Mel B furious another veteran committed suicide

Mel B angry over lack of help to ex-bodyguard who killed self

Gulf Today
December 2, 2019

Ash was in the defence forces for 12 years and apparently suffered mentally after leaving the Marines.

Mel-B-750 Singer Mel B poses for the photographers. File photo/AFP

Singer Mel B has said that more needs to be done in order to help those in the forces dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) following the death of her former bodyguard, Corporal Ash Nickles (31).

Corporal Ash Nickles, an Afghanistan war veteran, was found dead at his home wearing his ceremonial blues uniform along with his medals on November 22, reports dailystar.co.uk.

It is reported that the former Marine sought help from two different medical centres for his PTSD, but both allegedly turned him down.

And this did not go down well with Mel B.

She said: "It was a damming indictment of lack of help for those suffering from PTSD, who are in such desperate need. I talked a lot to Ash about PTSD. I suffer from it as a result of an emotional and abusive marriage and he suffered from it as a result of what he went through and what he saw in war zones.
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After two months, Wounded Times is back in operation

Wounded Times is back

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 1, 2019

After two months, Wounded Times is back in operation...although right now, I do believe only part of my brain arrived in our new home.

September 30th was our 35th anniversary. It was also the day we closed on our old home and headed up north. When the movers closed the door to the truck, we got into the car without a clue where we would end up living.

We headed to a La Quinta because they allow dogs and then I thought about how strange life was. It was our anniversary and I was unemployed because of the move. We were also basically homeless since the house we thought we were going to buy did not do well on the inspection. We had to start the search all over again.

The thought of all of this should have freaked me out but I cracked up laughing. Then I blurted out,"35th anniversary...I am unemployed and homeless! Yahoo! Road trip for our second honeymoon~We knew we had to do this so that we could live closer to our daughter.

I had to leave my job at Fidelity National Title and everyone on our team in Timeshares. After 5 years it was very hard leaving them since they were more than coworkers...they were family too.

Here is the catch up.

Our first real estate agents in Florida sucked big time! The house was over priced and they were not interested in earning their commission. (Never deal with people you think are supposed to be your friends.) The pictures were horrible and they stopped returning my phone calls. Long story short, I had to get a lawyer to get them to cancel the contract. We lost two months with them.

We got another agent Wes Garrison of ReMax and he knew what he was doing so well that he sold the house in less than 2 weeks. He also managed to keep me from losing my mind. He had a professional photographer show up with a drone and the pictures were so good, I was amazed our house could look like that...and we lived there for 15 years.

We lost count on how many people came to see it, but the best part of all is that the buyers were actually people we knew and very glad to know they are in the home we loved.

After we signed the agreement, Hurricane Humberto was going up the east coast, so we had to wait to fly to New Hampshire to find a house. We thought we found a great one just across the Maine border, made an offer, and flew back home. 

The inspection turned out to be lousy and we had to walk away. Since we had already agreed to sell our house, we did not want to go back on our word, so we started packing...and sweating it out.

On the move side we had Catherine Allen of Keller Williams Coastal Realty. Moving over 1,600 miles away is hard, but after the mess the first selling agent put us in, Catherine was a true blessing! She got me through all that with some sanity left, got me through the inspection on the house in Maine killing the deal and then when it was time to search again, she had what we wanted all lined up. 

We spent the first week of October on the road. Then we stayed with our good friends for two more weeks. We started looking the second week in October. Some houses were OK but not what we wanted. 

This house had just listed a couple of days before we saw it and we offered their asking price. They said "yes" and mortgage broker Brad Kelly of Annie Mac and his team were able to get us to the closing table early in November in less than a month after we saw it.

Murray had to be boarded and we missed him so much that we picked him up and went to the Governor's Inn in Rochester. 

All of the staff made the stay memorable. It was amazing how people can be so nice that you can feel as if you are home. I was so comfortable there, I started walking around the grounds with just my socks on to have a cigarette. 

Murray started barking at the guests as if to say "get off my property" and I had a table in the bar for dinner every night since we had to eat in shifts so that Murray was not alone in the room.

It took two more weeks for our things to arrive from the movers and we are still unpacking.

Coming soon is an organized office so that I can find stuff again. Also coming is that Point Man has decided that I will start the first Out Post for female veterans in the area, especially since I am near the border of Maine. Hopefully I will find a location soon and I'll let you know when and where.

During all of this I have kept track of what has been going on with our veterans and I am more pissed off than ever! The news is terrible but too much is being accepted when none of what is going on should be accepted by anyone! With the national media and social media not paying attention to any of it, people run their mouths off with lies and slogans going unchallenged. The truth will only be known if we get as serious about sharing it as the liars have been for far too long.

Plan on daily updates as much as I can while we are still in the process of getting settled...and my brain resuming normal operations again, or at least as close as that can be.

Last post for Wounded Times

We're moving

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 30, 2019

My husband and I are moving back north, so this is the last post for a while. Not sure where we will move to, since the house we thought we would buy had some major problems. Great reason to have a home inspection done...even more important when the property is 1,600 miles away.

Today is a great day to start the journey, since it is also our 35th wedding anniversary.

For the last 15 years, I have attended some wonderful events for our veterans. Filming them was heartwarming, knowing how much veterans matter here. 

I had a great regular job too, working for a wonderful boss and team members who became family to me. My going away party was Friday, and all I wanted to do was cry. Some of us went into the conference room and they had a prayer circle for me. I never knew how much I impacted their lives, but I knew how much they impacted mine.

My boss talked about the work I do during and how important it is for me to be starting the Out Post with Point Man for female veterans in the Portsmouth area.

This picture was taken in Peru when Erica decided she would surprise me by wearing the PTSD Patrol T-shirt. She said that the message of empowerment fit with that stunning site.

There are a lot of things I will miss about Florida but there are more I miss about New England. I cannot think of a better time to begin the next part of our lives than today.

As an anniversary gift, I am asking for prayers for our journey and finding the home where we belong. It is a bit frighting not knowing where or when we will find it but I am comforted by the support and prayers already received. 

I will have more to say on this when I resume operation, hopefully by the end of October. 

Thank you for being loyal readers all these years!

Offutt Air Force Base Servicemember and Spouse Found Dead

2 dead in shooting near Offutt identified as active-duty service member, spouse

Omaha World Herald
By Kevin Cole and Jessica Wade / World-Herald staff writers
1 hr ago

Offutt Air Force Base officials have confirmed that two people died Saturday night in a shooting in a base community.

An active-duty service member from Offutt and their spouse died, a spokesman for the Air Force base said Sunday. The bodies were discovered about 8:15 p.m. in Rising View, Offutt’s privatized housing area in Bellevue.

Law enforcement officials from Offutt and Sarpy County responded to a call from the home, the spokesman said. The names of the deceased are being held pending notification of the next of kin.

The Air Force Office of Special Investigations detachment at Offutt is leading the investigation. A post on the Offutt-based 55th Wing's Facebook page by Col. Gavin P. Marks, commander of the wing, confirmed the deaths.
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Wounded Times predicted rise in suicides a decade ago...DOD still clueless

In 2009 I wrote "Comprehensive Soldier fitness will make it worse"

General Casey, now hear this, you cannot, repeat, cannot train your brain to prevent PTSD and until you understand this "Because it is scientifically proven, you can build resilience." does not equal the cause of PTSD, you will keep making it worse! Did the rise in suicides and attempted suicides offer you no clue that Battlemind didn't work? Apparently something told you it didn't or you'd still be pushing this. When you have a program in place to "train them to be resilient" beginning with telling them if they do not, it's their fault, what the hell did you and the other brass expect? Did you think they would listen to the rest of what the Battlemind program had to say to them? Are you out of your mind?

With all due respect, because I do believe you care about the men and women you command, this is just one more in a series of mistakes because it seems no one in the Pentagon or the upper rows of the food chain have a clue what causes PTSD.

While adversity does make some stronger, you cannot train them to do it. Life and character does that quite effectively on their own. Some will walk away stronger after traumatic events but one out of three humans will not. Some experts put the rate at one out of five walk away wounded but the best experts I've listened to since 1982 have put it at one out of three.

Do you think that this man could have "trained his brain" as well?

UK:WWII veteran finally diagnosed with PTSD

A D-DAY hero has been told he is suffering a stress related illness picked up in battle — 65 years AFTER he was the first Brit to storm an enemy beach.

WWII vet George McMahon, who was the first soldier on Sword Beach in Normandy, France, had revealed he is still suffering terrifying flashbacks from June 6, 1944.

And Army docs have told the 89-year-old war hero he is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) picked up during WWII.

Mr McMahon's family first sought help from docs when the ex-soldier talked vividly about the war in the lead-up to the 65th anniversary of D-Day.

Mr McMahon of Kirk Ella, Hull, was then visited by the Service Personnel and Veterans' Agency — part of the Ministry of Defence — who said he was displaying PTSD symptoms.

The Scotland-born Army vet who served with The King's Regiment Army was awarded the Military Cross for storming two machine-guns.

Back then there were plenty of excuses to use for what happened to veterans but after Vietnam veterans came home and forced the wound to be treated, we ran out of excuses. How can you continue to dismiss what is so obvious? It is the nature of man, what is in their core, their empathy for others that is at the root of PTSD. I've talked to them long enough and enough of them to have understood this over 20 years ago. I also live with one.

I'm sick and tired of reading about what does not work being repeated. In all these years, people like me have already learned from the mistakes we made trying to help our husbands and others. To us, it wasn't a numbers game or a research project. This has meant our lives and the lives of the men we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. Aside from that General Casey, I've spent countless hours attempting to undo the damage done because the troops are not being told what they need to hear in the first place.

I've held Marines in my arms crying because the military told them they were not strong enough and National Guardsmen told they were not cut out for combat. All of this because the military has been telling them it's their fault they didn't work hard enough to toughen their brains.

How many more suicides are you willing to live with? Has it not gotten thru to you yet that you are losing more men and women after combat than you do during it? This is only part of it because I doubt you have considered how many have committed suicide and tried it after they were discharged. You cannot order them to stop caring! You cannot order them to become callous or oblivious to the suffering of others. Between the members of their own unit to the innocent civilians that do end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, you cannot seriously expect them to just "get over it" and "toughen" their brains. These men and women walk away with their own pain compounded by the pain of others. This is what opens the door to PTSD and until you understand this is what the difference is, you will never get close enough to finding the best treatment for it and they will continue to pay for it.

Ever notice the vast majority of the men and women you command end up carrying out the mission they are given, fighting fiercely and showing great courage even though they are already carrying the wound inside of them? They fulfill their duty despite flashbacks and nightmares draining them because their duty comes first to them. Do you understand how much that takes for them to do that? Yet you think telling them their minds are not tough enough will solve the problem? What kind of a tough mind do you think they needed to have to fight on despite this killing pain inside of them?

I fully understand to you, I'm no one. I have been ignored by senators and congressmen, doctors and other brass for as long as I've been trying to help, so you are not the first. I've also been listened to by others trying to think outside the box, but more importantly to me, by the men and women seeking my help to understand this and their families. I tell them what you should have been telling them all along so that they know it's not their fault, they did not lack courage and they are not responsible for being wounded any more than they would have been to have been found by a bullet with their name on it.

And then I issued the prediction that should have been seen by all the experts as a warning of what was to come.

If you promote this program the way Battlemind was promoted, count on the numbers of suicides and attempted suicides to go up instead of down. It's just one more deadly mistake after another and just as dangerous as sending them into Iraq without the armor needed to protect them.

I was right back then, still right now, while the DOD remains clearly wrong...and too many servicemembers remain choosing to die instead of fighting for their own lives.

This is the "headline" they are dealing with now.

U.S. military’s suicide rate for active-duty troops up over the past five years, Pentagon says

But the Pentagon must build better understanding of the effectiveness of its suicide-prevention efforts, she said. That can be done through examining pilot programs and seeing “what is working in the civilian sector and bringing it into the military as a promising practice and to measure the effectiveness.”

Too bad they have been saying the same F***ing thing for a decade!

Sec. of the Army said he is pushing "resilience training" when in fact it has been more responsible for military suicides and enforces the stigma of PTSD. Telling them they can train their brains to be mentally tough ends up telling them they are mentally weak. They won't admit they need help to a buddy that heard the same message. No one is held accountable and I just got off the phone with another Mom after he son committed suicide. woundedtimes.blogspot.com February 5, 2013