Veterans' Broken Lifelines

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 23, 2014

I admit it. I am odd. God created an extreme curiosity within my soul that is never satisfied with the answers I find. There are always more questions to ask.

I started to study war and PTSD when I needed to know what made my Vietnam veteran husband so much different from my Dad (Korea) and uncles (WWII). That was in 1982.

After understanding enough about it, it became wondering why I didn't have it because of all the times in my own life linked to the long list of causes of PTSD in civilians. When I found the answer that it had more to do with the way my family talked everything out of me, I then wondered why it isn't being done with the troops in combat, or at least soon afterwards.

Actually it was being done. I was done during the Korean War to reduce the number of psychiatric evacuations from combat zones. Clinicians were deployed with the troops so as soon as they started to show signs of stress, they were removed from combat, treated until they could be returned to duty. They learned their lessons after WWII produced a 300% increase from WWI. The rate of troops being sent home from Korea was 3%.

Addressing trauma, especially combat trauma, as soon as possible was vital but they stopped doing it during Vietnam. The year long deployments ended too soon, so signs of traumatic stress began to show after they came home.

The rate of their suicides swiftly outpaced combat casualties to the point where if their deaths were fully acknowledged by the time the Vietnam Memorial Wall was dedicated, it would have to be twice the size. Had they been counted up to today, there wouldn't be enough room to cover all the losses associated with Vietnam. Suicides and Agent Orange claimed far more lives than the over 58,000 names on the Wall.

By the time the Gulf War started there was a publicized life lost to suicide.

Michael Creamer, a Casualty of Two Wars
By: Tom Brokaw
18 February 1991

All of us, in one way or another, have been living first with the prospect of war and then with the reality of it since the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. For many veterans of Vietnam, this has been an especially anxious time. Many of their worst memories have been reawakened. The Persian Gulf has become their second war as it plays out graphically and continuously on television, radio and in the press.

Michael Creamer was one of those veterans. He grew up in a South Boston working-class family and served as a medic with the Rangers in Vietnam, winning two Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star for his valor during long, dangerous patrols.

When he returned he had trouble leaving his terrible experiences behind. He dropped out of nursing school when an assignment to emergency-room surgeons provoked a nightmare of broken bodies and horrible wounds from his combat days. He returned to his mother’s home and the life of despair common to victims of post-traumatic stress disorder – depression, bouts of violence, and thoughts of suicide.

Friends, other veterans, suggested that he confront his past by attending the dedication of the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington, and that trip was the beginning of a halting recovery. He met his future wife at the ceremony. She persuaded him to join a veteran’s outreach program.

As his confidence returned, he decided to reenlist in the Army. An injury during parachute training short-circuited his career plans, so he returned to New England and began to work with other troubled veterans, counseling them on their problems, helping them find work.

By now you must been seeing the similarities from what was happening back then to what is happening now.

SARASOTA -- Michael Robert Gehrz served two deployments in Iraq as a Navy corpsman, taking care of wounded Marines at Fallujah and in Anbar Province in some of the fiercest fighting of the war.

Severely wounded in combat, he returned home with traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder after his most recent deployment in 2005, and was medically retired from the Navy.

Michael Gehrz with fiancé, Bridget Bueckens, and little sister Alyssa. Photo used by permission of Jim Gehrz

He also returned home beset by unknowable torment.

On Oct. 10, he took his own life at age 33, leaving behind a wife and three children.

News coverage makes it seem as if all of this is new. The only thing that is new came because of Vietnam veterans asking why it was happening to them not knowing it happened to all other generations.

They did something with the answers they found and caused the mental health community to take action after forcing the government to invest funds for research to help them heal. Then, it wasn't about helping just them. It was about helping all generations of veterans. They started Vietnam Veterans of America because they were not welcomed into any of the established groups. They had no choice. Within their mission statement came the promise they would never leave another generation behind them. They kept their word.

They did it all without the Internet, Facebook and mass emails. They found each other and became the lifeline to healing what war caused inside of them.

The emotional walls trapping in the pain and blocking good feelings from getting it started to come down. One by one they realized the American public's apathy was not the only thing making them uncomfortable with them. It was the simple fact that the public did not go to Vietnam, physically, emotionally or financially. They didn't understand, not just because they didn't want to, they simply couldn't any more than civilians can understand the OEF and OIF veterans coming home.

For Vietnam veterans, the Gulf War increased the number of their suicides along with older veterans. All anagnodital evidence because there were simply no studies being done on the connection between another war and the private war being fought in the minds of warriors of the past.

By the time this nation was attacked, many had perished due to their service, yet their suicides increased and they are the largest percentage of the suicides tied to military service.

Wars don't end for those who come home simply because we stop counting them.

In homes all across America, the private battles are fought and lost in too many cases but in even more cases, they are won. They are won because the veteran is still connected to his lifeline. Much like in combat, he is not left alone. He is not fighting this fight by himself. His back is being watched and he is watching out for his brothers.

How does this work? Much like the way my family helped me. I had a safe place to talk. Even though they didn't go through the same things I did and couldn't really understand, they tried. I felt safe to talk, bringing the unsafe event into a safe time. They gave lousy advice most of the time but they did it with love.

Veterans understand veterans, not just in their own generation, but a Vietnam veteran can understand fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq because even though technology has changed, the men and women fighting those wars is still the same basic design.

They are all made of three parts. Their body, pushed to the limits, needs to be reprogrammed to calm down. Their minds fueled by training need to be retrained to think of things in different terms. Above all else, their souls, the thing that makes them who they are, gives them hope tomorrow can be better than this day is, need to be fed.

It is the part of them that caused them to want to serve in the first place. They don't risk their lives because of any other reason than to save the lives of those they serve with. That requires a unique ability to care far beyond what the rest of us capable of.

Among other veterans, they realize they are not alone even though they are only about 7% of the population. They begin to understand that it is impossible for civilians to fully understand them in return anymore than they can understand civilians. Ironic considering they once were one of them but when you think about it, there was always something different about them.

They cared more about others than themselves.

If you are still wondering why there are so many suicides and families suffering over a death that didn't have to happen, it is because their lifeline has been broken. They believed they had to fight this battle alone. They believe no one will understand. They are asking the wrong questions and settling for the wrong answers.

If you know a veteran feeling isolated, encourage them to seek out other veterans to reconnect to the lifeline they need to heal. Too many gone too soon when they were still needed to save the lives of their brothers.