Veterans Day: Until you come and sit awhile with me

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 11, 2023

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary

When troubles come and my heart burdened be

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence

Until you come and sit awhile with me

Today is Veterans Day, well officially anyway. The thing is, we tend to forget that for them they are veterans every day of the year. They leave the service to our country after fighting her battles but their service never leaves them. They pay for it with their bodies, minds, and spirits. 

My husband is one of them. As his caregiver, I've seen what he goes through for over 40 years. When we were young it was hard, but we got through all of it together. We never imagined as we grew older, it would get harder, but it did.

I usually post on Veterans Day about them and families like mine. Today, while it is not so popular to do so, I want to post about those serving our veterans because they made the choice to focus on them.

We feel blessed to have had Department of Veterans Affairs employees helping us because we couldn't have made it without them. Yes, there are problems and horror stories within the VA system. For six years we experienced that first hand when his claim was tied up. That wasn't ten years ago, but over 20 years ago when before social media and when reporters didn't care enough to report what was going on. We were never alone in fighting for what he needed from them. He had great doctors who listened to him and when he couldn't fight for himself, they listened to me. They did all they could. No matter what state we lived in, we were not alone.

We are going through one of the worst times we've seen with an undiagnosed medical condition. It has been fighting for both of us. He requires my care 24-7 when he isn't in the hospital. That's why I haven't been posting much or even working on the next book. I can't do book signings or interviews to publicize the first three because I cannot leave him alone. At least that's why I tell myself but the truth is, I am drained physically, mentally, and emotionally. So is he. Even if I could find the time to focus on what I want to do for myself, I wouldn't be able to do it.

What I can't imagine is doing any of this without the VA Doctors, nurses, and other employees helping us. We feel blessed to know they are moving mountains out of our way and going above and beyond what their jobs are. Why do they do it? Because they have dedicated their lives to people like us.

I am a VA caregiver and found support, and understanding and have someone standing by my side so I can stand by his.

So on this Veterans Day, thank all veterans and families but also thank those who stand by our side every day of the year! You raise us up and give us the hope, support, and understanding we need "when troubles come and our hearts burdened be."

Local groups unite for PTSD awareness event

The Joplin Globe
Roger Nomer
November 3, 2023

As people remember veterans and their service at this time of year, several local organizations are holding a post-traumatic stress disorder awareness event. They say PTSD is an issue not just for veterans.

“PTSD is a community issue, and that’s why we made this a community event,” said Ted Donaldson, director of Compass Quest Veterans Advocacy Group. “We want to present information to people so that if they encounter someone who is struggling, they know where to refer them.”

The event’s core is the 2023 movie “Mending the Line.” It’s about an Afghanistan veteran with PTSD who uses fly-fishing as a form of therapy. Donaldson reached out to Holly Crane, co-owner of Bookhouse Cinema, for help getting the movie shown at the Joplin theater.

The PTSD awareness event will take place from 1 to 7 p.m. Sunday at Bookhouse Cinema, 715 Langston Hughes-Broadway in Joplin. It will start with a social time, and food will be available at Bookhouse. There will be a PTSD discussion panel with representatives from the Missouri Veterans Commission, the Department of Veterans Affairs, and other participating groups.
read more here

I consider this a step in the right direction. Reminding veterans they are still only human, and others end up with #PTSD too, is fantastic. It also helps the rest of us know we are not forgotten.

Maybe they should consider what worked to prevent military suicides?

Marine Corps Had Highest Active-Duty Suicide Rate of Any Service in 2022, Latest Data Shows

Military.com
By Drew F. Lawrence
31 Oct 2023

"What we can do is ensure that Marines know that it is OK to ask for help, it does not injure your career," Gen. Eric Smith, the commandant of the Marine Corps, said during the Military Reporters and Editors conference in Washington, D.C., last week when asked about the increased rate.

Recruits hike with ammo cans during a night movement and supply event during the Crucible aboard Marine Corps Depot Parris Island, Oct 3, 2019. (U.S. Marine Corps photo by Lance Cpl. Ryan Hageali)

The Marine Corps appeared to be struggling with suicide more than any other service branch over the past year, according to an annual Pentagon report on suicide data released last week.

It had the highest rate of active-duty suicides among all of the military services in 2022. The report, which measured the rates per 100,000 service members to account for the varying sizes of the different military branches, also reported that the Marine Corps had its highest suicide rate since 2011.
read the rest of this here

What can they do? Are they seriously asking the same question after all these years? Yes, and that is exactly how we ended up in the military community and the civilian world too. Just to remind you nothing civilians receive for mental health would be there had it not been for Vietnam veterans coming back, suffering, and fighting to get help to heal what they survived. They didn't do it just for their generation but for all generations. It is doubtful they even considered how much their efforts would help every survivor of traumatic events around the world, but they did it.

But here we are with leaders still asking, "What can we do?" Maybe they should consider what worked that was forgotten about? 

I remember when I first got into all of this over 4 decades ago. I heard the same logic back then from several veterans. They talked about what they went through and then reminded me of the things I survived. I figured there was hope for every survivor if they could understand how human they were to the point where they could connect to someone after what they survived. That's how you can tell them it's OK to not be OK and ask for help. That's how you connect them to other humans after trauma and we can help each other heal no matter what caused our pain. The other remarkable thing about veterans and members of the military is that they have it within them to risk their lives to save others. Safe bet they would be willing to help us heal and in the process, help themselves heal as well. After all, that's what heroes do!

If not, then we'll see what we've been seeing since 2012 when the average yearly suicide rate was around 500 a year.

Department of Defense Suicide Report

Peace "as far as it depends on you"

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 31, 2023

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."

That is from Romans 12:18 and that is what the people of Israel and Gaza want to do, were trying to do but others wanted to destroy any sense of peace. The desire to live your life in peace should not cost you your life, but it does.

There have been wars since the beginning of time for many different reasons. It was never about "faith," but people used the idea of faith as fuel to cause people to fight wars. They accused others of trying to take away what they believed fed hatred and that hatred energized vengeance.

The suffering and deaths they caused did not matter as long as those in charge got what they wanted.

Right now it is Israel trying to defend itself after Hamas decided to slaughter citizens in Israel. Bombing buses didn't achieve what they wanted it to. Sending bombs didn't cause as much death and destruction as they hoped. The people of Gaza are paying for what that group did and in return, the people of Israel are paying the price as well. It would be wonderful if both sides decided to invest planning, time, and money, on discovering a way to live side by side but neither side seems to want to give in on what they want out of it. The problem is, that they don't see living in peace as their goal. They want destruction.

And now we've arrived at a deplorable response from far too many blaming the people who were attacked for just trying to live a normal life, including enjoying a music festival. Brutality of Hamas attack seen at Israel morgue on CNN is a reminder of what happened to them.

They are being blamed for the response from their government. It doesn't matter if the people support what their government is doing or not, they are being attacked no matter where they live. What is happening in Gaza is terrible because the people are paying the price for what Hamas did. It doesn't matter if the people support Hamas or not because Hamas hides among the people without the ability to fight them. Hamas is not interested in peace any more than they are interested in taking care of the people living there.

What is the answer? It is the desire to live in peace becoming stronger than anything else. No parent wants their children to suffer, live in fear, or die because of what others do. It is heartbreaking to see the suffering in Israel as well as Gaza, but blaming the people is deplorable. Both sides will be paying the price for the rest of their lives as well as generations to come.

Read the reports of #PTSD caused by all of this and understand that this battle is being fought by people around the world and then understand that everyone is paying the price because PTSD is not limited to the survivors but to their entire families and friends.
 

To witness hatred spread around the world and people being targeted because of their heritage is something we've seen throughout history. All that was achieved by it was more suffering until more people decided to try to stop it. Where are those heroes now? Where are the people with the ability to see clearly what is happening and stop hatred from spreading? 

"Our veterans and first responders need help, and they need to be heard" and so do we

Hundreds turnout to run for first responders, veterans and law enforcement officers

ABC Action News
By: JJ Burton
Oct 22, 2023

“Our veterans and first responders need help, and they need to be heard,” she said. “Seeing how much this event grows every year just shows how much noise is being made for a cause that needs more concern.”

Hundreds showed up at Madeira Beach for a very important race, the Legends Never Die 5K. For the people racing, winning wasn’t the goal. “We are here to raise awareness about PTSD and mental health for first responders and our military,” said Fire Chief Clint Belk.

MADEIRA BEACH, Fla. — Hundreds showed up at Madeira Beach for a very important race, the Legends Never Die 5K.

For the people racing, winning wasn’t the goal.

“We are here to raise awareness about PTSD and mental health for first responders and our military,” said Fire Chief Clint Belk.

The department started the race three years ago with just their firefighters. Now, it’s grown to more than 300 people running with them.

“It’s great,” Kaylee Turner said. “This event means so much to me and my family.”
read more here

This is a good thing to do. Not trying to take away from helping them at all. It just makes me wonder what if they do something for everyone with #PTSD to show that if civilians can get hit by PTSD by just one event, those subjecting themselves to events all the time, can learn just how human they are!