Doer-losers Take Comfort

Are you a doer-loser?
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 8, 2018

Are you only noticed when someone needs you but invisible when you need someone to help you? Well, take some comfort in the fact that you have plenty of company, including me.

We see it all the time. Someone in need will have plenty of people showing up to help them while someone else wonders what the hell is wrong with them that no one seems to care about.

One veteran will have PTSD and end up with a brand new home for him and his family provided by the community. Then we read about a veteran who ended up homeless and no one helped him. 

Then there are the vultures using homeless veteran for their own gain while others do it humbly because they can make a difference.

We see one group of veterans getting a lot more than others, almost as if they just don't matter anymore.

Then there are the rest of the least among them, the doer-losers who only seem to matter when they have something to give.

We spend our days trying to make a difference in the world, not just because we can, but more, because we have to. It is almost as if it is in our DNA. No matter what the hell is wrong with me, if someone needs something, or is hurting, that is where my focus is.

Don't think I'm unique at all, since there are a lot more of us than the type of person who will only help if there is something in it for them, beyond the feeling you get when you do help someone else.

You know the type. They have post on Facebook all the time about how great they are and they get all the attention. Going through a bit of that myself right now. People I helped just won't help me no matter how many times I ask for something they are perfectly capable of doing.

Anyway, the thing is, I've been thinking a lot about how unfair life can be at times. But it happens more that way than in a good way. If you're getting depressed right now, hang on a bit. 

The rewarded are getting a lot more attention because they are lucky they got the attention of people who would help them. Plain and simple.

The doer-losers like us, well, there are a lot more of us than them, and that's why they are the exception to the rule.

The people we help would not be so lucky if we treated them like everyone else. Oh, trust me, a lot of people were asked to help the ones in need long before we came along and did whatever we could.

I've been mulling it over, or should I say, stewing over it, for a while now and I just had an epiphany. The way things are for us doer-losers, is what Christ was talking about. What we give is what we get back far beyond what people can dream of.

I bet you know what I'm talking about. If you walked away from someone in need, you'd regret it, probably emotionally beat yourself up for deciding to not help because you know what that feels like when no one helps you.

Take heart when you think you're invisible or not worthy of someone helping you. We are only in control over what we do, not what someone else does.

If your friends won't help you, then there is also something else that Christ talked about when He gave these instructions.

9 “Do not get any gold or silver or copper to take with you in your belts— 10 no bag for the journey or extra shirt or sandals or a staff, for the worker is worth his keep.11 Whatever town or village you enter, search there for some worthy person and stay at their house until you leave. 12 As you enter the home, give it your greeting.13 If the home is deserving, let your peace rest on it; if it is not, let your peace return to you. 14 If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. 15 Truly I tell you, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgment than for that town. Matthew 10

Imagine being one of them. They had to keep asking for help from strangers to do what they were sent to do. How many times had people turned them down that Christ had to instruct them what to do when it happened the next time?

Most of my so called "friends" won't support what I do. You'd think a true friend would, but they just ignore all of it. Strangers give me more support. They buy my books, watch videos and read what I do here, but people who know me best, can't be bothered unless I share what they do.

Shake the dust off your feet when it comes to false friends who just want to say they know you, but really have no clue how much they are hurting you.

The stress of wondering what the hell was making me so unworthy of their help, had been eating me up until it dawned on me that it doesn't matter what I should "deserve" from them. The only thing that matters is being able to lay my head down each night knowing that today I did the best I could so that someone doesn't end up feeling as lousy as I did when help was denied and no one cared.

So, take comfort fellow doer-losers out there. We are making a difference because we can, while they won't make a difference because they should.

They say the best way to discover who your friends really are is to ask them to help you move. If they show up, they are friends. If they help you pack on top of showing up, they are true friends.

One of the richest guys I know is flat broke, yet he is constantly thinking about what he can do for other people with less than he has. He knows what it is like to have someone let him know he matters and he passes it on, in whatever way he can.

If you ask for help and it is denied, then ask someone else because out there is another doer-loser who is willing-able and ready to help someone so they can lay their head down at night and know they made a difference too!

As for me, right now, I need a drink! Good night folks.

Fallen Pierce County deputy was Navy veteran

Fallen Pierce County deputy was Navy veteran, father 

The Pierce County deputy who was fatally shot near Spanaway was a father to three young boys. Author: KING 
January 8, 2018

McCartney joined the Navy in 2002 and served as an electronics technician 2nd class. He was also deployed to Afghanistan toward the end of his tour. McCartney was honorably discharged in 2008.

Pierce County Sheriff's Deputy Daniel McCartney, 34, of Yelm.

Photo: Pierce County Sheriff's Department.

The Pierce County deputy who was fatally shot near Spanaway on Monday morning was a Navy veteran and a father to three young children, according to the Pierce County Sheriff's Office. 

Daniel A. McCartney, 34, of Yelm was shot while responding to a burglary call in the Frederickson area. He was a husband and had three sons. 
read more here

Fort Collins Suicide Leaves More Questions

He was a combat medic trying to save lives and served for 8 years risking his own life. He had PTSD and did something wrong. The questions pile up on this one.
What kind of help did he get before this?
What kind of help did he get in the military?
If he asked for help, which he apparently did, since he was on VA disability, why wasn't it enough to help him heal?
I could go on, but after all these years, I doubt anyone will ever be able to give an acceptable answer.

Man convicted of Islamic Center vandalism dies by suicide
Coloradoan
Cassa Niedringhaus
Jan. 8, 2018

The man convicted of vandalizing the Islamic Center of Fort Collins was found dead Saturday at an east Fort Collins motel.

Joseph Giaquinto, 36, died by suicide Friday, according to the Larimer County coroner. The coroner's office performed an autopsy Sunday and publicly identified Giaquinto on Monday morning.

Larimer County Sheriff's Office deputies responded Saturday afternoon to the Motel 6 at 3900 E. Mulberry St. for a death investigation, according to spokesman David Moore.

The department did not provide further information about the investigation.

Giaquinto's public defender, Heather Siegel, told Field during his sentencing hearing that the six-month work release sentence would jeopardize his veteran's benefits, which he was using to support himself after diagnoses of chronic post-traumatic stress and substance abuse disorders.

Michael Giaquinto, Joseph Giaquinto's father, previously told the Coloradoan that his son was a combat medic in the Army for eight years and served tours in Baghdad, Iraq, and Korea.

During his case proceedings, Joseph Giaquinto was able to have his bond reduced so he could take part in a five- to seven-week PTSD residential rehabilitation program in Cheyenne, Wyoming.
Read more here

Indiana National Guard Soldier's Death Under Investigation

Indiana National Guard soldier dies at Fort Hood in Texas

Associated Press

January 7, 2017

INDIANAPOLIS — The Indiana National Guard says one of its soldiers has died after arriving for training at Fort Hood in Texas.

Indiana Guard officials said 43-year-old Sgt. 1st Class Mark Boner of Fort Wayne died early Saturday. The Guard didn't release information about the circumstances of his death, saying it was under investigation.

Boner was a member of the Kokomo-based 38th Sustainment Brigade. About 250 members of the unit left last week for training at Fort Hood ahead of a deployment to Kuwait.

read more here

WWII Veteran Honor Restored and Medals Back

“I was absolutely overwhelmed:” WWII veteran gets his wings back

FOX 17 News

Rebecca Russell

January 6, 2017

GRAND RAPIDS, Mich.-- A World War II veteran who was stripped of his medals nearly 75 years ago was repinned on Saturday.

Virgil Westdale was part of the most decorated battalion in military history: the 442nd Regimental Combat Team, after he was stripped of his Army Air Corps badge during the war because he was a Japanese-American. Westdale had his pilot's license taken away and was demoted to a Private in the Army. 75 years later, Westdale got his wings back, along with a celebration of his 100th birthday.

It was a moment decades in the making that many say never needed to happen.

"It was the restoration of his Army Air Corps Badge," said Lt. Col. Steve Kenyon. "That is 75 years after it was wrongfully taken away from him, so it's a pretty big deal."

read more here

Vietnam Veteran learned to love again...from dog

Dog teaches Vietnam veteran to love again

Herald Tribune
Billy Cox
January 6, 2018

BRADENTON — On the bright afternoon of Feb. 4, 1970, a land mine tore apart a South Vietnamese soldier who stood maybe 10 feet away from Pfc. Bob Calderon, as the two were returning to a rural village from a joint patrol. 

Vietnam veteran Bob Calderon with his guide dog, Max, in his East Manatee neighborhood. (Herald Tribune staff photo Dan Wagner)

The spray of shrapnel knocked the 19-year-old Marine off his feet and forced surgeons to amputate his mangled legs above the knee. For the next several months, he was totally blind.

Calderon would regain vision in his right eye, then reassemble what was left into a portrait of resilience. He would graduate from a wheelchair into prosthetic limbs. He went to school on the G.I. bill, learned a trade and entered the workforce as a mechanical draftsman. He learned to play through the pain of embedded metal fragments so numerous he can’t take an MRI scan. He became a competitive wheelchair bowler, played wheelchair hoops, and traveled as far away as New Zealand to become the USA World 9-Ball Champion in a billiards tournament.

The Michigan native also had a way with the ladies. He married once, twice, three times. He attributes much of the failure of the first two to post-traumatic stress disorder, a diagnosis he didn’t get until some 15 years ago. But he fathered two kids. For a man who can make the literal claim that “half of me is still in Vietnam,” no shelf seemed too high.

read more here

VA Lawsuit: Tacoma VA

A Tacoma veteran died waiting for heart surgery from the VA. His family has sued

The News Tribune

Alexis Krell

January 7, 2017

He was diagnosed with aortic stenosis, a hereditary narrowing of his aortic valve. The VA put him on a surgical wait list to get a new one, and then sent him home. He learned June 24 that his surgery would be July 5. On July 1, he died at home.

A Tacoma veteran who needed a new heart valve died after a Department of Veterans Affairs medical center waited too long to do his surgery, his widow’s lawsuit says.

George Walker was 75 when he died at home July 1, 2016 — days before he was scheduled for surgery at the VA Puget Sound Health Care System, and a little more than a week after doctors knew he needed the operation, the complaint says.

“They absolutely shouldn’t have sent him home,” said attorney Jessica Holman Duthie, who represents the family.

After Walker’s death, his wife found paperwork that shows he was awarded the Distinguished Flying Cross and the Air Medal in 1967 — things he didn’t talk about, she said. 

He worked for almost 30 years as the foreman of a forklift shop at a Seattle warehouse, where his blue coveralls and white beard earned him the nickname Papa Smurf.

read more here

Police and PTSD "like your brain getting shot"

There is powerful, simple logic in this story of police officers supporting each other through the "in the line of duty" wound of PTSD. When an officer is shot, other police officers show up to visit, help in anyway that is needed and the wounded officer finds nothing to be ashamed of.

When they are wounded by what the job did to them, they need the same support but are reluctant to even ask for help. They sure as hell don't expect it.

The thing that keeps getting missed in all of this is that officers know what a traumatic event can do to survivors. They risk their lives to make sure there are more survivors than victims. They just have a hard time translating what responding does to them.

*******

Police and PTSD: Local cops counseling colleagues
lohud
Jordan Fenster
January 7, 2018

“They say it’s an illness, a disorder, cumulative stress disorder, post-traumatic distress — but it’s an actual injury, no different from being a cop and getting shot and having this disability now because of an injury. It's like your brain getting shot.” Matt Frank

Matt Frank was shot by a suspect during an interrogation. Later, laying in the hospital, the then-Mount Vernon Police detective had a revelation.

Severely injured, Frank was visited at his hospital bedside by groups of police officers, many of whom he had never met, “just to see if I needed anything or if my wife needed anything while I was there, if my son needed to be picked up from school,” he said.

His then-4-year-old son asked if Frank knew the officers from work.

“I tell him, ‘No I don't even know those guys,’ and he said, ‘Well, why would they do that?’ and I said, ‘Because we're police officers and that’s what we do for one another.’”

Before that shooting in 2010, Frank and a friend, Westchester County Police Officer Joe Krauss, had been holding what he calls “10-13 parties” — 10-13 is the police code for “officer needs immediate assistance” — intended as fundraising functions.

“We would raise money for police officers that were in need of that type of support,” he said.
read more here

*******

The other thing is, they need to get help now so that when it comes time to retire, they won't be hit with PTSD awakening and taking over.

This video is 9 years old. It addresses PTSD and retirement from The Badge of Life.
Andy OHara
Published on Nov 19, 2008
http://www.badgeoflife.com/ Badge of Life: The challenges faced by police officers when leaving a stressful career and entering retirement. Visit http://www.badgeoflife.com/ for free police suicide prevention videos and educational materials. Police retirement issues. Music: Kevin MacLeod

It is even worse for them if they were in the National Guard or Reserves. Facing the risk to their lives in combat, then back home, facing more risks gives them little time to heal.

Useless PTSD Treatment Taking More Lives in UK

Shell-shock 'suicide' of Harry's pal who beat Taliban bombs: Decorated British soldier who fought with the Prince in Afghanistan is found dead after complaining about the Army's 'useless' PTSD treatment
Daily Mail UK
By Mark Nicol for The Mail on Sunday
6 January 2018

Prince Harry served alongside Warrant Officer Nathan Hunt, 39 in 2008 while on a tour of duty in Afghanistan. Prince Harry spent two-and-a-half months in the deadly Helmand Province

Warrant Officer Nathan Hunt, 39, from Lincoln was found dead last week
He had served in Afghanistan in a British Army desert reconnaissance unit
WO Hunt told a friend in the Royal Engineers he was struggling to cope
His role was to identify roadside bombs as they crossed Helmand Province

A decorated British soldier who fought alongside Prince Harry in Afghanistan is believed to have killed himself after complaining to colleagues about the treatment he was receiving for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Married Warrant Officer Nathan Hunt, 39, was found dead last week after confiding to Royal Engineers colleagues that he was struggling to cope with the effects of battlefield trauma. He also described the care provided to him by the Army as ‘useless’.

The father-of-one protected Prince Harry when they belonged to a British Army desert reconnaissance unit. Warrant Officer Hunt’s highly dangerous role was to identify roadside bombs encountered by the elite force as they crossed Helmand Province on secret missions to ambush the Taliban.

But last night WO Hunt’s former colleagues accused the Ministry of Defence of letting him down. One said: ‘Nathan was a cracking bloke who saved a lot of lives in Afghanistan. He fought the demons in his head for years but it seems they won in the end. He said recently at a get-together for veterans that the care he was receiving for his condition was useless and he was thinking of getting out of the Army. read more here

Reason why they don't ask for help...getting kicked out!

We tell them they need to ask for help but when they do, too many end up regretting it. If you want to know one more reason why they come home suffering more, here is one of the biggest reasons.

Suffering from a ‘Personality Disorder’: How My Promising Military Career Was Cut Short by a Dubious Diagnosis

Huff Post
Joshua Korsbr
January 6, 2016
In March, Senior Airman Nicole Dawson called me and pleaded for help.

Dawson had served three years with the Air Force and won multiple commendations for her service as a medic at Scott Air Force Base in Illinois. Her success was cut short when she sought out medical care herself, requesting some counseling following a family tragedy. Soon she was diagnosed with “personality disorder,” declared unfit to serve, and discharged from the military.

Since 2006, I have been reporting on these “personality disorder” discharges, which the military is using to terminate the careers of service members seriously wounded in Iraq and Afghanistan, or those who report being raped during their service, or those like Dawson who simply seek out care from the base’s medical facility.

Because personality disorder is a pre-existing condition, the military can deny these service members a lifetime’s worth of disability and medical benefits. Since 2001, the Armed Forces has discharged over 31,000 service members with personality disorder, at a savings to the military of over $17.2 billion in disability and medical benefits.

Dawson had read my articles and watched my TED talk about the scandal. She asked me, “Would you tell my story?” Instead, I connected her with Disposable Warriors, a nonprofit organization that assists soldiers discharged with personality disorder. And I offered her this: the opportunity to tell her own story, here, in HuffPost.

Sadly, to my command, CMRN’s medical evaluation had no value at all. On March 24 the Air Force discharged me under code JFX: Discharge due to Personality Disorder.read more here

Read her story and then understand that she did everything experts, and oh, by the way, military brass keeps saying then need to do. Next suicide report when they act dumfounded as to why there are so many, remember this story.

Gulf War Navy Veteran fighting for life...from flu

Father of 4 in ICU After Catching the Flu: 'The Thought of Losing Him Is Unbearable,' Wife Says
PEOPLE
Jason Duaine Hahn
January 5, 2018

“Shawn is a great man, he’s a stubborn, big-hearted softie that has a hard exterior,” Jennifer says of Burrough, a U.S. Navy veteran who fought in the Gulf War who she has been with for 17 years. “But he’s all mush on the inside.”

A father of four from Southern California is in a fight for his life after he contracted influenza during an intense flu season that has put stress on many of the nation’s hospitals as their emergency rooms continue to fill up with patients experiencing symptoms.

Shawn Burrough, 48, is now heavily sedated and breathing with the help of a ventilator at Sharp Grossmont Hospital in La Mesa, California, after first showing signs of influenza over the Christmas holiday.

“His symptoms were a cough, body aches, runny nose, congestion, low-grade fever—typical symptoms,” his wife, Jennifer Burroughs, 36, of Lakeside, California, tells PEOPLE. “Things got worse about day five when he said his chest was tightening and he said it was hard for him to get his breath.”

On Dec. 30, Burrough went to urgent care, where doctors prescribed ibuprofen and an inhaler and advised him to rest. Yet, because he is the sole provider for his four children, Burrough—an aerospace quality assurance inspector—felt compelled to continue working as his health worsened. On New Year’s Day, Jennifer found her husband on the couch in their living room rocking back and forth struggling to breathe.

Jennifer took her husband to the emergency room, where doctors discovered Burrough had contracted influenza type-B and was experiencing renal failure. Additionally, his white blood cell count was high and he had a severe case of pneumonia.

More than 36,000 people die and more than 200,000 are hospitalized each year in the United States because of the flu, and since the virus can sometimes lead to pneumonia, it becomes increasingly deadly. According to the CDC, the flu and pneumonia combination was the eighth leading cause of death in 2016.
read more here

Navy Dentist Murder-Suicide Investigation

Navy dentist, thought to have been killed by ex, known for compassion and charity work
Chicago Tribune 
Ted Gregory, Karen Berkowitz and Vikki Ortiz Healy 
January 5, 2018

Linette Lowe remembers that first impressions of Claire VanLandingham could be misleading.

Claire VanLandingham, 27, died of multiple gunshot wounds in Lake Forest on Jan. 3, 2018. (University of Louisville)

“She may have come off as a little bit shy or quiet,” said Lowe, a staff member at the church VanLandingham attended while earning her degree in dentistry at University of Louisville from 2013 through 2017. “But her compassion for people overwhelmed that in pretty short order. She was able to reach out.”

Lowe and others made heartbreaking recollections of the example VanLandingham set Friday, two days after authorities said she died in Lake Forest from multiple gunshots wounds. Police confirmed Friday that they are investigating her death as a suspected murder-suicide at the hands of a former boyfriend.

“That’s the best working theory we have right now. But we are still interviewing people and trying to put all the facts together,” Lake Forest Deputy Chief Robert Copeland said.

“So we cannot say conclusively that is what happened,” the deputy chief added, but said authorities “have no reason to believe there is another gunman somewhere.”

Police say VanLandingham, 27, was found with gunshot wounds outside a Dunkin’ Donuts on Western Avenue in Lake Forest early Wednesday and was pronounced dead at Lake Forest Hospital. A man later identified as Ryan Zike, of Louisville, Ky., was found dead at the scene with a gunshot wound to the head, officials said.
read more here

Iraq Veteran did not settle for joining VFW, he took command

Iraq War veteran becomes new Valley Stream VFW commander

LI Herald
By Melissa Koenig
January 5, 2018

Since he returned from his second tour in Iraq, Peter Yarmel has helped renovate the basement, add new sheetrock and fix the plumbing of Veterans of Foreign Wars Post No. 1790’s building, at 65 East Merrick Road in Valley Stream. 

Now, he serves as the commander of the post he helped restore.

Yarmel, a 39-year-old Valley Stream native who currently lives in Lynbrook, also served on the post’s bartending and cleanup committees, according to Al Goldberg, a Vietnam veteran. “He’s a hard worker, cares deeply for the post and put in a lot of time,” Goldberg said.

Yarmel did not campaign for the commander position. As the senior vice commander, he took over in November after Commander Joe Marando died of lymphoma at age 84. “I got really close to Joe… so he kind of handed the reins over to me when he was starting to get sick,” Yarmel said. He became the senior vice commander over a year ago.

Yarmel served in the Marine Corps for two tours in Iraq, both of which lasted seven months.

His first tour was from January 2003 to July 2003. During that time, he served as a radio field operator for a shock trauma platoon. Yarmel radioed for Medivacs to get injured soldiers off the battlefield and transport them to a hospital.

“We were right there in the battlefield,” Yarmel said. “We went and got ’em, surgeons did what they had to real quick and patched them up, and sent them back to the real hospitals.”

read more here

Vietnam Veterans Going to Super Bowl For Winning

Vietnam forged their friendship — their story is taking them to the Super Bowl
Chicago Tribune
Mary Schmich
January 6, 2018

Randy Kusiak can’t recall winning anything, ever, except a few accordion lessons when he was a kid, so when he received Jim Zwit’s email on Christmas morning, he wasn’t convinced that his luck was about to change.

Zwit was writing to say that he’d entered a Chicago Bears contest to win two tickets to the Super Bowl. As a season ticket holder, all he’d had to do was submit a 2,000-character essay on who he’d bring and why.

The contest letter went on to describe the months that followed, the men’s shared jungle patrols, their disputes over baseball and shared love of the Bears, and how on an April evening Zwit was severely injured in a firefight. Kusiak was one of the comrades who carried him to safety. 

Eight men in their Army unit died that night. Odds were that Zwit would too. He didn’t.He spent 18 months in hospitals, in Vietnam, Japan and back in Illinois, and wherever he was, Kusiak sent him letters and pictures. When both men made it home, Kusiak came to visit. 

“Randy NEVER forgot about me,” Zwit wrote, concluding his contest entry by noting that Kusiak and his wife had retired in Florida a few years ago. read more here

Another Veteran's Suicide Leaves More Questions

This is the headline.

"Veteran suicide prompts awareness, resources available for those who need help"

And this is the story of the veteran who committed suicide three days into this New Year!

LANSING, Mich. (WLNS)  

It was just two days ago that a 31-year-old man from Potterville took his own life and the situation has left many wondering what could have been done to prevent this tragedy from happening. 

The 31-year-old man from Potterville was a military veteran who deputies reported suffered from PTSD, depression and a serious brain injury. 

It was just before 1 p.m. on Wednesday that Clinton County Sheriff’s Officials were dispatched to East Olive Elementary School in St. Johns for a report of a psychiatric person.When they arrived on scene, sheriff’s officials determined the man was suicidal and armed with a handgun. 

Authorities contacted a Clinton County negotiator who spoke with the man for several hours. Unfortunately, the man ended up taking his own life and died of a single gun-shot wound.

Click the link to read more on this from WLNS News. 

In the interview, Eric Calley talked about all the resources that are available for veterans. The question that never seems to get answered is, "Why don't they turn to these 'resources' when they are in crisis instead of giving up?"

Last year law enforcement had to face off with veterans almost every week. Sometimes, it ended with the veteran getting some help. Other times it ended with the veteran being arrested and facing charges. Too often, it ended with the veteran's life being taken and members of law enforcement having to deal with the loss that did not needed to happen.

These men and women go from risking their lives to not being willing to live any longer. Something totally wrong with all of this, but then there has been something totally wrong going on with everything being "available" but failing too many. 

Afghanistan Veteran "...can focus on healing" after war

Army veteran, family get new home mortgage free

WFXL FOX 31
Alexandria Ikomani
January 5, 2018

“I can focus more on my healing, take care of me and take care of my family now that we have a home.” Sgt. Chad Turner

ALBANY. Ga. — An army veteran and his family have somewhere to call home.

Operation FINALLY Home is an organization that gives free homes to veterans in need.

Sergeant Chad Turner and his family can't put their feelings into many words.

Turner was diagnosed with traumatic brain injuries, short-term memory loss, post-traumatic stress disorder and more after an explosion while serving in Afghanistan.

read more here 

Heroes Warehouse Fills Home Base

ABC7 Salutes Heroes Warehouse, organization that furnishes homes for veterans
ABC 7 News
Josh Haskell
January 5, 2018

"They place them in permanent housing, which is wonderful and get them off the streets, but there's no furniture. Just imagine yourself going on vacation and you have an empty hotel room." Mary Kelly

FONTANA, Calif. (KABC) --

Iraq War veteran Ted Telemaque and his son slept on the floor of their Riverside apartment when they first moved in because they didn't have enough money to furnish their new home.

"I moved in there and I was scratching my head, ok, as a single father, what do I do? I reached out, tried to exert all options and then came across the Heroes Warehouse. Now I have my whole apartment furnished, from bed, to couch, to even kitchen," Telemaque said.

Since 2012, the Heroes Warehouse in Fontana - founded by Mary Kelly - has helped 3,000 families adjust to life after the service. Their 7,000 square foot warehouse isn't just full of donated household furniture, but washers and dryers, food and clothes.
read more here

Stealing healing or raising awareness?

In the fight for their lives!
Combat PTSD Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
January 5, 2018
Stealing healing or raising awareness? That is the question that needs to be answered fast. If people do not know about a situation, they think it is only happening to them. If no one talks about what is happening to them, no one tries to do anything about it.

That's the point. We talked about suicides when no one knew it was happening, then tried to move onto healing when no one was talking about that either. Now we have to talk about both, but it seems far too few are listening...again.

"Now I think I know what you tried to say to me,How you suffered for your sanity,How you tried to set them free.They would not listen, they're not listening still.Perhaps they never will..." Starry, Starry Night

January 6, 2006 was one of the first post I did on a veteran committing suicide.

An Iraq war veteran's suicide earlier this month was a cry for helping others with post-traumatic stress disorder, his close friend says.
Douglas A. Barber, a 35-year-old truck driver, shot and killed himself on Jan. 16 with a shotgun as Lee County sheriff's deputies and two friends on the phone tried to talk him out of it.

That was when I was "screaming in an empty room" trying to "raise awareness" of something I had been tracking for decades on other sites I had online. After all, I'd been doing it since 1993 when I had been given my first PC. Truth is, by then I had already been active in writing about it to local newspapers since 1984. It took me two years before that to understand enough to open my mouth publicly.

I tried to do something that would hit more people back in 2007 with the video "Death Because They Served" but I had to a lot of research first. Over 400 reports later, it was necessary to get their stories out.

Back then, yes, "raising awareness" was vital.. It was the only way anyone would try to do something on a massive scale. Little did I know that the "effort" would be reduced down to an "easy number to remember" and people would get away with quoting from a headline.

Non-combat deaths, non-caring media was the first attempt to put the stories together April 16, 2007. That was followed up with Cause of death, because they served. It must have worked because in August of 2007, Greg Mitchell asked "Why isn't the press on suicide watch." (I checked to see if the original link worked, it doesn't by mine still does.)

The thing is, we knew there was a problem back then. We also knew there were things to do to make sure we changed the outcome. 

Raising awareness meant that veterans would finally find out they were not alone, and not just about talking about how many gave up. It was about facts, sure, but it was also about the most important fact of all. They could heal. Life could get better.

So, most of in all this since "before the flood" move on from talking about the "problem" after the press and politicians decided they needed to focus on this great American secret we lived with. The problem was when we moved on, they moved in and took over.

They took over the attention of the press and got boatloads of cash to talk about something they had absolutely no understanding of or even a basic enough idea to know what had been done, how long it had all gone on, or even discover the way to change the outcome.

We had to step back into the mix and not just fight for veterans to take back control of their lives, but fight to get the facts straight.

Before I got involved in giving suicides attention, it was more about raising awareness of healing.  That's why the books and the videos, plus all these articles.

If the truth is supposed to "set you free" then we need to make sure we set veterans free from the notion that they cannot heal. That their last worst day is the one they just had because with the right help, there is a whole new world of living with PTSD but not letting PTSD destroy them anymore.



If you want to know what they need to know, here is something they need to reminded of. They were willing to die because they loved others more. Help them live for love now too!