels watched over them and brought them home safely. You wrote a special sermon for Memorial Day, 4th of July and Veterans Day thinking of them and the sacrifices they were willing to make for the rest of country. So how is it when they come home needing help, you take no interest in this? Why do you avoid talking to them the way you used to? Why haven't you paid a visit to their home, talked to their families or offered to listen to them as they try to rationalize believing in a loving God but having to endure the hazards of hell in combat? Why haven't you talked to them about the friends they saw die? Why haven't you talked to them about the buddy no longer able to walk? When they sit with their families during services as you look upon them while delivering a sermon on God's love, how can you allow them to suffer with tears in their eyes and not be moved to help them?

To the employers of National Guardsman
You saw them 5 days a week. You knew how hard they worked for you and how dependable they were. You knew what they excelled at and what they struggled to learn how to do. You knew how other employees felt about them the same way you knew how much you could depend on them to give the job all they had. You knew they were even willing to risk their lives in times of crisis serving in the National Guards. As a matter of fact, you even admired their willingness to put the safety of others ahead of themselves. So how is it when they come home, changed by what they went through, you want to fire them instead of help them? Are they that disposable? Do you think that the loyal employee you admired is suddenly someone not worth having around? Ever talk to them and ask them if they need help? Have you ever wondered why they acting so differently at all?

This is the biggest problem the troops come home to. It's not debate about the worthiness of Iraq or Afghanistan. They had a job to do and were sent where they were. It is not about parades a couple of times a year or patriotic ceremonies when they die and it sure isn't about sending a card to any wounded soldier at Walter Reed or Bethesda. It's not about handing a buck to a homeless veteran or donating some worthless clothing to a charity. While all of this matters to them, it would matter a lot more if you stopped and remembered who they were before they left because they are screaming to be seen again by you.

They are waiting for someone to say, "You changed. What's going on inside of you?" with a caring, non-judging donation of your time. They want someone to see them still inside that body now slouched over in the chair carrying the weight of their service on their shoulders. They need someone to know they would not suddenly change into a stranger without reason. So why haven't you?

We can donate money to build monuments to those who serve but if we neglect those who serve, what good does a stone do? We can kick them out of our homes so that we can live a peaceful life again, but what good does that do when the peace could have been restored in our homes with the person we loved still with us instead of walking the streets or sleeping on someone's couch? We can avoid paying attention to them as our lives are shattered by them doing things that are abnormal. We can get angry with yet another nightmare wakes them up instead of having compassion for them and knowing there is something very dark behind the nightmare. We can feel hurt when they are oblivious to us or suddenly act out of character instead of hurting for them and what has caused the change.

They are part of our lives. Troops become veterans. Veterans are rare in this country with less than 10% of the population ever knowing what it is like to put on a uniform and risk your life. They carry it all inside of them and sometimes that weight is just too much for them to carry alone. Where are you? Will you help them carry this load of pain and help them heal? Will you seek the tools to help them or will you put yourself first and just want them out of your lives?

The choice is your's to make. Here's a place to start.

PTSD I Grieve

Posted to Great Americans by NamGuardianAngel on September 11, 2009

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VA budget still not enough, group warns

Paul Sullivan of Veterans for Common Sense, has a habit of getting angry with the way things are. He does it all the time. He filed law suits to get things done and to stop the abuse of our veterans. Because of him things changed at the VA and suicide was no longer something to just pass off. Thank God he does what he does. I would still love to know why on earth he is not on the "news" shows talking about all of this? He's been out there fighting for a very long time and telling the truth. He does not play games and does not do anything other than fight for what our veterans need. We need more people like Paul in this country if we are ever going to get this right for our veterans.

VBA’s claims disaster will be on “60 Minutes” in January, including an interview with Paul Sullivan

VA budget still not enough, group warns

By Rick Maze - Staff writer
Posted : Thursday Dec 10, 2009 15:11:54 EST

The biggest veterans budget in history is not big enough, warns the head of Veterans for Common Sense, a group that closely tracks health care issues for Iraq and Afghanistan veterans.

Paul Sullivan, executive director of the group, said the $109 billion veterans budget for fiscal 2010 — approved Thursday by the House and Senate — “may fall short as much as 45 percent” in covering the Veterans Affairs Department’s added costs of treating veterans of the two ongoing wars.

VA funding is included in HR 3288, a consolidated appropriations bill covering many federal agencies.

Sullivan’s warning is based, in part, on a joint statement from the House and Senate appropriations committees that says the new budget includes money to provide medical care in fiscal 2010 for 419,000 veterans of Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom.
read more here
VA budget still not enough, group warns

Soldiers lack confidentiality in seeking help for PTSD

Maybe this post title should be "who can they trust" when this happens?

Military Rules Said to Hinder Therapy

By JAMES DAO and DAN FROSCH
Published: December 6, 2009
Pfc. Jeffery Meier, who struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder and drug addiction after two deployments to Iraq, got an appointment in August to see a psychiatrist at Fort Carson, Colo.


But when he arrived for his first session, he was asked to sign a waiver explaining that under certain circumstances, including if he admitted violating military laws, his conversations with his therapist might not be kept confidential. He refused to sign.

Private Meier, who is seeking a medical discharge from the Army, was given counseling anyway. But he says he never opened up to his therapist, fearing that actions taken in the heat of battle might be disclosed to prosecutors. “How can you go and talk about wartime problems when you feel that if you mention anything wrong, you’re going to be prosecuted?” he said in an interview.

He is not alone in his wariness. Many soldiers, lawyers and mental health workers say that the rules governing confidentiality of psychotherapist-patient relations in the military are porous. The rules breed suspicion among troops toward therapists, those people say, reducing the effectiveness of treatment and complicating the Pentagon’s efforts to encourage personnel to seek care.

The problem with the military rules, experts say, is that they do not safeguard the confidentiality of mental health communications and records as strongly as federal rules of evidence for civilians. Both systems say therapists should report patients when they seem a threat to themselves or to others. But the military rules include additional exceptions that could be applied to a wide range of suspected infractions, experts say.
read more here
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12/07/us/07therapists.html?_r=1

This adds to the more barriers to seeking help. It's not bad enough they were first assaulted when they sought help for "not being able to get over it" or being a "slacker" or ridiculed for being weak, now we find out they have been told that what they say in therapy can come back to bite them. This is not a good thing. How is it that civilians end up having so many rights to protect their privacy but the troops have nothing? How can they expect the men and women serving to be honest with therapists when nothing is held in confidence?

When I get requests for help, they are fully aware I am a blogger but they are also fully aware what they tell me will not show up anywhere. The rules for a Chaplain are simple. I only have to report if they are a danger to themselves or to someone else. Anything else is between them and me. It is not my job to judge them or diagnosis them. It is my job to help them begin to heal and understand what is happening inside of them. Since I cannot help them get a claim approved or medicate them, whatever they tell me is taken on face value. After all, they know I can't do much for them unless they are honest with me. In turn, I can't help them if they do not trust me. It has taken a lot of years to get to the point where they know they can. How can the military ever begin to think the soldiers will trust them when they refuse to prove they can be trusted?

PTSD and redeployed:Whittier Family's story

Whittier family's wounds of war compounded by multiple deployments
By Bethania Palma Markus, Staff Writer
Posted: 12/06/2009 06:01:54 AM PST
WHITTIER - Rossana Cambran choked back tears as she recalled watching her son, Arturo Cambron Jr., suffer a flashback.

The now-26-year-old Army soldier was at home on leave in between combat tours in Iraq. He had just returned from a night out with friends when something triggered a memory from a not-so-distant but traumatic past.

Suddenly, she said, her third of four children lost touch with reality and thought he was back in a war zone thousands of miles away.

"He was on the ground outside acting like he was on a walkie talkie, giving coordinates to his buddies," the 53-year-old Whittier woman said. "He was yelling really loud."

The next day, she said, Arturo Jr. told her flashbacks are commonplace on his military base, and some experts believe the Cambron family's experience could be a harbinger of things to come.

The current wars in the Middle East have stretched on past the eight-year mark, making them the longest major conflicts in recent U.S. history to be fought without a draft.

With a limited number of soldiers doing all the fighting, an increasing number have been deployed multiple times into combat. But now that the war in Iraq is winding down and President Obama has set a timetable for a looming 30,000-troop surge in Afghanistan, some experts said the country is not prepared to cope

Rossana Cambron holds a childhood picture of her son Arturo Jr., Thursday night, December 3, 2009 in her Whittier home. Mrs. Cambron says her son, who is on his second tour of combat duty in Iraq, was already showing signs of PTSD with flashback episodes after his first tour. (SGVN/Staff Photo by Sarah Reingewirtz)when soldiers battling post traumatic stress disorder compounded by multiple combat tours start returning en masse.
read more here
http://www.whittierdailynews.com/news/ci_13939753

Tested by tragedy at Fort Hood

Tested by tragedy, Fort Hood family of civilians and soldiers deserve Texan of the Year honor

12:00 AM CST on Sunday, December 6, 2009

Heroes were at every turn during Fort Hood shootings.

That short-and-sweet headline sums up how I feel about the soldiers and civilians stationed at the most populous U.S. military base in the world.

They are my 2009 Dallas Morning News Texan of the Year: The Fort Hood Family.

Here's why: On Nov. 5, the day a roguish Army major went on a massive killing spree, these valiant men and women showed their true colors.

They collectively turned a chaotic tragedy into a courageous triumph of human will and sacrifice.

We can point to Sgt. Kim Munley, the tough civilian officer who rushed to the aid of those scrambling to get away from Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan's murderous line of fire.

Munley exchanged gunfire with Hasan, dropping him to the ground as she took shots to both legs and a wrist.

She's a gutsy hero.

So, too, is Mark Todd, a second civilian officer credited with shooting Hasan.
read more here
Tested by tragedy