PTSD Patrol Switching Gears

Motion requires different gears

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 18, 2018

The wheels turn, turn, turn and we move forward. Sometimes the road is smooth. Other times, it is a bumpy road we must travel on to get where we want to go.

There are times when we are alone on the road, but the passengers in our minds keep us company.

Sometimes the sun is shining and we can enjoy the drive. Sometimes it is snowing. The roads are dangerous to be on.

Sometimes we are the only ones on the road. Other times we are stuck in traffic.

What all of us must deal with, is, there are no guarantees any trip will be an easy one to take. 

To everything, there is a gear, that makes your wheels turn, turn, turn 

And a time to every purpose, under your hood 

A time to be move forward, a time to park 

A time to stay, a time to travel 

A time to reverse, a time for neutral 

A time to joy ride, a time to stop 

To everything, there is a gear. that makes your wheels turn, turn, turn.

There is a time to grieve, remember what is lost and then a time to remember with fondness. A time to cry and release the pain you feel. That makes room for a time to feel joy again.
read more here

I wanted to see the darkness turn to the light of day

Dawn of Veterans Day

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
November 11, 2108

Before dawn yesterday, I went out to Apopka to walk along the path of the Vietnam Memorial Traveling Wall. I wanted to see the darkness turn to the light of day.

Much like when you drive surrounded by darkness, you can light your way by turning on your headlights, you can do that with your life as well.

The darkness can feel overwhelming at times and it can be hard to see what is around you.
read more here

Veteran done talking about suicides...too busy talking about hope

Veterans find hope after trauma

We Are Iowa
Brynn Carman
November 1, 2018

Therapist Michele Lundstrom says that's exactly the help veterans living with PTSD need to heal. A passion that gets them into the right mental state."I'm getting choked up talking about it because I sit with this all the time and I want people to know that you don't have to keep telling it over and over," said Lundstrom. "We can treat the symptoms and the symptoms tell a story and that's what people didn't know when people were returning from Vietnam."

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is extremely common among combat veterans. In the past it's been very hard to treat. But now younger vets in Iowa are learning how to overcome their mental injuries, and live here on home soil with a new found purpose.

"I'm done talking about veteran suicide," said veteran, Troy Peterson. "I got it. I was almost a statistic."

When Troy Peterson got home from Iraq, his life was riddled with addiction and depression. Things got so bad it almost it almost cost him his life.

"On July 30 of 2015 I attempted to take my own life," he said. "I planned it out that that was going to be my last day. I didn't want to admit that I was struggling and I didn't want to admit to my problems."

The next day he woke up in a hospital bed embarrassed and confused. But determined to find a new purpose.

"Best thing that ever happened to me, was that I hit rock bottom."
read more here

What is your purpose now?

Types of vehicles have different purposes

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 28, 2018

We choose vehicles based on what we like and what we need to do. If you need to clear snow, then you would want to have a snow plow. While a plow will clear snow, it would not be good to put one on a race track. That is, unless you plan on clearing other cars by shoving them out of the way.

On the other hand, a race car is meant for speed, and could clear snow very fast with a plow attached to it. The trouble is, it would not be able to do it very long.

When I was young, I wanted to be a writer. I always thought that I would be writing horror novels, instead of surviving horrors. Now I write about horrors in a much different way.

I could look at my life and think that it went off track, because while I wrote three books, I have not finished one of the several horror books I started. I am not sure what to even find the manuscripts now. I did not choose this work. My life did.

Most of us think we are supposed to do something and it sucks when we cannot do them, for one reason or another. You may think that because your job caused you to be invaded by PTSD, you cannot save anyone anymore.

That is because you are not looking at how many you can still save by letting them know there is hope for their lives too. 

Think about the group of veterans in TEAM RUBICON. They are no longer in the military, but used their training and desire to help by responding to disasters. They put their lives on the line all the time because they put others first, just like they did in the military.

Find what you do best and then find a different way to do it. Being of service to others comes in many different ways. You can still be true to the core of who you are, even though how you do it changed. #TakeBackYourLife
go here for more

Hope for a better future came with 4 paws and a tail

Bill White: Troubled veterans are paired with service dogs. 'This guy's my world'

The Morning Call
Bill White
October 27, 2018

“Many of our veterans have difficulty engaging in treatment due to challenges with verbal processing, anxiety, isolation, etc. In a sentence, you have helped veterans become ‘unstuck’ and offered hope for a better future.” Laura Fahringer of the Coatesville VA

Harold Siegfried and his service dog Phelan (center) meet Oct. 14 with Lt. Col. Mark Phelan's widow, Brenda (right), her daughter April Chau and granddaughters Cora (far left) and Ada. (Harold Siegfried/Contributed photo)

Harold Siegfried was volunteering at ArtsQuest’s Christkindlmarkt two years ago, accompanied by his service dog, Phelan.

Siegfried and Phelan were brought together by Tails of Valor, Paws of Honor, a nonprofit program that trains service dogs to interact with and become companions for veterans who are struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder, traumatic brain injuries and physical disabilities.

All the dogs, rescued from area animal shelters as puppies and trained for on average 18 months, are named for military personnel who were killed in action or who committed suicide after returning home. Phelan was named for Lt. Col. Mark Phelan, who was killed in 2004 by a car bomb in Iraq.

A man who was visiting from East Norriton, Montgomery County, approached Siegfried that day and asked about his dog, a black Lab mix. Siegfried began telling him about the program and that each dog was named for a fallen serviceman or servicewoman.

When he told the man that his dog was named after Lt. Col. Mark Phelan, the man dropped to his knees and began crying.

“What did I say?” Siegfried asked the man’s wife.

“That was his brother,” she replied.
read more here

Help save the demon from PTSD Patrol

The demon of PTSD wants to live and needs your help to make sure it wins more lives. You can help by spreading suicide awareness so that these souls never find hope that they can heal!

Isn't it time for you to fight and #TakeBackYourLife

PTSD Patrol Beat the Demon

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
October 21, 2018

Spreading "suicides awareness" has met a dead end. It makes no sense to keep going down the road you do not belong on! 


Whenever someone reminds you there are veterans taking their own lives, start thinking about how to #TakeBackYourLife.

You already survived what caused PTSD and the demon to come into your life. Do it again! Only this time, give him the finger and tell him he cannot defeat you now!

go here for video

Yesterday was the Orlando Nam Knights Biketoberfest Party. Just before you get to the clubhouse, there is a "Dead End" sign. It got me thinking about how all the "suicide awareness" is in realty, a dead end.

It offers no hope. It offers reminders that more veterans lost their battle with the demons of PTSD to other veterans trying to fight them. 

Where is the hope in that message?

Some of my friends helped me with the video. The one in the Reaper costume, Tony, put it on even though it was 94 degrees here in Orlando. Skip did a great job with being rescued by Susan. That is the message of PTSD Patrol. Friends helping friends because they needed it. 

You may feel as if you have to fight your own demons all by yourself. Yet when you think about what was going on when you were involved in the events that caused PTSD, you were not alone then. Why fight this time by yourself when you do not have to? Isn't it time for you to fight and #TakeBackYourLife?

PTSD and other challenges recover and take back their lives

NDVets Host Annual Gala To Honor And Benefit Veterans

Patch California
By Emily Holland, Patch Staff
Oct 13, 2018

The event will feature a demo of "Mind at War," a VR experience that provides a look into an Iraq War veteran's struggle with PTSD.

SANTA MONICA, CA – New Directions for Veterans (NDVets), a nonprofit organization that provides comprehensive housing and development services to homeless and at-risk veterans, will host its annual Veterans Canteen gala to benefit homeless veterans Saturday at the Skirball Cultural Center.

NDVets is based on the West Los Angeles Veterans Affairs campus and provides housing and social services to about 1,800 veterans each year. The organization has served veterans facing homelessness, PTSD and other challenges recover and take back their lives for more than 25 years, the press release said. The event will honor community leaders and media for their support and advocacy for veterans.

"The Veterans Canteen gala is our opportunity to honor both our veterans and those advocating for them," said USMC Capt. (Ret) Leo Cuadrado, Chief Operating Officer of NDVets. "As more and more veterans return home from overseas conflicts, they will need our support now more than ever, and we are grateful to know we have the support of our partners and the community behind us to help raise the much-need funds to continue providing life-saving services to veterans seeking help."
read more here

OK! Looks like changing the conversation is catching on!

Have them beat on the number of years too but that's OK too! From what I hear, New Directions for Veterans are doing great work.

And if you think God did it to you, remember the Homeless Jesus statue

'Homeless Jesus' statue attracts double takes, compassion

CBC News 
Sandra Abma 
Posted: Oct 10, 2018

"I just noticed the wounded feet," said Damien Morden, who often passes the statue on his lunch hour stroll."If you strip Christianity back to its basics, it's about Jesus helping people out and taking care of the disadvantaged."

Homeless Jesus in the forecourt of Christ Church Cathedral on Sparks Street. (Sandra Abma/CBC)

At first glance, it looks like a homeless person huddling for warmth beneath a blanket, lying on a park bench along the west end of Sparks Street. A closer inspection reveals nail marks in the feet. This is Homeless Jesus, one of a series of life-size bronze statues from Canadian artist Timothy Schmalz. It's been sitting outside Christ Church Cathedral since late spring and it's been getting a lot of love from passersby.  

"There have been people who have left flowers on the statue, one person actually placed coins in the wounds and someone put a blanket on it," said Shane Parker, dean of the Anglican Diocese of Ottawa. Parker says the statue reflects the church's ongoing work to help the homeless. read more here

*******

That is what a lot of people get wrong, especially if the church they attended ended up doing them more harm than good. The truth is, the Son of God did not come as a rich man, but spent His ministry as a homeless man among the people He came to lift up.

Yes, He lifted them up by getting down to where they were in life. Some were ill, some had been suffering from demons. Each one with their own struggles, yet all of them needed the same thing. HOPE!

Hope that they were not worthless than anyone else. Hope they were not unworthy of better days. Hope their pain could stop. Hope they would go to sleep without feeling the pain of hunger. Hope that everyday from the moment they heard His voice, it would all be better than the moment before was.

Right now, there are people here in Florida who just lost every possession they had with Hurricane Michael. They have no idea where they will live or how to rebuild their lives.

Hurricanes are horrible! We went through Charlie, Frances and Jeanne in Central Florida. None of them caused as much damage as Michael.

This is drone footage of Mexico Beach,


‘It’s all gone’: Tiny Florida beach town nearly swept away by Hurricane Michael


Things can be replaced and they can find another place to call home. They can find new jobs if their business was destroyed. It can all be replaced by something else including the thoughts they have.

There are many more people who witnessed the destruction of this monster hurricane. The key word they need to keep hearing is, they are not victims, but are survivors!

This is more about being proactive in beginning to heal. First, allow yourself time to grieve. Rest as much as possible. Above all else, talk about what is going on with you.

As a survivor of multiple traumatic events, that is the way something like PTSD is prevented. Do not hold in your feelings! That is the worst thing you can do. It allows the horror to gain control over your future.

Keep in mind that you could not prevent what the wind and water did that horrible day but you can prevent it from taking control of tomorrow.

If you need help, ask for it. If you need to talk, find someone who will listen. Dismiss any stupid thing they may say when they do not know what to say. Keep talking and know, they do care about you, but it is above their ability to understand what you are going through now.

And if you think God did it to you, remember the Homeless Jesus statue you just read about. Remember what He did as much as what He said. YOU ARE LOVED!

Older veterans need to lead the way, not get out of it

The more I think about the fact that older veterans have waited longer for all the benefits they fought so hard for, the more I want to scream "Stop getting out of the way and start leading it again!"

Vietnam veterans led the way for gaining treatment and compensating for PTSD. Yes, that is right, old guys! The ones who did it without social media or even computers.

Now we have First Responders being treated for what their jobs did to them. Oh, you guys get that, since most of you went into those careers too. Who else will they listen too other than those who walked the walk since before they were in baby walkers? 

You are the majority of veterans in this country. Sadly, veterans over the age of 50, are also the majority of the suicides.

What are you waiting for? You have a lot of time on your hands now, so how about you use that time to actually make your golden years glitter?

Go to PTSD Patrol and see if you can become the inspiration to save some lives, beginning with your own!

Veteran gave up on winning election, not on his healing PTSD

Ever heard of a quitter inspiring others to fight? Read this then you can say, now you have.

Afghan War vet ends bid for Kansas City mayor, citing PTSD and depression
STARS AND STRIPES
By NIKKI WENTLING
Published: October 2, 2018

“I wish I would have sought help sooner, so if me going public with my struggle makes just one person seek assistance, doing this publicly is worth it to me,” he wrote.

WASHINGTON — Jason Kander, an Afghanistan War veteran widely praised as a rising star in the Democratic party, withdrew Tuesday from the Kansas City, Mo., mayoral race to seek help for depression and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Jason Kander, pictured here during a 2013 visit to Fort Leonard Wood, withdrew Tuesday, Oct. 2, 2018, from the Kansas City, Mo., mayoral race in order to seek help for depression and symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. ANGELINA BETRAN/FORT LEONARD WOOD

Last week, Kander called the Veterans Crisis Line and told a crisis responder that he had suicidal thoughts. On Monday, he went to the Kansas City VA Medical Center, where he’s planning to receive regular treatment.

“To allow me to concentrate on my mental health, I’ve decided that I will not be running for mayor of Kansas City,” Kander wrote Tuesday.

Kander posted a letter on his campaign website and Facebook page explaining his mental health struggles. He hopes that being forthcoming will help veterans and others who are working through mental health issues, he said.

“Last Tuesday, I found out that we were going to raise more money than any Kansas City mayoral campaign ever has in a single quarter,” he wrote. “But instead of celebrating that accomplishment, I found myself on the phone with the VA’s Veterans Crisis Line, tearfully conceding that, yes, I have had suicidal thoughts. And it wasn’t the first time.”
read more here

Marine veteran with PTSD shares healing journey

Marine veteran shares story of battling PTSD and how to get help
News 4 San Antonio
by Ariana Lubelli
September 28th 2018

"The important thing is to know the services that are out and seek those services before you get to that crisis point," said Gordon.

There is a great need for mental health services for veterans. It's a demand seen across the country and just as prevalent in San Antonio.

Andrew Reidel is a Marine veteran and outreach coordinator for PTSD Foundation of America. He knows all too well about the demons that PTSD brings on.

"Just imagine coming home and being just dead, just a moving body, just existing not really living. That's how we come home," said Reidel.

He served eight years in the military with tours to Iraq and Afghanistan and operations in other overseas locations.

"For me, it was the nightmares and the night sweats, real quick to get angry. Probably the worst part of it was not being able to connect with the average person when I got home," said Reidel.

Since 2011, Reidel has attempted suicide at least three times. Sadly, his story is familiar to many veterans.
read more here

PTSD Patrol: You can get there from here

PTSD Patrol, directions to hope
Kathie Costos
September 9, 2018

This morning on PTSD Patrol, the topic was listening to your guide, in this case, a GPS trying to get you on the best road. 

That is, after all, what we are doing here every week.

PTSD is not new. It is as old as biblical days when the anguished cried out to God for either mercy or forgiveness. Anything had to be better than what they were going through.

It is the same way with you. When you are struggling to find hope, you need to know how to get there.

It is almost like saying you are going to drive out west. If you live in Florida, that can get tricky on your own. Out west is Tampa and the the Gulf of Mexico. You need to find out how to get out of Florida first.

If you are smart enough to figure out you need directions for a road trip, then why don't you use that same intelligence to know when to ask for directions to heal?

This is from PTSD Patrol

Whenever you want to go to a place you have never been before, you have to find out how to get there.

In my case, my daughter bought me a GPS after I got lost in Tiffin Ohio...for two hours circling corn fields. (Don't ask, long story) She said I get lost getting out of a paper bag!

Everyone can get lost but the folks who planned the road and loaded directions must have gotten lost too. 

When everything is going to hell, it is hard to believe in a place you have never been to. You are used to being stuck, most of the time feeling alone, and always being just too depressed to do much at all. 

But even though you may feel as if you are stuck, there is something inside of you trying to get you to notice you are the only one keeping you from getting to where it is so much better. You can live a better life if you look for directions how to find it.

This video is for anyone who is lost but refuses to pay attention to the easiest way to get to hope. No one is so lost they cannot be found and get your life turned around from grave to Hope Road.
go here for more hope

Vietnam Veteran with PTSD back in court as Judge!

Judge Guy Williams opens up about PTSD treatment
KRISTV 6 News
Greg Chandler
August 29, 2018

CORPUS CHRISTI – A very different Judge Guy Williams was back in his chambers at the 148th District Court on Wednesday.

Williams recently finished six weeks of treatment for post traumatic stress disorder at Warrior’s Heart in Bandera, a facility specifically for veterans.

The judge, who won a Purple Heart during the Vietnam War, says he’s battled PTSD since his discharge from the Marine Corps in 1970.

“As soon as I got out the hyper-vigilance was there, the exaggerated startle response, the depression, the anxiety,” Williams said. “Nightmares, lack of sleep.”

PTSD continued plaguing Williams during his career with the Naval Criminal Investigative Service. He said he hid the problem from co-workers by working 80 hours a week.

“I never got treatment, because I knew once I got treatment somebody would get the medical records and my career would be gone,” said Williams.
read more here

Who Drives You?

Have you decided to get into your life and drive?
PTSD Patrol Sunday Morning Empowerment Zone
Kathie Costos
August 12, 2018

When you are a passenger, you do not control anything. Someone else is in control of where you go, how fast you get there and how safe your trip is.

When you are the driver, then you decide all of it! Where you go and how fast you get there is all up to the decisions you make.

There are things you decide in your own life. Do you want to be happy? Do you want to stay miserable?

How you live can change just as it did when you survived the events that caused PTSD. This time, it can change for the better!

PTSD is change, so, change again! It is your life. Get in and drive it instead of letting it drive you!

PTSD Patrol Sunday Morning Empowerment Zone topic is are you a passenger in your own life or a driver?

read more here 

I want you to go away...happier

My job is to get you to go away~happier ever after!
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
August 2, 2018

If you think the message about how veterans are committing suicide is doing any good, then you need to actually pay attention to how this is a massive delusion veterans keep paying for with their lives.

Considering the VA known data on suicides only go up to 2015, there are some saying that there is no proof it does not work. Actually there is. 

The DOD, Department of Defense, is under mandate to report military suicides on a quarterly basis. Usually about 90 days after the fact, but at least we have a better idea of current deaths. It has remained about 500 a year since 2012.

Clearly, proof that raising awareness has not worked out for them, and great indication that it is not working for veterans either.

So what works? 

"There are organizations out there that support the prevention of veteran suicides and if you are a veteran that is struggling, there is hope. I can assure you of that."

That was the message of Chris White after he did this.

Chris White weaves through stadium security while sprinting across the Minute Maid Park outfield last Friday. (Leslie Plaza Johnson/Icon Sportswire via AP Images)

You can read more about him here  on Marine Corps Times.

Then there is Kately Miller who said this about what winning a top model spot on Muscle and Fitness Magazine meant to her.

Katelyn says she plans to use the prize money to start a gym dedicated to PTSD veterans. 

"To give them a safe space to go that they know that everybody is going to understand who they are and what they're going through," said Katelyn. "[It's] a way to show people that you can come through so much and come out on top."

You can read more about her on CBS 8 News 

People can pull all the stunts they want but if the message is about other veterans committing suicide, especially when the people doing the talking know very few facts, it fails.

It succeeds at increasing bank accounts and publicity for the people doing interviews, but fails the veterans it was supposed to be about saving.

I was talking with a veteran yesterday and he was having a hard time understanding what my "job" was. I told him, "It is to get you to go away..." but before I could finish the sentence, he gasped. I took a deep breath, hoping to get all the words out, "It is my job to get you to go away happier ever after!"

My job is to get you to understand what PTSD is, why you have it, or whatever else it takes for you to want to heal even more. Basically, it is to clear the road and get you to drive away.

Once you know what you need to know, that your life can be a lot better than the hell you've settled for, then you will take control of the road with pit stops.

After 36 years years, I lose on average $2,000 a year. Last year was a bit rougher and it was over $3,000. Sure I try to do some fund raising online to break even, but not so great at that. I have a regular job and I do OK financially. The point is, I do this 45 hours a week and that is all it costs to do it!

Thousands of reports, hundreds of videos, events, groups, you name it and that is all it costs me. This site, as of right now, has 3,839,083 page views. My other site, PTSD Patrol, has 14,879. So, reaching people is not expensive either.

The thing is, why should I, or anyone else, make money off delivering a message that you have plenty of company suffering? They should be delivering the message about having more company from others who have been where you are, like the two you just read about, but decided they could #TakeBackYourLife and they did!

The power to heal is already in you. My job is just to get it connected again. Plain, simple and basically the same message it was when others went out before I even heard the term PTSD. 

The question is, who are you going to follow? People leading you deeper into the pit, of folks doing whatever it takes to get you to go away happier after ever?

Stop being absent from your own life!

Time to filter out the BS and fill up with something to actually work toward!

OK, you can tell what kind of mood I'm in right now. 

Frustrated does not even come close to wanting to get up on my roof and scream that it is time to stop being absent from your own life!

You found excuses because you looked for them.

You found other people to blame, because you looked for them.

You found whatever you wanted to find when you wanted to find it.

So when the hell will you find what you need to stop screwing around and get serious and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD?

How many officers do you need to hear from? One this site, you've read about officers in every department of people who made it their job to do whatever it takes to save others.

HOW ABOUT YOU DO THE SAME FOR YOURSELF?

PTSD Patrol Sunday Morning Empowerment Zone

PTSD Patrol Family Road Trip
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
July 29, 2018

Yesterday it was raining when I was getting ready to do the video for today. A song popped into my head and I could not get it to stop playing in my mind. 

Melissa Manchester "Come In From The Rain" is about coming home from a journey and returning to someone who loves them.

I used that song a long time ago because it is what it is like when you come back home to your family.

When you listen to the lyrics, you'll know what I mean. We do not know what you have packed in your memories. We just know you are still packing pain. 

We don't know if it is because you do not love us anymore, or we did something wrong, or anything else that caused what is going on with you. All we can do is guess unless you tell us.
read more here

Healing PTSD with laughter?

The Millennial Who Uses Comedy to Help Veterans Heal
Politico
By DEREK ROBERTSON
July 26, 2018

“Until I joined the class, I talked about [that experience] two times, and each time I had full breakdowns about it,” Croghan told me afterward. “I hate to use the word ‘safe,’ but that’s what [the class] was. I felt comfortable discussing it with the group we had. … Until that point, I’d never done that before.”

A millennial-run nonprofit is bridging a divide between the military and civilians by giving veterans a chance to tell their stories—and their jokes—in public.

For the better part of a decade, Christopher Croghan was at war.

He deployed to Iraq for the first time in 2007 at the height of the conflict. Returning home, he found it no more peaceful than the desert. Like many in his generation of post-9/11 veterans, Croghan found it almost impossible to speak candidly about what he had lived through—particularly with those closest to him. When faced with the choice between returning to the battlefield and processing at home the trauma he brought back, he repeatedly volunteered for redeployment, even as a soldier for hire after leaving the Marines.

“The only stuff my family knew about the war and me is that every once in a while we would have a celebration, and I would get way too drunk,” Croghan said. “And I’d say, ‘Well, you’ve never shot at a fucking kid, so shut the fuck up.’”

Croghan’s drinking led to a DUI. Both the judge and his therapist at the VA encouraged him to pursue writing, his personal outlet of choice. One day, however, a slightly adjacent program crossed the desk of Croghan’s therapist—the Armed Services Arts Partnership, a nonprofit that teaches creative- and performing-arts classes for veterans and military families. ASAP’s mission is to forge “a new path for veterans to reintegrate into civilian life, and for our communities to welcome them home.”

Which is how, on a warm evening in May, Croghan came to be standing on a stage at the Drafthouse Comedy Theater on Washington, D.C.’s K Street, just a few blocks north of the White House, preparing to deliver a monologue that he had spent the previous six weeks perfecting in a storytelling class with nine other men and women.
read more here

Courage to speak about seeking help to heal PTSD

There is something that Sgt. 1st. Class James Spraggins understands very well. He understands what his choice of profession caused, but he understands a lot more than that!

It takes a lot of courage to choose a career that could kill you.

It takes a lot of courage to put your life on the line for the sake of others.

It takes a lot of courage to admit that sometimes, you need help too.

What takes even more courage, is to speak out publicly so that others are inspired to ask for help too!

*******

A Platoon Sergeant receives the gift of hope, strength and life
U.S. Army Warrior Care and Transition
By MaryTherese Griffin
Courtesy Story
07.27.2018

"...this would be the start of my new life; the gift of hope, strength, and most importantly the gift of life.” Sgt. 1st. Class James Spraggins

Courtesy Photo | Sgt. 1st. Class James Spraggins Iraq 2008, (Photo courtesy James Spraggins)

ARLINGTON, Va. - “I was a disaster who was proficient at hiding the fact that I needed help. I was very confused on what was going on with myself and feared for the future.”

Those courageous words are from Sgt. 1st Class James Spraggins. The former Infantryman turned Army Sniper has deployed multiple times over his 15 year Army career and wants to let other Soldiers know a few things about his journey.

The events of September 11th encouraged Spraggins to enlist; he felt like he was honoring his family name by taking it overseas to defend the nation’s freedoms. However, after his last two deployments, Spraggins says he was a different person. “I no longer had the same mentality towards human kind when I returned,” and that included himself Spraggins said.

Spraggins suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. He was assigned as a Platoon Sergeant to the Warrior Transition Unit at Fort Knox, Kentucky. This was the first time, he says, he was away from his comfort zone. “I can remember feeling on top of the world (before PTSD), but then I lost who I was, I lost all hope. This began the complete spiral and destruction of Sgt. 1st Class Spraggins,” Spraggins recalled. “Those moments were some of the darkest moments of my life. I began neglecting everyone close to me so that I didn’t have to visit them or talk to anyone.”

Spraggins says he even began neglecting his basic human needs, like hygiene, for weeks and would skip meals for days to the point of complete exhaustion and he didn’t sleep. After suffering multiple panic attacks daily for several months he started thinking to himself that living was no longer an option. He sat with a loaded pistol in a church parking lot, thought about it, prayed about it, then he called his sister. “After failing in every direction, I turned for help. I made the choice to walk into Building 1480, the Behavioral Health Clinic on Fort Knox, this would be the start of my new life; the gift of hope, strength, and most importantly the gift of life.”
read more here