Nancy Kerrigan's father dies; brother charged in attack
By Milton Valencia, Peter Schworm, and John R. Ellement, Globe Staff
WOBURN -- The brother of Olympics skating star Nancy Kerrigan was ordered held on $10,000 cash bail today, charged with assaulting their father, who was found unresponsive in his Stoneham home early Sunday morning and later died, authorities said.
"He [Mark Kerrigan] stated that he wanted to use the phone and his father would not let him,'' according to a Stoneham police report filed in court."He said that he struggled with his father and put his hands around his father's neck and his father fell to the floor. He said that his father was faking it.''
The death of 70-year-old Daniel Kerrigan remains under investigation, and police said this morning that his son, 45-year-old Mark D. Kerrigan, has not been charged with murder. The cause of death for the elder Kerrigan is undetermined pending an autopsy by the state medical examiner's office.
Mark Kerrigan pleaded not guilty today to all charges and was ordered held on $10,000 cash bail. He was described by his attorney as an unemployed plumber and an Army veteran with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder who regularly receives counseling.
read more here
http://www.boston.com/news/local/breaking_news/2010/01/brother_of_nanc.html
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Marine found way in foster family, death near home
Marine found way in foster family, death near home
Serviceman was killed at party; crashers charged
By Justin Fenton justin.fenton@baltsun.com
January 27, 2010
In Lennice Hudson's home, a refuge for foster children, Darius Ray found stability.
He became a track star at his Gaithersburg high school, graduated, flirted with college and ultimately joined the Marines. Between his foster brothers and sisters and Hudson's two biological children, he had a family, one he would join every week for dinner.
On Sunday, the family was planning to celebrate his 20th birthday.
"I love you and I want a red velvet cake," he texted Hudson in anticipation.
But Ray would not make it to his own celebration. He was fatally stabbed in Northeast Baltimore the day before at a party thrown by friends.
Three American service members or former service members have been slain in Baltimore since Dec. 20, more than the number of U.S. troops who have died in combat in Iraq during the same period.
read more here
Marine found way in foster family, death near home
Serviceman was killed at party; crashers charged
By Justin Fenton justin.fenton@baltsun.com
January 27, 2010
In Lennice Hudson's home, a refuge for foster children, Darius Ray found stability.
He became a track star at his Gaithersburg high school, graduated, flirted with college and ultimately joined the Marines. Between his foster brothers and sisters and Hudson's two biological children, he had a family, one he would join every week for dinner.
On Sunday, the family was planning to celebrate his 20th birthday.
"I love you and I want a red velvet cake," he texted Hudson in anticipation.
But Ray would not make it to his own celebration. He was fatally stabbed in Northeast Baltimore the day before at a party thrown by friends.
Three American service members or former service members have been slain in Baltimore since Dec. 20, more than the number of U.S. troops who have died in combat in Iraq during the same period.
read more here
Marine found way in foster family, death near home
Monday, January 25, 2010
Heads up on posting for a few days
A few people have wondered why I have not been posting as much lately so I thought I'd take the time now and fill everyone in. Friday I was attending a conference on working with Iraq and Afghanistan veterans. Saturday I had to work. Yes, work. Most of you know I have been without a steady paycheck for two years. The beginning of the month there was an ad for help moving a store from one location to another. I went to the job fair, along with 500 other people for this temporary job. I was lucky enough to have been one of temp workers hired.
Saturday and today, I fully understood what it was like to no longer be in my 20's, or 30's or 40's. This "old lady" was up and down on ladders, carrying stock and down on my knees cleaning shelves. While I held my own with 20 years olds, it was obvious they were moving a lot faster than me at the end of the day. I am working again tomorrow. On Wednesday I have a presentation to give on PTSD and then Thursday I have off. So between now and then, there will not be very many posts. I'm just too tired to read anything right.
My heart is tugged because I want to spend my days on veterans but I still have bills to pay. While being a Chaplain is the most spiritually rewarding thing I could imagine doing for the rest of my life, it does not pay very well. Donations are hard to come by and it seems everyone has their hands out because of the great need so please try to understand that.
Saturday and today, I fully understood what it was like to no longer be in my 20's, or 30's or 40's. This "old lady" was up and down on ladders, carrying stock and down on my knees cleaning shelves. While I held my own with 20 years olds, it was obvious they were moving a lot faster than me at the end of the day. I am working again tomorrow. On Wednesday I have a presentation to give on PTSD and then Thursday I have off. So between now and then, there will not be very many posts. I'm just too tired to read anything right.
My heart is tugged because I want to spend my days on veterans but I still have bills to pay. While being a Chaplain is the most spiritually rewarding thing I could imagine doing for the rest of my life, it does not pay very well. Donations are hard to come by and it seems everyone has their hands out because of the great need so please try to understand that.
Thousands of vets could get benefits upgrade for PTSD
Thousands of vets could get benefits upgrade
By KIMBERLY HEFLING
The Associated Press
Monday, January 25, 2010; 3:59 PM
WASHINGTON -- A military review could bring millions of dollars in benefits to thousands of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans discharged with post-traumatic stress disorder.
The military has agreed to review the records of recent veterans discharged with PTSD to decide whether they were improperly denied benefits.
The agreement stems from a judge's order in a class action lawsuit originally filed by seven combat veterans. They alleged the military illegally denied benefits to those discharged, at least in part, because of the disorder during a six-year period that ended Oct. 14, 2008.
read more here
Thousands of vets could get benefits upgrade
By KIMBERLY HEFLING
The Associated Press
Monday, January 25, 2010; 3:59 PM
WASHINGTON -- A military review could bring millions of dollars in benefits to thousands of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans discharged with post-traumatic stress disorder.
The military has agreed to review the records of recent veterans discharged with PTSD to decide whether they were improperly denied benefits.
The agreement stems from a judge's order in a class action lawsuit originally filed by seven combat veterans. They alleged the military illegally denied benefits to those discharged, at least in part, because of the disorder during a six-year period that ended Oct. 14, 2008.
read more here
Thousands of vets could get benefits upgrade
Sunday, January 24, 2010
For better or worse, life changes all of us
For better or worse, life changes all of us
by
Chaplain Kathie
Every event in your life goes into who you are at this moment in time. You change as events happen. Some events are good. The first time you fall in love, graduating college, the first grown up job, marriage, having children, watching your children take their first steps and then witnessing the changes in them as events happen in their lives. Bad events come too. The end of your first love affair, graduating college and understanding from that point on, you are on your own two feet to make it or break it, losing your first real job when you have rent to pay, marriages that are not happy, children born with birth defects, watching your parents reach the end of their lives and you know, things will never be the same again. These events, pretty much we all go through and these events are part of us.
No one leaves this earth untouched or unchanged by living lives.
Sometimes the events are not very important on the surface. You walk into a grocery store, having a really bad day, feeling as if you are invisible, then a clerk at your local Publix smiles, talks to you and makes you feel special. When you leave the store, you feel differently about yourself and about other people. That change in your mood is carried on when you return home. Instead of thinking your life sucks and taking it out on your family, you have a nice night and enjoy their company. Had the clerk not been so nice to you when you needed it, things could have turned out a lot differently.
Sometimes events are very important. From the moment they happen, you know deep inside yourself, you will never be the same again. You went to work one day then a stranger decides it's the day he will try to kill others. You drive down the same road heading to work and it is the same day someone decides to get behind the wheel of their car drunk and you were unfortunate enough to have gotten in their way. We face these changes unwillingly. We find it easier to understand what happens in "normal" life and how it can all change in a moment, change how we feel about ourselves, other people, our families and our futures as well as how we feel about a relationship with God, yet we cannot bring ourselves to understand changes when someone puts themselves in harms way willingly every day as the job they do.
We don't see a police officer as a person with a life, family, friends, hopes and dreams, another human changed by what they encounter everyday. We don't see a firefighter changed by one too many fires where they have had to pull unrecognizable bodies out once too often. We don't see an EMT after they have had to collect the remains from a roadway after another accident when a drunk driver has killed a family. Above all, we don't see what comes when men and women return from combat.
All humans, just like us, facing the same troubles and triumphs we face but they see what we pray to God we never see with our own eyes. The death and destruction they witness weighs heavily on their soul. No one ever leaves traumatic events unchanged. Sometimes they push it in the backs of their memories and just move on. Other times they find themselves unable to just push it away and they see the person they were slip away.
For everyone trauma does not have to mean that there is no hope even though there is no hope of going back to the way you were before. It does however mean that with the right response to it, you can be better than you were before.
Even for the older veterans of combat, we have seen remarkable changes in them when they are finally treated for the life changing traumas they endured. They learn how to make it through the day without getting drunk, without having to have a gun at their side at all times, without having to push everyone away and without hating themselves for what they had to do. We have seen them learn to trust again enough so that they open up and show how human they are. We have also seen the greatness of their compassion change the lives of others. Nothing about PTSD is hopeless.
Once people get past wanting what is not possible they can enjoy what is achievable. It is not possible to be the way they were before any more than it is possible for anyone to turn back the clock to their perfect day where all was well with the world. What we can do is to take what has come into our lives, good and bad, and then make peace with it so that we can be happier. If you have PTSD, the nightmares may stay but they will not be as strong. The flashbacks will come but they will not happen as often and you will break out of it sooner. PTSD is not the end of you but the beginning of who you can become with the right help to get you there.
If you are seeking help make sure you are addressing all of you. You mind, body and soul, as well as your family. They can either help you heal or they can make it worse if they do not understand. Even the best psychologist can't break down the wall of pain if your family is handing you bricks because of what they do not understand. Make sure your psychologist is fully educated on what PTSD is so they will not misdiagnose or guess at how best to treat you, You wouldn't go to a dentist for a broken arm so you should not go to a doctor that does not specialize in PTSD.
Find support groups where you can feel as if you can be honest and open. Use your intuition and keep looking until you find the right one. The same goes for medication. If you are on medication that makes you feel worse or is not helping, then talk to your doctor so they can find the right one for you to be on. What works for friend may not work for you. Make sure you get therapy and not just medication. Talking is very important in healing.
All of this will all work better if you understand what PTSD is and make peace with the fact you have it because you are human exposed to events that were life changing. Know why you feel the way you do and why you react the way you do so that you can focus on doing something about it instead of spending your energy trying to hide it. The people in your life know you changed even though they can't understand why.
Life changes all of us but what we do in response to it will change the lives we live from this point on.
by
Chaplain Kathie
Every event in your life goes into who you are at this moment in time. You change as events happen. Some events are good. The first time you fall in love, graduating college, the first grown up job, marriage, having children, watching your children take their first steps and then witnessing the changes in them as events happen in their lives. Bad events come too. The end of your first love affair, graduating college and understanding from that point on, you are on your own two feet to make it or break it, losing your first real job when you have rent to pay, marriages that are not happy, children born with birth defects, watching your parents reach the end of their lives and you know, things will never be the same again. These events, pretty much we all go through and these events are part of us.
No one leaves this earth untouched or unchanged by living lives.
Sometimes the events are not very important on the surface. You walk into a grocery store, having a really bad day, feeling as if you are invisible, then a clerk at your local Publix smiles, talks to you and makes you feel special. When you leave the store, you feel differently about yourself and about other people. That change in your mood is carried on when you return home. Instead of thinking your life sucks and taking it out on your family, you have a nice night and enjoy their company. Had the clerk not been so nice to you when you needed it, things could have turned out a lot differently.
Sometimes events are very important. From the moment they happen, you know deep inside yourself, you will never be the same again. You went to work one day then a stranger decides it's the day he will try to kill others. You drive down the same road heading to work and it is the same day someone decides to get behind the wheel of their car drunk and you were unfortunate enough to have gotten in their way. We face these changes unwillingly. We find it easier to understand what happens in "normal" life and how it can all change in a moment, change how we feel about ourselves, other people, our families and our futures as well as how we feel about a relationship with God, yet we cannot bring ourselves to understand changes when someone puts themselves in harms way willingly every day as the job they do.
We don't see a police officer as a person with a life, family, friends, hopes and dreams, another human changed by what they encounter everyday. We don't see a firefighter changed by one too many fires where they have had to pull unrecognizable bodies out once too often. We don't see an EMT after they have had to collect the remains from a roadway after another accident when a drunk driver has killed a family. Above all, we don't see what comes when men and women return from combat.
All humans, just like us, facing the same troubles and triumphs we face but they see what we pray to God we never see with our own eyes. The death and destruction they witness weighs heavily on their soul. No one ever leaves traumatic events unchanged. Sometimes they push it in the backs of their memories and just move on. Other times they find themselves unable to just push it away and they see the person they were slip away.
For everyone trauma does not have to mean that there is no hope even though there is no hope of going back to the way you were before. It does however mean that with the right response to it, you can be better than you were before.
Even for the older veterans of combat, we have seen remarkable changes in them when they are finally treated for the life changing traumas they endured. They learn how to make it through the day without getting drunk, without having to have a gun at their side at all times, without having to push everyone away and without hating themselves for what they had to do. We have seen them learn to trust again enough so that they open up and show how human they are. We have also seen the greatness of their compassion change the lives of others. Nothing about PTSD is hopeless.
Once people get past wanting what is not possible they can enjoy what is achievable. It is not possible to be the way they were before any more than it is possible for anyone to turn back the clock to their perfect day where all was well with the world. What we can do is to take what has come into our lives, good and bad, and then make peace with it so that we can be happier. If you have PTSD, the nightmares may stay but they will not be as strong. The flashbacks will come but they will not happen as often and you will break out of it sooner. PTSD is not the end of you but the beginning of who you can become with the right help to get you there.
If you are seeking help make sure you are addressing all of you. You mind, body and soul, as well as your family. They can either help you heal or they can make it worse if they do not understand. Even the best psychologist can't break down the wall of pain if your family is handing you bricks because of what they do not understand. Make sure your psychologist is fully educated on what PTSD is so they will not misdiagnose or guess at how best to treat you, You wouldn't go to a dentist for a broken arm so you should not go to a doctor that does not specialize in PTSD.
Find support groups where you can feel as if you can be honest and open. Use your intuition and keep looking until you find the right one. The same goes for medication. If you are on medication that makes you feel worse or is not helping, then talk to your doctor so they can find the right one for you to be on. What works for friend may not work for you. Make sure you get therapy and not just medication. Talking is very important in healing.
All of this will all work better if you understand what PTSD is and make peace with the fact you have it because you are human exposed to events that were life changing. Know why you feel the way you do and why you react the way you do so that you can focus on doing something about it instead of spending your energy trying to hide it. The people in your life know you changed even though they can't understand why.
Life changes all of us but what we do in response to it will change the lives we live from this point on.
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