What Trump's feeble fable cost supporters, and the rest of us

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 14, 2022

While the hearing is explained on NPR it left a lot of questions for me.

An audio recording of former President Donald Trump talking to Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger is played during the ninth House Select Committee hearing to Investigate the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol. Mandel Ngan/AFP via Getty Images

Trump already decided he was going to declare he won before the election,

Trump had long planned to declare victory, no matter the results. Rep. Zoe Lofgren, D-Calif., said Brad Parscale, Trump's former campaign manager, told the panel he understood that Trump planned as early as July to insist he won the November election, no matter the results.

Doesn't that mean everyone else in his circle knew he was lying and then turned around to dupe their supporters?

In a different clip, Stone said: "F*** the voting, let's get right to the violence. We'll have to start smashing pumpkins if you know what I mean."

Trump and his circle used the people long before the election was even held. Doesn't that mean they didn't care about setting up all those people to commit crimes and dupe them out of their money on top of it?

Despite publicly declaring he won, Trump privately admitted he lost the election. Testimony from former White House officials demonstrate that while the president was publicly forging a campaign to overturn the election, he privately was acknowledging his loss.
In an audio clip, Gen. Mark Milley, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, said that while in the Oval Office, Trump said something to the effect of "We lost, we need to let that issue go to the next guy."

Trump knew everything he was saying was a lie, yet to this day, he still repeats his lies. Doesn't that also mean he is using his supporters and taking advantage of all of them, including the ones that already ended up being convicted?

Secret Service had tips about expected violence on Jan. 6. Rep. Adam Schiff, D-Calif., said on Dec. 26, a Secret Service field office shared a tip that had been received by the FBI. The source said the Proud Boys, a right-wing extremist group, planned to march into D.C. with weapons.

Trump wanted to use the Insurrection Act to call in the National Guards and law enforcement to put down the mob he sent to the Capitol. Doesn't that mean he made them a target of the National Guard and law enforcement officers?

Election deniers are running for office all over the country. They are 60% of the people trying to be put in charge of your vote. Did they know what Trump was up to and didn't care about earning your vote because they are prepared to just claim they won and repeat what Trump did to the people of this country? If they didn't know he was lying, how incompetent are they? How many courts had to deny every claim Trump and his circle made with absolutely no evidence provided to support such a feeble fable?

With all the members of the House and Senate wanting to put in charge to change the rules to suit what Trump tried to do, doesn't that mean they are trying to dupe you too? Just claim they won and take the office no matter who has to pay for it?

They have already shown they don't care what people want or need because they think they're set up to take the office no matter what or who has to pay for it. Will the voters finally open their eyes and defend this country to make sure these people do not get the power to remove the only voice we have?

Don Bolduc, less like the Centurion and more like a Pharisee!

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 10, 2022

In 2018 I wrote about suffering in silence

When it comes to PTSD, the tough talk about it. It takes a lot of courage to talk about something very few understand but it helps when you are talking to others that do. There comes a time in your life when you say that you donít care what other people say. You know where you were and you know what you lived thru. You finally understand that not many others can claim the same.

Four days later, I was happy to put up a post about a General that showed great courage in talking about his own battle with PTSD.

How many Medal of Honor recipients have to talk about their own battles with PTSD, before they understand there is nothing to be ashamed of? How many Generals have to talk about their battles, after a lifetime of battles in uniform, before you understand what courage looks like?

Ever wonder why they come forward and talk openly about something they never have to say a word about? Do they need publicity? Do they want to play "victim" and get people to feel sorry for them? Hell no! THEY DO IT TO SAVE THE LIVES OF THOSE THEY WOULD HAVE DIED FOR!

The title was Brig. Gen. Donald Bolduc not suffering PTSD in silence

So how did that man with the courage to speak out on what too many were still believing they had something to be ashamed of become less like the Centurion to more like lying like a Pharisee?

Don Bolduc, a retired Army general, celebrates winning the New Hampshire primary in a tight race against state senator, Chuck Morse, on Tuesday evening, September 13, 2022, in Hampton, New Hampshire. He faces incumbent Sen. Maggie Hassan (D) in the general election. JOHN TULLY

From the start, Democrats and his fellow Republicans painted Bolduc as an extremist who took up radical positions in addition to his belief in a stolen election, including advocating for the investigation and possible elimination of the FBI after the raid on Mar-a-Lago and accusing Bill Gates of wanting to use Covid vaccines to implant microchips in Americans.

That was from a new Rolling Stone article written by a reporter that has covered Bolduc for far too long to not be shocked by the change he sees. Kevin Maurer tried to report the truth against what Bolduc appears to be.

In a recent TV commercial and in his official bio, Bolduc’s campaign alludes to, or flat-out claims, him leading “allied soldiers on horseback to kill terrorists.” The story of the Special Forces team that fought with the Northern Alliance on horseback in northern Afghanistan led to a statue in New York and the 2018 movie 12 Strong. But Bolduc didn’t serve with that team. The Washington Post gave a 2020 version of the ad two Pinocchios.

New Hampshire has been my home for the last three years but for most of my life, I lived in New England. This area of the country has never been about putting politics and what was easy above all else. We are made of strong stock and sturdy foundations. Sure, we get political but it was never like I've seen over the last few years. I wish this were a normal political year when I would consider voting for a Republican. As an Independent voter, I vote for one person over the political side they choose. Apparently, Bolduc has chosen power over our country and has caused great sadness in my soul.

I have watched true heroes succumb to the father of lies for pure power and wonder if it was worth surrendering their souls to do it.

"You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies."
John 8:44

How could anyone so faithful to this country betray the foundation it was built on? The rule of law requires evidence, not simple claims of what some believe because they do not like the results. Yet Bolduc supported the wild claims made and set aside loyalty to the country and true moral values? 

The Constitution and Bill of Rights built the foundation of this country to provide the people the ability to use their voices to determine the direction this country takes. Yet this party and people like Bolduc want to take that voice away from us, and subvert our votes because they don't like how we vote if it wasn't for them? Did we ever hear someone on that side claim their own election was stolen when they were on the same ballot but won their election? No, it is only when they lose, they make wild claims with absolutely no proof it was.

We are all supposed to have equal rights to believe and worship as we choose, yet that party has decided they should create laws that only support a fraction of the country on "moral grounds" and then turn around selecting what is suddenly acceptable to them? Seriously? They don't even have the morals to defend the truth anymore!

He served with honor but turned around and lied about something he did not do?

What else is he willing to lie about? What else is he willing to sacrifice for the power he hungers for in place of doing the right thing with the power he has now? Speaking out on his own battle with PTSD was the right thing to do. Refusing to speak out on the truth when Liz Cheney and so many others dared to do, is the selfish thing and wrong thing to do.

Of all the people I once thanked God for, showing such courage to speak the truth about the suffering of so many others when PTSD is ripping them apart, Bolduc was one of the last people I thought would sacrifice it all for the sake of the power of pride.

I hugged myself today!

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
October 4, 2022

Last month I wrote about how I realized that I couldn't hug myself. I still had compassion for other people but didn't have any for myself. It showed in the book I was editing. The 13th Minister Of The Mystery is part three in The Lost Son Series. After going back into therapy to heal from grief, it started to work enough that I found the courage to submit it to publishers and agents. Huge for me! The last time I tried that was back in 2000 when I wrote For The Love Of Jack. An author, who was brilliant, talented, and a genius when it came to PTSD, even tried to help me find a publisher. No luck. I ended up self-publishing it and have been self-publishing ever since.

If you don't know what authors go through trying to find a publisher or agent, it is an arduous process, to say the least. Each one wants things done differently. Sometimes I think was easier to write three books in a year. This last one is over 115,000 words. Then you wait for rejections. It's like waiting for a broken bone to heal. As bad as that is, more publishers and agents won't even bother to respond. So far, it's been more silence than rejections, but at least the rejections end the torment.

There was one of them that I had great hopes in and, to tell the truth, I was hopeful to check my email every day until the rejection came. At least they wished me luck as I cried. Because of the therapy, I was able to finally, mercifully, hug myself when I read it. It may not seem like such a big deal to reach the point when I had compassion for myself, but it was something I couldn't do all year. I also had a huge glass of wine with dinner.

Maybe that's the best message I can give right now. I am still healing but not having the ability to have compassion for myself was in the way of my healing. When you have PTSD, that can happen to you too. After you survive, you go through a rollercoaster of emotional highs and lows. I remember one second I felt lucky to have survived and in the next moment I felt like a large because it happened to me. The "why me" question worked both ways. Why did I survive and why did it happen to me at all followed did God save me or did He do it to me in the first place? When I stopped asking why it happened, the most important question of all had to be, "what do I do about it now?"

I answered that one by learning all I could until I understood what came with the trauma and what came afterward with surviving it. To know how much power I had to define the rest of my life as a survivor, I think was the most empowering thing of all. Even more, comfort came when I learned that trauma and PTSD do not just happen to people that fight wars, but end up fighting the war within themselves. One part of your head tells you that you deserve to suffer, and that comes when you think God did it to you. The other side is telling you that you survived for a reason and that comes when you think God saved you. For me, in the ten times I survived, it was a battle between the two forces topped off with expecting people to understand that surviving changes all of us, no matter to what degree we go through.

That's what I put into these books. Admittedly, I did change the ending of the 13th Minister Of The Mystery as I began to heal. The main character is male but is a lot like me fighting the same battles I did. Ok, all of the characters are either chunks of me or me I wish I could be. Once I was able to hug myself, Chris started to be able to do the same thing and accept the changes he had been through for a greater purpose than he ever dreamt of.

All of us can too! Oh, btw, that isn't the book cover since I'm still waiting to hear from some more agents and publishers, but I wanted to play around in Photoshop.

I understood what it was like to discover I wasn't alone

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

September 26, 2022

I had a therapy appointment this morning and was talking about the research on random acts of kindness. This part of the article is the one that I am dealing with the most.

“People tend to think that what they are giving is kind of little, maybe it’s relatively inconsequential,” Dr. Kumar said. “But recipients are less likely to think along those lines. They consider the gesture to be significantly more meaningful because they are also thinking about the fact that someone did something nice for them.”

It was very easy for me to help other people. It was devastating to discover that other people had a hard time wanting to help me. I am grieving the loss of one of my best friends, my rock and biggest supporter. Gunny passed away in January. The months following got harder and harder and I knew I needed help again. I lost someone that did a lot of nice things for me. 

During my appointment, I talked about how I feel grateful for people in my life but the thing is, they can't understand what I do helping people with PTSD. They can't understand the books I'm writing and most of them don't even want to read them because they aren't interested in anything tied to mental health, even works of fiction. Gunny not only understood all of it, but he also read everything I wrote. He even corrected my typos and let me bounce things off of him when I wasn't sure if I was on the right track or off the rails.

Anyway, back to the article so you can understand the rest of what I want to say better.

The Unexpected Power of Random Acts of Kindness
New York Times
By Catherine Pears
on Sept. 2, 2022

In late August, Erin Alexander, 57, sat in the parking lot of a Target store in Fairfield, Calif., and wept. Her sister-in-law had recently died, and Ms. Alexander was having a hard day.

A barista working at the Starbucks inside the Target was too. The espresso machine had broken down and she was clearly stressed. Ms. Alexander — who’d stopped crying and gone inside for some caffeine — smiled, ordered an iced green tea, and told her to hang in there. After picking up her order, she noticed a message on the cup: “Erin,” the barista had scrawled next to a heart, “your soul is golden.”

“I’m not sure I even necessarily know what ‘your soul is golden’ means,” said Ms. Alexander, who laughed and cried while recalling the incident.

But the warmth of that small and unexpected gesture, from a stranger who had no inkling of what she was going through, moved her deeply. read more here

For 40 years, I helped people because I knew what darkness was like. I knew everything surviving could do to them and why it did it. Above all else, I understood what it was like to discover I wasn't alone, to read what experts discovered long before I even heard the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In other words, I knew what it was like to come out of the darkness of it and into the light of healing from it.

When I helped other people, it helped me heal myself. I felt a sense of being worth something in this world.  Writing the third part of The Lost Son Series, I felt more connected to the darkness of the story than to the light in it. Words of suffering stung and words of comfort began to feel like empty words people use to make themselves feel more comfortable discussing uncomfortable topics. Part one, The Lost Son Alive Again, and part two, Stranger Angels Among Us were leading up to the part I'm working on now and were supposed to be the most empowering of all of them. It got so bad for me that I knew I needed to go back into therapy again to help me heal from losing Gunny.

So far, I am starting to feel more connected to the circumstances of hope and empowerment than to the suffering and heartache. I told my therapist that all I can do for people is help them understand what PTSD is, help them spiritually so they don't think God did it to them, and then, send them to experts in mental health trained to help them. I'd love to be able to wave a magic wand and take away all their heartaches but I can't. All I can do is help clear the way for they can begin to find what they need.

I also told my therapist a couple of weeks ago that I dreaded getting an email or phone call from someone looking for help from me because I was so drained, I had nothing left to give. Over the weekend, someone needed my help and I was able to give it. So, not only is my therapist helping me, she helped me get to a place where I could help someone else again. I'm not healed enough yet to be posting all the time online again, but I'm getting there!

Next time you have a chance to do something for someone else, no matter how small you think it is, remember my story and know that while you may think what you do isn't such a big deal, it may be the thing someone else needs at the time you do it.

Still healing

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 19, 2022

It is still hard to think about being able to offer hope to anyone trying to heal, but I think that is what is needed right now. The political divide is like a thorn in my soul because of all the people I once called friends. I love a good debate, but I love the truth more. I have always been more like a sheep in Matthew 25, than a goat.

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.
35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?
38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?
39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
41 “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.
42 For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,
43 I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’
44 “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’
45 “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’
46 “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

Some of the people I thought were my friends turned out to be more like goats. My real friends are still there for me. I feel blessed to have them in my life. I am trying hard to focus on them and less on the goats. I still miss having Gunny in my life. That is the loss I am trying to heal from. He was the only one that understood what I do, and why I do it, as well as why I've done it for four decades. He was able to put politics aside, and so was I, because we valued everything else about one another. 

My therapist suggested I focus on the fact that how people treated me, says more about them than it does me. I hate having something I tell everyone else said to me, but I have to face it, sometimes that is exactly what we need to hear, even though we may not want to hear it. At the end of the day, we realize that we only have power over what we do and not what as done to us.

I am working on that and asking myself a lot of questions. I am looking back and asking what did someone do to me when I needed help before, as much as asking what they did for me before. It's a safe bet I won't be turning to those that hurt me before. Turning to them won't help fill the empty part Gunny left behind. Expecting my husband to do it won't get me anything but aggravated since he tries to listen but ends up trying to fix me instead. He does hug me when I cry about Gunny because he knew how close of a friend he was, plus he liked him too. (Ok, well he thought it was strange for a woman to have a close male friend until it dawned on him that the majority of my friends were male since I used to work with mostly men.)

Anyway, so far I managed to get through editing more of my new book and beginning to feel more connected to the hopeful parts of the story than just the dark parts. I am hoping this one will be more positive than the one I wrote after Gunny died. I went back and read the other one and it was more hopeful but it was also done when Gunny was still here.

So, if you are struggling and feeling as if the goats in your life hold more power over you than the sheep do, maybe it is time to take another look at them and see what they really are inside. Let that be your guide to a happier you. Don't expect them to change. If they treated you like crap before, they will probably do it again. If they cared about you before, they'll probably do it again too!