Post-trauma days of living different lives as survivors,

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

December 4, 2021

If you listen to any news program, the chances are, you have no idea what is going on when it comes to PTSD. Until we do, finally, understand that while the causes of PTSD are different, what comes after in the Post-trauma days of living different lives as survivors, will remain the silent suffering of millions around the world.

Survivors had been suffering in silence long before I came along into this life. The issue that grieves me most of all, is the simple fact that none of it had to happen.

None of it will change until we actually manage to change the conversation we're having, and what we settle for the press continuing to ignore.

I read, what are considered to be, strange things all the time. It makes sense to me because as a survivor, I am strange to others, and I'm OK with that. What give me more comfort is the fact that when I read strange things, I find how much we as humans surviving life, are all linked together.

Reading "Front-line healthcare workers at risk of suffering from PTSD", on The Morning Star covered what is happening with healthcare workers facing the continued battle against the pandemic. They are expecting over 200,000 new cases of survivors dealing with PTSD. It shows what most experts know.

Professor Neil Greenberg, a PTSD specialist at the college, said: “It’s a common misunderstanding that only people in the armed forces can develop PTSD — anyone exposed to a traumatic event is at risk.

“However, clearly there are jobs, including working in many healthcare settings, where experiencing traumatic events is more common so the risk of developing PTSD is unfortunately much higher.”

“Early and effective support can reduce the likelihood of PTSD and those affected should be able to access evidence-based treatment in a timely manner,” Prof Greenberg added.

Yes, you read that right. It isn't just about people in the military. PTSD strikes survivors, no matter what they survived. The problem with the article is that it also strikes people going about their daily lives when something happened to them without warning, leaving them to wonder if it was such a good thing they survived it or not.

PTSD from occupations also hit all over the world. Keep in mind that these people are still facing life as the rest of us, and then their jobs are piled onto their shoulders taking care of the rest of us, and all too often, each other as well.

Here in the US, our healtcare providers are dealing with the same linked traumas. For providers with PTSD, the trauma of COVID-19 isn’t over by the Association of American Medical Colleges

Even before the pandemic, 16% of emergency physicians self-reported symptoms of PTSD. Recent data, including an unpublished survey conducted in the fall of 2020 and presented at the American Psychiatric Association’s annual meeting in May, suggest that as many as 36% of front-line physicians suffer from the condition. And that statistic omits those who don’t meet strict diagnostic criteria but have still experienced powerful psychological effects. “Health care workers had to worry about not having enough beds, not having enough ventilators. They had to move into fields they didn’t know,” says Jessica Gold, MD, a psychiatrist at Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis who treats physicians. “They saw their colleagues die or had to intubate their co-workers, and they had to worry about ending up that way themselves. Those are huge traumas.”

The article points out many differnt, important points, however, this one applies to everyone suffering as survivors of the causes of our traumas.

For providers suffering from PTSD and the hospitals that rely on them, what lies ahead is unclear. Once a person develops PTSD, it can last for years. More than a decade after the 9/11 World Trade Center attacks, 27% of police responders were still suffering symptoms, for example. But certain treatments, including anti-anxiety medication and cognitive behavioral therapy, have been shown to help. Bankhead-Kendall certainly finds her therapy useful. For one, she’s learned to cry more. “My counselor told me I needed to not keep things bottled up, and to grieve, so when I’m feeling really sad, I find an appropriate place and I cry,” she says. “It seems really simple, kind of silly, but it helps.”

It doesn't seem silly to me, or any of the other people out there getting the right kind of information about healing. We have to let out the pain before we can heal hope.

If you have PTSD, get  help to heal and then pass it on. If you read something in your favorite news source and they get something wrong, let them know what the truth is. If they get it right, praise them so they continue to be beneficial to other survivors.

Reach out to anyone, no matter what caused their PTSD and understand it is not a contest between who is suffering more, but is a quest to help them gain strength from your experiences. Be the miracle for others the way you had someone start yours!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD.

I MARRIED THE WAR

My mother married the Korean War. My mother-in-law married WWII. I married the Vietnam War. They fought the battles in combat, but we fought the battles they brought back with them. Chances are, if your reading this site, you did too. Maybe the one coming home was your wife, son, daughter or friend. You know what it's like when things are going fine, as much as you know what things are like when they are not so great.

When I got into all of this, no one was talking about what it was like. My parents kept it all a secret and so did my husband's parents. It was almost as if they felt they should be ashamed of something. I had to learn what it was all by myself and eventually, wrote For The Love Of Jack, His War/My Battle.

Today I received an email about a fabulous documentary, I Married The War, and happy to share this. The thing is, their service is a part of them. Combat is a part of them. When we marry them, that is included in the deal. When I watched some of the videos, I thought, wow, this is for the rest of us who fight their battles back home.

Official Trailer for I Married the War

We are thrilled to release our new Official Trailer for I Married the War. Created by our stellar Director of Photography, Bill Krumm, it offers an introduction to all eleven women, and clear insight into what the film is all about.

We couldn’t be more grateful to these women for their honest and candid interviews about their experience as wives of combat veterans. Even though less than 1% of our country’s population currently serves in the Armed Forces, we still have 5.5 million military caregivers living with veterans from WWII, the Korean War. the Vietnam War, Desert Storm, and OEF/OIF (the Middle East Wars).

It is our goal that I MARRIED THE WAR will help foster the national dialogue about supporting our veterans when they return home forever changed, and their families who are not prepared for that change when the war comes home with their loved ones.

PTSD Overgrown Harvest

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 27, 2021

When will people ever learn? When will the truth become unhidden? Until that day comes, millions around the country will continue to suffer in silence.

When people hear PTSD, they assume it is related to military service. After all, that is all they hear about.

The number of Veterans with PTSD varies by service era
Operations Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and Enduring Freedom (OEF): About 11-20 out of every 100 Veterans (or between 11-20%) who served in OIF or OEF have PTSD in a given year.
Gulf War (Desert Storm): About 12 out of every 100 Gulf War Veterans (or 12%) have PTSD in a given year.
Vietnam War: About 15 out of every 100 Vietnam Veterans (or 15%) were currently diagnosed with PTSD at the time of the most recent study in the late 1980s, the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study (NVVRS). It is estimated that about 30 out of every 100 (or 30%) of Vietnam Veterans have had PTSD in their lifetime.

When they hear about female veterans, they assume it has to be related to sexual trauma. After all, that is all they hear about.

Among Veterans who use VA health care, about:
23 out of 100 women (or 23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
55 out of 100 women (or 55%) and 38 out of 100 men (or 38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.

Facts about How Common PTSD Is
The following statistics are based on the U.S. population:
About 6 out of every 100 people (or 6% of the population) will have PTSD at some point in their lives.
About 15 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma.
About 8 of every 100 women (or 8%) develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with about 4 of every 100 men (or 4%).

Firefighters end up with PTSD too, but too few hear about them.

As the Florian's Knights full patch motorcycle club, the freedom felt on two wheels inspires North American firefighters to speak truth against the stigma of first responder mental health and outlaw biker culture.

Police officers, emergency responders, and every other human surviving the thing that caused PTSD, pay a price, but too few even know what we're dealing with. PTSD is not limited by age, or occupation. It only knows something terrible happened to survivors of whatever caused it to enter their lives.

The truth is, most groups are only helping veterans with PTSD. Some are doing a great job for the right reasons and have a team in place to take care of the needs of the veterans seeking them out. They are not the ones getting the most attention. The ones with the money to bankroll advertising get the attention. The good groups do the best they can with what support they receive.

When so many are suffering with PTSD, instead of healing as survivors of the cause of it, this harvest field is overgrown because there are not enough workers to tend to all of them.

The Workers Are Few
35 Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38 Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.” Matthew 9:35-37

And the field keeps growing far beyond what our eyes can see.

The front lines of mental health start in a person’s mind and body. Depending on the day, external stressors, resources or medication, that landscape gets smoother or rockier to navigate.

But it doesn’t end there.

The front lines shift and intersect in many environments: It can be a classroom or office, a hospital or church, a jail or shelter. Ultimately what begins as a personal experience ripples through a whole community, affecting not just the person experiencing mental health issues but their families, friends and neighbors.

And while we all have mental health (just like we have physical health), some live with mental illness, a wide range of conditions spanning mood disorders, addiction, PTSD and more. (The Seattle Times)

They can't keep up withthe need it Colorado.

DENVER (KDVR) — Mental health providers are noticing an increase in demand for services, far beyond what they experienced at the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic.

A recent survey from the National Council for Mental Wellbeing found 78% of behavioral health organizations reported seeing an increase in demand over the past three months. A majority said their waitlists are growing and nearly all respondents said they’re having trouble recruiting employees.

“We’re trying to see as many people as we can, but I don’t see it slowing down,” said Dr. Liz Chamberlain, a licensed psychologist at the CU Anschutz Health and Wellness Center.

Look up what is happening in your own state and see how overloaded the mental health system is in your own location.

Nothing will change until we change the conversation to include all humans trying to heal as survivors. We need to change the conversation we have with them, as much as we need to change the conversation we have with the lawmakers and reporters, or nothing will change. 

Thankful God Had Plan B

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 25, 2021

When I was five years old, I had a fractured skull, concussion and head trauma. Aside from everything else, it caused a speech problem. Kids being kids, I was made fun of and limited what I said out loud. When I got older, it was easier to write instead of speak. My pen was my voice.

In my senior year of high school, my English teacher said I was a natural born writer. I wrote a speech for a national competition and it won first place. The thing was, I had to have one of my classmates read it because when I got nervous, words didn't come out right. My typewriter was my voice.

In 1982 I was introduced to the term Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I fell in love with a Vietnam veteran. I had no way of knowing it at the time, but I had it too. My ex-husband tried to kill me and then stalked me for years. It helped me to understand what war did to my veteran. The more I learned, the more convinced I was that people needed to know about this. Writing was still my voice and I wrote to local newspapers.

In 1993, I got online and started to write about it on as many places as I could. My computer was my voice.

When I got older, a friend told me I missed my calling and should have become a preacher. The problem with that was, as a Greek Orthodox woman, that wasn't possible. I did not want to renounce my faith to join another church where my preaching would be welcomed. My computer was still my voice.

In 2002, I finished writing my first book on PTSD. For The Love Of Jack told our story and I wrote about the importance of our souls aiding in healing, I had to republish it in 2012.

My computer is still the voice I use most of all, but in today's world, it also because my way of speaking through videos.

One of the first videos I did was back in 2006. Coming Out Of The Dark. My video camera was my voice.

Why be afraid if you're not alone? Life is never easy, the rest is unknown. The song is by Gloria Estefan and the first time I heard it, all I could think about were the Vietnam veterans I spent so much time with including my husband. You are not alone fighting to heal PTSD just as you were not alone during combat.

All these later, almost forty of them, healing PTSD has used everything God planned for me as well as the pain others caused me.

This past summer, I was at a crossroad and not in a good way. After all these years, I had nothing new to say. I did the writing, research, created over 700 videos and had three books. I was depressed reading reports on PTSD and constantly seeing failure after failure, topped off with reporters never telling the whole story of the lives of survivors.

My faith in God was stronger than ever, but my faith in myself was at the lowest point in my life. I did what I usually do. I turned to God and prayed for a way to express what He taught me all these years. I wanted to give knowledge as much as I wanted to give hope.

God answered that prayer with The Lost Son.

Before I was done with this one, God delivered a second one to begin. Alive Again

Both book are like the Parable of The Lost Son because the main character was supposed to be a priest, but became a reporter. He walked away from God because he believed God walked away from him first. As with the lost son in the Bible, he went back to his Father and God rejoiced. He used Chris's talents and all the gifts he had to deliver messaged to the world that God still hears prayers and answers them through other people.

The stories involve veterans dealing with PTSD, but also everyone else trying to come to terms with being a survivor. I hope you find understanding and, above all else, hope that your life story is one that you determine and define. We are limited in what we can do but there are no limits on what God can do for us, and through us!

On this Thanksgiving Day, I am grateful for God's plan B for me! God gave me back my voice.

Perpetuating the stigma of PTSD on veterans, is insulting

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

November 23, 2021

How can anyone learn something from an article that omits the most glaring fact of all? Considering that millions of people in the US are hit by PTSD every year as civilians, then add in those who end up with it from their jobs, these are the facts.

Facts about How Common PTSD Is from the National Center For PTSD
The following statistics are based on the U.S. population:
About 6 out of every 100 people (or 6% of the population) will have PTSD at some point in their lives.
About 15 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma.
About 8 of every 100 women (or 8%) develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with about 4 of every 100 men (or 4%).
Learn more about women, trauma and PTSD.

There is a nice way of putting this, but frankly, this article does not deserve it!

OK, employers have no idea how many of their own employees they have with PTSD and I doubt that fact bothers any of them considering they have probably been doing great jobs and made friends. Considering how many American have it every year, that is inescapable. 

The next thing that stands out about this article is the "expert" never mentions that police officers and firefighters also get PTSD from their jobs and that includes folks who did not serve in the military. Head smack moments of the day continue on this one. The worst thing of all is this if on Employee Benefit News but apparently, they prefer to perpetuate the stigma of PTSD on veterans, while leaving the rest of the population out of it. 

As it is, I'm tired of some people thinking that we have anything to be ashamed of by the labels they want us to live with. We're survivors and that is the only label we should ever allow on our shoulders. The only thing that limits us is people getting in the way of our healing...like the following article!

This is how employers can help support their veteran population suffering from PTSD

Employee Benefit News
By Paola Peralta
November 22, 2021

Veterans in the workplace are suffering — and employers may have the tools to help, if they know what to look for.

Of the 11-20% of veterans who have been diagnosed with PTSD, only 9% of veterans surveyed by digital therapeutic service Freespira say they have fully recovered from PTSD and no longer have symptoms. But it’s not from a lack of trying: veterans listed transportation challenges and finding nearby providers with PTSD experience as the main barriers to accessing healthcare services.

And with veterans making up 7% of the American workforce, their mental health — and the overwhelming burden of it — could be a problem many employers must learn to solve, says Dr. Robert Cuyler, a licensed chief clinical officer at Freespira.

“There are a lot of veterans who are now in one way or another in first responder roles,” Dr. Cuyler says. “So if you look at police departments, fire departments and EMTs, they have an awful lot of people who have military backgrounds who may have full-fledged PTSD or subclinical PTSD from being exposed to recurrent trauma.”
read more here

First Responders Don't Get Help To Heal, After Helping US?

"If you get shot and you have PTSD it would be covered. But if you watch your best friend get shot, it's not." Ashley Wilson

That was the part that got me. Why is this still going on?

New legislation proposed to help provide mental health services to first responders struggling with PTSD

11Alive
Kaitlyn Ross
November 16, 2021

Under Georgia law there's not a way for a first responder to get help for PTSD unless they're also physically injured.

There's a new push to help first responders struggling with Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

From firefighters to police officers to dispatchers, currently, none of them are eligible for a worker's compensation claim to deal with a psychological injury unless they first have a physical injury to heal.

In an 11Alive exclusive, a metro Atlanta officer is leading the charge on a new proposed bill just filed that could change that. Ashley Wilson joined the police force at 24.

"I was excited. I was going to go out there and make a difference," she said.

She says she soon realized the cost of making that difference.

"I had absolutely no idea about the horrible things that people can do to each other. And unfortunately, I found out real quick," she said.

Wilson says the learning curve is steep for everyone all first responders, as soon as they answer their first call.

She knows a firefighter who was recently let go after admitting to his chain of command that he was struggling with the mental toll of the job.

"To me, I was just taken back that he was reaching out for help and he got fired," she said.
read more here

What does this tell everyone else with PTSD? It sends the wrong message because if they don't want to take care of the responders, showing up to the events that cause PTSD in the rest of us, then they don't care about us either! 

The fact is, not all survivors get PTSD but everyone with PTSD IS A SURVIVOR of what caused it and responders came to help us survive. It is time for all of us to help them heal!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

When will Canada take PTSD in firefighters seriously?

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 19, 2021

We are killing ourselves through suicide was the headline by Shannon Pennington ex IAFF Calgary, Executive Director, NAFFVN. It was something he wrote July 11, 2011 and I posted. I reposted it because of this newspaper article. Ontario plan to help first responders deal with PTSD. "Labour Minister Kevin Flynn says the stress and danger faced by police, firefighters and paramedics can have a lasting and serious effect not only on their physical health, but their mental health as well.Labour Minister Kevin Flynn says the stress and danger faced by police, firefighters and paramedics can have a lasting and serious effect not only on their physical health, but their mental health as well."

So why bring it up again? Because apparently not much has changed.

WARMINGTON: Even firefighters off with PTSD face unpaid leave and firing without jabs

The City of Toronto has told off-work firefighters with post-traumatic stress or other on-the-job injuries that until they are vaccinated, they are cut off from their worker’s compensation insurance payments. the Toronto Sun has learned.

For several firefighters, this was a “punch in the gut” they did not need.

“I went off on PTSD prior to the mandate,” said one. “I have been informed by the WSIB that the city contacted them to tell them they will not be paying me … This despite being diagnosed by a WSIB psychologist.”

Another firefighter said he’s been struggling ever since he wasn’t able to revive a patient.

“I wake up in a sweat every night,” said the firefighter.

This is when they are in need of compassion. Not cancellation. Firefighters who received this ultimatum to get vaccinated or not be able to feed their families say they were stunned by the correspondence on City of Toronto letterhead that has Acting Fire Chief and General Manager Jim Jessop’s name at the top and is CC’d to Payroll, Human Resources Consultant (Disability Management) at the bottom.
Read more on the Toronto Sun

Don't get me wrong here because I am all for getting vaccinated. I am looking forward to getting my third shot because of all the people out there who won't even get one, or wear a mask, or do anything else because they don't believe it. Forcing them to decide what they will do, is a no brainer. They have to pick one, like get vaccinated, wear a mask, stop acting like there is nothing to worry about, or get tested once a week on their dime. Forcing firefighters out of work because their jobs gave them PTSD is stupid! They can't work, so the rule should not apply to them. Are they trying to make it worse for them?

New Books To Help Churchless Children Of God Heal PTSD

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 17, 2021 

By the summer, it was getting more and more difficult to find anything new to say about #PTSD. After all, next year will be 40 years after I started. I was feeling pretty hopeless about helping anyone new, especially when the increase of people suffering showed no signs of going down. I mean, there is only so much a person can do. I needed a miracle to be able to say what needed to be said in a new way. 

The books I wrote are for other "churchless" children of God, like me. I don't go to church anymore, so I couldn't go into any kind of building, other than my own home. Considering that Jesus didn't have a church, early Christian prayed outside or in their own homes, I knew God could hear me no matter where I was, with them as examples. I prayed for a way to do it and put it into God's hands.

What came next was the story of The Lost Son based on the Parable.

The Parable of the Lost Son

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

When we survive the events that cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, no matter what caused it, we often turn away from God. When you live your life trying to do the right thing, for the right reason, and end up subjected to what happened, it is human nature to wonder why it happened to you. I know I did, each and every time. There were ten of them for me. The thing that made surviving them different for me, was while I lost faith in myself, I didn't lose it when it came to God.

That faith helped heal me but it did not mean I was totally resilient. I had a rare form of it that was linked to my ex-husband. I suffered for decades until I found out he passed away and couldn't hurt me anymore. The only thing I had to fear was the dark side trying to pull me back in and stop me from walking in the light of God's love.

As I said, I prayed for a new way to say something that wasn't new. I thought I'd be writing one book but God had other plans for me too and gave me two books to write at the same time. 

Having faith in God and Jesus, does not mean we have to be perfect. The Lost Son and Alive Again are written in the language we all use as adults. In other words, there is swearing going on. They involved adult situations, including drinking alcohol and using drugs to stop feeling anything. The list of causes covers most of them. By the end of both books, God's love won!

The Lost Son begins on September 13, 2019 and ends in 2020. Alive Again begins on September 13, 2021. The events are in Salem, MA and fictional town of Gabriel, New Hampshire. The number 13 plays an important part of both books but you'll have to read them to discover why that is.