The pandemic turned the Golden Oldies years into the Golden Lonelies!

The pandemic turned the Golden Oldies years into the Golden Lonelies! The article on Spectrum news about seniors being hit by loneliness because of the pandemic hit me hard. For me, it was moving into a new state 4 months before the pandemic shut everything down. The new state was hard enough for an extrovert like me. I was planning on solving that problem by getting a part-time job since I was close to retirement age. Most of the friends I made over the years were with coworkers. The pandemic killed that idea. My husband and I are both high-risk, so, I decided to just wait it out and take early retirement.

Three years later, I haven't made any new friends. I thank God we have friends living not too far away that we've had for decades and our daughter is up here too, or I'd go completely insane. (Confession, I'm close enough to it now.)

During all this, I realized that some of the people I called "friends" turned out to be not interested in anything more than what politically motivated them. They refused to wear a mask or understand what COVID was doing to people. They refused to get vaccinated. Why? Because their political leaders were saying it was all a hoax. 

They were supposed to be "Christian" but apparently, anything that Jesus preached they should do, didn't matter anymore. Lying and hating was Okie Dokie with them. They turned against people they pretended to care about, leaving people like me, not just dealing with the pandemic, but dealing with the loss of trust in everyone.

I still wear a mask shopping because when too many people were not wearing them when there was a mask mandate, now I wonder what kind of germs they're running around with and not bothering to even cover their sneeze or mouth when they cough. Plus, I went for a checkup yesterday and they are still under mask mandates. 

I think all of this, caused me to see people in a way I don't like. I mean, not everyone is evil, selfish, despicable, or reprehensible, but there are a lot more than I ever thought there were. 

Now that my therapist got me passed grieving for the loss of my friend to COVID, we're working on getting me to want to be around people again. That will be great because it turns out, there are a lot more seniors like me not out there but are wanting to be. 

The thing that cracked me up a bit about the article was the woman they interviewed said she filled up her days with reading. I filled them up with writing books. If you have PTSD, there are lessons in this article for you too because part of PTSD is isolation. It's easy to lose trust in others when you have it and hard to gain it back but if you don't try, it will never come back to you. Your therapist can help with that. Last night we went out for dinner and I got to hug some people again!

Aging in Upstate: Film addresses isolation and loneliness in New York before pandemic hit

Spectrum
By Mark Goshgarian
Nov. 28, 2022

JAMESTOWN, N.Y. — "Reading. I did read," said Louise Wiggers, 77, of Findley Lake in Chautauqua County.

That's how she dealt with the isolation she felt during the pandemic. She even missed out on seeing her twin grandchildren in person for a year and a half.

"It was very difficult. And they changed a lot during that time, absolutely, they did. Yeah, it was hard. it was very, very difficult," said Louise.

Isolated, but not lonely, she lives with her husband of 55 years, Kent.

"So, we weren't seeing anyone, really. Even our neighbors because of our age and our being at risk," said Louise.

The two spent hours watching their favorite TV shows and movies on BritBox, not knowing day to day just how long they would have to stay cooped up.

"It was frustrating. And you know, I think I would say I was a little bit angry about all of that, too," said Louise.

Chautauqua County Office for the Aging recently hosted a screening at the Robert H. Jackson Center in Jamestown of the documentary "All the Lonely People," which chronicles a cross-section of adults sharing their experiences living in isolation.
read more here

Hadley's Half-Hanged Mary

The Witch of Hadley: Mary Webster, the Weird, and the Wired
The Massachusetts Review
Anna Smith
October 15, 2019

Mary Webster’s troubles started not long after what non-native historians typically refer to as Metacom’s (or King Philip’s) War—America’s most devastating civil war if judged in terms of deaths per capita. This conflict included an attack on Hadley in 1675, and it seems likely that the witchcraft scares were at least in part related to fears stemming from these conflicts. You don’t have to be a trauma expert to imagine that settlers in Massachusetts, just a decade later, might have still been a bit unhinged.

 

It is in Hutchinson’s history, written some years after the actual events, that we first hear of the hanging of Mary Webster. He writes that a group of “brisk lads” went to her house, hanged her till she was near death (did they believe she was dead?), then cut her down, rolled her into a snow bank, and left her there.

But Hutchinson ends on a cheerful note, “It happened that she survived and the melancholy man died.”

Apparently, she lived another eleven years and became known as “Half-Hanged Mary.” In 1985, Margaret Atwood dedicated her novel The Handmaid’s Tale to Mary Webster, her ancestor, and ten years later, wrote a poem to “Half-Hanged Mary.” The resurgent popularity of Atwood’s novel and its Hulu series, as well as the anticipation around the release of the novel’s sequel, tell us that this noxious strain in our collective consciousness is still in need of healing. We’re a long way from understanding everything about misogyny, groupthink, and terror.

If people already think you’re a witch, it’s hard to imagine what surviving a hanging would do for your reputation. I like to envision that first encounter with her neighbors. And yet, Judd tells us she “died in peace.”

 

You can watch her story here 

 

PTSD: Photography and filming became "like a lifeline."

If you have PTSD, no matter what caused it, it helps to know the differnt things that have helped others. What may work for someone you know, may not work for you. The only thing to take from that is, if it helped them, there is always something out there that can help you too!

Mental health therapy is for everyone. Some people need medication. Others don't. Some need different medications, so there are so many different ones.

Everyone also needs to take care of their "other parts" and yet again, there are many different things for you. Yoga, martial arts, walking, running, hiking, swimming, art, music, and yes, even photography. For me, it is writing.

I found this article from the BBC inspiring. I hope you do too.

PTSD: Photography helps police officer manage condition

BBC
By Helen Burchell
November 28, 2022

Photography and filming became "like a lifeline."

On Christmas Day 2017, a traffic police officer's life began slowly to unravel after he was injured during a pursuit. Two years later he underwent surgery and was told he could no longer do the job he loved. His mental health took a nosedive but he found solace in his long-time hobby - photography.

"As a traffic officer I saw things no-one should see," Det Sgt Colin Shead says.

"Now I see things I want everyone to see."

Here, he speaks candidly about his mental health, and shares some of the images that have helped him cope.

The 51-year-old officer has clocked up more than 30 years on the force, joining Essex Police's roads policing unit (RPU) in 2010.

"I'd always wanted to do traffic work, because I wanted to protect people from harm on the roads," he says. "When you start, there's the great thrill and excitement of flying around all over the place - then you get the serious side - and the fatalities.

"You're the first at the scene when someone's been killed - you see that first-hand and it takes its toll."
read more here

OK, confession, I found filming and photography healing too!

Ministers Of The Mystery Series, a time for you!

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 25, 2022

Ministers Of The Mystery is for anyone trying to heal Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. All the "people" in these books are recovering from different life-altering events. I believe the most important thing to take away from this series is simple, yet the empowering fact is, all of them healed with the support of someone else.

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'!"

Audrey Hepburn

MINISTERS OF THE MYSTERY
Series Description:
The Vision Awaits Prophecy: "The 13th Minister shall arise from the shadow of Proctor’s Ledge and demons will dread the sword of truth in the hands of the powerful scribe."

In modern-day Salem, The Master Ministers were preparing for the most powerful one of all would take his place as the 13th Minister. All they had to do was convince him to do it.

Ministers Of The Mystery Series explores the miraculous power within all of us to help one another achieve the purpose we were all sent here to fulfill.

Some churches say that no one can be a Christian and a witch at the same time. Are Christian witches, witches, or ministering spirits? “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.” 1 Corinthians 12:7. The churches point out the passages condemning witchcraft while ignoring the fact that in each case, those practicing witchcraft were accused of doing it for evil purposes. In all the other passages, someone using gifts of the spirit was accepted because they were using their gifts to help others. So are these Christian witches, really witches or are they ministering spirits empowered by God to do good in this world?

We know evil exists. The question is, why did God let it happen? Did God try to prevent the Salem Witchcraft Trials? Did He try to prevent the suffering of His servants here on earth? If you believe the Bible then you know that God does not create evil, but He does create miracles. What if Reverend George Burroughs was sent to Salem Village to prevent the trials but the people who were supposed to help him, turned against him?

What if there is someone on this earth today sent to help heal the world and prevent suffering but is receiving the help he needs to do what he was sent to do? What if everything is in place for it to all happen, but he decides to not do it? The Scribe of Salem is book one. The Visionary of Salem is book two. 13th Minister of Salem is book three.

If you have PTSD, you'll understand what it was like for Chris in his darkest days. You'll be able to feel the fear he has facing more changes. What I hope you also feel, is having friends come to help you heal, believing in you because they know you and care about you.

If you think God did it to you or didn't prevent it, you'll understand Chris.

“If you’re supposed to find her, trust that and you will.”

Chris shook his head. “You have no idea how strange that sounds to me right now. Up until you guys walked into the bar at 7:00, I would have told you what I thought about God,” he looked down, “that He’s a vindictive son of a bitch playing around with people’s lives and making us suffer for fun. Now I don’t know what to think.”

“You suffered for seven years, so ya, I get how you would feel that way. I did too for a while. The thing is, the explosion happened at 7:00 too, so maybe this time, He’s moving things around so you open your eyes to how wrong you were. Come on Bill is still waiting for us.”

Chris isn't a veteran. He was a reporter covering the war in Afghanistan when a bomb nearly killed him.

If you don't go to church, but believe in God, and even if you don't, you'll understand Chris and all of his friends. None of them go.

If you are a veteran, there are several you'll understand including Vietnam veterans and a female MP.

If you are a police officer, you'll understand one of the people in these books.

If you like books about Salem witches, you'll understand the master ministers of the mystery using the powers they were born with while forced to keep secrets.

If you are a Christian witch, feeling vilified by the "church" you'll understand these incredible people doing whatever they can to help heal others. After all, the one Chris needed to meet was called a witch too!

Read The Scribe Of Salem and let me know what you think. I value your opinion as much as I value your time reading my posts. Now that the three books are done, I'll have time to focus on this page again. To tell you the truth, I missed it, and you.

PTSD: Grateful Thanksgiving

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 24, 2022

The word Thanksgiving follows the word Happy. For many of us, we have forgotten what that word means from time to time. I know I did. This year started out with losing one of my best friends and struggling to rewrite my books. I ended up knowing I needed to go back into therapy to work through the grief.

I could have just dismissed it, because of all the other losses I've had in my life, but not honoring the loss of someone so dear to me, would have not been honoring what he meant to me. My therapist helped me work thru it and now I can remember him, think about him, remember the things he said, and find comfort in those memories. I'm not done with therapy yet because now we have to work on my inability to try to meet new people. I'm an extrovert, in case you haven't noticed that by now. That means being away from people is torture for me. Since we moved into our new home in New Hampshire 4 months before the pandemic hit, I'm having a hard time with it. Ok, honestly, working on these books has sucked up whatever free time I had. 

And all that brings me to this point in my life today. I am giving thanks for what I am grateful for, if not happy about. If you have PTSD, I bet that doesn't sound strange to you at all. I know for me, faith did not allow for the possibility that God could not have prevented it from happening. Once I got passed the fact I did survive, I began to wonder why. I was ok with that but when I wondered why He didn't prevent it, it ate away at my soul. Then I remembered how we all have free will and God doesn't mess with it.

We cannot control what others do to us, any more than we can control who does something for us. The only thing we can control is what we choose to do. I lived my life more about "doing for" than "doing to." Doing something to someone else brings no joy and whatever momentary gratification we may obtain, will leave us feeling empty. Knowing did something for someone because we could, fills us, even if we are the only ones to know we did anything at all.

― Francis Weller, The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief

Next week the books will be out on Amazon and I hope that this labor of love helps you find how much God put into creating you! For today, skip the "Happy" and just give thanks for what you do have to be grateful for!