Taking a few days off

Today is our 25th anniversary and I'm taking a few days off. I need it and I pray to God that when I get back on, the next days will take away wanting to cry all the time. I can't believe I've gone this long without smoking but Lord it's hard. I can't sleep when I should sleep. I end up sleeping during the day instead and I don't know who I am anymore. My friends tell me that the loss of "me" will be replaced by something close to the "me" I used to know but different because the chemicals will return to normal balance. So far, I don't like me very much right now. I quit smoking on September 12. I thought I'd be a lot better by now.


Yet even with all of this I can still see the hand of God in this marriage of mine. 25 years! So many times I thought it would end, but God kept giving me what I needed to make it day to day when PTSD was doing it's best to claim my husband. God gave him an amazing character that still allowed his compassion to come out, reminding me, the man I loved was still there.

So many times I wanted to give up trying to make sure other families made it too, like I'm going through right now, but God always reminds me of why I do what I do. Nothing is hopeless unless we stop trying.

I wish I could be more "Chaplain" like right now. I'm only human, struggle with faith and wondering what to do just like everyone else. I don't have all the answers, run out of patience and yes, allow fear to come into my life, but these days of darkness with Satan's foot in the way, do pass. I pray when I come back on, these dark days are behind me so that I can get back to focusing on my work and not myself.

Stolen Valor or something else

We can't be sure what is going on right now or what was behind it. Why would anyone in their right mind want to do something like this especially when it involves something so soul reaching it can cause even the hardest hearts to weep? This is about the Traveling Wall and Vietnam, men and women treated like crap, but never gave up on us. They served with strangers they ended up living with as family. This is about Vietnam veterans honoring the lives lost and lives forgotten but someone is now accused to pretending to be one of them with the wall itself? I hope this gets cleared up fast because there will be more pain laid on the hearts of the Vietnam veterans for each day this goes on.

Stolen Valor and the "Wall That Heals"
by Larry Stimeling, Staff Writer
James Richard Lyons is a hero. He joined the Navy in 1964 at age 17. James went through some of the military' most rigorous training schools, including;
SEAL Training.
Force Recon.
Jungle Warfare Training in Panama.
Special weapons in Quantico. James served 4 tours in Vietnam and attained the rank of GySgt. He received a Silver Star and a Purple Heart. That is a lot for a four year enlistment. But there is a problem, A BIG PROBLEM!
Read More >

Disney to give day pass for volunteer work

Disney launching "Give a day, get a day" promotion
posted by Jason Garcia on Sep 29, 2009 8:19:33 AM

After a year in which it let guests into its theme parks for free on their birthdays, the Walt Disney Co. will hand out more free tickets in 2010 — but only after making people earn them.

Disney on Tuesday launched a new promotional campaign, “Give a Day, Get a Disney Day,” under which it will distribute 1 million one-day, one-park tickets to people who volunteer at select charities.

With the program, which succeeds the company’s “Free on Your Birthday” campaign this year, Disney is continuing its strategy of using discounts to lure vacationers amid a challenging economic climate that is expected to stretch well into next year. But it also marrying the approach with a socially conscious message.

“The thrust of this program is really about inspiring people to consider and participate in volunteerism, with the hope that that will become a way of life for them,” said Jay Rasulo, chairman of Walt Disney Parks and Resorts. “We think, in this case, that doing good for our communities is good business.”

Beginning Jan. 1, guests will be able to sign up for volunteer work through a Disney website. People will be able to choose from service opportunities provided by HandsOn Network, a sprawling volunteer network that links volunteers with more than 70,000 non-profits around the country.
read more here
Disney launching Give a day, get a day promotion

Internet connects Vietnam veteran to fellow serviceman

Submitted photo Navy Corpsman 3rd Class Gary Graves as he appeared in South Vietnam, where he was stationed from October 1968 to October 1969 during the Vietnam War.

Internet connects Vietnam veteran to fellow serviceman
By: Greg Bischof - Texarkana Gazette - Published: 09/29/2009
The Internet has provided a local Vietnam veteran a chance to find out what happened to a wounded man he met during the war.

Although it happened more than 40 years ago, former Navy Corpsman 3rd Class Gary Graves can still remember an action of then-Marine Corps 2nd Lt. Brian Riley.

“He was gripping my hand and he kept asking me if he was going to lose his leg,” said Graves, a Texarkana, Ark., resident. “I told him he wasn’t going to lose his leg and he told me ‘thank you.’”
read more here
Internet connects Vietnam veteran to fellow serviceman

If Indianapolis thinks 1 in 8 will end up with PTSD, what will they think about the real number?

The real number is one out of three, a third of the troops we send. That's on the tame side because this does not factor in re-deployments increase the risk by 50% for each time sent back. One out of eight? Not even close and that is the most frightening part of all.

Walk raises awareness for soldiers' disorder
Updated: Sep 27, 2009 6:47 PM EDT


Indianapolis - A walk Sunday raised awareness of a life-threatening condition facing soldiers at home.

In honor of the troops who have marched courageously into war, a crowd of supporters marched downtown to help them fight the next battle many face once they return home.

"One in eight are predicted to have some sort of stress disorder, particularly post-traumatic stress," said Cami Pond, Indiana State Medical Association Alliance.

"We're here today to talk about PTSD. That hidden injury that is out there that we don't see, but it's so prevalent," said Major General R. Martin Umbarger.

Being rocked by explosions, death, excruciating pain and debilitating injuries can lead to post-traumatic stress disorder, where the anxiety and fear of combat is carried into civilian life.

"The ultimate problem with post-traumatic stress disorder is feeling like they cannot cope and, as a result, take their own life," said J. James Rohack M.D., American Medical Association president.
read more here
http://www.wthr.com/Global/story.asp?S=11207442

Video Gallery

Walk for troops
2:18


Tomorrow is our anniversary. 25 years married with PTSD. We're living proof it is not hopeless and they can live with PTSD. This also means that we've been dealing with PTSD for longer than that. In 1978 there were already studies done. Most of what we read today has already been done, collecting dust in researchers stalks, in college achieves and obscure groups with friends in right places to hand out research cash. We know the drill well. It's almost as if they think the human mind, body and spirit has changed so drastically all the research already done is no useless. Nothing has changed. The original design is the same. Warfare, if anything is a little less horrific because they are not doing face to fact combat hacking off limbs at such close range they could hear the bones snap. Now they are not as close, but the bombs blow up more people a lot quicker.

We will see more and more coming home like my husband did, like all veterans did, and keep wondering when someone will help them. We will keep wondering because no one really paid attention the first time we were here with all of this. The death count goes up, families still fall apart, veterans end up homeless and in jail, but we dare to wonder why.

After Seven Hour Standoff War Veteran Surrenders

After Seven Hour Standoff War Veteran Surrenders
WXIN-TV, Indianapolis
Fox59.com
11:42 AM EDT, September 29, 2009
After barricading himself in an apartment, a war veteran believe to be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has surrendered to police.

Officers say they responded to a disturbance call around 4:00 am Tuesday. Once they arrived at the Lockefield Gardens Apartment complex they found broken glass and blood leading to the apartment.

The blood led to the apartment of a man in his mid twenties who had barricaded himself in. IMPD called a negotiator to the scene knowing the man was armed with ammunition and one or two guns.
go here for more
http://www.fox59.com/wxin-swat-callout-downtown-092909,0,5103736.story

Operation Open Arms: taking on the VA's work

Operation Open Arms: taking on the VA's work?
By Maggie Crane, WINK News

Story Created: Sep 28, 2009 at 6:08 PM EDT

Story Updated: Sep 28, 2009 at 6:27 PM EDT

Southwest Fla - Its job is to help veterans get the medical care they need, but a local non-profit says the VA is passing its work onto volunteers.

Since March Operation Open Arms has branched out from providing free vacations to veterans to something much more important -- getting free care for soldiers suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Founder John Bunch says word is spreading so fast that now the VA is calling on him for help.

His boat is his second home. Former Marine John Bunch often uses it to treat soldiers to a little R&R, but the captain soon noticed a new battle brewing back home: soldiers fighting PTSD and not getting the help they need. So Bunch rallied his own troops.

"There's no co-pay, there's no deductible, and we have 21 licensed, mental health pros that do this pro-bono," Bunch says.

Bunch says the goal was to offer an alternative for soldiers; not take over for the VA. He says a recent voice message on his machine is cause for concern.

"We were given your numbers through the VA Outpatient Clinic and were wondering if you could give us a call back," the caller says.
go here for more and for video
http://www.winknews.com/news/local/62426317.html

Two cents left, need donations

Things finally got cleared up today. If you make a donation to me from now on, please send it to the
IFOC at
PO Box 5922
Saginaw, MI 48603

I am a Charter of the IFOC. Their tax exempt number is 38-344-6353
Please make sure you have a note with Nam Guardian Angel on it so they know where the money goes.

I really appreciate any donation you can give.


Two cents left means, I didn't have much money in the first place but gave what I could. It wasn't so bad when I was working and had a paycheck to rely on. I also gave what I could with my time. It may be a tiny contribution to some, but I gave all I could. My videos, the blog, the website, the book and email help, all take time and as the saying goes, time is money. My time is up with no money left to hold me over.

I usually have about 90 subscribers. If each of them put in $10 a month, I would not have to find outside work and can stay working on the news they want to read, plus the rest. I'm sure you noticed how the postings have dropped. That's because I'm looking for a job and trying to find financial help. I know PTSD but have not really known how to do the rest of this and have lacked advice. The newer organizations want to be on their own and have no use for someone who has been a "pioneer" with over 25 years and way ahead of them. That's fine but it also means that all the work I've done is either being used freely or ignored. That doesn't pay my bills.

I have helped all the people who came to me and now I need your help.

If you know how I can get funding, please email me at namguardianangel@aol.com

If you have an organization, the Charter issue is corrected now and the donations can be mailed to the IFOC with reference to Nam Guardian Angel
International Fellowship of Chaplains
PO Box 5922Saginaw, MI 48603
38-3446353 (501 c 3)

Stress management program helps soldiers with PTSD

Stress management program helps soldiers with PTSD
Program helps soldiers deal with severe stress, anger
By JENNIFER COX Story updated at 11:00 AM on Monday, Sep. 28, 2009


Army veteran Phil Bauer, 32, has never been shy. In fact, his bubbly personality rarely escapes notice and never fails to entertain.

"I always made the joke that I was glorified proof that bumbles bounce," Bauer laughed.

Even when he walks, it's hard to imagine Bauer in pain.

Yet the New York native suffered unimaginable losses while stationed in Iraq. First, he lost about 20 of his friends and colleagues, then his right leg and, finally, his career.

"I had all the time in [to be a] specialist, but they didn't want to promote an injured soldier," Bauer said.

In January, Bauer found he was not alone. He joined the Jacksonville-based TRACK program for injured soldiers hoping to get a college education and a fresh start with the help of APEX Performance techniques.

The APEX program trains participants to better manage stress and anger and increase their concentration. Bauer says he's proof of the program's power, saying it has helped him recover his positive outlook on life.

Turmoil and torment

In November 2003, an enemy missile hit Bauer's helicopter. After regaining consciousness, Bauer saw he was among the few who survived the attack.

"Outside of Fallujah, our helicopter was hit by a surface-to-air missile, and then gravity took effect, and a 150-foot bounce," he recalled. "When I woke up, my feet were trapped."

But, he said, that was "much better than some of the other people. I woke up."

Bauer's right leg was amputated, and he suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. The newly discharged soldier plunged into a dark period of depression.

"I had spent almost five years basically trying to destroy myself in different ways," Bauer said. "It was just five years of turmoil and torment."
read more here
Stress management program helps soldiers with PTSD

Three Charged in Beating Caught on Video

CHICAGO (Sept. 28) - Prosecutors have charged three teenagers with first-degree murder in the beating death of a Chicago student who was walking home from school.
Family members believe the victim, 16-year-old Derrion Albert, was fatally beaten Thursday for refusing to join a gang. But some witnesses say he was a bystander who was swept into a violent fight.
Three Charged in Beating Caught on Video

Man meets fellow soldier whose life he helped save in Iraq

Man meets fellow soldier whose life he helped save in Iraq
By Karen Madden • Daily Tribune Staff • September 26, 2009


Paul Morrison didn't know how he'd react when he saw Robert Jackson on Friday.

They shared a life-changing day during the summer of 2003 in Baghdad, when Jackson lost his legs, but Morrison helped save his life. There aren't many people Jackson calls a hero, but Morrison is one of them.

On Friday -- the first time they truly met in person -- the two shared smiles, a handshake and a quick hug at Hotel Mead in Wisconsin Rapids. The moment didn't seem to require more than that.

In March 2003, Morrison, now a 43-year-old Grand Rapids resident and Adams County deputy, went to Iraq with his National Guard Unit, the Madison-based 32nd Military Police Company. Their mission: to train Iraqi police.
read more here
Man meets fellow soldier whose life he helped save in Iraq

What happens without veterans' courts

Please don't pass this by just because it comes from the UK. This is what happens when Veterans' courts are not there. It is what happened when Vietnam veterans came home too.

Veteran was discharged and jailed suffering from stress disorder
Case study: Mary Bowers

Danny McEneany, 37, had been home from Iraq for a year when he started seeing “terrorists” waiting outside his house, “staring through the patio window”.

A tip-off alerted the police to the gun he had acquired to protect himself. In December 2006 Mr McEneany was sentenced to five years in prison for possession of a firearm, despite the fact that in the interim he had been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and spent two months in a military hospital.

Before beginning his sentence he spent two nights under supervision in a military camp. “They said, ‘remember you’re a Royal Dragoon Guard.’ I thought: I’m not likely to forget.”

But Mr McEneany — formerly Sergeant — learnt of his discharge after 16 years of service from “a scrap of paper” sent to him post-hearing.


“They didn’t take my PTSD into account,” he said. “The judge said to me, ‘there are thousands who go through the same situation as yourself but they don’t act like you.’”

While in prison in Sussex and Wisley, he was never offered treatment for his condition. “If you go there with a drink problem you get help,” he said. “But prison is a dumping ground for those with mental issues.”

Mr McEneany found consolation in other ex-soldiers, both prisoners and officers. “They said ‘you’re ex-army and you’ll have no trouble here.’ We looked after each other.”
read more here
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article6847984.ece

Family health insurance premiums $13,375

I did accounting for a small company back in Massachusetts. Part of my job was the arduous task of negotiating the health insurance coverage for the employees. Each year we had to take a look at what companies were offering, what it would cost and what the employee would have to do without. It was never a matter of searching for better plans as it was searching to save what we could for the company and the employees.

Each year we had to tell them how their raise was going to have to pay for the increase the company had to make and then tell them they would have to pay more out of their paychecks for their share as well. A pay raise they were used to making ended up being a pay cut over health insurance. I have a problem with calling it healthcare coverage since it is not about taking care of their health, but about addressing an insurance company. They had no problem getting their doctors paid since they really liked their doctors, but making sure the insurance company was paid by eating away their raises, well, that was a different story.

This is something a lot of people just never stop to think about. It's not just a matter of the health insurance companies making a profit, they end up making a killing when you get right to the bottom of what's been allowed to happen.

Family health insurance premiums $13,375

MENLO PARK, Calif., Sept. 15 (UPI) -- An annual U.S. survey of non-federal private and public employers indicates most employers and employees are paying more for health insurance.

The Kaiser Family Foundation and the Health Research & Educational Trust survey found in 2009, the average annual premiums for employer-sponsored health insurance were $4,824 for single coverage and $13,375 for family coverage. Premiums for family coverage are 5 percent higher than last year, but there was no statistically significant growth in the single premiums.

Since 1999, average premiums for family coverage increased 131 percent while the average worker increase was 128 percent for the same period.
read more here
Family health insurance premiums

PTSD a wound to humans and not nation

While this is about German soldiers in Afghanistan, it just goes to show that PTSD does not know one nation from another. It only knows humans. The US has a bigger problem with troops and PTSD because we have more of them. It's as simple as that but also we don't take care of them any better than other nations take care of their own.

One Psychiatrist for 4,500 Troops
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Cases Rise in German Soliders in Afghanistan
The Germany armed forces' deployment in Afghanistan appears to be having an impact on soldiers' psyche. Several newspaper reports claim the number of cases of post-traumatic stress disorder is on the rise. And the Bundeswehr lacks psychiatrists to provide the necessary treatment.

The number of Bundeswehr soldiers affected by psychiatric problems has increased rapidly in recent months, with the number of those suffering from so-called post-traumatic stress disorder having risen particularly quickly, two German newspapers reported on Thursday.


Both of the dailies, the Rhein-Zeitung and the Süddeutsche Zeitung, referred to a request for information made to the defense affairs committee of the German federal parliament by politician Elke Hoff of the Free Democratic Party (FDP). "Up until now the government has neglected to do anything to better the psychological care and treatment of soldiers," she told the Süddeutschen Zeitung.

According to the newspapers, the number of soldiers suffering first symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder had risen by over 30 percent in the first six months of 2009. This resulted in a total of 163 cases. Last year, a total of 245 cases of the psychiatric disorder were reported in the military, with 226 of them occurring in Afghanistan. In 2006, only 55 soldiers were diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. During the past six months, attacks on German forces in Aghanistan have risen.
read more here
http://www.spiegel.de/international/world/0,1518,651015,00.html