Foolish pride and wise prayers

Foolish pride and wise prayers
by Chaplain Kathie


I listen to veterans problems and the cries for help from their families as I have been for over 25 years. Hearing what they are going thru makes my own problems seem so tiny. Whenever I listen to them or read their stories in some news site article, they take me back to a dark time when I was lost, alone, had no place to turn to for support and had to learn how to save my husband on my own. I remember it all a little too well and that is what's behind what I do.

When we read about reports centered around PTSD, we find it easy to assume all is being done to take care of our veterans but the truth is only a fraction of what is needed is being done. Less than half of the veterans needing help with PTSD seek help. Consider that when you think of the backlog of claims, the influx of veterans trying to find help in the VA hospitals across the country and going to organizations springing up in all areas. Less than half.

There are still some veterans with no understanding of what PTSD is, others still think of it as a sign of weakness, a thing of shame and even more cannot find the strength within them to seek help at all. Families fall apart, like mine almost did. Veterans end up homeless like mine almost did. Hope slips away and I remember it all a little too well.

This is why I do it. This is why I spend all these hours working for them. This is also why I cannot walk away. It would be as if I walked away from my own husband. I wouldn't do it then and I won't do it now.

Yesterday I sent out an email to some people online begging for help. I am in deep financial trouble. Pride prevented me from asking for help most of the time. Maybe it was the words someone said about me a while ago saying that if I was any good at what I did, then I wouldn't have to ask for help at all. Maybe it's because I've been doing this for so long that by now, I even believe that type of attitude is right. I don't know. I do know the veterans I help cannot afford to donate money to keep me going and I have no connections. My work is used all over the country, provided for free, and the people using my videos, copying my entries on the blog and sharing what I've learned, for whatever reason, find it valuable enough to use but not enough to feel the need to pay for any of it. I usually wonder how they would feel if no one wanted to pay them for their time or their help.

Here's the email I sent out

I have a new video for veterans and the troops with PTSD. I made this video because I am flooded with requests for help by them and their families. None of what we're seeing in PTSD has to happen. We will continue to see the increase in suicides, attempted suicides and devastated families until they get the support they really need to understand what PTSD is and how to cope.

Heaven Knows They Need You

Posted to Great Americans by NamGuardianAngel on December 14, 2009

Click to Play | View Details

I have created over 30 videos and have over 18,000 posts on my blogs dedicated to our veterans. I have done this for free since 1982. Up until two years ago, I had paying jobs to support the work I do on behalf of our veterans. Since then, it has been a financial nightmare adding to my stress. Yesterday, my electricity was shut off and the money to pay to turn it back on had to be taken from a drained bank account. I am in desperate need of financial help. If you can make a donation of even $10.00 dollars plus pass this request on, it will help me in this dire time of need.

There is a PayPal button on my blog you can use to make a donation. If you use this means, your donation will not be deductible but I will be able to receive it fast. There is also an address with the IFOC so that you can make a tax deductible donation via mail. If you value the work I do, then please, help me to be able to keep doing it. I cannot continue without you.

All these years, I prayed to God for help. I found it very hard to ask people for help even though when God answers our prayers, He usually sends other people to answer the prayers. When they don't show up, we blame Him. I couldn't blame Him. I knew it had to be me.

Maybe I'm just not good enough at what I do, I'll think from time to time as I struggle to find reasons to go on when no one is showing up to help me. I came up with all kinds of reasons until Thursday night when our electricity was shut off. Then I couldn't stop crying.

All these years of helping strangers and no one was coming to help me. Friday it dawned on me that no one knew how bad it was for us financially or that I needed help at all. Maybe it was my pride preventing me from asking or maybe I just assumed no one would help me. Yes, I've been beaten down that far over the years that it becomes hard to believe anyone would think I was worth helping.

When we do things for the right reasons but end up greeted by Satan's foot standing in our way, we keep trying to get past it but we are tiny alone. We need help from others to get by. If we are afraid no one will think we are worth helping if they knew the truth, then we not only suffer needlessly, we never really give of ourselves. When we share our own struggles, when we show our own doubts, when we share that we are not prefect in anything or self-sustaining "I don't need anyone" rocks, then we are not helping anyone really.

How can you tell someone you understand their pain if you share none of your own? How can you offer them any hope of getting past it if you never show them where you were before you got to where you are? You can't and this is why many are not trusted enough.

My prayer was always to help veterans like my husband and their families. My prayer was answered. I was provided with every word needed, every thought, compassion that does not end and an endless supply of matches from God when I get burnt out. When I prayed for financial help it did come from time to time but it was a constant struggle. I've asked from time to time on the blog, but when I did, nothing came in to help me. So I tried again but this time asking people I've been contacted by asking me for help in the past.

I asked for $10.00 thinking I surely would be worth $10.00 to someone out there. I was shocked when I received more than I asked for from a couple of people. How could they think I was worth so much when others can't think I'm worth anything?

When we get beaten down so low, it's easier for us to think of ourselves as worth-less than we were when we were the ones doing the work, doing the helping, feeling oh so needed instead of needy. When you look it all of this the right way, then you understand that if you don't look down on people you help, then you should not look down on yourself when you need help as well.

Pray when you need help that God will send you the help you need but pray with an open heart and stop being ashamed you need to ask for help. Pride will get you nowhere. God will see the humbleness within you when you admit you are only human and need others to help you so that you can help them in return. I can't help anyone if my electricity gets shut off again and I can't do this work online. I can't help anyone if I have no place to live. I surely can't keep creating the videos if I can't buy music to use. Just as I no longer travel the country because I cannot afford it, I would have to stop answering the phone when they need me. How can I be so willing to help but unwilling to ask for help when I need it? Lesson for the day is: What good will your pride do you when you fall flat on your face and still refuse to ask for help? Set your pride aside and see your prayers answered.

Military study shows increase in suicide attempts, PTSD symptoms

Is it supposed to make me feel good that I was right all this time when the outcome didn't change? What a loser I am when I couldn't get anyone to really listen and do something about this and they had to suffer for what we failed to do.

Military study shows increase in suicide attempts, PTSD symptoms
By Seth Robbins, Stars and Stripes
Mideast edition, Friday, December 18, 2009

A wide-ranging Department of Defense survey revealed the rate of servicemembers attempting suicide has doubled in recent years, coinciding with an increase in those reporting symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and those abusing prescription drugs.

The study, which surveyed more than 28,500 active-duty personnel on a number of health issues, showed that 2 percent of servicemembers surveyed said they attempted suicide in the past year. In the 2005 study, only 1 percent of respondents said they attempted suicide.

“We’ve seen increases in suicide rates over the last several years,” said Robert Bray, the study’s senior program director. “I think this data is consistent with what we are seeing there.”

The 2008 Survey of Health Related Behaviors, released late Wednesday, was conducted by researchers with the Research Triangle Institute. It was last taken in 2005.

The percentage of servicemembers admitting to PTSD-like symptoms rose from 7 percent in 2005 to 11 percent in 2008. The largest jumps came from soldiers and Marines.
read more here
http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=66744

Dignity and respect A Soldier’s right

Dignity and respect: A Soldier’s right; improving morale, readiness, commitment
By Lt. Col. John Atkins, Deputy IG, III Corps
Facebook Digg Delicious December 17, 2009 News
One thing that will never change in the U.S. Army is the fact that all Soldiers have the right to be treated with dignity and respect. Treating Soldiers with the proper respect they deserve may directly influence how well they perform their duties. AR 600-20, Army Command Policy, directs that all Soldiers will be treated with dignity and respect. Improved unit readiness, better morale, greater commitment to unit and mission, increased trust and unit cohesion, and treating others as they should be treated are essential in our Army.

Unfortunately, the IG office frequently receives complaints from Soldiers who report being mistreated or disrespected by their leadership. In many instances these Soldiers had committed some type of offense and were about to be, or were already, punished for that offense. Regardless of their culpability for their misdeed or of the disciplinary actions planned, these Soldiers are still entitled to be treated with dignity and respect.

Consider a Soldier who tests positive on an urinanalysis, receives a Field Grade Article 15, and is waiting to be separated from service. During this pre-separation period, it is inappropriate, and a violation of AR 600-20, for anyone to intentionally degrade, humiliate or disgrace this Soldier by calling him a “dirtbag,” “drugee,” or any other derogatory word.
read more here
http://www.forthoodsentinel.com/story.php?id=2716

2 million men and women have shouldered deployments

A million soldiers deployed since 9/11

By Michelle Tan - Staff writer
Posted : Friday Dec 18, 2009 14:35:33 EST

Eight years since the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks, American troops have deployed almost 3.3 million times to Iraq and Afghanistan, according to Defense Department data.

The numbers, as of October 2009, show that more than 2 million men and women have shouldered those deployments, with 793,000 of them deploying more than once.

Here’s a look at how the numbers break down, by service.
go here for the numbers
http://www.armytimes.com/news/2009/12/army_deployments_121809w/

Wise men would still be lost if they had help like this

Three wise men (kings) prayed for a sign the deliverer, the answer to their prayers had finally show up. They checked and rechecked their charts and knew what to look for so that they would be ready when the evidence was there. When the star started to shine in the sky, they knew they had to follow it because it was exactly what they had been waiting for. All the evidence told them they were right so without hesitation, each left their own part of the world, traveled their own road, at their own pace, but managed to get to the place where they would find the answer to their prayers. Christ was born and they had arrived to greet him.

Ever wonder if they didn't have a clue what the star would mean? Ever wonder if they never bothered to look up and see the star? That's the biggest problem of all. It's not that help and the answer to prayers is not out there. It's just that people don't have a clue what to look for or how to get there from here. Sorry the DOD and the VA have yet to figure out how to get up a star to shine the way. What we do have is an archive filled with 30 years of research and news reports, letters to the editor printed in local papers, divorce filings, arrest reports and the conclusion of research papers in most colleges plus a ton of thesis papers. We also have the living veterans from combat going back to WWII, although few of them remain.

So what's the problem? Why are we still doing studies, funding research on what was already done instead of taking what is already known and then taking it all forward? Wouldn't that be the best way to get to where we need to go? Veterans are waiting for what they were promised. Families are waiting for hope and what they need. The facts are waiting to be used so that people stop suffering needlessly. Isn't it time someone gave the road map to the DOD and the VA to get them where they need to be?

NONE OF THIS IS NEW and there are too few new programs to justify the waste of time and money repeating it all over again.

They need medication and I won't argue against it. It cannot be the answer to everything though. They need therapy. They are getting it.

They need their families support as well as being involved in their care. This isn't happening all over the country. It's only available in certain parts of the country. Too many mental health providers think they shouldn't have to waste their time with the families instead of considering the likelihood the veteran is holding back instead of being totally honest and the instead of the family telling the provider what is really going on with them, they trust the person needing help instead. A veteran has a hard time saying they haven't had sex in years when they see Viagra commercials on every program they watch. They will minimize sleeping problems in general just as they will minimize what is being done to the family simply because they are oblivious to it.

They need the support of the community to honor their service but above that, understand what their service did to some of them and not fear it. Crimes in PTSD veterans are not what you think. Considering how few of them are actually involved in crimes, that's pretty obvious. They need jobs and friends that will really listen to them talk and be there for them. They need them to be aware of what PTSD and how they can help.

Most of the time, when people feel lost they just need a little help to get to where they are going. If they pull over on the side of the road and keep getting wrong directions, they are more lost and finding it very hard to find hope enough to ask for help again. That's what we're seeing today. So as we celebrate the day Christ was born, think about the wise men and the star and finally, once and for all, remember the veterans are feeling lost because the signs are not clear showing them were they need to go or how to get there from here.