PTSD Patrol For The Love of Jack

PTSD Patrol post went up late today because I was being interviewed for my book, For The Love of Jack.

If someone you love needs you to fight for them, this is the way to start being able to do it!

When your battle begins after their battle was supposed to end

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 9, 2019

The PTSD Patrol video is late today because I was doing an interview with Sgt. Dave Matthews for KLRN Radio show Remember the Fallen. It is heard on Thursdays at 8:00 pm eastern time.

For The Love of Jack by Kathie Costos on Amazon

We were talking about my book FOR THE LOVE OF JACK. This is part of the interview. If you want to hear the rest, you'll have to wait until  Thursday.

Next week, I'll have more of this.
go here to see the video

Texas veterans remind others they do not have to fight PTSD alone

Veterans try to combat depression, suicides after return to civilian life

Houston Chronicle
Robert Downen
May 11, 2019

But little of that prepared them for their new battle - the war with depression, post-traumatic stress disorder and suicide that has claimed 14 men from the battalion since they returned in 2006.

Smith’s funeral was the third that year. O’Neel felt like he’d failed him. Danny O’Neel could not help but feel guilt as he stared over his former sniper’s casket.

As a 23-year-old squadron leader, he’d protected Adam Smith and the other soldiers of the Army’s 3rd Battalion, 67th Armored Regiment while deployed to one of Iraq’s most violent parts.

Sadr City in 2006 was “terrible,” “one of the most dangerous places on earth,” O’Neel said Saturday.

Some men lost limbs; nine lost their lives.

“We want to remind them all that they didn’t go through war alone,” Faun said. “They didn’t have gunfights alone. And they don’t need to battle things at home alone.”
read more here

Yale researcher find elevated risk of suicide with PTSD

Biomarker reveals PTSD sufferers at risk of suicide

Yale News
By Bill Hathaway
May 13, 2019

There are two FDA approved treatments for PTSD, both of which are anti-depressants. It can take weeks or months to determine whether they are effective. That can be too late for those who are suicidal, note the researchers.

Brains of individuals with PTSD and suicidal thoughts (top) show higher levels of mGluR5 compared to healthy controls (bottom).

The risk of suicide among individuals with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is much higher than the general population, but identifying those individuals at greatest risk has been difficult. However, a team at Yale has discovered a biological marker linked to individuals with PTSD who are most likely to think about suicide, the researchers report May 13 in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Researchers used PET imaging to measure levels of metabotropic glutamatergic receptor 5 (mGluR5) — which has been implicated in anxiety and mood disorders — in individuals with PTSD and major depressive disorder. They found high levels of mGluR5 in the PTSD group with current suicidal thoughts. They found no such elevated levels in the PTSD group with no suicidal thoughts or in those with depression, with or without current suicidal thoughts.
read more here

Wonder if they ever thought to study people who are healing PTSD instead?

Can you imagine what that scan would look like or how much hope it would offer to people with PTSD to see that they could not just change their lives but actually change the way their brain works by filling it up with more hopeful thoughts?

Imagine if they took a scan of someone before they believed they were worthy of being forgiven and then one after they accepted the fact they were? 

Why do researchers only track what is failing instead of tracking people who have managed to take control of their lives again?

Instead of dismissing your own emotions, honor what you are feeling

Break Pads

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 14, 2019

When you are grieving, sometimes you need to apply the brakes...so that you can #BreakTheSilence of what you are going through. 

Most of the time people do not know what to expect from themselves. You may judge yourself, or expect more from your core.

Instead of dismissing your own emotions, honor what you are feeling so you can being the healing.

If you are angry, then honor it. I yelled at my Dad at the cemetery a few days after his funeral. I chewed out my brother at the funeral home before everyone else got there. I was angry because I wanted them to still be here.

If you are sad, then honor that. They were a part of your life and they still can be in your memories of them. There comes a time when those memories will stop being painful reminders they are gone. The memories become fond ones of times when they were here.

Do not judge yourself or let anyone else judge you for not grieving enough or too much, or taking too long to "get over it" because they did it another way.
read more here

First responders often haunted by what they see

Strong, brave and traumatized: Upstate SC first responders often haunted by what they see

The Greenville News
Liv Osby
April 1, 2019

James Kaiser loved being a paramedic.

It’s all he ever wanted to do.

At 49, he’d been helping people for nearly three decades, shocking a heart attack victim back to life or stanching the bleeding wounds of a teenager who crashed his car into a tree, and keeping them alive in the ambulance until they could reach the hospital.

Then one February night in 2016, after preparing a special meal for his family, he walked out into the front yard, put his gun to his head, and took his own life.

“He had not been diagnosed with PTSD,” his wife, Sheila Kaiser, told The Greenville News.

“But I know from living with him ... that he did suffer from it.”

Strong and courageous
James Kaiser is among an alarming number of first responders contemplating and dying by suicide.

Of 4,022 EMS staffers and firefighters responding to a 2015 survey, 37 percent had contemplated suicide and 6.6 percent had attempted to take their own lives, according to research published in the Journal of Emergency Medical Services.
read more here


This may help explain the difference between civilians with PTSD and the responders who try to save their lives every day.

Grieving does not mean you are weak...it means you are human. While you are heroic, you are not superhuman and the way you may think things could have turned out differently, the events were not scripted and it was not a movie where the director allows the impossible to be possible.

The Resilient, band like no other

"We just wear our scars on the outside": Band of wounded warriors healing through music

CBS NEWS
By DAVID MARTIN
March 25, 2019

"There's something about it, that just, the motivation, the drive, the just the soul of it. It doesn't feel it can go anywhere but up," Donley said.

Bethel, Pa. — In a house in the woods in the middle of Pennsylvania, some of the most important music in America is being played by a band called The Resilient. But you don't need to be a music critic to say that. All you have to do is look.

Nate Kalwicki on guitar lost his right leg in Afghanistan. Marcus D'Andrea on bass lost both legs. So did lead vocalist Tim Donley. Juan Dominguez lost both legs and an arm, yet somehow plays the drums with a special pedal and drum stick. He's not some novelty act.

"I am a drummer. I am the drummer for The Resilient and we're gonna do big things," Dominquez said.

The only member of The Resilient with all his body parts is Greg Loman, a professional musician who met the others in their darkest hour, searching for a purpose in life while recovering from their wounds.

"Through the recovery we all discovered this really intense passion for honest musicianship and they've all gotten so good," Loman said.
read more here

What is your dash telling you?

It is the middle that matters

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
February 17, 2019

When you look at your dash, there are a lot of things it can tell you. In the center, you see how far you've traveled and how fast you are going at this very moment.

THE DASH by Linda Ellis is one of those poems that is usually delivered when it is too late for the person being remembered to benefit from. It is not so much for the person being buried, but for those gathered to be able to think about their own lives.

This is part of that poem.

"He noted that first came the date of birth and spoke of the following date with tears, but he said what mattered most of all was the dash between those years."

While we have no control over when we arrive into this world, we do have control over what we do between the dates used to acknowledge we were here at all.

"FOR THAT DASH REPRESENTS ALL THE TIME THEY SPENT ALIVE ON EARTH AND NOW ONLY THOSE WHO LOVED THEM KNOW WHAT THAT LITTLE LINE IS WORTH."

Question; What is your line worth? Can you see it all or is it mostly a blur with symbols you cannot really understand?
read more here

Soldier's heart does not have to include head full of demons

You are smarter than slogans

Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
February 5, 2019

Someone lied to you. Someone told you something and you believed it because you trusted them. You never bothered to ask them to prove it was true.

I do not need someone to prove God is real. I see it everyday. I see it in the unique people who always put others first, even if it means they will be last for everything.

I see it when men and women are willing to endure all kinds of hardships, including the judgment of fools, for the sake of others.

I see God's Love in all types of acts of kindness and compassion, mercy, inspiration and unselfishness.

I also see what evil can do pretending to be good. I do not need proof that the Demon is real. I see what he does to those who find purpose serving others.

I also see it when people claim they are doing something to change what is wrong, when the result proves they lied to us. They can deny it all they want, but after all these years of hearing how important it is to prevent suicides, and how expensive it is according to them, we see suffering increase every year.

We hear it from the Department of Defense, the Department of Veterans Affairs, Congress and especially from all the "awareness" fundraisers running around the country with their BS stunts. Did they think we wouldn't notice that they are spreading messages of despair instead of anything helpful?

Before they were "paying attention" we were way ahead of all of them. We were talking about what failed as well as what worked. Ignorance failed but knowledge heals.

Kathie Costos DiCesare
Published on Oct 21, 2012
There are many things that keep getting missed when we talk about Combat and PTSD. This is to clear up the biggest one of all. What is courage and how does it link to being "mentally tough" so that you can push past what you were told about "resiliency" training. Chaplain Kathie "Costos" DiCesare of Wounded Times Blog tries to explain this in interview done by Union Squared Studios. woundedtimes.blogspot.com

So we were told over and over again, that everyone in charge was paying attention at the same time they tried to come up with excuses. Then they asked for more money, to keep doing the same thing that already failed, and we were no longer able to count the number of the dead. Well, at least not in the veterans community, but because Congress mandated the DOD to track suicides within the military, we have a more up to date report with data that proves none of the "awareness" they actually needed to become aware of was able to get to them. All the crap got in the way.

So, here are the latest headlines on military suicides. 

Suicides among active-duty soldiers are up about 20 percent

Army Times
By: Meghann Myers
February 4, 2019

“We must continue to ensure commanders have the policies and resources they need to prevent suicides, that all leaders have the tools to identify soldiers who are suffering and to positively intervene, and that all soldiers view seeking mental health care as a sign of strength.” Col. Kathleen Turner

The Army reported an uptick in active-duty suicides in 2018, according to service statistics, though deaths by suicide were slightly down in the total force.

Out of 303 total reports, 138 came from the active-duty side ― 22 more than in 2017, Defense Department statistics show.

“Like the rest of America, the Army continues to grapple with the loss of too many of our people to suicide," Army spokeswoman Col. Kathleen Turner told Army Times in a statement Friday. “The loss of any soldier or Army family member to suicide is a tragedy.”

The most recent DoD quarterly suicide report goes back to 2012, showing a six-year high of 325 total suicides in the Army. That number dropped to 300 in 2013 and then to a low of 245 in 2014, before ramping back up to 279 in both 2015 and 2016, then jumping again to 303 in 2017.

During that time, active-duty numbers also fluctuated. The Army reported 165 active-duty suicides in 2012, which dropped to 121 in 2013, then 126 in 2014 and 120 in 2015. The past three years, the numbers have swelled and dipped from 120 in 2016 to 116 in 2017, then back up to 138.

“While the Army has made progress, more work needs to be done,” Turner said.
read more here

US Special Ops suicides triple in 2018, as military confronts the issue

CNN
Barbara Starr
February 2, 2019

Washington (CNN)Suicides among active duty military personnel assigned to US Special Operations Command tripled in 2018, in a disturbing and as yet unexplained spike, CNN has learned.

Special Operations units saw 22 deaths by suicide in 2018, almost triple the eight cases seen in 2017, according to figures provided to CNN by the command. SOCOM, as it's known, is the unified combatant command charged with overseeing the various Special Operations component of the Army, Marine Corps, Navy and Air Force that take on counterterrorism and other specialized missions. read more here

Active-Duty Military Suicides at Record Highs in 2018

Military.com
Patricia Kime
January 30, 2019

Editor’s Note: This story has been updated to include Army year-end totals.

The U.S. military finished 2018 with a troubling, sad statistic: It experienced the highest number of suicides among active-duty personnel in at least six years.

Lt. Cmdr. Karen Downer writes a name on a Suicide Awareness Memorial Canvas in honor of Suicide Awareness Month at Naval Hospital Jacksonville, Sept. 10, 2018. (U.S. Navy/Jacob Sippel, Naval Hospital Jacksonville).

Active duty Military members could save more with GEICO. Get a quote today! A total of 321 active-duty members took their lives during the year, including 57 Marines, 68 sailors, 58 airmen, and 138 soldiers.

The deaths equal the total number of active-duty personnel who died by suicide in 2012, the record since the services began closely tracking the issue in 2001. read more here

Don't you love the slogan? One too many or too few actually paying attention?

The question is, if we knew what had to be done over 4 decades ago, when serious research started, then why haven't they figured it out yet? Do not spend so much time thinking about taking your own life when you can think about how to #TakeYourLifeBack and heal! The road ahead is in your control!

It is time to take another road!

Stay out of the wrong lane

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
January 20, 2019

This morning I was thinking about how people in the wrong lane of traffic can mess up everyones ride.

I go into work at 5 am, which is great most mornings. With only a few cars on the road, it is really a nice commute. That is, until I get behind someone without a clue where they are going, and blocking the passing lane.

That happened Friday. The driver in the right lane was obeying the speed limit. The driver traveling in the passing lane was doing a little under the speed limit. There was no safe way to pass either of them.

Soon there was a group of us trapped behind them.

That is the way it is in life too. You are having a nice trip until someone gets in your way and blocks the road ahead of you, making it take longer to get to where you need to go.

If you are hearing about how many veterans someone thinks committed suicide today, you need to wonder what their point is. Who does it help when they just guess? How serious is the subject them when they cannot answer any questions? 

The most obvious question they should have been finding the answer to, is, "What will change the outcome?"

read more here

Getting rid of the stigma of PTSD is like melting black ice.

PTSD Patrol Sunday Morning Empowerment Zone
Kathie Costos
January 13, 2019

Black ice looks like a puddle but it makes the driving conditions dangerous. The stigma attached to PTSD is like black ice in your life. Facts can melt it so you can heal it! #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife
Read it here and watch the video of my office back in order again.

Combat PTSD Wounded Times 4 Million Mark

Why be afraid of PTSD?

Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 7, 2019

In less than 3,000 page views, this site will hit 4 million~

That proves a few things to me. One is that people do care about the truth and the other, is that, no matter how alone I feel doing this work, I am not alone.

That gives me courage to stick by my beliefs. It fuels hope that someone out there has been helped by what I do. Had any of this been about money, I would have quit a long time ago.

It is, as it always has been, since my first site in 1993. It is about making sure I do whatever I can to end the suffering in silence.

So why the hell are so many still suffering because they are more afraid to ask for help than they are what PTSD is doing to destroy their lives?

Why are so many who put their lives on the line for others, taking their own lives instead of taking control over the next second and starting to heal?

If you have any ideas about what else I can do, please let me know because I am so tired of trying to get through to people. It is more than annoying to outdone by others who have no clue what they are talking about, but since for them, it is all about them, making money and getting famous, they achieved what they wanted to do.

I am not saying anything different than I did back in 2008 when I posted this.

Why be afraid if you are not alone
Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
February 25, 2008

Cpl. Brent Phillips
Wounded marine helps other vets get benefits
Bert SassSpecial Projects Producer12 NewsFeb. 24, 2008 09:47 PM
War Stories: Corporal Brent Phillips


Nearly five years after he was wounded, it has taken Phillips a long time to adjust to civilian life. He says he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which affects many combat veterans.


Phillips tells about flashbacks


Phillips is determined to manage his PTSD and not let it control his life. He says, "I pretty much deal with it by telling my parents about it...both sheriff's officers (in California). Both of them have been in different firefights." Phillips also finds his wife and three small children help relieve the tension. He also is taking a proactive role in helping vets, like himself, get the VA benefits they deserve. He organized a recent information meeting to help vets learn about benefits and get VA appointments. Some Valley veterans with PTSD attend regular meetings that were started by case manager Patricia Tuli at the Carl T. Hayden Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Phoenix. Tuli works with many veterans of Iraq and Afghanistan.


dealings with POWs surprised Phillips


Phillips describes firefight


go here for the rest


http://www.azcentral.com/12news/news/articles/052007warstorywebbonus-CR-CP.html

From the University of Virginia

Mental Health Disorders
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Statistics related to PTSD
According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), part of the National Institutes of Health (NIH):

Nearly 7.7 million Americans have PTSD at any given time.

About 30 percent of men and women who have spent time in war zones experience PTSD.

What is post-traumatic stress disorder?
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a debilitating condition that often follows a terrifying physical or emotional event - causing the person who survived the event to have persistent, frightening thoughts and memories, or flashbacks, of the ordeal. Persons with PTSD often feel chronically, emotionally numb.

PTSD was first brought to public attention by war veterans and was once referred to as "shell shock" or "battle fatigue." The likelihood of developing PTSD depends on the severity and duration of the event, as well as the person's nearness to it.

What triggers PTSD to develop?
The event(s) that triggers PTSD may be:

something that occurred in the person's life.
something that occurred in the life of someone close to him or her.
something the person witnessed.
Examples include:

serious accidents (such as car or train wrecks)
natural disasters (such as floods or earthquakes)
man-made tragedies (such as bombings, a plane crash)
violent personal attacks (such as a mugging, rape, torture, being held captive, or kidnapping)
military combat
abuse in childhood

http://www.healthsystem.virginia.edu/UVAHealth/adult_mentalhealth/anptsd.cfm

If PTSD wound becomes part of you, why would you be afraid to talk about it? You're not alone suffering from it. Your family is not alone coping with it. All you have to do is look over the last few years of news reports to know how large the world's population has been wounded by trauma.

Thirty years ago, it was America's secret. It was trapped in whispers and silence. Hidden under shame with the thought this wound was a character defect of those who suffered from it. They would look at others who lived through the exact same event appearing to be untouched. The thought of being weaker than others caused them to suffer in secret. It was not a well kept secret because others could see the changes in them.

Families began to keep the secret as well. They would find excuses why a combat veteran would not go to family functions. They would find excuses to provide bosses when they could not go to work because of yet another night of terrifying nightmares.

I found myself making excuse as well. Even though I knew what PTSD was from the beginning, it was hard to protect my husband from judgmental attitudes that PTSD meant Jack was crazy. Working in offices, and most of the time surrounded by men, it was hard to hear them talk about normal life. They would talk about taking their wives to movies. I would tell them I wasn't interested in going to movies, when the truth was, I loved to go to them. I couldn't tell them my husband couldn't tolerate them anymore. He couldn't handle being in a crowd, in the dark and feeling vulnerable especially if he had a flashback, feeling as if the enemy was right behind his seat.

They would complain their wife stole the covers at night or how she would stick her cold feet on their warm leg. I couldn't do anything more than laugh while I wanted to cry. My husband and I never spent an entire night in the same bed during our 23 years of marriage. I doubt we ever will.

The church I attended back home in Massachusetts, the same one I attended since birth, where everyone knew me, hardly knew what my husband looked like. Some wondered if we were still married.

I would go shopping by myself because he couldn't stand the malls and hated to be in crowds.

The list goes on of how what we found to be normal for us, was abnormal to the rest of the world. Years later it was easier to talk about it because I had come into contact with so many others going through the same things. Once someone spoke of it, or I indicated something about it, then the communication opened up. It was never racking every time I did because I wondered what they were thinking about me and especially about Jack.

To this day, knowing what I know, knowing the stories of others, knowing that we are not alone with this, I still feel the need to protect him. I don't even use my married name when I write. Often I wonder why I would still feel this need of protecting him considering to me there is no reason the stigma lives on and that there is no shame in being human, no shame in being wounded by tragedy and trauma and there is nothing about him to be ashamed of. To me, he is an amazing man, filled with kindness and gentleness as well as strength. His character lives on beneath the dark days of flashbacks and drained days following nightmares. Still in my mind I know the attitude of too many in this country and around the world. It is one of the reasons I work so hard to provide information and stories of others going through all of this. Sooner or later there will be no more stigma to overcome.

There are some people who can speak openly about the ravages of PTSD on their lives. I admire them greatly. It's very hard to have all of this going on in your life and be able to talk about it. It takes a lot of courage to be able to look at your life and see the need to open up about it. Jack can't. I walk a very thin line on what I feel free to speak out about and what remains in the shadow of the work I do.

When I did the video Coming Out Of The Dark, the song by Gloria Estefan was perfect.

COMING OUT OF THE DARK (Gloria Estefan)

Why be afraid if I'm not alone?
Though life is never easy, the rest is unknown
Up to now, for me, it's been hands against stone
Spent each and ev'ry moment
Searching for what to believe


Coming out of the dark
I finally see the light now
And it's shining on me
Coming out of the dark
I know the love that saved me
You're sharing with me

Starting again is part of the plan
And I'll be so much stronger holding your hand
Step by step, I'll make it through; I know I can
It may not make it easier
But I have felt you near all the way


Forever and ever, I stand on the rock of your love
Forever and ever, I'll stand on the rock
Forever and ever, I stand on the rock of your love
Love is all it takes, no matter what we face

Why is it that we still feel the need to be ashamed and afraid? What is there to be afraid of? The thoughts of others who would not have those ignorant thoughts if we all spoke out about it? The more people talk about being human, surviving a traumatic event, overcoming it and still stand, the weaker the stigma will become. It takes a greatness of character to survive the carnage of combat, the violence of police work, the tragedy of a firefighter and emergency responder, the terror of crime and the wrath of nature. Yet we look at the survivors as damaged instead of wounded.

When we look at the veterans who have committed suicide, we fail to see how they not only carried on when their lives were in danger, as well as their military brothers and sisters, they acted with bravery and courage. It was not until they were no longer in danger from the human enemy, but when they were back home with the enemy in their mind that they felt they could no longer go on. When they commit suicide while deployed, they don't do it while the fight is going on, but in the quiet of their barracks or the silence of the night.

Family Thinks PTSD Drove Veteran to Suicide

Dylan Darling


Redding Record Searchlight

Feb 24, 2008


February 24, 2008 - During Michael Sherriff's nine-month tour in the battlefields of Iraq, his mother worried that one day a pair of Army officers in full dress would come to her door with terrible news.

"You're just on edge every single minute," Jennifer Cass said.

She didn't dream her son would become a victim of the war the way he did -- not on a faraway battlefield like she feared, but like a growing number of veterans -- by his own hand once he made it home.

Of 807,694 veterans diagnosed with depression and treated at a Department of Veterans Affairs facility nationwide between 1999 and 2004, 1,683 committed suicide, according to a study released in October 2007 by the University of Michigan Depression Center.

After her son safely returned stateside in April 2004, Cass dealt with a new set of worries. She said she began experiencing stress and anxiety as her Mikey had an increasingly difficult time adjusting to civilian life.

http://www.veteransforcommonsense.org/articleid/9410

Information, sharing and caring will erode the stigma and replace it with hope. Hope that they will be able to speak of what is happening inside of them and be embraced instead of embarrassed. Hope that once they say they need help, the help they need to heal will be there waiting for them. Hope that as soon as they know the trauma was too strong for them, they will be supported by those who care about them. Hope that life can regain a quality of what it once was. Hope that compassion will rap arms around them instead of point fingers at them.

So why be afraid if you're not alone? 7.7 million Americans are in the same company of wounded. We are not the only nation with PTSD. Every nation has a population of people wounded by it as long as they have humans in it.

Christmas delivery unlike any other

Christmas Delivery

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
December 22, 2018

***Note to readers: I am unplugged until 12/27 to plug into my family for Christmas.***

This time of year it seems as if everyone is either doing the holiday or the Holy Day. Big difference when you think about it. The holiday is tied to buying stuff, eating stuff and having fun. The Holy Day is remembering why the day came to be in the first place.

The Christmas Delivery did not come on Christmas day but it is the day we celebrate the delivery arriving into the world.

The Christmas Delivery did not come on a jet, or in a grand way at all. This Delivery came on the back of a donkey, with Mary and Joseph. Oh, sure you know the rest of the story and the gifts that the Wisemen brought. But did you ever think of the rest of the story?

The birth of Jesus was not meant to be anything other than what it was. He came into this world to deliver a message, and then, deliver His life as payment for what sins He never committed, because we managed to do all of them.

There are so many other things to be said about what Jesus was, including, a homeless person depending on the kindness of strangers. But what He inspired, was clear even in war.
read more here