Perpetuating the stigma of PTSD on veterans, is insulting

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

November 23, 2021

How can anyone learn something from an article that omits the most glaring fact of all? Considering that millions of people in the US are hit by PTSD every year as civilians, then add in those who end up with it from their jobs, these are the facts.

Facts about How Common PTSD Is from the National Center For PTSD
The following statistics are based on the U.S. population:
About 6 out of every 100 people (or 6% of the population) will have PTSD at some point in their lives.
About 15 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma.
About 8 of every 100 women (or 8%) develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with about 4 of every 100 men (or 4%).
Learn more about women, trauma and PTSD.

There is a nice way of putting this, but frankly, this article does not deserve it!

OK, employers have no idea how many of their own employees they have with PTSD and I doubt that fact bothers any of them considering they have probably been doing great jobs and made friends. Considering how many American have it every year, that is inescapable. 

The next thing that stands out about this article is the "expert" never mentions that police officers and firefighters also get PTSD from their jobs and that includes folks who did not serve in the military. Head smack moments of the day continue on this one. The worst thing of all is this if on Employee Benefit News but apparently, they prefer to perpetuate the stigma of PTSD on veterans, while leaving the rest of the population out of it. 

As it is, I'm tired of some people thinking that we have anything to be ashamed of by the labels they want us to live with. We're survivors and that is the only label we should ever allow on our shoulders. The only thing that limits us is people getting in the way of our healing...like the following article!

This is how employers can help support their veteran population suffering from PTSD

Employee Benefit News
By Paola Peralta
November 22, 2021

Veterans in the workplace are suffering — and employers may have the tools to help, if they know what to look for.

Of the 11-20% of veterans who have been diagnosed with PTSD, only 9% of veterans surveyed by digital therapeutic service Freespira say they have fully recovered from PTSD and no longer have symptoms. But it’s not from a lack of trying: veterans listed transportation challenges and finding nearby providers with PTSD experience as the main barriers to accessing healthcare services.

And with veterans making up 7% of the American workforce, their mental health — and the overwhelming burden of it — could be a problem many employers must learn to solve, says Dr. Robert Cuyler, a licensed chief clinical officer at Freespira.

“There are a lot of veterans who are now in one way or another in first responder roles,” Dr. Cuyler says. “So if you look at police departments, fire departments and EMTs, they have an awful lot of people who have military backgrounds who may have full-fledged PTSD or subclinical PTSD from being exposed to recurrent trauma.”
read more here

First Responders Don't Get Help To Heal, After Helping US?

"If you get shot and you have PTSD it would be covered. But if you watch your best friend get shot, it's not." Ashley Wilson

That was the part that got me. Why is this still going on?

New legislation proposed to help provide mental health services to first responders struggling with PTSD

11Alive
Kaitlyn Ross
November 16, 2021

Under Georgia law there's not a way for a first responder to get help for PTSD unless they're also physically injured.

There's a new push to help first responders struggling with Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

From firefighters to police officers to dispatchers, currently, none of them are eligible for a worker's compensation claim to deal with a psychological injury unless they first have a physical injury to heal.

In an 11Alive exclusive, a metro Atlanta officer is leading the charge on a new proposed bill just filed that could change that. Ashley Wilson joined the police force at 24.

"I was excited. I was going to go out there and make a difference," she said.

She says she soon realized the cost of making that difference.

"I had absolutely no idea about the horrible things that people can do to each other. And unfortunately, I found out real quick," she said.

Wilson says the learning curve is steep for everyone all first responders, as soon as they answer their first call.

She knows a firefighter who was recently let go after admitting to his chain of command that he was struggling with the mental toll of the job.

"To me, I was just taken back that he was reaching out for help and he got fired," she said.
read more here

What does this tell everyone else with PTSD? It sends the wrong message because if they don't want to take care of the responders, showing up to the events that cause PTSD in the rest of us, then they don't care about us either! 

The fact is, not all survivors get PTSD but everyone with PTSD IS A SURVIVOR of what caused it and responders came to help us survive. It is time for all of us to help them heal!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

New Books To Help Churchless Children Of God Heal PTSD

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 17, 2021 

By the summer, it was getting more and more difficult to find anything new to say about #PTSD. After all, next year will be 40 years after I started. I was feeling pretty hopeless about helping anyone new, especially when the increase of people suffering showed no signs of going down. I mean, there is only so much a person can do. I needed a miracle to be able to say what needed to be said in a new way. 

The books I wrote are for other "churchless" children of God, like me. I don't go to church anymore, so I couldn't go into any kind of building, other than my own home. Considering that Jesus didn't have a church, early Christian prayed outside or in their own homes, I knew God could hear me no matter where I was, with them as examples. I prayed for a way to do it and put it into God's hands.

What came next was the story of The Lost Son based on the Parable.

The Parable of the Lost Son

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.
13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’
31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

When we survive the events that cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, no matter what caused it, we often turn away from God. When you live your life trying to do the right thing, for the right reason, and end up subjected to what happened, it is human nature to wonder why it happened to you. I know I did, each and every time. There were ten of them for me. The thing that made surviving them different for me, was while I lost faith in myself, I didn't lose it when it came to God.

That faith helped heal me but it did not mean I was totally resilient. I had a rare form of it that was linked to my ex-husband. I suffered for decades until I found out he passed away and couldn't hurt me anymore. The only thing I had to fear was the dark side trying to pull me back in and stop me from walking in the light of God's love.

As I said, I prayed for a new way to say something that wasn't new. I thought I'd be writing one book but God had other plans for me too and gave me two books to write at the same time. 

Having faith in God and Jesus, does not mean we have to be perfect. The Lost Son and Alive Again are written in the language we all use as adults. In other words, there is swearing going on. They involved adult situations, including drinking alcohol and using drugs to stop feeling anything. The list of causes covers most of them. By the end of both books, God's love won!

The Lost Son begins on September 13, 2019 and ends in 2020. Alive Again begins on September 13, 2021. The events are in Salem, MA and fictional town of Gabriel, New Hampshire. The number 13 plays an important part of both books but you'll have to read them to discover why that is. 

God still answers prayers, and people deliver His miracles!

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
November 15, 2021

Two new books are up on Amazon! As hard as it was to write two at the same time, it is a lot harder for far too many people with #PTSD.  We all see to focus on just veterans when that is the subject, but that is only because reporters never focus on the survivors of the events they cover. I thought it was time for someone to tell the stories of the rest of us. I also thought it was time to let people know that they can put their darkest days behind them and start walking in the light of God's love. After all, He didn't send harm our way, people did. Other people do what He asks them to do and they come to help us heal.

Think about whatever caused your PTSD and then think about the people who came to help you survive it. That is how it works when you are trying to survive surviving itself. There are people out there who will help you heal and live a happier life. Most of the time, they only thing they want back from you, is for you to pass it on to someone else in need.

I hope with these two books, you'll see that God still answers prayers, and people deliver His miracles!

 THE LOST SON

The scars on his body were reminders of what he survived but the scars in his soul were reminders of why he didn’t want to anymore. The condo in LA with his office covered with awards, was no longer his and he was living in a studio apartment back in Salem Massachusetts. His marriage ended when his ex-wife tried to kill him and then stalked him. All his friends were out of his life except his favorite bartender at a local bar.
Chris thought everyone he knew burned down the bridges between them and him. He couldn’t see he was the one with all the matches and his friends were trying to find the firehose. He was right about one thing. Seven years was too long for him to be suffering instead of healing, but God had other plans for him. That night, Chris was sent on a mission to save himself and millions of others when he discovered a secretive society changing the world one soul at a time.

ALIVE AGAIN

Chris spent the last two years walking in the light and did not want to go back into the darkness he had been in for seven years. He learned to secret to healing PTSD was to see beyond the pain others caused, and finally see what miracles bring to survivors. God agreed Chris should stop suffering and start to change the world. As a reporter covering the worst that people do, he used his skills and experience to report on what people do after reporters move onto the next story. As a best selling author, he proved people want God to get as much attention as Satan does.

Who knows PTSD better than veterans?

Wounded Times

Kathie Costos

November 11, 2021

The Lost Son is live today and I couldn't think of a better day to do this, because it is Veterans Day!

Who knows PTSD better than veterans? Three veterans saved the main character's life. He was just a reporter, doing his job covering the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. His best friend Bill Gibson. joined the Army right out of high school while Chris Papadopoulos went to college to study journalism. 

After September 11, 2001, he did everything possible to be assigned to where Bill was deployed. Bill's buddy, David Mac Donald was side by side with Bill during every deployment too. The other veteran who knew what PTSD did, was a Vietnam veteran. The three of them, along with others joined forces to not just save Chris, but went on to change the way people look at PTSD. no matte what the caused it.

Seven years after a bomb blast in Afghanistan nearly ended Chris's life, he was still wishing it had finished the job instead of beginning an endless cycle of suffering. First came the scars on his body Then came the scars in his soul. His marriage to Bill's sister ended when she started to abuse him, and then tried to kill him. His career ended because he was getting more and more miserable because he wasn't able to do his job anymore. He drank more and ended up moving back to Salem Massachusetts from LA, no longer reporting for a major news paper, he was reduced to writing greeting cards.

The only friend he thought he had left was his bartender, Ed Hamilton.

On September 13, 2019, seven years after the blast, he was fighting with himself and wanted to just give up. He went back to the bar to say good-by to Ed and then miracles started walking back into his life. In thirteen days, he went from wanting to end his own life, to giving hope to millions around the world by letting them know miracles not only still happen, but they happen when we least expect them to.

If you are interested in a print copy of this, I'm working on it but it took all day to get this up. It will be coming soon. It will also be followed up by Alive Again, the second part to this. I hope they give you hope and a better understanding of how your lives can change for the better.

Looking for advice on PTSD book

I haven't been on my sites for a while because I am finishing up two books on PTSD. The Lost Son is done. The second one, Alive Again is almost done. If you think about the prodigal son, then you'll understand the premise.

Luke 15:31-32

“‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

About six months ago, I was praying to be able to write a book that could help people see God through different eyes and know that miracles do still happen, when people listen. God answered and the Lost Son was done faster than anything I had ever written before. The second one started while I was waiting for it to be edited, and I didn't even pray for this one. I had no plans to write a sequel, but it came out better than the first one,

One of my goals was to cover the causes of PTSD in everyone, not being talked about because everyone only seems interested in veterans. I wanted to include them because I've been working on PTSD since 1982 because of them. I also wanted to include people like me. I survived over ten events but I never see stories like mine in the news.

There's a lot we don't read in the news, so the main character is a reporter who didn't need to know what came after the headlines were written. He became a headline story but what came afterwards was not publicly known, until he told his own story.

The goal is to put both books out as paperback, Kindle and audio. I've been searching online for ways to do all three, but there are so many options, it is hard to decide what to do with these. I've been praying on it but, since I get confused and mess up, like with my first three books, I don't want to mess up on God this time since, He wrote most of these. If you don't know me, then you need to understand that I do have an ego, so for me to admit there is no way I could have come up with this on my own, it's really hard for me to admit that.

So, since most of you have been reading this site for years, what should I do with them? 

Should I find an agent? If so, then which one?

There are way too many online. It is fiction, spiritual, but written for people who do not go to church. In other words, with they way most of us talk. Its about suffering and miracles but is also a mystery/suspense.

Should I use a small publisher who is taking submission without agents? If so, which one?

Should I self publish on Amazon again?

Should I raise funds on Kickstarter, print and distribute them myself?

Any ideas are a blessing. Please give me some advice in the comment section and end this confusion for me!

PTSD Ball Of Confusion

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
September 25, 2021

When you trust someone and discover they lied to you, it sucks! If they lied that time, you wonder how many other times did they lie to you. Then you wonder about everyone else you believed. While it is hard to get away from them and never have anything to do with them again, it is not impossible.

What if you lied to yourself? You tell yourself things all the time that are not true but you convince yourself otherwise. What do you do when you discover you should not have trusted you? You wonder what else you lied to yourself about. It isn't as if you can cut yourself out of your life. What do you do?

You forgive yourself by figuring out why you believed the lie in the first place. Most of us don't make things up in our own heads. We hear lies from someone else, who, very well may have been, told it and believed it as easily as you believed them.

Then you figure out if you only believed it because you wanted to. If it supports what you already thought, then it was something you wanted to hear.

We see that all the time when the topic is PTSD. When you hear someone has PTSD, maybe you think they are weak, and then believe the lie supporting that thought. What does that lie do to you when you survive something and discover you have PTSD?

The people who berate survivors the most are usually in denial about their own suffering. The truth is, someone told them that lie in the first place, and they wanted to believe it.

This is from The Department of Veterans Affairs

The number of Veterans with PTSD varies by service era:

Operations Iraqi Freedom (OIF) and Enduring Freedom (OEF): About 11-20 out of every 100 Veterans (or between 11-20%) who served in OIF or OEF have PTSD in a given year.
Gulf War (Desert Storm): About 12 out of every 100 Gulf War Veterans (or 12%) have PTSD in a given year.
Vietnam War: About 15 out of every 100 Vietnam Veterans (or 15%) were currently diagnosed with PTSD at the time of the most recent study in the late 1980s, the National Vietnam Veterans Readjustment Study (NVVRS).
It is estimated that about 30 out of every 100 (or 30%) of Vietnam Veterans have had PTSD in their lifetime.

Other factors in a combat situation can add more stress to an already stressful situation. This may contribute to PTSD and other mental health problems. These factors include what you do in the war, the politics around the war, where the war is fought, and the type of enemy you face.
Another cause of PTSD in the military can be military sexual trauma (MST). This is any sexual harassment or sexual assault that occurs while you are in the military. MST can happen to both men and women and can occur during peacetime, training, or war.
Among Veterans who use VA health care, about:

23 out of 100 women (or 23%) reported sexual assault when in the military.
55 out of 100 women (or 55%) and 38 out of 100 men (or 38%) have experienced sexual harassment when in the military.

There are many more male Veterans than there are female Veterans. So, even though military sexual trauma is more common in women Veterans, over half of all Veterans with military sexual trauma are men.

Now think about all the people in the US with PTSD. 

• About 15 million adults have PTSD during a given year. This is only a small portion of those who have gone through a trauma.

Stop lying to yourself and start forgiving yourself for the lies you believed about yourself! People lied to you but it is not too late to tell yourself the simple truth. There is nothing weak about being a survivor. There is nothing holding you back from healing other than what you allow to hold power over you.

No one will understand what surviving did to you unless they survived something that could have killed them. Look at the people around you and then understand it is not easy for them to understand you, even though they love you and care about you. They don't understand what caused changes in you anymore than they can understand that you need help to heal. This is why support groups work! You get the support and information you need to heal and then have the confidence to explain it to people in your life.

The only way to get there from where you're at is, tell yourself the truth about what it is and then tell yourself the truth that you are not stuck suffering. The road to healing is waiting for you and has been cleared by all the others who decided to end the ball of confusion. #BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Temptations Ball Of Confusion

Firefighter was told after 9-11 stop watching videos of it

Nearly 2 decades after 9/11, a former firefighter sees the NYC memorial for the first time
Pennsylvania State Capital Bureau
Candy Woodall
September 7, 2021

He told a fire department counselor he was having trouble sleeping. When he did, he had nightmares about anger and fighting. He complained of irritability, of an inability to calm down or take pleasure in anything. He couldn't remember certain things he witnessed at Ground Zero.

Her advice, according to court records: Stop watching 9/11 videos. She did not refer him for further treatment; she also said that, after 9/11, the fire department counseling staff was overwhelmed with work and seeing hundreds of employees.

Michael Silvestri dipped his fingers into the flowing water and made the sign of the cross, from his forehead to his broken heart.

The waters here, in the South Pool of New York City's 9/11 Memorial, are like holy water, he said.

"It's sacred. It's their graves," Silvestri said.

His cross was also a silent prayer for the strength he needed to stand at this memorial for the first time.

Faith had helped Silvestri, now 59, get this far.

The former firefighter survived 9/11 two decades ago, but he's been fighting for his life ever since.

Silvestri moved to Lehigh County, Pennsylvania, more than a decade ago to get away from all the reminders on Staten Island. He was haunted by painful memories, undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder and the survivor's guilt that devoured him alive. It culminated in 10 seconds of rage 16 months after 9/11 that nearly cost him everything, followed by years of the slow path toward healing, the hard work of turning survival to rebirth.
read more here

update from Wounded Times

I am currently on hiatus because I am working on my 4th book. Last week I got on a roll and now added over 20,000 words to it! I will update when I can.

 

time for healing awareness that saves lives

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
June 24, 2021

There seems to be a lot of confusion out there about what faith is in America is now. This shows in the drop of people attending buildings of worship and the rise in suicides.

Why is focusing on the spiritual needs of people with PTSD is important? PTSD hits the emotional part of our brains. That is where our souls live.

Considering how many groups popped up all over the country because of the report from the Department of Veterans Affairs about veterans committing suicide, the fact that more Americans commit suicide without much attention at all.

A lot of them had PTSD but did not find the hope and help they needed to heal. We know this by all the reports of military, veterans and first responders with PTSD committing suicide. What we are not reminded of as often, is how many civilians give up too.

Suicide is a Leading Cause of Death in the United States
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) WISQARS Leading Causes of Death Reports, in 2019:

Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of over 47,500 people.
Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 44.
There were nearly two and a half times as many suicides (47,511) in the United States as there were homicides (19,141).

That was the last report they have listed. Right now no one is sure how many with all the turmoil this country has gone through over the last couple of years, but one thing is clear, there is only one reason people commit suicide. They lost hope that life could get better. Losing the ability to believe in that, even just for a little while, takes away hope.

If they cannot find hope that the next day can be better, and no one gives it to them, it is a battle they lose. This is why suicide awareness does not work. It robs them of hope, putting a spotlight on all those who gave up on their own lives...and everyone else.

Less than half of Americans attend worship service now according to Gallop

People leave the building when they do not find what they need inside of it. Usually there are many reasons but the basic one is, they had a problem big enough they felt drained instead of filled as they walked out the door.

People also confuse the building with God Himself. They tend to believe that God wants nothing to do with them, or turned away from them, and they abandon that relationship entirely. Once that link to what they believe in has been severed, a piece of them is empty.

read more here

why I always do the videos from my garage

From PTSD Patrol

(Today's video is a long one to explain it to people who discover this on the new site. You may learn something too.)

You can read the post here on PTSDPatrol blog.

The best way to heal is to open up

The best way to heal is to open up
Jesse had a difficult time adjusting to civilian life after deployment. He used drugs and alcohol to try to forget his experiences in Iraq. He eventually reached out for help at VA, where he received therapy and connected with other Veterans. Now Jesse’s a Peer Support Specialist and encourages fellow Veterans to reach out for help.

If you have not been in Make The Connection from the VA...you are missing a lot!

Wounded Times Reached 5 Million!

STUNNING NEWS!

THANK YOU!

As long as I have faith that more of you can heal....there is plenty to do!

If I Ever Lose My Faith in You

Disturbed

You could say I lost my faith in science and progress

You could say I lost my belief in religion

And you could say I lost my sense of direction

You could say all of this and worse but

If I ever lose my faith in you (in you)

There'd be nothing left for me to do (to do)

Someone say I was a lost man in a lost world

You can say I lost my faith in the people on TV

You can say I'd lost my belief in our politicians

They all seemed like game show hosts to me, but

If I ever lose my faith in you (if I ever lose my faith)

There'd be nothing left for me to do

(If I ever lose my faith)

Lose my faith in you (in you)

I could be lost inside their lies without a trace (without a trace)

But every time I close my eyes, I see your face (face)

I never saw no miracle of science

That didn't go from a blessing to a curse (curse)

I never saw no military solution that didn't end up worse

If I ever lose my faith in you

If I ever lose my faith in you

(If I ever lose my faith in you)

There'd be nothing left for me to do

(There'd be nothing left for me to do)

If I ever lose my faith (lose my faith)

If I ever lose my faith (lose my faith)

If I ever lose my faith (lose my faith)

If I ever lose my faith (lose my faith)

If I ever lose my faith (lose my faith)

In you, in you

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Gordon Summer

Remember the veterans who fought so you could heal #PTSD

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 30, 2021

Every Memorial Day, I cry more than most people. Almost everyone thinks about the lives lost during wars, but few think about all those who died because of the wars they fought. It also grieves me that most Americans fighting their own battles with PTSD, have no clue that the help they receive, was created because Vietnam Veterans came home and fought for all of it.

While I got involved almost forty years ago, the Afghanistan and Iraq veterans ended up getting all the attention because their generation was coming home, suffering, and committing suicide. The problem was, the majority of the veteran suicides known, were mostly over the age of fifty. In other words, pre-9 11 veterans, but few seemed to care.

In 2015 I did a video with Mike and the Mechanics song The Living Years. Vietnam Veterans Remembered was to let them know that someone was paying attention to what was still happening to them.

When I lived in Florida, I always recorded the escort of the Wall going into Wickham Park. I used that footage along with images from Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan because of the lyrics of the song. Too many forget that war they fought and too many do not know they are still fighting it.

"So we open up a quarrel Between the present and the past"

No Vietnam veteran wants to take away from the newer generations. They took a vow to fight for all generations. The thing is, they don't want to be pushed aside. It should never be one generation being helped while sacrificing the other generations.

Once in a while I go back through some old emails. This is from 2006 about the book I wrote, For The Love Of Jack. I wrote it about our generation before 2001 and then self published it to help the newer generation that would follow them, and their families. That is something I learned from them...to fight for all generations.

Thank you so much for sharing your pain and story, You have helped me with my family and you dont even know it....As I read your story I was sitting there realising that you were talking about me in so many ways...the way I had become and the way I was headed. And Yes I am a combat Vet, from a long line of vets.......if I could just find out why there is no answers...........But I wanted to say thank you.......

Let the images sink in on this video because the pictures from Afghanistan and Iraq were the only ones people seemed to care about, but the older generations waited longer, suffered longer and still fought for the newer generation so that they would not end up like them.

The thing is, my generation is still fighting so that the newer generation does not have to suffer instead of healing the wounds they carried for far too long. We are retiring and dying off but doing all we can "in the living years."

When Vietnam veterans came home and fought for all the research on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, they were concentrating on what happens to those who fight the wars for this country. They had no clue that their efforts would end up helping everyone with PTSD. If you have PTSD and are getting help to heal, and you see a Vietnam veteran, say "thank you" to them because you have the hope of healing because of them.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

The Living Years

Song by Mike + The Mechanics

Every generation

Blames the one before

And all of their frustrations

Come beating on your door

I know that I'm a prisoner

To all my Father held so dear

I know that I'm a hostage

To all his hopes and fears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Oh, crumpled bits of paper

Filled with imperfect thought

Stilted conversations

I'm afraid that's all we've got

You say you just don't see it

He says it's perfect sense

You just can't get agreement

In this present tense

We all talk a different language

Talking in defence

Say it loud (say it loud), say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So we open up a quarrel

Between the present and the past

We only sacrifice the future

It's the bitterness that lasts

So don't yield to the fortunes

You sometimes see as fate

It may have a new perspective

On a different day

And if you don't give up, and don't give in

You may just be okay

So say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

Because it's too late, it's too late (it's too late) when we die (oh when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

I wasn't there that morning

When my Father passed away

I didn't get to tell him

All the things I had to say

I think I caught his spirit

Later that same year

I'm sure I heard his echo

In my baby's new born tears

I just wish I could have told him in the living years

Say it loud, say it clear (oh say it clear)

You can listen as well as you hear

It's too late (it's too late) when we die (it's too late when we die)

To admit we don't see eye to eye

So say it, say it, say it loud (say it loud)

Say it clear (come on say it clear)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: B.A. Robertson / Mike Rutherford (gb)

The Living Years lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Concord Music Publishing LLC

Disturbed understands what that pain is like

Heads up on this. If you watch the video from Disturbed, and someone pops into your mind, then send them the link to it. I means they are the one who needed to see this.

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 13, 2021

I used the song by Disturbed, A Reason To Fight, not too long ago. I saw this video when I was putting up today's video for PTSD Patrol. It is too powerful and when I watched it, I knew it couldn't wait for another day. Someone needs to see it today and I hope it helps! For everyone else, just consider this a bonus video for the day.

Disturbed understands what that pain is like.

A Reason to Fight

Disturbed

The image in your eyes

Reflecting the pain that has taken you

I hear it in your voice, so ridden with shame

From what's hailing you

I won't give up so don't give in

You've fallen down but you can rise again

So don't give up

When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin

And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight

Lost in your world of lies

I find it so hard to believe in you

Can it be real this time?

Or just a part of this game that we're playing through

I won't give up so don't give in

You've fallen down but you will rise again

I won't give up

When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin

And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight

Don't let it take your soul

Look at me take control

When knowing to fight this war

This is nothing worth dying for

Are you ready to begin?

This is a battle that we are gonna win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason

When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin

And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight

I'll be your reason to fight

Give you a reason to fight

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dan J Donegan / David Michael Draiman / Kevin Gregory Churko / Michael Wengren

A Reason to Fight lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. 

Open Library has the copy of the illegal For The Love Of Jack

Open Library has the copy of the illegal For The Love Of Jack book that was stolen from me back in 2005~

Top that off with what they have written under the top section that has nothing to do with this book! I own the copyright on this!

This is the book that the publisher stole, would not pay me for and would not remove. They would not take any responsibility for any of this and all these years later, I am still seeing it show up all over the net!

Do not buy this book or read it if it has this blue cover.  This is the legal one I had to republish on Amazon!

UPDATE from PTSD Patrol
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 6, 2021

Cross posted on Wounded Times

No matter how many times people walked away from you, one day someone will help you. One day someone will show you the way and stand by your side until you get to where you need to be. Then you will become that "someone" for someone else. Don't give up. Don't give in. Fight like hell because you are worth it!

If you were not, then I wouldn't have been doing this work for almost 40 years with all the crap I have to go through to do the right thing. No matter what I faced, you were worth it!

Today there almost wasn't a video. I didn't have it in me to do one. I was actually online looking for something for myself. I discovered my work stolen again. It happens to me all the time and I am powerless to stop them from doing it. Sometimes they will put my name on it, other times they won't but for some reason they think they can just take it without my knowledge or permission.

I found the video that put into words exactly what I was feeling and it helped. It is from Five Finger Death Punch, Darkness Settles In. When I heard these lines, I cried. The thing is, it just got uploaded 15 hours ago!

It's like I'm holding all the aces

But I know I'll never win

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

The people I know who would help me, cannot help me on this. The ones who can help, I reach out to but they are not interested in helping me at all. The thing is, I am on the right side of this, doing the work for the right reasons and nothing is going to stop me. Screw the bastards. I know one day will come and they will be seen for who and what they truly are. I may not be alive to see it but I know I have the power over what I do and no one can take that way.

If you have PTSD then you know what it is like to tell death "screw you" and you lived because your life was worth it to you. You had no control over what happened but have the power to change what comes now. I'll be damned if I let the darkness settle in on my life. Don't let it settle in on your life either.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Darkness Settles In

Five Finger Death Punch 

Another sun sets down behind me

Another day comes crashing in

There's a whispering wind that's blowing

There's a storm that's closing in

I can hear the trains, they're rolling

To a place I've never been

And I can feel her breath beside me

With an empty glass of gin

As the darkness settles in

I can hear her voice again

I can hear your voice again

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

Waiting for someone to change me

But no one ever comes

I'm breaking down the walls that cage me

But nothing ever falls in place

Waiting for the end to take me

Blinded by the sun

All the ghosts that live inside me

Always waiting in the wind

I can see through my reflection

What I've become and what I've been

You see, your Heaven doesn't want me

And your Hell won't let me in

It's like I'm holding all the aces

But I know I'll never win

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

Waiting for someone to change me

But no one ever comes

I'm breaking down the walls that cage me

But nothing ever falls in place

Waiting for the end to take me

Blinded by the sun

You can take it away, tear it all down

Spit in my face, pushed to the ground

Look what I've become

I've fallen from grace, bloodied and bound

Taking up space, lost and I'm found

Look what I've become

I can hear the snakes, they're winding

Singing songs of pain and sin

There's an anger overflowing

From this empty glass of gin

As the darkness settles in

And the darkness settles in

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

Waiting for someone to change me

But no one ever comes

I'm breaking down the walls that cage me

But nothing ever falls in place

Waiting for the end to take me

Blinded by the sun

And the darkness settles in

(You can take it away)

And the darkness settles in

(You can take it away)

As the darkness settles in

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Ivan Moody / Zoltan Bathory / Kevin Churko / Jason Hook

Darkness Settles In lyrics © Gumpofwump 

Legacy of healing PTSD from my Dad

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 22, 2021

When I think about my Dad, I often wonder how he'd feel if he knew what he started back in 1982. All these later, the number of lives changed because he served in Korea and he never knew about them. I am a living legacy to him and his life.

About a week ago, I received a strange message on Facebook from a man claiming to have pictures of my Dad in Korea. He wrote things that had to be true, so I called him. His Dad served with mine. The twist to the story is that his Dad probably never knew he had a son born in Korea. Yesterday he sent me pictures I had never seen before and I thought about my Dad a lot more than usual.

My Mom and oldest brother went to stay with him when he was in Japan.

We were a normal family. Both of my brothers were born on Army bases. He was a Staff Sergeant. He left the Army before I was born but I was a typical Army brat. I also grew up with uncles who served in WWII. That was all normal to me. I didn't discover it was not usual to have a family full of veterans, or that having living room furniture from Japan was odd, until I was older.

When I met my current husband, I was already divorced and only 23. The night he met my husband, he said, "He seems like a really nice guy but he's got shell shock." My husband is a Vietnam veteran. I had no idea what he was talking about and when I asked him to explain it, he told me to go to the library because war changes people.

I spent all my free time at the library with clinical books and a dictionary, learning as much as I could. The more I learned, the more I fell in love. Not just with the man I would end up marrying, but loved my Dad more and all veterans. Now they call it PTSD.

My Dad started what turned out to be my life's work. Thousands of articles, books, videos, several websites and more, all started because of my Dad's life in the Army. Over the years, I've had many messages thanking me for what I do and to pass appreciation on to my husband for his service. I just wanted you to know, that had it not been for my Dad, I don't think any of this would have started.

This is why today the featured video is, Dan Fogelberg, The Leader Of The Band.

If you've sent me emails thanking me for what I do, and thanking my husband for his service, I wanted you to know that none of this would have happened if my Dad didn't understand what he saw in my husband. It is a good reminder that we never know how much we do change the world when we are willing to do what we can, when we can, when we are willing to try.

read more on PTSD Patrol

People who do not fit in are the ones who change the world

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 28, 2021

I don't fit in anywhere. I never did. When I was young, it didn't matter to me at all. I just wanted to be myself. When I got older, I wanted to fit in but I still wanted to be me. When I got a lot older, I didn't care if I fit in again. That is not always a bad thing. 

People who do not fit in are the ones who change the world. If everyone thought the same, settled for the way things were, then nothing would ever change. They are the creators of change. The dreamers, poets and writers, artist, musicians, scientists and misfits create things that were never done before.

If you have PTSD, then you may not really fit in with people who never survived anything like you did. It is OK. You do fit in with others who are trying to heal, but you can also do something different because you know things have to change to make lives better.

Today is Palm Sunday for most Christians, but not Greeks like me. It is the day Jesus road in on the donkey and the people shouted "hosanna" as he went by them. In other words, they wanted this One who did not "fit in" to save them. Jesus did not fit in with the other Hebrews and came to change the world. It is why today the featured video is Sanctus Real, Forgiven.

Part of the lyrics is about not fitting in. 

And I don't have to carry the weight of who I've been

'Cause I'm forgiven

When I don't fit in

And I don't feel like I belong anywhere

When I don't measure up to much in this life

Oh, I'm a treasure in the arms of Christ

'Cause I'm forgiven

The rest of the world may tell you that you should hold onto anger and blaming others. It tells you to hate those who hurt you or didn't care what happened to you. The world tells you a lot of things but deep inside, it is destroying you. It is taking room in your soul where goodness belongs. Where hope should be and where dreams begin. Don't let all that negative stuff take up that much room in you.

Isn't it time to be "you" with all your flaws and gifts? Isn't it time for you to do more than settle for what "is" because people are telling you that you should, or far worse, tell you to just get over it? Be a misfit and then show others how to be happier being them!

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

As I said, not fitting in, is not always a bad thing.

read more here

Does the person in your life know you love them?

PTSD Patrol and Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
March 25, 2021

Does the person in your life know you love them? If you have PTSD and you are not talking to them about what is going on with you, then they will think you just don't love them anymore. Today the featured video is Bonnie Raitt, I Can't Make You Love Me because there have been too many conversations from women giving up on their marriages and relationships with veterans.

This can apply to husbands, because we also have to face the fact that there are female veterans too. It can apply to anyone with PTSD in a relationship because you are leaving them to believe you don't love them anymore. What other choice can they make if you won't tell them why you changed?

They can only base what they feel on how you treat them, how you act toward them and how you talk to them. It sucks!

You may be destroying a relationship that is strong enough to last the rest of your life because you won't talk to them or even try to get them to know what is in your heart.

"You can't make your heart feel something it won't," is what they think. I know because I almost gave up on my marriage. I remember driving and this song came on the radio. I'd cry hard enough I had to pull over until I could see better and wiped the tears from my face. I had no way of knowing if there was any love left or not, even though I knew what PTSD was.

What made it harder for me was dealing with what my ex-husband did when he tried to kill me, proving my life didn't matter to him, even though he said the words out of his mouth. My second husband and I have been married for over 36 years now and because he started to make the effort to trust me enough to talk about Vietnam, I was sure that while his actions had nothing to do with me even though it effected me deeply.

It is time to think about the person you share your life with or you won't be doing it much longer.

Morning will come and I'll do what's right

Just give me till then to give up this fight

And I will give up this fight

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it! 

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

I Can’t Make You Love Me

Bonnie Raitt

Turn down the lights

Turn down the bed

Turn down these voices inside my head

Lay down with me

Tell me no lies

Just hold me close, don't patronize

Don't patronize me

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Here in the dark, in these final hours

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power

But you won't, no you won't

'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see

The love you don't feel when you're holding me

Morning will come and I'll do what's right

Just give me till then to give up this fight

And I will give up this fight

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

You can't make your heart feel something it won't

Here in the dark, in these final hours

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power

But you won't, no you won't

'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Michael Reid / Allen Shamblin

I Can’t Make You Love Me lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Amplified Administration 

better days with better ways

This is from my other site, PTSD Patrol where I post daily now. If you risked your life for the sake of others, there is a special video below for you.

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
March 16, 2021

Are you fighting people who are trying to help you? Are you fighting God? Are you fighting yourself? You know you are not the way you want to be, not the way you used to be and nothing looks the way it did before. What are you doing about it? Are you trying to find someone to blame for the way your life is? Then maybe you should start with yourself because for whatever reason, you ended up believing you are a lost cause.

Time to start believing you are a worthy of better days.

Most of the time, survivors left the church because they did not find what they needed there. At least that is what some say but the truth is, what you needed was the foundation the faith was built on. That foundation is Jesus. Personally I don't attend church anymore and became a Chaplain so that I could care for the needs of fellow churchless souls, much like Jesus and His disciples did. They went to where the people were and tended to their needs, giving them reason to hope for better days, learning a better way to live and know they were loved.

Look at His life! He was raised poor, spent His ministry homeless and had no possessions. He was treated like a rock star one minute and hated the next by the same people who ended up shouting for Him to be Crucified. He knew what it was like to feel abandoned, betrayed, tested, and He knew what it was like to feel the emotional pain of someone else so deeply, He cried for them. He got angry.

There is no way of knowing why you survived and others did not. The only thing you can be sure of, is you did and it is up to you to define what you will do for the rest of your life. If you are blaming God that is because you think He judged you and wanted you to suffer...but those are your thoughts and not His.

PTSD strikes the emotional part of your brain and that is where your soul lives. If your soul has a strong emotional core, then you feel things more deeply. That means you love more deeply and feel pain stronger than others. What you may not be aware of is how powerful that soul of yours is. Everything you need to heal is already there. The purpose of getting help is to help you find it within yourself. One more thing you may not be aware of is that Jesus, the Son of God, had no problem asking for help when He needed it. He couldn't have done what He was sent here to do, alone.

This is why today the featured video is Goo Goo Dolls, Better Days. You may think it is about Christmas but if you remember what church services were like, it was all about that one day when He came into this world, and the day He left all His love behind for all of our days!

Better Days

Goo Goo Dolls

And you asked me what I want this year

And I try to make this kind and clear

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings

And designer love and empty things

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud

'Cause everyone is forgiven now

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I need some place simple where we could live

And something only you can give

And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive

And the one poor child who saved this world

And there's ten million more who probably could

If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words and sing out loud

'Cause everyone is forgiven now

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight

And somehow stop this endless fight

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud

'Cause everyone is forgiven now

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John Rzeznik

Better Days lyrics © Songtrust Ave, BMG Rights Management

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD 

And if you are among those who suffered because you were willing to risk your life for the sake of others, understand that PTSD Is Not God's Judgment.