It sucks to be right and no one cared before it was too late

Too late for too many

Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 18, 2018

If it seems as if everything just keeps getting worse for our veterans, that is because it is. This long nightmare was provided by greedy SOBs who never were held responsible for anything they got paid to do, but failed.

In 2009 when I wrote "Comprehensive Soldier Fitness will make it worse" it was because I had been doing this long enough to predict the outcome. I was right and it sucks sitting here, still paying attention to the devil in the details most people miss.


We have CONgress failing. The DOD failing. The VA failing. The "awareness" charities failing miserably. And all of them get paid to do the jobs they fail at doing. We have corporations, colleges, think tanks and other charities getting funding from the government and private donations, and they are failing. None of this is guess work. The facts prove it all sucks the life out of veterans who should be filled up with all the knowledge they need to heal. They do not even have a clue they can.

So why is it that I am still trying to warn people ahead of time and no one pays attention? Simple. Someone has to put them first! I've seen the worst that can happen and it breaks my heart because the loss does not stop at the grave. It spreads out. The thing is, I've also seen the proof of what can be when they take back control over their own lives.

The DOD has grabbing onto nonsense to show they are trying. Like using Talladega Nights when Will Ferrell was with the cougar. Or when they used the epic Gilgamesh cartoon. Not easy to come to the conclusion that was money not well spent even though they had it thanks to Congress.

Much like now, they will just keep writing huge checks and expecting absolutely nothing in return. Well, not exactly, since this time, they decided to not even spend it. 
 
There was a report released by the GAO about funds that were supposed to be invested in suicide prevention. 

Starting in June 2012, the VA consistently aired suicide preventions PSAs every month, either on the television or radio. When GAO investigators looked into the issue in August 2018, the VA hadn’t aired a PSA in over a year.

And then we have this,

Of the $6.2 million budget obligated for suicide prevention outreach in fiscal year 2018, the agency had spent only $57,000, or less than 1 percent, by September. Agency officials told investigators they would end up spending a total $1.5 million by Oct. 1, the end of the fiscal year. The remainder, $4.7 million, went unused. 

Time and time again, I pointed out how the "number" of "veterans committing suicide" was false and pointed out exactly why. But no one cared. They just kept passing the crap out on social media as if they just discovered something that needed attention.

With the news that has been posted here, 29,853 times, counting this post, it gets harder and harder to do it. I think about all the people out there making money off all of this when I just had to use my own money to cover my Post Office Box rental fee. I stood in line after working a regular job and wondering why I still do it after 36 years.

And then I came home. My husband greeted me with a smile, fresh coffee waiting and my dog flipped out as if he hadn't seen me in months. That is why I do this! That is why I get up everyday with this on my mind, and in my heart.

I took all this seriously because I fell in love. If you do not love what you are doing when it comes to our veterans, then you need to be doing something else. This is serious. This is their deaths or being glad they are still living. This is about someone who was willing to die for the sake of someone else, because they valued that life so much, but not valuing their own enough to fight for themselves.

This is about getting totally pissed off over what other people are willing to settle for and getting pats on the back, big fat checks they spend on themselves and never once looking back and the destruction they caused in far too many families. It has all been too little, too late for far too many who did not need to suffer instead of celebrating.

GAO found VA under spent on suicide prevention

VA leaves nearly $5 million unused in 2018 campaign to battle suicide, watchdog finds
STARS AND STRIPES
By NIKKI WENTLING
Published: December 17, 2018 

Starting in June 2012, the VA consistently aired suicide preventions PSAs every month, either on the television or radio. When GAO investigators looked into the issue in August 2018, the VA hadn’t aired a PSA in over a year.

WASHINGTON — A federal investigation found the money and effort expended by the Department of Veterans Affairs on suicide prevention outreach dropped significantly in 2017 and 2018, despite it being touted by the past two VA secretaries as their top clinical priority.

The Government Accountability Office reported Monday, Dec. 17, 2018, that the Department of Veterans Affairs spent only $1.5 million on suicide prevention programs. The department was alloted $6.2 million for such programs. GOVERNMENT ACCOUNTABILITY OFFICE

Following a yearlong investigation, the Government Accountability Office reported Monday that the VA has cut back since 2016 on suicide prevention outreach. Of the $6.2 million budget obligated for suicide prevention outreach in fiscal year 2018, the agency had spent only $57,000, or less than 1 percent, by September. Agency officials told investigators they would end up spending a total $1.5 million by Oct. 1, the end of the fiscal year. The remainder, $4.7 million, went unused.

In 2017, the VA had a budget of $1.7 million for suicide prevention and other mental health outreach. The VA spent about $136,000, or less than 10 percent, on suicide prevention. Also in 2017, the VA had a “limited effort” for suicide prevention month in September because they didn't prepare, the GAO found.

read more here 

Who counted the suicides?

Today I was reading about a Retired Colonel committing suicide at Bay Pines VA Hospital. Then a few hour later, there was a report about a Coast Guard member committing murder- suicide, after killing his wife, son and leaving his daughter fighting for her life in the hospital. Yet again, it happened in Florida. Last night a Marine was telling me a member of a group he knows, committed suicide yesterday morning. Yes, yet again, Florida.

Last year, a veteran faced off with members of law enforcement at least 52 times. Did anything change with all the "awareness" groups running around the country? No...oh, HELL NO!

This year we wanted to try to find out how many veterans committed suicide in very public ways. You know, they wanted to make sure no one could cover it up or just try to lump them in with a number that is not even real.

OK, so, it turns out that it happened at least 26 times this year. 

List started July 14

January 2018
1 Clinton Michigan
Veteran committed suicide at East Olive Elementary School

February
2 Texas
Army veteran dead after SWAT Standoff 

March 2018
3 Yountville California
Veteran and hostages dead at PTSD program

4 Vietnam veteran committed suicide in Sheridan Police Department Parking lot after calling dispatch to let them know where he was.

5 Joint Base Lewis McChord Airman committed suicide after killing his family.

6 Waterbury 
Suicide by cop, Marine veteran

Oklahoma
7 Suicide by Cop: Duane served in the Air Force for 16 years, completing three tours overseas. 

8 Soldier dead after standoff at Aberdeen Proving Ground

9 Oklahoma
Air Force Veteran dead after police were called to help him.

10 St. Louis
62 year old veteran committed suicide in John Cochran VA Medical Center waiting room

April 2018
11 76 year old Vietnam veteran committed suicide in Boynton City Hal parking lot. Not first time this happened. 

It happened last year in Amarillo Texas when a veteran shot himself in front of the VA hospital.

May 2018
12 Airman at Cannon Air Force Base found dead in Ned Houk Park

June 2018
13 Fort Knox 
21 year old Private committed public suicide at Clarksville High School after he stole a gun.

14 Kansas
Vietnam veteran committed suicide at in the VA emergency room.

15 Colorado Springs

Hours after being discharged from a mental health treatment facility, 38-year-old disabled veteran Lee Cole hiked into a wilderness area in southwest Colorado Springs with a backpack and the cellphone on which he planned to record his final message.

16 Georgia
Navy Veteran set himself on fire in front of Georgia Capitol protesting the VA system. 

Not first time this happened. It also happened in New Jersey last year.

17 Norfolk Navy Yard
Sailor walked into helicopter blade, death ruled suicide.

July 2018
18 Alabama
Air Force veteran shot family, and himself after setting house on fire.

19 Chicago Police Officer and Marine veteran committed suicide in parking lot of police station.

20 Florida

Herbert Anderson, 85, shot and injured himself with a .380-caliber handgun just after 9 a.m. outside the Veteran Affairs’ Lecanto Community Based Outpatient Clinic, according to Citrus County Sheriff’s Office spokesman Lee Alexander.

21 Phoenix AZ
Veteran shot himself inside the VA Hospital Chapel 

Not the first times since it happened last year when a 33 year old veteran shot himself at the VA.

August 2018
22 Employee found dead inside Topeka VA Medical Center office

A Veterans Affairs employee died Tuesday morning inside an administrative office at Topeka’s Colmery O’Neil VA Medical Center. Joe Burks, spokesman for the VA Eastern Kansas Health Care System, said the employee died of an apparent suicide.

23 Suicide in Mishawaka VA parking lot puts spotlight on veteran mental health crisis

A veteran shot himself yesterday in the parking lot of the VA Health Care Center in Mishawaka -- dead from an apparent suicide.

September 2018
24 Minneapolis VA Hospital parking lot, veteran committed suicide day after discharge.

 October 2018
25 Greenville, veteran video taped himself asking his family to forgive him before he pulled the trigger.

November 2018 
26 Gunshot in lobby of Nashville VA Medical Center


DECEMBER 2018

27 Bay Pines VA Hospital Parking Lot

On Dec. 10, retired Marine Col. Jim Turner put on his dress uniform and medals and drove to the Bay Pines Department of Veterans Affairs complex. He got out of his truck, sat down on top of his military records and took his own life with a rifle.

TO THE AWARENESS RAISERS!

Do you think your push-ups can top them?
Do you think your ruck marches can top them?
Do you think your events where you advertise it as "fun" can top them?
Do you think that anyone should trust a damn thing you say when you have done nothing to stop them from topping you on raising awareness?  

Retired Marine Col. Jim Turner took his life at Bay Pines

Jim Turner, a retired Marine colonel, took his life at the Bay Pines VA campus

Tampa Bay Times
By Howard Altman 
Published 28 minutes ago

ST. PETERSBURG — On Dec. 10, retired Marine Col. Jim Turner put on his dress uniform and medals and drove to the Bay Pines Department of Veterans Affairs complex. He got out of his truck, sat down on top of his military records and took his own life with a rifle.

Aside from leaving behind grieving family and friends, Turner, 55, of Belleair Bluffs, left behind a suicide note that blasted the VA for what he said was its failure to help him.

"I bet if you look at the 22 suicides a day you will see VA screwed up in 90%," wrote Turner, who was well-known and well-respected in military circles. "I did 20+ years, had PTSD and still had to pay over $1,000 a month health care."

Captain Ryan Spangler (left) and Gunnery Sgt. Tousnel Renaud (right), with the 4th Assault Amphibian Battalion, United States Marine Corps Reserve in Tampa, fold one of the two American flags that are to be presented to the family at the end of the memorial service Friday afternoon, at the Serenity Funeral Home in Largo, for retired Marine Col. James "Jim" Turner IV, who took his life at Bay Pines Dec. 10. (DIRK SHADD | Times)

Vietnam War Navy veteran Jerry Reid, 67, may have driven to the VA to take his own life on Feb. 7, 2013, because he lived alone and didn’t want to have his body found weeks or months later, said his friend, Bob Marcus.

Joseph Jorden, 57, a medically retired Army Green Beret, likely took his life at Bay Pines on March 17, 2017, not because of poor treatment, but because he felt safe there, said his brother, Mark Jorden.

But Gerhard Reitmann, 66, who served with the Marines in Vietnam and later as a guard for President Richard Nixon at Camp David, “felt like the VA wasn’t really taking care of him” when he ended his life at Bay Pines on Aug. 25, 2015, said his brother, Stephan Reitmann.

The mother of Esteban Rosario, 24, who ended his life at Bay Pines on May 8, 2013, could not be reached for comment. read more here

Still think that sending veterans into private care is good for them?

Kaiser patients speak out about lengthy waits for mental health therapy

The Press Democrat
ALEXANDRIA BORDAS
December 15, 2018

“You either become dead or more depressed in this system. I lost everything going through this experience and now I have nothing else to lose. Now, I am unafraid to speak out.” Jessica Held

Time and again, Jessica Held called Kaiser’s mental health department in Santa Rosa pleading for help.

Feelings of severe anxiety and depression would weigh on her, but weren’t yet at alarming heights. In those moments, she didn’t want to harm herself or others, although she strongly believed she needed extra support from someone — anyone — available to see her at Kaiser Permanente Medical Center in Santa Rosa.

But she never received the immediate help she desired.

Held said she was consistently told there wasn’t anyone available for individual therapy for at least a month because she wasn’t in a crisis situation, despite being a Kaiser patient since 2001. Instead, Kaiser offered to place her in group therapy.

Held’s story and others like it received new attention this week as Kaiser mental health workers staged a five-day statewide strike against the nonprofit health care system. The National Union of Healthcare Workers, which represents psychologists, therapists and clinical social workers, ended their strike on Friday.

Union members say patients must wait four to six weeks, on average, for individual therapy appointments because Kaiser has not hired enough mental health workers to properly treat its members. Many who need individual care are funneled into group therapy, union members say.
read more here

UPDATE
Just a reminder: 

VA hospitals outperform private hospitals in most markets, according to Dartmouth study

"Little spark cuts through fog"

Spark out of the darkness

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 16, 2018

Yesterday I attended a Wreath Laying ceremony at All Faiths Memorial Park. A large crowd gathered together on a rainy morning to remember veterans.

They did not know most of veterans, but they took their wreath, read the names their so they
would be remembered.

They were not all famous like Robert Miller, who was posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor for sacrificing his life to save others in Afghanistan. Some died many years after serving, yet each one mattered.
read more here

PTSD Vietnam veteran died getting out of moving ambulance

Jury awards $7 million to family of Vietnam vet who died after climbing out of moving ambulance

Chicago Tribune
Mike Nolan
December 14, 2018

Bonamarte said the ambulance was traveling at about 30 to 35 miles per hour when Stein climbed out, and he suffered multiple injuries, including head and rib fractures. Lawyers speculated that confusion brought on by PTSD prompted Stein to leave the ambulance.

A jury has awarded $7 million to the family of Patrick Stein, shown, who died in July 2014 after climbing out of a moving ambulance. (Law firm of Levin and Perconti)

Cook County Circuit Court jury has awarded $7 million to the family of a Vietnam veteran from the south suburbs who died in 2014 after climbing out of a moving ambulance, according to an attorney who represented the family.

Patrick Stein, 64, who lived in Matteson at the time, suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder after two tours of duty in Vietnam, according to the law firm Levin and Perconti.

The verdict in the wrongful death lawsuit was reached late Wednesday, Michael Bonamarte, an attorney with the firm, said Friday.

Stein had been brought to St. James Olympia Fields Hospital in July 2014 after his family had found him outside his daughter’s home with a butcher knife clutched to his abdomen, according to the firm.

Medical staff at the hospital diagnosed the man as having an altered mental status, acute confusion and suicidal behavior, according to the firm, and recommended Stein be transferred to Edward Hines Veterans Affairs hospital in Maywood, where psychiatric services were available. While at St. James, Stein didn’t recall the episode with the knife, according to the firm.
read more here

Christmas gift of love delivered in Casselberry today

Rain did not stop Wreaths Across America in Florida

Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 15, 2018

This morning in Casselberry Florida, a large group gathered together to make sure the veterans buried at All Faiths Memorial Park were not forgotten. It did not matter that it was raining.

Sgt. Dave Matthews of Never Forgotten Memorials was the MC.

Traffic stop at VA left veteran dead!

Exclusive: Internal documents detail VA police altercation with veteran who later died

USA Today
Donovan Slack
Dec. 14, 2018

Kansas City Star reporter Andy Marso confirmed the veteran who died was Dale Farhner of Kingston, Missouri. But the VA refused to say what happened, so the reporter filed a records request under the Freedom of Information Act.

WASHINGTON – A 66-year-old veteran was found severely injured and nearly unconscious following a traffic stop by a Veterans Affairs police officer in May, and he died two days later, according to an internal report obtained by USA TODAY.

The VA has repeatedly refused, even seven months later, to disclose any details about what happened, citing an ongoing investigation.

But the internal report provides an account of a tragic altercation between the veteran and officer outside the VA medical center in Kansas City, Missouri. “After being pulled over, the patient began making inappropriate gestures and physically threatening motions with his arm,” the report says.

The officer also noticed a “large ‘bulge’” by the driver’s abdomen “(later found to be due to recent hernia surgery).” He decided to detain him. The man “struggled.” So the officer “brought the patient to the ground.” He then completed the “handcuffing process.”

During the incident, the patient’s son approached “from behind.” The officer directed him to stay back, and he called for backup.

But something was awry.

“While being brought to the ground, the patient seemed to suffer some injuries,” the report says. So he was taken inside the hospital to be checked out.

“Upon arrival to the Emergency Department the patient was non-verbal, moaning with a decreased level of consciousness,” the report says.

Medical workers found he had a gash in his scalp and “multiple” cuts and bruises on his face. A CT scan of his head showed areas of bleeding around his brain, one on the left frontal lobe and another on the right.
read more here

When they are spreading the pain instead of healing

Turning heartache into action requires more than love

Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 15, 2018

When you suffer a loss of someone you love, the pain can be so great, the only way to relieve it, is to find something else to fill the void left behind.

While it is totally understandable to want to do something, doing the right thing requires so much more than the desire.

After more than half my life has been dedicated to defeating PTSD, it began because of the pain I was introduced to when I fell in love. I knew what was attached to the stigma preventing veterans from seeking help. What I did not know was how to get it out of the way.

It required a couple of years of research before I began to write about it. About ten years later, personal computers connected people just like me across the country, and we learned more. We shared more and then we began to change the conversation.

To say it is heartbreakingly frustrating to see the outcome today, is far from adequate. Putting my fist through my computer is closer to how I feel every time I read about someone starting a charity because they are hurting. How many more do we need before people finally wake up and take all of this as seriously as it deserves to be taken?

I was reading a report about a firefighter's Mom in the process of starting a charity because her son committed suicide. It has not even started yet, but managed to get the attention of the Chronicle Herald. It has a lot of claims in it that have been proven to have already failed, but that is not even mentioned.

The Mom knows what pain she feels, but did not know the pain her son was carrying, and lacked the knowledge to know what his job was doing to him. But this Mom decided that experience should be turned into yet another effort, based on what failed so she can share it?

(The Mom) highly praised the assistance (her son) received from Halifax Regional Fire services.“I can’t even begin to tell you how supportive they were,” she said. “Within the resources they have and the skills and tools they had, they over-performed by 500 per cent.”

She praised it after her son was failed by it? Then she talked about how there are things in place that work? We have got to stop being silent when so much of what works is not worth them mentioning!

Here in the US, we have far too many just like her, and that is our biggest problem. Wanting to do something and knowing how to do it are two very different things.

Preventing suicides requires a serious effort, but we have not seen as much dedication toward discovering what is already available and what has been proven to have failed. Resilience training failed with catastrophic results. 

The DOD began that "effort" over a decade ago, yet ever since 2012, we have seen more service members commit suicide, than those killed in two wars every year. 

This "effort" actually hinders them from seeking help because they are told they can "train their brains" to be mentally tough. Since they do not actually understand what PTSD, they end up believing they are mentally weak, instead of knowing PTSD hit their core because of the strength within them.

How long do we allow all of this to go on because we do not want to hurt someone who has suffered a loss? How long do we let people, with good intentions, spread what failed, because we feel sorry for them?

The number of known suicides has gone up because we have simply allowed grief stricken people to do whatever they wanted to do, blindly supported them in their "efforts" because we did not want to inflict more pain? Seriously? We managed to allow the pain to spread out so that more families knew exactly what the provider had been through the hard way. It happened to them!

If we keep failing to get serious about all this, we will continue to see more and more take their own lives because we failed to show them the way to take control of their healing. Too many never even knew they could!
#TakeBackYourLife