While there are many things parents have a hard time talking to their children about, avoiding talking about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should not be one of them.
I had the opportunity for all the knowledge I needed when our daughter was an infant. She was raised knowing "why Daddy was ......" and this prevented her from blaming herself for the way he acted. This did not prevent hurt feelings but it did minimize the damage. It did not prevent conflict but kept it from escalating. She was able to adapt to the fact Daddy didn't go with us most of the time but she was able to enjoy his company when he did come.
There are adults walking around right now, children of Vietnam veterans feeling as if their fathers did not love them, that it was their own fault for the stained relationships and they carry the wound of war within them with secondary PTSD. This comes when being exposed to the traumatic situations veterans often deliver with untreated PTSD.
Drop a glass and Dad freaked out.
Sneak up on Dad to hug him or cover his eyes, the way most kids love to do, Dad freaks out.
When Mom was out of the house and you got hurt playing the yard, you needed him to clean up your wound and,,,you guessed it, Dad freaked out.
Dad had a habit of waking you up in the middle of the night because you could hear him screaming not knowing he was having a horrific nightmare.
Dad got drunk a lot, or got high, embarrassing you in front of your friends and your parents screamed at each other most of the time.
This they carried with them the rest of their lives. It never seemed to matter what they did because nothing was ever good enough.
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Nam Guardian Angel PTSD Shield
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