"We just wear our scars on the outside": Band of wounded warriors healing through music
CBS NEWS By DAVID MARTIN March 25, 2019
"There's something about it, that just, the motivation, the drive, the just the soul of it. It doesn't feel it can go anywhere but up," Donley said.
Bethel, Pa. — In a house in the woods in the middle of Pennsylvania, some of the most important music in America is being played by a band called The Resilient. But you don't need to be a music critic to say that. All you have to do is look.
Nate Kalwicki on guitar lost his right leg in Afghanistan. Marcus D'Andrea on bass lost both legs. So did lead vocalist Tim Donley. Juan Dominguez lost both legs and an arm, yet somehow plays the drums with a special pedal and drum stick. He's not some novelty act.
"I am a drummer. I am the drummer for The Resilient and we're gonna do big things," Dominquez said.
The only member of The Resilient with all his body parts is Greg Loman, a professional musician who met the others in their darkest hour, searching for a purpose in life while recovering from their wounds.
"Through the recovery we all discovered this really intense passion for honest musicianship and they've all gotten so good," Loman said. read more here
When you look at your dash, there are a lot of things it can tell you. In the center, you see how far you've traveled and how fast you are going at this very moment.
THE DASH by Linda Ellis is one of those poems that is usually delivered when it is too late for the person being remembered to benefit from. It is not so much for the person being buried, but for those gathered to be able to think about their own lives. This is part of that poem.
"He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years."
While we have no control over when we arrive into this world, we do have control over what we do between the dates used to acknowledge we were here at all.
"FOR THAT DASH REPRESENTS ALL THE TIME THEY SPENT ALIVE ON EARTH AND NOW ONLY THOSE WHO LOVED THEM KNOW WHAT THAT LITTLE LINE IS WORTH."
Question; What is your line worth? Can you see it all or is it mostly a blur with symbols you cannot really understand? read more here
Combat PTSD Wounded Times Kathie Costos February 5, 2019
Someone lied to you. Someone told you something and you believed it because you trusted them. You never bothered to ask them to prove it was true.
I do not need someone to prove God is real. I see it everyday. I see it in the unique people who always put others first, even if it means they will be last for everything. I see it when men and women are willing to endure all kinds of hardships, including the judgment of fools, for the sake of others. I see God's Love in all types of acts of kindness and compassion, mercy, inspiration and unselfishness.
I also see what evil can do pretending to be good. I do not need proof that the Demon is real. I see what he does to those who find purpose serving others. I also see it when people claim they are doing something to change what is wrong, when the result proves they lied to us. They can deny it all they want, but after all these years of hearing how important it is to prevent suicides, and how expensive it is according to them, we see suffering increase every year. We hear it from the Department of Defense, the Department of Veterans Affairs, Congress and especially from all the "awareness" fundraisers running around the country with their BS stunts. Did they think we wouldn't notice that they are spreading messages of despair instead of anything helpful? Before they were "paying attention" we were way ahead of all of them. We were talking about what failed as well as what worked. Ignorance failed but knowledge heals.
Kathie Costos DiCesare Published on Oct 21, 2012 There are many things that keep getting missed when we talk about Combat and PTSD. This is to clear up the biggest one of all. What is courage and how does it link to being "mentally tough" so that you can push past what you were told about "resiliency" training. Chaplain Kathie "Costos" DiCesare of Wounded Times Blog tries to explain this in interview done by Union Squared Studios. woundedtimes.blogspot.com
So we were told over and over again, that everyone in charge was paying attention at the same time they tried to come up with excuses. Then they asked for more money, to keep doing the same thing that already failed, and we were no longer able to count the number of the dead. Well, at least not in the veterans community, but because Congress mandated the DOD to track suicides within the military, we have a more up to date report with data that proves none of the "awareness" they actually needed to become aware of was able to get to them. All the crap got in the way. So, here are the latest headlines on military suicides.
Suicides among active-duty soldiers are up about 20 percent
Army Times By: Meghann Myers February 4, 2019
“We must continue to ensure commanders have the policies and resources they need to prevent suicides, that all leaders have the tools to identify soldiers who are suffering and to positively intervene, and that all soldiers view seeking mental health care as a sign of strength.”Col. Kathleen Turner
The Army reported an uptick in active-duty suicides in 2018, according to service statistics, though deaths by suicide were slightly down in the total force.
Out of 303 total reports, 138 came from the active-duty side ― 22 more than in 2017, Defense Department statistics show.
“Like the rest of America, the Army continues to grapple with the loss of too many of our people to suicide," Army spokeswoman Col. Kathleen Turner told Army Times in a statement Friday. “The loss of any soldier or Army family member to suicide is a tragedy.”
The most recent DoD quarterly suicide report goes back to 2012, showing a six-year high of 325 total suicides in the Army. That number dropped to 300 in 2013 and then to a low of 245 in 2014, before ramping back up to 279 in both 2015 and 2016, then jumping again to 303 in 2017.
During that time, active-duty numbers also fluctuated. The Army reported 165 active-duty suicides in 2012, which dropped to 121 in 2013, then 126 in 2014 and 120 in 2015. The past three years, the numbers have swelled and dipped from 120 in 2016 to 116 in 2017, then back up to 138.
“While the Army has made progress, more work needs to be done,” Turner said.
read more here
US Special Ops suicides triple in 2018, as military confronts the issue
CNN Barbara Starr February 2, 2019
Washington (CNN)Suicides among active duty military personnel assigned to US Special Operations Command tripled in 2018, in a disturbing and as yet unexplained spike, CNN has learned.
Special Operations units saw 22 deaths by suicide in 2018, almost triple the eight cases seen in 2017, according to figures provided to CNN by the command. SOCOM, as it's known, is the unified combatant command charged with overseeing the various Special Operations component of the Army, Marine Corps, Navy and Air Force that take on counterterrorism and other specialized missions. read more here
Active-Duty Military Suicides at Record Highs in 2018
Military.com Patricia Kime January 30, 2019
Editor’s Note: This story has been updated to include Army year-end totals.
The U.S. military finished 2018 with a troubling, sad statistic: It experienced the highest number of suicides among active-duty personnel in at least six years.
Lt. Cmdr. Karen Downer writes a name on a Suicide Awareness Memorial Canvas in honor of Suicide Awareness Month at Naval Hospital Jacksonville, Sept. 10, 2018. (U.S. Navy/Jacob Sippel, Naval Hospital Jacksonville).
Active duty Military members could save more with GEICO. Get a quote today! A total of 321 active-duty members took their lives during the year, including 57 Marines, 68 sailors, 58 airmen, and 138 soldiers. The deaths equal the total number of active-duty personnel who died by suicide in 2012, the record since the services began closely tracking the issue in 2001. read more here
Don't you love the slogan? One too many or too few actually paying attention?
The question is, if we knew what had to be done over 4 decades ago, when serious research started, then why haven't they figured it out yet? Do not spend so much time thinking about taking your own life when you can think about how to #TakeYourLifeBack and heal! The road ahead is in your control!
PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos January 20, 2019 This morning I was thinking about how people in the wrong lane of traffic can mess up everyones ride.
I go into work at 5 am, which is great most mornings. With only a few cars on the road, it is really a nice commute. That is, until I get behind someone without a clue where they are going, and blocking the passing lane.
That happened Friday. The driver in the right lane was obeying the speed limit. The driver traveling in the passing lane was doing a little under the speed limit. There was no safe way to pass either of them.
Soon there was a group of us trapped behind them.
That is the way it is in life too. You are having a nice trip until someone gets in your way and blocks the road ahead of you, making it take longer to get to where you need to go.
If you are hearing about how many veterans someone thinks committed suicide today, you need to wonder what their point is. Who does it help when they just guess? How serious is the subject them when they cannot answer any questions?
The most obvious question they should have been finding the answer to, is, "What will change the outcome?"
Getting rid of the stigma of PTSD is like melting black ice.
PTSD Patrol Sunday Morning Empowerment Zone Kathie Costos January 13, 2019
Black ice looks like a puddle but it makes the driving conditions dangerous. The stigma attached to PTSD is like black ice in your life. Facts can melt it so you can heal it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife Read it here and watch the video of my office back in order again.
Combat PTSD Wounded Times Kathie Costos January 7, 2019 In less than 3,000 page views, this site will hit 4 million~
That proves a few things to me. One is that people do care about the truth and the other, is that, no matter how alone I feel doing this work, I am not alone. That gives me courage to stick by my beliefs. It fuels hope that someone out there has been helped by what I do. Had any of this been about money, I would have quit a long time ago. It is, as it always has been, since my first site in 1993. It is about making sure I do whatever I can to end the suffering in silence. So why the hell are so many still suffering because they are more afraid to ask for help than they are what PTSD is doing to destroy their lives? Why are so many who put their lives on the line for others, taking their own lives instead of taking control over the next second and starting to heal? If you have any ideas about what else I can do, please let me know because I am so tired of trying to get through to people. It is more than annoying to outdone by others who have no clue what they are talking about, but since for them, it is all about them, making money and getting famous, they achieved what they wanted to do. I am not saying anything different than I did back in 2008 when I posted this.
Cpl. Brent Phillips Wounded marine helps other vets get benefits Bert SassSpecial Projects Producer12 NewsFeb. 24, 2008 09:47 PM War Stories: Corporal Brent Phillips Nearly five years after he was wounded, it has taken Phillips a long time to adjust to civilian life. He says he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which affects many combat veterans. Phillips tells about flashbacks
Phillips is determined to manage his PTSD and not let it control his life. He says, "I pretty much deal with it by telling my parents about it...both sheriff's officers (in California). Both of them have been in different firefights." Phillips also finds his wife and three small children help relieve the tension. He also is taking a proactive role in helping vets, like himself, get the VA benefits they deserve. He organized a recent information meeting to help vets learn about benefits and get VA appointments. Some Valley veterans with PTSD attend regular meetings that were started by case manager Patricia Tuli at the Carl T. Hayden Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Phoenix. Tuli works with many veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan. dealings with POWs surprised Phillips Phillips describes firefight go here for the rest http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/052007warstorywebbonus-CR-CP.html
From the University of Virginia
Mental Health Disorders Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Statistics related to PTSD According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), part of the National Institutes of Health (NIH): Nearly 7.7 million Americans have PTSD at any given time. About 30 percent of men and women who have spent time in war zones experience PTSD. What is post-traumatic stress disorder? Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a debilitating condition that often follows a terrifying physical or emotional event - causing the person who survived the event to have persistent, frightening thoughts and memories, or flashbacks, of the ordeal. Persons with PTSD often feel chronically, emotionally numb. PTSD was first brought to public attention by war veterans and was once referred to as "shell shock" or "battle fatigue." The likelihood of developing PTSD depends on the severity and duration of the event, as well as the person's nearness to it. What triggers PTSD to develop? The event(s) that triggers PTSD may be: something that occurred in the person's life. something that occurred in the life of someone close to him or her. something the person witnessed. Examples include: serious accidents (such as car or train wrecks) natural disasters (such as floods or earthquakes) man-made tragedies (such as bombings, a plane crash) violent personal attacks (such as a mugging, rape, torture, being held captive, or kidnapping) military combat abuse in childhood http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/UVAHealth/adult_mentalhealth/anptsd.cfm
If PTSD wound becomes part of you, why would you be afraid to talk about it? You're not alone suffering from it. Your family is not alone coping with it. All you have to do is look over the last few years of news reports to know how large the world's population has been wounded by trauma. Thirty years ago, it was America's secret. It was trapped in whispers and silence. Hidden under shame with the thought this wound was a character defect of those who suffered from it. They would look at others who lived through the exact same event appearing to be untouched. The thought of being weaker than others caused them to suffer in secret. It was not a well kept secret because others could see the changes in them. Families began to keep the secret as well. They would find excuses why a combat veteran would not go to family functions. They would find excuses to provide bosses when they could not go to work because of yet another night of terrifying nightmares. I found myself making excuse as well. Even though I knew what PTSD was from the beginning, it was hard to protect my husband from judgmental attitudes that PTSD meant Jack was crazy. Working in offices, and most of the time surrounded by men, it was hard to hear them talk about normal life. They would talk about taking their wives to movies. I would tell them I wasn't interested in going to movies, when the truth was, I loved to go to them. I couldn't tell them my husband couldn't tolerate them anymore. He couldn't handle being in a crowd, in the dark and feeling vulnerable especially if he had a flashback, feeling as if the enemy was right behind his seat. They would complain their wife stole the covers at night or how she would stick her cold feet on their warm leg. I couldn't do anything more than laugh while I wanted to cry. My husband and I never spent an entire night in the same bed during our 23 years of marriage. I doubt we ever will. The church I attended back home in Massachusetts, the same one I attended since birth, where everyone knew me, hardly knew what my husband looked like. Some wondered if we were still married. I would go shopping by myself because he couldn't stand the malls and hated to be in crowds. The list goes on of how what we found to be normal for us, was abnormal to the rest of the world. Years later it was easier to talk about it because I had come into contact with so many others going through the same things. Once someone spoke of it, or I indicated something about it, then the communication opened up. It was never racking every time I did because I wondered what they were thinking about me and especially about Jack. To this day, knowing what I know, knowing the stories of others, knowing that we are not alone with this, I still feel the need to protect him. I don't even use my married name when I write. Often I wonder why I would still feel this need of protecting him considering to me there is no reason the stigma lives on and that there is no shame in being human, no shame in being wounded by tragedy and trauma and there is nothing about him to be ashamed of. To me, he is an amazing man, filled with kindness and gentleness as well as strength. His character lives on beneath the dark days of flashbacks and drained days following nightmares. Still in my mind I know the attitude of too many in this country and around the world. It is one of the reasons I work so hard to provide information and stories of others going through all of this. Sooner or later there will be no more stigma to overcome. There are some people who can speak openly about the ravages of PTSD on their lives. I admire them greatly. It's very hard to have all of this going on in your life and be able to talk about it. It takes a lot of courage to be able to look at your life and see the need to open up about it. Jack can't. I walk a very thin line on what I feel free to speak out about and what remains in the shadow of the work I do. When I did the video Coming Out Of The Dark, the song by Gloria Estefan was perfect.
COMING OUT OF THE DARK (Gloria Estefan) Why be afraid if I'm not alone? Though life is never easy, the rest is unknown Up to now, for me, it's been hands against stone Spent each and ev'ry moment Searching for what to believe Coming out of the dark I finally see the light now And it's shining on me Coming out of the dark I know the love that saved me You're sharing with me Starting again is part of the plan And I'll be so much stronger holding your hand Step by step, I'll make it through; I know I can It may not make it easier But I have felt you near all the way Forever and ever, I stand on the rock of your love Forever and ever, I'll stand on the rock Forever and ever, I stand on the rock of your love Love is all it takes, no matter what we face
Why is it that we still feel the need to be ashamed and afraid? What is there to be afraid of? The thoughts of others who would not have those ignorant thoughts if we all spoke out about it? The more people talk about being human, surviving a traumatic event, overcoming it and still stand, the weaker the stigma will become. It takes a greatness of character to survive the carnage of combat, the violence of police work, the tragedy of a firefighter and emergency responder, the terror of crime and the wrath of nature. Yet we look at the survivors as damaged instead of wounded. When we look at the veterans who have committed suicide, we fail to see how they not only carried on when their lives were in danger, as well as their military brothers and sisters, they acted with bravery and courage. It was not until they were no longer in danger from the human enemy, but when they were back home with the enemy in their mind that they felt they could no longer go on. When they commit suicide while deployed, they don't do it while the fight is going on, but in the quiet of their barracks or the silence of the night.
Family Thinks PTSD Drove Veteran to Suicide Dylan Darling Redding Record Searchlight Feb 24, 2008 February 24, 2008 - During Michael Sherriff's nine-month tour in the battlefields of Iraq, his mother worried that one day a pair of Army officers in full dress would come to her door with terrible news. "You're just on edge every single minute," Jennifer Cass said. She didn't dream her son would become a victim of the war the way he did -- not on a faraway battlefield like she feared, but like a growing number of veterans -- by his own hand once he made it home. Of 807,694 veterans diagnosed with depression and treated at a Department of Veterans Affairs facility nationwide between 1999 and 2004, 1,683 committed suicide, according to a study released in October 2007 by the University of Michigan Depression Center. After her son safely returned stateside in April 2004, Cass dealt with a new set of worries. She said she began experiencing stress and anxiety as her Mikey had an increasingly difficult time adjusting to civilian life. http://www.veteransforcommonsense.org/articleid/9410
Information, sharing and caring will erode the stigma and replace it with hope. Hope that they will be able to speak of what is happening inside of them and be embraced instead of embarrassed. Hope that once they say they need help, the help they need to heal will be there waiting for them. Hope that as soon as they know the trauma was too strong for them, they will be supported by those who care about them. Hope that life can regain a quality of what it once was. Hope that compassion will rap arms around them instead of point fingers at them. So why be afraid if you're not alone? 7.7 million Americans are in the same company of wounded. We are not the only nation with PTSD. Every nation has a population of people wounded by it as long as they have humans in it.
PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos December 22, 2018 ***Note to readers: I am unplugged until 12/27 to plug into my family for Christmas.***
This time of year it seems as if everyone is either doing the holiday or the Holy Day. Big difference when you think about it. The holiday is tied to buying stuff, eating stuff and having fun. The Holy Day is remembering why the day came to be in the first place.
The Christmas Delivery did not come on Christmas day but it is the day we celebrate the delivery arriving into the world. The Christmas Delivery did not come on a jet, or in a grand way at all. This Delivery came on the back of a donkey, with Mary and Joseph. Oh, sure you know the rest of the story and the gifts that the Wisemen brought. But did you ever think of the rest of the story? The birth of Jesus was not meant to be anything other than what it was. He came into this world to deliver a message, and then, deliver His life as payment for what sins He never committed, because we managed to do all of them. There are so many other things to be said about what Jesus was, including, a homeless person depending on the kindness of strangers. But what He inspired, was clear even in war. read more here
Breaking your silence: First-hand accounts from our first responders and their families
Our Stressed Into Silence series has prompted several of you to come forward with your experiences with PTSD. These are your stories.
Author: Brooke Hasch, Rob Harris, Courtney Hayden
December 21, 2018
Over the last week, WHAS11 has aired a series called, Stressed into Silence, shedding light on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) among first responders. Their stories - raw and powerful. The vulnerability of those who came forward have inspired others to break the silence.
For this firefighter, it was a call he should not have gone on. It was Mother's day and the address was his parent's house. Listen to him talk about getting help.
One thing I need to add here is that if you understood that PTSD only comes after you were hit by it and survived it, then there would be no need to feel ashamed of the damn thing.
Flash for a healing chance PTSD Patrol Kathie Costos October 7, 2018 When your vehicle is having trouble, there is a simple button you push to let others know you need help. It turns on your hazard lights.
Everyone behind you sees those lights. They will either pass you by with caution, or they may try to help you. This is from WheelZine When to Use Hazard Lights Though most people use hazard lights for mundane and unimportant things like speaking on the cell-phone while in traffic (which is illegal, mind you) or lighting a cigarette or adjusting the music system, the actual purpose behind the installation of these lights is to communicate a possible danger to the oncoming or passing traffic. Given below are some of the occasions when you can and should use hazard lights.
When you are experiencing a sudden car problem in the middle of traffic, switch on the lights and slowly pull over. Keep the lights flashing till the problem is solved.
In case of dense fog, you can switch on the hazard lights to warn traffic on both the sides of the road.
When traffic on a usually traffic-free road is slow or stalled for some reason, you can turn on the hazard lights to indicate to the traffic behind you that traffic ahead of you is stalled.
Another situation in which you can turn on hazard lights is when you are moving up a steep slope, which has caused your vehicle to slow down considerably. The blinkers will tell the vehicles behind you to proceed with caution.
In the 70's we had Mood Rings that were supposed to let other people know how we were feeling. read more here
Shock Absorbers Surround You! PTSD Patrol Sunday Morning Empowerment Zone Kathie Costos August 26, 2018 When we got the idea to turn PTSD Patrol into something related to vehicles, it was odd, to say the least. Once explained that people understand the vehicle they drive a lot more than the vehicle they live in, it only made sense to do it this way.
There are a lot of automotive parts that can be used to explain the vehicle you live in. Your body is your ride and we are all different but the stuff that makes it work can be linked to the stuff that goes into the vehicle you drive. If you took a job to save others, you took on a lot more than most people have to deal with on a daily basis. That is why there are over 7 million citizens with PTSD, and you helped most of them survive.
If lives of strangers meant that much to you, then don't you think they matter to those you serve with? Ok, then why don't you get that your buddies would want to save you too? Read about shock absorbers From Firestone
HOW DO STRUTS AND SHOCKS WORK?
The suspension on your car is made up of many components, including a set of springs that absorb bumps and road impact, a set of struts that support your springs, and a set of shocks (short for shock absorbers) that limit the bounce your car experiences by absorbing residual movement in suspension springs.
Without properly maintained struts and shocks an unexpected pothole, or even a gravel road, can actually cause the wheels of a vehicle to bounce off of the ground, which can easily lead to loss of control and collision. read more here
Independence Day and time to celebrate what is possible. That is the way this country started. Isn't it? It began when some people saw suffering and did more than dream about what was possible. They risked their lives for it.
When I think of all the men and women who put their lives on the line, then returned home, I wonder what it was like for them. What did their families think when they were changed by everything they saw...and did?
What was it like not knowing what to do, or what to say, to take away the pain that was in their eyes?
It isn't that hard to imagine the experience because in the 80's, that was something I had to wonder about. That was when I met my husband.
We met over a decade after he came home from Vietnam. Back then, there was no way of knowing what came home with him. My Dad, a Korean War veteran, couldn't explain it, but it was clear he understood when he used the term "shell shock."
"During World War I, some people saw shell shock as cowardice or malingering, but Charles S. Myers convinced the British military to take it seriously and developed approaches that still guide treatment today."
We were just average people, trying to do the best we could to live the best life possible. We had no way of knowing what the experts had learned. What made it harder was that did not know how to make living easier that it was.
When I wanted to know what my Dad saw, I had to go to the library. Hours, weeks, months later I began to understand. What I learned, actually made me love veterans more. I understood what PTSD and what Vietnam did to him.
Back then, my husband was my best friend. Sure I knew about the nightmares and flashbacks, mood swings and memory problems, along with everything else. What I did not know was that it could get worse for him, and us. It did.
After years of feeling like I was living with a stranger, one day it happened and he came back home as the man I fell in love with. No matter what he had been through, he was still the same loving, caring best friend I decided to spend the rest of my life with.
We've been together since 1982!
He is the reason I do what I do and have done for over 3 decades. The thing is, for all the talk about what is wrong with veterans, few are letting them know what is right about them.
I know my husband's heart as much as I know the demons he still fights. I know that he has enormous strength within his emotional core to the point where he can see a sunset and scream with joy so that I can share the experience with him. I see the drive he has when he wants to do something as much as I see the laidback chill-out times when he is watching an old TV show.
If you have a veteran in your life, you can help your best friend come home too. Nothing is impossible as long as we are ready to fight this battle with them instead of wondering what came home with them.