This is usually why soldiers end up with PTSD

This is not the only way people end up with PTSD.

Most of the time, this is.

This is not the only way people end up with PTSD

Most of the time, this is. While some people run from danger, others run toward it because some needs help.  No one knew if other bombs would blow up.  All these folks cared about was someone was suffering.

This is usually why soldiers end up with PTSD.

Yuri Kozyrev / Noor for TIME. #6. Protection U.S. soldiers shield a wounded comrade from debris kicked up by a rescue helicopter during fighting in Qubah,

They care so much for each other, they are will to die. They expose themselves to the prospect of death on a daily basis while deployed. That can cause PTSD. The deepest wounds come because they care more about the others they are with, than for themselves.

Police and PTSD: Trained to shoot but not to cope

Clairmont: Trained to fire, but not to cope
The Spec.com
By Susan Clairmont
March 20, 2014

They are not even wearing a badge yet and already they are being warned of the mental toll the job may take.

They are told of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Of the stigma around it. Of the shame that is sometimes associated with it in the culture of policing — a world where strength and stoicism are often held up as ideals.

This blunt lecture from a retired cop with PTSD to a roomful of Mohawk College students on Wednesday — many of whom are considering a career in policing — is not intended to scare them away from the badge.

But it is a reality check.

"Do you really understand what you're getting yourself into?" asks Syd Gravel.

Gravel was an Ottawa police constable in 1987 when he was called to an armed robbery. Confronted by a suspect, Gravel repeatedly ordered him to show his hands. The man didn't reply and began turning toward him. Gravel believed the man had a gun. He fired a fatal shot.

Gravel went to the man's body. There was no gun.

"It absolutely devastated me that I made a decision to take a life and he wasn't armed."

The critical incident dropped Gravel into the pit of PTSD.
read more here

Paradise lost to veterans back home

Paradise lost to veterans back home
Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 22, 2013

“The mind is its own place,
and in itself can make
a heaven of hell,
a hell of heaven..”
John Milton, Paradise Lost

Noble reasons make them join. They use words like duty, honor, country but most of the time they discover it really wasn't about any of those. Why choose that duty? Why choose military life for honor? Why choose it for their country? There are so many other careers they could enter into that would serve all of those, yet they choose the hardest, most demanding and dangerous job they could do in order to serve.

The reason is discovered when they are asked why they were willing to die. It was for each other.

Presidents come and go but they stay. Wars are begun by Congress and they leave office but the deployed troops stay. For many, they never thought of doing anything else with their lives. For others, as with draftees up to the Gulf War, "fate" was used to explain why they didn't refuse orders.

Wars can be a mistake and leaders can regret their decisions to start them. The people can regret supporting the belief that the cause was worth the lives that would be lost and the thousands of lives forever changed along with the treasury spent but their regrets come with a heavy price. A price that cannot simply be forgotten as their attention moves onto other things, as if they had no obligation of their own to the men and women they sent.

When troops were sent into Iraq, the American public and politicians no longer talked of troops in Afghanistan and the media focused on Iraq. Protestors took the streets against the Iraq war but no one held signs for Afghanistan even though thousands of troops remained there from many nations.

While the war in Iraq ended, troops remain in Afghanistan. The general public soured on Iraq long before the last troops left with few remaining there and now it appears they have changed their minds about Afghanistan as well. 66% think sending troops into Afghanistan was not worth the price paid but the true price paid will not be tallied until those sent are all laid to rest.

“Innocence, Once Lost,
Can Never Be Regained.
Darkness, Once Gazed Upon,
Can Never Be Lost.”
John Milton

The American people forget too easily but the troops cannot. They cannot forget the lives of those they served side by side with. They cannot forget the scars on their bodies or the cuts to their souls. They cannot forget that once they heard cheers as they left this land but returned to silence, ambivalence and ignorance. The nation was not committed to either war, asked to pay no price, shown no reminder of what they asked of them so it was easy to forget them.

“Silence was pleased.”

John Milton

We settled. We settled for the Department of Defense telling us that they were doing everything to take care of them as the number of suicides and attempted suicides went up even though the number of enlisted personnel declined. We settled when they told us that most of the suicides were not tied to deployments but did not ask what was so wrong with their mental health evaluations for recruits they missed mental illness before handing them weapons. We settled when their "resilience" training was not even enough to help the non-deployed stay alive. We settled for the congress spending billions on what was clearly not working and refusing to hold one single hearing on who was to be held accountable.

“Our cure,

to be no more;

sad cure! ”

John Milton, Paradise Lost

As the number of servicemen and women suicides went up, so did the number of veterans. They survived combat doing whatever it took to stay alive, enduring hardship after hardship, longing for home and creature comforts. Families thought they could stop worrying about lives being ended just when they had more reason to worry and in ignorance expected their veteran to just get over where they were sent and what they had to do as much as they were expected to forget what they felt.

“Gratitude bestows reverence

changing forever how we experience life

and the world.”

John Milton

What is gratitude worthy of their actions? It is allowing them to mourn and remember at time in their lives when others mattered more to them than their own lives. To support the fact that the purest form of love lived within them even during the horrors of war. That they were willing for a time to die for the sake of someone else. Willing to pay any price for what few others dared to do. Veterans are a mere 7% of the population of this nation. We are not expected to know what it was like for them but we are expected to at least understand what makes then so different from us.

“What is dark
within me,
illumine.”
John Milton, Paradise Lost

They experience the horrors of war and it consumes them so powerfully they cannot turn their eyes to gaze upon the selflessness surrounding them. That hand that reached out to comfort. The tear that was shed for a stranger. The prayer that was sent up to God for the wounded. The picture that was held of a hand fading from this earth. Love lived within them and still does back home but they cannot see it. They cannot see that they grieve because they loved. They are tormented because the goodness within them still lives and they have not become that which they fear most, evil.

That kind of love comes from great strength because it is not greatness or riches they sought. It was answering the question of why they were sent here compelled to use everything within them for others.

Greater love hath
no man than this
that a man lay down
his life for his friends.

John 15:13

To heal their souls is to heal others because they do not stop putting others first. They turn around, reach out their hands and help another veteran find peace to live a life of purpose. It is to heal the families of others not able to find the will to live on and to prevent others from enduring that wordless grief.

“...freely we serve,

Because we freely love

as in our will

To love or not in this we stand or fall:”

John Milton

Survivor Guilt "For some reason, I’m alive and he’s not"

'For some reason, I’m alive and he’s not'
PRESENT-TRAUMATIC STRESS
Stars and Stripes
Martin Kuz
December 1, 2013

ESPANDI, Afghanistan — The Polish sergeant took one step off the dirt path that the U.S. soldiers ahead of him had scanned for buried bombs. Those few inches marked the line between Jan Kiepura’s life and death. His foot triggered an improvised explosive device that forever separated him from his wife and two sons.

First Lt. Joshua Fosher was 15 feet in front of him; Capt. Dusty Turner was about as far behind. The distance saved the two Americans from his fate. Yet they were casualties in a less obvious sense. The blast inflicted hidden wounds, physical and psychological, that lingered long after Kiepura returned to Poland in a metal box.

Fosher and Turner suffered brain injuries that were slow to heal, injuries that magnified the mental trauma of their close exposure to death. Their ordeal resembles that of thousands of U.S. troops affected by brain injuries during the war in Afghanistan, now 12 years old, and the eight-year war in Iraq that ended in 2011.

In the weeks after the blast, as the two soldiers continued to endure the rigors of a nine-month deployment, they searched for order amid war’s uncertainty.

“He was there, then he wasn’t,” said Fosher, 26, of Exeter, N.H., referring to Kiepura. “When you realize how fast that can happen, it makes you aware in a very real way how everything can end.”

It is an awareness that, for each man, remains bereft of answers.

“For some reason, I’m alive and he’s not,” said Turner, 28, of Center Point, Texas. “For some reason, God allowed me to be here. I have no idea why.”
read more here

Marine vet finds purpose in the cage

MMA: Marine vet finds purpose in the cage
UT San Diego
By Dennis Lin
DEC. 2, 2013

It might seem an unusual pairing: PTSD and MMA.

Yet both have become part of Shane Kruchten's reality, their indelible connection written in ink.

On the Marine Corps veteran's back are the names of 19 fallen soldiers. Fifteen of them died in 2004, during the battle for Fallujah, Iraq. Every time Kruchten steps into the cage, he is a walking, fighting memorial.

"I deal with a lot of survivor's guilt," Kruchten said, "so I wanted them to know, they had my back, I'll always have theirs. I never want people to forget the price of freedom."

Kruchten, 29, discovered the cost of war more than a decade ago. The Oshkosh, Wis., native graduated high school early and, acting on a lifelong sense of duty, enlisted in the Marines at 17. Stationed at Camp Pendleton, he dreamed of serving for 20 years.

That dream was cut short at three. In 2004, an IED blast left him with a traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder.
read more here

Blessed are the peacemakers

Blessed are the peacemakers
Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 28, 2013

"Blessed are the peacemakers" as well they should be. They possess every attribute in the list Christ said would be blessed.

Matthew 5 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

He said:

3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
After you come home it is very hard for you to remember the reason you went. It was to save the lives of the others you were with.
4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
If you mourn or grieve for the loss and over the horrors you endured, then you shall be comforted for the love you were able to keep alive inside of you. If you did not love, if you did not care, you would not mourn and grieve.
5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Being meek does not make you weak. You did what you had to do when you had to do it and then, then you fought no more.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
You hunger and thirst for a day when all mankind lives together and wars will be fought no more. You know the price paid all too well.
7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
You showed mercy to those you were with and even to the people you did not trust.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
No man is pure but some are pure in heart when they do not seek riches and glory for themselves but do what they are compelled to do for the sake of others.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
You are peacemakers and keepers because you were prepared to stop when your job was done and prayed for peace in the land you stood in.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Your actions were for a righteous sake because it was for the sake of the others you were with.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.
There are some that want to accuse you. Some want to walk away from you. Some want to ignore you but when you look around you'll see what was inside you the day you decided to serve and that came from a place of love, honor, courage and compassion.
12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
John 15 13

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.

This you were willing to do.
So why do so many veterans feel cursed instead of blessed? Why is it so hard for you to understand the very fact you mourn is a reflection of that same ability to care that allowed them to be able to risk your lives for someone else?

Everything you need to heal is inside of you already. All you need to do is seek help to reconnect to it and see.

'Army Wives': Tim Nearly Kills His Wife While Suffering Through PTSD

I am not ashamed to admit I am a fan of Army Wives. I have been since it started. Friends make fun of it but I can't help it, I like it. Last night a young soldier suffering from PTSD and survivor guilt had a bad nightmare and in the process, repeated strangling someone to death. In reality, his hands were on his wife's throat. It was pretty powerful and it is something that does happen more times than most people know about. More wives are punched out over waking up a veteran from a nightmare in striking distance and end up calling 911. The veteran is arrested all too often ending up in jail over domestic violence and the spouse is left in shock. In a perfect world, the wife is safe while the veteran receives treatment and she is supported to understand what happened. This is not a perfect world and too many face fates left up to commanding officers.

'Army Wives': Tim Nearly Kills His Wife While Suffering Through PTSD
(VIDEO)
Huffington Post
Posted: 06/03/2013

A frightening scene that was all too real for many veterans and soldiers on "Army Wives." Tim was still readjusting to live back on base, but he was also struggling with some rather serious post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

In one scene he was dreaming that he was choking a man only to have the scene cut to the real world and find him choking his wife, Holly, in their bed. She was pleading with him to stop between desperate gasps for air. Luckily, she was able to get through to him in time.

TV Fanatic said that this storyline sends the message that 18-year-olds may not be ready to fight our wars. "We're essentially saying you're old enough to protect your country but not relieve your stress with a beer," they wrote. "'[Tim's] PTSD is beyond the help of friends and fellow soldiers, and if Holly doesn't demand he seek help, there could be a time when she doesn't live through the night. That's pretty heady stuff.”

While the storyline does tap into things that are really going on in the world, there is encouraging news. According to a study released this spring, the Army says that 80 percent of its soldiers diagnosed with PTSD remain on active duty and can be treated.
read more here

Making peace after trauma comes with knowing the different types

Making peace after trauma comes with knowing the different types
by Kathie Costos
Wounded Times Blog
April 21, 2013

It does not just happen. It does not take time to heal all wounds. It takes a lot of work but what has happened after men and women are out of combat zones proves what does not work. "Resilience" during combat is one thing but expecting it to work on preventing PTSD is a deadly notion.

I was reading this article about "Mindfullness"

"New study from University of Michigan, VA Ann Arbor Healthcare System shows group mindfulness activities have positive effect on PTSD symptoms."

First, it is not new in the world of psychiatry but it may be new to University of Michigan. Part of PTSD is the loss of ability to calm down. The function of the human body has been compromised by the constant stress of combat, multiple traumas topped off with the treat of them happening again. In other words, the body learned how to survive on "alert" and it needs to learn how to calm down again. 

It claims that,

"After eight weeks of treatment, 73 percent of patients in the mindfulness group displayed meaningful improvement compared to 33 percent in the treatment-as-usual groups."

Sounds great but any help can make people feel better when it comes to PTSD because as soon as they start talking about it, it stops getting worse. What this study does not address is the longterm.

There are three components to healing. One is the mind and that requires a trauma specialist to respond right after "it" hits the "fan" and then the event is not allowed to take over. This does not have to be a "professional" but can be done with someone trained to respond the right way. Someone who will not dismiss or minimize what the serviceman or woman is experiencing. Someone who is trained to stay away from the wrong choice of words. I've actually heard people try to "fix" someone by saying "God only gives us what we can handle." That ends up enforcing what they already think. People walk away from trauma either believing they are one lucky SOB or they just got nailed by God. God either saved them or did it to them. If they believe God did it to them, then bingo, they just heard they were right and God gave it to them. I have also heard well trained crisis responders do it to perfection. They listened right, saying very little and with compassion. They focused on the person they were helping. Not taking phone calls, checking their watch or looking around the room as if they had something better to do.

If that doesn't happen then you need to have a mental health professional but even that is an issue if they are not trauma specialists. Otherwise they get it wrong too. Psychiatrists and psychologist come with the same issues. If they are not experts on what trauma does, they get it wrong. If they are not specialists there is also the issue of many not believing PTSD is real even though brain scans have shown the changes in the brain. Some of them know so little all they offer is medication as if "they have a pill for that" is the answer to everything. Medication numbs. It does not heal. There is also the issue of many medications coming with a warning they could increase suicidal thoughts being prescribed. The right ones can work to calm things down enough so the other part of treatment can start to work.

The body is the second part that needs to be treated. Everything is being drained by flashbacks, nightmares following a year of being constantly on edge. The body has to relearn soothing and calming down. There are many ways to get there. Yoga, meditation, martial arts, writing, swimming, walking and playing a musical instrument help with that as long as they can train themselves to focus on what they are doing and not the negative thing that happened to them. If they start to think of the events they survived, they need to push it out and think of what they are doing.

The other, and I think the most important part of healing, is spiritual. Forgiving. Knowing they are forgiven for whatever they feel they need to be forgiven for and forgiving whomever they have to forgive. That is not up to anyone to judge or dismiss. It is the only way they being to make peace with what happened. With combat and a close cousin law enforcement, it is not just surviving the event. Often it is participating in it with the use of weapons.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a friend about being confused over something I said about this. It is a good time to clarify. There are different causes of PTSD but all are being diagnosed and treated the same way. They treat someone surviving a hurricane (one time event) the same way they treat a rape victim even though a hurricane always comes with a warning but rape does not. The threat of something happening again or not is part of what has to happen in therapy. Something that happens in a natural disaster is not man made. Rape is. It is done to the person by another person's actions. Worrying about it happening again is part of what PTSD does. Then the human issue of forgiving comes into it. Forgiving their attacker while seeking justice is tricky. It requires a lot of work to do that but once it is done, life gets better not carrying that burden on top of everything else.

Abuse is another one especially when you live with the person. For me it was my Dad, a violent alcoholic until I was 13. Then my ex-husband tried to kill me. Huge difference between what nature does and what people do.

They treat someone with PTSD after a car accident the same way as the other three even though the threat to them is the repeated every time they get into a vehicle. Again it is the human factor of someone causing the trauma or worse, when they caused it.

Firefighters are another different group. They put their lives on the line everyday and when they are not rushing to a fire, they are waiting for it. They don't know when the next alarm bell will ring. The friend I talked to yesterday is involved with firefighters. He told me that some of them are armed when we were talking about how cops and military folks use weapons. (That is something we can explore later as I learn more about that aspect.) For the average firefighter, again, there is a huge difference between the type of PTSD they get hit with because of the nature of the trauma, the threat to their lives and concern for facing it all over again. There is survivor guilt when they couldn't save someone or when one of their friends die in the line of duty.

We are all talking about the bombs in Boston last week and people seeking things no one should have to see because other humans decided to do it and others decided to help afterwards. They will have a lot to deal with on a whole different level. It is close to what firefighters/first responders face on a daily basis. Lives on the line and seeing things no one should have to see but they know someone has to do it.

Then you have police officers and the troops. Cops know the risk every time they clock in but they get to go home at the end of their shift. The troops don't while they are deployed into combat zones. The troops get to go back to the states away from combat, but cops have to get up and do it all over again everyday. (Getting how complicated all this is yet?) Both groups have to use force and become part of the event itself. The nature of the trauma is much different for them from the other groups and they have to be treated differently.

Then you also have the secondary stressor. I had a DEA agent years ago contact me because he was worried about losing his security clearance. He was a combat veteran and had been through a lot working on both jobs yet it was not until his younger brother was killed in Iraq that it hit him like a ton of bricks. What he discovered was he was pushing past mild PTSD and not addressing it. He was not ready when he was hit by the event that was the thing to wake up sleeping PTSD.

That is something that is happening right now after the bombings in Boston. People will react differently when they go out in public and need help right now. The victims will need a different kind of help. For the responders, they will need help too. Yet if they are treated the same way, then they will need a lot more help then they would have if they are treated properly right now.

There are experts who are not experts in trauma, but there are experts in trauma that I learned from over all these years. They are out there and those are the people who should be running the studies like the one you just read about. They are the ones who should be listened to if we are ever going to get any of this right. If we keep listening to the ones doing the talking most of the last 40 years, the ones getting the attention and funding, then we are all screwed.

They say take care of all parts of the survivors of trauma with their minds, bodies and spirits and then you have healing. Otherwise we have the history of PTSD being repeated.

The Robe, epic movie on healing Combat PTSD

The Robe, epic movie on healing Combat PTSD
by Kathie Costos
Wounded Times Blog
April 1, 2013

One of my favorite Easter movies was on last night, The Robe. I love old movies especially movies telling the story of Christ. This one is very different from the others because it explores a side of what few others do.

It tells the story of one of the Romans responsible for nailing Christ's hands and feet to the Cross. It is also an epic movie on healing Combat PTSD. It was made before I was even born.

The Robe is not your typical Easter movie but above that it is not your typical Post Traumatic Stress Disorder movie either.
The Robe was released in 1953 but when you watch it, you notice the connection to our modern knowledge of war and PTSD.
This is the basic plot.

"Marcellus is a tribune in the time of Christ. He is in charge of the group that is assigned to crucify Jesus. Drunk, he wins Jesus' homespun robe after the crucifixion. He is tormented by nightmares and delusions after the event. Hoping to find a way to live with what he has done, and still not believing in Jesus, he returns to Palestine to try and learn what he can of the man he killed. Written by John Vogel"

In the first scene, Marcellus Gallo (played by Richard Burton) is a hot headed Tribune is arguing with woman. It is clear he only cares about himself until he reconnects with his childhood sweetheart, Diana (Jean Simmons) and he softens as soon as he realizes who she is.

Marcellus had gone to a slave auction because he wanted to buy set of beautiful twins but ended up in a bidding war with Caligula (Jay Robinson) and out bided by him. The next slave to be offered was Demetrius (Victor Mature) a Greek warrior. Marcellus and Caligula get into another biding war over him and Marcellus wins setting off Caligula's rage.

Just when you think Marcellus is a jerk, he has the handcuffs taken off Demetrius, tells him where he lives then trusts him to just go there.

Because Caligula was so angry, orders arrived for Marcellus to go to Jerusalem. Diana promised to go to Emperor Tiberius to have the orders changed.

Marcellus set sail and arrived on Palm Sunday as Jesus was being greeted with the palms and crowds. Demetrius had never heard of Him before that day. Soon orders came to have Jesus arrested. Demetrius heard about the orders and tried to warn him but he was too late.

Pontius Pilate had new orders for Marcellus as soon as he did one duty before he left. Crucify Christ. Marcellus won Christ's robe so when the storm began, he told Demetrius to put it over him. Immediately Marcellus freaked out believing the robe had a spell on it. Demetrius screamed at Marcellus and cursed him. From that moment one Marcellus was tormented.

Marcellus was an expert war fighter in hand to hand combat and the sword. He was no coward and a loyal Roman soldier. He felt guilt over the death of Christ, His blood on his hands and the fact Christ did not deserve to die that way. He felt responsible for killing an innocent man.

Emperor Tiberius had compassion for Marcellus and sent him to find the Robe believing it had magical powers and Marcellus could only be restored to sanity by it.

Marcellus' family loved him but could not understand what he was going through and he had the love of Diana to support him.

While searching for the Robe, Marcellus learned what forgiving, charity and compassion were all about and his transformation began as he saw things differently. Reunited with Demetrius and the Robe, Marcellus finally understood what Christ meant when He said in his last moments, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do."

If you are suffering from Combat PTSD or love someone who is, this is a great way to discover what it is, why it is and how to heal.

To lay down his life for the sake of his friends

Last week I wrote two posts on healing and survivors guilt.Walking Point out of PTSD darkness and "It should have been you" said dying Marine Looking for more details to put into my new book, THE WARRIOR SAW, SUICIDES AFTER WAR, I found one going back to a month after I started this blog. Considering yesterday I celebrated the fact this blog has been read 1 million times, I thought it would be good to share it with some of the new readers.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Kathie Costos for Wounded Times
To lay down his life for the sake of his friends.

Do you think God abandoned you still? Come on and admit that while you were in the center of the trauma, you either felt the hand of God on your shoulder, or more often, never felt further from Him. In natural disasters, we pray to God to protect us. Yet when it's over we wonder why He didn't make the hurricane hit someplace else or why the tornadoes came and destroyed what we had while leaving the neighbors house untouched. We wonder why He heals some people while the people we love suffer. It is human nature to wonder, search for answers and try to understand.

In times of combat, it is very hard to feel anything Godly. Humans are trying to kill other humans and the horrors of wars become an evil act. The absence of God becomes overwhelming. We wonder how a loving God who blessed us with Jesus, would allow the carnage of war. We wonder how He could possibly forgive us for being a part of it. For soldiers, this is often the hardest personal crisis they face.

They are raised to love God and to be told how much God loves them. For Christians, they are reminded of the gift of Jesus, yet in moments of crisis they forget most of what Jesus went through.

Here are a few lessons and you don't even have to go to church to hear them. ( Matthew 8:5-13)
As he entered Caper'na-um, a centurion came forward to him, beseeching him and saying, "Lord, my servant is lying paralyzed at home, in terrible distress." And he said to him, "I will come and heal him." But the centurion answered him, "Lord, I am not worthy to have you come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant will be healed. For I am a man under authority, with soldiers under me; and I say to one, 'Go,' and he goes, and to another, 'Come,' and he comes, and to my slave, 'Do this,' and he does it." When Jesus heard him, he marveled, and said to those who followed him, "Truly, I say to you, not even in Israel have I found such faith. I tell you, many will come from east and west and sit at table with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven, while the sons of the kingdom will be thrown into the outer darkness; there men will weep and gnash their teeth." And to the centurion Jesus said, "Go; be it done for you as you have believed." And the servant was healed at that very moment.

This sounds like a great act Jesus did. You think about the Roman Centurion, powerful, commanding, able to lead men into combat, perhaps Jesus even knew of the other men this Centurion has killed. Yet this same man, capable of killing, was also capable of great compassion for what some regarded as a piece of property, his slave. He showed he didn't trust the pagan gods the Romans prayed to but was willing to trust Jesus.

Yet when you look deeper into this act, it proves that Jesus has compassion for the warriors. The life and death of Jesus were not surprises to Him. He knew from the very beginning how it would end. This is apparent throughout the Old Testament and the New Testament. He knew He would be betrayed, beaten, mocked, humiliated and nailed to the cross by the hands of Romans. Yet even knowing this would come, He had compassion for this Roman soldier. The Romans had tortured and killed the Jews since the beginning of their empire as well as other conquered people. The Roman soldiers believed in what they were doing, yet even with that, there was still documentation of them suffering for what they did.

Ancient historians documented the illness striking the Greeks, which is what we now call Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There is evidence this illness hit every generation of warriors. Jesus would be aware that saving the Centurion's slave, because of the faith and trust He placed in Jesus, would be reported from soldier to soldier. Jesus showed compassion even to the Romans. How can we think that He would not show compassion to today's soldiers? How can we think that He would look any differently on them than He did toward the soldiers who would nail Him to the Cross?

God didn't send you into combat. Another human did. God however created who you are inside. The ability to be willing to lay down your life for the sake of others was in you the day you were born. While God allows freewill, for good and for evil, He also has a place in His heart for all of His children. We humans however let go of His hand at the time we need to hold onto it the most.

When tragedy and trauma strike, we wonder where God was that He allowed it to happen. Then we blame ourselves. We do the "if" and " but" over and over again in our own minds thinking it was our fault and the trauma was a judgment from God. Yet we do not consider that God could very well be the reason we survived it all. PTSD is a double edge cut to the person. The trauma strikes the emotions and the sense that God has abandoned us strikes at the soul. There is no greater sense of loss than to feel as if God has left you alone especially after surviving trauma and war. If you read the passage of Jesus and the Roman, you know that this would be impossible for God to do to you. Search your soul and you will find Him still there. For the last story on this we have none other than the Arch Angel Michael, the warrior angel. If God did not value the warrior for the sake of good, then why would He create a warrior angel and make him as mighty as he was?

Michael has a sword in one hand and a scale in the other. God places things in balance for the warriors.

And in John 15:

12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.

When it comes to waging war, issuing orders, God will judge the hearts and minds of those who sent you and He will also know yours. If you feel you need to be forgiven, then ask for it and you will be forgiven. Yet if you know in your heart the basis of your service was that of the willingness to lay down your life for your friends, then ask to be healed. Know this. That if Jesus had the compassion for a Roman how could He have any less compassion for you?

Because the military is in enough trouble already trying to evangelize soldiers for a certain branch of Christianity, understand this is not part of that. It's one of the benefits of having I don't care what faith you have or which place of worship you attended. If you were a religious person at any level before combat, your soul is in need of healing as well. There is a tremendous gift when the psychological healing is combined with the spiritual healing. If you have a religious leader you can talk to, please seek them out.

If you doubt this, the top post on Wounded Times is "For those I love I will sacrifice" and has been read over 35,000.

If you don't have one, or one who will listen to you, call me at 407-754-7526 or email me woundedtimes@aol.com.

If you don't want to talk to a woman than go to Point Man International Ministries site and use the drop down menu for OUTPOSTS find your state and contact them.

"It should have been you" said dying Marine

When I was writing the post Walking Point out of PTSD there was the story of a Marine that was haunting me. I would have added it but it took a while to figure out how to begin to do this story justice.

Friday I received a call from a woman trying to help a Marine heal from PTSD and survivor guilt. He watched a lot of his buddies die but one of them was almost too much for him to cope with.

They were in a Humvee when an IED went off. His buddy was laying in his arms and with his last breath, he said, "It should have been you." The Marine had just switched seats so he could see the map better. Imagine that. Imagine watching a friend die knowing you were sitting in the seat where he was killed just moment before. Then imagine your buddy blamed you for it. No chance to change his mind, change his words, no time to make sense out of what happened. He died that quickly.

How do you make sense out of it? How do you find peace after hearing those words? It may seem impossible but it is a story that has been told and retold since the beginning of war. One lives, one dies but it is the one who lived that carries the burden of the life lost.

No, God didn't need another angel. No, it wasn't his time to die. No, it wasn't God only gives us what we can handle. No, it wasn't about some kind of cosmic judgment. It happened. It happens in war. It also happens when someone listens to the urge to more out of the way inexplicably. It happens the way most things happen, on accident and not on purpose. The surviving Marine thinks his buddy was worth more than he was. He thinks his buddy had more right to live because his buddy had kids while he did not. So now he thinks he shouldn't have lived.

A soldier was sick one night in Iraq when he was supposed to be in a convoy. His buddy took his place jokingly telling the sick soldier, "You owe me one" as he walked away. Later that night when the other soldiers came back, one soldier walked over to him laying down and blamed him for the death of the soldier that replaced him. "He's dead because of you." He had been shot in the seat the sick soldier would have been in.

For my husband's nephew, it was a road in Vietnam. He went out on a sweep before he and his buddies had to go on patrol. He stopped to tie his boot when the bomb went off, killing both of his friends. Had he not stopped to tie his boot, he would have been in between them. The shrapnel in his body was the least of the wounds he carried from that dark day. It haunted him the rest of his life.

He got addicted to heroin. Back home he was involved in a drug deal that went bad. He didn't do the shooting but still went to jail. Afterwards it took years to get his life back together and even longer to get help from the VA. They didn't have veterans courts back then so he was among the thousands of Vietnam veterans put in jail instead of treatment. Anyway, Andy's claim was approved by the VA, he started getting help, got clean, fell in love again and was getting his life on track. He was having some problems with his back. The VA sent him for an MRI even though he had the shrapnel in him. It was canceled at the last minute. Around the same time the DOD sent him the records he asked for but was told his unit never existed. That was the last thing he needed to hear. It meant that his buddies died but he lived with that pain and now, apparently, for no reason.

He bought enough heroin to kill ten men, went to a motel, locked the door and pushed furniture against it. The next day, they broke into his room and found his body.

These are some of the wounds they carry with them no one sees but them in the middle of the night and haunting their days.

How many times do you hear the term "survivor guilt" and can't understand how deep that pain goes?

For the Marine in the first story, the soldier in the second and my husband's nephew, the stories are the same because people say the wrong things at the wrong times without thinking how those words will be heard. They want to make sense out of it so when they hear those words, that is the answer they live with the rest of their lives.

It is up to us to find the right words to help them to heal and that, that must be done without the quick-fix-shoot-from-the-hip crap they have been hearing far too often.

Don't try to explain what cannot be explained. You need to explain to them only what can be and the most important thing they need to hear. How to heal, how to forgive, how to forgive themselves and heal the pain they carry.

Marine Squad's Lone Survivor Opens Up About Life After War

A Marine Squad's Lone Survivor
On August 3, 2005, Marine Lance Corporal Travis Williams lost his entire squad in an explosion in Iraq. Seven years later, the noise from his work making custom knives helps him drown out the memories. WSJ's Michael M. Phillips reports.

UK soldier committed suicide while on leave from Afghanistan

The soldier who took his own life while on leave from Afghanistan
The Independent
JONATHAN OWEN
SUNDAY 20 JANUARY 2013

Just two years after his friend William Aldridge, 18, was fatally wounded in an IED explosion in Afghanistan, becoming the youngest British soldier to die there, Rifleman Allan Arnold took his own life. The 20-year-old was on leave and staying with his sister Abigail, 23, in Cirencester, when he was found dead.

She recalls the last thing he ever said to her: “‘Don’t lock the door as I will be coming straight back, I’ll see you in a bit’. Allan was walking someone home who had had too much to drink and he knew how much I hated leaving my front door unlocked when I was going to bed.”

But he never came back and was later found hanging from a tree on the edge of Cirencester.

But Allan returned from Afghanistan “a broken man, a man who had traumatic flashbacks that on one occasion had resulted in hospitalisation, and he barely slept for the fear of ‘going back there’.”

Her brother started drinking heavily and “barely talked about his tour, only when he was drunk and of a certain state of mind. Even then he spoke more of his guilt about surviving and being uninjured than of what actually happened. He’d said a couple of times that it should have been him who had died not his mates. It was hard hearing this, and equally as hard seeing him cry over a hallucination of his mate William Aldridge - whom Allan said was standing in our family kitchen smiling and looking at him.”
read more here

Combat survivors spouse surviving guilt

Combat survivors spouse surviving guilt
by Kathie Costos
Wounded Times Blog
January 19, 2013

The subject of "survivor guilt" has made the news lately and rightfully so because it is a huge part of Combat PTSD. What does not get talked about is when the spouse ends up with it because the veteran has committed suicide or they had to end their marriage. Most of the time they had no knowledge of what PTSD was, what it was doing to their veteran and family other than it was being destroyed by the veteran. The more I learned, the easier it was to stay with mine.

Like many my husband enlisted in the Army, left for Fort Jackson and ended up with the 101st in Vietnam. He left as a civilian even though he came from a military family. His Dad served in the Army in WWII along with three uncles. The uncle he's named after was a Marine, killed in Saipan My husband did not come home as a civilian. He came home as a combat veteran with a year of memories from Phu Bai. By the time we met, he had been home for 10 years. He was also getting divorced from his first wife.

For me, my uncles served in WWII and my Dad was a 100% disabled Korean War veteran, so when he met Jack, he spotted what came home with him. My Dad called it "shell shock" so I did my research and understood what it was. No amount of research told me that mild PTSD would get worse untreated. He didn't want to go to the VA no matter how much my Dad told him he needed to. He wouldn't listen to me. He was listening to his Dad. His Dad said the "VA is for guys that can't work" not for him. Back then, he could work. He was doing ok with the nightmares and flashbacks, the twitches and mood swings. Then the secondary stressor hit pushing his mild PTSD into full blown.

Back then, families like mine suffered in silence. It was something no one talked about. It was something even less understood. What wives like me were told was just get a divorce. Veterans like my husband were thought of as just being "jerks" "druggies" and "alcoholics" destroying their families. My Mom knew that part well since my Dad was also a violent alcoholic until I was 13.

You need to remember that no one knew what was going on from state to state because no one had computers to read any news reports. Isolation was easy because Vietnam was not like WWII when everyone knew at least one veteran. Few knew a Vietnam veteran and what they ended up reading in the newspapers was usually bad. After all, reporters had no clue what life was like for them so when they were arrested, committed suicide or got divorced, they got blamed and no one blamed Vietnam. Extended families blamed them for marriages falling apart and many wives had no support to understand what was going on, so they blamed them too.

Even today with all the reports and research done on combat and PTSD, too many are left with little understanding. They still don't have what they need to get through all of this. I get emails and phone calls from spouses and parents. They tell me they just didn't know about any of this and then they feel guilty they didn't do things differently. They had no choice. No one gave them the information to have options and tools to cope. They made things worse because they didn't know any better. The mistakes I made with my own husband are too many to count but the more I knew, the more I understood and the more I was able to help him and in turn, myself. Everyday I do this work because I remember what it was like when I had no one to talk to, no place to get support to do it and above all, felt totally alone. For every veteran I help, I'm helping my husband when no one else would. When I help a family I am helping my own when no one else would.

This report from Mother Jones goes a long way toward bringing understanding for the forgotten warriors in all of this. The families on the front lines of the home front.

Is PTSD Contagious?
It's rampant among returning vets—and now their spouses and kids are starting to show the same symptoms.
Mother Jones
By Mac McClelland
January/February 2013 Issue

BRANNAN VINES HAS NEVER BEEN to war. But she's got a warrior's skills: hyperawareness, hypervigilance, adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning for danger, for triggers. Super stimuli-sensitive. Skills on the battlefield, crazy-person behavior in a drug store, where she was recently standing behind a sweet old lady counting out change when she suddenly became so furious her ears literally started ringing. Being too cognizant of every sound—every coin dropping an echo—she explodes inwardly, fury flash-incinerating any normal tolerance for a fellow patron with a couple of dollars in quarters and dimes. Her nose starts running she's so pissed, and there she is standing in a CVS, snotty and deaf with rage, like some kind of maniac, because a tiny elderly woman needs an extra minute to pay for her dish soap or whatever.

Brannan Vines has never been to war, but her husband, Caleb, was sent to Iraq twice, where he served in the infantry as a designated marksman. He's one of 103,200, or 228,875, or 336,000 Americans who served in Iraq or Afghanistan and came back with PTSD, depending on whom you ask, and one of 115,000 to 456,000 with traumatic brain injury. It's hard to say, with the lack of definitive tests for the former, undertesting for the latter, underreporting, under or over-misdiagnosing of both. And as slippery as all that is, even less understood is the collateral damage, to families, to schools, to society—emotional and fiscal costs borne long after the war is over.

Like Brannan's symptoms. Hypervigilance sounds innocuous, but it is in fact exhaustingly distressing, a conditioned response to life-threatening situations. Imagine there's a murderer in your house. And it is dark outside, and the electricity is out. Imagine your nervous system spiking, readying you as you feel your way along the walls, the sensitivity of your hearing, the tautness in your muscles, the alertness shooting around inside your skull. And then imagine feeling like that all the time.

I don't usually leave comments on websites unless they write something that hits me hard. This is one of those times.

You did a great job on this but a couple of things need to be pointed out. Less than half of the veterans needing help for PTSD seek it and the reported numbers leave out thousands of veterans along with their families. I am glad you mentioned Vietnam Veterans because Point Man International Ministries focused on them back in 1984 when they established Home Fronts to help families along with the Out Post for the veterans. I wrote my book in 2002 because I saw what was coming for the veterans and their families because reporters like you were nowhere to be found. No one cared. It is happening to this generation of families just as it happened to ours. I am glad you care enough to to do something for us, the forgotten families of combat veterans.

The reason why I left this comment is this part on page two.

BY THIS POINT, YOU MIGHT BE wondering, and possibly feeling guilty about wondering, why Brannan doesn't just get divorced. And she would tell you openly that she's thought about it. "Everyone has thought about it," she says. And a lot of people do it. In the wake of Vietnam, 38 percent of marriages failed within the first six months of a veteran's return stateside; the divorce rate was twice as high for vets with PTSD as for those without. Vietnam vets with severe PTSD are 69 percent more likely to have their marriages fail than other vets. Army records also show that 65 percent of active-duty suicides, which now outpace combat deaths, are precipitated by broken relationships. And veterans, well, one of them dies by suicide every 80 minutes. But even ignoring that though vets make up 7 percent of the United States, they account for 20 percent of its suicides—or that children and teenagers of a parent who's committed suicide are three times more likely to kill themselves, too—or a whole bunch of equally grim statistics, Brannan's got her reasons for sticking it out with Caleb.

None of this is impossible. If you want to prevent suicides, then take care of the families on the front lines of all of this. If you want to prevent them from becoming homeless, then take care of the families. Give them the knowledge they need to know so they can help their families heal from the combat they face at home. Our veterans deserve so much more than they have received and their families need to be included in on all of it because while they did not go, it came home to them.

UK:Green on Blue hero committed suicide after funeral

Soldier hanged himself after funeral
British Forces News
17 January 2013
England UK

A young soldier hanged himself in Cumbria the day after the funeral of a fallen comrade whose killer he shot dead, an inquest has heard.

Ryan Ward, 20, had gunned down an Afghan policeman who had killed two of his colleagues in a "shocking and horrible" ambush.

He had later gone to pay his last respects to Sgt Gareth Thursby, 29, at his funeral in Skipton, just 24 hours before his own death, the hearing was told.

Sgt Thursby died alongside Private Thomas Wroe, 18, manning a checkpoint in the Nahr-e Saraj district of Helmand Province on September 15 last year.

A rogue Afghan policeman pretended to be injured in the road so they would help him, but then opened fire on the pair. Kingsman Ward reacted swiftly and "appropriately" by killing the Afghan police officer.
read more here

Ending a Life, and a Part of Yourself, for the First Time

Ending a Life, and a Part of Yourself, for the First Time
By THOMAS JAMES BRENNAN
December 14, 2012


Two hundred meters was all that separated me from an insurgent carrying an AK-47. I sat in a dilapidated brown leather chair, recessed in the shadows of a second-story room in the government complex of Falluja, Iraq. My sights were perfectly centered as I perched my elbows on the desk in front of me. The clear tip traced the center of his chest. He crept around a corner of a mud wall and slowly moved toward our position. Fear built inside me. I hesitantly began to pull the trigger of my M-16.

I was scared, to say the least. It was the first time my training would be tested. I heard my rifle crack as I fired. The weapon’s recoil nudged my shoulder, and he crumpled to the ground. The aroma of gunpowder filled the room. I fired two more rounds into his motionless body, then stared in amazement as his body lay lifeless, his black and red scarf astray. The sun rose across the city’s skyline. I was 19.

For me, the 10th of November is special. It is the Marine Corps’s birthday, a day for celebrating camaraderie. But it is also the day, eight years ago, when I was pinned down in the relentless firefights of Operation Phantom Fury. It is the day when I took a person’s life for the first time.
read more here

Criminal Minds has Vietnam and Marines as subject

UPDATE Criminal Minds The Fallen stand tall

This is one of my favorite shows. I'll be watching tonight just like every Wednesday (not counting re-runs) but so far, I have been very disappointed when a veteran is the subject they search for. The only time I think they did a great job was in To Hell and Back. An Iraq veteran caused the team to search for homeless people being murdered and not the murderer.

Joe Mantegna has done a lot for veterans and there is not doubt in my mind he really cares about veterans, so I adore him anyway.

Joe Mantegna Thrilled About His ‘Criminal Minds’ Marine Storyline
by Paulette Cohn
November 13, 2012

It’s a special episode for David Rossi (Joe Mantegna) when the “Criminal Minds” Behavioral Analysis Unit travels to Santa Monica, Calif. on Wednesday, for a case in which the unsub is burning the bodies of homeless people and leaving them near the pier.

A clue leads Rossi to Skid Row, where he reconnects with his former Marine sergeant (guest star Meshach Taylor), who is down on his luck — and it is flashback time as “Criminal Minds” turns back the clock and takes us to when Rossi was a 19-year-old, very green Marine [Robert Dunne plays the young Rossi] stationed in Vietnam.

In this exclusive interview, Mantegna gives XfinityTV.com his insights into “The Fallen” episode, as well as shares his thoughts on an upcoming episode in which it appears as if “The Silencer” may have returned.

Is the fact that Rossi is an ex-Marine a new aspect of the role for you to play?

We have made reference to it. There was the episode with the Navy Seal, played by Max Martini, where he suffered this condition where he thought his own friends and family were the enemy. He actually comes into the BAU because he has expertise. I talked to him on the phone and I mentioned that I was a former Marine and made reference to boots on the ground. About four seasons ago, I was on the plane with Hotch (Thomas Gibson) and I told him how right out of the Marine Corps, I came into the FBI. For a long time, I have wanted to explore that avenue so the fact that we are finally able to do it, I am thrilled.
read more here

PTSD Weapons of Mass Survival

PTSD Weapons of Mass Survival
by Chaplain Kathie
Wounded Times Blog
October 23, 2012

The military repeats one suicide too many but nothing changes. We've all heard the term weapons of mass destruction but it is time for a new one. Weapons of Mass Survival. Here are just a few that do not cost millions of dollars. Instead of taking thousands of lives, these weapons will save lives.

Basic training

The making of a soldier

Fort Benning Television - The series begins with the very first day. From getting haircuts to basic issue, we follow the action of what it is like to go through Fort Benning Basic Training.

Uniform, change back into civilian clothes means changing from soldier to civilian as well. As you take off your uniform and put on your jeans, remember the training it took to get you from the other way around to where you are.

Was it easy? Was it hard? They cut off your hair, put you in with strangers expecting you to be able to not just get along with them, but be able to die for them.

They trained you to use body parts you didn't even know you had.


Then they put you into a foreign country where bombs were planted.


You knew with each one that it could have been you. What you don't really understand is, in the back of your mind, that blast, that event with all the other events piled up. You didn't have time to notice. There were more events you had to be concerned with. The next IED. The next time people were hiding with you in their gun sites. The next time you'd have to watch a friend die.

15 US Marines Killed in Iraq Attack

You may have survivor guilt because you survived what took the life of your buddy.


PTSD I Grieve from Kathleen "Costos" DiCesare on Vimeo.


So what do you do with all of this?

First, take the crap they told you about "training your brain to be mentally tough" so that you could be "resilient" against all of it. Resiliency is what comes after, not before. No amount of training can prepare you for going through all of this. You become resilient when you face it head on after the fact. Talk about it! Think about it. Not just the outcome. That won't help get the image out of your head. You need to think about all of it from start to finish.

If all you focus on is the end, then that is all you'll see and it is evil. You won't be able to see anything you did that was brave, compassionate, or anything others did in response to it. Anytime someone is able to rise above something during war and do something out of kindness, no matter how small, indicates that humans are not pure evil and that has to come from what is inside of themselves along with what is inside of you. If you focus only on evil, you can't see good.

Talk it out. Listen to others. Don't judge them, tell them to get over it, forget about it or act as if you don't want to hear it anymore. If they need to talk and you won't listen, you may not have the chance to listen later because they took their weapon and ended the conversation with a bullet to their own head. If you are the one needing to be listened to, remind them of the time they spent training on redundant procedures repeated over and over again. Let them know how much you need to be listened to. You never know. Once you start talking, they may finally come to terms they need to talk too. You just gave them the opportunity to do it.

Talk to your family. You don't have to tell them every detail. Most families can't handle it. Just tell them why you can't sleep at night or what they can do to help if you have a nightmare. Tell them what you need from them when you have a flashback. Tell them what you need from them as much as you listen to what they need from you. Do it calmly. They are not your enemy. They want to help and understand almost as much as they want you to go back to the way you were before. They just don't understand that is impossible. Help them understand that. Tell them that everything in their own life changes them too.

Your deployment caused changes in them too. They just didn't notice.

You need them to support you. You need to take care of your body and learn how to calm down again, walk away from an argument and remember what made you love your wife/husband in the first place. All that was good inside of you is still there and all that was good inside of them is there too. You just need to heal the pain to rediscover it.

After talking, PTSD stops getting worse. You may cry and think it is getting worse but it is actually getting better. You are taking down the walls and releasing emotions. This is draining.

You need to take care of your body with a good diet to replace what is being sucked away by your emotions. FEED your body especially until you are able to sleep better and get rest.

Taking care of your body also includes teaching it to calm down again. Yoga, meditation, walking and Martial Arts helps retrain your body to calm down as much as basic training taught it to be pumped up.

Spiritual healing is also needed. You need to be able to forgive others. To believe you are forgiven for whatever you feel you need to be forgiven for. The hardest one is to be able to forgive yourself. Once you do that, then the rest of your life is back in your control.

You trained to be sent. You have to be trained to come home.

Soldier's path to suicide began in dispute over fitness to deploy

Sergeant carried his secret anguish home
Soldier's path to suicide began in dispute over fitness to deploy
Oct 6, 2012
Written by
Philip Grey
Leaf-Chronicle

Sgt. Justin Junkin was pulled from combat missions not long after deploying to Afghanistan due to hearing problems. He was replaced as team leader by his best friend, who was killed in action just two missions later.
SUBMITTED BY HEATHER JUNKIN

CLARKSVILLE, TENN. — Sgt. Justin Junkin came home from Afghanistan to his wife and infant daughter in May 2011, carrying his weapon, his gear and a bomb inside his head.

The secret that he brought back was as carefully concealed as any improvised explosive device in Kandahar Province, where Junkin served as a team leader with B Battery, 1st Battalion, 320th Field Artillery Regiment, 2nd Brigade Combat Team of the 101st Airborne Division.

Not only was the secret concealed from family and friends, it may well have been concealed from Justin himself, buried deep in his subconscious, waiting for him to find its trip-wire.

He stumbled across that wire in September 2011. In a surrealistically short space of time, he went from being a seemingly whole and well-adjusted soldier and family man to a statistic in the Army’s deadly homefront war on soldier suicide.

Retired Lt. Gen. Hugh Smith, who serves on the board of NotAlone, a national nonprofit that deals with military post-traumatic stress and suicide issues, is familiar with the case and has himself spoken with Sgt. Junkin’s wife, Heather.

After reading the Army documentation, Smith said he was “trembling with anger,” and added, “This is a tragedy that should never have happened.”

A day after the one-year anniversary of her husband’s death, Heather Junkin summoned the courage to tell their story. She agonized over the decision for months.

She hopes something of value can come from it, beyond simply putting a human face to what has been a mostly faceless national tragedy.
read more here

‘The Lucky One’ sparks with romance and action

I saw The Lucky One and thought it was on the best films on survivor's guilt along with a case of mild Combat PTSD. St. Cloud survived but others died and he wanted to know why. He found a picture, stopped to pick it up and lived. He wanted to meet the woman he thought saved his life. It is really a great movie and not just a "chick flick" because when I saw it at the theater, there were a lot of guys there.

‘The Lucky One’ sparks with romance and action
“THE LUCKY ONE”

Blu-ray widescreen, DVD widescreen and Ultra Violet Digital Copy, 2012, PG-13 contains some sexuality and violence

Best Extra: “Zac Efron Becomes a Marine” in HD

THE LATEST NOVEL to film adaptation from writer Nicholas Sparks (“The Notebook”) guarantees romance and friction will ensue.

Zac Efron’s (“Charlie St. Cloud” and “High School Musical”) character, Logan, is a U.S. Marine returning from his third and final combat tour in Iraq. While learning to cope with the aftermath of war, he decides to seek out a mysterious blonde woman (Taylor Schilling, “Atlas Shrugged – Part I”) whose photograph he found on a mission, and held onto as his good luck charm. “It’s a film that deals with fate and confusion. He [Logan] survived [in Iraq] and it doesn’t make sense, and he doesn’t know what to do,” Sparks explains in the “Watch the Sparks Fly” special feature.

Director Scott Hicks (“Shine”) knew Efron had the determination and skill to undergo the intense mental and physical transformation required for the character. The first step of the process required Efron to travel to Camp Pendleton, Calif., meet, and get to know a few sergeants from the 1st Marine Division. “In terms of character study and research, it was priceless. That became Logan. That’s everything that I was able to use for this movie,” Efron states in the “Becomes a Marine” feature.

Once filming commenced in New Orleans, Efron continued to work hard to maintain his physical appearance as a Marine for the film. During shooting, he woke up at 3:30 AM, worked out, and focused on his diet throughout the day. “When he [Efron] decided to do this [film], he pursued it in a really smart way,” producer Kevin McCormick explains in the “Sparks” special feature. “The work he began to put into physically transforming himself was very impressive,” Hicks says.
read more here

St. Cloud also did something that most veterans with PTSD do. They search for what will make them happy and to fill the hole inside of them.