Disturbed understands what that pain is like

Heads up on this. If you watch the video from Disturbed, and someone pops into your mind, then send them the link to it. I means they are the one who needed to see this.

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 13, 2021

I used the song by Disturbed, A Reason To Fight, not too long ago. I saw this video when I was putting up today's video for PTSD Patrol. It is too powerful and when I watched it, I knew it couldn't wait for another day. Someone needs to see it today and I hope it helps! For everyone else, just consider this a bonus video for the day.

Disturbed understands what that pain is like.

A Reason to Fight

Disturbed

The image in your eyes

Reflecting the pain that has taken you

I hear it in your voice, so ridden with shame

From what's hailing you

I won't give up so don't give in

You've fallen down but you can rise again

So don't give up

When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin

And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight

Lost in your world of lies

I find it so hard to believe in you

Can it be real this time?

Or just a part of this game that we're playing through

I won't give up so don't give in

You've fallen down but you will rise again

I won't give up

When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin

And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight

Don't let it take your soul

Look at me take control

When knowing to fight this war

This is nothing worth dying for

Are you ready to begin?

This is a battle that we are gonna win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason

When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin

And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win

When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin

When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight

I'll be your reason to fight

Give you a reason to fight

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Dan J Donegan / David Michael Draiman / Kevin Gregory Churko / Michael Wengren

A Reason to Fight lyrics © Warner Chappell Music, Inc, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd. 

Open Library has the copy of the illegal For The Love Of Jack

Open Library has the copy of the illegal For The Love Of Jack book that was stolen from me back in 2005~

Top that off with what they have written under the top section that has nothing to do with this book! I own the copyright on this!

This is the book that the publisher stole, would not pay me for and would not remove. They would not take any responsibility for any of this and all these years later, I am still seeing it show up all over the net!

Do not buy this book or read it if it has this blue cover.  This is the legal one I had to republish on Amazon!

UPDATE from PTSD Patrol
PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
May 6, 2021

Cross posted on Wounded Times

No matter how many times people walked away from you, one day someone will help you. One day someone will show you the way and stand by your side until you get to where you need to be. Then you will become that "someone" for someone else. Don't give up. Don't give in. Fight like hell because you are worth it!

If you were not, then I wouldn't have been doing this work for almost 40 years with all the crap I have to go through to do the right thing. No matter what I faced, you were worth it!

Today there almost wasn't a video. I didn't have it in me to do one. I was actually online looking for something for myself. I discovered my work stolen again. It happens to me all the time and I am powerless to stop them from doing it. Sometimes they will put my name on it, other times they won't but for some reason they think they can just take it without my knowledge or permission.

I found the video that put into words exactly what I was feeling and it helped. It is from Five Finger Death Punch, Darkness Settles In. When I heard these lines, I cried. The thing is, it just got uploaded 15 hours ago!

It's like I'm holding all the aces

But I know I'll never win

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

The people I know who would help me, cannot help me on this. The ones who can help, I reach out to but they are not interested in helping me at all. The thing is, I am on the right side of this, doing the work for the right reasons and nothing is going to stop me. Screw the bastards. I know one day will come and they will be seen for who and what they truly are. I may not be alive to see it but I know I have the power over what I do and no one can take that way.

If you have PTSD then you know what it is like to tell death "screw you" and you lived because your life was worth it to you. You had no control over what happened but have the power to change what comes now. I'll be damned if I let the darkness settle in on my life. Don't let it settle in on your life either.

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!
#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

Darkness Settles In

Five Finger Death Punch 

Another sun sets down behind me

Another day comes crashing in

There's a whispering wind that's blowing

There's a storm that's closing in

I can hear the trains, they're rolling

To a place I've never been

And I can feel her breath beside me

With an empty glass of gin

As the darkness settles in

I can hear her voice again

I can hear your voice again

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

Waiting for someone to change me

But no one ever comes

I'm breaking down the walls that cage me

But nothing ever falls in place

Waiting for the end to take me

Blinded by the sun

All the ghosts that live inside me

Always waiting in the wind

I can see through my reflection

What I've become and what I've been

You see, your Heaven doesn't want me

And your Hell won't let me in

It's like I'm holding all the aces

But I know I'll never win

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

Waiting for someone to change me

But no one ever comes

I'm breaking down the walls that cage me

But nothing ever falls in place

Waiting for the end to take me

Blinded by the sun

You can take it away, tear it all down

Spit in my face, pushed to the ground

Look what I've become

I've fallen from grace, bloodied and bound

Taking up space, lost and I'm found

Look what I've become

I can hear the snakes, they're winding

Singing songs of pain and sin

There's an anger overflowing

From this empty glass of gin

As the darkness settles in

And the darkness settles in

Waiting for someone to save me

But everyone just runs away

Waiting for someone to change me

But no one ever comes

I'm breaking down the walls that cage me

But nothing ever falls in place

Waiting for the end to take me

Blinded by the sun

And the darkness settles in

(You can take it away)

And the darkness settles in

(You can take it away)

As the darkness settles in

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Ivan Moody / Zoltan Bathory / Kevin Churko / Jason Hook

Darkness Settles In lyrics © Gumpofwump 

When you do something for the right reasons

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
May 6, 2021

Well this just goes to prove the title I earned a long time ago! "The most famous person you never heard of." Yet again, someone just decided to use my work without permission. This time it was the University of Phoenix. And people wonder why I lost money every year doing the work I dedicated my life to back in 1982?

University of Phoenix

When you do something for the right reasons...someone will always decide they should just take it for the wrong reasons!

Legacy of healing PTSD from my Dad

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 22, 2021

When I think about my Dad, I often wonder how he'd feel if he knew what he started back in 1982. All these later, the number of lives changed because he served in Korea and he never knew about them. I am a living legacy to him and his life.

About a week ago, I received a strange message on Facebook from a man claiming to have pictures of my Dad in Korea. He wrote things that had to be true, so I called him. His Dad served with mine. The twist to the story is that his Dad probably never knew he had a son born in Korea. Yesterday he sent me pictures I had never seen before and I thought about my Dad a lot more than usual.

My Mom and oldest brother went to stay with him when he was in Japan.

We were a normal family. Both of my brothers were born on Army bases. He was a Staff Sergeant. He left the Army before I was born but I was a typical Army brat. I also grew up with uncles who served in WWII. That was all normal to me. I didn't discover it was not usual to have a family full of veterans, or that having living room furniture from Japan was odd, until I was older.

When I met my current husband, I was already divorced and only 23. The night he met my husband, he said, "He seems like a really nice guy but he's got shell shock." My husband is a Vietnam veteran. I had no idea what he was talking about and when I asked him to explain it, he told me to go to the library because war changes people.

I spent all my free time at the library with clinical books and a dictionary, learning as much as I could. The more I learned, the more I fell in love. Not just with the man I would end up marrying, but loved my Dad more and all veterans. Now they call it PTSD.

My Dad started what turned out to be my life's work. Thousands of articles, books, videos, several websites and more, all started because of my Dad's life in the Army. Over the years, I've had many messages thanking me for what I do and to pass appreciation on to my husband for his service. I just wanted you to know, that had it not been for my Dad, I don't think any of this would have started.

This is why today the featured video is, Dan Fogelberg, The Leader Of The Band.

If you've sent me emails thanking me for what I do, and thanking my husband for his service, I wanted you to know that none of this would have happened if my Dad didn't understand what he saw in my husband. It is a good reminder that we never know how much we do change the world when we are willing to do what we can, when we can, when we are willing to try.

read more on PTSD Patrol

Another group stole my work!

Wounded Times
Kathie Costos
April 20, 2021

Of all the things I would want people to share, it would not be about "suicide awareness" because I find it repulsive. Raising awareness that veterans are killing themselves, only spreads the heartache, reminding them of all the others who gave up. Not that any of these groups has the slightest clue what the true number is, or any of the data, or any of the facts that does save lives. What makes it worse is, they have no problem stealing something that belongs to someone else!

Today I found one of my images used to promote We Are the 22 on facebook. I did a post back in 2013. It was the oldest one I could find. 

This is the link to the post I did back in 2013! I've been doing this work since 1982! I had to look them up online and discovered how much publicity they are getting. They are making money, which I never cared about in all these years. You would think they could afford to come up with things on their own or at least respect my work enough to ask if they could use it. 

I am so tired of this happening!

UPDATE

I was just on their Facebook page where they have used this many times and found even more!

They used this slogan over and over again!

here is the link to my post from 2016, and yes, I messed up typing the date but have the Google Search result below.

They actually used this one when the post I did was attacking all the groups doing suicide awareness!

Here is the link to the post from 2016

Calling on angels

Wounded Times

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 15, 2021

Today my heart is broken. Two reports about the suicides in the military and veterans community reminded me of the reason I had to give up working with both groups after 38 years. I could not fight alone anymore. Telling the truth and saying what had to be said to save their lives was no longer possible without ripping my heart out on and daily basis.

Despite Congress' efforts and an ever-rising VA budget, there's no evidence the federal government has put a dent in the veteran suicide crisis, with the VA's data showing little change in the suicide numbers each year. (Military.com)

Military suicides are also higher. "The report from the Department of Defense shows our military saw a spike in people taking their own lives. In total, 377 active duty troops took their own life in 2020, across all branches of the military. This is an increase of 8% from the same time in 2019." but when you actually read the report, you notice that the numbers in the following article do not include the 194 "Reserve Components" that are included in the Department of Defense Suicide Report. 511, which has been consistently the average since 2012. If you find that hard to believe, since the media hasn't told you that part, then look at the whole chart on the link and add the two totals together.

"Your mental health impacts more than just you, it impacts everybody around you. And those are things we have to be aware of. You may not want to get help for you but what about for your daughter or for your son. What about for your mother or your brother who has to deal with the things that you were going through," said Williams." (Porsche Williams, the founder of Restore Life Global WUSA9 News)

It became all too clear that the only groups getting support were ranting about "raising awareness" that they were killing themselves. No plans, no facts, just saying it was happening and they ended up getting all the support while leaving people reminded that others gave up too. As if that was going to work when they needed reasons to get up in the morning. They needed hope and they needed the truth, but these groups did not have a clue what they were talking about...but they sure knew how to get attention for themselves.

I do not want to be contacted by one more group wanting money for what they do with results like this. No one should be giving them any attention at all when the results has proven over and over again, hasn't "put a dent in the crisis."

I asked for help from many groups and offered to let them take the credit for what I was willing to show them how to do. They turned me down. Over and over again, I tried to contact members of Congress but they would not listen. I wrote and wrote even more, but thousands of articles later, none of them did much good. Wounded Times has over 4.8 million page views, yet there are few people telling the truth about what has been going on. I have over 700 videos on YouTube and few bother to watch them or share them. 

I am willing to get back into this fight again but only if angels decide to fight with me. I won't fight this alone again. My heart cannot take it. I know what it is like to save lives and trust me, if I can do it, it isn't rocket science. It requires knowledge and doing it for the right reasons. I am calling on angels to help me this time, so all of us can help them heal.

Calling All Angels

Train 

I need a sign to let me know you're here

All of these lines are being crossed over the atmosphere

I need to know that things are gonna look up

'Cause I feel us drowning in a sea spilled from a cup

When there is no place safe and no safe place to put my head

When you feel the world shake from the words that are said

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I won't give up if you don't give up

I need a sign to let me know you're here

'Cause my TV set just keeps it all from being clear

I want a reason for the way things have to be

I need a hand to help build up some kind of hope inside of me

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

When children have to play inside so they don't disappear

While private eyes solve marriage lies 'cause we don't talk for years

And football teams are kissing Queens and losing sight of having dreams

In a world that what we want is only what we want until it's ours

And I'm calling all angels

And I'm calling all you angels

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

And I'm (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Calling all you angels (I won't give up if you don't give up)

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: James Stafford / Scott Underwood / Pat Monahan / Charles Colin

Calling All Angels lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC 

I started doing videos on PTSD in 2006. The first suicide awareness I did was in 2007 because I thought all that people needed to save lives, was to know it was happening. Putting the video and post together, ripped my heart out, but it was important. I wrote a book about suicides tied to military in 2013 proving all the money and "efforts" did not work, and why they did not work. It didn't do any good.

I did the video Alive Day in 2012 when the reports started coming out. This is what they need to know and this is how we do it!

If you are raising awareness about them killing themselves, you are part of the reason they are gone!

"And you know you can survive"

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 14, 2021

"And you know you can survive" are some powerful words to hear when you don't think you can. When everyone you know will not, or cannot, offer you any hope or support, those words empower you to do more than just survive. They let you know you have the power to do that!

Today the featured video is Mariah Carey, Hero. If you ended up with PTSD because of your job, risking your life for others, or sacrificing for the sake of others, you already know what a hero is, but you are the last one to claim that title for yourself. If you have PTSD because of your "job" then it was much more than a just a job. It was your vocation. Average people do not take those jobs. You are above average.

I used this song in a video from a long time ago, PTSD Hero After War for members of the military, with I'll Stand By You from The Pretenders. In this war against PTSD, you can also be a hero to someone else fighting their own war to reclaim their life. Once you heal, you can stand by them and show them the way. You can encourage them when they have no courage left. You can empower them when they cannot find enough power to get up out of bed.

If your job caused it, understand that humans are not built to withstand the constant onslaught of traumatic events. Most of the people you risked your life for, ended up with PTSD from the event you responded to...one event for them but it was one of many for you.

The thing is, as human as you are, if God put it into your soul to do that kind of job, He also equipped you with everything you need to heal from it. It is built into your emotional core and that core is stronger than others, or you wouldn't have been able to do that job for more than a little while. Most of the people I worked with over the years, had done the "job" for many years and faced so many events they were not even sure which one hit them the hardest.

Now think about what kind of hero you can be to others just by telling your story and sharing your own struggles with them. You are not done serving others even if you had to give up the job that caused PTSD. There are over 8 million Americans with PTSD, that is known about. There are many more who have it by have no idea what it is going on with them and they have not sought out help. You can reach them to and encourage them to seek help to take back their lives from PTSD too.

read more on PTSD Patrol

If PTSD had an anthem, it should be HELP!

PTSD Patrol
Kathie Costos
April 12, 2021

(This is from my other site for everyone with PTSD. I thought it was important to share it here too!)

Most people start singing a song whenever they hear it. They can't help it. It makes them happy to sing it. It is as infectious as it was when it was released in 1965! The song, naturally is the Beatles HELP! It was so popular, they even had a movie with that title. So why is it so much easier for everyone to sing that song, than it is to do it?

If PTSD had an anthem, it should be HELP! How much clearer does it have to be? Why the hell should anyone have a problem asking for help when they need it but have no problem, if they can carry a tune or not, to sing this song loud and clear? Has that ever dawned on anyone?

"And now my life has changed in oh so many ways"

Isn't that what having PTSD is like? Your life does change in so many ways. The thing is, getting help can change your life for the better. Wouldn't it make more sense to actually ask for help to be happier, than it is to settle for being happy singing this song for a few minutes? 

Common sense needs to come back into the conversation we've been having about PTSD because we're all tied of hearing the doom and gloom. All that has done is tell us that we should never expect to be happy again. Where is the hope in that? Someone said that asking for help is a sign of weakness but all that meant was the hope the had was weak and they wanted everyone else to be miserable too!

Isn't it time to stop singing the same tune and start asking someone for help in real life? Someone who can actually help you? Asking for help is normal. It is human. Won't you please, please, ask for help when you need it?

Remember, it is your life...get in and drive it!

#BreakTheSilence and #TakeBackYourLife from #PTSD

HELP

The Beatles

I need somebody

(Help!) not just anybody

(Help!) you know I need someone

Help!

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured (but now these days are gone)

(And now I find) Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me?

And now my life has changed in oh so many ways (and now my life has changed)

My independence seems to vanish in the haze

But every now and then I feel so insecure (I know that I)

I know that I just need you like I've never done before

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me

When I was younger, so much younger than today

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured (but now these days are gone)

(And now I find) now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down

And I do appreciate you being 'round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me, ooh

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: John Lennon / Paul McCartney

Help! lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Downtown Music Publishing

and the movie HELP