CARRIE ANTLFINGER
July 22, 2008 01:48 PM EST
MILWAUKEE — Police Sgt. Chuck Cross pointed his department-issue .40-caliber handgun at his temple, finger on the trigger, as he sat drunk against his hallway wall.
"I was about eight pounds of a trigger pull away," he said.
He's unsure why he stopped. Fellow officers, called by his girlfriend, took him to a mental health center. He was charged with disorderly conduct while armed, and was fired.
He says his department had no idea how to handle his situation that March 2007 night, but after six suicides in three years the Milwaukee Police Department now provides suicide awareness training. Since starting the program early this year it has had two more suicides.
"We wear a Superman cape. You're not supposed to be emotional or show it. It might show that you are weak," said Cross, who pleaded guilty to a lesser charge and won his job back. "I don't think I'm so far off that a lot of cops haven't walked down the path I have."
In Milwaukee, Cross didn't know how depressed he was until the night he put the gun to his head. He had been through a divorce. He was stressed about his then-11-year-old disabled son. He'd seen his share of crashes, murders and rapes and he had worked with three officers who committed suicide.
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