Since my best friend Gunny died in January, I have been struggling. He was my rock and the voice in my head telling me to not give up on myself, or what I do. Every time I wanted to give up he pointed out that I've been doing this for so long, that it is a part of me and in my DNA. If I stopped, I'd stop being me.
I have never been reluctant or ashamed to ask for help when I needed it, so today I went to see a therapist to be evaluated. It's depression, plain and simple. I have been writing the next part of The Lost Son series and while I was editing it, I notice how it was getting pretty dark for a book intended to offer hope. I knew I needed help. Without Gunny keeping me going, it was depressing the hell out of me because no one I know could help with it.
They care about me and I care about them, but this is something they don't know anything about. I am always telling people I helped to go to a mental health professional. I can only do so much. I knew it was time for me to do the same.
I am taking a healing hiatus while I work through this. The therapist suggested I watch The power of vulnerability
Brené Brown studies human connection -- our ability to empathize, belong, and love. In a poignant, funny talk, she shares a deep insight from her research, one that sent her on a personal quest to know herself as well as to understand humanity. A talk to share.
I am glad I did. If you are among those who do this kind of work, keep in mind that Brown had to see a therapist too! This video has been viewed almost 59 million times!
The Rochester Chamber of Commerce, Tanya and Laura, made me feel welcome and gave me the support I needed. In other words, the Chamber expanded my support system and felt more like family. Yesterday, they went above and beyond, hosting a ribbon cutting to help me celebrate the two books I wrote in just a couple of months. I am honored and blessed to be a member of such a wonderful organization! Thank you to everyone who came out to share this wonderful day with me!
The Chamber was pleased to hold a ribbon cutting ceremony today for author Kathie Costos of PTSD Patrol, who has recently written and published two books, The Lost Son and Alive Again. The books, which are about the many causes of post traumatic stress disorder, feature a main character who was a reporter covering the wars and are based in Salem, MA and the fictional town of Gabriel, NH. Both books are available for purchase at the Chamber office, or contact Kathie: (407) 754-7526 or email moralmortal.llc@aol.com. Present in the photo in no particular order are: Kathie Costos with family and friends, Chamber Board Members: Lauren Jerr, R.W. Creteau Regional Tech Center at Spaulding High, Mark Farrell, Laars Heating Systems Company, Dave Stevens, Hourihane, Cormier and Associates, and also Harrison Thorp of The Rochester Voice and Rochester Police Chief Gary Boudreau.
If you have been wondering why I haven't been posting lately, I am editing the third part of The Lost Son. This one was started in December and is already done. Check back soon for details and as always, thank you for your support too!
After moving to New Hampshire, I was asked for an updated BIO. You would think after all these years, it should be easy, but it was not. I sat staring at a blank page for a long time. Then it dawned on me that there are a lot of people reading this site and wondering "Who is Kathie Costos and what qualifies her to come off as an expert?"
So, this is who I am.
I survived life threatening events 10 times, so I understand what it is like to have my life in jeopardy. I know what it is like to have nightmares and flashbacks, mood swings and feel as if the world is out to get me, as much as I know what it is like to take back my life from the "thing" that could have ended it.
In 1982, I met a Vietnam veteran and because of him, I do what I do everyday. I understand what it is like for him as well as what it is like for me and our family. We went through the worst and got into a better peace, so that we celebrated our 35th anniversary this year.
I researched PTSD as if my life depended on it at a local library with stacks of clinical books and a dictionary in whatever free time few had computers back then. The more I discovered about what it was, the more I loved my Vet! Oh, it isn't as if being around veterans was new to me. My uncles served in WWII and my Dad was a Korean War veteran.
Unknown to me, across the country, another Vietnam veteran working as a Seattle Police Officer was doing this work too. He started meeting veterans in 1984 at coffee shops and then created Point Man International Ministries to care for their spiritual needs, and supporting them to get the mental health help they needed from the VA. He also knew how important it was for families to have support too, so he started Home Fronts for them.
I started a lot of websites over the years but it was not until I wrote my first book FOR THE LOVE OF JACK HIS WAR MY BATTLE back in 2002, that I was contacted by an Out Post leader, learned what they did and why they did it, and have stayed with them ever since. That link goes to the three books I wrote and are available on Amazon. For The Love of Jack was republished in 2013.
In 2006 I created the first PTSD video Wounded Minds and was reaching veterans around the world.
That video was followed by about 300 more.
I started Wounded Times in 2007 after many other sites, because I thought that there should be a place to put all the research and reports I was reading, so they could be shared freely. It now has 30,855 posts with over 4 million views.
In 2008 I became a Certified Chaplain with the International Fellowship of Chaplains, specializing in veterans and first responders, crisis intervention, grief and loss, among other things. A video I did earned a Special Achievement award because while it was developed to help National Guards and Reservists, the IFOC was using it to help police officers and firefighters.
I also took every free class being offered to help me help them. I was certified in Critical Incidence and Stress Management and Peer Support in 2008. Disaster and Extreme Preparedness in 2009. The list goes on.
In 2012 after attending Valencia College, I received 5 certifications in digital media. Kind of funny considering that with all of that, I worked regular full time jobs, aside from when I was in college.
During my years, I began in Massachusetts, moved to Florida and currently live in New Hampshire. Now begins the new part of my work. Beginning soon, I will be focusing on female veterans and their families so they are no longer forgotten and going without the vital support they need.
I am a wife, Mother of a brilliant daughter and, if you ever watched the videos on PTSD Patrol, you also know I am a dogmom. This is Murray.
So that is who I am and why I do what I do. Oh, as a Chaplain, you also have to know that since I usually hang around with veterans/bikers, I am far from what you may think a chaplain is like. I drink, smoke and swear, plus I have a wicked sense of humor and bad temper that constantly has to be defused...but the older I get, the easier it is to do it. You may have noticed many of the times I freak out over an article in the press, but glad I do not have the video on as I hit the delete keys to take out a bunch of things that are not fit for public reading.
Wounded Times Kathie Costos July 7, 2019 Today is my birthday and I am asking for gifts to be given away. I know it sounds strange, but since that is how I have spent most of these years, it makes perfect sense to me. Lily Casura at Healing Combat Trauma posted a reminder on her Facebook page of something I said a long time ago.
I took the gift I was given by Dana Morgan, at Point Man International Ministries so I could keep giving away what I had to give. So many times I wanted to quit. It got to be too much for me, spiritually draining and depressing. Even with the knowledge of how many lives have been changed, there were times when I did not see any point in continuing this work. It was especially hard when some families asked me to put together the book The Warrior SAW (Suicides After War) because of the video I had done years before. It was based on research for the post Why isn't the press on suicide watch?
That post and video was not as hard as writing the book. Too many memories came flooding back. Nightmares were draining too. When you do this work, taking on the pain of others, comes with the territory. It is called Secondary Traumatization but I dealt with it, the same way I did with all the other times. I talked to people I trusted, like Dana. There were so many other times I needed help because of what I do, and I took comfort in knowing all this provider had to do was ask for help too! Next month I am going to Buffalo for a conference and a thank you celebration for Dana, who retired as President. It is also to congratulate Paul Paul Sluznis as our new president. Dana also helped Paul. Years ago, I was at another conference and Paul was giving his presentation. I recorded it while he was talking about having the gun to his head, but his life was saved because of Dana. Paul ended up saving others in Washington. This is the link to part one but I want to focus on what came afterward in part two.
None of us do any of this for money, or fame, or glory. We sure do not do it for publicity. We do it because we know what pain feels like and what it is like to rejoice again! So, for my birthday please give to the group who helped me, and so many others, receive so much from!
Point Man Intl. Ministries 14420 SE 13th st Vancouver WA 98683
I am delighted that I will finally get to meet my friends on the 10th!
ON THIS VETERANS DAY 2012 THE VETERANS MULTI-PURPOSE CENTER WISHES TO RECONIZE A WIFE OF A VIETNAM VETERAN AND THE WOMAN BEHIND A TON OF WORK BEING DONE FOR VETERANS HERE IN FLORIDA. WE ARE PROUD TO ATTEST TO THE GREAT WORK OF OUR GOOD FRIEND KATHY COSTOS.
She is the creator of "The Wounded Times Blog" and the author of the book "For the Love of Jack" She is located here in Florida and her story is printed on her web site but, there is much more to this woman and her dedication to all veterans. At a time when our nations economy is suffering, we need to realize non-profit organizations suffer as well.
We must do what we can to strengthen these organizations who provide the much needed help. No, the Wounded Times Blog is not a large nationally known organization with expensive adds pleading for money on the television. No, this is one person behind the effort to help educate veterans and their families what PTSD is and how to live with it.
This is from someone who knows better than most, the anguish and despair this combat related disorder can cause. As a non-profit organization ourselves, we know all to well the struggle involved in funding the work we all do. However, we can't let this effort by Kathie Costos go un-noticed and un-funded.
Please go to the web site Wounded Times Blog We challenge all veterans and veterans organizations to MAKE A DONATION and let her know you support the work she is doing, WE HAVE!
My Massachusetts accent will be heard live on Wednesday night in case anyone is interested. We'll be discussing PTSD and offering insight as well as support for the families living with it. Most of my readers know our story very well. I tend to get on a soap box about it when I still see it happening to our newer generation of warriors. People tell me I'm passionate about them but they don't know the half of it. I eat most meals at my PC using the time of chewing so that I can read between posts. Half the time my daughter or husband have to remind me to eat because I'll forget. I do it because I know what it feels like.
I post whatever I find that can make a difference in someone's life. I post reports when I find them because I figure the more it's reported, the more it's talked about, the sooner the stigma ends. They say "misery loves company" for a reason. No one wants to feel alone in any crisis. If they know there are others going through it, they take away some comfort. The other reason is that the more bloggers post about the reports coming out, paying attention to them, getting hits because of them, the reporters will be more inclined to do some more reporting on it.
Call in the show and ask questions. Learn from the years I've walked in the shoes and pick my brain. There is a lot even I still don't know, but if you come away from the show with hope, I will feel as if we've accomplished what we set out to do. Don't forget my book can be opened right here on the blog on the right side. It opens in Adobe and lets you in on 18 years of our life as PTSD went from mild to sending my husband over the edge and then into healing. We've been married since 1984. If he can live again after all the years he had no help at all, there is hope anyone can. He'll never be free of PTSD but he is living a life again thanks to some great doctors back at Bedford VA who wouldn't give up on him and some great ones down here in Florida. OK, I had something to do with it to, but I thank God everyday that He held my hand all the way through it.
This is the main Stardust Radio Network site:
http://www.stardustent.com/ You will see the various shows on the left. Choose SVR Broadcast. That will take you to this link:
