A tale of two military sides
Maybe as the cable news stations are fixated on Don't Ask Don't Tell regarding gay people serving in the military, someone can come up with something to make families attractive enough to report on as well. Considering how many members in the military are gay vs how many families there are in the military but not serving themselves, there are a hell of a lot more of them.
We don't see reports on CNN covering PTSD or suicides with as much devotion as they have been doing since the earthquake in Haiti, but it is a crisis right here, right now claiming more lives after war than during it, plus taking whole families down with it. Once in a while they do a brief report almost as if they felt they had to then they just move on to cover the latest news everyone else is jumping on. Tabloid journalism at it's finest hiding under humanitarian coverage.
Should they report on the fact bodies are being dumped into piles barely covered by dirt instead of shown some respect? Absolutely but considering we're burying bodies of servicemen and women taken by suicide, they should be shown some respect as well.
Maybe I'm wrong but I thought the job of journalists was to inform about what was going on in the world, including this country and telling stories that should be in the spotlight so that people will be informed enough to know they should care.
Had some gay people not been brave enough to seek justice for themselves and others, this issue would still be a deep dark secret and no one would really care if a gay service member was kicked out once in a while. Then it didn't matter if this was right or wrong because it just wasn't personal to most Americans. Now it is. It is because we know some of their stories.
With military families we know their stories way too late to do much at all. We read about the suicides and how the families are grieving as they beg for privacy or others traveling to Washington to try to stop other families from feeling their pain. We read about the numbers of divorces, but we don't know their stories except for very few willing to talk after to a reporter willing to ask.
Well, here we have a story of a woman who used to be of interest to reporters when they needed her to help them put together an article they could just right and move on from. Not that most of them were ever personally involved in any of this, or they would have not been able to walk away from any of this. This military wife didn't walk away. She was shoved away.
Carissa is a dear friend and there have been very few advocates for the servicemen and women coming from within. She broke the unspoken rule of telling the truth about what was going on and she gained the media spotlight so fast it was a testament to her talent as well as her work. To see what has happened to her in a little over a year should be an alarm bell to every reporter out there that there is a serious problem this nation has and it stems from the military culture itself.
How many divorces could have been prevented if the military had resources that worked? How many suicides could have been prevented if the military families were given enough educational weapons to fight the ghosts soldiers bring back from battle? Ever wonder?
We have spouses willing to drop their own lives and careers to be married to someone willing to lay down their lives for this country. We have kids settling for going without making any long lasting friends because they have to move too often. We have men and women deployed worrying about what it happening back home because their spouse is too lonely and no one seems to care. They move away from their extended families so they can be with their military spouse but then when they deploy, where are they supposed to go with kids in school and families hundreds of miles away? Working? How can they find a job when they may be transferred? There are only so many jobs on base or temp jobs in traveling distance.
So when we read about divorces in the military, read this and then maybe the next time you hear some numbers it'll be a bit more personal to you because you will see what happened to a wife after she cared enough to try to change what was wrong.
PBS’ Favorite Unsung Heroine for 2009 Abandoned for Speaking Out
February 2, 2010 by Robert L. Hanafin ·
Last December I posted an article Military Divorces continue to increase, a spokesman for the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) said that,
“Every marriage has controllable and uncontrollable factors, but when you interject eight years of war, preparing for war, being at war, coming home and having to think about going back to war again, and when you have children, it just has a tremendous impact on the family unit.” However, the VFW also said that the military prides itself on taking care of military families.
As a retired military officer who served in two services the Army and Air Force, I can assure you that WE do take care of our own as long as our own stays in line, and does not make wave. However, what happens to military spouses once their uniformed husband or wife decides that that the Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marines is their real family during a war that our nation is not committed to?
Yes, we can say that before a man or women marries someone in uniform they must agree to the Soldier’s Creed, Airmen’s Creed or whatever creed, even the one made up for Military Spouses to place ‘the mission’ above all else including family, but that does nothing for the spouse and children that the military member, and the Pentagon abandons.
Despite being a licensed attorney in good standing with the bar in MD, having been named a national unsung heroine by PBS for women’s history month in 2009 AND being an being an unpaid advocate for Wounded Warriors and Military Families, plus an active duty spouse for nearly eight years, she has not been able to find a job despite her best efforts.
She has been applying for jobs since April of 2009, and now she, like many other spouses enduring military divorces, is desperate for help. She is being forced into the streets with her two sons (ages 6 and 9), because she has to move out of her on-post housing by March 8.
She is willing to relocate ANYWHERE in the country and she is now open to any position even if she is overqualified.
Simply put no military spouse rather they decide to permanently marry the military or not should have to send out such a desperate plea for help.
Frankly, I should not even have to be posting this, because this lady and thousands like her feel abandoned.
If anyone has any ideas how to approach the over issue of how military spouses once divorced are mistreated and abandoned, or can at least help this lady with job prospects, please contact me.
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Favorite Unsung Heroine for 2009 Abandoned for Speaking Out
