Is your enemy within skin?

The things I survived were bad, but what was worse, was what I did to myself afterward. The things I heard in my head, made me beat myself up more than my ex-husband did. In other words, I did more damage to me long after I got away from him than he could ever do to me. #PTSD is what comes to those who survive and won't give up until we deliver the eviction notice in the form of compassion for ourselves.

This picture is Celia, the witch I think my bad voice in my head looks like. Her smug expression is when I give into whatever horrible thing she says I am as if she won something. The thing is, she may win for a time, and the tears come, but the "win" never lasts long. I refuse to surrender to the enemy within my skin.

This is a good article on what we do to ourselves after others did it first. If you take one thing away from this, I hope you realize that you do not have to surrender yourself to your Celia and have the power within you to heal the wounds created by others as much as you can heal the self-inflicted wounds you carry. 

Silencing Our Inner Critic After Attachment Trauma

How to overcome three common inner critic messages
Psychology Today
Annie Tanasugarn Ph.D., CCTSA
Posted January 28, 2023

KEY POINTS
One of the most common after-effects of childhood attachment trauma is the development of a harsh inner critic.
At the root of self-hate and self-neglect are conditioned beliefs that one isn't good enough to be loved or cared for.
Feelings of self-hate and self-neglect can generalize to self-sabotaging behavior where trauma enactment is likely.

One of the most common after-effects of childhood attachment trauma is the development of a harsh inner critic that replaces a person’s inner voice. By nature, we are hardwired to connect with others, which teaches us how to love and respect ourselves.

However, attachment trauma from abuse, neglect, abandonment, or invalidation forces a child to adapt to punitive environments where their sense of self becomes compromised. Instead of feeling connection and safety with those in their life, they learn survival mode. Instead of learning self-love and self-advocacy from a healthy upbringing, they forgo accepting themselves in exchange for compulsively trying to become what they believe their caregivers will want.

What Is Our Inner Critic?

Anyone can develop negative feelings towards their choices or behavior, especially in vulnerable moments. However, what separates negative feelings from a cruel inner critic is a sense of worthlessness at its core message. Negative feelings based on making a poor choice relate to guilt, whereas the messages connected to an inner critic relate to shame.

Thus, negative feelings associated with guilt may include a person saying, “I made a mistake,” whereas the message received from shame may include, “I am a mistake.”
read more here

The late Captain James ‘Dustin’ Samples of the Cleveland Fire Department may still save lives

TN lawmakers name act after firefighter who died after long PTSD battle

FOX 17 Nashville
by Sydney Keller
Monday, January 30th, 2023

"We can’t legislate away traumatic accidents and emergencies, but we can remove obstacles to getting support when firefighters need it. Addressing the crisis of PTSD and suicide in the fire service requires a commitment to both prevention and treatment from all stakeholders and that’s what SB856 aims to do."

Two Tennessee Republican lawmakers filed an act Monday which aims at providing support for firefighters who are diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

State Sen. Paul Bailey (R-Sparta) and Rep. Johnny Garrett (R-Goodlettsville) filed the James ‘Dustin’ Samples Act in honor of Captain James ‘Dustin’ Samples of the Cleveland Fire Department who sadly committed suicide in 2020 after a long-time battle with PTSD.

Sen. Bailey says that lawmakers owe it to firefighters and those who work to save lives to do all they can to prevent any risk of injury on the job.
read more here

Journalists vulnerable to trauma too!

If you are a reporter, this is why the main character of the Ministers Of The Mystery series was a reporter! This job you do is one of the lesser talked about causes of #PTSD and I thought it was time to remind people that reporters are only human too! The Scribe Of Salem is the first part and the eBook is free until the end of January. I hope you find some comfort in it! 

I covered murder-suicides, and learned how journalists were vulnerable to trauma

The Conversation
Norma Hilton
Global Journalism Fellow, University of Toronto
Published: January 25, 2023

The Canadian Journalism Forum on Violence and Trauma looked at the mental health of more than 1,200 journalists in late 2021. More than two-thirds suffered from anxiety, 46 per cent reported depression, and 15 per cent said they had experienced post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) over the past four years.

It never really dawned on me how vulnerable journalists were to trauma until I took a job as an investigative reporter. I spent most of 2021 and 2022 verifying, analyzing and writing stories about murder-suicides.

Every morning, I would make myself a cup of coffee in my New York City apartment, then sit down at my desk to pore over cases of murder-suicides — a total of 1,500 a year in the United States at the time.

I was consumed by my work. I was going through every news story about a specific murder-suicide, checking the accuracy of facts like the spelling of names, ages of the perpetrators and their victims and details of where the events occurred and how the murder-suicides were carried out. "" In one case, I spent a month working out the number of children killed by their parents in various parts of the country. When relatives I hadn’t seen in four years came to visit, I spent most of their trip elsewhere, interviewing with experts on gun and domestic violence.
read more here

Do you judge others?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 26, 2023

Do you judge others and if so, by what standards? By their actions, what they say, or how they look? By the color of their skin, income level, or where they live, or the language they speak? What is it that makes us form a judgment of anyone we do not really know?

People are claiming to be witches but are also Christians. It isn't up to me to judge what gifts God gave them or what they believe. As long as they are doing good for others, trying to help them, I'm good with that. Considering I've never really felt I fit in with what others consider "normal" I find them unique and fascinating.

If you have a problem with anyone calling themself a Christian Witch, then consider what the Bible says about gifts of the spirit and the list of things God chose some people to have.

Gifts of the Holy Spirit
1 Corinthians 12:1-11

12 Brothers and sisters, I want you to know about the gifts of the Holy Spirit. 2 You know that at one time you were unbelievers. You were somehow drawn away to worship statues of gods that couldn’t even speak. 3 So I want you to know that no one who is speaking with the help of God’s Spirit says, “May Jesus be cursed.” And without the help of the Holy Spirit, no one can say, “Jesus is Lord.”

4 There are different kinds of gifts. But they are all given to believers by the same Spirit. 5 There are different ways to serve. But they all come from the same Lord. 6 There are different ways the Spirit works. But the same God is working in all these ways and in all people.

7 The Holy Spirit is given to each of us in a special way. That is for the good of all. 8 To some people the Spirit gives a message of wisdom. To others, the same Spirit gives a message of knowledge. 9 To others the same Spirit gives faith. To others that one Spirit gives gifts of healing. 10 To others he gives the power to do miracles. To others, he gives the ability to prophesy. To others, he gives the ability to tell the spirits apart. To others, he gives the ability to speak in different kinds of languages they had not known before. And to still others he gives the ability to explain what was said in those languages. 11 All the gifts are produced by one and the same Spirit. He gives gifts to each person, just as he decides.

When the Bible addresses "witches" it is good to notice that when they are considered evil, it is because they are doing harmful things. When they are doing good, they are given acceptable titles like a healer,  or any of the above other gifts of the spirit.

One such person I follow on Facebook is called TruthSeekah. He doesn't look like what fits in with what some consider godly, but he speaks about the love of Jesus and God. 

Maybe people judge him because of what he looks like. Others may judge him because of the people he interviews. The thing is, he accepts others because we are all children of God.

I used to be part of a motorcycle group. Not as a biker but as a rider. I remember hearing people speak badly about bikers, especially when we were riding in packs. Sure I get how intimidating that can be, but we were judged by what we looked like and not what we were doing. Every time I was in one of those packs, we were heading to a fundraiser to help someone, or a charity to be able to help other people. Often they were patriotic rides, like escorting the Vietnam Memorial Traveling Wall to honor those who sacrificed their lives for the sake of this country. Oh, I forgot to mention that every member of the group was either a veteran or a member of law enforcement, or a firefighter. We were judged by what people saw.

I hope that you remember this the next time you are given the opportunity to learn about someone new you encounter and then wonder if they are judging you by the same standards you judge them by.

Judging Others
Matthew 7:1-5

7 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

SCOTUS: Veterans can't get retroactive benefits if they miss window

This article is only part of the story. The thing is, it has always been this way. Ask any veteran before reporters started to zero in on Afghanistan and Iraq veterans, and most had no clue what the hell came back with them from war.

I've been involved in this for 40 years and can tell you most of them had no clue what it was, what name it was called, or understood that waiting to "get over it" was the wrong idea. All they knew was how they changed from the person they were before they went into whatever war they fought. (Hell, most of us had no clue just living as survivors of what civilian life can do to us.)

I don't have a problem with the decision the Supreme Court made regarding a veteran trying to get compensation for #PTSD going back to the Gulf War. While that may shock some of you, the thing is, it has always been this way. I have more of a problem that our country forces the veteran to figure out what their service did to them within a year, instead of being proactive for the sake of the veteran.

The veteran had all the obligations to file claims and appeals on time but the VA doesn't seem to have the same obligation. If you are a veteran, do not fight them on your own. Their rules are rules for all veterans. The thing is, you don't have to fight them on your own. Turn to the DAV, VFW, or any of the other groups out there claiming they help with claims. Turn to your member of the House or Senate because they are supposed to have staff able to help veterans. 

Keep in mind,  you didn't fight the war alone and should have to fight this one alone now! Call in reinforcements!

Supreme Court is unusually late with first opinion of term

The Hill
BY ZACH SCHONFELD
01/23/23

The nine justices sided with the government’s position that veterans can’t receive retroactive disability benefits if they miss a one-year application window.

The Supreme Court handed down its first opinion of the term on Monday, ruling that a veteran who suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is not eligible for retroactive disability benefits after he missed a statutory window.

The ruling in some ways marked a return to normal, with the justices resuming the pre-pandemic tradition of announcing opinions live from the bench.

The case involved Adolfo Arellano, a U.S. Navy veteran who suffers from PTSD linked to trauma from his deployment to the Persian Gulf during the Iranian hostage crisis.

Although he missed the window to receive disability benefits retroactive to his discharge date, Arellano argued that the law is subject to equitable tolling, a doctrine that allows for extensions in extraordinary circumstances. Arellano’s attorneys argued he couldn’t meet the deadline because of his mental condition.

The justices ruled that Congress specifically provided that courts should not grant those types of extensions for the provision.
read more here