God sent His Only Son to be a never ending story to the world

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
December 25, 2021 

Today, Christmas Day, we celebrated the birth of Jesus. It is a shame that we do not seem to notice that He is an example of a life with a never ending story. Oh, sure, we know He sacrificed His life on the Cross but His story did not end that day. As a matter of fact, it is still being written.

If you survived the cause of PTSD, you have witnessed His story still being written in those who came to help you. It is still begin written in through the lives of those who dedicate their lives toward helping you find hope for a happier life, compassion to help you know you matter, those who help you understand how much power you do have over the life ahead of you. Above all, through those who help you understand that God did not do it to you, but is there to help you heal.

For almost forty years, I know that is why I have done whatever I could to help and I know why I did it. I survived over ten events and remember all of it. The physical pain, the emotional turmoil, a million unanswerable questions, but I also remember what it was like to heal. What it was like to not just smile again, but feel the emotion behind it.

Above all, once I stopped focusing on what someone did to me, I was able to focus on what others did for me. No matter what happened, it always ended the same way. Someone came to help me and that began the healing.

None of our stories are even really ended. They are carried on in the lives of others we come into contact with, just as the lives of others are still being written through us.

When I wrote The Lost Son it was an answer to my prayers. I struggled with trying to find a new way of saying what I had said for almost four decades. It took a couple of weeks of praying and then one day, I sat down at my computer and the work flowed out of me. What I had not planned on was writing two books to tell our stories of healing through faith in God and when others come to answer our prayers. They heard God asking them and they responded. After all, that is the way miracles still happen. I am living proof of that.

The books are for what never seems to get covered in the news. There are over fifteen million of us being added every year to the number of survivors struggling to heal PTSD. The thing is, even after becoming an expert on PTSD, I had no clue I was one of them because my case was odd. The first time I faced death happened twice in one night, but I was only five years old. The rest was also different because of the way I looked at life, and God. I never read anything about someone like me, so I decided to write it.

These books are for everyone struggling from all different causes and helping others find their way out of spiritual darkness. They are not intended to replace mental health professional help, but to infuse it with the power of faith. They are also written for others like me, among the churchless children of God who do not feel as if there is a place for us in a building. We too can experience God's love, much like the way Jesus taught us to pray directly to Our Father. He prayed outside most of the time.

Churches are find for a lot of people but most of the people I helped over all these years, they believe in God but consider themselves spiritual instead of religious. It is not that we are wrong not wanting to go to church, but that we simply don't feel as if we belong there.

From Alive Again The Lost Son Part Two

"Thank you all for coming. I am Chris Papadopoulos. Blessed Are The Peacemakers Ingredients of Miracles tells the story of how on September 13th 2019, a Friday the 13th by the way, I sat on my bed with a gun in my hand. It was seven years after surviving a bomb blast covering war, but that night, there was a war going on inside my soul. All I could think about was ending my suffering. An angel of light and goodness was fighting against an angel of darkness and evil inside of me. The angel of light managed to declare a minor victory and I was not happy about that. The next thing I knew, I was walking to my home away from home, this bar. Strange thinking about it now, because even as depressed as I was, I was still worried about hurting someone else, so I walked instead of risking driving drunk and hurting someone else. Apparently God had other plans for how to end my suffering.

I was talking to the only friend I thought I had, Ed, the bartender,” he waited for them to stop laughing. He turned to point to Ed. “I really wanted to say good bye to him. While I was sucking down another drink, a group of men walked in carrying the answer to my prayers. This is Bill and David and Drake. We also have Alex, Mary and Benjamin, all in the book. We have with us Grace and she’s the reason I called this press conference. A couple of nights ago, we were all eating dinner at the Inn in Gabriel when a woman came to us. She was wondering if the people in the books were real. She said she was sure her Dad helped the Boston Police Officer named Frank, who ended up saving Grace. She got to meet someone her father helped without even knowing it. She thanked us for proving that the stories of our lives never stop being written. They are in fact, never ending stories of life. And she was right. We’re all living proof that those who helped us, were helped by others before them and who knows how many other generations it goes back to. We don’t even know how far forward it goes while we’re still alive.

The question we need to ask ourselves is, do we want our life stories to be about light and goodness, or do we want to pass on darkness and evil? We’re capable of both and we’ve seen how darkness and evil spreads. David has something to say about that.”

The story of our lives does go on and what we pass on to others, is defined by us and what we choose to do with our lives. Look at this list.

Causes of PTSD from The Mayo Clinic
Risk factors
People of all ages can have post-traumatic stress disorder. However, some factors may make you more likely to develop PTSD after a traumatic event, such as:

Experiencing intense or long-lasting trauma
Having experienced other trauma earlier in life, such as childhood abuse
Having a job that increases your risk of being exposed to traumatic events, such as military personnel and first responders
Having other mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression
Having problems with substance misuse, such as excess drinking or drug use
Lacking a good support system of family and friends
Having blood relatives with mental health problems, including anxiety or depression Kinds of traumatic events

The most common events leading to the development of PTSD include:

Combat exposure
Childhood physical abuse
Sexual violence
Physical assault
Being threatened with a weapon
An accident

Many other traumatic events also can lead to PTSD, such as fire, natural disaster, mugging, robbery, plane crash, torture, kidnapping, life-threatening medical diagnosis, terrorist attack, and other extreme or life-threatening events.

Prevention

After surviving a traumatic event, many people have PTSD-like symptoms at first, such as being unable to stop thinking about what's happened. Fear, anxiety, anger, depression, guilt — all are common reactions to trauma. However, the majority of people exposed to trauma do not develop long-term post-traumatic stress disorder.

Getting timely help and support may prevent normal stress reactions from getting worse and developing into PTSD. This may mean turning to family and friends who will listen and offer comfort. It may mean seeking out a mental health professional for a brief course of therapy. Some people may also find it helpful to turn to their faith community.

Support from others also may help prevent you from turning to unhealthy coping methods, such as misuse of alcohol or drugs.

If you want to begin to believe in miracles again, today would be a great day to start since we are remembering the day when God sent His Only Son to be a never ending story to the world. 

Thankful God Had Plan B

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 25, 2021

When I was five years old, I had a fractured skull, concussion and head trauma. Aside from everything else, it caused a speech problem. Kids being kids, I was made fun of and limited what I said out loud. When I got older, it was easier to write instead of speak. My pen was my voice.

In my senior year of high school, my English teacher said I was a natural born writer. I wrote a speech for a national competition and it won first place. The thing was, I had to have one of my classmates read it because when I got nervous, words didn't come out right. My typewriter was my voice.

In 1982 I was introduced to the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I fell in love with a Vietnam veteran. I had no way of knowing it at the time, but I had it too. My ex-husband tried to kill me and then stalked me for years. It helped me to understand what war did to my veteran. The more I learned, the more convinced I was that people needed to know about this. Writing was still my voice and I wrote to local newspapers.

In 1993, I got online and started to write about it on as many places as I could. My computer was my voice.

When I got older, a friend told me I missed my calling and should have become a preacher. The problem with that was, as a Greek Orthodox woman, that wasn't possible. I did not want to renounce my faith to join another church where my preaching would be welcomed. My computer was still my voice.

In 2002, I finished writing my first book on PTSD. For The Love Of Jack told our story and I wrote about the importance of our souls aiding in healing, I had to republish it in 2012.

My computer is still the voice I use most of all, but in today's world, it also because my way of speaking through videos.

One of the first videos I did was back in 2006. Coming Out Of The Dark. My video camera was my voice.

Why be afraid if you're not alone? Life is never easy, the rest is unknown. The song is by Gloria Estefan and the first time I heard it, all I could think about were the Vietnam veterans I spent so much time with including my husband. You are not alone fighting to heal PTSD just as you were not alone during combat.

All these later, almost forty of them, healing PTSD has used everything God planned for me as well as the pain others caused me.

This past summer, I was at a crossroad and not in a good way. After all these years, I had nothing new to say. I did the writing, research, created over 700 videos and had three books. I was depressed reading reports on PTSD and constantly seeing failure after failure, topped off with reporters never telling the whole story of the lives of survivors.

My faith in God was stronger than ever, but my faith in myself was at the lowest point in my life. I did what I usually do. I turned to God and prayed for a way to express what He taught me all these years. I wanted to give knowledge as much as I wanted to give hope.

God answered that prayer with The Lost Son.

Before I was done with this one, God delivered a second one to begin. Alive Again

Both book are like the Parable of The Lost Son because the main character was supposed to be a priest, but became a reporter. He walked away from God because he believed God walked away from him first. As with the lost son in the Bible, he went back to his Father and God rejoiced. He used Chris's talents and all the gifts he had to deliver messaged to the world that God still hears prayers and answers them through other people.

The stories involve veterans dealing with PTSD, but also everyone else trying to come to terms with being a survivor. I hope you find understanding and, above all else, hope that your life story is one that you determine and define. We are limited in what we can do but there are no limits on what God can do for us, and through us!

On this Thanksgiving Day, I am grateful for God's plan B for me! God gave me back my voice.

PTSD Ball Of Confusion

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 25, 2021

When you trust someone and discover they lied to you, it sucks! If they lied that time, you wonder how many other times did they lie to you. Then you wonder about everyone else you believed. While it is hard to get away from them and never have anything to do with them again, it is not impossible.

What if you lied to yourself? You tell yourself things all the time that are not true but you convince yourself otherwise. What do you do when you discover you should not have trusted you? You wonder what else you lied to yourself about. It isn't as if you can cut yourself out of your life. What do you do?

You forgive yourself by figuring out why you believed the lie in the first place. Most of us don't make things up in our own heads. We hear lies from someone else, who, very well may have been, told it and believed it as easily as you believed them.

Then you figure out if you only believed it because you wanted to. If it supports what you already thought, then it was something you wanted to hear.

We see that all the time when the topic is PTSD. When you hear someone has PTSD, maybe you think they are weak, and then believe the lie supporting that thought. What does that lie do to you when you survive something and discover you have PTSD?

The people who berate survivors the most are usually in denial about their own suffering. The truth is, someone told them that lie in the first place, and they wanted to believe it.

This is from The Department of Veterans Affairs

The number of Veterans with PTSD varies by service era:

Operations Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and Enduring Freedom (OEF): About 11-20 out of every 100 Veterans (or between 11-20%) who served in OIF or OEF have PTSD in a given year.
Gulf War (Desert Storm): About 12 out of every 100 Gulf War Veterans (or 12%) have PTSD in a given year.
Vietnam War: About 15 out of every 100 Vietnam Veterans (or 15%) were currently diagnosed with PTSD at the time of the most recent study in the late 1980s, the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study (NVVRS).
It is estimated that about 30 out of every 100 (or 30%) of Vietnam Veterans have had PTSD in their lifetime.

Other factors in a combat situation can add more stress to an already stressful situation. This may contribute to PTSD and other mental health problems. These factors include what you do in the war, the politics around the war, where the war is fought, and the type of enemy you face.
Another cause of PTSD in the military can be military sexual trauma (MST). This is any sexual harassment or sexual assault that occurs while you are in the military. MST can happen to both men and women and can occur during peacetime, training, or war.
Among Veterans who use VA health care, about:

23 out of 100 women (or 23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
55 out of 100 women (or 55%) and 38 out of 100 men (or 38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.

There are many more male Veterans than there are female Veterans. So, even though military sexual trauma is more common in women Veterans, over half of all Veterans with military sexual trauma are men.

Now think about all the people in the US with PTSD. 

• About 15 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma.

Stop lying to yourself and start forgiving yourself for the lies you believed about yourself! People lied to you but it is not too late to tell yourself the simple truth. There is nothing weak about being a survivor. There is nothing holding you back from healing other than what you allow to hold power over you.

No one will understand what surviving did to you unless they survived something that could have killed them. Look at the people around you and then understand it is not easy for them to understand you, even though they love you and care about you. They don't understand what caused changes in you anymore than they can understand that you need help to heal. This is why support groups work! You get the support and information you need to heal and then have the confidence to explain it to people in your life.

The only way to get there from where you're at is, tell yourself the truth about what it is and then tell yourself the truth that you are not stuck suffering. The road to healing is waiting for you and has been cleared by all the others who decided to end the ball of confusion. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Temptations Ball Of Confusion

the oldest pandemic this nation has ever seen

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
June 22, 2021

Last year I went to the New Hampshire veterans cemetery for the first time on Memorial Day. As I walked around, I thought about all the veterans in my family who passed away, as well as the two veterans I was walking with. My husband and his best friend are both Vietnam veterans.

When I came upon this memorial, I had to catch a couple of tears falling. The empty place where the service member is saluting, got to me.

It was around that time when I was debating about giving up working with veterans. No matter how hard I tried, or how much I knew, it seemed as if I was fighting everyone I knew in the veteran community. Most of them were latched onto the slogan of "22 a day" and wouldn't let go of the notion that suicide awareness was a good thing to do. How could they believe that letting suicidal veterans hear about others giving up would offer them anything but more despair?

It was too late to change their minds and I had been doing this work for too long to be able to deal with the deadly results of ignorance. My heart was being ripped out every time I read another report of another suicide.

No one wanted to hear what needed to be done, anymore than they wanted to hear about the decades of failures to address the oldest pandemic this nation has ever seen...suicides carried out by those who valued the lives of others so much so, they were willing to die to save them.

I got into all of this in 1982 and focused on Vietnam veterans with PTSD, but the truth is, they had only become the latest generation to join the others going back to when this nation began. What I didn't know back then was there would be more wars. 

It felt as if I was fighting this one all alone as soon as people started to read news reports in 2012. Soon after that, the awareness groups started popping up and eroding the ability for veterans to find people like me.

And now, maybe you'll understand why I gave up on what I had dedicated my life to almost 4 decades ago.

Active-duty suicide numbers level off after summer spike, but reserves soar published April 5, 2021 on Military Times.

While active-duty suicides jumped about 8 percent overall last year ― to 377 total, compared to a 7-percent jump the previous year, or 348 total ― the final months of last year saw a leveling-off of that worrisome summer spike, with 99 total suicides from October to December, compared to 100 during the same period in 2019.

The reserve component, on the other hand, held steady in the first nine months of the year, before exploding with deaths by suicide in the fall and winter ― a 128-percent spike, from 25 deaths in late 2019 to 57 in late 2020. Most of that spike was concentrated in the National Guard, which went from 14 suicides to 39 during the same period; 23 of those deaths were in the Army National Guard, specifically.

Yesterday Military.com published this....Since 9/11, Suicide Has Claimed Four Times More Military Lives Than Combat

In a paper released Monday as part of its Costs of War series, Brown's Watson Institute for International and Public Affairs estimates that 30,177 active-duty personnel and veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have taken their own lives over the last nearly 20 years.

That is far greater than the 7,057 service members who died in war operations since 9/11, the institute said in the report, "High Suicide Rates Among United States Service Members and Veterans of the Post-9/11 Wars."

But Congress kept writing more bills and people kept pretending that it was all so important to them that they never once opened their eyes to change the outcome to anything but worse.

If you want to get hope back, and change the conversation from doom and gloom, read PTSD Patrol website and blog. Go to Facebook PTSD Patrol 

"And I could hear them,"

subject:Capitol Crimes

If a man walks naked down a city street, do police officers just let him go because he said he believed he had clothes on? No, they arrest him for committing a crime.

If someone comes to your house and demands you leave, because they said they believe they own your house, do you pack up and go? No, they get arrested for committing a crime.

Just because a President could not admit he lost the election, the US Capitol was attacked. All it took was for him to say he believed and he was believed. No proof, no facts, the courts and recounts proved the count to be valid and he did lose, but no matter what, all his supporters needed to hear was what he said he believed.

It does not matter what the criminals believed they were doing when they committed crimes against this country. It matters they did it because a man said he believed he was still the president. When the majority of the Senators voted for an investigation into what happened and who did it, but the minority said they didn't care, it says more about them, than the criminals who did it.
 

'I thought I was going to lose my life': Capitol Police officers share their harrowing January 6 stories for the first time

By Whitney Wild and Jeremy Herb, CNN
June 3, 2021

Washington (CNN)US Capitol Police Sgt. Aquilino Gonell was beaten with a flagpole. His hand was sliced open. He was hit with so much chemical spray that the liquid soaked through to his skin. During intense hand-to-hand combat with rioters on the west front of the US Capitol on January 6, there were moments where Gonell thought he might die.

"They called us traitors. They beat us. They dragged us," Gonell told CNN, in his first interview about the violence he experienced and witnessed on January 6. "And I could hear them, 'We're going to shoot you. We're going to kill you. You're choosing your paycheck over the country. You're a disgrace. You're a traitor.'"

Several hundred feet away that same day, US Capitol Police Officer Byron Evans was inside the locked Senate chamber with 100 senators and Vice President Mike Pence, hand on his weapon and mentally preparing for a life-or-death situation to come through the doors. read more here

The Capitol Police Officers still do their jobs for the same people who supported the criminals more than those who defended them with their own lives. They heard the criminal voices and saw what they did to the Capitol. They still hear their voices echoed in their nightmares and in the halls with their flashbacks. This goes far beyond what was done. The wounds are being cut deeper because some members of the House and Senate are defending criminals and the man who said he believed he won what he lost.

They have no idea when it will happen again. They are only sure it can happen because a fraction of the people still believe the criminals lying to them. The only way to provide any kind of justice is to investigate the facts. Finding every criminal trying to take over the country that horrible day is the only way to heal this nation.

There are members of the military and veterans who are being arrested and charged for participating in this. Some cannot understand how they could do such a thing after serving this country. The fact is, some of them should have never been allowed into the military. We tend to see all of them as honorable and joining for the right reasons. The truth is, a small number of them join to kill and blow things up. It is easier to understand how "Protecting and Defending the Constitution" had nothing to do with their service, when we look at the facts and hear what they say they believe.

1 in 10 defendants from US Capitol insurrection have military ties

(CNN) One in 10 people charged in the US Capitol insurrection are veterans or current servicemembers, according to a CNN review of court documents and Pentagon records.

At least 45 of the approximately 450 overall defendants have ties to the US military, according to the CNN review. The bulk of these 45 defendants are veterans, but a handful are still serving, including an active duty Marine Corps officer from Virginia who was arrested earlier this month.

A quarter of the defendants with military ties are also connected to right-wing extremist groups, like the Oath Keepers and Proud Boys. These groups had a big presence at the January 6 riot, and they've attracted significant attention from federal prosecutors investigating the attack and from Pentagon officials who are coming to grips with the problem of extremism in the military.

What does all of this say to the good members of the service who joined for the right reasons? What kind of message are they getting from their leaders?

What does this say to any veteran or current member of the military with PTSD? When so many members of the House and Senate want to give all the perpetrators protection leaving the other members of the House and Senate vulnerable to it happening again? When do they get to feel safe doing the jobs they were elected to do? When do the Capitol Police Officers get to feel as if their service and risking their lives actually matter to those they protect?

Those questions will only be answered when there is accountability and everyone involved are held accountable. Otherwise just saying you believe something is true makes everyone else suffer for the delusion.

Remember the veterans who fought so you could heal #PTSD

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 30, 2021

Every Memorial Day, I cry more than most people. Almost everyone thinks about the lives lost during wars, but few think about all those who died because of the wars they fought. It also grieves me that most Americans fighting their own battles with PTSD, have no clue that the help they receive, was created because Vietnam Veterans came home and fought for all of it.

While I got involved almost forty years ago, the Afghanistan and Iraq veterans ended up getting all the attention because their generation was coming home, suffering, and committing suicide. The problem was, the majority of the veteran suicides known, were mostly over the age of fifty. In other words, pre-9 11 veterans, but few seemed to care.

In 2015 I did a video with Mike and the Mechanics song The Living Years. Vietnam Veterans Remembered was to let them know that someone was paying attention to what was still happening to them.

When I lived in Florida, I always recorded the escort of the Wall going into Wickham Park. I used that footage along with images from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan because of the lyrics of the song. Too many forget that war they fought and too many do not know they are still fighting it.

"So we open up a quarrel Between the present and the past"

No Vietnam veteran wants to take away from the newer generations. They took a vow to fight for all generations. The thing is, they don't want to be pushed aside. It should never be one generation being helped while sacrificing the other generations.

Once in a while I go back through some old emails. This is from 2006 about the book I wrote, For The Love Of Jack. I wrote it about our generation before 2001 and then self published it to help the newer generation that would follow them, and their families. That is something I learned from them...to fight for all generations.

Thank you so much for sharing your pain and story, You have helped me with my family and you dont even know it....As I read your story I was sitting there realising that you were talking about me in so many ways...the way I had become and the way I was headed. And Yes I am a combat Vet, from a long line of vets.......if I could just find out why there is no answers...........But I wanted to say thank you.......

Let the images sink in on this video because the pictures from Afghanistan and Iraq were the only ones people seemed to care about, but the older generations waited longer, suffered longer and still fought for the newer generation so that they would not end up like them.

The thing is, my generation is still fighting so that the newer generation does not have to suffer instead of healing the wounds they carried for far too long. We are retiring and dying off but doing all we can "in the living years."

When Vietnam veterans came home and fought for all the research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they were concentrating on what happens to those who fight the wars for this country. They had no clue that their efforts would end up helping everyone with PTSD. If you have PTSD and are getting help to heal, and you see a Vietnam veteran, say "thank you" to them because you have the hope of healing because of them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Living Years

Song by Mike + The Mechanics

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Oh, crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be okay

So say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

Because it's too late, it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So say it, say it, say it loud (say it loud)

Say it clear (come on say it clear)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: B.A. Robertson / Mike Rutherford (gb)

The Living Years lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC

PTSD Grieving and Healing

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

June 17, 2020

PTSD I Grieve 

This video won and award from the IFOC. It was intended for National Guard and Reservists, but Chaplains were using it with Police Officers and Firefighters.

National Guardsmen and Reservists have the same wounds as active duty troops but they come back home without the same support. They grieve just as much but for many, they are also risking their lives as police officers and firefighters. Vietnam veterans have been healing from what their service did to them and they know what it is to grieve. Combat PTSD is different from other types. We only know about this wound of war because they fought for everything available today for all veterans. If you have PTSD understand this one message. You are not stuck the way you are and your life can get better. PTSD caused the change in you. Change again!

Healing PTSD Coming Out of the Dark

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

June 17, 2020

Coming Out of the Dark

Why be afraid if you're not alone? Life is never easy, the rest is unknown. The song is by Gloria Estefan and the first time I heard it, all I could think about were the Vietnam veterans I spent so much time with including my husband. You are not alone fighting to heal PTSD just as you were not alone during combat.

PTSD healing awareness videos

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

June 17, 2020

The following videos are all about healing PTSD. Since my work was focused on veterans for the last 38 years, these are about them. The only difference is the numbers are higher than they were when I started these in 2006.

If you are not a veteran, they should help you understand PTSD enough to know that no one is beyond healing it! I pray you find enough hope in these to #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from PTSD.

In 2006 I created this video on Wounded Minds. Long before PTSD was in the news, families like mine were doing the best we could to make our veterans lives better. Sometimes we failed but after three decades, I'm still married. I still have no idea how other families do it when they know hardly nothing about PTSD. I knew almost everything and there were times when it was almost impossible to find hope. The key is to learn as much as you can, love as an active partner in their healing and find what works to make your lives better!

This is from my old website, NamGuardianAngel. Go to Combat PTSD Wounded Times to learn more.

Rory Hamill cautionary story about when helpers need help too

When the helpers cannot help

Sarasota Herald Tribune
By Billy Cox
Staff Writer
Posted May 17, 2020

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what was going to happen — emotionally, psychologically, to the public at large — once the coronavirus infections began their roller-coaster ascent in March, igniting shelter-in-place rules. 

SARASOTA — “I began writing at 3:46 in the morning on April 19, 2020. I’ve been drunk on red wine since the previous night. I haven’t slept. I haven’t stopped suffering. My own personal hell has been reignited, in light of present circumstances affecting us all.”

Motivational speaker Rory Hamill was losing altitude. The disabled Marine corporal had been here before, back in 2012, as he sat in his car, contemplated his gun, round chambered. Thoughts of his children pulled him back from the brink.

Hamill swerved from the abyss into public service, promoting his own resilience as an example for others. He was determined to keep a record of that journey, even amid the downward spiral of gravity.

“This pandemic,” Hamill pressed on last month, “although viral in nature, alludes to what happens to us as human beings, when we are stripped of our outlets and are deprived of our ability to socialize.”

When the news of Hamill’s suicide rippled out of New Jersey last week, the loss scattered shock waves across many of the 45,000 nonprofits dedicated to supporting America’s veterans. Hamill’s record still lingers in cyberspace, through videos, newspaper articles, a “60 Minutes” interview, and exhortations on his website:

“In light of my injuries, I learned that helping others, helps myself. No obstacle is impassable; by endurance, we conquer.”

Hamill, 31, encountered the impassable obstacle amid the national isolation. And as a result, everyone is taking inventory of mental health issues inside their own military circles.

“The wounded veteran community is fairly tight-knit, and when something like this happens, the word gets out,” said Kevin Kenney, an Army veteran and director of Operation Patriot Support (OPS) in Bradenton.
read it here

Also Combat wounded veteran Rory Hamill inspired others to live on...until he lost his own battle
On March 14, 2020 I posted a warning about the need to take action to help veterans with PTSD during isolation. I was thinking more about older veterans, since most of them are not online.

Finding miracles in Wounded Times

Inspirational reminders of miracles

PTSD Patrol
Stories from Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 13, 2020

With all the bad news in this country because of COVID-19, it is easy to become depressed. Social media has been spreading the bad news, division along with outright lies. Hopelessness follows.

But within the pages of friends sharing thoughts, there are messages of hope, love, humor, inspiration and miracles. Hope is fueled.

I take more comfort knowing there are people out there trying to make our days better than they would have been, than those constantly focusing on the negative.

A couple of days ago, I started searching the web for stories on miracles for a book I was planning on writing. In all honesty, I was searching to help my own mood as well.

Then it dawned on me that out of over 32,000 posts on Wounded Times, there is a treasure trove of miracles intended to fuel hope.

I opted to drop the book idea and decided to put the posts up here until I run out of them. Judging by the ones already discovered, that should take a long time to happen.
read it here

Here is the first one that just went up on PTSD Patrol
For those I love I will sacrifice

PTSD Patrol
Story from Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 13, 2020

One of the first post I put up on my views of faith, was in September 2007. To lay down his life for the sake of his friends posted September 26, 2007. Almost 900 people read it and shared it, plus 1,200+ subscribers sent it along with 90 followers. 

Do you think God abandoned you still? Come on and admit that while you were in the center of the trauma, you either felt the hand of God on your shoulder, or more often, never felt further from Him. In natural disasters, we pray to God to protect us. Yet when it's over we wonder why He didn't make the hurricane hit someplace else or why the tornadoes came and destroyed what we had while leaving the neighbors house untouched. We wonder why He heals some people while the people we love suffer. It is human nature to wonder, search for answers and try to understand.

In times of combat, it is very hard to feel anything Godly. Humans are trying to kill other humans and the horrors of wars become an evil act. The absence of God becomes overwhelming. We wonder how a loving God who blessed us with Jesus, would allow the carnage of war. We wonder how He could possibly forgive us for being a part of it. For soldiers, this is often the hardest personal crisis they face.

They are raised to love God and to be told how much God loves them. For Christians, they are reminded of the gift of Jesus, yet in moments of crisis they forget most of what Jesus went through.

Here are a few lessons and you don't even have to go to church to hear them.


And you can find the miracle that came afterwards....

April 18, 2008 I wrote the post PTSD Is Not God's Judgement to go along with the video. The video was put back up in 2015.

There is suddenly a lot of talk about "moral injury" and combat PTSD. It is survivor's guilt adding to what is known as PTSD but unlike other causes of PTSD, this one is harder to heal from. The good news is, you were not judged by God but He has put what you need to heal already in your soul. It is our job to connect you to it again. Contact Point Man International Ministries to show you the way.

Combat Wounded Veteran Rory Hamill inspired others to live on....until he lost his own battle

UPDATE: Do not become one more

Last night I could not get this story out of my mind. We loose too many people who decide their lives toward helping others, only to give up on themselves. This is not easy but it can be easier if you are willing to follow your own advice and ask for help when you need it!

If you are struggling to understand how this can happen, it is because those who put others first, put themselves last. That also includes asking for help when they need it. We need to do a lot more on encouraging veterans like Rory Hamill to follow their own advice before we continue to lose more like him.

Veterans Mourn, Outraged After Death of Another Decorated Local Marine Corps Combat Veteran

Shore News Network
May 3, 2020

OCEAN COUNTY, NJ – Rory Hamill served with 2nd Battalion, 8th Marines during his combat deployment to Afghanistan in in 2009. He returned home from war as an amputee and went on to become a veteran’s mental health advocate. Hammil was a motivational speaker and veteran mentor with the Ocean County Prosecutor’s Office Veteran’s Diversion Program. After returning home from Afghanistan, Hammil went to college and earned a degree in social sciences.

“Today, I learned that my friend, Rory Patrick Hamill, took his life yesterday,” said his close friend Jase Wheeler. “Have no idea what triggered him, but can say, I totally understand what it’s like when you battle PTSD on a daily basis. Add to that, the fact we have to quarantine, change every part of our daily routine, can’t get out to see friends, unable to do all the things that allow us to de-stress. It’s brutal. He was a father of 3, a motivational speaker, a hero and a friend.” read it here

Still pushing: Cpl. Rory Hamill
DIVIDS
Story by Master Sgt. Matt Hecht
New Jersey National Guard
02.13.2018

“All this stuff started coming out a few years ago,” said Hamill. “I thought I was fine, but it took me some time to realize things weren’t alright.”

His past deployment experiences coupled with his injuries caused Hamill a deep depression that led to alcohol abuse and a feeling suicidal. He knew he needed to turn a corner in his life.

“After one bad night, I found myself looking into the mirror, and realized that I needed to figure this out for my kids,” said Hamill. “They’re the driving force in my life.”

In addition to his kids, the other driving force in Hamill’s life is a calling to help fellow veterans.

“I don’t like quitting, at all,” said Hamill. “Call it pure stubbornness, but I don’t like giving up. I’ve always been told I can’t do stuff my entire life. It’s made me want to prove people wrong.”
read it here

That’s the day Iraq War Veteran Mitch Olson died by suicide

A special honor for a fallen young veteran amid COVID-19 restrictions

KARE 11 News
Boyd Huppert
April 14, 2020

Against that backdrop – the pain, the quiet and a family deprived of a proper military service – on Saturday, motorcycle riders with the American Legion, Combat Veterans Association and the Veterans of Foreign Wars rode in.

MINNETONKA, Minn — Fifteen miles of social distance from Fort Snelling National Cemetery, a military family grieves in the age of COVID-19.

No hugs, no graveside service, no 21-gun salute.

Just the worst pain possible, made impossibly worse.

“Mitchell's my younger brother,” Casey Olson says, standing near the flag her family flies next to the porch. “This is where we grew up, my parents have been here since 1979.”

Since March 30th, the house has never felt quieter.

That’s the day Iraq War Veteran Mitch Olson died by suicide.

read it here

Do not leave your family and friends in this kind of pain. There is hope if you #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife you can heal PTSD

COVID-19 canceled Vietnam Veterans Day Celebrations...so here is mine!

Vietnam Veterans Day Tribute

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
March 29, 2020

Today is Vietnam Veterans Day and a lot of you are feeling down because you are used to going to events organized to thank you for your service and a way to be with other veterans. Because of CORVID-19 those events have been postponed.

This is my small way of taking time to let you know, you have not been forgotten and are not alone!

What this nation owes Vietnam Veterans is far more than just a day to honor your service. It goes beyond wanting to let you know we, as a nation, are sorry for the way you were treated after you served this nation.

Giving you the truth about how Vietnam Veterans Day began, is a start.

The White House
Office of the Press Secretary
For Immediate Release March 29, 2012
Presidential Proclamation -- Vietnam Veterans Day
VIETNAM VETERANS DAY
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A PROCLAMATION

On January 12, 1962, United States Army pilots lifted more than 1,000 South Vietnamese service members over jungle and underbrush to capture a National Liberation Front stronghold near Saigon. Operation Chopper marked America's first combat mission against the Viet Cong, and the beginning of one of our longest and most challenging wars. Through more than a decade of conflict that tested the fabric of our Nation, the service of our men and women in uniform stood true. Fifty years after that fateful mission, we honor the more than 3 million Americans who served, we pay tribute to those we have laid to rest, and we reaffirm our dedication to showing a generation of veterans the respect and support of a grateful Nation.

The Vietnam War is a story of service members of different backgrounds, colors, and creeds who came together to complete a daunting mission. It is a story of Americans from every corner of our Nation who left the warmth of family to serve the country they loved. It is a story of patriots who braved the line of fire, who cast themselves into harm's way to save a friend, who fought hour after hour, day after day to preserve the liberties we hold dear. From Ia Drang to Hue, they won every major battle of the war and upheld the highest traditions of our Armed Forces.

Eleven years of combat left their imprint on a generation. Thousands returned home bearing shrapnel and scars; still more were burdened by the invisible wounds of post-traumatic stress, of Agent Orange, of memories that would never fade. More than 58,000 laid down their lives in service to our Nation. Now and forever, their names are etched into two faces of black granite, a lasting memorial to those who bore conflict's greatest cost.

Our veterans answered our country's call and served with honor, and on March 29, 1973, the last of our troops left Vietnam. Yet, in one of the war's most profound tragedies, many of these men and women came home to be shunned or neglected -- to face treatment unbefitting their courage and a welcome unworthy of their example. We must never let this happen again. Today, we reaffirm one of our most fundamental obligations: to show all who have worn the uniform of the United States the respect and dignity they deserve, and to honor their sacrifice by serving them as well as they served us. Half a century after those helicopters swept off the ground and into the annals of history, we pay tribute to the fallen, the missing, the wounded, the millions who served, and the millions more who awaited their return. Our Nation stands stronger for their service, and on Vietnam Veterans Day, we honor their proud legacy with our deepest gratitude.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim March 29, 2012, as Vietnam Veterans Day. I call upon all Americans to observe this day with appropriate programs, ceremonies, and activities that commemorate the 50 year anniversary of the Vietnam War.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this twenty-ninth day of March, in the year of our Lord two thousand twelve, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-sixth.

BARACK OBAMA

Now you know that this day to offer as tribute to Vietnam Veterans began back in 2012, but as you also know, the years are not the truth. The years are just those recognized as such.

You know the first recognized service member killed in Vietnam was Air Force T-Sgt. Richard B. Fitzgibbon Jr. The following facts are from The Wall

The first American soldier killed in the Vietnam War was Air Force T-Sgt. Richard B. Fitzgibbon Jr. He is listed by the U.S. Department of Defense as having a casualty date of June 8, 1956. His name was added to the Wall on Memorial Day 1999.

First battlefield fatality was Specialist 4 James T. Davis who was killed on December 22, 1961.

And the last came in 1975.

The last American soldier killed in the Vietnam War was Kelton Rena Turner, an 18-year old Marine. He was killed in action on May 15, 1975, two weeks after the evacuation of Saigon, in what became known as the Mayaguez incident.

Others list Gary L. Hall, Joseph N. Hargrove and Danny G. Marshall as the last to die in Vietnam. These three US Marines Corps veterans were mistakenly left behind on Koh Tang Island during the Mayaguez incident. They were last seen together but unfortunately to date, their fate is unknown. They are located on panel 1W, lines 130 - 131.

This is from the President Ford Library

Your battles lasted almost 20 years by some accounts. Yet, in all honesty, your battles never ended.

When you came home, treated as if you should not have returned, you accomplished so much for the sake of the same people who did worse than turn their backs on you.

At the Orlando Nam Knights fundraiser for Homes For Our Troops, Vietnam Veteran and Medal of Honor hero Sammy Davis talked to me about what it was like coming home after all he'd been through. It is a story few have heard before. As Sammy put it, it is one of the reasons no other veteran will ever come home treated like that again.

Vietnam Medal of Honor Sammy Davis has a message to all the troops coming home. Talk about it! Don't try to forget it but you can make peace with it. Dixie Davis has a message for the spouses too. Help them to talk about it with you or with someone else.

All over the country, men and women like Sammy returned with a new mission. Taking care of other veterans and making sure that no generation ever had to go through what they went through.

Vietnam Veterans of America, Inc. (VVA) is a national non-profit corporation founded in 1978 in the United States that is committed to serving the needs of all veterans. It is funded without any contribution from any branch of government. VVA is the only such organization chartered by the United States Congress and dedicated to Vietnam veterans and their families. The group holds a congressional charter under Title 36 of the United States Code. Its founding principle is "Never again will one generation of veterans abandon another."

Vietnam Veterans of America (VVA) is the only national Vietnam veterans organization congressionally chartered and exclusively dedicated to Vietnam-era veterans and their families.

By the late 1970s, it was clear the established veterans groups had failed to make a priority of the issues of concern to Vietnam veterans. As a result, a vacuum existed within the nation’s legislative and public agenda. In January 1978, a small group of Vietnam veteran activists came to Washington, D.C., searching for allies to support the creation of an advocacy organization devoted exclusively to the needs of Vietnam veterans. VVA, initially known as the Council of Vietnam Veterans, began its work. At the end of its first year of operation in 1979, the total assets were $46,506.

I met my Vietnam veteran husband in 1982. Everything I have learned about PTSD came because of him and the wonderful man I saw beneath the pain he carried home with him. The following are videos I started to make in 2006 because I ended up falling in love with all Vietnam veterans because of what you did for all of us!

This was the first one and it was shown by a member of the US Navy bringing troops back from Iraq.

UPDATE

The general public has twisted ideas about female veterans...time to change the conversation

Kathie Costos on Remember The Fallen

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
March 20, 2020

Last night I was the guest on Remember The Fallen Podcast with one of my buddies, Sgt. Dave Matthews who was with the Florida National Guard.

The topic was military women and veterans. You would think that since women have fought for this country...before it was one, they would not be regarded as second class anything, but they are.

The general public has twisted ideas about them. Take a man and woman, sitting together, each with a military hat on, the male is thanked for his service, while the woman is lucky to get a reluctant smile. It is the same when they hear about a female veteran with PTSD.

Hear about a male veteran with PTSD and right away, folks assume combat. Hear about a female veteran with PTSD and they think sexual assault. Even now researchers and reporters point to that when offering facts, instead of acknowledging that women are exposed to most of the same traumas males endure...and males are also exposed to sexual assaults too!

In this episode, Dave mentioned a woman during the Revolutionary War who strapped down her breasts so that she could serve next to the males. We did not get to talk more about her, but this is the woman we were talking about.

Deborah Sampson became a hero of the American Revolution when she disguised herself as a man and joined the Patriot forces. She was the only woman to earn a full military pension for participation in the Revolutionary army.

When we talk about our fabulous females, all things are considered and they are equally worthy of honor for their service. The percentage, while growing, remains a barrier to healing, that does not have to be there. We are doing what we can to break that down by helping you #BreakTheSilence so you hear it is possible to #TakeBackYourLife and be defined by what you decide to do from this moment onward!

HEAR HER ROAR on Remember The Fallen Podcast

Remember a lot of older veterans are not online. The phone is their lifeline!

UPDATE Media started to pay attention...

Coronavirus isolation dangerous for veterans with PTSD, Kentucky advocates warn
Louisville Courier Journal...April 3!

“Isolation in the veteran community is, in fact, a killer,” said Harrell, an Iraq combat veteran.

Veterans who struggle with PTSD, suicidal thoughts or depression are especially vulnerable during the pandemic, he said. read it here

UPDATE Calls to veteran crisis hotline up 12 percent during COVID-19 outbreak, Wilkie tells VSOs

“The isolation required now was a key part of my question,” Chenelly said. “How do we counteract the negative effects of that? How many veterans will take their own lives because of this isolation now? That’s a big reason we exist -- to keep them connected to make sure they don’t feel alone.”

Calls to veteran crisis hotline up 12 percent during COVID-19 outbreak, Wilkie tells VSOs
Here is the link

Isolated Veterans Need Help During COVID-19

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
March 14, 2020

The Coronavirus or COVID-19 is now in 49 states. It is wise for older people to isolate, since this hits us harder. Even worse if you have health issues. The problem with this is that older veterans face something most are not talking about and that is what isolation does to them.

Over all these years, the one thing experts keep stressing when dealing with PTSD, is that veterans get out with peers, join groups and spend time with others. We know that the majority of known cases of veteran suicides are still in the older veteran population. We also know that when they do spend time with other veterans, they help one another heal. Knowing you are not alone, is comforting and healing.

This is where you come in! If you know a veteran who has to isolate during this crisis, pick up the phone and call them. Do not just do it once, but spend a couple of minutes a day reaching out to them and you will change their whole day.

Remember a lot of older veterans are not online. The phone is their lifeline!

It will also give you an opportunity to know how their mood is. They may be passing off depression as nothing to worry about, and they may not even notice it themselves.

Offer to go to the store for them so they do not run out of supplies, especially toilet paper, which is insanely hard to find right now. If you cook or go out to eat, ask them if there is anything you can bring them. You do not even have to go into their house, and it may be wiser to not so that you do not expose them to whatever you were exposed to.

You'll be surprised how much little gestures of kindness can do to change the life of someone you care about!

If you are the isolated veteran, most of you are spending time watching TV. Stop watching news all day long. Stop watching war movies or with violence in them. Find comedies to lift your spirits. If you have hobbies, DO THEM! Keep busy and tackle projects you have put off.

TBI and PTSD aren't usually diagnosed until long after those other than honorable discharges are handed out

A new insult to veterans: Thousands are unlawfully being denied medical care | Vince Bzdek

The Gazette
Vince Bzdek
March 7, 2020

Just because a discharge is “other than honorable” doesn’t mean that a vet doesn't qualify for medical benefits, according to the VA’s own rules. But the new study by the Veterans Legal Clinic at Harvard Law School says the VA has unlawfully turned away thousands of veterans with other-than-honorable discharges because officials at the VA systematically misunderstood the law and didn’t review the vets’ applications properly.

A new study has discovered that the VA has unlawfully turned away thousands of veterans with other-than-honorable discharges because officials at the VA systematically misunderstood the law and didn’t review the vets’ applications properly. Associated Press file photo. Ted S. Warren

Veterans call it “bad paper.”

In a Pulitzer Prize-winning series of stories reported in 2013, The Gazette found that more soldiers than ever are receiving “bad paper”, which means they are receiving “other than honorable” discharges for some sort of misconduct ranging from drug use to insubordination.

The Gazette investigation, based on data obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, found that the annual number of misconduct discharges was up more than 25% Armywide since 2009. At the eight Army posts that house most of the service's combat units, including Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, misconduct discharges had surged 67%.

The Gazette discovered a Catch-22 about those discharges. Many “other than honorable” discharges stem from misconduct due to traumatic brain injuries received during service or to mental health issues caused by deployment. The problem is TBI and PTSD aren't usually diagnosed until long after those other than honorable discharges are handed out.
read it here

Female veteran with PTSD from sexual assault rejected 11 times for service dog!

Service dog helps military sexual assault survivor

News 5
By: Alexandra Koehn
February 23, 2020

"I received 11 rejection letters from programs across the country because my PTSD came from military sexual assault and not from combat. With every one of those rejection letters, it felt more and more crushing." Stefanie Marvin-Miller

MURFREESBORO, Tenn. (WTVF) — A military sexual assault survivor said a service dog has helped her heal from post traumatic stress disorder.

Stefanie Marvin-Miller was the first female in her family to serve our country, but that service led to a dark time in her life.

"In January of 2016, I was the victim of a violent sexual assault by another service member," Marvin-Miller said, "Military sexual assault, PTSD is very intense. It’s very real, and it’s valid. It’s a real problem."

Dealing with the impact of the traumatic event has been hard.

"It was a very difficult thing to do, and to speak up for, and say that happened," Marvin-Miller said, "For me specifically, it will be disassociating, so going back into a memory, and not feeling like I’m in the present anymore, or connected to the present."

She decided to apply for a service dog that would be capable of getting her to a safe place during an episode.

"I received 11 rejection letters from programs across the country because my PTSD came from military sexual assault and not from combat," Marvin-Miller said, "With every one of those rejection letters, it felt more and more crushing."
read it here