Give your love story a fighting chance against PTSD

Your love solid as a rock!

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 29, 2019

If you love someone with PTSD, you may think that it is hopeless. Trust me on that one, I remember what that was like. 

Why does there seem to be more and more reasons to walk away and less reasons to stay?

Sure you've heard all the talk about "being broken" and "damaged" along with all the other hurtful stuff people say. What they say is based on the inability to learn much at all about what it takes to be a survivor.  After all, those are the only people who get hit by PTSD...those who survived what put their lives in danger.

If they are a veteran of service caused PTSD, that makes them very special, and it also causes a deeper level of PTSD. 

They care so much about others, they were willing to die to save them. While most people automatically run away from danger, they made it their job to run toward it.

When you love them, it is so easy to mess up. It is easy to question why they seem to be so much different than the person you fell in love with. You'll find answers. You'll find reasons to blame and most of the time, you blame them.

Isn't it time that you invested your time to find out exactly what the real reason for the changes is?

I did. After 37 years when I heard the song "Solid" As A Rock by Ashford and Simpson, all I could think about was all the effort that went into our relationship has left us solid as a rock.

It is the reason why I wrote For the Love of Jack, His War My Battle in 2002 and republished it in 2012.

Want to avoid losing time when you could be enjoying celebrating a love that is solid as a rock with someone who was able to love so much they risked their lives for it? Read the book, watch the videos on YouTube and you can show your love is so strong you were willing to help them heal and fight by their side.

Solid
Ashford and Simpson

And for love's sake, each mistake
Ah, you forgave
And soon both of us learned to trust
Not run away, it was no time to play
We build it up and build it up and build it up
And now it's solid
Solid as a rock
That's what this love is
That's what we've got, oh
Solid, solid as a rock
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot
Oh, you didn't turn away
When the sky went gray
Somehow we managed
We had to stick together (oh, oh)
You didn't bat an eye
When I made you cry
We knew down the line
We would make it better (oh, oh)
And for love's sake, each mistake
Ah, you forgave
And soon both of us learned to trust
Not run away, it was no time to play
We build it up and build it up and build it up
And now it's solid
Solid as a rock
That's what this love is (oh, oh)
That's what we've got (oh)
Yes, it is
Solid, solid as a rock
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot
Oh, gone with the wind
Another friend
Got in between
Tried to separate us (oh, oh)
Oh, knock-knock on wood
You understood
Love was so new
We did what we had to (ooh, ooh)
And with that feeling
We were willing to take a chance
So against all odds, we made a start
We got serious, this wouldn't turn to dust
We build it up and build it up and build it up
And now it's solid
Solid as a rock
That's what this love is, oh
That's what we've got, oh
Solid (yes, it is)
Solid as a rock
And nothing's changed it
The thrill is still hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot , hot
Solid, solid as a rock (you know it, well, you know it, baby)
Solid, solid as a rock (lovin' me, lovin' me, oh)
Solid (don't leave me, baby)
Solid as a rock (well, well, well, well)
Solid, solid as a rock (every day it gets sweeter, now)
Solid, solid as a rock (good, good, well, it's good, good, good)
Solid
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: Nickolas Ashford / Valerie Simpson
Solid lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

What the Dems need to know about veterans

What should the next president know about veterans?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 28, 2019

For the last couple of nights I tried to make it through watching the Democrats debates, but ended up changing the channel.

How is it that they have missed what our veterans actually want in return for their service?

PBS News Hour

We heard a lot about how awful civilian healthcare system is. We know that, since we live with it all the time. So how is it that none of them managed to acknowledge that sending disabled veterans into that system subjects them to the same problems they are already dealing with in the VA system?

It puts them into a long line of patients who were there before them. New patients always have to wait for first appointments. 

It makes them wait even longer to see a specialist, if they find one willing to deal with the VA.

What makes all this even worse is the fact that civilian doctors do not understand military culture or their unique healthcare needs.

That's the conclusion of a study published in Family Practice titled "Caring for veterans in U.S. civilian primary care: qualitative interviews with primary care providers."

This is not a new issue for them. It was one of the reasons the VA started in the first place. Veterans are not civilians and their wounds, the healthcare issues that created the disability originated with their service to this country. In other words, they pre-paid for their healthcare.

Taking a look at the civilian healthcare system, their track record is too unreliable to subject veterans into that system.

While current military and veteran suicides have increased, the suicides in the civilian population have gone up as well.

Suicide rates among people 15 to 64 increased significantly during that period, rising from 10.5 per 100,000 people in 1999 to 14 per 100,000 in 2017, the most recent year with available data, according to annual research published by the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics..."

How is it possible that President Trump and members of Congress thought it was a good idea to send veterans into worse care instead of fixing the VA?

How are they not ashamed to admit how little they know about our veterans unique needs?

We have the same problems in civilian care the veterans have to deal with. We wait for appointments, then wait for appointments with specialists. 

We deal with insurance companies deciding what care they will pay for instead of what doctors decide is necessary.

They cannot sue for malpractice if the doctor does not work for the VA

A doctor who he thought worked for VA, but was actually an independent contractor, botched his diagnoses delaying treatment for months. In the meantime, his condition became so grim that he feared for his own life. According to documents obtained by Connecting Vets, the hospital openly admits that Tally received second-rate care while at a VA emergency room in Loma Linda, Calif., about 56 miles east of Los Angeles.

But they can sue the VA if their care was provided by the VA.

PTSD is something that over 7 million Americans are suffering from, but the President thinks private doctors should also take care of veterans dealing with PTSD combat caused? They cannot even take care of the first responders suffering from what their jobs did in their own communities!

This "choice" is not what the veterans want or deserve from any president! They want a VA that works for them!

NYPD 4 Officer Suicides in 3 Weeks

4 Officer Suicides in 3 Weeks: N.Y.P.D. Struggles to Dispel Mental Health Stigma

The New York Times
By Ashley Southall
June 27, 2019

First, there was the deputy chief facing mandatory retirement as his 63rd birthday approached. The next day, it was a veteran homicide detective who had talked dozens of people out of killing themselves.

Officers embraced on a street behind the 121st Precinct station house on Staten Island, where Officer Michael Caddy, 29, ended his own life on June 14.CreditCreditBryan Anselm for The New York Times

A week later, it was a young patrolman handling domestic violence cases and going through a divorce. Then on Wednesday, a veteran officer was found dead at his home on Long Island.

All four officers took their own lives this month with their service pistols, highlighting an uncomfortable reality: More police officers commit suicide every year in New York City than are killed in the line of duty, and the department’s efforts to persuade despondent officers to seek counseling have had only limited success.

Since 2014, an average of five New York City police officers have taken their own lives each year, according to the Police Department. Six have died by suicide in the last six months alone.

The recent cluster of deaths prompted Commissioner James P. O’Neill to declare a mental-health crisis and to direct officers to seek help.
read more here

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife

Now that VA suicide prevention office getting new leader...will they figure out wrong awareness being raised?

VA’s top suicide prevention official departing in July

Military Times
By: Leo Shane III
June 26, 2019

At least 24 suicides have occurred on VA campuses in the last 20 months, several in public areas. But department officials insist that the suicide rate at those clinics and hospitals has actually decreased in recent years, even as visibility of the problems has risen.

Dr. Keita Franklin, who has served as the National Director for Suicide Prevention at VA for the last 18 months, will step down from the job in July. (Zachary Hada/Air Force)

Veterans Affairs’ top suicide prevention official will leave that post next month as the congressional focus on the department’s efforts continues to increase.

Dr. Keita Franklin, who has served as the National Director for Suicide Prevention at VA for the last 18 months, will step down from the job in July. Officials said the move was not related to any issues with her office’s performance but instead based on other career opportunities outside of VA.

Dr. Matt Miller, the current director of the Veterans Crisis Line, will fill the post in an acting capacity until a permanent replacement is selected.

In a statement, department leaders praised Franklin for her work in the last few years, giving her credit for “key successes” in improving mental health care for veterans. Prior to joining VA, she served as the Defense Department’s top suicide prevention official.

Last fall, lawmakers blasted the department after the Government Accountability Office found that more than $6 million in suicide prevention and mental health support outreach funds went unspent by the department in fiscal 2018. Officials blamed that mistake on leadership changes at the department in prior months, including the firing of former VA Secretary David Shulkin.
read more here

Boise Fire Department FINDING HOPE

FINDING HOPE: Boise Fire Department coping with suicide death, fighting stigma of mental illness

KIVI News
By: Karen Lehr
Jun 25, 2019

"New firefighters saw veteran firefighters break down, and they talked about their feelings and how they were feeling that day, and really that has changed the stigma around it," Doan explained. "Other firefighters are seeing it's okay to seek treatment, that it's okay to not be okay."

BOISE, Idaho — Tuesday, May 21 is a day most Boise firefighters will never forget. Early that morning, firefighters at Station #6 discovered Senior Firefighter Charlie Ruffing died by suicide while working overnight.

It was known within the department Ruffing was facing struggles with his mental health. He was undergoing counseling to deal with post traumatic stress injuries as a result of incidents witnessed on the job over the course of his 20 year career.

A recent bill - passed this legislative session - will soon allow those working on the front lines in Idaho to file for workers compensation to cover the cost of treating psychological injuries incurred while on the job, but Boise Fire is doing even more to make sure this never happens again on their watch.
read more here

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife