Walk in the dark Vietnam veteran healing after war

Walk in the dark

Written by a Vietnam Veteran

I am so proud to have served my country. I would have done it again if called. I had just turned 19 when the call came for service. Went to training for 11bravo in California. Sent to Nam and landed 14 July 1969. I felt the heat and the smell, oh my God the smell.

Now I was taken to the unit were I was assigned. 1 week orientation then out to (FSB) Normandy III. Next day my intro to C-Rations as the "newbe" lima beans. Next came my first ride on a chopper. 20 minutes from take off to LZ it seem like a lot less. The bird never touched down we just jumped and headed for the bush, all 7 of us. I remember asking myself “where the hell is everyone else why are we only 7?”

We walked down a small trail for a few minutes, whatever it took us to go 150 to 200 yards. Then there was gun fire all over the place, I hit the ground watched in to the bush for a few seconds.

An enemy soldier landed next to me, with his face maybe a foot from me. Our eyes locked as life left his body.

To this day can still see him, as if he were talking to me, or trying to reach out to me. The fire fight ended just like it started. We checked to see if anyone else was hit...nope all clear. We just walked away and left him there. I just couldn’t make myself look back at him.

I had to learn to hold my feeling and emotions in side of me. And I still do.

Late at night he walks into my bedroom and I get up and walk into the living room never turning on a light. Hoping at times to speak to him and knowing I can’t, so most time I just drink some water and lie down again. But sleep rarely comes. It is hard for me to walk in the dark now at my age.

After the 10 day operation we went to Hq area and it hit: How the hell did that gook get so dam close to me? Who was watching my back? The more I thought about the angrier I became. I kept in and determined not to let it happen again. I trusted no one. This has taken its toll on me. I spend a lot of time alone and have for the last 50 or so yrs. I will help you but it is hard for me to trust. I have very few friends (2) and my family stays away because I’m to straight forward. And now you know.

I have found peace in helping other vets with their struggles. I know my God has given me this struggle so I could help my brother find peace.

The Lord is my peace and when I am down, He is there to hold me. I was called to do what I do. I never wanted anything to do with this helping other thing. But now I love it so, to the point that I hurt when it seems that I have failed to reach my brother that is hurting.

(correction: edit "enemy soldier" was made to correct edit to veteran's letter)

Stop taking what I do...then ignore mentioning where it came from!

If you think for a second I am competing with you or anyone else...you are not thinking at all! I have been researching PTSD since 1982...writing about it since 1984 and have about 40,000 posts that you can still find going back to 2006. (And yes, I am pissed off!)

This video was originally done in 2006

Here are some screen shots from it

Be part of the solution or get out of the way

Two words that should never be together...homeless and veteran

When War Comes Home

VA Backlog 800,000 cases

After Trauma Touches A Life

To lay down his life for the sake of his friends

Stigma of PTSD roadblock to healing

Upset about 99 military suicides

Wounded Minds Tortured Souls

There are a lot more...but you get the idea now. 

I do not compete with anyone who came after me

and remember all those who came before me to

teach me the truth!

After 3 tours together, Marine veteran had to lay paw-brother to rest

Marine Dog With Cancer Gets Emotional Farewell

IHeartDogs
by Molly Weinfurter

“My whole adult life I’ve had Cena. When I was 19 overseas learning how to be responsible, I had Cena. And now I’m 27 and I’m having to say goodbye to one of the biggest pieces of my life.” Jeff DeYoung

Losing a dog is one of the hardest things a person can go through. After all, dogs are there for us through every step of the way, so they deserve to be honored. This is exactly how Marine Corporal Jeff DeYoung felt when he learned that his beloved dog, Cena, was diagnosed with terminal bone cancer. Not only had Cena been his loyal companion, but they had also served 3 tours overseas together.

Cena and DeYoung’s Bond
Cena and DeYoung had been together for a long time. In 2009, DeYoung was first paired with Cena, who was a talented bomb-sniffing dog. The pair grew very close during that time, and they protected each other through the most difficult parts of their service.

In 2014, Cena retired from his duties, and DeYoung decided to adopt him. From there, Cena became his service dog to help him with his post-traumatic stress disorder.

Cena always knew how to cheer DeYoung up, so he was the perfect companion. The two were inseparable from that moment on. Cena even helped DeYoung through some of the hardest moments in his life, including the 3 weeks where 7 of his friends passed away.

“We may not have been the same species, but we were most definitely brothers.” Jeff DeYoung

read it here

Kentucky legislators push bill for Female Veterans' Day

This Kentucky legislator wants to create a Women Veterans Day

Courier Journal
Sarah Ladd
Feb. 5, 2020

The bill's language boasts, "women have proudly served their country throughout all periods of the history of the United States, whether disguised as male soldiers during the American 4 Revolution and Civil War, as nurses in World War I, or as combat helicopter pilots in 5 Afghanistan."

A Kentucky legislator wants to set aside a date for Women Veterans Day, and she has a lot of support from her colleagues.

Patti Minter, D-Bowling Green, introduced a bill Tuesday into the Kentucky Legislature that asks for June 12 to be set aside to honor women in Kentucky who've served in the military.

And more than 70 Legislators have signed on as co-sponsors.

Minter told The Courier Journal she's been "overwhelmed and excited" about the support from her colleagues, which has transcended political party and gender.

Minter, who is not a veteran, said setting aside a day for female veterans would be both "celebratory and educational."

When she was first sworn into the General Assembly, Minter was assigned to a committee that worked with veterans. Through that work, she said she was "educated" by women veterans about the "unique challenges" faced by service women.
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Marine Corps suicides down for 2019...up for Navy

Marine Corps Suicide Rate Declines, Navy Rate Rises in 2019

USNI
By: Ben Werner
February 6, 2020

In 2019, 47 active-duty Marines committed suicide – 11 fewer than in 2018 – while the Navy reported 72 suicides, four more than a year earlier, according to preliminary totals from both services.

The Marine Corps suicide rate for the calendar year 2019 was 25.3 per 100,000 active-duty Marines, a decrease from the rate of 30.7 per 100,000 active-duty Marines in 2018.

“The Marine Corps is committed to reducing the number of suicides and continues to encourage unit leaders to have open dialogue with their Marines about stress, resiliency, mental wellness and suicide,” Maj. Craig Thomas, a spokesperson for Marine Corps Manpower and Reserve Affairs, wrote in an email to USNI News.

“When leaders and mental health programs and resources acknowledge that ‘everybody struggles with life, trauma, shame, guilt and uncertainty,’ it helps make asking for assistance more acceptable,” Thomas said.

In 2019, the Navy’s active-duty suicide rate increased to 22.3 per 100,000 active-duty personnel, from the 2018 suicide rate of 20.1 per 100,000 active duty service members.
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Air Force Suicides increased

Long Island Veterans Fight For Joseph P. Dwyer Veterans Peer Support Project

Long Island veterans groups demand Gov. Cuomo provide state aid for peer-to-peer programA fight for funding is underway in Albany for a program that helps veterans deal with the unseen wounds of war.

News 12
February 6, 2020

A cry of protest has arisen from Long Island veterans who are furious Gov. Andrew Cuomo has not included funding to a peer-to-peer program that helps veterans facing the challenges of post-traumatic stress disorder.

Assemblyman Mike LiPetri, along with several Long Island groups, are demanding the $4 million in state aid needed for the Joseph P. Dwyer Veterans Peer Support Project be included in Cuomo's budget.

Morris Miller, a Vietnam veteran who volunteers as a peer counselor, understands the importance of the peer-to-peer program.

"PTSD is not just for Vietnam veterans, it's Iraq, Afghanistan, Desert Storm, Desert Shield. There are our younger veterans, and we have to, as older veterans, stand up for these guys," says Morris.
read it here