PTSD and Grimm Reailty

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
August 21, 2023

Having to be home so much due to some personal things, I've been discovering series I never had the chance to watch. A couple of weeks ago, I found the Grimm series.

 Grimm

Portland detective, Nick Burkhardt, has seen some gruesome crime scenes, but nothing prepares him for the strange visions he begins seeing: seemingly regular people momentarily transforming into hideous monsters. A visit from his only living relative reveals the truth. Nick has inherited the ability to see supernatural creatures, and as a "Grimm," he is tasked with keeping the balance between mankind and the mythological. A reformed "Big Bad Wolf" becomes his greatest (and also reluctant) ally and confidant. It's not long before his work as a policeman leads Nick to the criminals he once thought were only found in fairy tales.—L. Hamre

I am a fan of horror as long as the good guys win in the end. What got me hooked was the horror of this series it was also about friends standing by your side to help you defeat the demons you have to fight. After all, that is how we heal #PTSD.

Over the weekend I was binge-watching the 3rd season when I saw The Red Menace. I wasn't ready for it to include Juliette's friend having to hide at her house because she was running away from a violent husband. Watching it, I had to take a lot of deep breaths. It brought back memories of when my first husband tried to kill me and then stalked me. To me, he was the demon I had to fight. That's how he became my ex-husband and how the marriage lasted less than two years. (I've been with my second husband since 1982.)

The thing is, we do heal from what we survive, no matter what it is. The grim reality is that we still have scars, and every once in a while, the memories leak out of those cracks and come alive. The more we heal, the less time they take away from our current reality. After that episode, I ended up watching a comedy for a break. Today, I went back to watching it and not fearing what I'd have resurrected.

Kathie Costos author of

The Scribe Of Salem

The Visionary Of Salem

13th Minister Of Salem

Horror Films as a Reimagined Space for Healing, and books too

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
August 17, 2023

I was searching for a way to prove a point to someone about my Ministers Of The Mystery series when I found this article. Horror Films as a Reimagined Space for Healing on Neuroscience News. It supports my view that #PTSD is a lot like a horror movie. We don't choose to buy a ticket to view it because it is just too damn expensive. Paying a price for surviving until we begin to heal can cost us everything we have. The thing I tried to show in the books is that we don't have to pay the fee for life.

From the day we survive we can begin to heal but we waste a lot of time waiting to "get over it" and then searching for the wrong ways to cope with the changes in us that we don't understand. I swear they should give every trauma survivor a class on healing so that we don't needlessly struggle.

Most of us don't even know the basics but don't feel bad about that since I knew more than most as a researcher without being able to acknowledge as a survivor of multiple events, I was also a member of this club no one wants to belong to. When I finally reached out to a couple of psychologists I know about what was going on, they said it sounded like I had a rare form of it. Now that made a lot of sense to me because I never could understand how I could understand others with PTSD so easily. We were all fighting the demons.

That's why I wrote the books. The article summarized the books perfectly and was written before I wrote them. I had no idea I was on the right track. Head smack moment for me because in an effort to prove a point to someone else, I proved a point to myself. 

But her story doesn’t stop there – in some ways, a whole new life, overshadowed by trauma, has only just begun, Ohio State University graduate student Morgan Podraza posits in an article published in the journal Horror Studies.

This was addressing the movie Halloween but it could have been about one of the main characters in the series. Grace Falls was fighting PTSD in The Scribe Of Salem but while some will just assume she had it from being an Orlando FL motorcycle police officer, it is not until the third book, 13th Minister Of Salem, does the reader discover it began many years before she comes back into Chris's life. 

“The way this film specifically deals with cycles of trauma and their connection to the experiences of survivors was really important to me because I think it is indicative of how we talk about trauma and survivors of trauma even today, and ways that people are spoken about negatively – their trauma is not acknowledged or they’re not given an opportunity for healing,” Podraza said.

Cycles of trauma are exactly what they go through, all the characters. They were all judged by others that did not understand and then helped by those who did.

Podraza cites scholarship in her article noting that survival of trauma itself is a crisis, that moving forward with life after a traumatizing event is also traumatic. The Laurie Strode character shows how this might look: Her obsession with protecting herself and others is tethered to her survival, and her outlook on life – a life saved by her own hand – remains grim because she’s convinced she is subject to a continuing threat.

And that last part was the point I was trying to prove.  The horror movie is not one we can walk away from as if it never happened. The thing is, our lives do not have to be one horror movie after another. We get to see love stories, victories, and yes, even comedies. As we heal leaving the horror movie no longer leaves us checking the back seat of our car to make sure the threat didn't follow us out. Yes, I did that after I saw the first Nightmare On Elm Street.

Authors struggle to weave their stories into something that will cause readers to enjoy or learn from them. The following just made me cry because this review is beyond what I hoped for. (Linkedin) 

Reviewed by K.C. Finn for Readers' Favorite
Penned by Kathie Costos, 13th Minister Of Salem is a work in the supernatural horror, suspense, and gothic drama subgenres, forming the third installment in the Ministers Of The Mystery series. It is best suited to mature adult readers owing to its dark content and adult situations. In this profoundly intriguing continuation of the series, we find ourselves back with Chris as word of his achievements and talents has spread, but this only leads to more trouble for our hero. Trying to get married would be hard enough without the constant death threats from the cult of the now-defeated Haman Cain, let alone the Master’s warning that his end-time is drawing near.

Kathie Costos brings us back into the world of gothic suspense, deep drama, and a chilling thriller with a bang in this third installment in the series. I found myself deeply involved in Chris’s psychological storyline. We see the painfully realistic damage that his adventures, battles, and triumphs have left him with over the events of the first two novels. I felt his pain, isolation, and pressure deep in my soul; such is the efficacy of Costos’s intimate narrative, thought, and speech portrayal. The darkest elements of the work are also well-handled to avoid being gratuitous but remain chilling to the core. I recommend 13th Minister Of Salem to fans of the existing series as another accomplished paranormal chiller to devour.

You can find the books wherever you love to buy them from in eBook or paperback 

Growing up in mental health crisis

Meeting youth mental health needs remains a priority – and challenge – for NH providers

New Hampshire Public Radio
By Paul Cuno-Booth
Published July 10, 2023

Sen. Maggie Hassan and Loreley Godfrey, a Portsmouth resident, and advocate, during a roundtable discussion on youth mental health Monday in Manchester.

Mental health services for children and teens continue to be a pressing need in New Hampshire in the wake of the pandemic, according to providers and advocates who spoke at a roundtable in Manchester Monday.

Depression and anxiety among youth rose during the pandemic, and services have struggled to keep up.

“We have some young adults here that have spent their entire high school in this traumatic situation – addiction crisis, layered with COVID, layered with mental health,” said Mary Forsythe-Taber, the executive director of Makin’ It Happens, a youth-focused organization in the greater Manchester area.

The speakers – who included advocates, representatives of mental health providers, and the head of the state’s behavioral health division – described various ways they’re trying to meet that need, supported by recent infusions of federal funding.

That includes planned investments in community mental health, efforts to better integrate mental health services in schools, and a new University of New Hampshire graduate program that aims to train school social workers.

But high demand and shortages of staff continue to leave some families waiting months for services. The Mental Health Center of Greater Manchester is booking some intakes six months out and has about 350 families on the waitlist, according to Director of Child and Adolescent Services Jeanna Still.
read more here

I am a senior citizen. Growing old wasn't easy, but I still remember that growing up wasn't easy either. At least when I was young, we didn't have cell phones, social media, or videos to deal with. We did have bullies, and pressures from other kids, and from our parents. 

The best advice I can give you is first to know yourself. Who are you, what do you want, what do you love and what do you love to do? Be a best friend to yourself first so that you can cope with the world around you a little bit better. 

I know I had to. It wasn't easy and it took a lot of time. The thing is, it was worth it because no matter where you live, who you are with, or what you're doing, you will always be your best friend to yourself. 

Find some help here

Children, youth, and families in need of crisis care have many ways to get the help they need. This page is a guide on what types of care they can get during a crisis. What is a crisis? Any time a child, youth, or family cannot handle a mental, emotional, or substance problem. What that looks like for you will be different than someone else. You get to decide if you need help. 

New Hampshire's Rapid Response
24-hour services are available by for any child, youth, or family in crisis 1 (833) 710-6477. NHRR has people who can talk, chat or text with anyone and/or can send a Rapid Response Team to meet in person.

suffering after surviving doesn't last as long as being able to help others

This report about the fires in Maui is a few days old. We know the number of dead has gone up since it was posted. What it has in it is too important to not share, beginning with this,

"People who develop any of these issues are at very high risk for suicide," Berkowitz said. "People with PTSD or any of these trauma-related disorders will often be more irritable, have angry outbursts and that can lead to physical aggression and issues. Substance dependence is not an uncommon outcome of this." (KABC News)

If you have #PTSD you know what it is like when you discover it can happen to you, because it did.

Woman recalls harrowing scene of Maui fires as death toll climbs: 'People died in their car'
KABC
Josh Haskell
Friday, August 11, 2023

Research has shown wildfires and the subsequent smoke can lead to increased rates of anxiety and depression and become worse among people who already have these conditions.

Dr. Steve Berkowitz, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Colorado Anschutz Medical Campus, said wildfires and other natural disasters may also impact the ability of people with mental health conditions to receive care.

Many residents were forced to jump into the ocean to escape the flames.

LAHAINA, Hawaii (KABC) -- Many longtime residents of Maui are having a difficult time processing the devastation they have witnessed after dangerous wildfires ravaged the small Hawaiian island.

At least 59 people have been killed and a majority of the historic town of Lahaina, which was once the capital of the Kingdom of Hawaii, has been destroyed, according to officials.

During a press briefing on Thursday, Gov. Josh Green called the wildfires "likely the largest natural disaster in Hawaii's state history."

Many residents who have lost everything are now sheltered at a local gym. The aftermath of the wildfires is already having a significant impact on people's mental and physical health.

Thao Tran, who has lived in Lahaina for 30 years, described it as a nightmare.
read more here

Death toll from Maui wildfire climbs to 96, making it the deadliest in the US in more than 100 years

No one admits they fear it can happen to them. It's often harder to admit it after it happened and you need help. The thing is, if you read this site, then you know how healing it is to help someone else understand what it is like to be grateful you survived because you found healing. No one else will understand them unless they are survivors too. If you come across their posts on social media and they are looking for support, right now the most helpful thing you can do for them is be an example that the suffering after surviving doesn't last as long as being able to help others. That lasts a lifetime.

"This is a nightmare that I'm not going to wake up from." Brenda Marles

West Palm Beach VA Medical Center 'failed' veteran who died by suicide, lawsuit says

WPTV
By: Dave Bohman
Jul 27, 2023

This is a case about not listening to the needs of a Marine veteran who was reaching out to get help

WPTV
Brenda Marles describes the heartbreak of losing her husband to suicide and why she is suing the West Palm Beach VA.

According to her lawsuit, he went to the VA in January 2021 complaining "of anxiety, hallucinations, chest pain, insomnia, night sweats, and 'having crazy dreams.'"

The suit claims his PTSD was triggered in part by the Jan. 6 siege on the nation’s capital days earlier.

But after two visits to the West Palm Beach VA, the suit claims Rico Marles told his wife, "he did not believe anyone in the [Emergency Department] took his complaints seriously." Instead, "he felt 'brushed off.'"

After returning from his second VA visit, Brenda Marles said she fell asleep next to her husband. Then heard, "the sound of a pop."

Rico Marles shot himself.

Brenda Marles said her husband's suicide left her diagnosed with PTSD.

"This is a nightmare that I'm not going to wake up from," she said. read more here

I hate to read something like this. Not just because it is so sad, but because it is still happening. Veterans fight our battles and then have to fight the government for what they need to heal and recover. They give up and then it is up to the families to fight for them. That's what happened to us in the '90s. My husband is still here and the VA is doing everything he needs. Once his claim was finally approved they have been wonderful but it was a hell of a battle to get there. The thing that wounds my soul the most is this is still happening and Brenda Marles has to fight the battle as a widow and her own battle with PTSD after her husband committed suicide. WHY?