Time for the majority to use their power

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos 

June 3, 2022

The majority of Americans own guns. The majority of Americans are also supporting gun law restrictions. So why are the members of the GOP in the Senate and House against them?

The answer comes from FORBES.

The poll found a combined 59% think it’s important for elected leaders to “pass stricter gun control laws,” including 83% of Democrats, 52% of Independents, and 37% of Republicans.

Just 37% of Republicans? Seriously? I know a lot of them and they are great people, love their families and friends, and would not want to see any harm come to them, especially from a bullet. They are responsible gun owners. Well, there was one time when we were in a truck following our husbands on a ride from Florida to Washington DC for a Memorial ride. We stopped for lunch with the guys and had a great time. We drove for about twenty minutes when one of the women realized she left her purse behind. We were in the passing lane, so we missed the next exit, had to drive more miles, and turned around while she tried to calm down. She ran in and thanked God a waitress found it instead of an unethical person, or, God forbid, a child got their hands on it. (I don't own a gun for a simple reason. I'm a klutz. Ask anyone I know and they'll agree that is the last thing that should ever be in my hands.)

The other thing is, most of the people I know are Republicans and I never once worried about being around them with their guns. They must be in the 37% of the Republicans thinking there should be stricter gun laws. I can't imagine any of them being in favor of anyone getting their hands on an AR15, or any other weapon, considering all of them obey the law and treat their weapons with respect.

So when do the majority of people in this country actually act like they are? When do we use the power of our numbers instead of just shutting up, living our own lives, worrying about our own problems, and shaking our heads because we don't think there is a damn thing we can do about any of this?

The minority has more power because they scream about what they want and demand it. The minority of people acting up always get the attention of the media, including social media because the majority think there is nothing they can do, so we allow them to do and get whatever they want.

I was talking to a woman yesterday and she said it seems like everything is just too much. She ran down the list of everything that is wrong. I told her I felt the same way, but take comfort when I see enormous groups of people joining together to fight for what is right and let their voices be heard. I take comfort when I hear politicians and members of the press showing the emotional turmoil they are in when they talk about the children massacred in Robb Middle School in Uvalde, Texas. 

That is another problem for the members of the GOP in Congress because they keep saying the way to address it is by arming more teachers and putting armed guards into schools. After all, as they say, "The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun." The truth, however, is not a movie. There were plenty of armed "good guys" outside of Robb but nothing while the murderer was murdering more kids.

Let this headline sink in for a second from People.

Police Knew Texas Shooter Was in Room with Kids, Undermining Claim They Thought He Was Barricaded: Witnesses

Read the rest of this and then try to figure out how you can use your own voice to stop all this. If you read Wounded Times because of #PTSD, then know this, when we do nothing, we increase membership into this club no one wants to join.

There are about 393 million privately owned firearms in the US, according to an estimate by the Switzerland-based Small Arms Survey -- or in other words, 120 guns for every 100 Americans. That's the highest rate of any country in the world, and more than double the rate of the next country on the list.

A number of polls and surveys conducted in recent years share some insights on gun ownership in the United States.

What studies reveal about gun ownership in the US

CNN
By Harmeet Kaur
June 2, 2022

(CNN)As the nation continues to endure devastating mass shootings and increasing homicide rates, guns remain a fixture of American culture.

Many Americans consider the right to bear arms sacred, seeing guns as key to their identities and individual freedoms. Some keep guns for protection, hunting or sport, while others see guns and the lax regulations around them as a threat to life and safety. Recurring tragedies involving guns contribute to a climate of fear in which those positions become more entrenched.

Understanding gun ownership in the US can help inform debates about firearm laws (or lack thereof). Obtaining a precise picture, however, is challenging because no definitive database of gun sales exists. What we have to rely on then are polls and survey data from think tanks and academic researchers, which vary somewhat in their estimates. Still, there are some broad trends that stand out.
read more here

Courageously Broken

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 2, 2022

I don't have as much time as I used to have to post here, but I still track the news on PTSD. Working on the books has consumed whatever extra time I've had. You'd think that after 4 decades, I'd be able to just retire and enjoy the rest of my life, but at this point, it is so much a part of my DNA, I doubt that will ever happen. There is just too much suffering out there and not enough people to change the outcome.

This morning, I was happy to discover someone out there was so determined to #BreakTheSilence that she was one of the news reports I read this morning.

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. – DA Michaels’ one-woman push to help military veterans and first responders dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is built on a tragedy that nearly sent her “down the rabbit hole.” (Click Orlando)

When I read the interview, I could feel my blood pressure boiling seeing that damn number of "22" and right away, I thought it would be just one more person getting attention for the wrong reason. I slammed my hand down on the desk, got another cup of coffee, prepared to walk away from the article repulsed, and just move on to the next report. Soon I discovered that was the only part that bothered me.

D.A. Michaels is a Navy veteran and police veteran, and she's a woman! I took a look at the beginning of the book and knew that this one was of value. When you watch the video below, she also links what happened to her in her personal life while addressing what she survived in her professional life. If you ever doubted the fact that PTSD strikes survivors, no matter what the event is, this should remove all doubt and God willing, get the stigma out of the way with it!

Courageously Broken

"A young idealistic teen leaves a small town and abusive father behind to join the Navy in a refreshingly down to earth memoir of one woman's journey to self discovery. She embraces life with passion and courage, from training and partying with Navy SEALs to skydiving and joining the police force, but when tragic events while serving her country lead to years of nightmares, depression and PTSD, she must learn to navigate life through the heartache and tears until the laughter and love return.

PTSD People Awareness Month

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 1, 2022

Today begins PTSD Awareness Month. If you go to that link, it goes to the Department of Veterans Affairs. Appropriately since what trauma does to survivors began to be researched by studying Vietnam Veterans. The thing is, if you read what is within the pages you'll find the word "people" and not just veterans.

PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) is a mental health problem that some people develop after experiencing or witnessing a life-threatening event, like combat, a natural disaster, a car accident, or sexual assault.

It’s normal to have upsetting memories, feel on edge, or have trouble sleeping after this type of event. At first, it may be hard to do normal daily activities, like go to work, go to school, or spend time with people you care about. But most people start to feel better after a few weeks or months.

If it’s been longer than a few months and you’re still having symptoms, you may have PTSD. For some people, PTSD symptoms may start later on, or they may come and go over time.

If I had one wish, it would be that this month would bring awareness that PTSD strikes survivors, all of us, no matter what we survived. That's why I wrote The Lost Son Alive Again and the upcoming Stranger Angels Among Us. 

The Lost Son Alive Again by Kathie Costos ebook

and paperback

I wanted to do something that included survivors of many different events to show their struggles, so by the end of the books, you'll discover how much power you do have over the rest of your life. 

I survived over 10 events but the one that did it to me was when my ex-husband tried to kill me and then stalked me. The thing is, even I didn't know I had PTSD despite working to help others for 4 decades. I had a rare form of it that stopped when I found out he died and could no longer harm me. I mean, I had nightmares, flashbacks, mood swings, paranoia, and everything else, but all that came with the one thing that made me freak out. The sound of a muscle car. If you have ever been stalked you know what it is like to have a trigger reminder of it and terror takes over common sense. Even though you discover you didn't really have anything to fear from whatever the trigger was, those memories have already taken hold. It may not make sense to people you know but they don't know what it was like for you to survive it.

Anyway, that's why the main character of the series is not a veteran. He was a reporter and his wife tried to kill him and then stalked him. I wanted a male character because while it is hardly ever mentioned, males can go through domestic violence too. While there are veterans in these books, there are a lot of others too.

As you read, you see the suffering until friends come along to help the healing begin. You'll see the struggles all of us go through as we learn one day at a time to take another step out of the darkness we were living with and into the healing light of hope.

It bugs me that I had to rewrite these books because while people loved the stories, they felt trapped by the Bible passages spoiling the flow of the story. I wanted them included because spiritual healing is just as vital as mental health efforts. I know I couldn't have adapted without my faith. I had to rewrite them because with everything going on with hateful people claiming to be Christians, it turned people off. I wanted to focus on the beauty and power of what too many miss in the Bible because they feel forced out of the church. It's like there is no place for us within the doors. The thing is, you don't need to be in a building to contact God and you don't have to be "worthy" to reach out to Him. You'll find that too.

I want you to find what I have now. It doesn't mean your life will be perfect and you'll never have any problems or do anything wrong ever again. It's more about discovering the way to get through all of it and seeing your life in a different way. I'm going through a lot right now, but, truthfully, I am calm even though I should be totally stressed out. I know why I'm not and I wish the same for you because I got to tell you, that this side of the darkness of PTSD is so much better than living without hope.

That's my message to start this month out with!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Day after Memorial Day regrets

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 31, 2022

 I wanted to know what it was like for the majority of the people in this country, so yesterday I decided to try to ignore it was Memorial Day. I went shopping and did the normal stuff I usually do as if it was just another day. Ever since I can remember, I always honored Memorial Day. I won't say I "celebrated" it because, to tell the truth, I find it repulsive to celebrate a day like this. A lot of people disagree with me, but, that's what I believe.

My Dad, uncles, and my husband, along with most of our friends, know the price paid to serve this country. The families know it too. What I didn't know was what it was like to ignore them. Today, I'm filled with regrets about doing what the majority of people do. 

What kind of people are they? What do they value? Do they know that the minority of people who have lived in this country, provided for the defense of this whole country?

To me, Memorial Day is bittersweet, because of all the suffering that goes unnoticed and unaddressed. The price of war is always carried off the field of battle, in the hearts of those who lost someone, and in the minds of those who have lost themselves.

These men and women were just like the rest of us in a lot of ways. They had their political views, liked and disliked things, and hated and loved other things. The one thing that bound them together was no matter what divided them at home, in war, they were willing to die for one another. These same simple, heroic humans were willing to do that, yet, back home, people can't bring themselves to talk to someone else they disagree with.

Anyway, this was the first and last time I'll ignore Memorial Day because ignoring them, feels like a betrayal to my family and friends. None of them were, or are, superheroes. Not one of them was perfect. They all had flaws and strengths just like the rest of us. They all had dreams and plans, just like everyone else. Unlike everyone else, they did what none of us will ever do. They gave parts of their lives so we could live ours with rights we are too afraid to stand up and stand in line for. The right to decide who and what we want to become and how we want to live, worship, or not, where we want to live, and how we want to live our life. I choose to never again live as if they never existed and Memorial Day is just the beginning of summer.

PBS Memorial Day concert

PTSD and the power you have within your mind

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 23, 2022

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, but too many are unaware of how much power they do have over their own mental health. There's a reason why no one ever asks, "Have you lost your brain?" It is your mind that holds your thoughts and emotions. Just like when you fall in love, people say "they have my heart" while leaving the mind totally out of the conversation. 

There are many different mental illnesses, and most have been researched enough so that there are always ways to make the lives of people better, if not perfect, at least better. It is the same with people fighting PTSD. No one can make your life perfect but between experts and the power you have within your mind, it can become a hell of a lot better than it is now. Even if you are on the road toward healing, even you can achieve more healing than you hoped for.

While service members and veterans battle PTSD, so do civilians in far greater numbers. Considering PTSD only happens after surviving a mind-shaking event, they suffer the same way as military people. What keeps getting left out of the conversation is that military people are also just people too, and can have the same traumatic events as everyone else. The unique thing is that military people have to also recover from what happens while serving their country.

While civilians can understand your pain and struggles, they cannot understand all the events that caused yours. You cannot understand all of their events unless you survived the same thing. It is time that everyone understands what they do have in common with other survivors. This is why I wrote The Lost Son Alive Again.

After 40 years of working with veterans and families struggling with PTSD, it was time for me to turn my attention to everyone fighting this same enemy. It includes several veterans and survivors of other events so that more people can see themselves in these characters.

The Army is trying to do something for soldiers.

 Mental Health Awareness Month highlights resources available for those in need on Army Times addresses the needs of active duty and veterans, but as you can see, none of this is new and efforts to support them to seek mental health help have fallen way too short.

ROCK ISLAND ARSENAL, Ill. — May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and it comes at a time when active-duty and veteran suicides are at alarming levels. The U.S. Army, and the U.S. Army Sustainment Command in particular, are making enormous efforts to help Soldiers, Civilians and their families be aware of mental health problems and offer support and services to those who need them. This year, at least to this point, offers a bright spot in an otherwise gloomy picture. According to Army Secretary Christine Wormuth, testifying before Congress on May 11, Soldier deaths so far this year are “significantly lower” than during the same period last year. And rates of suicide in the Army are lower at this point than during the most recent five-year and 10-year average for the combined forces. That’s good news, but a Department of Defense report published in September 2021, said, “In CY (calendar year) 2020, there were 580 service members who tragically died by suicide.”

 That is good and bad in all of this. Aren't you tired of the attitude of anything is better than nothing? After all, that is why we are seeing these results 4 decades after I got into all of this. The premise of this book, as well as the upcoming Stranger Angels Among Us, is to open eyes, hearts, and minds to the power all of you, civilians as well as military folks, have within your own mind.

The main character was a reporter coving the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. An RPG blew up near him and almost killed him. It set off powerful PTSD and then other events added to the damage already done.

He was done waiting for miracles. After all, God washed His hands of Chris a long time ago. When the shock of surviving wore off, regret took its place. He was sure the man he was died on the operating table, precisely seven years from that day. Friday, September 13, 2019, Christopher Papadopoulos had seen a lot in his life and he didn’t want to see anymore.

Bill Gibson, his best friend, and ex-brother-in-law was struck by PTSD from serving in the Army.

Chris dreaded talking to him about the marriage falling apart and wasn’t sure what Bill had heard about it from his ex-wife. He could only imagine all the horrible things she told him, blaming it all on him. “So Bill, what are you doing back in Salem? The last time I saw you, you said you were going to stay in the Army for the rest of your life. And then I got blown up.”
“I was but I got out over five years ago. We’re here for a reunion. One of our buddies died five years ago.”
“Oh sorry. Was he killed in action?”
“No, but he’s dead because of it.”
Chris felt the tension building inside of his body. His mind was consumed with building anger. He didn’t care who died or how. All he could think about was what had happened to him since the last time he saw the man across from him. Seeing Bill reminded him of what life was like when he wasn’t hurting.

David was also struck by PTSD while serving with Bill. 

David Mac Donald strolled into the bar, tall, muscular, fiery red flowing hair with a scraggly beard. He looked more like an ancient Scottish warrior than he did when he was in the Army with cropped hair. David’s family moved from Scotland when he was going into high school and he joined the Army as soon as he graduated. When he walked over to the group, they all got up out of their chairs and hugged and then he saw Chris. “Oh my God! Nanos!” He walked over to him. As soon as he got a closer look at his eyes, he could see an all too familiar pain the fake smile couldn’t cover-up. He gave him a bear hug and whispered in his Scottish accent, “Your demon is in control for now. Time to take back your life like we did.”

“Hell of a way to end a marriage.”
“I thought it was the end but it wasn’t. The bitch stalked me after that. I wanted to get a restraining order but couldn’t find the balls to say my wife beat me. Anyway, she called me over and over again, showed up when I least expected it, and made my life hell.”
“Is that why you fell apart?”
“Yep. I was doomed because somehow she always found out where I was and who I was with. I couldn’t go anywhere.”
“What did all that do to you?”
“You know, with the wars I covered and getting blown up didn’t do as much damage to me as she did. I had nightmares and flashbacks, mood swings off the charts and so filled with anger, I had to go to the gym just to beat up a bag.”

These men joined forces with other survivors from different events to help Chris change the conversation about PTSD so that people will learn how to find the power within their minds to heal to the point of living a miracle! 

The Lost Son Alive Again Paperback is available now for Mental Health Month. And the ebook of The Lost Son Alive Again is coming out June 1st for PTSD Awareness Month.